70) Dreaming About The Things We Could Be

"Āi yā, shuǐ huǒ wú qíng," Mal scrubbed his hands over his face as he sat in the pilot's chair.

He couldn't be anything but glad that Zoë was back on the boat. Couldn't be anything but grateful that the prison break had gone off without much of a hitch. Rick, Carolyn, River and Jayne were all back on the boat safe and sound. They still hadn't gotten rid of Bea, but he had hopes in that direction. He had (unfortunately) overheard much more than he wanted when he'd gone back to get some coffee. The ladies of Serenity were having a little hen party. Jack was already in bed, and it had been made clear to Bea that she should abide by the same curfew. Thank Book's dear and fluffy lord for that.

Rick and Jayne were sparring down in the bay with Simon keeping an eye on them in case things got out of hand. Which he had no doubt it would if those two were left to themselves. Rick was just too skilled and too dangerous, and Jayne was too gorram stubborn. It was a bad combination if they were left unsupervised. Especially as Rick had made plain that he wasn't used to pulling his punches.

Only now that things were (semi) back to normal (as normal as Serenity got) Mal had no choice but to face the revelations he'd encountered in the process of re-acquiring Zoë. Rick being the biggest one. Rick being an escaped convict. A murderer. And not just a murderer but one of the most wanted killers in the 'verse.

Oh, and the killer was flirting and doing tiān xiǎo de what else with Mal's Little Albatross. At least he hoped heaven knew what else, he didn't want that level of knowledge his own self.

And the killer also knew that River was a Reader.

How much worse could things get? Even as he had the thought Mal shook his head and mentally backtracked. Asking dangerous questions like that only brought trouble down on his head. And his crew's heads. He would count himself lucky that he hadn't spoken aloud. Apart from the possibility of folks hearing him talking to himself he'd be tempting fate beyond his ability to withstand.

Times like this he missed totin' baby Emma around with him. She had a way of just watching him and listening to him talk that made him feel like he wasn't just speaking noise to the air.

The sound of a footstep behind him had Mal turning his chair and he couldn't help the smile that curved his mouth at the sight of his other pilot. Something about Carolyn just…rested him. In a way she reminded him of Zoë, how he could sit in silence with her, not feel the need to fill the quiet with talk. But he hadn't ever had an interest in Zoë like he did in Carolyn. Her hair had grown out from the short cut she'd had when she first came on the boat. It pushed back from her face with gently curling ends and fell to her shoulders, framing her face.

She and Rick had ended the bed sharing portion of their relationship a while back. Right around the time that Rick had started to flirt with River more seriously. That Carolyn didn't mind at all was abundantly clear. Mal had some kisses and flirting (and a little more than kissing and flirting) and enough heated glances to prove that his pretty blonde pilot had no interest in her former lover anymore.

Though she had made a remark to Kaylee the other day about stocking up on batteries. Mal had taken himself out of the room quickly, mostly due to Kaylee's frankness regarding anything needing batteries and the merits and flaws of each such thing. The idea of Carolyn using something like that… well. Better to take himself out of the room before his mind went too far down that road and his interest became physically obvious. Bad enough he still had the sound of her moans and gasps in his head (and didn't mind one gorram bit either) from his unfortunate interruption of her and Rick's activities. And a few very similar sounds elicited from Carolyn by his own self and his lips on her sweet mouth. And a few other body parts. Not that they'd had much time for that very enjoyable pastime lately. What with the jailbreak and all. Hence Carolyn's comment about batteries.

"Hey," She greeted him with a smile as she took a seat in the co-pilot's chair. "How're you doin' with all this Mal?" She gestured towards the aft portion of the ship and presumably the problematic crew members contained therein.

"Oh… I'm some confounded, make no mistake," He admitted. He stood and closed the bridge door behind her. Certain things he really didn't want people who weren't crew to hear. And just because Bea had been last seen in her dorm and encouraged to remain there, didn't mean that she would (despite being warned against wandering without supervision). Besides, with the door shut, if he and Carolyn indulged in some kissing, they'd have enough warning to at least pretend they were just talking. Even if that pretense fooled no one.

"Seem calm enough for a man who's confounded," Carolyn tilted her head as he sat down again.

"Well, maybe I'm just now letting all of what I've learned and heard and seen in the past week bubble up to the top of my brainpan," He admitted. "You gotta admit, it's a lot."

"At least you have the benefit of working with Rick for a while before you found out who he was," She reminded him. "I really had to work to trust him at first," She shook her head thoughtfully. "Even back then though, if he gave his word, he kept it, good or bad." The pink mouth spread in a half grin, "Saved our lives more than once, as we told you. Just substitute Rick for convict when you think on what we told all of you about M6-117."

"I do find that some perplexing," Mal admitted. "And I'll admit to no small amount of worry when he and River told me who he was and what he's wanted for. Figured he was wanted somewhere or had been at some point, ain't many who call knives shivs that haven't served time. But hearin' all that?"

"It does boggle the mind," Carolyn shrugged. "I guess I'm easier about it because he heard damn near every bit of the crash and what I nearly did, and he didn't seem to think any less of me for it. Never threw it in my face the way that merc Johns did." She spread her hands helplessly, "He's a friend Mal. Being a killer, it doesn't make him less of a friend."

"I get that," Mal assured her. "That's part of what mystifies honestly. You an' Jack, I can tell you got a healthy respect, but you trust him too."

"If he wanted us dead, we'd be dead," The blonde pointed out pragmatically. "I doubt there's anyone on this boat who could keep him from it if Rick took it into his head to kill any one of us."

"River said somethin' about Rick rejoinin' the human race, and he needed our faith to do it," The Captain gazed out at the stars.

"He must've told her about M6-117 then," Carolyn nodded. Mal didn't correct that assumption. Chances were that River knew about everything they'd gone through long before Rick confided anything to her. But Rick had said Carolyn didn't know River was a Reader and he wouldn't say anything to contradict that. Once they got Bea off the gorram boat he'd be able to think about letting Carolyn in on that secret. The blonde pilot half smiled again, "Rick… he needed a little persuading, to risk his life for the rest of us," She explained. "You recall, I told you I went after him, pretty much guilted him into helping. I kinda threw it at him, that some part of him must want to rejoin the human race. Hell, afterwards, he fell behind and I went back for him, one of those sky sharks jabbed me in the back. I got no doubt that if he hadn't hung onto me and sliced into whatever had stabbed me that I'd be dead, a pile of gnawed bones on that rock."

"Don't mistake me, I'm grateful for all he's done. An' it seems like he's doin' his best," Mal wasn't sure exactly how to explain his mood. The level of discombobulated he felt upon getting some peace and quiet and recalling everything he'd been told had lessened some. He wasn't quite panicked, but he wasn't easy in his mind either and wasn't quite sure how to arrive at easy either. He wanted to pace, wanted to take a swing at someone, run amuck or howl at the moon. He could start yelling at the man in question, that'd relieve him some, but he had enough sense to realize it wouldn't bode well for his general health to do so. He doubted Rick would kill him, but the man didn't have much patience for histrionics, at least not from grown men (like Mal) who should know better.

Explaining that to Carolyn…well, Zoë would understand but he sure wasn't going to put all this on her when she'd just gotten back on the boat. The woman had earned at least a day or two's respite from insanity. And he for damn sure didn't want to put the boat down on some rock just so he could get shit faced drunk and start a bar fight to get all the agitation out.

"Mal?" Carolyn's gentle voice puzzled and halfway to affectionate.

He sighed and stood, pacing a bit before he, haltingly, began his attempt to explain. "I don't… I don't panic when there's a problem," Mal began. "I… well… I do what needs doin' until we're out of the woods… But it don't mean that I don't get flustered or consternated or what have you…just means I kinda…" He made a squishing motion with his hands, well aware that he looked like an idiot. "It's after… once everything's calmed down… I get wound up and ready for…well…" He looked out at the Black again. "In my younger years I'd've gone out and found a bar, picked a fight. Or gotten drunk."

"Hard to pick a fight when the only people on the boat who can take you are friends," She nodded. "Rick'd spar with you most likely."

"Only one on this boat with a prayer of keeping up with him is River," Mal shook his head. "Jayne's likely down there getting his pì gu kicked up and down the bay. And I'm not so young that I enjoy a fight like that anymore." He wasn't quite prepared for Carolyn to stand, grab his shirt and push him back down to the pilot's chair. "Wha—"

She further shocked him by climbing into his lap and cupping his face in her hands, "Mal. You ever think there are other ways to work off that excess fight or flight energy?" Her hips pressed down to his, soft body rubbing over his groin, and he groaned.

"Wasn't sure if—I mean, didn't really think that was an option, considering we ain't never—"

Carolyn's mouth, hot and hungry on his, and he thought his blood would boil out of his veins. His hands came down on her hips and pulled her closer before he slid a palm up her spine to her neck and hair, holding her so he could tilt his head and plunder her mouth. Strong woman, able to hold Serenity on course through the atmosphere, and she went so soft and warm and willing in his arms.

His other hand slid over her hip, squeezed that peach of a pì gu and she moaned, the sound going straight to his diǎo. That particular appendage was doing its level best to bust through his zipper and he groaned into her mouth. Hands, tugging his shirt open, warm on his skin, pushing down to pull his zipper down. Strong slender fingers wrapping around his dick and stroking up and down.

"Carolyn," Mal groaned against her mouth and inwardly cursed himself for his stupidity. She was right, this was the perfect way to burn off all that crazed energy, but… "Carolyn," He pulled back a bit. "Ain't that I ain't willin', you can see I am." He felt like he'd run twelve klicks in full pack, breathing so hard. "But this…" He nodded towards her, "This means more to me than…scratchin' an itch…"

"Mal," Those pretty brown eyes were slightly exasperated. "You tryin' to say that you don't want this to be just sex?"

"In a nutshell," He agreed.

"Okay," She didn't climb off his lap, didn't let go of his diǎo, simply pressed her mouth back to his for a moment. "I thought we'd settled that a while back… Any other observations or questions Mal?"

"Uh, no…not that I can think of at the moment," His answer was honest enough considering most of the blood that would power his brain had drained to his lap and the rest focused on the feel of her body and hands.

"Good. I've been patient and we've taken our time and I'm glad of it. I think we're ready for more," She let go of him for a moment to pull her shirt off, peeling the supportive undershirt off with it. "Because I really, really want you inside me Mal."

"I think I can manage that," Mal was done appeasing his conscience and the romantical side that went hand in hand with said cricket-type voice in the back of his head. "Take off your pants," He ordered before he fastened his mouth to one deep pink nipple and massaged the other firm breast with his hand. Her startled moan seemed loud in the still air around them, and he shuddered in reaction to the sound.

Holding her to his mouth, moving back and forth between her breasts, sucking on her taut wanting nipples, he could do this for hours. Carolyn's body shivering in his hands as she managed to drag off her pants and he spared one hand to push it into her panties and cup that heated, swollen mound. Rub the heel of his hand at the apex, feel her shudder hard in reaction.

And he wanted more. Needed more from her. Lift his mouth from her skin and tug her lips down to his for a moment before grabbing her by the hips and standing, lift her up and turn, set her in the pilot's chair. Yank her panties off those long legs. Such beautiful brown eyes, blown dark with lust, staring up at him in surprise, her mouth falling open in shock as he knelt in front of her and pushed her knees apart.

Gold curls, dark with her want and he rubbed his chin, grateful he'd shaved, before he tugged her forward a bit and draped her thighs over his shoulders. Inhale and bend down, lick through those soft lips until he found her clit, perfect little pearl swelling under his tongue and she gasped.

Hell yes, flick it with the tip of his tongue and listen to her moans and gasps as he learned her body and what would pleasure her. She liked his tongue, but she liked pressure better, his mouth sucking on her clit like he did her nipples. And once he figured that out… Her hips undulated with the rhythm of his mouth, rising gasps and moans, her hands in his hair, clutching at him hungrily. And his name on her lips moaned like a caress as she chased her fall.

When it came, he thought he'd never seen anything more beautiful, that strong body wracked with pleasure, a long low moan that rose to a sweet cry of his name. The sight of her panting, trembling in the aftermath and Mal wrapped his hand around his diǎo with a groan of need.

He could grow to love that lazy lidded look of her half-opened eyes after she'd climaxed. And God help him she wasn't done with him yet. Standing up and pulling him to his feet, pushing him back in the pilot's chair and straddling him again, her hand surrounded his cock for a moment before she slid down onto him. Hot, wet, tight, gripping his dick as Carolyn took him into her body and he groaned her name like a prayer.

"Unghh…Mal…" She moaned again. "Soo…good…oh god…"

"Carolyn," His grasp on her hips tightened as she ground down onto him. "I really…" Mal took a breath and tried again. "I really need…"

"Fuck me Mal," Carolyn demanded. "I want you…"

Oh yeah, he was just gone over her, grip those curved hips and pull her down, thrust up, and she felt so good… Every stroke a hard jolt that shook her breasts as she grabbed his shoulders for balance. Think of something else, ship maintenance, food stores, anything but that slick clinging heat surrounding his dick, getting tighter and tighter. He couldn't help the groans of her name spilling from his lips, wanted nothing more than to pound into her, grind even deeper.

"Unghh…Mal… cào dàn…Mal…" Her breath came in gasps, hands tightening on his shoulders, and she nearly whined as he withdrew before slamming his hips back up to hers, simultaneously pulling her down. "Ungh…god…Mal," Carolyn moaned, and he felt her body gathering, wrapping around him in a hot slick grip before she cried out. Her body fluttered and pulsed, a rush of damp heat as she fell around him, and he let go.

Harder, harder, slam their hips together, "Carolyn," Mal shuddered as he lost the battle for control and thrust into her once more before his own fall hit him like a sledgehammer of bliss to the spine. Clutched her tight against him, forehead to her collarbone and tried to catch his breath.

"Hmm…Mal," She murmured.

There was nothing he'd like more than to take her down to his bunk and continue their activities, but it was his shift on the bridge, and she needed her rest. But a few minutes more of holding her wouldn't hurt anything.

It was probably more like ten minutes before he loosened his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. And he was more than grateful for the small head off the bridge when she reluctantly lifted her body off his and picked up her underthings before heading for it. Which reminded him he ought to be doing up his pants and shirt.

Pick up her shirt and pants, lay them over the co-pilot's chair, find her shoes, one of them all the way back under the console, nearly fallen off the ledge down into the rest of the equipment under the consoles. Carolyn favored small lightweight rubber soled shoes with laces up the front. They didn't even come up to her ankle. That was something they should remedy, though at the moment he was only grateful it didn't take her forever and a day to get out of combat boots or work boots like Kaylee favored.

The object of his thoughts emerged from the head, and he gave her a smile, "Was just thinkin' we should get you some work boots. Sturdier and safer for you too."

"Trying to take care of me Mal," Carolyn smiled at him as she began to pull on her pants.

"Doin' my best," He waited until she'd pulled her shirt back on before he kissed her again and asked what he'd been wanting to ask for a long while. "We're bound to hit dirt sooner or later. If the surroundings are favorable, would you come out with me?"

"You mean like a date," She tilted her head, considering him and Mal held his breath. "Yeah," She nodded with a smile. "I'd like that."

Author's Note: So Carolyn and Mal finally made it to bed! Good for them. And Mal didn't go pick a fight with anyone either!

Chinese Translations:

Āi yā (interjection of wonder, shock or admiration)

shuǐ huǒ wú qíng (Fire and water have no mercy (idiom). forces of nature beyond human control / implacable fate)

tiān xiǎo de (heaven knows)

pì gu (butt)

diǎo (cock)

cào dàn (damn it! / fuck! (vulgar) / Satan (loan) / devil)