Note/Foreword
First, about the "project". This series of writings I had in mind for some time. Now it begins to take form. I am a rock music fan since childhood, know a lot about it and rock songs helped me a lot in life and still do, especially of some favorite bands. I even think that sometimes rocking to a good rock song works much better than a therapy session. And there are songs that fit my favorite movie characters well. So, now that I write on this site about Star Trek, why not write something like that, focusing on Spock? He is a musician, and well-versed in the Earth music history. What if he found some rock songs "acceptable"? ;)
Basically it is a written story form of what some people do on YouTube – make fan videos of ST clips to their favorite songs. Only this is maybe deeper – this is creative writing after all, and often introspective. And if the song fits the character, the story and the mood well – so what if it wasn't in the movie itself? Or was released years after the movie itself. I myself got into Star Trek decades after it began.
But just to be on the safe side, the usual banal disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the movies, the songs, the lyrics, etc., etc… No financial profit here. All possible respect for original works. But I do own my stories and my writing style.
The genre is not defined in the annotation – because the genres are going to be different, depending on the mood of the song and how it fits into the mood of TOS series and movies (and partly TNG, because Spock appears there too), or fit some character traits. And it is only Original Spock we are talking about here. The later iterations don't exactly rock ))). Though I am more lenient to Ethan Peck – he at least has that inner life, not just "acting", and the integrity and innocence that Spock is meant to have, young or old. But Peck's version sadly lacks some other vital things like soul strength, extraordinary intelligence, dry-wit sense of humor, etc. So – only Original, only hardcore!
You might want to listen to the quoted songs too, if you don't know them. My big thanks to all of their authors.
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About Chapter 1. What is very important here in the first part called "Light Years"… I wanted to make not just an emotional story about a death of a close one, grief and bereavement, or about "wow, Spock has emotions!" (of course he does, dammit!). I wanted to make a story about _telepathy_. About how a telepath might think and feel and act if he lost a close one, a soul-brother. He _must_ have tried to search with his mind! And it's not even about "the human half" – it is the question of life energy. For those who understand such things… (It's not exactly easy to be in Spock's head, and I don't claim absolute accuracy of description. But I am a test-proven empath myself – so I am halfway there into telepathy. I use whatever perception and knowledge I have. Spock, btw, is a born empath, not only a "mental image telepath" – maybe it is not directly stated in canon, but it is very obvious from Leonard Nimoy's acting).
And, being a telepathy story, it is naturally a story about that famous thy'la mental bond Spock and Kirk shared. Or infamous, because some Trek fans self-indulgently tend to interpret it in the way of homosexual fantasies, or simply slash – which is only_ their own delusion_, nothing more, and it was NOT intended by the original ST TOS creators! (And there are interviews to prove that, if you search). The telepathic concept of thy'la has nothing to do with any kind of homosexual fantasies, or "woke" agenda, or porn. It is really much more interesting and complicated than that, and is still not explored enough in fandom (probably because very few people really tried to!). Have you ever heard about the mysterious connection twins have, even at a distance? This is the closest analogy in human history. (And if you want twins to have sex – hmmm…).
So, another disclaimer for some too excitable fans: absolutely no slash anywhere here in this series. Keep calm and think with your brain, and feel with your heart. Not with your lower body parts. Hellooo, not all love is about sex! If all you want is slash – then look elsewhere. Hope I make myself clear.
Another very important thing is all that "Vulcan voodoo" stuff about soul and energy. You better believe it, people; it's real in our world too. For those mechanically-minded persons who think that "katra" is some bunch of memory files that can be downloaded and copied – think again. Vulcans are _not_ androids, at all. And they are taught spirituality since young age. Right there with the logic – one thing doesn't exclude the other.
Spock and McCoy dialogue scene (of course there is one!) has some reference to the beginning of the book "Vulcan's Forge" by J. Sherman and S. Swartz. At that time – a year or so after Kirk's disappearance and presumed death - Spock commanded a science vessel, Intrepid II, and McCoy was his Chief Medical Officer. Some other members of the Enterprise-1701 crew also served with Captain Spock. This reference is only to set a time/place frame for the scene (sometime on Intrepid II), the other events in that book are not addressed.
And of course, this first story also refers "The Next Generation" series and movies, as both Spock and Kirk, and also McCoy and Sarek appear there, and it is a good series in itself.
Oh, and possible triggers warning, I guess.
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Light Years
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I've used hammers made out of wood,
I have played games with pieces and rules.
I've deciphered tricks at the bar,
But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why...
I've come up with riddles and jokes about war,
I've figured out numbers and what they're for.
I've understood feelings and I've understood words...
But how could you be taken away?
And wherever you've gone...and wherever we might go...
It don't seem fair... today just disappeared...
Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar.
We were but stones; your light made us stars.
"Light Years", Pearl Jam
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He didn't give up for a long time. It was irrational, it was stubborn, it was desperate. And hopeless. And extremely painful. But he couldn't give up.
After all, it was not the first time. Not the first time such thing happened. And all the previous times he succeeded in finding what he lost, even when no one else believed in it and in him. All those times he succeeded because he refused to give up. Even against all odds and all reason. Because it was much more than proving a point or proving himself or winning over obstacles and circumstances and people – he did a lot of this in his life, but not for the petty drives of the Ego. He did it for Duty. And he did it for Loyalty. And he did it for his own soul – the soul that shared that very rare bond with another soul. And so, now he refused to give up too. For months and months.
What are mere months to someone whose lifespan can exceed 200 human years? What are mere light years to someone who has been to the edge of the Galaxy and back? And what are all the distances of space and time to someone who has gone beyond the edge of death and still came back?
What are all the distances of space and time to that unique brotherhood of souls – the thy'la bond? Even broken, it was still there.
Humans who heard of this phenomenon, especially referring to him and his friend, misinterpreted it sometimes. Very primitively and narrow-mindedly sometimes…Maybe because so few humans possessed telepathic abilities or understood them – but so many humans put the pleasures of the body above everything else in life. Seriously, they thought this bond had anything to do with the primitive body functions or perverse sexual pleasures? Those ancient Vulcan warriors and heroes formed this permanent, lifelong, going beyond death, deepest-level telepathic connection (deepest possible for non-relatives) for totally other reasons.
The thy'la bond is very rare, was very rare even in the ancient violent times of the Vulcan history. And it has nothing to do with lust or any pleasures of the body. The thy'la bond is born only of great danger and desperate fight for survival in extreme circumstances. And of extreme trust. Only when two minds join to share in each other's strength in the face of death and defend each other's life on every level. This concept is actually impossible to translate into Earth Standard in just one word or even in one sentence. But humans like to oversimplify things, and so one inaccurate translation (multiplied by uncontrolled hormones) bred a flood of delusion.
Hayal. Let them be in their ignorance.
He heard - and read - a lot of gossip through the years. He had, after all, very acute hearing and highly advanced computer skills. Absurd rumors reached him against his will. Even though his friends tried to protect him from this – especially now…
But even his friends – and he had some close friends even now – they stood by him, they felt the right things for him and displayed astonishing empathy that was totally disarming - but being human and zero-telepathic, they still didn't understand fully the concept of thy'la… And what it really meant to lose one.
Only one human person could understand it – because the same thing happened to him years before… And this one person was not here now. Not anywhere that he could find, not anywhere that he could reach with his mind.
Katra can be housed in material living bodies, even in certain half-living mineral substances – but katra itself is not of the body and not of the material world. It doesn't belong to material substance, or space, or time. The katric connection is not the connection of the bodies – it doesn't matter if there even are any bodies. As long as the telepathic bond is there, whole and not broken.
But when one of the two dies suddenly and alone…
Katra – soul – doesn't have nerves, or veins, or tendons, or limbs. It is pure energy. And it is hard to explain why there is so much pain. He knows why, of course, he learned all about these things – but it will take a very long time to work it out and heal. He will probably have to seek help of the mind-healers of Vulcan. If he fails in his search… and he doesn't want to think about it now. He endures the pain because – strangely – it helps him focus. He doesn't want to let go yet. It is too early to heal… The other end of the bond is now feeling like a severed limb, burning and pulsating where it was cut off, hurting where it is no more, the broken nerves sending excruciating impulses to the center of his being – the broken energy connection, of course, not "nerves". But the part of him that was connected by this bond is now a phantom, a void – it is not here.
Still he keeps sending his mental energy and his soul energy into this void, calling, searching. He doesn't care if it drains him…
Jim. Can you hear me? Wherever you are…
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They never found the body – or any parts of it, or even any particle traces that could remain after the explosion. Not that there exactly was an explosion – it was some sort of extraordinarily powerful energy wave that breached the Enterpise-B hull and took James Kirk with it. The so-called funeral was held with a portrait. Nobody knew where in this Galaxy or in this Universe James T. Kirk was and in what state – and so he was declared dead.
And Spock – the only one who could actually prove otherwise – didn't argue. Not only because he was in too much grief to argue. But because Starfleet simply wouldn't understand his arguments.
He didn't even want to go to that mock funeral. Of course he had to, but he refused to deliver a speech there. That was asking too much of him. Thankfully, the remaining Entreprise-1701 crewmembers understood.
They kept close together through the ceremony. Uhura, reaching to hold his hand several times through the speeches, wiping her silently streaming tears with her other hand. Scotty, looking guilty and afraid to look both Spock and McCoy in the eye, and so occupying himself with angrily warding off some too-intrusive onlookers. Chekov, looking like a lost child and sniffling helplessly ("So sorry, Mr. Spock, so sorry!"). Sulu, trying to keep a brave face but the shocked question "how could it happen?!" written on it clearly. Riley, Garrovick, Giotto, Rand and others huddling together… Chapel, who hugged him and turned away… And Doctor McCoy - dry-eyed and unusually quiet, but never leaving Spock's side through both the official and unofficial parts.
It was Spock's responsibility to support the crew, not vice versa – but he was grateful.
But he could share what was on his mind to only a scant few of them. And only some time later after the funeral.
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When a living sentient being dies – its Ego dies, fades away: all the memories and experiences of the life that ended, all the "habits" and desires, all the superficial social and intellectual construct that is called "Ego". The immaterial emanation that remains – katra or soul, or anima, or spirit, many names in many languages – is not exactly the copy or even the blueprint of the personality that lived. It is only the eternal energy core, the essence. It goes out to the other plane of existence - to join the elements of the Universe. And maybe to be born again sometime in another form – no one knows when or where. It does not die, but is nevertheless lost to that person's family and friends. Unless, of course, the full mental impression of the living person is captured telepathically with a special Vulcan ritual right before the death of the physical body and preserved in another – compatible – mind or in the special "katra stone". Preserved specifically by someone who is capable of doing it, was trained to do it and happens to be near at the right moment. Or at the very least by someone who is capable to receive the telepathic impulses transmitted by the dying person and then keep them in their mind, intact. Not only James Kirk feared to die alone. Most Vulcans did too, deep inside.
Spock was not with Jim when the hull of the Enterprise-B was breached by that unknown force wave. If he were there – he would have reached Jim at whatever cost… Saved him or his katra. Or died trying.
Regrets. These are regrets. Regrets are illogical.
But this sensation that had washed over Spock at the moment the bond broke – the moment Jim was gone and lost in that wave that crushed Spock's mind, rendering him blind and speechless in the middle of some diplomatic talk– it was illogical too. Jim's mind didn't recede slowly into darkness and fade away, as usually happened in death. It just disappeared instantly in a blinding flash. Snapped out of existence. And it was impossible. Unless…
What is, is. But in this case – how do I know what really is?
The Starfleet brass declared Jim dead and were not going to conduct any search. They told Captain Spock to give up and stop it - that one time when he suggested to the admirals to deep-scan the sector on his science vessel, Intrepid II. Not exactly in these curt words, sure, they tried to be tactful, but they made themselves clear – this was final. He didn't even get the chance to start talking about telepathy… But he had conducted too many searches in his Starfleet career to give up even this time. This was Jim. His soul-brother. Spock didn't require official permission or even official resources when it concerned Jim. He could carry on a search of his own.
And so he did. Opposing even Dr. McCoy, who began to doubt Spock's sanity. Well, they have been through this many times before too… But this was the Doctor, the closest friend remaining now. And so Spock took time to talk to him – even to meld - and to reminisce of the times when he, Spock, died himself, and Jim, McCoy and others went out to search for him, in a wild, irrational hope. The hope based on something they could only think of as a superstition – but they went out nevertheless. Yes, the Doctor remembered. How could he forget? He was made a vital part of that "superstition", after all. Not that he entirely stopped doubting Spock's sanity after that, but at least he was now on Spock's side.
And Spock persisted in his search with a true Vulcan stubbornness. Applying all available technology and his vast scientific knowledge whenever he happened to pass through that sector of space – and not reporting it to the Starfleet brass. But his main focus and his main efforts lay in his mind. In that rare and half-mystical connection that Vulcans called "tel thy'la" and Dr. McCoy called "Vulcan voodoo".
Spock put all his mental powers into these efforts. All his immense and well-honed ability of concentration and his will-power. All his keen perception and meditation skills. They have enhanced a lot since his Kohlinar trials and since the telepathic encounter with the entity called V'ger. They were lost temporarily in those strange circumstances surrounding his own – temporal – death, but were then gradually restored and grew even more.
His mental training and life experience had a good genetic base, too. He was the son of Sarek, one of the best psi-masters of his generation. And he was the great-grandson of T'Pau, who was the best psi-master of her generation. And weren't they all descended from Surak himself, however distantly? From the man whose exceptional telepathic abilities and mind-melding skills played a vital part in spreading his teachings and stopping the wars on Vulcan.
As for Spock's "human weaknesses"… Intuition and heightened empathic perception were not weaknesses – they were actually great assets, he knew it now.
He was not the strongest telepath in the whole galaxy, where there were species with telepathic abilities far exceeding those of Vulcans. But he definitely was one of the strongest among contemporary Vulcans. And still his powers were not enough.
Concentrating, concentrating very hard. Then sending his mind, his presence far and wide into the Universe. Verbal was only a small part of this process, but sometimes he called out in words – as he used to do when Jim was alive… was here.
Jim, it's me. Answer me. I am… not whole. I am not letting go. I can't. Answer me, Jim.
Hope is not only a human thing.
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Sometimes, in those brief fleeting moments between sleep and awakening (Vulcans always awaken quickly, instantly regaining alertness), it seems to him that he hears something. Someone. But his waking conscience and analytical mind always disprove these false hopes when he starts comparing images and facts. These are only memories. Voices from the past. It is his subconscious and his eidetic memory playing tricks on him. Sometimes they even create actual dreams in his sleeping mind, replaying whole scenes from his life. Bringing back the lost ones – even if for a short time and in illusion.
He knows these dreams for what they are. He knows how to differentiate simple dreams from telepathic messages or insights – he was taught this since childhood. He is not even supposed to have those illusionary night dreams as an adult – but when his mind is weary, and his body too, they play tricks on him. He doesn't fight these dreams. Doesn't want to.
But these fleeting moments on the borderline between the states of sleeping and waking – these vulnerable moments, when he clenches his teeth and shuts his eyelids so tightly they hurt… They still hold a promise. Some believe that these are the moments between dimensions. That in these moments one's soul doesn't need much effort to reach anywhere in this Universe or beyond it.
And so he tries, time and again, to reach between dimensions. He calls out, like he has done so many times before, on all kinds of frequencies.
Captain. Do – you – read me?
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Eventually he stopped. Ceased his futile efforts. Well, he didn't consider them entirely futile – but he stopped because of the Doctor.
Doctor McCoy was straightforward about it as usual. Intruding in Captain Spock's quarters by his own pass code (a privilege granted to the doctor long ago, which he abused sometimes). Finding Spock "in that freaking state again!" (the doctor's words) and declaring "the end of it, here and now!" (also the doctor's words).
"Dammit, Spock… I know this whole mind connection thing is hard on you. Bless me, I know. But stop acting like this. You know what it is? It's a monomania. An ide'e fixe. An obsession. You are only torturing yourself! Stop it. You are worrying the hell out of me, Uhura, Chekov – all of the old gang!"
"These are emotions, Doctor. What you always wanted me to show. Like it's not enough already to feel them…"
"Yeah, right. But not that kind of emotions. You think too badly of me if you think I'd wish that on you".
Spock didn't look at him.
Dr. McCoy drummed his fingers on the table and looked away:
"Jim is gone forever, Spock. You can do nothing about it this time. We can do nothing, none of us. And nobody demands it of you".
"I do", was the predictable stubborn Vulcan reply.
McCoy rubbed his temples and sent a silent prayer for patience to God above. Or to whatever Power it was out there, where Jim had gone and left him alone with this stiff-necked Vulcan… But then – if this stiff-necked Vulcan went crazy from grief and sacrificed the rest of his life and health to the desperate, half-mystical, futile search for Jim – who would then keep McCoy from his own loneliness and depression? "Yes, Spock is still managing his captain duties and diplomatic duties well – bless that inscrutable Vulcan mind with all its partitions and barriers. But if those barriers shatter someday…" McCoy whistled silently to himself.
He looked at this impossible guy sitting stone-still in front of him – the guy who defied the laws of nature and the stereotypes of society all his life, starting with his birth itself. And continued to do it now. This guy, who sometimes did impossible things and still was none the happier for it… And sometimes he failed. "Even if you once managed to come back from the dead, Spock, it still doesn't mean you can now bring others back from the dead". This guy was not perfect, not an almighty god or an invincible superman – far from it. And thank Great God for it, too – Spock was already insufferable as he was. But God was far away, and someone here had to remind Spock of his human frailties sometimes. And dammit, of his Vulcan frailties too.
"Spock, listen… If even all this Vulcan voodoo doesn't help, after all this time – then Jim is really gone. Not in this Universe anymore, and that's it. Stop blaming yourself for failing to find him. You still have your life. That's what Jim wanted you to have. You have your work, your family… Take care of yourself now".
"I can't", Spock's breath was heavy. "I am… not whole anymore. I can't give up".
"Then let me help, dammit! Or let those Vulcan mind-healers help. Either way, you can't go on like this".
Spock didn't look at him.
"And Spock…" the doctor reached out and briefly squeezed Spock's hand where it lay numbly on the table. "Maybe it never came into that proud Vulcan head of yours – but I understand".
Spock looked at his hand on the table, then up at the doctor.
It had come into his head before, but through this brief reassuring touch he was reminded. The impulses conveyed were more than enough for a telepath. The doctor did understand. And the doctor was afraid to lose him too. Perhaps because he already had lost him once?
This human was so fragile physically, especially now, already advanced in years by human standards. But still that acute perceptiveness, great compassion and great vulnerability behind that grumpy snarky façade… Spock began to see these inner qualities when he got to know the doctor better – and they amazed him and made him tolerate all of the doctor's antics. Even made him feel protective of the doctor – when he was not feeling annoyed at him. It was hard for him to admit it in those times, on the Enterprise's 5-year mission. But now he could admit it freely.
The doctor was right. And the doctor was going through a lot of his own after Jim's death. And even though Spock didn't care about himself – he still had this human to care for.
He was not in the state for many words now. So he raised an open hand and said quietly:
"Allow me, Doctor".
And after the doctor's (slightly hesitant) nod Spock sent it all forward wordlessly, through the psi-points: his acceptance of the doctor's reasoning, his gratitude, his understanding of the doctor's own grief and his acknowledgement that the mental bond with his Katra-bearer was equally important and couldn't be neglected, whatever happened.
When Spock removed his hand, the doctor tossed his head like he was shaking water out of his ears and said only one word:
"Good".
And then he did such a typical Bones thing that Jim would have laughed out loud if he were here. Spock just smiled slightly with his eyes and lip-corners.
The one and only Old Country Doctor in Space walked to the built-in medicine cabinet and, with a practiced movement of a carnival illusionist, pulled out a bottle of bourbon. That was, of course, kept there specifically in case of his visits. On his way back he conjured up a pair of whiskey glasses, too.
And then Dr. Bones put all these goodies to good use:
"To absent friends!"
Spock joined in this toast with a silent nod. He still didn't trust himself to speak aloud.
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So Spock stopped "acting like this". He was strong. He was a Vulcan. It took some time and help to heal, but he made it through and was in control of his emotions and of his life again. Even if there still was that void of pain in a part of his mind. But he didn't allow himself to go there anymore – the doctor was right, it only drained him. He had a lot of responsibilities: work to do, starships to command, students to teach, a wife* and friends. And, later, a mission on Romulus.
So… he knew it was still there, the broken bond - but he didn't go there. He devoted himself totally to his responsibilities. And some of his friends even complained that he was getting "way too Vulcan" with the years.
Until, decades later, much older and more seasoned, Spock suddenly awoke in the night, in the catacombs of Ki Baratan, on ch'Rihan **.
It was not a dream, not a call, not even an image. It was that blinding wave of light, again, the wave from another dimension. Spock recognized it at once. The wave that took Jim away from this world, decades ago. Now it brought Jim back! Still alive…
Spock stared into the darkness of his small private room, wide-eyed but unseeing – all his focus was in his mind's eye… That part of his mind – and of his katra - that had been a severed phantom limb with phantom pain for so long – it was now whole again, alive and vibrant.
Jim… Jim!
No mistake this time, no illusion.
Jim! Do you hear me?
But he didn't. Jim's mind was occupied by something around him. Some unfamiliar planet and some people held his attention. Jim was back to life, and Jim was on an adventure again.
No. Jim was in danger! ***
Spock jumped from his bed – to run there, to stand beside Jim, to fight… To save. But he halted, took a few deep breaths and made himself sit back on the bed, and relax his body, and concentrate his mind. Jim was light years away, and there was no time to take a starship and fly there. Wherever "there" was. Spock knew that his thy'la bond could guide him through space as effectively as navigational equipment of a starship. But there was no time now. Absolutely no time.
All he could really do at that moment was send Jim his own energy, send Jim his own strength. This was what the thy'la telepathic bond was created for. Millennia ago, by those violent Vulcan warriors who still valued honor and loyalty above all else…
There was no better source of strength for Captain James T. Kirk than his ses'ik ne ki'ne **** - his former First Officer and forever soul-brother, Spock of Vulcan. So Spock did the only thing he could effectively do in this situation: he opened his mind, gathered all the psychic power he possessed and sent his own life-force through the mental bond, to the man on the other end of it.
And then – then he could only do his best to maintain strong connection and hope that Jim would use it well to get himself out of the danger he was now in. Even if Jim still didn't acknowledge Spock's mental presence… Well, Jim was never ESP-gifted… Spock had to do with what was there.
Spock didn't exactly "see" Jim, or even much of what Jim was doing or where he was. It was this presence and a discontinuous stream of blurred signals from Jim's sensorium that he received. And the impression that Jim was in a fighting mood and in danger. And only a few occasional verbal thoughts. The distance was great, after all, and Jim was so distracted by what was happening on that planet that he didn't think about Spock at all, didn't focus on the connection.
It was definitely a Class M planet – Spock could deduce it mainly because Jim moved around easily in acceptable gravity, his eyesight was unaffected and he had no trouble breathing. Except a little from exertion – but Jim was in surprisingly good shape for his age (that would be very old for humans).
Suddenly Spock realized: Jim hadn't aged at all since the day he disappeared 78 years ago. He was still the same Jim that Spock remembered so well.
Where were you, Jim? Will you ever get to tell me about it?..
Spock pushed these thoughts aside. The moment called for practical matters: muscle strength and fast movement, even breathing and equilibrium, and intense mental concentration.
Whatever Jim was doing, Spock could only be there in his mind and give him strength. Even spending his own physical and mental resources very fast. But now it was not a random search – now he knew he was reaching his aim straight and true.
Through those blurred signals from Jim's sight and hearing, and through the images in Jim's mind, Spock vaguely perceived two other humans (or humanoids?). One of them was familiar. Very familiar. And there was two of him – a glimpse of another familiar presence in that man's mind*****.
Very interesting, but right now Spock couldn't afford to divide his attention and spend his rapidly draining energy on such riddles. His focus point was Jim, and only Jim.
Jim!.. WHAT are you doing?!
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They failed. He and Jim.
Spock was found unresponsive by his followers, the members of the Unification movement. They panicked – they were intemperate Romulans and they thought he was poisoned. Well, in a non-physical sense, he was.
Jim died – this time finally and for real. And Spock, whose whole being was firmly focused on Jim in his last minutes and seconds of life, died with him.
Spock went through the stages of dying, finally giving up. That was all he wanted now – to die. He couldn't even imagine how he could continue living after this.
Jim's presence was receding, darkening, his – their – life-force fading away, never to return to this world.
But in those last seconds – in those last seconds when Jim finally stopped caring about what or who was immediately around him, when his attention turned inwards – in those seconds he finally knew Spock was there.
And – forcibly pushed Spock back, out of the mind connection and into his own body:
"Spock! No! I'm sorry. Good-bye…"
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Romulus did have good doctors, even if they knew nothing about telepathy. Spock returned to his senses, to his life and after that to his work on Unification. He was strong, he was a Vulcan.
Later he learned about the external circumstances of those events, the name of the planet (Veridian III) and the names of those other two men: Picard and Soran. And that, from the external point of view, or the Starfleet point of view, it was a winning situation: the insane villain was stopped, the destruction of the Veridian system averted, its population saved, the mysterious Nexus passed over, taking no one with it this time, and even the whole crew of the crash-landed Enterprise-D survived to the last man. There were only two casualties – Captain James T. Kirk and the USS Enterprise-D.
Jean-Luc Picard was a distinguished captain and an honorable man. Spock knew Picard, Spock had even melded with him before. Spock talked to him later and didn't blame him for anything, naturally. But wasn't it a very strange coincidence that it was Picard who had first brought Spock the news of his father's death and then it was Picard again who closed the eyes of Spock's dead soul-twin?
The Doctor agreed:
"Is this Picard an angel of death or something?" grumbled the now very old country doctor from the subspace screen.
Spock couldn't answer this question and didn't have to. But he silently reminded himself again that he still had this human to care for.
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Jim left his body, but didn't go out of existence.
The bond was broken, but it was still there.
We shall meet again on the other side, Jim…
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With heavy breath, awakened regrets...
Back pages and days alone that could have been spent
together... but we were miles apart.
Every inch between us becomes light years now.
No time to be void, or save up on life,
You got to spend it all.
And wherever you've gone... and wherever we might go...
It don't seem fair... you seemed to like it here...
Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar.
We were but stones; your light made us stars.
"Light Years", Pearl Jam
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* and he had a wife – well, Picard in TNG said that he knew Ambassador Sarek ever since he happened to be a guest at Sarek's son's wedding. It could only be Spock (Sybok was unmarried, AFAIK, at least at the time he appeared in the TOS movies). And, like many fans and even official series writers, I prefer to think that the bride at that wedding was Saavik. I like her.
** in the catacombs of Ki Baratan, on ch'Rihan * - in the catacombs of the capital city of the planet Romulus. In the Romulan language. ("Romulus" is obviously an Earth name in Latin and couldn't possibly be used by Romulans among themselves).
*** Jim was in danger! – Referring, of course, to the events shown in TNG "Generations", when Kirk and Picard came out of the Nexus on the planet Veridian III to stop the mad scientist Doctor Soran from destroying its sun (and subsequently the planet system) to get enough energy to transport himself to the Nexus. Kirk, for whom time in the Nexus didn't flow and who was still only about 60 and healthy when he came back, was almost immediately killed in an accident on Veridian III. In a rather absurd way too.
**** ses'ik ne ki'ne – literally "accountable sword-brother" in Vulcan.
***** A glimpse of another familiar presence in that man's mind – Jean-Luc Picard was joined in a very deep and long mind-meld with Ambassador Sarek to help the aged Sarek temporarily overcome his neurological decease that caused emotional instability and finish a diplomatic mission successfully (TNG "Sarek"). The mental bond formed was strong enough to hold distantly. And very personal - Picard practically became Sarek for a couple of hours, reliving Sarek's deepest fears and emotions and in turn lending part of his personality - the stoic part - to Sarek. After that meld ended, they still seemed to understand each other without words. Later Picard visited Sarek on his death-bed to inquire about Spock (who suddenly left everything and went off to Romulus). And then Picard brought news of Sarek's death to Spock on Romulus and suggested that Spock meld with him to access his father's memories and emotions. This meld had a very profound impression on Spock. And as Spock never mind-melded with his father during Sarek's lifetime – so Picard really must have appeared as "two people" to him. That's how Spock would probably perceive Picard ever since - telepathically, of course. (And maybe it is taking things too far, saying that Spock could perceive Picard as such in a distant telepathic contact over space… But then: Spock had good psi-genes, passed the Kohlinar rites with flying colors, even if he didn't take the final one, he sensed V'Ger and Kirk through light years in ST TMP, and later restored his psychic powers with time after his resurrection. So why not suppose that his psychic abilities only developed further with experience? And Picard carried a part of Spock's father in his mind – so there must be the family mental bond at work here too. I at least don't take things that far as to imagine that Spock would receive clear images and talk to Jim easily over all that distance and distraction - definitely not).