Hey guys!

Thanks so much for following along with me for this fic!

The rage at Sam is understandable and I'm glad that it's universal lol

Let's see if Sam has learned any lessons.

Enjoy!

~TH~

The sound of the front door opening had Sam jerking awake on the couch. Dean's soft curse made Sam glance at the clock. It was almost five a.m. Dean had been out all night. It wasn't unusual when Dean closed the bar, but Sam couldn't remember the last time Dean stayed out late just because. Then again he also couldn't remember a time Dean wasn't working himself into the ground.

"Dean?"

Another curse was not encouraging.

Sam made his way into the kitchen, flipping on the lightswitch. "Hey you good?"

"'M fine, Sam."

Sam watched his brother rub at his forehead, fumbling to turn off the light. A foreign thought struck Sam. "Are you… are you drunk?" Despite Sam's accusations that Dean was nothing more than an alcoholic, he'd never actually seen Dean drunk.

"No, I'm not drunk. Hungover, maybe. But I'm not stupid enough to drink 'n drive no matter what you think of me." The edge of bitterness, usually carefully controlled, struck at Sam.

Okay yeah, maybe that was fair. "I wasn't accusing you, you just- never mind. Are you okay? You never came back and I was worried that-" Worried that he had taken off again. Worried that Sam had once again screwed up beyond repair. That dean was going to leave him, forever this time.

"I told you not to wait up." Dean sighed, running a hand through hair and dropping to sit at the kitchen table. "I had a bit too much last night. Slept it off at Benny's."

"That makes sense." A wise adult decision made by his responsible adult brother. Sam took the seat across the table. "Look Dean, I'm sorry about last night."

"I don't want this entire weekend to be you apologizing."

"Not just let me- I know okay. I screwed up. Again. I forgot that you're more than just my brother. And, well, you supported me going away to college even when Dad said I couldn't. I owe you the same support. I shouldn't have been such a brat about it. It just… surprised me. "

"Sam, if I thought you really needed me, that you couldn't make it without me, I'd come back. But you can. You've proven you can. And if I'm being honest I didn't think I could survive without you . I was stressed about you going to college. Still am. But all I've ever known is taking care of you. I wasn't sure if… I didn't know what would happen to me when you were gone. What my purpose would be. But then I left. And found out that not only can I survive on my own, but it's… good. I have a new purpose. My life isn't only you anymore. And I get that it might be hard to hear, but I think it's good for both of us."

Sam didn't know what to say. It did hurt. He wanted Dean all to himself. The last few months had reminded him just how much he relied on his brother. Their mom had died when Sam was just a baby. And Dad had just gotten worse over time. Sam had a few good memories, really early on before the alcohol had become John's one true love. But Dean had always been the one to take care of him. The one who protected him and made sure that everything was going to be okay. But Dean deserved that for himself too.

It hadn't been intentional, but somewhere along the way Sam had stopped viewing Dean as his own person, and started to view him as this magical extension of his family. The worst parts of Dad and the worst parts of Sam mixed with the magical force he assumed he would have gotten from Mom. But Dean wasn't Dad. And he wasn't Sam. In fact he was better than both of them combined.

Dad had always said everything was Dean's fault. Like John had no control over his own actions. Everything was a reaction to Dean. Dean cost too much money, that's why they didn't have any. Dean was being too loud of course John freaked out on them. Dean should have watched Sam better. Dean should have been prepared. It always fell on Dean.

And Sam had fallen back on that. Because it was easier. It was Dean's fault Dad left. It was Dean's fault Sam couldn't go on the trip. It was Dean's fault the kids at school made fun of him. It was Dean's fault his life sucked.

But the pieces were starting to fall into place. And as the blurry picture cleared, Sam could now see that none of that was true.

It was Dad's fault they had no money. He was an alcoholic who got fired from his job and didn't let that stop him from spending all their money on booze. Dean was the one who went out and got a job to pay for food. Food Dean never really seemed to eat enough of.

Dean wasn't too loud, Dad was irritable because he was drunk. Dad wanted an excuse. Dad was responsible for his own actions. Dad should have taken care of his family. But he didn't. So Dean did.

It wasn't Dean's fault Dad left. It was Dad's fault.

It wasn't Dean's fault Sam couldn't go on the trip. In fact Dean worked himself nearly to death in order to pay for it. And he'd done it. But if he hadn't, Sam could have found a job. Sam could have figured something out.

And those kids at school were bullies. The stuff Dean had gotten him to wear was just fine. Sam was just insecure.

John's life choices were his own. So were Sam's. Dean could only be held accountable for himself.

"You're right." Sam finally said.

Dean glanced up at him, exhaustion creeping through the raised eyebrows. "I am?"

"You deserve to live the life you want. It's different than the life I want but…" he hesitated, feeling as if he was going against everything he believed. "But that's okay. You don't have to go to school to make something of yourself. I'm… I'm proud of you."

Dean's entire face lit up at the simple praise. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I could never have done what you did Dean. I couldn't have. I'm too selfish."

"Sammy-"

"No, I'm serious. I've only made it this far because of you. So if I haven't said it before, thank you. Thank you for everything."

The half smile that curled Dean's lips meant everything to Sam. Dean opened his mouth to say something when his cellphone rang. The smile was replaced by a scowl. "Who's calling me at five in the morning?"

But his face changed when he saw the caller ID, a look of panic overtaking his features.

"Dean?"

He answered the phone without addressing Sam. "Hello?"

Sam couldn't hear the other voice, but he could tell it was female.

Dean relaxed, a soft smile filling his face. "Sorry, I thought something was wrong….. No, everything's fine." He glanced at Sam. "It's good even..… Yeah Sunday.…. Really?... Yeah I can make that… It's only six hours." Dean let out a half laugh. "Yes, I'm sure….. Tell him I'll be there, or maybe don't in case something comes up, but I will try to make it….. Yeah..…" Dean blushed and it was Sam's turn to raise his eyebrows. "Uh yeah, yeah….. Love you too….. See you Sunday."

He hung up the phone, avoiding eye contact with his brother.

"Who was that?" Sam grinned, he hadn't seen his brother like this since at least high school. Maybe ever.

The blush that had started during the phone call brightened. "A… a friend."

"A friend who calls you at five in the morning?"

"She thought she would get the answering machine." Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

"Are we not going to talk about Dean 'Commitment Issues' Winchester saying 'I love you'?"

Dean stood, starting to walk away. "Talk about what you want, I'm going to catch a few more hours of sleep before Bobby wakes up."

"Uhuh, and what's this important event on Sunday you have to leave me for?" He followed his brother, the familiar ribbing was soothing to Sam's guilty soul.

"I promise you it's more exciting than watching you read a book."

"You're avoiding."

"And you're annoying."

"Come on! I've been waiting all night to talk to you!" They were almost to the steps now and at risk of waking Bobby. He didn't care. "I want the details! I shouldn't be surprised you already found a girl back there. Should have known it was more than work you had to get back to."

"And I told you not to wait up for a reason."

"Come on, Dean!"

The older brother gave him one final glance, shaking his head before starting up the stairs. "Goodnight Sam."

"Okay but you're not escaping me in the morning. I'll pull Bobby in if I have to."

"Goodnight Sam!" He called back down.

Sam grinned. And for the first time in months, maybe years, everything felt good. Back to normal. Normal with a lot of room to grow.

Maybe not the same. But better.

FIN

~TH~

See! I can end things on a positive note!

This is the end of the trilogy I originally planned to write, but I want to write more in this universe. I also wanted to open up for other people to write in this AU if you so wish. Just make sure you either tag me or DM me depending on where you publish it.

Who do you think the girl on the phone was? It's probably obvious lol. I don't normally write a lot of romance but I'm playing around with fics about Dean's life now which would include this romance. I've got whole backstories for them lol. I don't know when I'd post them, but stick around if you're interested.

I also someday want to write some backstories from when John was still around. Yet another, "I have plans but we'll see when I write it". But anyway, I really love this universe and will continue it someday. But at least for now we are at a satisfied ending.

Things aren't perfect, but steps have been taken to lead to healing. Sometimes that's the best you can do.

Be sure to let me know what you think!

Much love and God bless,

Jamie