Four years. Four long years had passed since Juvia had left the guild. For Gray, those years had been a blur of missions and battles, but also a descent into a darkness he hadn't anticipated. The absence of Juvia had created a void in his life, one that he had tried to fill with work, but ultimately ended up filling with something far more destructive.
Gray sat at the bar of the guildhall, the air thick with the smell of ale and smoke. His glass was nearly empty, and he signaled Mirajane for another. He had become a regular fixture here, seeking solace in the numbing effect of alcohol. The once vibrant and confident ice mage was now a shadow of his former self, lost in a haze of regret and longing.
He took a long drink from his refilled glass, the bitter taste doing little to alleviate the pain in his heart. Gray's thoughts drifted to Juvia, as they often did in moments like these. He remembered the day she left, disappearing during a mission, leaving only a note and his coat behind. He had been too wrapped up in his own battles, both external and internal, to see the depth of her feelings for him.
Gray sighed, running a hand through his unruly dark hair. He had always been so focused on getting stronger, that he hadn't allowed himself to see what was right in front of him. Juvia had been there for him, supporting him, loving him, and he had taken her presence for granted. It wasn't until she was gone that he realized how much she had meant to him.
The memories of their time together played in his mind like a haunting melody. He remembered her unwavering devotion, the way she had looked at him with eyes full of love and determination. He remembered the way she had fought by his side, her water magic complementing his ice, a perfect harmony of elements. And he remembered the times she had tried to show him how much she cared, only for him to brush her off, too afraid to let someone get that close.
Gray's grip tightened around his glass. He had driven her away with his coldness, his inability to confront his own feelings. In her absence, he had come to understand the depth of his own emotions, the love he had been too blind to see. It was a cruel irony that he had to lose her to realize just how much he loved her.
Mirajane watched him with a concerned expression, her usual cheerful demeanor replaced with worry. "Gray, you can't keep doing this to yourself," she said softly, placing a hand on his arm. "Juvia wouldn't want to see you like this."
Gray looked at her, the pain in his eyes evident. "I know, Mira. But I can't help it. I... I miss her so much."
Mirajane sighed. "Have you tried looking for her? Really looking?"
Gray nodded. "Every mission I take, I hope to find some clue, some sign of where she might be. But it's like she vanished into thin air."
The truth was, Gray had searched tirelessly for Juvia. Every mission, every town, every lead, he followed them all, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, to find a trace of her presence. But she had been careful, leaving no trail behind, and his efforts had been in vain. The frustration of not finding her had only deepened his despair, driving him further into the bottle.
He stared into his drink, the alcohol blurring the edges of his vision. He had tried to drown his sorrows, but the pain only grew stronger. Each drink was a reminder of his failures, each night spent in the guildhall a testament to his descent into despair. The guild had noticed his change, of course. They had tried to reach out, but Gray had pushed them away, isolating himself in his grief.
The truth was, he was afraid. Afraid of opening his heart, of loving someone, because every time he had done so in the past, he had lost them. His family, his master, Ultear, and now Juvia. Each loss had driven him deeper into himself, making him afraid to let anyone get close. He blamed himself for being too weak to protect them, and that guilt had turned into a fear that paralyzed him.
Gray finished his drink and rose unsteadily to his feet. The guildhall was quiet, most of the members having retired for the night. He made his way to an empty room in the medical room and collapsed onto the floor, the weight of his sorrow pressing down on him. He had been a fool, and now he was paying the price.
He lay there for a long time, his thoughts a chaotic swirl of regret and longing. He had lost Juvia, and with her, he had lost a part of himself. The road to redemption seemed impossible, but as he lay there, he made a silent vow. He would find her, tell her how he truly felt, and beg for her forgiveness. It was a faint hope, but it was all he had left.
As the night wore on, Gray found himself back at the guildhall, his heart heavy with the burden of his past. He had lost a lot of people, and now Juvia. Each loss had driven him deeper into himself, making him afraid to love, to open up, for fear of losing yet another person he cared about. The guild had been his family, but Juvia had been something more. She had been his light, his anchor, and without her, he was adrift in a sea of darkness.
Gray's eyes filled with tears, the weight of his emotions finally breaking through. He remembered the first time he had met Juvia, the way she had looked at him with such hope and admiration. He had been too blind to see it then, too wrapped up in his own pain and anger. But now, in the silence of the empty guildhall, he couldn't escape the truth. He loved her, and he had let her slip away.
He closed his eyes, the tears spilling over and running down his cheeks. He had wasted so much time, hurt the one person who had loved him unconditionally. And now, it was too late. She was gone, living her life somewhere far away, and he was left to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart.
As the night wore on, Gray found himself back at the guildhall, his heart heavy with the burden of his past. He had lost his family, his master, and now Juvia. Each loss had driven him deeper into himself, making him afraid to love, to open up, for fear of losing yet another person he cared about. The guild had been his family, but Juvia had been something more. She had been his light, his anchor, and without her, he was adrift in a sea of darkness.
With that thought, Gray drifted into a restless sleep, the image of Juvia's smiling face the last thing on his mind.