Corso stumbled into the spaceport. The shuttle ride has his legs stiff, but the only thing he was aware of was how badly his heart hurt. He threw his gear bag over his shoulder and hobbled out into the bright sunshine. He looked around at the town, noting the shops that had changed and the new businesses that had taken root. He spotted the speeder dealer down at the end of the block and started toward it. How am I going to do this, he wondered. I know I needed to make a stand, but at what cost? He had barely reached the speeders on display when the salesperson hurried over. He ran his hand over a sleek black model, and silently handed his cred stick over when the dealer was near enough, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He threw the bag into the passenger seat and when the dealer returned with the keys, he settled into the seat, momentarily enjoying the rush of power underneath him before turning toward the ranch. The tears streaming down his face were dried quickly in the hot wind blowing around him. I'll be okay once I'm on the ranch, he told himself.
Miriah stayed in her quarters, crying one moment, angrily punching the pillows on her bed the next. Why? That was her question, even though she knew the answer. The next question was, how do I do this without Corso? What do I tell Odessen? Will he contact the kids? Her list of questions went on and on, without a clear answer. Mags had tried to bring her some food, but Miriah refused. She had already been sick twice from breakfast, and she knew her stomach wouldn't tolerate anything at the moment. Mags had come back and held her while she sobbed, and when she'd tired, used force to help her sleep. Upon waking, she had made her way to the bridge, where Aric sat monitoring the news traffic. Miriah slid into the right seat, and sighed. "Anything in the news?" she asked.
"Nothing at all," Aric assured her. "What will be the official policy?"
Miriah was silent for a few minutes before responding. "Corso is working with Alliance forces on Dantooine."
Aric nodded, he'd figured that was the best explanation. "If I hear anything, I'll let you know." He listened for a few seconds, then turned to her. "Mir, we're all with you. Both of you. You'll find your way back to each other. I know it."
Miriah turned to meet his gaze, her eyes raw and swollen. "I hope you're right." She turned her face to the side window, drawing her knees up and resting her head on them. Aric could feel the waves of hurt and loss coming from her, and let her be.
Corso passed the gates of the ranch and felt his chest expand in a full breath. Parking the speeder beside the house, he saw his ranch foreman coming toward him. "Good to see you, boss," Rizzo said, and they shook hands. "House is all set. You the only one visiting?"
"Just me," Corso answered, and felt his chest ache. "How are things?" They chatted about the ranch and business, and when Corso went inside, he almost went to his knees. The kitchen, where they'd spent so many years being together, cooking, eating and being happy. Stumbling, he made his way to the bedroom and managed to store his gear before collapsing on the bed. He'd not allowed himself to think how this would be, being in their home but not with Miriah. It brought back memories of when she was frozen in carbonite, the endless days of suffering and loss. With great effort, he stood and went to the encrypted holo in the office, dreading this call to his children. He started with Logan, who he figured would be less emotional about it, and then he'd call Devin. He'd save Caly for last, he thought. She'll be the one who will be most upset. With a sigh, he hit the frequency stored in the directory, and sat back in the chair.
Miriah had managed to make her way into the galley and took the ingredients that Caly had thoughtfully stocked from the cooler. Her mind was a blank as her hands worked, and she chopped and cooked, the wonderful smells making Magdalane's tummy rumble. She stood at the door and watched her sister, trying to gauge whether to enter. Finally Miriah called out, "Come in or out, but stop staring." Mags grinned and joined her sister, sitting at the island counter where Miriah was working. "I'm not in the mood to discuss this," Miriah snapped, and Mags only nodded. She had figured that Mir would need a little more processing time, even without the brain injury.
"We only have a couple more travel days," Mags observed. "We may not be able to eat all of this, but I'm certainly going to make a dent in it."
"Good," was Miriah's only answer. Without thinking about it, she'd made the family favorite stuffed pasta shells with her sauce, which was making Mags mouth water as it simmered. She felt the ship as it decelerated from hyperspace, and then accelerate as they entered the last jump to Odessen. Time was getting short, and then everyone would know that Corso didn't come home with them.
"Mir..."
"No, Mags. I'm not ready to discuss it. I know what I need to do, and there's nothing more to say." Miriah whirled around to stir her sauce and hide the tears that sprang to her eyes as if she hadn't depleted all the water in her body already.
Mags studied her sister then, saw the stiff posture, the favoring of her right side, all linked to the concussion she'd suffered. While Corso chose a bad time to do what he did, he must have felt he had no choice, she thought. She could insist, or explore Miriah's mind when she was sleeping, but instead, she shrugged.
"Okay then. Tell me how I can help." Mags saw Miriah's shoulders relax before she turned.
"I just need to figure out how to be a leader without sacrificing myself," Miriah said softly. "That's what's going on."
Mags wanted to hold her sister, to hug her and let her know she wasn't alone, but she knew better. She nodded. "I'm with you, whatever you need."
Miriah appraised her oldest sister, finally meeting her eyes. "I know," she replied, and Mags could feel the relief flow through them both. They tuned when Aric came barreling around the bulkhead.
"I'm starving, and it smells like all kinds of wonderful in here," he exclaimed, and Miriah rewarded him with a slight smile, handing him a plate. They all sat to eat together, and Miriah realized that while Corso was not here, she still had family. He would be all alone on the ranch, and the thought both made her sad and happy. Sad because she never wanted anything hurtful or lonely to happen to him, but glad because maybe that would bring him home soon. She proceeded to eat everything on her plate, now wanting fortification for changing her behavior. And for making it through the questions once she was home.
Devin sat on the back stairs, the children playing outside in the spring air. He was using all the force he could muster to mask his emotions. He was angry at his father, so angry! Why would he put Mom through this? He knew, better than anyone, what she accomplished day to day. He could see his father's point, but what good does it do to push more stress onto her tiny shoulders? He took a deep breath and pulled more force to cover his burst of outrage. Mom will be home soon, what can I do to make this easier? He had talked to Logan, and tried to talk to Caly over her sobs. Logan was of the same opinion he was. He'd have to try to get Caly to calm down before he talked to her, but Dad called all of us, at least. He sighed and felt Mia's soothing hands on his back. "She'll be okay, we'll surround her with love," she whispered. She sat beside him, continuing to use force to calm him, her hands running over his forearm before clasping his hand in hers.
"We will," he said, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. He could certainly shore up his mother's angst, but who will go out and do the missions? He knew he would, and it would require all his force powers to persuade her, but it was time.
Maura had read and re-read the missive Aric sent her five times, but she still found it hard to believe that Corso willingly went to Dantooine without his wife. She had sat at her desk, her hands idle in her lap, wondering how to handle the repercussions of this development. Then she snorted, recalling how she'd just phrased this horrible thing in her head. Tomorrow, they'd be home. And all of Odessen would celebrate the Alliance's triumph. The courtyard was already prepared for a victory party, she'd seen that early this morning. Gathering her datapad, she also set her shoulders. They'd celebrate that they'd made it through another tough battle, and Miriah would get through it. We'll be right by her side, Maura thought, and touched the datapad with Aric's message with her fingertips. Just get home, she thought.
Mags had gone to bed, full and tired, but unable to fall into that gracious, merciful sleep she'd been blessed with since leaving Odessen. She knew it was Miriah's turmoil that was causing the interruption, she could feel her sister as a mass of confusion, determination, and pain. They'd finished dinner and washed up, and Aric had made Miriah a mug of hot cocoa. Miriah had thanked him and gone to her quarters, but not to sleep. No, she was up pacing, Mags thought. Pacing and worrying. She got up and tied her soft robe around her before going to the captain's quarters and using her medical personnel override to open the door.
Miriah was at the apex of her pacing oval when Mags burst in. "Mir, you have to rest. Your brain is still recovering. And remember, there's a celebration planned on Odessen. You have to..."
"I know, I know," Miriah said, and finally flopped down on her bed. "You know I can't sleep without Corso."
"I know," Mags said softly, and pulled the injector out of the bedside table drawer. "I put this in here when we first took off, in case you needed pain relief. Let's give you a little, okay? Just so you can relax and rest." With a small nod, Miriah agreed, and settled herself in bed. Mags injected a small dose of the pain relief drug, and saw Miriah sigh. "It won't always be like this, Mir. You just have to endure a little longer. Once we're home, and life gets a little more normal, you'll see."
"I hope so," Miriah said, her eyes already closing. Mags waited until her sister was asleep before turning to go back to her quarters. She stopped and thought for a moment, then climbed into the large bed. If Mir needed her, she'd be close. She closed her own eyes and felt Miriah reach for her hand.
Corso worked outside for the rest of the day, and when the sun set, he was physically exhausted. He dragged himself into the house and to the kitchen, taking a thawed dish from the cooler section of the refrigerator. Thank the force for Rizzo, he thought, turning on the oven. He placed the dish inside and went to shower off the dust and dirt, lingering under the hot water. Once he was dressed, he made his way back to the kitchen and checked on his dinner before calculating the time difference for Odessen. Maybe he could catch Mir on the ship before they landed, he thought, and hurried to the holo. When the frequency connected, it was Aric who answered. "Hey, brother. Let me get Mir," Aric said, and Corso nodded. When Miriah appeared, he could see the wariness in her eyes, her face was drawn and pale, and he felt his soul ache at the sight. "Morning, darlin'." He could hear the forced happiness in his words, and winced inside.
"Good to see you," she responded. "We'll be landing home in just a few. The official line will be that you're on Dantooine to help train our troops there."
Corso hesitated but then nodded. "Agreed. I've talked to the children," he told her, and saw her nod. She'd briefly talked to Devin in the force earlier, and knew that Corso had kept his word. As if he ever wouldn't, she told herself.
To him, she met his gaze. "I'm going to do all I can to convince you that I am stepping back from active missions. But you have to think about who will go in my place."
Corso hadn't considered that. He'd assumed that it would be himself and Aric, but then he knew without doubt that Devin had already stepped up to that opening, and it made him hang his head. "I know," he replied. "I miss you already." He saw her almost break at that, and caught her muffled sob. "I'll talk to you soon, darlin'." The link disconnected and he sat heavily in the chair, only moving when the fire alarm roused him, smoke filling the kitchen.
Miriah waited on the ramp as requested and when she was given the signal, she pasted a smile on her face and descended to cheers. It looked like all of Odessen was there on the airfield, and she saw the holo cams hovering. She had already told Devin and Maura that she wouldn't speak, but she did wave as she made her way into the hangar where her detail waited. She walked through the base to cheers there and out into the courtyard. Festivities were in full force as she made her way to Devin and Maura, who both hugged her hard. She almost teared up then, but pushed her emotions down and forced a swallow around the lump in her throat.
"Welcome home," Maura said in her ear, and Miriah nodded. It was home, and shew as grateful that she was there to celebrate with the people of Odessen. There would be more battles, she was sure, but she would leading the Alliance, not fighting. I think I can live with that, Miriah thought.