Miriah stared out of her office, not seeing anything. It had been a week since she had returned to Odessen without Corso, and she finally was sleeping. Exhaustion ruled her days and nights, and finally her body had relented. Now, she felt dazed. Like she was moving out of sync with everything and everyone else. "Commander," Lana said and Miriah startled and turned to her friend.
"What?" she asked, her eyes wide. Lana felt her heart go out to Miriah, and sat down across the desk.
"You okay?" Lana asked softly. "Of course, you're not, but you should give yourself a break. Maybe go home early?"
Miriah snorted. "And do what? Try to watch something on the holo? I'm so tired I'm afraid to play with the children." She stretched her arms over her head and felt herself go dizzy. "Besides, you need to be at home."
"I needed to start back part time," Lana said. "I love being here again. Jaren isn't too much of a distraction, is he?"
"Of course not, I love having him here." Miriah closed her eyes and let her head rest on the tall back of the chair.
"How are you, really, Miriah?" Lana dared to ask, her concern for the situation far too great to just let it drop.
"I'm still stunned, for lack of a better word. I feel like I'm just sleepwalking through things, and when Corso calls, he looks like he used to look after working on the ranch all day. Why isn't he upset? Was it really that easy to just leave?" Miriah felt her eyes burn with tears and let them trace down her cheeks. If this carried on over time, she'd just wither away into nothing. Her clothing was already too big, her pants held up with a pin.
"Go get a massage. That would relax you, then go home to that beautiful tub and soak," Lana said, picking up the carrier with the baby fast asleep inside. "I'm going home now. Maura has the office, and Devin is here."
"That actually is a sound plan," Miriah said, pushing herself up from the chair. The detail, alerted by her movement, stood ready, and escorted her underneath the main base.
Aric watched his sister in law as she made her way to get a massage, and sighed. Her posture looked defeated, he thought, and wondered again why Corso had taken such a divisive action. He already knew how angry Devin was, and Logan just felt torn. We need to get her on an even keel, he mused. Taking his datapad from his pocket, he sent a quick message to Maura, and her response was equally fast. With a grin on his face, he headed to the cantina. We'll get Miriah to smile, he thought.
Corso sat heavily on a nearby bale of hay. He had just assisted with the birth of three calves, and he'd forgotten how much work it was. They had plenty of staff to do it, he told himself, but he just couldn't not help. Besides, what else would he do? He knew there was always work on the ranch, but it wasn't as fulfilling as it used to be. He took his time going up to the house and when he was on the deck, he sat at one of the tables and took off his boots. It was still cool on the rolling grasslands of the ranch, and he could feel the bite of the air on his feet as he shuffled inside. It had gotten so hard to reach Miriah lately that he figured he'd just stay up until he knew she'd be in bed. Hmm, he thought. Miriah in bed. He felt his body respond as he thought of her, her eyes half closed and her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Sighing , he pulled open the cooler and looked, finally taking some leftovers out to warm for dinner. He built the fire up as his food heated, and let himself miss his wife. Her smell, her presence. He missed seeing her first thing in the morning and when she finally slowed down at the end of her day. He ached to hold her, to smooth her long, ebony hair and feel her relax against him. When his food was warm, he took it to the large pillows in front of the fire, and almost fell asleep there in the warmth.
Miriah enjoyed the kneading of her tight muscles, and when she was dressed again, she had the detail take her home. Following Lana's advice, she went straight to the large tub, filling it with water so hot, steam rose from the surface. Dumping in some bath salts, she slid into the water and instantly felt relaxed. I should have done this sooner, she told herself, resting her head on a rolled towel. She started to think about Corso, but forced herself to push him from her mind, like she'd been doing all day. When the water cooled, she stood and dressed in soft layers, pulling socks onto her feet. She was settled on the sofa when the door chimed and Aric and Maura came in, their arms full of food bags. "What are you two doing?" she asked.
"Bringing food. You have to eat, Mir. But you look content, at least." Maura had been worried about her sister for days, since she'd returned to Odessen, really. "And we brought some good stuff."
"All your favorites, Mir. Let's just sit in here," Aric said, pulling containers from the bags and placing them on the low table in front of the sofa.
"Smells delicious," Miriah said, and found she was ravenous. They chatted and ate, and when they were done, Miriah felt cared for.
Devin hesitated, but finally hit the frequency for the ranch house. Only a few chimes later, his father appeared in the center of the holo. "Dev," Corso said. "How are things?"
"How do you expect them to be? Tense, and sad. We miss you, Dad. And I'm still angry about all of this." Devin tried to calm his emotions, but it was hard when Corso was in front of him.
"I know, son. I wish it could be different," Corso said, bowing his head.
"It could be different, Dad. You just need to get the next transport home." Devin had searched his own heart, and knew that his dad had a good reason to force this change, but he didn't have to like it. "The kids are all asking for you. Lucas is crawling everywhere, James is doing great at the Temple. Declan and Merida ask for you every day."
"It's killing me to be here, Dev. You have no idea. But the next mission is surely around the corner, and we'll have to see how that goes. I do want to come back, but the way your mom has been since Carrick, she may not want me back." Corso knew it was a risk. Miriah was fiercely independent and giving her the opportunity to get over missing him could bite him in the ass. Still, he knew that if she changed her behavior when it came to missions, and that kept her safe, it would be worth it. Devin sighed and rubbed his face.
"She's stubborn," is all Devin said, and Corso nodded. How well he knew that trait in Miriah, he chuckled to himself.
"I love you, Dev. All of you. Hug the babies for me, will you?" Corso's voice was soft with emotion, and Devin swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat.
"I will. You still calling Mom all the time?"
"I am. Was about to call her when you came through." Corso had been waiting for a good time.
"Okay then, I'll do what I can to keep Mom going. She's finally sleeping," he saw Corso wince at that, "and Uncle Aric and Aunt Maura were going over there tonight to feed her."
"Sounds like everyone's rallied around then," Corso remarked, and felt a little sorry for himself. "That's good. She needs all of you."
"We need you, too, Dad."
"I'll be there again," Corso said, and saw Devin slowly nod. "Until then, just know I love you all."
Devin waved as he disconnected the call. Mia had insisted he'd feel better if he talked to his dad, and he couldn't say she was wrong. He looks as lost as Mom does, he thought, and turned to find his way home.
Logan had the late watch, and he saw his brother as Devin left the secure area. He could see the wisdom in Corso's move, but he hated it. Hated seeing his family torn apart, and hated seeing his mom so sad. He kicked the edge of the huge map table in the war room, and immediately regretted it, limping the rest of the way around the patrol area. Maybe I just need to jump on a ship and go to Dantooine, have it out with Dad, he thought. But he knew this was between his parents, and nothing he did would solve it. Blowing out a breath, he slowly made his rounds, his heart with his parents.
Caly had been moody since her father had called, and had made a point of hugging her mom every day since Miriah had returned. She hadn't been cooking for her since Miriah said there was no need to make anything when it was just her at the apartment, but Caly hated the idea that her mom might be hungry. So she'd decided to cook at her place and take things to her parent's apartment. Torian had been the recipient of lavish meals since, things that worked out well in larger recipes. Caly had packed her mom's fridge with dishes and today, had decided to let her catch up since space was getting short. Tonight, she'd cooked just for her and Torian, and had set their table with the dishes that he'd brought from Mandalore, with a beautiful table cloth and a colorful bouquet in the center, candles around it. When Torian got home, his first thought was that he'd forgotten an important date, but for the life of him he couldn't think of anything. Caly met him with a hug and kiss. "What's all this, love?" he asked her.
"I don't ever want to have any ill feeling between us, and thought we could have a beautiful meal and talk about how the past year has gone. It's almost our anniversary," she reminded him.
"Caly, sweetheart. I would tell you if there was something wrong, but I have no complaints." He let her lead him to the table where she lit the candles. "Do you have something bothering you?"
"No, nothing. Still, it's really pretty, and makes me feel like a real adult, you know?" He pulled her into his lap and kissed her then, and they ate much later, when the candles were almost gone.
Miriah pulled the soft throw around her on the sofa and sighed, closing her eyes. She was full and drifting, her mind blessedly still, when the chime on the holo sounded. She'd avoided talking to Corso the last three times he'd called, and this time she relented, pressing the button to receive the call. "Hey, darlin'," came Corso's drawl, seconds before his image flickered in the bluish light. "You look peaceful."
"I am. You look tired," she observed, and saw him relax.
"Calves being born all over the place," he explained. "I've been worried that you didn't want to hear from me."
"There are times I wonder if I do. I miss you the next second. This is so weird," Miriah replied, and saw the longing in Corso's gaze.
"I know, I feel the same way." Corso shuffled around and drew close to the camera. "I wish I could hold you, darlin'. Just feel you in my arms. I want it so much."
"Come home, Cor. Please." Miriah sat up and Corso realized she had been sleeping on the sofa.
"You're not sleeping in bed?" he asked, and saw her shake her head.
"I can't. Not without you," she told him and he felt his heart sink.
"It'll be over soon. I know it. You'll get a call about something crazy, and if you can hand it off to someone else, then I'll know that you heard me."
"Then let's hope it comes soon." Miriah had drawn her blank mask over her face, and Corso knew she was done with the conversation portion of their evening.
"I love you, Mir. Take care of yourself, okay?" He saw her nod and pressed the button to end the call, taking a long pull of his beer. It took him several minutes to realize she hadn't said she loved him, and tried to remember the last time he'd heard those words from her. He made his way to his bed, his heart heavy, forcing himself to leave her alone and not call back. For the first time since she'd begged him to come to Odessen on the ship, he wondered if he'd done the right thing. If the words he'd said to Devin, about Miriah deciding she didn't need him anymore, might be more right than wrong. It was a long time before his thoughts let him sleep.
Magdalane had a force bond with both her sister and brother in law, from healing them over the years. As such, she knew that they were both hurting, both needing the other. Since she had lost Felix, she had not allowed herself to fully feel things, up until a couple of weeks ago. Tonight, she let their pain and anguish wash over her, and felt her own heart break for her sister. Miriah is only being herself, she thought. Corso wants to change one behavior, but he's going to end up changing her personality, I'm afraid. She made her way to bed, only to spring up and pace, hoping to figure out a way to bring them back together before things had gone too far.