A week later, John still had that strange, lingering feeling. He'd returned home six days ago. Lin had insisted on dropping him off on the way to SPR. It had still felt too soon to part from his omega, but he knew it was what John wanted. Once John had entered his apartment, it had felt just a little colder than before. He'd shrugged it off and turned on the heater before taking a long shower, washing the final traces of the heat from his skin. He'd huddled in his robe watching TV for a while before curling up with a book. He still didn't feel right. It was like something was missing, but nothing had changed.

The feeling chased him all week, especially when he was alone in his apartment. He hadn't seen Lin since he'd been dropped off, which wasn't unusual. He'd taken to avoiding him between heats, and he didn't feel any differently this time. The thought of socialising with him on a normal level was a little difficult before, but now it was virtually impossible. How could he talk normally with him? He'd seen him at his worst. He'd bent and caressed his body into more positions than he could count. Some of them he didn't even know how he'd managed without snapping him in half. He didn't think of himself as flexible. Is this how it will be forever? Hiding from him for three weeks, and being at his mercy for the other? That wasn't any way to live.

John sighed as he headed to the church. He had yet to find his answer for why this had happened. He'd thought about it, but he couldn't see a reason for it. What could he possibly learn or do as an omega that he couldn't have done as a beta? If there was some grand plan in place, then he couldn't see it. He knew many people outside his faith would likely put it down to bad luck or fate or just one of those things. What makes me so special that it couldn't have just been an accident? But…that suggests God makes mistakes, and I don't think he does…There must be a reason, so why can't I see it?

"Father Brown," Kasuyama greeted kindly as he walked into the church, seemingly in a daze as he started heading down the aisle out of habit. John paused mid-step, looking sheepish as he came to a halt. Kasuyama's aged face softened as he recognised the far-off look on John's face. "Something on your mind?" It didn't take a genius to see that John was distracted. He'd been that way, on and off, for the past two months, and with good reason. The troubling thing was that he didn't seem to be adjusting overly well. To his knowledge, he was still avoiding his alpha and neglecting his heat cycles. That wasn't good for his mental or physical health.

"Nothing more than usual…I still haven't found an answer yet," John replied, accepting Kasuyama's offer of a seat. He sat on the edge of the nearest pew, and Kasuyama took the seat opposite. He nodded his understanding. It could be frustrating, searching for signs and answers. It also took time. Often a lot of time. John had grown impatient with the change. It wasn't entirely surprising. Alphas and omegas felt things far more intensely than betas. They were sensitive.

"There's no rush. The answer you seek could take many years to become clear." John nodded his agreement, though he was quietly frustrated. Being an omega had eroded his gentle patience somewhat. He was more impulsive than before. Jittery. Nervous. Vulnerable, and somewhat short-tempered. "Perhaps there is a role that only you can fulfil…something that needs your unique touch." John couldn't imagine what that could be. He was only human, and not at all special.

"I suppose I'll keep my eyes open." John sighed inwardly at his lack of progress. Was he letting God down in some way? Was there an obvious sign that he just hadn't noticed? Surely, Kasuyama would have noticed if it was that obvious.

"Tell me honestly, are you adjusting to the change?" John almost cringed at the question. The situation was unusual, possibly even unique. John hadn't had any preparation or period of adjustment before his transformation from celibate beta to mated omega. This could be considered a blessing and a curse. On the plus side, he hadn't had to weather his heats alone. Someone was there to look after him. Someone he'd considered a friend. On the flip side, he hadn't been given the choice and had been bound forever against his will. The new omega personality was clearly at odds with his own inner thought processes.

"I-I don't know…Perhaps I'm not." John turned in his pew to fold his arms and lean on the seat in front. Kasuyama watched quietly as John's forlorn blue eyes peered up towards the altar at the front. They traced the delicate wooden carvings along the back wall and lingered on the large cross. He was clearly lost.

"Why do you feel that way?" Kasuyama asked in his usual gentle tone, watching John's cheeks flush as he wondered how much he should say out loud. "Father Brown, I am well into my fifties. I can assure you it won't be anything I haven't heard before." John supposed that was true. As a priest, his congregation would flock to him with all sorts of personal issues and confessions. Even John had heard a few things that had made him blush bright red.

"It's just…I don't know how to face him. When I'm in heat, we…do things…and when I'm not, I can't bear to see his face. I barely even know him, and yet he's seen me, touched me, at my most vulnerable…I don't-I-I can't deal with it!" John confessed, speaking quietly as he shifted his gaze to the floor. His body cried out for Lin's touch in a way that was at odds with his inner thoughts. His heart was forming a deeper attachment to a man who was basically a stranger until a few short months ago. He didn't have the same regular contact with him as he did Mai and Naru. He'd probably spent a total of three months in Lin's company since they'd met. If that. It was enough to say he liked him well enough, and to form a bond of trust and respect between them, but to suddenly find himself in this position was totally unexpected. He'd been claimed as a mate. A lover. They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together.

"John…This man is your mate. To desire him is perfectly natural. To shun him in this way is…unhealthy. For both of you. Listen to your omega. It is a part of you. Don't think of your bond as an obstacle to be overcome, or a chain that binds you. It is a bond forged with friendship and affection. Don't be afraid to explore new boundaries, and deepen your connection…He is a good man." Kasuyama seemed absolutely certain of that, but John was unsure how he could possibly know that. What he said was likely true though. John did see his bond as something forced that tied him to Lin against his will. It wasn't an easy thing, though, to turn around and accept that he was mated. He was still finding it hard to fully believe he was no longer a priest. Luckily, the church was still treating him as one. His rent was still paid, and he was still given work to complete. One thing rang true though. Lin hadn't done this to trap him. He'd mated him to help him.

"What should I do?" He was honestly unsure where he should start. It wasn't like he'd ever pursued anyone before. He'd attended an all-boys beta school, and spent much of that time alone, focused on his prayers. In the church, he'd shunned physical intimacy and focused on his devotion to God. That's what had made him happy. It still made him happy.

"You don't need to do anything special…Simply spend time with him. Interact with him. Allow yourself to feel and explore new feelings. Don't hide away," Kasuyama advised, watching John's cheeks flush. That was easier said than done. He let out a sigh as he felt his omega stir at the idea. It wanted him to spend more time with Lin. Even now, it was quietly pining for Lin's alpha.

"How do I know the feelings are really mine, and not something forced by our bond?" It was something he'd grappled with since the day it had happened. He hadn't even explored his new situation when he'd been forced into the role of mate and lover. He looked up as a gentle hand rested on his shoulder.

"Anything you feel comes from your heart…You and your omega are one being. Trust it." John found that hard to do. These urges and instincts were new. He knew his omega wasn't a separate person or personality, but it was currently at odds with his logical mind. He wasn't used to giving control away like this. Even now, he could feel the omega within pawing the edge of his consciousness needily, quietly pining for Lin's touch. His scent. His voice. He couldn't fully relax without it. "There's no need to rush…You have a lifetime to adjust to these new feelings…Perhaps you should start with something small," Kasuyama added as he got to his feet. He had work to do, and other people would come to seek his guidance. John thanked him and spent a few more minutes thoughtfully staring at the altar.

Getting to his feet, he decided to walk the streets for a while. The weather was quite cool that day, so it was nice. The spring breeze would soon give way to summer heat. A heat in summer…That sounds like torture. His body could barely cope with it in the first place. He was so lost in thought that he wasn't paying attention to where his feet were leading him, not until he caught Lin's scent on the breeze. He raised his head in surprise and stopped dead as he saw him barely a few feet away. Lin seemed just as surprised.

"John…did you need something?" It wasn't like John to turn up outside the office like this. They hadn't called a meeting, and as far as he knew, Mai wasn't expecting him. Mai always let them know if their co-workers were going to drop by, mainly so that they could find a task to occupy themselves with. Neither Lin nor Naru were very good at social gatherings. Lin especially liked to know if John was coming so that he could rein in his alpha. His first instinct was always to hold and nuzzle his omega. It was something he had to hold back for John's comfort. His jaw tightened as his alpha urged him closer. It wanted to check on its omega, to make sure he was alright.

"Uh-no, I was-I-I just walked here," John stammered awkwardly, shoving his hands in the pockets of his worn jeans. He was wearing a long-sleeved white top and a loose fitting blue hoody, which was unzipped in the light breeze. He couldn't quite meet his alpha's eye, especially since his inner omega was making it hard to stay in place. It desperately wanted to launch itself at Lin and accept any kisses and caresses that were offered. His skin heated as he scented Lin's chilli-chocolate scent on the breeze. It was a happy scent, filled with silent longing.

"From where? Your apartment?" It would be a long walk from there, especially after his most recent heat. John was looking slightly thinner, and less rested, than the last time he'd seen him. Is he eating properly? Is he sleeping? Is he taking care of himself? Lin allowed his alpha instincts to carry him forward. He'd rested a hand on John's head before he could stop himself and was stroking his hair affectionately, though John hadn't recoiled yet. His alpha almost purred at the realisation.

"N-no…the church…" John replied quietly, cheeks flushing as his omega side urged him to lean further into Lin's caress. I'm not a cat! John was mortified as his head tilted slightly. He looked away as Lin looked down in surprise, having felt the increased pressure on his palm. His hand stilled, tilting John's head back to look up at him. John was almost swept away by the warmth held in that gaze. His skin tingled as the moment stretched. It almost felt as if they were both moving closer.

"Would you like to come for lunch?" A polite refusal hung on the tip of his tongue, but then he faltered. This seemed like just the opportunity Father Kasuyama had suggested. Lunch. It was public, less intimate, and allowed them time that they wouldn't usually have shared before. It'll be like a…date…John finally nodded his agreement. Though his expression remained stoic as usual, John caught the glimmer of excitement in Lin's dark eyes as he led the way down the street. He'd already pulled out his phone to let Naru know he was on his own to deal with Mai for a while. She was simply bubbling today. Naru was in hell. "Was it a service?" He was sure churches only held service on Sundays.

"I was just seeking some guidance…" His response prickled Lin's instincts slightly. Who could John possibly go to that could help more than his alpha? Who was John seeing? Was it a regular meeting? Lin stopped himself with a pinched of his brow. John had always had his own life, and it had never bothered him before. Of course, he needed guidance. He needed to adjust to a whole new way of life. He shouldn't be upset that his omega didn't come to him, but it did sting. I'm likely part of the problem. He felt a pang at the unpleasant reminder. "How's the office? Any upcoming cases I should know about?" John let Lin fill him in on the normal weekday things that had happened. There wasn't much, and it wasn't important. So far, they didn't have a new case. Naru had turned them all down or else solved them while sitting at his desk. Several of them weren't supernatural at all. It was easy for him to root those out.

"I don't want to press you, but have you been eating?" Lin asked as they entered a diner and sat at one of the smaller tables that littered the small restaurant. John paused at the question, wondering when his last meal had been. Honestly, although he knew he was eating, he wasn't keeping track. He'd been distracted since returning to his apartment, and that strange feeling had somewhat disrupted his appetite. Funnily enough right now, with Lin, he was starving. Lin sensed his omega's needs and pushed a menu across. "Two courses, minimum," he said firmly, watching John's cheeks flush in displeasure.

"I've been eating…" he replied defensively, though Lin could pick up from his unsaid words and the obvious hunger in his aura that he hadn't been eating anywhere near enough. Lin sighed fondly as he looked down at the list of various sandwiches. He wasn't sure what had drawn him into yet another Western restaurant, but John seemed happy enough as he perused the menu.

"Clearly not enough…You're almost skin and bone," he chided, watching John tug the hoodie a little tighter around himself. He hadn't really noticed it himself, but maybe he was getting a little thinner than usual. He probably hadn't recovered from that first heat two months ago. "You need to build your strength for the end of the month…" Heats were still a sore subject for John. He dropped his gaze and nodded obediently. Lin was only being sensible and looking out for him.

"I know…"

"If you're having trouble, I can make up a schedule for you…I used to do the same for Naru. He tends to take care of it himself now, but I'm not out of practice." John nodded quietly, though it felt like he was giving away part of himself. He would literally be allowing his alpha to control his diet. It felt like another step towards becoming a slave of sorts. How long would it be before Lin was controlling his working schedule, or his free time, or his wardrobe, until there was nothing of him left at all? That's a silly thing to worry about. Lin…wouldn't do that. He was overcome with a sense of certainty as he looked up at Lin's searching gaze.

"That would probably be best." He was a lot more disorganised now than he had been before. He'd already proven somewhat that he neglected his eating habits. Lin ordered for them when the waitress came, which John didn't really think about until afterwards. The young woman had barely paid attention to him at all. She'd automatically deferred to the alpha at the table. I suppose it is quite normal for alphas to be in control…

"What about your house? Do you have food stocked up?" John almost flinched at the question. Lin's brow furrowed worriedly as John looked away. There were likely a few tinned foods in the cupboard, but he couldn't actually remember the last time he'd gone to the store for fresh food.

"I haven't had time to go shopping lately." He knew Lin was sighing on the inside. He was beginning to feel bad. He'd wanted to get to know Lin a little, but so far the conversation had been focused on him and his bad living habits. Lin let the topic rest, sensing his desire to move on. But move on to what? Lin gazed at him searchingly. They really didn't have much to talk about besides that. They hadn't really talked about idle things before. "That book I was reading…I didn't expect you to like romance," John supplied eventually, watching an unmistakable flash of pain spark in Lin's gaze for an instant.

"Ah, those…They're not mine." He did a good job of keeping his voice perfectly level. If John hadn't been so attuned to him as his omega, he likely wouldn't have noticed the unmistakable hint of grief underneath those words. He fell quiet. He'd been similarly awkward about him borrowing that top.

"Oh…I thought Naru would have kept things like that," John replied without thinking, suddenly feeling like he'd walked into a minefield of emotions. He'd almost hurt Lin with that last comment, though Lin was wise enough to understand what he meant. Naru had been Gene's twin, and John knew nothing of his relationship with Gene. That they'd grown up together, and that he'd more or less raised them, was a fact he tended to keep to himself. There was no reason that John would know.

"Naru has his keepsakes…I have mine." John bit his lip and nodded as he lowered his head. What he'd thought would be an innocent topic to change the subject had darkened the atmosphere even further. I suppose it's to be expected. Lin lived with them after all. They're probably like brothers to him…Something in the air told him otherwise. There was a whole shelf of books dedicated to Gene, and a whole drawer of clothes that would never be worn. Who knows what else was stashed away. John was relieved when the food arrived as a distraction, but once again, he'd somewhat lost his appetite. Lin was almost gentle as he reached across and rested a hand on his cheek, drawing his blue eyes upwards. "What's the matter? You were starving just a few minutes ago." Lin's tone was gentle and coaxing. His spiced scent caressed him in encouragement, soothing his restless omega.

"I don't know…I just lost my appetite…" He didn't intend the food to go to waste. It would just take him longer to get through it. Luckily, there was a small break between and the main courses weren't brought until the smaller starters had been finished. John had chosen a bowl of vegetable soup to start, with a ham and cheese sandwich. It seemed like a meal on its own, but Lin had insisted on two courses. He had a cheese burger coming up next. He almost felt childish considering Lin had started with breaded mushrooms and was moving on to a large steak. John hadn't even been able to resist ordering a strawberry milkshake while Lin kept to bitter tea. I don't know if I can stomach any more…He was wary of how long it would take him to get through it, but he knew Lin would wait with him and ensure he ate every bite.

Lin watched as John shifted his attention to his milkshake. He idly twisted the glass on the table, examining the thick creamy pink drink. He leaned forward and wrapped his lips around the metal straw, chewing and toying with the tip between his lips. The sight would have been alluring if it weren't so familiar. Gene had favoured vanilla, but the way he teased the straw was just the same. It was actually one of the few quirks Naru shared with his brother, much as he'd deny it. Lin's jaw tightened as he watched John slowly draw back, his blue eyes closing as he slowly licked the tip of the straw. That was new. Lin's dark eyes sharpened. He watched, transfixed as a small bead of pink formed on John's tongue before he drew back. Lin swallowed as a sense of want flooded his senses.

"Sorry, did you say something?" John asked with a blush. He looked up to find Lin's eyes fixed on him with an almost predatory air. Lin coughed and looked away, raising his cup elegantly to his lips.

"Not at all." He began to eat his food as soon as it was put down in front of him. He kept an eye on John while he ate, but tried not to drift. Rather than picking up the burger, John carefully cut into it with a knife and fork. How he still managed to dab tomato sauce on his lips, Lin didn't know, but his alpha side was almost purring at the excuse to lean forward and touch his mate's lower lip with his thumb. "Ketchup," he excused quietly as he licked it clean. A delightful shade of pink graced John's cheeks as he noted the heat in Lin's gaze.

"Ah! Sorry," he apologised sheepishly as he wiped his lips with the napkin. They lapsed into silence again. Do we really have so little to talk about? Are we so different that we can't find some middle ground? How are we supposed to live like this? John's eyes darted across the table every so often. He supposed they both had a vague idea of their history. Lin was originally from China, and had disliked the Japanese at first. He'd been raised mostly in Britain with Naru and Gene, experimenting with dark magic from a very young age. He had five Shiki. Spirits that were bound to him, and he to them. He was extremely skilled in various spiritual arts. So much so that John felt he hadn't even scratched the surface of his capabilities.

John, on the other hand, was quite normal. He'd grown up in a regular, perhaps slightly conservative, family in Australia. He'd joined the church at a young age due to his grandmother taking him to services. He'd fallen in love with God and joined the priesthood. As part of his duties as an exorcist, he was sent to spread the word, and had been given the option of Japan. It had seemed exotic without being too far from home, so he'd agreed. Within his first year in the country, he'd met Mai and Naru on their first case and joined SPR.

"You're worrying about something." John flushed as he shook his head in denial. Lin gave him a look. He knew Lin could smell it on him and feel it through their bond. He didn't want to talk about it. It was probably just something that would take time. Rome wasn't built in a day…Though he couldn't help his mind wandering to other great romances like Romeo and Juliet. Part of him wanted that innocent rush that he'd always assumed came with first love, but with Lin, it was much darker. Maybe it was because of how they'd started, but when he looked at Lin, all he thought about were twisted limbs, desperate fingers, stolen kisses, and searing heat. It sent tingles darting across his skin and heat swirling in the pit of his stomach.

He wasn't sure how much of his feelings that Lin could pick out, but his gaze was certainly intense as he examined him. Lin knew that they were very different. Different seemed to be his type. He had the feeling that, despite their differences, they weren't incompatible. If that were the case, he would probably never have bowed to his instincts and mated him. He also doubted that the sex would be so intense. He'd never felt such searing desire before, though that was likely down to their bond. He'd mated John immediately, forever tying them together.

They continued to eat. Minutes slipped by. Moments withered down. I should say something…I should do something…John was overcome with a sense of desperation, but he was at a loss as to what he should do. It had been so easy for him to give advice to those seeking help. He'd lost count of the young teens who'd come to him, deeply embarrassed about their first love issues. He'd told countless girls to be brave. To strike up conversation. To find a common interest. Why is it so much harder now?

"John, you're stressing yourself." Lin was quietly worried that John was going to hyperventilate. His foot was tapping nervously beneath the table, fingers twitching as he toyed with his glass, teeth slowly working the metal straw. His cheeks dusted pink at the warning. Lin almost sighed as he watched him draw back. His eyes were once again drawn to his tongue as it flicked and teased the straw. "Are you coming back to the office? I'm sure Mai would like to see you."

"I suppose I could stop by." John was quietly pleased that he would have longer to try again. There had to be something they could talk about. Lin took care of the bill. He insisted it was tradition, since he was older and in a full-time job with a senior position. John looked at his feet as he thought about that. At the moment, he was still volunteering at the church, but it was getting towards the time he should think about getting a new job. I wonder what I'm even qualified for…He was at least fluent in Japanese, so that wouldn't be an issue.

Mai greeted them brightly when they returned, and Lin quietly retreated to his office to work. Naru stepped in briefly with a file, mainly so that he could greet John and berate Mai about not working. Mai's smile was blinding as usual as she skipped off to make tea for everyone, grateful for the help as John joined her. She took his job situation under advisement, saying that she'd keep her eye open for him. When the tea was ready, John offered to take Lin's. He knew Mai would want to deliver Naru's, despite knowing he would gruffly take it and complain about her level of work.

"Lin, I have your tea," John greeted as he pushed the office door open. His breath caught a little as he entered the enclosed space that was saturated with Lin's scent. It didn't help that Lin was leaning back in his chair looking languidly over his shoulder. The first two buttons of his shirt had been popped in the heat to reveal his defined clavicle. His shirt sleeves were now rolled up to his elbows while he toyed with a Parker pen in his right hand. Lin's lips softened slightly, though he didn't smile.

"Thank you." John padded over and placed the cup at his elbow. He drew back, wondering if he should simply turn around and leave. Lin was clearly busy. His pen had already returned to the page, filling the room with quiet scratching. "Ah, John. Could you hand me a file? Number three-six-seven-two." John hesitated halfway to the door. He looked around and saw a couple of tall filing cabinets.

"Sure…" He opened the first drawer and perused the numbers. He soon found what he was looking for in the bottom drawer. "Sorry it took so long," he apologised as he appeared at Lin's elbow. Lin barely spared a glance as he plucked the file from John's gentle fingers. Once again, John turned to leave, and once again Lin called out for a file. John crouched once more, flicking through the cardboard dividers. The third time it happened, he started to think that perhaps Lin shared his feelings. They had to connect somehow.

"Take this one back and bring seven-three-nine-six," Lin instructed as he handed a file back. John nodded and obediently searched through the drawers. He took his time, glancing over his shoulder every so often. Lin didn't hurry him or even look back. John's fingers finally found the file, and he hurried over to Lin's side.

"What are you working on?" he asked curiously, seeing that he was indeed using the files.

"It's mostly finances," Lin replied simply, his hand reaching up to grasp John's slender wrist. Both of them seemed surprised by the action. Their eyes met as they both froze. Lin eyed the file, his chair turning slightly. John said nothing as he stood frozen to the spot. It wasn't his heat, but Lin's touch was sending tingles up his arm. Lin plucked the file free with his other hand and laid it on the desk. He hesitated a moment before tugging John a little closer. John soon stumbled into his lap. "For each case I have to do an itemised list of costs…Food, drink, petrol, accommodation, and any equipment that gets damaged…" he explained as he swivelled back to the desk.

John sat stiffly, resting on his knee like a child as Lin wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned in beside him. He was so tall that his head easily rested against his shoulder, and his arms were long enough to reach around him and pick up his pen once more. John's foot started tapping. He was nervous. His omega, on the other hand, was purring. He blushed and let out a small gasp as Lin's free hand slowly came to rest on his thigh. He shifted his eyes to look at him, but Lin was completely focused on the papers on the desk.

"Add these numbers for me…" He didn't miss the shiver of surprise that ran through John's body as the warm breath hit his ear. John stammered a little as he grabbed the calculator, fumbling with nervous fingers as he did as he was told. Lin hummed softly in agreement as he copied the result onto his page before lapsing into silence once more. He tilted his head and nuzzled John's shoulder. His spiced scent drifted up to John's nose, almost forcing his body to relax. His omega wanted him to curl up and wrap his arms around Lin's neck so that he could bury his face in his shoulder and breathe more of his scent. John resisted the urge. He was embarrassed to have had such a humiliating desire. "And these…" Lin instructed once more as he pointed at a new set of numbers.

"Are your legs…That is-I-I'm a little heavy," John stammered as he did as he was told. Lin's hawklike eyes copied the numbers without missing a beat. The hand resting on John's outer thigh had started wandering, idly pressing circles into the soft flesh beneath the rough material. Lin nuzzled him again, releasing more of that captivating scent. There was an almost sharp edge to his spice.

"You're light as a feather…" He could tell that John weighed far less than he should. His expression softened slightly as he squirmed against his thigh. He released his hold, giving him the option of getting up. John was on his feet in an instant, cheeks flushing as he gripped his hands in front of his crotch. He quickly excused himself, relieved as he pulled the door shut and found Mai bustling around her desk.

"Ah! John! I don't know if it's any use to you, but I found this in the paper," she said brightly as she handed him an ad. It was local work, not far from SPR at all. He raised his eyebrow at the small box. It was for modelling. Me? A model? He was wary as he eyed Mai. She shrugged as she looked through her latest file. "I just thought, you know, you're young, exotic, and really cute. I'm sure you'd be accepted." John's gaze dropped to the angel-winged design. The studio was called Honeyz. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see…