Chapter Thirteen: We Need to Talk
"Have you been working with the exercises I told you to try out?" Olivia asked her patient, who was currently pacing around Olivia's office. She normally didn't allow her patients on the side of the room where her desk was, but Nora just wouldn't sit down. Olivia's attempt to get her to sit had fallen on deaf ears.
Nora was a knew patient of Olivia's. She'd been recommended to Olivia, after Nora spent a few days in the psych ward at the hospital. She'd recently been through a very traumatic event, that lead to a psychotic episode. Nora was in a serious car accident about a month ago, resulting in the death of her husband and unborn baby girl. The stress and trauma from the crash, along with the grief of losing both her husband and unborn child lead her to a psychotic and mental breakdown.
Olivia had only been working with Nora for about a week now, and they were getting nowhere. Nora was an exceptionally difficult patient. As expected, it was hard for her to talk about the crash or her husband or unborn baby as it would be for anyone. Normally Olivia would be able to break her patients and finally get them to open up, but Nora was proving to be the exception.
"Not really." Nora finally answered Olivia's question. She was standing up at Olivia's bookshelf, reading the spines o the books. Anything to avoid talking to Olivia.
Olivia sighed, something she tried not to do when dealing with a patient. "And why not?"
"Because they don't work." Nora spoke with an attitude.
"How do you know they don't work if you won't try them?"
"Because I don't need to play any of your psychobabble games. I'm fine."
"You're not fine Nora. That's why you're in my office now." Nora ignored her. "Are you still having the dreams?" Olivia asked, and once again, Nora ignored her. Now she was walking towards Olivia's desk. She spotted something on Olivia's desk that made her pause.
Olivia normally didn't keep pictures of her family or friends in her office. Her clients didn't need to be privy to anything involving her personal life. Especially not her daughter. And especially not to Nora. But Olivia couldn't help but keep a picture of her baby girl on her desk. If she could, Sophia would be right next to her in the office if it was possible. Instead, she had to settle for the cutest picture of Sophia playing with the sprinklers in the back yard. She was wearing a cute little strawberry themed one piece bathing suit with her wet swimming diaper. She was standing in a blowup pool, spraying Blue with the water hose.
Nora picked up the picture and stared intently at the smiling, chubby baby. "Is she yours?"
Olivia turned to see Nora holding a picture of Sophia, she recognized the frame. "Yes." Olivia answered, calmly making her way over to Nora to take the picture from her.
"What's her name?" Nora asked.
This time it was Olivia who purposely ignored Nora. She wasn't going to tell her Sophia's name. "Let's get back to your session Nora."
"How old is she? She must look like her father, I don't see any resemblance." Nora was still stuck on Sophia and the picture on Olivia's desk.
"Nora-"
"What's her name?" Nora asked again.
"Nora, we're not here to talk about me. This session is for you." Just as Olivia finished talking, the timer went off, signaling the end of the session.
"Oh well look at the time." Nora's attention was still focused on Sophia's picture sitting on the desk. Olivia had become so uncomfortable with Nora staring at her baby's picture, that she put the picture face down on her desk. "I guess I should be going."
"Nora, I know we have a set appointment date and time, but I'd like to see you back here sooner."
Nora shook her head as she gathered her things, which was only a small black bag that didn't look like it even had anything in it. "I don't think that's necessary. I'll see your next time." Nora gave Olivia a smile that rubbed her the wrong way, before she walked out the door. Olivia had never been physically turned off by a patient in a way that frightened her before, but for whatever reason she was slightly frightened by Nora and her behavior.
After Nora left, Olivia felt her stomach began to turn and she quickly rushed to the small bathroom she had in her office. And although it had always been there, she rarely used it and used the one down the hall for whatever reason.
Olivia had just lifted the lid of the toilet, before she began puking up the small lunch she made herself eat earlier. She had a light breakfast that morning, but promptly threw it up before she even left the house. She still wasn't feeling up to eating anything when lunch time came around, but she knew she just couldn't starve herself. So she made herself eat some of the garden salad she had Daniel get her.
Olivia knew why and what was making her sick, but everyone else didn't know. It had only been a short two weeks since she confirmed what she already knew with her doctor. She was now twelve weeks along, and her morning sickness was kicking her ass. She had gotten some pretty hellish morning sickness with her other pregnancies, but nothing like this. And it wasn't just morning sickness. It was afternoon sickness, night sickness and the cycle started over again in the morning.
She'd woken up this morning feeling like complete crap, and not looking too much better. She'd managed to get Sophia bathed and dressed to take to her mother's house. She was in the process of looking for nannies for Sophia, while she was working, but she'd yet to find someone she liked. And until she did, Sophia would be staying with her grandmother during the days.
"Boss lady I have…" Daniel trailed off, when he heard Olivia gagging in the bathroom. He put the papers he'd brought, and walked into the bathroom. The first thing he did was pinch his nose closed to block the foul smell. "Olivia are you alright?" He ran a rag through some cold water and put it on the back of Olivia's neck.
"Yeah I'm fine. I must've eaten something bad for lunch."
"You had a salad." Daniel reminded her. He helped Olivia to her feet when she was ready and back away so she could rinse out her mouth and wash her hands. "No offense, but you look like shit."
"Thank you Daniel." Olivia's makeup had smeared from her watery eyes, her face was pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes from her lack of sleep the past few nights.
"Are you sick honey? Is there a bug going around or something? Because I think you've caught it."
"I'm fine really."
"Maybe you should just take the rest of the day off and start your weekend early. You only have two more patients coming in today. I could reschedule them or see if another doctor has an opening today."
"No, don't do that. I'll be alright." Olivia splashed some more cold water on her face, and when she finally began to feel only slightly better, she walked out the bathroom and headed straight for her desk chair. "Could you find me some tea in the break room?"
"Of course, be right back." Daniel left with a smile, shutting the door on his way out.
Olivia sighed. This pregnancy was already taking a toll on her. She was doing everything the doctor had told her to do, but it seemed every day that passed she felt worse and worse.
And on top of everything else, she had yet to tell Fitz she was even pregnant. She initially didn't plan on telling Fitz at all. Then she realized how ridiculous that was and compromised that she would tell him after her fourteenth week, after she got the cerclage and her chances of miscarriage was reduced. She wanted to spare any unnecessary hurt to him by any means. But now she was having different feelings.
Quinn had been Olivia's support system, because she was the only person other than her doctor who knew she was pregnant. Olivia hadn't told anyone else, and made Quinn promise not to tell anyone either. And as grateful as Olivia was for her friend, she wasn't who she wanted. She wanted Fitz. She wanted to talk to Fitz late at night, when she couldn't sleep. She wanted it to be Fitz who comforted her and reassured her that everything was going to be fine.
After weeks of procrastinating, Olivia finally decided that she was going to tell Fitz about the baby. She was still nervous about what his reaction would be like, but she wasn't going to back down just because she was scared. She planned on calling him later on tonight and asking him to dinner so they could talk. Even feeling like shit, she still didn't trust herself around him, so she was meeting him out in public and not in private. Now all she had to do was stop being a pussy and call the man.
X
Fitz walked into his parent's house later that day. He'd just got off from work and decided to visit his parents for a while. HE was still feeling guilty about not visiting much before Verna died. And although his parents were in excellent health, he didn't want to risk anything. Any day could be their last day together.
When he pulled into the driveway, he wasn't surprised to see his sister's car parked there as well Erika had become clingier to their parents as well. When he walked in the house, he found everyone in the kitchen. His father was frying something in a pan, Erika was clipping some fresh flowers, that she no doubt brought from her shop, and arranging them into a short glass vase. And Carol, who Fitz was shocked to see outside of her of Verna's room, was sitting at the small kitchen table staring out the window with a steaming mug sitting in front of her. Fitz was also surprised that she was dressed and out of the bathrobe she'd been wearing. Her hair was combed and styled in a simple braid, which was way more than she'd been doing to it. Erika must have done her hair.
"Hey FJ." Gerry greeted his only son, he hadn't called him FJ since he as a boy.
"Hey dad." Fitz pat his father's back in passing and kissed Erika's temple. "How she doing today?"
"Better. I got her to shower and get out of that bathrobe, which I am burning by the way. A wash will not save that thing; it smells like rotten booty." Fitz couldn't help but laugh. "And I got her to come downstairs and out of that room. I'm going to try and get her to take a walk with me later, but I'm not too hopeful."
Fitz sighed. He wished he could do more for his mother, he wished anyone could do more for her. But they couldn't perform some miracle and make her not be sad about losing her mother. Like Olivia would say, there was no time limit on a person's grief. It could be years later, and you're were still allowed to grieve for a lost loved one.
Fitz sat in the seat beside his mother. "How you doing mama?" Carol didn't answer, but she did turn towards Fitz and gave him a smile, before she turned back to her window. Fitz knew she was listening to him, so he just kept talking about anything.
He as interrupted by his phone ringing. He took it out his front pocket, and was surprised to see Olivia's name across his screen. Two months of ignoring him, and now she just calls him out the blue. Fitz had half a mind to ignore her call, just to teach her a lesson. But he knew it would hurt him more than her. Because then he would be just going out his mind wondering what she wanted.
"Excuse me mama." Fitz left to the backyard, before he answered the call. "Hello?"
"Fitz? Hey, it- it's Olivia."
"Oh hey Liv." Fitz was trying to play it cool, but inside he was the furthest from cool. "What's up?"
"Um, this is going to sound completely random, but I was- I was wondering if you would meet me for dinner tomorrow." Olivia was talking fast, something she did when she was nervous."
"Dinner?"
"Or lunch, breakfast, a drink anything really. I just need to see you tomorrow-I mean not like that- Not that there's anything wrong with-" Olivia stopped talking, shoved her phone in her pillow and forced herself to calm the hell down. "Listen Fitz we need to talk, I have something I need to discuss with you."
"Something like what?" Fitz had every intention on meeting Olivia anywhere at any time she wanted tomorrow, but he was confused why she was speaking in code almost.
"It's not something I'd like to talk about over the phone. So can you meet me tomorrow? If you can't I get it, I can do the day after tomorrow too. Although it'd have to be after church."
"No no, tomorrow's fine."
"Great, so dinner? Lunch?"
"Dinner's fine."
"Okay, our spot say eight-ish sound good?"
Fitz knew what 'spot' Olivia was talking about. It was a small Italian restaurant they use to go to all the time when they were together. It was their favorite date night restaurant. "Yeah, that sounds good. See you then." Fitz didn't mean to rush her off the phone, but he had. He'd barely given her time to reply, before he hung up the phone. What could be so important? Was all Fitz could think about. It must have been something pretty important for her to call him up to go to dinner. She did say she did want to talk about it over the phone. Oh God, I hope she's alright. Fitz's mind immediately went to the worst scenario. Now that I think about it, she didn't sound too good on the phone. But that could be just exhaustion from having a little one in the house. And Olivia was doing it all by herself. Whatever it was, Fitz would find out tomorrow, he just hoped that it wasn't anything horrible.
X
The next morning, Olivia stood in her closet searching through the expansive mount of clothes she had hanging everywhere. She was trying to get ready for her dinner with Fitz, but she was having troubles finding something to wear. She had already curled her hair in rollers, did her make-up now all she needed to do was find an outfit. She grabbed another dress off the rack and brought it out to Sophia to look at.
"What do you think?" Olivia asked her baby girl, who was sitting on Olivia's bed, biting down on one of her teething rings in a white onesie. Sophia just smiled at her mother. "You said the same thing about the last one. These are too sexy Soph, I'm not trying to be sexy tonight." Sophia just kept smiling at her mother, before she started clapping her hands. It was her new favorite thing to do. "Oh you are just of no help tonight are you?" Olivia tickled her sides, loving the humorous chuckles coming from her baby.
Olivia couldn't believe how big Sophia was getting. It seemed like it was just yesterday when she brought her home from the hospital, and now she was eleven months old, turning a year old in just a matter of weeks. Time was really flying bye. Olivia wasn't sure she loved how fast it was passing. Next thing she knew, her baby would be going off to school. Olivia definitely wasn't ready for that yet.
Olivia took the dress back to her closet, and came out with a long-sleeved, navy blue off the shoulder blouse. She held it up to Soph, and she clapped her hands again. "I think you're right this time baby girl. Now momma has to hurry before she's late." Olivia grabbed a pair of white pants from her closet and quickly got dressed. Rose gold knob earring to match the rose-gold and white flowers on her shirt, with dark beige thick heels and matching purse. She wore light make-up and wore her hair slightly curled with a middle part. She really wasn't trying to overdo it tonight. She wasn't trying to look good for Fitz, although she did look good. Tonight was strictly about telling him about the baby. Nothing else.
Olivia's doorbell rang, and she knew it was Erika coming to watch Sophia while she was gone. Olivia hadn't told her where she was going tonight, and she as keeping it that way. "Alright Soph, let's go let aunt Erika in." Olivia picked Sophia up from the bed, and made her way downstairs to let Erika in. She was officially running late.
"Hey Liv."
"Hey E, sorry but I can't talk, I'm running late." Olivia handed Soph over to Erika and went in search of her car keys.
"Where are you headed tonight anyway?"
"A dinner meeting." Olivia answered vaguely.
"Work?"
"Not exactly." Olivia finally found her car keys in Sophia's playpen, she remembered Soph playing with them earlier. "Mommy loves you." Olivia kissed Sophia's cheek. "And thank you for watching her tonight."
"No problem."
X
Fitz sat at the table in the restaurant waiting for Olivia to arrive. He had no idea, now, why he'd made sure to leave the house with plenty of time to get to the restaurant. Olivia was never on time for anything. He could have finished that episode of Criminal Minds he was watching as he got dressed. He dressed casually in a pair of jeans, a nice button up and suede Oxford shoes.
Fitz was trying to figure out exactly what Olivia wanted. She hadn't spoken to him in two months after their night spent together. And then out of the clear blue sky, she wants to meet him for dinner to 'talk'. Fitz's mind had immediately gone to the worse, and he started to believe something was wrong. She did say it was something she didn't want to talk about over the phone. What if she's sick? Fitz hoped that wasn't the reason. He's just lost his grandmother, he couldn't lose Olivia in the same year too.
Fitz was nursing his first glass of scotch, when he spotted Olivia standing at the Maître D podium at the front of the restaurant. He was sitting by the window, and had a god view of the front door as well as the sidewalk. The first thing he noticed was that she looked tired and worn out, but not in a seriously sick way. He was relieved that perhaps her news wasn't t about her being sick.
The second thing he noticed was, although she did look tired, she still looked unbelievably beautiful. Her skin was glowing, and her hair, that had since grown back to her shoulders, framed her face to accentuate her features. And the best part were the form fitting pants she had on, and sine he didn't see a panty line, he assumed she was wearing one of her many lace thongs. Fitz was getting hard just thinking about her ample behind in the skimpy thong she use to wear.
Fitz had to get himself together before she made her way over to the table. When she was close, Fitz stood to greet her like a gentleman.
"Hello Olivia."
"Hi." Olivia gave him a quick smile, and accepted the half hug and kiss on the cheek Fitz gave her. He just couldn't help himself, but he wished he had, when he got a whiff of her perfume. Fitz held out her chair for her and scooted it in, once she was seated.
"You look great." Fitz complimented her.
"Thank you."
It was quiet for only a few moments before a waiter promptly came over to take Olivia's drink order. Fitz was more than shocked, when Olivia just asked for a glass of water. She always loved a glass of wine with her meals, especially when they were at her favorite Italian restaurant.
"No wine this evening?" Fitz teased.
"No, not this time." Olivia tried to act normal, but she knew Fitz would find it off that she didn't order any wine. She was either that predictable or she had a borderline problem with alcohol.
After ordering their meals, the two talk for a couple of minutes. They talked about anything and a bunch of mundane things. Fitz asked how work was going, Olivia replied fine and in turn asked how his work was going. She asked about Carol, and Fitz let her in on everything going on with his mother. She also asked how he'd been since Verna's passing and he simply relieved, fine. That's not what he wanted to talk about. None of this was. All he wanted to know, was what was so important that she called him here.
Olivia could tell by his face, that this wasn't the conversation he wanted to have. "But I guess that's not what you want to talk about."
"No, not really." Fitz chuckled. "I mean we don't talk for months, and then all of a sudden you call and want to have dinner. Forgive me for being a bit confused, but what was so important that couldn't be said over the phone."
Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but hen closed it. She did it two more times, shifting in her chair, trying to decide exactly how to break the news to Fitz.
"What is it Olivia?" Fitz prodded, hoping she would answer but she didn't. "You aren't sick are you?"
"What? No." Olivia immediately answered, but it was kind of a lie. She was feeling sick right now, but not because of anything life threatening like he was thinking. "I'm fine. I mean I'm not fine, I'm exhausted and I haven't slept in days. But that's just the joys of being a mother right."
"How is Sophia doing?" Fitz asked, because he genuinely cared.
"She's great. Perfect really. She learned a knew work recently, ball, so now anytime she sees anything spherical or round, she yells ball. It kind of cute, until she tries to throw an orange around. But, as much as I love to talk about my angel, that's not why I asked you here." Olivia sat up in her seat, playing with her fingers in her hand. Olivia hadn't been this nervous to tell Fitz she was pregnant since her first pregnancy. She'd been nervous, but excited to see what his reaction would be. But this time around, she was just nervous, borderline scared, there was no excitement.
"Fitz I, I don't know how to tell you this. But before I do, I want you to know that I didn't plan this, this wasn't something I did on purpose. It was an accident. I won't call it a mistake, because I don't really regret what happened between us…" Olivia was rambling out word vomit. She couldn't get her words together fast enough to suit how they were jumbled in her mind. She thought it might just be best to rip the band-aid off, as her grandmother use to say. Olivia took a deep breath and utter the short three words.
"Fitz I'm pregnant."
Olivia could tell the exact moment her words truly clicked in Fitz's mind. His entire demeanor changed. His back instantly straightened, his breathing picked up and his face turned into stone. No other emotions played from his face, he didn't flinch.
"Fitz?" Olivia called out to him, to snap his out of his shock. "Fitz aren't you going to say anything?"
After a rather lengthy pause, Fitz finally spoke. "Is it mine?"
Olivia sighed, and calmed her rage. "Seriously, why is that always the male first response? You know what, I'm going to give you the benefit out the doubt, because you're clearly still in shock. And yes Fitz, of course it's yours. Why would I be telling you if it wasn't?"
"Are you sure?"
"Excuse me? What kind of woman do you take me for? What do you think that I'm just out here sleeping with every man I lay eyes on? Oh you know what Fitz, there's a chance that busboy over there could be the father."
"Will you relax?" Fitz spoke in a low voice, looking around to the other table making sure Olivia wasn't bringing attention to them. Everyone seemed to be in their own conversations at their own table, but the older couple next to them seemed to have overheard. "I didn't mean it that way. But you were dating Olivia."
"Fitz I hadn't slept with anyone other than my vibrator in months before we got together. So unless you can now get pregnant through random skin contact, you are the father of this baby." Olivia took a large gulp of water from her glass. Fitz was really beginning to piss her off.
Fitz sat back in his chair, his arm o the armrest and his chin on his fist. He couldn't believe what Olivia was telling him, he hadn't thought this to be a scenario at all. How could she be pregnant? She doesn't look pregnant. Fitz's eyes roamed lower to her stomach, but the way she was sitting, he couldn't see. But he didn't think back to when she walked in the restaurant, she didn't look pregnant at all.
"How did this happen?"
Olivia rolled her eyes. "Fitz you're a doctor okay, you know exactly how this happened. What'd you skip sex-ed classes? You ejaculated into my vagina instead of a condom."
"Will you cool it, we're in a fucking restaurant." Fitz eyed the couple beside them again, and could tell they were now actively trying to listen in. "Why are you so calm about this anyway?"
"Oh trust me baby, I'm anything but calm. But I've had weeks to come to terms with it."
"Weeks?" Fitz repeated. "When exactly did you find this out? How far along are you?"
"I'm around twelve weeks now." Olivia answered. "I had a feeling the first four weeks, but I didn't know for sure. Then the second four weeks, I was almost positive I was pregnant, but I still didn't know for sure. Quinn's the one who finally made me take a test to find out. Then I set up a doctor's appointment, to confirm what I already knew."
"So Quinn knows? When exactly were you planning on telling me?"
"Quinn only knows, because she was there when I took the test and she went to the appointment with me. I wasn't planning on telling her."
"But you did. When were you going to tell me?" Fitz repeated.
"I don't know."
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
"Yes! Of course, obviously, I just told you. I was going to wait longer, but… I just didn't want to get your hopes up. You and I both know what happened with my other pregnancies, and I just… I thought this one would end the same way. I didn't see the point in telling you if I was just going to end up having a miscarriage anyway." Olivia eyes began to water, but she didn't dare let them fall.
Fitz felt bad now for badgering her earlier. He understood where she was coming from, but he was still upset about how long it took her to tell him she was pregnant. Especially since she told Quinn first. "Why'd you decide to tell me now?"
Olivia shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I guess I felt bad that I knew and you didn't. Besides, Quinn kept pressuring me to tell you. And also, my doctors been very optimistic about all this. And eventually her optimism rubbed off on me and I started to believe that I could do this. That this time I could make it to delivery, or at least to a point where it could survive if I had it early. And I thought, you know, you're the father, so you should be there every step of the way with me."
"So what happens now?"
"I have an appointment this Monday."
"What kind of appointment?" Fitz asked alarmingly, and Olivia wanted to slap him for even thinking something like that.
"Not that kind. I have an ultrasound appointment. I thought you might like to go with me."
Fitz nodded. "I'd like that."
"Okay. The appointment is at two, I'll meet you there. And the rest, I guess we can deal with at a later time."
Fitz was still nodding. "Works for me." It definitely worked for him. Fitz didn't think he could handle anymore right now. Olivia just told him she was pregnant. With his child. He impregnated his ex-wife. What does this mean now? Do they get back together? Shared custody? Does she expect do get full custody? Will she even be delivering a baby in nine months? This was way too much right now. Fitz was glad she told him, and she had an appointment next week. He already had more than and few questions for Olivia's doctor. And with Fitz being a doctor himself, he knew just what questions he needed to be asking.
Fitz was completely lost in his own thoughts, that Olivia's hand slamming down on the table almost made him jump out his seat.
"What the fuck are you two looking at?" Olivia was now yelling at the couple beside them, who were still eavesdropping in their conversation. "Can I not have a private conversation without the two of you lurking? What do you wanna have my baby next? Jesus Christ, look away." Fitz slid down in his seat for one, trying to hide from embarrassment and two, trying to hide his laughter. Olivia was something else.
"And where the hell is our food? We've been here for fucking ever."
X
Short chapter to introduce a new character, Nora (Who we will be seeing again). And for Fitz to finally learn Olivia is pregnant. Next chapter, Olivia and Fitz go to Olivia's appointment together.
(^_^)