Chapter 5
The Soul Society
Luckily no one in the afterlife was around to notice a big hole coming from a random hole in space in time. At least that's what an ignorant person would consider the portal to be. If anyone was around, they would have noticed Ichigo flying out and landing in an odd pose where his arms were raised in the air. Followed by Mash landing on his shoulders with her doing the same pose.
For some reason, Fou landed on Mash's head and stood up on two of his legs.
"Fou!" Fou exclaimed.
"Mash, could you and Fou get down now?" Ichigo asked.
"Okay senpai." Mash said as she jumped off.
A second later, Yoruichi came running out with everyone else right behind her. Once everyone was organized, Yoruichi hit Orihime in the eye.
"That was a very reckless move of you girl!" Yoruichi admonished.
For context, while using her newfound powers, Orihime had attempted to stop the kototsu from capturing everyone. Orihime generated a large barrier that slowed it down and gave everyone some extra time to escape the dangai but Yoruichi clearly did not like the risk.
"Okay cat, stop bullying her now." Ichigo said.
"Did we travel back in time?" Mash asked.
"Everything looks old and rural, like it's still the 19th century." Uryu said as he looked around the Soul Society.
"Welcome to the Soul Society, specifically we are in the Rukonga, the town that surrounds the Seireitei where the shinigami are. This is also the less fortunate part of the Soul Society due to being the poorest but the most heavily populated." Yoruichi explained.
Yoruichi was then about to explain the Seireitei and it's location when Ichigo noticed a big pair of doors.
"I'm guessing that's the place? I almost expected it to stand out more." Ichigo said.
"That is indeed the Seireitei, but wait just a moment before you start running." Yoruichi said.
"Because the shinigami will spot us?" Uryu asked.
"No, because you might kill yourselves by accident." Yoruichi answered before several massive pillars hit the ground.
Everyone lost their balance as they witnessed the pillars coming from the sky. They all lined up and surrounded the massive pair of doors that Ichigo pointed out. Creating a large wall to separate the shinigami from the locals.
"Is that what you expected?" Uryu asked Ichigo.
"I guess that makes it look unique." Ichigo said. "Also, if this place is heavily populated, why is it so empty?" He asked.
"I'm sure they are here somewhere. Anyways, those pillars you have witnessed are the Great White Wall which have not been penetrated in over 300 years." Yoruichi explained.
"I don't suppose there's some bureaucratic system we can take advantage of, is there?" Mash asked.
Yoruichi shook her head, "I am very sure we are all walking targets once the shinigami take notice of." She said.
"Are we going to have to force our way in?" Ichigo asked.
"I would prefer to avoid that plan. After all, there's no telling how many shinigami are in there." Uryu pointed out.
"We should just go check it out and think it over." Chad suggested.
"Chad's right, let's go." Ichigo said as he led everyone towards the Great White Wall.
Yoruichi sighed, "Confronting the challenge directly I see." She said as she followed after them.
At the wall
Once there, everyone saw the locals of Rukongai along with a massive man kneeling in front of the gate. He was massive and wore a red fez hat along with standard shinigami robes and was armed with a massive axe. This large man looked like an ape with the face he had on hand.
"Is this the guardian or something?" Ichigo asked.
"This is Jidanbo and yes, his duty is to prevent anyone and everyone from crossing through the gate without permission." Yoruichi answered.
"He's far too big to be human." Uryu pointed out.
"And that is one reason why he is the chosen gatekeeper." Yoruichi said.
"Then we will have to defeat him to get through." Uryu said while trying to assess Jidanbo.
"Bad idea, we're not doing that." Ichigo suddenly said.
"Could you think about it for more than half of a second?" Uryu asked, sounding irate.
Ichigo sighed, "Look, assuming we can somehow beat this giant. I feel like it might be more complicated than looting a key off of him or something." He said. "That and it's never simple enough to where defeating one guy is enough." He added.
"What makes you say that Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked.
Ichigo just sighed again as he tried answering that question. In another lifetime, Ichigo would have seen fighting as the direct approach or the most appropriate one during most situations. Unfortunately, Ichigo already tried that in a couple of singularities and only received terrible beatings from his enemies. So while Ichigo could likely match a mid tier servant with his shinigami powers and the chance that Jidanbo doesn't have the power to match some eldritch horror.
Ichigo was not going to overthink this, but he thought starting a fight at the gate would be as terrible of an idea as trying to put out a fire with his fists.
"Inoue, let's just say that getting too much attention right away is a bad idea." Ichigo said.
"I agree with Kurosaki, we don't need to solve every problem with our fists." Chad said, being okay with a peaceful resolution.
Uryu sighed, "Very well, perhaps we can tackle this in another way." He said. "But how?" He asked.
Mash then had a suggestion, "What if aside from senpai, one of us should…" she was interrupted by a loud crash.
Everyone turned in the direction of where Jidanbo was and saw a massive wave of smoke heading their way. Mash raised her shield and everyone hid behind her as the wave of smoke passed by them. As they took cover, everyone heard the sounds fighting and could feel a lot of heavy fighting causing the ground to shake.
It was fairly difficult to keep still during the shaking as it felt like a minor earthquake had hit the town. However, it stopped after a few minutes of waiting plus a few more for the smoke to clear up. When it did, everyone saw Jidanbo had collapsed to the ground with a variety of damage surrounding his unconscious body.
"That poor security guard, he must have been hit by a meteor." Orihime said, not realizing how ridiculous that sounds.
It wasn't a meteor that caused the destruction, but rather a blue haired woman in a revealing military style suit. Everyone came out from behind Mash's shield and saw the woman stepping off from Jidanbo as if he were some stairs. She then looked around as the smoke further cleared up as if she were trying to look for someone.
When her eyes landed on Mash.
"You there, where is your master?" The woman asked.
"My master?" Mash asked, feeling confused for a moment.
"Yes, your master. The Last Master of Chaldeas and the one who defeated the Demon God Goetia." the woman said.
This immediately made Mash anxious and Ichigo defensive while Chad and Orhime just felt lost. As for Uryu and Yoruichi, it left them feeling curious and wondering what this mystery woman meant as she was able to recognize Mash. It didn't help that the woman seemed impatient and scanned the group.
"Who are you?" Mash asked defensively.
"The one seeking your master." The woman answered.
"I asked for your identity, not your purpose." Mash said, not trusting this one for even a second.
The woman came down from Jindanbo and smiled, "You may refer to me as Esdeath. Now tell me which one of you is the last master." She said.
Everyone already got defensive but this Esdeath woman would already be throwing killing blows. In the form of mean and hurtful opinions she gives as she critiques everyone.
First she saw Orihime.
"Too weak and too dim-witted." Esdeath commented.
"That's mean." Orihime whined.
Next, she saw Chad.
"Strong, but weak hearted." Esdeath commented.
No one was sure what Chad was thinking or feeling but there was a good chance he was offended.
Then she looked at Uryu.
"Maybe, I heard the Last Master is fashionable." Esdeath said.
Uryu finally felt accepted now that someone acknowledges his sense of style.
"But you lack the will of the warrior." Esdeath added, annoying Uryu.
Esdeath ignored Yoruichi who looked like a cat, but felt like there was more to her. This didn't mean that she assumed Yoruichi to be the master. Leaving her looking at Ichigo as she already knew Mash to be the servant.
"And you don't look like much, but I have been wrong before." Esdeath said.
"I can see this woman measures someone by both intelligence and fighting capability." Yoruichi said.
"Mash, this lady is trouble. Get ready." Ichigo said.
"Hai!" Mash said before Esdeath suddenly appeared in front of her.
Mash was caught off guard and sent crashing into Uryu. Esdeath then drew her sword and slashed at Ichigo who blocked the attack.
"No one is allowed to interrupt us." Esdeath said.
Before anyone else could try to intervene. Esdeath released this deadly aura surrounding her before kicking Ichigo across the ground.
"Everyone get back, we can't risk getting caught in this fight." Yoruichi said.
"But Kurosaki-kun needs our help!" Orihime exclaimed.
"I think he's got this." Chad said as he saw Ichigo fighting back with less difficulty.
Chad was concerned, but he had faith in Ichigo. It was also a bad idea to just jump in when someone could get hurt.
With Ichigo
Ichigo repeatedly blocked Esdeath's rapid strikes. He started feeling annoyed as he could practically feel the lust for battle within the blue haired woman. He had no idea who she was but did not want to deal with this.
"You are quite slow. I suppose you are just a backseat driver for that little girl." Esdeath said, mocking him.
Ichigo groaned as he parried the next blow and moved to slash a Esdeath. The blue haired woman bent over backwards to avoid the blade.
"Too slow!" Esdeath said before summoning a wave of ice towards Ichigo.
Ichigo switched his Zanpakuto's form into a scythe and spun it with enough speed and force to break the incoming ice. Once through, Ichigo tossed his scythe at Esdeath who dodged it with ease. Only to find her shoulder being cut as the scythe returned and attacked her from behind.
"How clumsy of me." Esdeath said before slashing harder at Ichigo.
Where she broke his guard and slashed at his chest. Tearing open a large hole down his chest and leaving a large cut down his chest. Ichigo growled as he attacked rapidly, causing Esdeath to stumble back a few feet. As he started getting angry, Esdeath could only mock him further.
"The more angry you get, the more tired you make yourself." Esdeath said. "Perhaps I should have focused on that little girl with the shield instead." She said before blocking an upward strike.
However, Esdeath couldn't entirely block the strike as the slash went past her sword. Resulting in her jacket being ripped from the front, nearly exposing her bra.
"That's not gentlemen like." Esdeath commented with a glare.
"Gentlemen don't fight!" Ichigo exclaimed as he tripped Esdeath with the blade of his scythe.
Esdeath fell to the ground and was about to roll away when Ichigo bent down and bladed his scythe handle against her throat. Ichigo then knocked Esdeath's sword out of her hand and kept her in place.
"Tell me how you know me!" Ichigo demanded.
Esdeath gritted her teeth as she tried prying Ichigo off of her but his grip over the scythe was too strong. As Esdeath tried to push him away, she heard the loud sounds of what were probably pigs or boars coming close.
"What the hell is that?" Ichigo asked.
Ichigo lost his hold as he felt a small stampede running by and saw a bunch of men riding boars into the Rukongai. This gave Esdeath the chance to kick Ichigo off of her. Esdeath then stood up and adjusted herself before grabbing her sword. However, before she continued her fight, one of the riders came circling back around.
"Hey, are you a freaking shinigami? Who invited you?!" The rider angrily asked.
Ichigo groaned as he didn't want to put up with some other random idiot. It didn't help that Esdeath didn't look satisfied with the fight and wanted to continue. However, the idiot looked offended by Ichigo's presence.
"You are not welcome here!" The rider yelled as he tried swinging a club at Ichigo.
Ichigo avoided the wild swing and watched as the crazed rider tried circling around again. At the same time, Ichigo found himself blocking Esdeath's blow.
"Do you really want to keep this up?" Ichigo asked.
"I'm not satisfied yet." Esdeath said as she tried attacking him again.
Ichigo blocked Esdeath's next attack and felt a lot of pressure in the attack. Unfortunately, his position could be any worse as he also had to deal with that crazed hog rider. Ichigo heard the rider coming back for another swing but Esdeath refused to acknowledge him.
"For the love of…" Ichigo said followed by a sigh.
Ichigo suddenly dropped his guard, making Esdeath lose her stance. He then grabbed the woman by her jacket and jumped away from the swing. The rider quickly circled back and tried hitting Ichigo again, prompting the teen to grab Esdeath in an embrace before rolling away from the rider's attack.
"You think you're cool because you got some moves!? You're just a coward and don't bother using your girlfriend as an excuse!" The rider yelled.
"She's not my girlfriend!" Ichigo yelled as he stood up with Esdeath.
Ichigo then tossed Esdeath into the air and changed his zanpakuto's form into a pair of sickles with chains. Ichigo ducked from the rider's swing and tossed one of the sickles at the rider. The rider then found his arm being wrapped by the chain but before he could try and pull it off. Ichigo used his strength to drag the rider off of his hog.
"That will teach him." Ichigo said before Esdeath landed on top of him.
To make matters worse, Ichigo's face was covered by the women's overly large bosom. Just in time for Mash and Yoruichi to arrive and check on him.
"Senpai are you alright?" Mash asked before noticing his position.
"I think Ichigo is just fine." Yoruichi said with a smirk.
"Senpai, what are you doing!?" Mash asked with a red face.
Ichigo pushed Esdeath off of his face, "Ignore me, go get that jerk riding the pig." He said.
Mash looked at the uncomfortable sight for a few more seconds before looking towards the crazy rider. Only to find the man whistling for his companions who returned and started charging at her.
"Why are there so many warthogs?" Mash asked with wide eyes.
"They are boars." Yoruichi corrected.
"That's not much better." Mash said as she blocked in the incoming attack.
"You're screwed now, shinigami! My gang is here and we're going to kick all your asses!" The man yelled.
Before Ichigo could respond, Esdeath let out an annoyed growl and stood up. In an instant, the leader of the Boar riding gang was kicked in the face and sent crashing through a wall. It didn't take too long before the other gang members were also beat up with their boars landing right next to the building where the leader was.
"I see our battle will have to be put off. Goodbye for now." Esdeath said.
"Hey, where do you think you're going!? You haven't told me anything!" Ichigo shouted.
Esdeath grinned before she grabbed Ichigo and pulled him close to her face. Ichigo expected a threat or some kind of ominous warning given how she knew about his recent past. Only he was given a kiss on the lips that went on too long for his comfort.
"Senpai!" Mash exclaimed.
"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime shouted before watching the kiss.
The men just stared in confusion and Yoruichi snickered at the sight.
"I never realized the boy was charismatic with the opposite sex." Yoruichi commented as the kiss ended.
"Consider that a promise." Esdeath told Ichigo who stumbled back.
"A promise of what?" Ichigo asked, sounding annoyed and embarrassed.
"That we will meet again." Esdeath said before disappearing.
"Hey! Where… augh!" Ichigo groaned in frustration. "I swear, that crazy lady gave me her craziness or something." He said.
"Is it contagious?" Orihime asked, sounding naive.
"Not in the way you expect." Uryu commented.
Ichigo wiped his mouth and walked towards the gate, "Come on, let's go check out the big guy. I don't want to deal with the guys who were riding the pigs." He said.
The group followed Ichigo to Jidanbo who was still lying on the ground but started regaining consciousness. Jidanbo immediately looked depressed and was about to burst into tears when he raised his axes which had snapped at the handles.
"That woman, she attacked me and broke my ax." Jidanbo said with tears in his eyes.
Ichigo sighed and patted Jidanbo's head, "Look, I know it's unfair. It looked like a random surprise attack and that shouldn't count as a loss since sneak attacks are just unfair moves made by cowards." He said.
Jidanbo nodded, "That's right, that woman isn't a true warrior. I didn't even get to fight until the last second when she broke my axes." He said.
"Yeah, that lady was crazy and was looking for a fight. I guess that's a good reminder that just wanting to fight doesn't define you as a warrior." Ichigo said.
"That's right." Jidanbo said as he started to stand up.
"Even though your axes are broken. You could always have them fixed and maybe even improved. You just have to prove that you won't let anyone walk all over you." Ichigo explained.
Jidanbo suddenly felt motivated, "That's right! I can't cry over my axes being broken! In fact, you fought that woman and she ran away when things got complicated for her! You're the truth warrior!" He said.
"I guess I am." Ichigo said, not expecting that compliment.
"Honorable fighter, tell me your name." Jidanbo said, surprising Ichigo.
"My name is Ichigo." He answered.
"Haha, strawberry is a cute name." Jidanbo said, now frustrating Ichigo.
"My name isn't Strawberry. The kanji in the beginning spells "Guardian" or "Protector", I'm not named after food." Ichigo said.
Jidanbo ignored the rant and grabbed the bottom of the gate, "Very well, Guardian of the strawberry. I will open the gate because you have proven yourself by beating the woman who defeated me." He said. "This is the first time I have opened the gate for anyone in over 300 years." He said.
As Jidanbo used all of his strength to raise the gate open. A man with white hair and a uniform similar to Byakuya's had appeared.
"Jidanbo, your only task is to keep the gate closed and not allow anyone inside. Are you that bad of a listener?" The man asked.
"Who is that?" Chad asked.
"A high ranking shinigami no doubt." Uryu said as he got into an offensive stance.
Before anyone could react, the shinigami captain raised his wakizashi shaped zanpakuto at Jidanbo and extended the blade. The blade increased into a massive length which allowed the captain to sever Jidanbo's arm. Jidanbo then cried out in pain as he struggled to keep up the gate while Ichigo rushed at the shinigami captain before he could fight again.
"A shihakusho? What an odd sight." The captain said as he blocked Ichigo's incoming attack.
"Says the blind guy." Ichigo said.
"I am not blind, how rude of you to assume." the captain said.
"You're rude, you attacked your own guy!" Ichigo argued as he pointed at Jidanbo.
"Jidanbo has one duty and he failed to do it." the captain replied.
Yoruichi sighed, "Ichigo, that man is a captain! Retreat right now!" She shouted.
The captain tilted his head, "Ichigo? Oh, you must be that human with the stolen shinigami powers." He said before pushing Ichigo away. "Perhaps I should clean this mess right now." He said.
Ichigo made some distance for himself as he tried to change his zanpakuto's form again. Only for the shinigami captain to fire his zanpakuto's blade like a projectile.
"Shoot to Kill: Shinso!" The captain exclaimed.
As the extended blade moved directly towards Ichigo. Mash quickly jumped in and blocked the blade much to the captain's surprise.
"You blocked my blade that easily?" The captain asked, not seeing any damage on the shield.
"This shield was wielded by a Knight of the Round!" Mash answered.
"A knight of what?" the captain asked, sounding confused.
"Time to go!" Yoruichi said as Ichigo and Mash returned back to the Rukongai.
Jidanbo finally let go of the gate and collapsed onto his back. The shinigami captain just watched with curiosity as he processed what he learned today and decided to report it.
Meanwhile Orihime tried to use her new power to help Jidanbo with his severed arm. While it was still fresh, she knew she could try and reattach it and hopefully leave nothing more than a scar. Everyone but Chad was then presented with Orihime's new power for the first time.
"I reject." Orihime said as these little floating people appeared over Jidanbo's arm.
The little people then started shielding the arm with a golden aura. It didn't take too long for the arm to be reattached and cleanly healed as if it wasn't damaged at all.
"That feels so much better." Jidanbo said before groaning. "But I discourage opening the gate again." He said as he clutched his shoulder.
"Maybe we should restrategize." Uryu suggested.
"Agreed." Yoruichi said.
Just as Orihime finished treating Jidanbo, an elder from the locals in Rukongai stepped forward.
"We are grateful for all you healing Jidanbo. Despite his duties and seriousness, he is quite gentle." The elder said. "Especially with forcing that strange woman to leave and protecting Jidanbo from that shinigami." He said.
"What about the gang of men riding on the boars? Aren't they trouble as well?" Chad asked.
"That is just Ganju and his friends. They are just a nuisance that likes to stir up noise." The elder said.
Everyone but Yoruichi sweat dropped and wondered why the locals let that happen. Then again, Yoruichi mentioned that there were a lot of people here but they were poor. From how things looked with the shinigami, there doesn't seem to be a reliable police force to help them put up with idiots riding pigs.
"You want us to kick them out of town?" Ichigo asked.
"No thank you, we try not to worry about Ganju and the boys. They don't cause too much trouble." The elder said.
As the group started to settle into the town. Chad found himself being approached by a little boy within the crowd.
"Excuse me, Sado-san?" The boy asked.
Chad looked down at the boy, "Have we met?" He asked.
"Yes, I'm Yuichi Shibata." The boy answered.
Chad felt confused, he recollected that name or some part of it but couldn't think about where he heard it. So then the boy had to explain himself.
"I was the parakeet that you protected, do you remember now?" Yuichi asked.
Chad looked surprised, "Yuichi?" He asked, now remembering the parakeet he defended. "I didn't recognize you." He said as he kneeled on one leg.
Yuichi chuckled, "Well I obviously didn't expect you to recognize me as a human rather than a bird." He said.
"I see, how have you been? Have you reunited with your mother?" Chad asked.
Yuichi's smile faltered, "I… I haven't found her." He said sadly.
"Chad, if you want. You can hang out with the kid. I think we might have to stick around and make a new plan." Ichigo said.
"And I need to make sure Jidanbo-kun is properly healed." Orihime spoke up.
Uryu sighed, "Well this was a waste of time." He said.
Uryu felt like they accomplished nothing but practically let the shinigami know that they were here now. Unless the shinigami captain decides to be quiet and no one decides to check on Jidanbo. There's a chance that everyone in the Seireitei is going to be on high alert.
Later that night
Yoruichi had tried coming up with a plan in order for the group to break into the Seireitei. Obviously the direct approach was not going to do it, regardless of whether or not they used brute force to enter the Seireitei.
"Elder-san, by any chance do you know Kukaku Shiba?" Yoruichi asked.
The elder sighed, "I know of her, but if you are hoping to seek her out. I am afraid there is so little I can do. Shiba-san tends to move around very frequently." He explained.
"I see, then I doubt she will be living in the same space where I saw her the last time." Yoruichi said.
"Who is Kukaku Shiba?" Mash asked.
"I'm afraid you may be on a long journey to find her. You are not planning on using "that" contraption are you?" The elder asked.
"What are you referring to?" Orihime asked.
Before the elder or Yoruichi elebatorated, Ganju came stumbly in. Everyone could see that the buffoon had a big boot print on his face. Along with what appeared to be a large cut, most likely from the heel of Esdeath's boot.
"I see you are awake now, Ganju." The elder said.
Ganju ignored the elder and marched up to Ichigo who was instantly annoyed.
"Why the hell are you here, Shinigami? In fact, why are you still here?" Ganju asked.
"What the hell is your problem?" Ichigo asked.
Ganju then grabbed him by the chin, "Answer my question you bastard!" He yelled.
"Should we do something?" Orihime asked Mash.
The elder just drank his tea in peace, "This was to be expected." He said calmly.
That's when Ichigo decided to beat up Ganju for being an annoying and unreasonable jerk.
"Cheeseburger Tornado!" Ichigo yelled.
Everyone then watched as Ichigo drove his fist under Ganju's jaw while doing a big spin. The impact caused Ganju to fly through the roof and land on the street. Ichigo then walked out and watched as Ganju stood up and brought out a large knife.
"You're so dead you Shinigami trash!" Ganju yelled as he tried to cut Ichigo.
"Ganju, that's enough!" The elder yelled.
Ganju ignored the elder but was quickly disarmed by Ichigo who twisted his grip and tossed him into the ground. Ichigo then threw the knife away and brought out his coin.
"Since I already made a big mess, I'm going to go easy on you." Ichigo said.
Ganju scoffed, "Are you giving up already? Do you think I'm so stupid that hypnosis is going to work on me?" He asked.
Ichigo didn't answer and started swinging the coin around. Ganju then tried to rush Ichigo only to find himself being run over by a stampede of wild rhinos that came from nowhere. Ganju screamed in pain as he felt every bone in his body breaking from being trampled on by the wild beasts. After a few minutes, the stampede ended and all that was left was a baby rhino that stepped on Ganju's crotch.
"That hurt!" Ganju cursed as the baby rhino ran away.
Then a piano fell on top of him.
"What the hell is this?" Ganju asked.
And then this series of painful events ended with an army of gnomes and orcs going to war. Resulting in the two sides trampling over Ganju again with a few members of both sides throwing sharp weapons and other projectiles. Most of which hit Ganju, including one fire bomb that set him on fire.
"AHHHH!" Ganju screamed before being put out with a mysterious yellow liquid. "Oh that's better, but why is the water so sticky." He said.
"Not water. Orc peepee. We thought you were a toilet." An orc said.
Ganju just shivered before running away to look for a bathtub. Only to feel a sharp pain against his chin.
In Reality
Ganju crashed into a wall as Ichigo stretched his arm.
"Did you really just hypnotize him?" Uryu asked.
"It worked on the gym teacher and that shinigami named Renji." Ichigo answered.
"Kurosaki-kun, you must have great mystical powers." Orihime said with stars in her eyes.
"I guess." Ichigo said with a shrug.
Then suddenly Bonnie the boar tried to tackle down Ichigo. Only for the orange haired boy to keep her floating in place.
"Crap, someone tell Mash to get the grill and steak sauce!" Ichigo yelled.
"Hey! Bonnie isn't food for eating!" Ganju yelled before noticing how dark it was. "Crap, it's probably close to 9 PM. Bonnie, we gotta go!" He shouted.
Bonnie stopped trying to attack Ichigo and went back to Ganju. Ganju then climbed back on top of the boar and started riding.
"Hey! Get back here!" Ichigo yelled.
"Another time, shinigami! You messed with the wrong guy! I'm the Boss of the Western Rukongai and I won't forget your face!" Ganju shouted as he escaped.
Then Mash came out wearing an apron and a hat, "Are we still cooking for tonight?" She asked.
"No and that jerk escaped." Ichigo said.
"Were you actually planning on eating the boar?" Uryu asked.
Ichigo shrugged, "Wasting meat is a bad thing." He said.
Then Chad arrived, "I heard a lot of noise. Did I miss anything?" He asked.
"Kurosaki-kun tried to cook a pork dinner and the crazy man riding the boar escaped." Orihime answered.
"I see." Chad said.
"Has anyone seen Fou?" Mash asked.
"I thought he was with you." Ichigo said.
"Fou! Fou!" Fou called out.
Everyone looked around and saw Fou being surrounded by the locals of the Rukongai. For some reason, Fou was once again attracting a crowd who wanted to venerate him. Going as far as to give him a plate of grapes as well as the most comfortable pillow they could find.
"Again?" Ichigo asked.
Everyone else just sweat dropped as Fou continues to amass followers. Whereas Yoruichi just snickered at the sight.
"Fou is popular regardless of where he goes." Yoruichi commented.
A moment of silence passed before Ichigo spoke up again.
"I should tell Fou to convince these people into attacking that guy, Ganju. Or at least kick him out of town." Ichigo said.
"Senpai!" Mash exclaimed.
"Mash, if we were not on a tight schedule then I would wait here for that guy to come back." Ichigo said.
Uryu face palmed, "Kurosaki, we don't have time to deal with your vendetta or time for your pet to be treated like royalty." He said.
"Fou!" Fou shouted before a random object hit Uryu on the head.
"Ouch! That thing has something against me!" Uryu yelled.
"It's because you haven't appeased him." Orihime said.
Uryu looked dumbstruck, "Appeased him? What is that supposed to mean? You want me to be one of his mindless slaves?" He asked.
Orihime shook her head, "Ishida, you don't have to be his slave. You could offer him a gift. Maybe you can make him a nice sweater since you are amazing at sewing." She said.
"You think a sweater is going to make that thing less aggressive towards me?" Uryu asked.
"Perhaps Fou will be less hostile with a gift, but we do not have time for that. We must find Kukaku Shiba's house if we are to enter the seireitei before Rukia's execution." Yoruichi said.
"So where do we look?" Ichigo asked.
"The elder gave me a map of Kukaku's last known location. Somewhere in the outskirts of the Rukongai." Yoruichi answered.
Orihime then spoke up again, "Yoruichi-san, what kind of cat is Kukaku-san?" She asked.
"Inoue-san, what kind of question is that?" Mash asked.
"I'm guessing Kukaku-san must be a Persian cat or maybe an American Shorthair. Do you think Kukaku-san is a dalmation?" Orihime asked.
Mash sweat dropped, "Dalmations are dogs." She answered.
"Really?" Orihime asked.
"Kukaku-san isn't necessarily a cat just because Yoruichi is acquainted with them." Uryu said.
"Then what animal do you think they are?" Orihime asked.
"How do you know Kukaku-san is an animal?" Chad asked, making Orihime think.
Ichigo just groaned, "Here, just start drawing on these papers. You can brainstorm what Kukaku looks like while Mash and I go retrieve Fou." He said.
"Good idea Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime replied as Ichigo gave everyone a sheet of paper.
"Let's go Mash, Fou is going to be troublesome if he decides not to leave." Ichigo said as Mash followed him.
"Now then, is Kukaku-san bipedal or quadrupedal?" Orihime asked as Chad and Uryu started getting curious.
A while later, outskirts
Ichigo just sighed as he was given the sketches of what everyone thinks Kukaku looks like. Orihime was convinced that Kukaku might at least have the power to transform into a cat. Chad drew what looked like an elderly hermit. Uryu drew a somewhat muscular looking samurai with armor. Surprisingly, Mash decided to get involved and drew a hardened looking female in a kimono.
"If I were to compare your drawings to Rukia's, I would say you all just earned a place in the Louvre." Ichigo said.
"I also drew this!" Orihime said as she flipped her drawing around.
Ichigo sweat dropped as he saw what is described to be a muscular old man with samurai armor and cat features such as ears and a tail. He had no idea what was going on in Orihime's head.
"It's a combination of my drawing along with Sado and Ishida's sketches." Orihime said cheerfully.
"It's still better than Rukia's." Ichigo said.
"I hope you all feel satisfied with your predictions because I believe we have found Kukaku's house." Yoruichi said.
"Are you sure?" Ichigo asked. "You said this Kukaku person likes to move around." He said.
"Well Kukaku is just like that but the house is always built the same. Just look, it's right over there." Yoruichi said
The group looked over the grassy field and saw a small building with a pair of muscular arms sticking out of the ground and holding a large banner.
"I know, the banner really adds to the style." Yoruichi said.
"I guess Kukaku isn't trying to hide their identity." Uryu said.
"Forget that, something tells me this architecture isn't allowed in town." Ichigo said.
Ignoring their opinions, Yoruichi led everyone towards the oddly shaped house. Where they were greeted by a pair of muscular men with fez hats on their heads. Both of whom seemed to be quite hostile.
"You are all better off staying away unless you all wish to die." One of them said.
Ichigo's eye twitched as he pulled out his coin. Only for Yoruichi to raise her tail towards him.
"Hold it right there, we don't need to use that here." Yoruichi said.
The two men then noticed Yoruichi and bowed their heads.
"Yoruichi-sama, we did not notice you! Please forgive the rude greeting!" They said at the same time.
"Koganehiko, Shiroganehiko, you were both just doing your jobs. Although you are fortunate that I stopped Kurosaki here. He's killed a large of men twice your size with that coin alone." Yoruichi said.
'They won't fall for that.' Ichigo thought.
"That coin is pretty powerful." Chad commented, remembering what Ichigo did to the gym teacher.
"Kurosaki-kun, you should be careful with where you wave that coin around." Orihime warned.
'It's just a coin I found on the ground!' Ichigo thought.
"Please, follow us downstairs. We will meet Kukaku-sama there." Koganehiko said.
As the group followed everyone inside the small building. They were presented with a large stairway leading to the underground. It was best to not ask any questions when given how weird their reality is by this point.
"I do apologize for not warning you boys in advance." Yoruichi told the men.
"Please do not worry, Yoruichi-sama. It was a mistake on our part, we were too quick to be hostile." Koganehiko said.
The group then reached an empty room where they will be speaking.
"Please wait right here." Shiroganehiko said as they all took a seat.
A few moments later, they heard some tapping from one of the sliding doors.
"That must be Kukaku-sama, she must be ready to meet you all." Shiroganehiko said before opening the door.
Once open, everyone was presented with a busty young woman in a robe that revealed most of her body. She was sitting on a pile of pillows and smoking a pipe by hand. It was truly a surprise to everyone as they didn't expect Kukaku to look this way.
"I guess Mash was the most accurate with her drawing." Ichigo said.
Other than the fact that Mash interpreted Kukaku being female. The drawing presented Kukaku as a smoker with some sense of maturity.
"I thought she was one of those serious types." Mash whispered.
"Yoruichi, it's good to see you again. Are you just visiting or do you need help with something tough?" Kukaku asked.
"We do have a difficult task and could use your help." Yoruichi answered.
"I knew it." Kukaku said with a grin. "Before I hear you out, do you mind telling me about your entourage there?" She asked.
"They are here because we need assistance with entering the Seireitei and rescuing a shinigami who was wrongfully convicted for reasons outside of her control. In fact, it involves this boy with the hair color of a carrot." Yoruichi said.
Ichigo looked visibly annoyed by that statement.
"But it is not his fault. However it seems that going directly through the gate will be an issue." Yoruichi continued.
"I see, I heard something about a shinigami being convicted. I'm already willing to help but there's a small catch." Kukaku said.
"Tell me your request and we will grant it." Yoruichi said.
"I just need you to take an agent of mine. He's my little brother, so mind the headache he might give you all." Kukaku said as she opened the door.
Then to everyone's shock, Ganju appeared behind the door and bowed his head in a respectful and courteous manner.
"Greetings welcome guests, I am Ganju Shiba and… hey it's you!" Ganju yelled angrily as he pointed at Ichigo.
"Ganju, I know you hate shinigami but this is important." Kukaku said, already looking irate.
"It's that crazy man from Rukongai that assaulted Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime exclaimed.
That caught Kukaku's attention, "Did you attack our guests!?" She asked, sounding angry.
"Nee-chan, I have a perfectly good explanation." Ganju said.
A few minutes later, Ganju had a few lumps on his head. But unfortunately, that did not stop Kukaku from trying to convince the group from taking Ganju with them.
"Fine, we'll do it." Ichigo said.
"You're quick to agree, do you always forgive so easily?" Kukaku asked with a raised brow.
"No, I've dealt with worse." Ichigo said.
"Since when?" Uryu asked.
"Have you met Christopher Columbus or Edward Teach?" Ichigo asked.
Uryu looked very confused, "What?" He asked.
Ichigo then turned back to Kukaku, "So are there some other preparations we need to do or some other thing we need to talk about?" He asked.
Then Ganju came back up, "Hold on, I think we have something to settle first!" He said as he stood over Ichigo.
Ichigo then pulled out the coin, "Magic Coin Doom!" He said.
Ganju suddenly lost consciousness while standing up. This sort of impressed Kukaku as her little brother appeared alive but silent.
"What did…"
"He's a master of hypnosis." Yoruichi said.
"It's just a coin. It doesn't work on smart people." Ichigo said.
"Oh that makes sense." Kukaku said. "At least now Ganju can behave." She added.
A short while later
Everyone was standing in front of a massive cannon. There was literally no need to explain this in unnecessary detail. Yoruichi's plan to get help in order to enter the Seireitei was a giant cannon.
"This is the Kakaku Taiho." Ganju said proudly.
He was then kicked by Kukaku, "I wanted to tell them its name!" She said.
The massive cannon only looked bigger as it was being raised up by a crank handled by the muscular twins.
"So, we're doing this Looney Tunes style?" Ichigo asked.
Kukaku scoffed, "I have no idea what that is, but this will guarantee you a ticket into the shinigami's stronghold. If you don't like it, then you're free to leave." She said.
Ichigo turned to Mash, "Mash, we're entering by pterodactyl." He said.
Mash looked surprised, "Are you sure?" She asked.
"Kurosaki, this is no time for jokes. Just behave." Yoruichi said.
"You have literally met Quetzalcaotl at least once. Didn't you see her summon a dinosaur?" Ichigo asked but Yoruichi just frowned. "This is a real thing, no joke." He said.
"Get in the cannon." Yoruichi commanded.
"This has to be a joke." Uryu said before being hit in the face with a sphere.
"It's no joke, I'm a fireworks expert." Kukaku said before taking the sphere. She then tossed it into Ichigo's hands, "Now try to concentrate you Reiryoku into this." She said.
"What? How?" Ichigo asked.
"Just concentrate, think of it as kido training." Kukaku answered.
Ichigo failed to use the sphere properly aside from some small energy bubbles occasionally appearing. Which led to Yoruichi explaining that Ichigo is a novice shinigami and hasn't been properly trained. Kukaku cursed at this and took the sphere back.
"Look, Ganju can show you how to use it later. Just in the cannon already." Kukaku said.
"Fine, it's not like I need kido right now anyways." Ichigo said.
After a few minutes of ramblings and other things that Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko had to mention. The group was finally shoved into the cannon along with Ganju and shot high into the air. Like in a Looney Tunes episode, the group felt like they were about to enter outer space before eventually falling down towards a random area in the Seireitei.
"Mash, hang onto that container!" Ichigo yelled as he grabbed Mash.
"What is so important about that overgrown thermos?" Uryu asked.
"It's more important than that dumb ball!" Ichigo yelled.
"Don't mock my sister's Reishukaku!" Ganju angrily yelled. "Now everyone focus your hand on it. We need to focus our Reiryoku and create a sphere of energy. Otherwise we're all going to turn into bloody stains on the pavement." He said.
Ichigo groaned, "This better work." He said as he put his hand on the Reishukaku.
After a small lecture from Ganju and some desperate attempts of trying to pass on their energy. The Reishukaku was able to generate a big enough barrier to protect them all in. Although now it looks like a crash will soon be the least of their worries.
"I guess it did work." Ichigo said.
"Pfft, you deserve worse for doubting my sister." Ganju said bitterly.
"I really don't like you." Ichigo said with a twitching eye.
"Ganju-san, if you don't mind me asking. Why are you here with us? You clearly showed disdain towards shinigami. So it doesn't make a whole lot of sense that your sister made you come with us." Mash said.
"I have my reasons, I don't like it but I'm here now." Ganju said, not wanting to say anymore.
Ganju may be an idiot, but some of them could tell there was more to Ganju's hate than just random hate towards a certain profession. Whatever the reason is, they did not have the time to stand around and wait for a backstory. They could either figure it out later or settle with Orihime's theory.
"I know, Ganju is troubled but he's going to team up with Kurosaki-kun and become friends. Just like how Ishida became Kurosaki-kun's best friend!" Orihime said.
"I doubt it." Chad said bluntly.
"I am not friends with Kurosaki." Uryu said bluntly as well.
Orihime deflated as she wanted a simple and happy story like that. However, everyone started realizing that they were literally drifting apart once Kukaku's tool had broken. The group soon found themselves in a vortex that made them slowly lose their balance.
"Everyone, grab onto each other! We cannot afford to be separated!" Yoruichi warned.
"Mash, hop onto my back!" Ichigo commanded.
"Why are you worried about her the most? Kyrielight is clearly a capable fighter." Uryu said.
"It's not about that, only I can use the container on her back." Ichigo replied.
"What are you even carrying in there?" Uryu asked.
"Worry about the luggage later! We are about to land!" Yoruichi said as they started approaching the Seireitei.
As the group began to reach the surface. Shinigami from all over the Seireitei saw a blinding flash coming from where the group was. If they were not already on high alert, the flashing light was going to sound off many alarms.
One loud crash later
Mash was still holding onto Ichigo before realizing they landed on sand. She looked around with her visible eye and saw that only Ganju was with him. The younger Shiba sibling did something to have summoned the pit of sand that broke their fall.
"We're safe." Ganju said.
"Thank you Ganju-san." Mash said gratefully.
"You're welcome lady. Now, wake up that lazy ass shinigami before we get caught." Ganju said.
Ichigo groaned, "I am awake." He said as he got up. "Mash, time to use that container. It looks like we got separated, but now we need backup before trouble comes." He said.
"Oh, trouble has already come." Said a new voice.
The trio looked up and saw a pair of shinigami on the roof of a building. One was bald and the other had an odd hairstyle. They then jumped down and smirked at the trio.
"Aren't we fortunate Ikkaku? We found the ryoka when we decided to ditch the patrol duty." The one with the dumb hairstyle said.
"We are very fortunate Yumichika, in fact, I'm going to do my tsuki tsuki dance because these ryoka are unlucky to have been found by us." Ikkaku said before doing a weird dance.
After a few seconds of watching, Ganju looked at Ichigo with tired eyes.
"Do you still have your coin?" Ganju asked.
Ichigo let out a sigh as he pulled it out, but the two shinigami mistook the meaning of it.
"What is that? A bribe? You have to do better than bribe us with money from the human world." Ikkaku said as he continued to dance. "It's not even good enough to pay for my fine…"
Ikkaku was interrupted as they heard a demonic roar. The ground suddenly ripped open as a demon that looked like it came out of H.P. Lovecraft's books appeared wearing a shinigami shihakusho. The demon then grabbed Ikkaku and Yumichika with it's massive hands.
"You two skipped out on patrol duty! You will now be punished!" The demon roared.
"But we found the Ryoka!" Yumichika argued.
"Do not make excuses! There only awaits suffering for those who skip on their jobs!" The demon shouted.
"Mercy!" Ikkaku pleaded.
The demon then dragged the pair underground where they were taken through many portals and dimensions that looked like different levels of hell. The two continued to scream as that was the only ounce of free will they had left as the demon continued to drag them underground.
In reality
Ichigo sweat dropped as he saw Ikkaku and Yumichika collapse onto their backs while screaming in terror.
"I guess we can work on the container now." Ichigo said.
"What did you do to them?" Ganju asked.
"I don't know and I don't care. You can snap them out of whatever nightmare they're in by punching them across the face." Ichigo said as he grabbed the container off of Mash's back.
Ganju then watched as Ichigo quickly surrounded the container with strange markings that looked foreign to him. While Ganju wasn't an idiot in the department of Soul Society's equivalent of magic. His knowledge looked like basic algebra while Ichigo was making something that looked like he was working with advanced calculus. It didn't help that Mash looked like she knew what she was doing too.
'I guess I'm just gonna stand over here.' Ganju said as he turned around. 'Wait, I have two other shinigami who are exposed.' He thought as he grinned.
Ganju then proceeded to draw on their faces before stuffing their shihakushos with firecrackers and a few other painful tools. The younger Shiba had to hold back from actually hurting them as he knew they would just wake up.
Then he felt a lot of explosion behind him. Making him feel like he was literally standing next to a nuclear reactor.
"Hey, what are you doing back there!?" Ganju asked before being blinded by a flash.
When it calmed down, three individuals stood before Ichigo. One was a little girl with purple hair that was covered by a hood. The second was a tall muscular man with the head of a bull. The third was a short individual with heavy armor that had red markings with a horned helmet.
"This feels nostalgic." Ichigo said with a smile.
Ganju was still recovering from the blinding light when he accidentally stepped on Yumichika and Ikkaku's bodies. Both of them woke up from their nightmares and knocked Ganju over as they tried to stand. Only to make a bigger mess as they all struggled to get to their feet.
"Senpai, trouble is back!" Mash said.
"Damn it Ganju, you only had one job!" Ichigo exclaimed.
"What!? Don't act like you're in charge of me!" Ganju yelled before he was shoved away by Yumichika.
"Get up Ikkaku, these Ryoka are more slippery than we thought." Yumichika said.
"I see that now." Ikkaku said. "We better hurry before Captain Zaraki arrives and decides to steal all the fun." He said.
Ichigo then turned to his summoned servants as his command seals appeared on the back of his hand.
"I would really like to catch up with you guys knowing you all remember me, but we got a fight on our hands." Ichigo said.
The man with the head of a bull just grunted in response.
"Mordred, you go with Mash and help the guy in the bandana. Asterios, Ana, you two help me with the old man." Ichigo ordered.
Mordred and Mash ran towards Ganju's side while Asterios and Ana stayed with Ichigo. Ikkaku just smirked as he drew his zanpakuto.
"I see you called for backup, it makes sense… wait, did you just call me old!?" Ikkaku asked angrily.
"You are bald." Ichigo pointed out.
"Because I chose to be!" Ikkaku yelled. "Enough of this, Grow: Hozukimaru!" He shouted as he released his shikai.
Ikkaku's zanpakuto then transformed into a spear. Before it broke down into three sections like a sansetsukon.
"Surprised?" Ikkaku asked.
Ichigo scoffed, "Hey Ana, look at this." He said as he revealed his own zanpakuto. It then transformed into a pair of chained sickles, "We're twins now." He said.
"I see." Ana said, nodding in acknowledgement.
Asterios just grunted as he shook his head.
"Don't worry, your axes are still cool." Ichigo said reassuringly.
"Are you just going to stand there all day?" Ikkaku asked before rushing at Ichigo with his zanpakuto.
Ichigo ducked underneath the attack and threw his chains, wrapping them around Ikkaku's arms. Ichigo held his grip on the chains, keeping Ikkaku still long enough for Asterios to slash at Ikkaku who crashed into a wall. The bald shinigami slowly got up but quickly rolled away as Asterios shattered the wall behind him.
Ikkaku didn't have time to catch his breath as Ichigo threw one of his sickles towards his head. Ikkaku avoided it but then found Ana trying to slash at him with her scythe. Ikkaku raised his zanpakuto and deflected the incoming attacks before wrapping it around Ana's scythe. However that backfired when Ana kicked him in the chest and backflipped away from him.
'These Ryoka are intense!' Ikkaku thought as he slid across the ground. 'But I won't let up.' He thought.
With Mash
Yumichika was not having an easier time, even if Ganju was a poor fighter. Because now the vanity obsessed shinigami found himself having a difficult fight.
"That's it! Blossom: Fuji Kujaku!" Yumichika exclaimed as his zanpakuto transformed into a Persian style sword. "Now be amazed by this, Split and Deviate!" He said.
The zanpakuto then released several more blades attached to the hilt. This did not impress Mordred who felt bored when she saw the weapon.
"Nice rake." Mordred said sarcastically.
"Rake? What?" Yumichika asked, sounding surprised. "You dare call my zanpakuto a rake? Does this look like a gardening tool?" He asked.
"If you ask me, you could use a landscape artist for your head." Mordred said, infuriating Yumichika.
Yumichika then lunged at Mordred with great speed, but the Knight of Rebellion quickly blocked the attack. The downside to Yumichika's weapon is that it's better for speed, but it lacks heavy attacks. Mordred may not be the fastest servant, but she still had good enough reflexes to block Yumichika's strikes.
"I should not have expected better from a slacker!" Mordred taunted.
Yumichika gritted his teeth as he tried attacking faster, but Mordred would block each attack. When he did land an attack, Yumichika's zanpakuto only left a small temporary scratch. Which left him open for Mordred to deliver a downward slash that tore through the front of his shihakusho.
"Take cover! I got this!" Ganju shouted.
"What?" Mordred asked before noticing something spilling from Yumichika's clothes.
"What the hell!? Who put these in here!?" Yumichika asked as he tried digging into his robes.
Ganju threw down a smoke bomb to obscure everyone's vision. Mash jumped by Mordred's side and raised her shield as she didn't know what Ganju would do. A second later, Mash felt a medium sized explosion tapping against her shield. She lowered it and saw that Yumichika's clothes were burnt and damaged and his hair was a frizzy mess.
"What was that?" Mash asked.
Ganju chuckled, "I stuffed him with fireworks while they were taking a nap." He answered.
Yumichika frantically reached for his hair and felt all of the burns and curls surrounding it. He looked at Ganju with angry eyes as he raised his zanpakuto at him.
"You are so dead, Ryoka!" Yumichika shouted.
Only for Mash to jump in the way and block Yumichika's attack. Mash then shoved him back with her shield. Ganju wasn't a Ryoka, but it wasn't like the shinigami was in the state of mind to do a census.
Yumichika was now too angry to see things clearly as he felt the stinging pain of the burns that Ganju gave him. It also felt worse that his appearance was ruined because of a few novelty explosives. This ruined the shinigami's focus as he slipped up as soon as Mash rammed her shield into him, sending him rolling across the ground.
Where Mordred almost took his head off with Clarent. Yumichika quickly stood up and slashed at Mordred's helmet with no damage done. Mordred just kicked Yumichika in the gut and made him stumble backwards. She then rapidly slashed him in multiple directions before sending him crashing into a wall.
Yumichika grunted as he tried to recover, but found himself being shoved into the wall by Mordred. This time, she lifted her blade and aimed it close to his throat.
"Say the word, Lancelot Jr." Mordred said.
"We don't need to kill him!" Mash shouted.
"I don't know, this one looks unhinged." Mordred replied.
Yumichika was angrily grunting, "I'm losing my mind because you ruined me! Unlike you, I don't hide behind ugly bulky armor!" He shouted.
Mordred looked at Yumichika in silence before head butting him with her helmet. She then stepped back as Yumichikia clutched his face with one hand and quickly swung his zanpakuto with the other. Mash blocked the wild slashes before Ganju came up again with another trinket.
"Hey clown face, this should cheer you up!" Ganju yelled as he threw a small explosive at Yumichika's face.
It wasn't deadly enough to kill him, but Yumichika did hit the ground and lose consciousness. Mordred bent down and slapped him a few times to confirm that he was out cold.
"This was boring. This guy was a mob." Mordred said.
"We can't take any chances though. We should check on senpai." Mash said.
Back with Ichigo
Ikkaku was on his last legs, even if he was the third seat of the 11th division. He couldn't keep up with Ichigo and his servants. Even now, Ichigo asked Asterios and Ana to stand back so he can finish off Ikkaku. Ikkaku believed it was an unfair fight but could not complain as others like his own captain don't complain about such things.
In fact, Kenpachi Zaraki would only call a fight unfair if he wasn't given the chance to participate in a fight.
Regardless, Ikkaku continued to swing his zanpakuto at Ichigo and struggled to keep up with the boy. Despite how Ichigo looked, he wasn't overly agile but his reflexes made it tricky to move at the same speed.
"What's wrong Ikkaku?" Ichigo asked as he parried Ikkaku's attack. "Are you old and slow?" he asked.
Ikkaku gritted his teeth and swung his zanpakuto at Ichigo who wrapped his chain around it. Ikkaku tried to adjust his position and loosen his hold of his zanpakuto. As both weapons could extend themselves with chains, Ikkaku repositioned himself to pull it out. Ichigo couldn't move his sickles as easily because of their length.
Ikkaku managed to pull out his weapon and threw the blunt end towards Ichigo's face. Ichigo ducked underneath but didn't react quickly enough as Ikkaku appeared in front of him with the blade side aimed for him.
'Switch!' Ichigo thought as his zanpakuto turned into a lance.
Ikkaku was confused and wondered if Ichigo revealed his shikai but remembered that Ichigo's zanpakuto had already changed forms when it became a sickle and chain. His mind was filled with confusion as he couldn't assume that Ichigo used a secondary technique like he did by turning his zanpakuto into a three section staff.
This distraction allowed Ichigo to shove Ikkaku away. When Ikkaku came back to his senses and tried to strike Ichigo while he recovered. He threw a section of his zanpakuto at Ichigo again who tried to block it. Ikkaku wrapped his zanpakuto around the staff, but Ichigo twirled his lance. This wouldn't have been an issue had Ichigo not transformed his zanpakuto again, this time appearing as a scimitar.
As a result of being too close, Ichigo released a great amount of reiryoku onto Ikkaku. Ikkaku was blinded by a bright blue light that quickly died down and struck him sideways from the shoulder to his lower torso. As Ikkaku fell, he saw that his zanpakuto had been broken in half.
"I've got bad luck." Ikkaku whispered as he couldn't move.
Ana and Asterios then stepped forward again.
"Is he defeated?" Ana asked.
"I think he is." Ichigo answered. "Actually, while we're here. Let's see if we can get anything out of him." He said.
Ikkaku glared at Ichigo, "I'm telling you nothing." He said, trying to sound tough.
"Asterios." Ichigo said.
Ikkaku cried out in pain as Asterios started tugging on his arms roughly.
"What do you want!?" Ikkaku asked.
"Where is Rukia Kuchiki?" Ichigo asked.
"What do you want with that traitor? She's trash." Ikkaku said.
Ichigo gave Ikkaku a serious gaze, "Rukia is not trash. Her drawings are trash." He said, making Ikkaku laugh.
"Okay, that we can agree on! BWAHAHA!" Ikkaku laughed. "So what do you want to know?" He asked.
"Tell me where she is so I can save her." Ichigo asked, only for Ikkaku to laugh harder. "Asterios, do you mind motivating him some more?" He asked.
"AHHH! HE'S ENLARGING MY WOUNDS!" Ikkaku screamed.
Ana decided to jab the bottom of her scythe on Ikkaku's shoulder wound, "Tell us what Ichigo wants to know." She said seriously.
"What the heck is this scary girl? Who gave her a scythe?" Ikkaku asked before Ana pressed her scythe into his shoulder some more. "She's in the White Tower, that's where she should still be! Just follow these directions!" He said.
Ichigo took note of the directions as he listened closely. He signaled for the two servants to stop torturing Ikkaku before they do some permanent damage. Ikkaku was lucky that Ichigo didn't summon someone more sadistic, like Ana's adult self.
"Thanks, you're a really nice guy." Ichigo said lamely.
Ikkaku sighed as he held his wounded shoulder, "Since you beat me, I might as well give you this advice. You better watch out for my captain, he loves the thrill of fighting. He hates weaklings and might target you if you prove to be tough enough." He explained.
"Your captain? What's his name and what does he look like?" Ichigo asked as Ana prepared to torture him some more.
"His name is Kenpachi Zaraki, captain of the 11th division. It shouldn't be too difficult to notice the big guy with an eyepatch. Our vice captain is likely hanging around him like she always does." Ikkaku explained.
Ichigo nodded and prepared to leave when Mash arrived with Mordred and Ganju behind her.
"Senpai!" She called out.
Ikkaku noticed how unscathed they were, "I take it that Yumichikia also lost?" He asked.
"Yeah, he was just a scrub." Mordred said with a scoff.
"We're the fifth and third seats of the 11th squads." Ikkaku said.
"I don't know what that means and I don't care." Mordred said as she hung her sword over her shoulder. "So are we ready to go?" She asked.
"Yeah, let's move quickly." Ichigo said as he led the way.
Ikkaku managed to raise his head and watched as Ichigo's group left. He wondered if all of the Ryoka were as tough as him. Not realizing that he was fighting not only a unique human, but one who literally saved humanity by visiting fractured points in history. It didn't help that Ikkaku also got his butt kicked by two monsters from Greek mythology.
'What the hell kind of zanpakuto was that anyways?' Ikkaku wondered as he doubted Ichigo's shikai alone had allowed for multiple transformations.
As for Ichigo, he seemed to make a good headway before turning a corner and finding a whole group of shinigami from squad 11.
"That must be them!" One of the shinigami shouted.
Asterios just growled as he rushed at the shinigami. All of them drew their zanpakuto but didn't have the chance to land a blow. Asterios wildly swung his axes around, leaving a bloody mess of shinigami that he mowed down. While Asterios didn't end up killing anyone, the 11th squad looked like they were run over by a lawn mower.
"You know, I'm starting to think that these guys are the mobs." Mordred said.
Then suddenly, another shinigami tried to run towards Mordred with great speed. Only for the Knight of Rebellion's fist to collide with their face.
"Try not to focus on fighting. My mana is still a mess, so you guys won't be at your best." Ichigo said.
Mordred scoffed, "You probably would have been fine just summoning me or the minotaur alone." She said.
Asterios angrily growled at Mordred.
"Don't call him that." Ichigo said.
Ana gently patted Asterios' arm, "Don't listen to her. You are a good person." She said with a smile.
Asterios swung his blade right above Ana's head, resulting in him hitting another shinigami that was rushing at her. In return, Ana side stepped and swung her scythe towards a shinigami who extended his palm.
"Hadou #… AHH!" The shinigami cried out in pain as Ana's scythe slashed at his chest.
"Are those two friends or something?" Mordred asked.
"Asterios did have a good relationship with Euryale. Perhaps Ana is trying to be friendly with him." Mash said.
"Speaking of cooperation, we better keep an eye out for Chad, Ishida and Inoue. I better summon Ikaros just in case." Ichigo said as he threw a green magic stone into the air.
The stone exploded and summoned an ethereal eagle in its place. Ganju whistled as he looked somewhat impressed.
"Is that thing going to be our eyes in the sky?" Ganju asked.
"Yeah, he'll let me know if he sees anyone else." Ichigo answered as they made their way towards the tower.
"Oh no!" Mash exclaimed.
"What happened?" Ana asked.
"Fou is gone! I just realized he isn't with us!" Mash said frantically.
Ichigo groaned while Mordred just rolled her eyes.
"Where did that stupid squirrel go?" Mordred asked.
With Zaraki
Elsewhere, Kenpachi Zaraki was looking all over the Seireitei for Ichigo or any of his friends. Instead, all he found were dead ends and kept repeatedly running into them. The shinigami captain is almost as bad at finding directions as a certain green haired pirate swordsman.
"Ken-chan, I have to be honest with you. I think someone built a wall here so you could get distracted." Yachiru said.
"Remind me to bring up this annoying architecture at the next captains meeting." Zaraki said.
"Okay! Now how do you spell art-I-culture?" Yachiru asked as she got a notepad.
"Forget it, I'll… what is that?" Zaraki asked as he looked up and saw Ikaros flying in the distance.
"A ghost? But we're in the Soul Society. Is it a super ghost?" Yachiru asked.
Zaraki scratched the back of his head as he studied it, "I'm going to check it out. Just in case." He said as he walked towards Ikaro's flight path.
With Matsumoto
Lieutenant Rangiku Matsmoto of the 10th division was not a weak and incompetent shinigami who relied on her position to give her the authority to be lazy. She was generally a laid back person who liked to slack off, but it doesn't make her a bad person. Lieutenant Marechiyo Omaeda is a lot worse and a lot more pathetic.
However, that did not make Rangiku any more reliable despite the situation. Right now, she was just overlooking things for her squadron while drinking a bottle of sake.
"Who in their right mind is crazy to just break into the seireitei of all places?" Rangiku asked loudly.
"Fou!"
Rangiku stopped drinking and looked around in confusion. She wondered if someone spoke up or if there was a random noise nearby.
"Fou!"
The busty shinigami looked around and spotted Fou looking up at her. Matsumoto then looked around for a moment before realizing Fou was really here. She was confused by what animal Fou was as he looked too exotic.
"Please don't tell me you're something that escaped Captain Kurotsuchi's lab." Rangiku asked.
Fou just tilted his head, "Fou! Fou!" He said.
"Fou? Is that your name?" Rangiku asked.
"Fou!" Fou answered.
"Okay, uh… are you some kind of dog or something? A weasel maybe?" Rangiku asked.
Fou rolled on his back and started kicking his feet. Rangiku just snickered as she put down her sake and bent down to reach for him.
"Okay, I get it. You're cute. Come on, let me get you a snack before my captain drops a load of work on me." Rangiku said as she picked him up.
"Fou?" Fou asked.
"Yeah, this kid named Toshiro was actually my kohai but for some reason. I got passed up for the rank of captain. Meh, more work for him." Rangiku said before looking for some snacks to feed Fou with.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Omake: Amazons
For some, the best way to describe Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi is that he is a mad scientist. Of course, Mayuri isn't unstable to the point he can barely speak or function, but this declaration of insanity is just his lack of morality. Then again, it's not as if there is anyone who tries to stop him.
The Shinigami of the Soul Society aren't superheroes and defenders of justice. Rather, they are peacekeepers and sometimes they do things that may not seem right to others to uphold their laws. In this case, no one is going to bother to stop Mayuri from finishing with the construction of a reactor in one of his labs.
"Now, let me see what I can create from such technology." Mayuri said, having finished the construction from plans that he received from Urahara.
Speaking about morales again, despite Urahara being exiled and forced to stay in the human world. The Central 46 didn't exactly go after him to strip him of his power like they intended to before someone helped him escape. Regardless, Mayuri's predecessor still had some use and with that he was able to get the plans for the reactor from Urahara.
It was a strange talk, but Mayuri's little spies were able to get him a copy after a long talk with the man. He didn't know if Urahara was doing it to mess with him or if the bucket hat wearing man just decided to give away powerful sources of technology. It didn't matter, Mayuri still decided to modify some plans because he thought his way would be better.
"And this is much more efficient. Nemu activate the platform, we can begin our testing now!" Mayuri commanded.
His "daughter" nodded and started fiddling with one of the consoles. After a few minutes, the reactor started to do its job and transferred energy to the platform. After that, everything began to overheat but a blinding flash came from the platform. Most of the 12th division took cover and voiced their concerns but Mayuri and Nemu stood their ground as the former looked intrigued.
"What have you discovered, Kisuke Urahara?" Mayuri asked as the blinding flash released a powerful pulse of energy. "It better not have been a bomb!" He shouted before the light died down.
For a brief moment, Mayuri saw what he initially believed to be a wormhole or a literal tear in space and time. Then he saw the object expand and several large individuals with high amounts of energy came walking out. Luckily for Mayuri, he was wearing goggles to avoid blinding himself from an accident such as the bright light.
He then removed them as he wanted to study the individuals. He expected some sort of creature or something strong, but instead he found a race of tall warrior women.
"What is this place? All metal and so small." One of them asked.
"You are in my laboratory. Now tell me, who are you?" Mayuri asked.
"We are amazon women of Amazonia!" One answered.
"We just grooming hair and trying new skinned dresses when we saw a big hole in the air." Another answered.
Mayuri tapped his fingers against the console in thought, "I see, a race of prehistoric females of another world." He said.
"And what animal are you?" One asked.
Mayuri didn't show any emotion to that question, "What did you just ask me?" He asked.
"Me think he is talking zebra." Another said.
Some of the 12th division snickered when they heard that. Mayuri looked somewhat offended but tried to put that aside.
"Could you all tell me about your culture?" Mayuri asked, hoping to gain something from this conversation.
"We play basketball with fellow amazons." One answered.
"We don't dunk but it about good fundamentals. Fundamentals are more fun." Another answered.
Mayuri felt confused, "I always assumed not dunking was a defect on Nemu's part." He said.
Speaking of Nemu, the woman was trying to dunk a donut but kept hitting everything else. So she resorted to bringing her coffee to the donut. Unfortunately, this ended with the coffee spilling out and hitting someone else in the face with the hot liquid.
"But most importantly, all men on our planet are extinct." One of the amazons said.
"Not a bad thing, but we still need them." A second amazon said.
"What for?" Mayuri asked despite having some theories.
"Snu-Snu!" The women answered together.
"Now we look for good men. Not animals like him." One amazon said as she pointed at Hiyosu.
Hiyosu felt uncomfortable being called an animal, but at least he wasn't alone as the amazons think Mayuri is a zebra due to his face paint. Unfortunately, the amazons decided to break down the walls and look for any attractive man they could find.
"Perhaps this was not a good idea." Mayuri said.
Elsewhere
The shinigami were scrambling around the seireitei as they received word of an attack that had taken place. They weren't given the details of what Mayuri did, let alone know that he's responsible. All the shinigami knew was that they had to deal with the new threat that arrived at the seireitei.
When they spotted the massive muscular female warriors, the shinigami sprang into action.
"These men are weak." One amazon said before swatting several shinigami with a club.
The shinigami continued to surround the amazons but found them to be quite durable. With many amazons receiving bad cuts, but nothing a few bandages wouldn't cure. However, it was much worse for the shinigami as they felt like they were being crushed by rocks.
"None of these men are good enough for having Snu-Snu." Another amazon said.
The amazons finished off the wave of shinigami that they defeated. Soon enough, Hanataro Yamada had come walking into the road where the battle took place and saw the amazons towering over him. He fell onto his butt and looked very afraid.
"Ah… ah…" is all Hanataro said.
"This one looks more lady than man." An amazon commented.
"We keep looking then." Another said before moving onwards.
A few minutes later
Yamamoto was not sure why he let the three individuals in front of him become captains. He wasn't sure if he was going soft or if he was senile or becoming stupid. In front of him were Zaraki, Byakuya and Shunsui who seemed to have lost their captain's coats.
"Do I need to staple them onto you!?" Yamamoto yelled.
"I wouldn't go that far, Captain Yamamoto." Shunsui said sheepishly.
"In my defense, I should stop letting Yachiru do the laundry. Not that Kuchiki has an excuse, he's probably never washed his own hair." Zaraki said.
Byakuya chose to ignore the remarks as well as Yamamoto's rant.
"I think it's time you idiots all face disciplinary action!" Yamamoto yelled before a pair of Amazons walked by the window.
"That one is too old but look." One of them said.
"Yes, the ones next to the man with crazy hair look handsome." The second said.
"Captain, what are those?" Shunsui asked.
The amazons suddenly busted their hands through the window and dragged Shunsui and Byakuya away. Shunsui went screaming but Byakuya went fighting with no success. Leaving Yamamoto to sigh as he stared at Zaraki.
"Those boys are going to get their pelvises crushed. As for you Zaraki, your division can do everyone's laundry for a month." Yamamoto said.
Zaraki frowned, "I wish I was the one getting my pelvis crushed instead of doing laundry." He said as he left the room.
At the lab
Mayuri was working on fixing his machine when the amazons returned with several men. Besides Byakuya and Shunsui, the amazons took Shuhei, Jushiro and for whatever reason, Sajin.
"Keep hold of that one. He's the most beautiful." The amazon leader said as she pointed at Saijin.
"Unhand me at once!" Sajin yelled.
"And he's a fighter. He's going to make good Snu-Snu." The leader said.
"Mayuri help us!" Shunsui shouted.
"I have no tools for combating hormonal underdeveloped women." Mayuri said.
"Zebra man, open doorway to home. We must bring men to femputer before we iniate Snu-Snu." The leader said.
Mayuri groaned, "I am not a zebra." He said before activating the platform again. "Now hopefully I can adjust the positioning before the men get their pelvises crushed." He said.
"Mayuri, you useless…" Byakuya said before he and the other men were taken away.
Mayuri scoffed, "I am not the one who was abducted to be a pleasure toy." He said. "Now, Nemu go… Nemu? Where did that girl go now?" He asked.
On Amazonia
Nemu was currently dribbling a basketball before shooting into the basket.
"Good aim, but work on form. Otherwise, back will break like a crunchy pretzel." The Amazon coach said.
Nemu nodded before picking up her basketball. From then on, the shinigami's women's league will form a basketball team.
END OF OMAKE