Kriegstag 2, Sixth Lunar Disappearance, 50 CE | The Owl House
Peace and quiet was a rarity in the Owl House, but with King dozing off on the couch and her daugh her apprentice off running around with Goops at Hexside, Eda finally had some time to herself. Claiming the kitchen table as her work station, the Owl Lady reached into her hair and withdrew one of her purchases from last night: a large picture frame. She then reached in again and brought out Luz's shed, carefully laying it out on the table. Flipping the frame over, Eda took the back cover off and slid the stock photo out after turning the little tabs holding it in place. Looking at the photo, she saw a witch laughing happily with her two children. Eda stared at the picture a few seconds too long before she crumpled it up and set it ablaze with a quick spell circle.
Yeah, right. Like that'll ever happen. Luz was her apprentice and King was her roommate, and that was all they would ever be. But, then again, the basilisk had called her "Mamá" on multiple occasions now, and she had practically raised King for the last 8 years or so. Even though they were as close as could be, when Eda was doing her potions apprenticeship and training with Ms. Sarrasri, Titan rest her soul, she had never once slipped up and called "Mom". As for King, well, Eda was pretty sure that there weren't many 8 year olds living with a 43 year old unless they were… family. Whether she liked it or not, Eda had to admit that she cared deeply about both of those kids.
Titan, this is all so confusing. The Owl Lady let out a groan and buried her face in her hands.
After a few seconds of silence, Eda recomposed herself up and focused back on the task at hand. She first smoothed the skin as best she could, gently squeezing out the folds and wrinkles until it all laid flat on the table. She then laid the skin over the picture frame. The frame itself was smaller than the skin, so there would need to be some folding for it all to fit. Once the skin was neatly folded and completely inside the frame, Eda replaced the back panel of the frame and turned the notches so that it would all stay put.
Luz was going to love this.
Eda grabbed the picture frame and carried it into the living room. Where should she hang it? After some careful deliberation (read: finding the only place where the frame would fit), she decided that the best spot for it was right next to her own framed wanted poster. After roughly jamming a nail into the wall, she balanced the frame on the nail so that the shed was perfectly upright.
As Eda looked at her apprentice's molten skin hanging on the wall, though, she came to a realization. While the Owl Lady was all that and then some when it came to being the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles, she knew diddly squat about actually teaching the finer points of spell-casting and magic in general.
Letting out a begrudging sigh, Edalyn Clawthorne finally accepted that it was time to enroll her daughter/student at Hexside School of Magic and Demonics.
As Gus showed Luz around campus, the basilisk couldn't help but notice the strange figures patrolling the hall. Every so often, she would see them dragging students off to some unknown location with a hook. Finally, as the two sat down for lunch, her curiosity got the best of her and she needed to know what was going on.
"Hey, Gus?" Luz asked between bites of her sandwich. She was still was getting used to the new raspier voice that came out of her mouth.
"Yeah, Alex?" Gus was adamant about keeping Luz's cover, so he never referred to her by her actual name.
"What's with the weird eyeless guys who keep smelling students?" One of said weird figures had gotten awfully close to Luz when she and Gus were heading to the cafeteria.
"Oh, those are just the trouble guards, don't mind them," Gus explained. "Bump always brings them in when the Emperor's Coven is going to inspect the school soon. He's usually pretty lax with the rules, and he'll let stuff slide if it isn't too serious. Like, yeah, if you try and fight someone you'll get in trouble, but if your uniform isn't following dress code or whatever, he'll typically turn a blind eye."
"So, Bump brings these guys in to crack down on fights and stuff?" Luz wished Gravesfield High was like that. The teachers and the singular resource officer they staffed were apparently blind when it came to a student being in distress.
"Pretty much. Fights, rule breaking, stuff like that," Gus replied.
Another question popped into Luz's head. "Wait, would they be… activated, or whatever, if I broke a rule? Like, I'm not a student."
"Eh, I'd rather not find out," Gus responded.
"That's probably a good idea," Luz agreed.
The next few minutes of their lunch were of peaceful silence, until a new voice grated against Luz's eardrums.
"Hello, Augustus," Mattholomule introduced himself, practically slamming his lunch tray down onto the table.
"Hi, Matt," Gus replied, not even bothering to turn his head and look the new arrival in the eye.
"So, this is the 'human' you're bringing in to verify my 100% genuine artifacts?" Matt looked Luz up and down with a smirk on his face.
"Yes. Her name is Alex, and she has very kindly –" Gus began.
"The illusion isn't even that good," Matt interrupted. "You know, for being a so-called expert, you got a lot of things wrong. For starters, human hair doesn't come in that color, and the irises are far too bright. Oh, and don't even get me started on that outfit."
Luz took a deep breath and calmed herself down. Man, she wanted to punch this kid in the face so hard. Nobody talks bad about her friends.
"Oh my god, do you ever shut up?" she asked rhetorically. This kid obviously loved hearing the sound of his own voice.
Matt gasped. "So the illusion can speak. Well, at least you got one thing right, Augustus."
"Gus," she said, emphasizing her friend's preferred name, "is an awesome illusionist, and he didn't do anything wrong. Do you want to know why? Because I'm not an illusion! I'm a human!"
"You sure don't look like one," Matt responded flatly.
Under the table, Luz balled her fists, clenching and unclenching them so they weren't being planted in this bozo's face. "It's called hair dye and contact lenses, ever heard of 'em? God forbid I want to express myself."
"Still doesn't explain the ears. You could just be some random witch Augustus paid off to pose as a human. Those round ears could just be an illusion. I'm not convinced." Matt crossed his arms in defiance.
Luz slowly exhaled. I will not punch this kid in the face. I will not punch this kid in the face. I will NOT punch this kid in the face. "Alright, that's fine," she said, forcing a smile and putting on a faux cheery voice. "You can go on believing whatever lie you're telling yourself. When I prove your artifacts are junk, maybe you'll think otherwise, though."
With a grunt, Matt picked up his lunch tray and went to go sit at another table, leaving Gus and Luz to eat their lunch in peace. Pushing her own tray over to the side, Luz folded her arms on the table and rested her chin on her forearms.
"Sorry about that," Luz apologized. "I think I went a little overboard. I just really hate bullies."
"Don't be sorry," Gus said. "We'll all feel better once we show up to the meeting and prove Matt wrong in front of everybody."
For the second time that day, someone came barging into Principal Bump's office. Though he initally assumed it was going to be Miss Noceda, it was actually her mentor that came through his doors unannounced. Without even saying a word, Edalyn flipped the chair in front of her around and then straddled it, crossing her arms over the back of the chair and looking Bump in the face.
"Let me talk to ya, Bumpykins," she started.
"Don't call me that," the principal replied instinctively. "Also, why are you even here?"
Edalyn grabbed his nameplate and began tossing it from hand to hand. "What, no chit chat?"
"I'd rather not, thank you. I am quite busy today," Bump explained. Spinning a quick spell circle, he righted the chair and returned his nameplate back to his desk.
"Psh, you're no fun," the Owl Lady responded after she had flipped back around to face the principal. She took a deep breath and blew a strand of hair out of her face before continuing. "I'm here to enroll my… apprentice Luz at Hexside. Now, before you start acting all defensive –"
"Took you long enough," Bump interrupted.
"You son of a – Wait, what?" Edalyn was shocked that the principal had apparently been waiting for this to happen.
Bump rose from his seat and walked over to a file cabinet, unlocking it and pulling out a stack of files. "I've seen how Miss Noceda acts with members of our student body," he said. "She would fit in perfectly as a student here. You know, if you didn't barge in just now, I would have most likely offered Miss Noceda a spot here by the end of the day regardless."
"Hold up, really?" The Owl Lady had a look of amazement on her face.
"Yes, really," Bump replied as he returned to his seat. He then slammed the files down on his desk. "Though, since you're here, I have something I'll need you to do first before I consider handing over the application."
Eda stared at the files. She recognized each and every one of them. Though, she couldn't help but feel that something was off.
"Huh, I thought there'd be more," she said with a smirk.
"Thank you all for coming on such short notice to this emergency meeting," Gus began. "Given this morning's, ehem, 'incident', I've pulled a few strings and I would like to introduce you to…"
"Alex" sprinted into the room and started running laps around the HAS members, the theme from Ricky blaring from her phone, which she held aloft like a torch.
"Alex Zura, a real human!" Gus finished.
"Alex" paused the song and stopped to catch her breath. Man, she thought that running for her life on the daily would give her better cardio, but, alas, that was not the case. She held up a finger, taking in deep breaths. Once she had fully recouped her energy, she introduced herself to the club members.
"Hey, everyone! I'm Alex, and Gus here has brought me in to help verify the authenticity of some artifacts. Is that right?" She turned to Gus to make sure everything was going to plan, to which he slightly nodded.
"That's right, Alex," Gus confirmed. "We don't want to waste any more of your time, as I know you have a very busy schedule, so would you be willing to start doing the verification now?"
"I would love to, Mr. Porter." "Alex" moved to approach the table, which contained both artifacts brought forth by Gus and by Matt. Luz could instantly tell that the "artifacts" that Matt had provided were a bunch of fakes. It was nearly comical how phony they looked. She had to ham it up for the crowd, though, so "Alex" first examined one of Gus' artifacts.
Picking up an empty bag of potato chips (which had been mistakenly labelled as a "pillow case"), "Alex" scrutinized the bag, looking at it from every which angle, sniffing the contents, and even wiping a speck of salt from the bottom of the bag and tasting it.
"After a cursory analysis, I have confirmed that this article did, indeed, come from my realm," she proclaimed.
"Score 1 for Augustus!" Bo shouted. Gus gave a fist pump in celebration, and Matt let out a small growl that Gus' objects were actually real.
Moving to the next artifact on the table, "Alex" picked up a "gulf ball" and looked it over. Luz had to admit that this one at least was somewhat correct. It was a roughly spherical rock that had been painted white and had a few small holes drilled into it. If she was being completely honest, this looked like something she could find in the garbage.
"Hmm… This artifact is significantly harder, as it lacks any distinctive Human realm-only features," she began. "As such, I can not rightly state whether this is from the Human Realm or not."
"That's snorse dung you [CENSORED]!" Matt shouted, rising to his feet and pointing a finger at "Alex". "That is a real human artifact! Titan, are you even an actual human? Go ahead, Augustus, drop her illusion. Show us who she really is!"
"You want me to show who I really am? Fine. How's this?" Luz didn't care about keepig up the act anymore. She was pissed at this kid. All at once, the years of bullying and torment that she had went through came flooding back to her. Every snide comment, every backhanded insult, every little quip. They all came back. "Esto es una roca, idiota. Te han estafado. No es una 'pelota de gulf'. Esa ni siquiera es la palabra correcta. El deporte es 'golf', con una 'o'!" ["This is a rock, you idiot. You've been scammed. It isn't a 'gulf ball'. That's not even the right word. The sport is 'golf', with an 'o'!"] As she finished her rant, Luz cocked her arm back and threw the rock as hard as she could at the room's window. The glass instantly shattered, and the "gulf ball" sailed through the air before rolling to a stop a solid twenty paces away.
The room was silent, save for Luz's heavy breathing.
Suddenly, the trouble guards burst into the room, grabbing both Luz and Matt in their hooks before dragging them away. As the two troublemakers were being sent off to the detention pit, Matt kept trying to plead innocence. His pleading wasn't working well though.
"Let me go, you [CENSORED]! I didn't do anything wrong! It's all Augustus' and that [CENSORED] fault! He should be the one going to the detention pit, not me! Hey! Are you even listening to me, [CENSORED]-for-brains?"
Needless to say, if Matt didn't have a one-way trip to the detention pit then, he sure did now.
Eda groaned as she wheeled over the mop and bucket. Bump now had her cleaning off all the hexed graffiti she'd tagged the lockers with over the years. While they were some of the finest works of her younger years, she hated to see all that effort get washed away.
This is for Luz. I'm doing this all for Luz. It'll be worth it when this is all over. The Owl Lady repeated that mantra over and over in her head as she made up for all the chaos she had caused.
As the door to the detention pit slammed shut, Matt instantly tried prying it back open for an easy escape. The door didn't budge. After kicking the door in frustration, Matt let out another string of curses before slumping to the ground in defeat.
"Do you kiss your momma with that mouth?" Luz asked sarcastically. While Luz wasn't quite sure what they meant, Eda was particularly fond of dropping some very spicy Boiling Isles swear words when something went wrong with a potion, and it looks like Matt had a similar potty mouth.
"Buzz off," the Construction track witch replied. Ignoring the command, Luz walked over to stand in front of Matt and offered him a hand up, but he didn't take it, leaving her hanging.
After the rejection, Luz crossed her arms and looked down at the witch. "Look, man. I'm just trying to help you out, okay? We're both in detention, and that sucks. Can we at least work together so we can get out of here in one piece?" She offered her hand once again.
Matt stared at the offered help up before exhaling sharply. "Fine, but I take the lead." He pulled himself to his feet, looking annoyed the whole time at the prospect of getting help from someone posing as a human.
A rumble shook the entire detention pit as the ground in front of the two began to separate, revealing a massive hole lined with a fleshy pink material and row upon row of eyes and teeth. Deep into the pit, Luz could see various students, all trapped in weird blue cocoons made out of an odd jelly.
"Starting already? Wow, they don't mess around here," Matt said. He then turned to Luz and added, "Now would be a really good time to drop your disguise."
The basilisk laughed. She couldn't believe it. "You're still telling yourself that? Newsflash, buddy, I don't have a disguise to drop. I don't have pointy ears. I can't cast magic spells by drawing a circle with my finger. I. Am. A. HUMAN!"
Matt froze. "Wait, really?"
"YES!" Luz screamed in frustration.
All the witch could respond with was a short "Huh."
Suddenly, a giant snake creature with a human-like face reared up from the pit. The face itself was a sickly gray color, but the body of the snake thing was olive green and had rings of black going down the length it.
"Oh yeah, the Gehirnwäscheschlangen. Forgot about those," Matt said as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
"I'm sorry, the what?" Luz had no idea what the witch had just said.
The creature opened its mouth, and a long, slimy tongue shot out, wrapping around Matt's ankle before dragging him down to the bottom of the pit at a speed which Luz could barely even comprehend.
"Oh my god, Matt!" Luz shouted. Another one of the snake monsters rose from the pit and turned to face Luz, but before it could trap her as well, she punched it on the snout, causing it to retreat. Cursing her mother for instilling such good values in her, Luz jumped into the pit after Matt.
Bouncing off a stray eyeball and landing on her feet, Luz looked for the pod that held Matt. As it floated by over head, she quickly tore it down and set it on the ground. She needed to get him out of this thing.
YOU WILL BE A GOOD STUDENT, a disembodied voice said.
"I will be a good student," Matt repeated.
Letting out a growl, Luz tried to rip the pod open with her bare hands, but she couldn't find purchase. She needed something sharp, and Luz knew just the morph for the job. Quickly shapeshifting into the Kraugh, she used her wrist blade to slice open Matt's pod. Draping the boy over her shoulder, she was surprised at how light he was. She felt like he barely weighed more than a duck! Or maybe she was just strong. That was probably it.
Nevertheless, Luz began quickly scaling the walls of the detention pit, using her wrist blades like pitons, slamming them into the side of the pit as she ascended. As a bonus, each time she drove a wrist blade into the pit, the Gehirnwäscheschlangen would slink away, further and further from the giant bladed monster the higher she climbed. Once she reached the top of the pit, she dragged herself over the edge and clambered to her feet. She took a few deep breaths. Man, that climb had taken a lot out of her.
There was no way she was going to stay trapped in this room, so she had to find a way to bust down that door. The Kraugh, while good for fighting off the brain-washing snake things and climbing and such, wasn't exactly built for causing massive property damage. Running through a list of animals in her mind, Luz eventually settled on one: the rhinoceros. Though she was tired, Luz powered through it and eventually finished the morph, though it was a slow process. Adjusting Matt so that he was on her back, Luz backed up a few paces before charging, full speed, at the door to the outside world.
The door flew off its hinges as Luz barreled through. Now that the two of them were free, Luz finally laid down. As she did so, her body decided that it was time to take a quick nap. As Matt rolled off her back and faceplanted on the tiled floor, Luz blissfully entered the realm of Sunshine Sleepy Fun Time.
"Edalyn?"
"What is it now, Bumperoni?"
"Would you care to explain why there is an unconscious student next to an obese gray unicorn just outside the detention pit with the door broken on the other side of the hallway?"
Steve rapped three times on the door to Matt's bedroom. He had taken his annual day off today so he could surprise his younger brother with a visit. Ma had said on a CB call that Matty was finally switching over to Hexside, and that today was his first day. Steve would be a fool if he was gonna miss that.
"Go away, I don't wanna talk," came Matt's voice from the other side of the door.
Well, that doesn't sound right, Steve thought. What could have Matty in such a bad mood?
Steve waited a few seconds to let the tension build before replying. "Really? Not even to me?"
Steve heard a loud THUMP, presumably from Matty falling out of bed, followed by the sound of his younger sibling running to open the door. The coven scout chuckled at his sibling's enthusiasm.
"Hey, dude," Steve greeted casually with a wave, as if nothing was out of the ordinary and this wasn't the first time he'd seen Matty in-person in over a year.
Matt quickly wrapped his older brother up in a hug. "Steve!"
Steve laughed, reciprocating the embrace. "That's my name, so don't wear it out!"
Breaking off the hug, Matt had a million questions. "How… how are you here? Why are you here? Did you sneak out of Emperor Belos' castle? Are you gonna get in trouble?"
"Relax, Matt. I just took my day off," Steve explained.
"Oh." Matt realized that that made a lot more sense than Steve sneaking out of the castle.
"So, how've ya been? How'd your first day at Hexside go? Did anyone beat my record for most healing ward visits yet?" Steve replied, asking his own volley of questions.
Matt groaned. "Ugh, today was awful. You know how Hexside has a Human Appreciation Society?"
Steve nodded. While he wasn't as gung-ho about humans as Matty was, he would always be willing to listen to his younger brother ramble on about some human artifact he had found on the beach or had bought at the market.
"Well, I attended their meeting today and wanted to show off all the cool artifacts I've collected, but then Augustus got all hot and bothered when I didn't think his so-called 'artifacts' were the real-deal. His stuff looked so fake! But then he brought in this human, and she called all of my artifacts fakes, and then started talking in this weird language, and we got thrown in detention, and –" Matt rambled.
The coven scout held up a hand to stop Matt. "Hold on, there was a human at Hexside? Tell me everything."