Payton
I stare at Kate, I'm not entirely sure what to say or what to think, and I'm trying my hardest to not look shocked, "I just wanted to tell you because I care." She tells me in that sweet sickly voice she has, "I mean what happened in Tulsa is really screwed up, and I would hate for your perfect reputation to get ruined because of him." She pauses, "I mean what would Stanford think if they knew that was the kind of person you're dating. Better to just end it now before it gets too serious." She gives me a rather awkward pat on the arm, "Trust me you'll thank me later." She says before turning on her heels and heading over to her group of mindless followers.
"What the hell was that about?" Ali says grabbing my arm and dragging me outside, I knew that coming to this party was a bad idea, call it intuition. "Payton." Ali says her voice sounding unusually concerned, she snaps her fingers in front of my face,
"I'm ok." I manage to get out, Ali looks at me and I know she knows I'm lying,
"Do you want me to go get Pony?" I shook my head immediately, I had lost him somewhere in the crowd and I'm not sure I could handle seeing him right now, "Robbie? Sawyer?" Ali asks, "You're scaring me." I take a long slow deep breath holding it before letting it out.
"I'm good Ali." I say once I feel calmer, more in control of myself.
"I will go in there and kick Kate's ass." Ali tells me, "What did she tell you that got you all worked up?" I look at the face of my best friend, her dark eyes showing only concern, and it's on the tip of my tongue, but I don't say anything.
"Ali it's fine really. Just Kate being Kate." I tell her, the last thing I want is for her to go in there and start something, the less Kate knows that she got to me the better, she's the type that as soon as you show any sort of weakness she pounces like a starving tiger or something. I look up as Pony walks over,
"Can you excuse us for a minute Ali?" He asks, she nods giving me one more look before walking away, "Robbie said Kate pulled you aside and then you looked upset." He looks at me closely, "Are you ok?"
"She um, she." I start, my voice is already shaking, "She told me what happened in Tulsa." Pony's entire face drops, "Everything." I pause,
"Pay." He starts but it's clear that he's not sure what to say,
"I just don't, understand why you would tell her but whenever I even bring it up you totally shut down." I pause wiping my eyes with the corner of my sleeve, "I thought you loved me."
"I do love you." He says softly, "I didn't tell her, I haven't told anyone, I don't know how she found out." He tells me, "I wouldn't tell Kate what I ate for dinner last night." He adds.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask,
"I don't like talking about," He says, "And honestly I thought if I told you would change your mind about me, about us, about how you feel about me." I look up at him,
"What kind of person do you think I am?" I demand suddenly feeling angry,
"One that I don't deserve." He replies, "I should have told you myself, I'm sorry that you had to find out like that." He runs his fingers through his hair, "I get if you don't want this anymore, and I wouldn't blame you." I look down suddenly super interested in my shoes, he puts two fingers under my chin tilting it up towards him, until our eyes lock, I want to look away, but I just can't. There's just something about those green eyes that can turn me into a puddle of mush and then it hits me,
"You could have died." I stammer out, tears threatening to fall, "And I realize we're sixteen and this sounds like something out of a movie, but the thought that there was a possibility that you could not be here right now, and I never would have met you scares me."
"Pay…. baby." He says softly, "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He drops my chin and pulls me in to him, holding me tightly against his chest, one hand rubbing my back the other tangled in my ponytail. I pull back slightly so I can see his face,
"I don't care what happened in Tulsa." I tell him, and I know it's true, I could careless, the only thing I care about is that he's here right now with me, "All of that made you into the person you are right now, the person I fell in love with." He gives me that half grin that makes my knees get weak, "From the first moment you told me you were starting school in September." I tease. He picks me up setting me on the deck railing which almost puts us directly at eye level which doesn't happen often, he leans in putting his arms around me, he nudges my legs open, so I'm totally pressed against him.
"I would go through all of that again if it meant ending up with you right here right now." He murmurs, leaning in rubbing his nose against mine before he covers my lips with his own.. I reach up tangling my fingers in his hair,
"I love you." I practically moan against his lips,
"I love you baby." He replies, his lips barely touching mine. Normally the whole pet name things makes me sort of want to puke, but there's something about him calling me baby that gives me butterflies and causes my knees to go weak. "I'll say this Pay," He murmurs, "If anything good came out of everything that happened, it's you."
Pony
I open the door to the apartment letting Payton step in before closing and locking the door, "We're back." I holler,
"In here." Steve calls back, I put my hand on Payton's lower back guiding her over to the living room, "You two are back early." Steve comments. Two-Bit chuckles,
"I'm sure they have much better things to do in the bedroom, right kid?" He says raising his eyebrows at me, I glance at Payton as her cheeks flush pink,
"I actually wanted to talk to you guys." I say sitting down on the loveseat pulling Payton down next to me,
"You two eloped?" Two-Bit questions tipping back his bottle of beer putting the empty bottle on the table, "She's pregnant?"
"No. Neither." I reply, I take a deep breath, "Somehow Kate found out about what happened in Tulsa." Steve drops the magazine he's reading and even Two-Bit looks surprised, "And she told Payton." I add, both of them look between her and I,
"Excuse me for a minute." Steve says standing up and going down the hallway, he comes back a few minutes later and sits back down, "Did you tell anyone?" I shake my head,
"No, I try really hard not to talk about it or think about it." I look down as I feel Payton thread her fingers through mine giving me a gentle squeeze. I feel like something shifted between us tonight, something that I can't quite put my finger on, but our relationship feels different, in the best way possible. "And there is no way I'd tell Kate." I add.
"You two good though?" Steve questions, I know he's well aware of the fear I had in telling Payton and how she'd react. I nod,
"We're good right?" I say to Payton who looks up at me,
"Perfect." She replies, "I'm just concerned that Kate will start running her mouth at school and that's not something I want you to deal with." There is something about the way Payton is looking at me that makes me want to protect her from all the harsh things in the world, even though she has every right to be pissed at me, all I see on her face is worry for me.
"I'm pretty sure her main objective was to get Payton and I to break up." I look up as Soda comes in from the front door, wearing a rather guilty expression. The two of us were able to work through our issues, but things still are sort of weird between him and Steve, I guess if nothing else they are at least back on speaking terms, and now that he's with Lindsay he's much more like the real Soda then the miserable prick he was when he was with Kate.
"I'm sorry." He says immediately, and then everything clicks,
"You told Kate." I say slowly. I say standing up, my first thought is how I'm going to kill him, Two-Bit jumps up putting one hand on my chest getting in between us, "Why would you do that?" I say through clenched teeth. Soda sighs,
"I don't know, I was stupid." He says, "I was drunk, and she started talking about Tulsa and asking all these questions and then I guess it just slipped out and I knew as soon as I told her it was a mistake, but Kate swore up and down that she wouldn't tell anyone, and I guess I believed her." He pauses, "I'm really sorry about that and everything, I really screwed up." I am so angry my hands are shaking and the urge to punch someone or something is almost overwhelming at this point.
"Well, she did tell someone." I say, "She told Payton." I try to remember what Kelly told me about breathing and what not but it's not doing any good, Soda just stares at me dumbfounded,
"I'm sorry." He says again, I shake my head, don't say anything I lean over grabbing Pay's hand pulling her towards my bedroom, I can hear Soda pleading his case to Steve and Two-Bit as I shut the door. Payton says nothing, just wraps her arms around my middle resting her head against my chest, we stand there like that until I'm calm.
"I'm going to go get a shower, you'll be ok in here for a few?" I ask Payton nods, I take a long hot shower standing under the water until the last of the anger fades away, by the time I get back to the bedroom, Payton is laying on the bed with just one of my hockey t-shirts on, and her glasses.
"You feel better baby?" She asks softly, I lay down next to her resting my head on her stomach,
"I'm good." I reply, sighing as she runs her fingers through my damp hair, "I need to catch up on reading for English lit." I tell her, she leans over grabbing a book out of my backpack, she settles back down putting her fingers back in my hair playing with it softly.
"You relax, I'll read to you." She says, I look up at her, in English Lit we're doing an entire unit on classic British Literature, we've read everything from Dickens to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, the current book is Peter Pan.
"I love you." I tell her, she leans down kissing me, as I idly start rubbing her leg, she finds the page I was on and starts reading, "You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." Payton reads and then she pauses, "For a book about a kid who flies and lives on an island with pirates who are trying to kill him, that could be the most romantic thing I have ever heard." She comments, before she continues reading, even though I know I should be paying attention, between her playing with my hair and the sound of her voice, I find myself struggling to stay awake, and without realizing it I fall asleep feeling more content than I think I ever have.