Chapter 39: Reno Calls
Yuffie stood in the kitchen in her leather crop top and cargo shorts as she continued to cut herself her fruit for breakfast as Sage and Denzel waiting patiently at the table.
She was upset, and quite visibly upset, but she did her best to hide it from the kids, even though they could tell.
"Can I help?" Sage asked from the kitchen table.
"No thanks," Yuffie replied as she continued to cut. "Those knives are dangerous."
"I'm thirteen," Sage protested. "I know how to handle a knife."
"Forget it," Yuffie grunted.
There was a reasonable small resentment toward Sage from Yuffie. For starters, Yuffie didn't fancy being a surrogate mother at eighteen, even though it was only temporary. Second, she knew Sage had a crush on Zack. Although she knew Sage didn't have a chance with him, she still saw her as a competitor.
The radio on the counter was on, and soon came the broadcast that Tifa and Denzel had heard in the former timeline.
"The commission's report released this morning has revealed that Lifestream concentration in the atmosphere has dropped to a mere hundredth of the levels two years ago and now poses no threat to the human body," the anchor announced. "However, the concentration remains toxic around the Shinra company's main building, as well as the company's mako reactors. To prevent the onset of Geostigma, the commission does advise that you stay away from these facilities and the surrounding areas. Next up: should Shinra be held financially responsible for the crisis? That story, tonight at eleven. And now, back to Romina Ronkin's Restroom Rampage."
Yuffie groaned again; she was not a fan of that show.
"Good morning, to all you cuties with a booty and all you hotties with a body!" Romina greeted. "What should I call all the hermaphrodites? Oh yeah! A Venus with a penis!"
Sage began to cover her mouth and giggle.
Yuffie folded her arms and began to glare.
"Hey!" Romina continued over the radio. "They just officially unveiled that notorious sculpture of President Strife giving birth! You know the one I'm talking about, right? She's naked on all fours, and half of Ada's head is coming out of her-"
Yuffie snapped off the radio.
"Hey!" Sage protested. "I was listening to that!"
"That's for adults only," Yuffie said.
"I know where a baby comes out of!" Sage insisted.
"And you're letting us listen to the news," Denzel added. "That's a lot more frigtening. And why is the concentration higher over here when Meteor hit the Western Continent?"
"Elevation, maybe," Yuffie replied in a neutral tone of voice.
"Seriously!" Sage finally said. "What's up your butt?"
Yuffie didn't dignify that with response. She instead kept her back turned to Sage and Denzel, with her hands on the counter.
"Well, where the hell are you, Zack?" she muttered.
He had been gone since she woke up. No note was left, and no call or text was answered.
"Watch your language," reprimanded Sage.
"I can say what I want," Yuffie sighed. "I'm a legal adult now."
"Then why won't you let me listen to Romina Ronkin?" Sage protested. "I knew about sex since I was nine."
"And I learned what a queef was from her!" Denzel added.
Yuffie smacked her forehead.
"Where is Zack, anyway?" Sage inquired.
Before she could respond, the phone began to ring.
"Yuffie Kisaragi here!" she greeted. "You got the dime? I've got the time!"
Sage heard a muffled male voice on the other side.
"Oh, hey Reno!"
Sage and Denzel could recognize the voice as his.
"Tifa?!" Yuffie replied in surprise. "No, you've misdialed. I said Yuffie, didn't I?"
The muffled voice said something.
"No, this isn't Strife Delivery Service," Yuffie sighed. "There's no such thing!"
The kids heard the muffled voice some more.
"Of course I remember you!" Yuffie snapped. "What kind of a question is that? We've done stuff!"
The male voice mumbled something.
"You don't remember anything?!" Yuffie continued. "Not even our socially distant poker game last week?"
The muffled male voice responded.
"Did you hit your head?" Yuffie asked sarcastically. "Or are you high?"
The muffled voice continued.
"Cloud?!" Yuffie replied. "Have you forgotten? He's retired. He's a stay-at-home-dad now to a toddler."
The muffled voice continued.
Then, Yuffie hung up the phone.
"How the hell does he forget that?" she sighed. "Does he have Geostigma or something?"
"Language!" Sage exclaimed.
"Jesus H. Christ!" Yuffie groaned.
"I said language!" Sage reprimanded.