Splatoon: The Bate…?
Lazy Way to Explain The Past, I Guess, Sorry!
"Perfect. Just perfect." An Inkling sighed.
A young Inkling adult, two small blue tentacles wrapped up on the back of his head by a small band fluttering ever so slightly in the wind, had two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He had a pair of Tinted Shades worn up above his eyes, dark brown eyes to be exact, the shades placed on his forehead. His clothing consisted of a Shirt and Tie, the tie undone, two halves of the tie floating on a breeze. He wore a basic pair of black shorts like every other Inkling, and a pair of Black Trainers on his feet.
The Inkling stared down at a primitive phone, tapping at buttons on it rapidly. Growling quietly, he pocketed the phone, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"...Wish I could at least get some reception." The man scowled. "They really need to start developing better technology soon."
The Inkling man stood in a plaza, or at least it seemed like some sort of plaza, watching sea creatures work. Multiple buildings were being constructed, large glass panes being transported, asphalt in the middle freshly laid down, hardening almost instantly. A sign carried by a few other Inklings was carried by, the words, "Inkopolis" and "Plaza" written in permanent ink. Among the buildings being constructed one stood tall among the most, the skeleton of a light green tower.
"Alright people!" A voice called out. "We're done for today, pack it up!"
The Inkling scoffed and watched as the workers filed out. He walked out of the small plaza and stored the phone in his shorts pocket. Walking along, he continually trudged across the sidewalk, watching buildings being created brick by brick, with the helping hands and tentacles of multiple Inklings. A few buildings had posters of young squids and a large city with a tall green tower. Several other city self-advertisements covered the walls and signposts that did exist in the flowering city. After a brisk walk through a few dirty paths, the Inkling switched into a squid form, and Super Jumped away.
Or at least he would have, if it weren't for another Inkling blocking the way.
"Hey!" A female Inkling greeted him, standing directly in front of him.
The male sighed, reverting to humanoid form. "Yeah? What is it, what do you want?"
The female seemed to be taken aback, backing up, her tentacles following. "'What is it?'. Ha! What, did you get up on the wrong side of bed this morning?"
The female grinned, her hazel eyes sparkling somewhat, her blue tentacles rippling somewhat. She wore a pair of Black Arrowbands, a plain black tee on her person, and a pair of Plum Casuals, black shorts almost matching Phish's own on her legs. She was just a smidge taller than him, or at least in Inkling form.
The male sighed, turning back into a squid, ready to jump away. "Yes, I did in fact, and the day before that, and the day before that. Now please move, you're blocking my Super Jump."
"Yeesh. Sounds like you have a rough life." She said, leaning on a building.
"Well, if you had to serve in a war against your own will, like the rest of us, then you would too." He grumbled.
"You're a war veteran? Cool! What are you doing here, then?"
"Nothing. Only did so much for our troops, couldn't splat a whole bunch of Octolings like the others. I was… Laid off. if you will."
"Really? Why?"
"Told you, I was laid off."
"Why?"
"...Because I wasn't doing a very good job."
"Why?"
"What are you, a five-year old squid?! Why do you have to ask, 'Why' after every statement?!"
"Because I'm curious." She said with such simplicity that would make a toddler blush. "What's your name?"
"And after all that, you still have the audacity to ask me my name?!" He growled.
"Yep." She said simply, smiling.
"...Persistent. You're not going to stop asking, are you?"
She didn't say anything, she just stared hopefully at him with puppy dog eyes, glaring into his soul.
He sighed. "...It's Phish, alright? Now, please, leave me alone."
"Phish what?" She asked.
"...Phish Bate, to be precise." Phish said, turning into a squid. "Goodbye."
"Bate, huh? Sounds nice… Name's Pirah! Pier-Ah, got it? Like piranha plant." She said, raising her hand to shake his, still in his way.
"...Piranha plant? Don't you mean "fish"?"
"No, silly! Isn't your name Fish?" She asked.
"Phish!" He corrected her irritably. "Phish Bate, I said."
"Ooh." Pirah said, eyeing him curiously. "You have a nice last name. Mind if I have it?"
Phish turned back into a humanoid, tilting his head with a mild redness glowing on his face. "What?!"
"Like this!" Pirah took the word, "Bate" from the sentences above, waving it around as if to test it. "Hmm, seems fitting." Pirah Bate said.
"Wha?! H-How?!" Phish stammered, reaching for his last name.
Pirah Bate giggled, running around with the name held in her head tentacles, then speeded off, waving goodbye to Phish.
Wow. You really just let that happen, didn't you.
Phish looked around. "Who said that?!"
He was answered with a gust of wind.
"Argh!" Phish groaned, running after Pirah Bate.
Phish stopped at an intersection, or at least one currently under development, and surveyed the roads. He couldn't see Pirah Bate anywhere, the streets barren save for cement sidewalk foundations.
"Hmm." Phish murmured.
"Looking for me~?" Pirah Bate said, sliding underneath Phish's legs in squid form.
"Aha!" Phish exclaimed, reaching for her, only for her to slide out of his hands.
In squid form, Pirah Bate hopped away, giggling madly. Phish growled, running after her, through the dusty streets. He chased her through the still being built city, jumping through unfinished windows and weaving past bricks in an attempt to catch the elusive Inkling female, but to no avail. This continued for quite a while, until Phish stopped to catch his breath, coincidentally by a "STOP" sign.
"Ugh." Phish groaned. "Why does EVERYONE insist on making my life so much harder?"
Phish, standing up straight after catching his breath, looked around. He sighed, walking off, discouraged by this turn of events. He figured that a last name was just a name, and that he should just let the thief go. It wasn't worth the trouble, as odd as it was.
"Hey, wait!"
Phish turned around. The squid who stole his last name stood up straight, now in Inkling form, her arms behind her back. She stared at Phish sadly.
"Y-You're leaving? Just like that?" Pirah Bate asked.
Phish nodded, turning back. "Yep. You win. Keep my last name, it's not like it matters."
"...Okay, okay, I'm sorry! You can have your name back." She told him, waving his last name.
By then, the Inkling was already gone. Pirah Bate looked around, hoping to find the other Inkling, but to no avail. She sighed, looking down at the name attached to her tentacles.
"...Bate." She read.
Little did Pirah Bate know, that the Inkling she was looking for was just above her. A blue squid flew away from Inkopolis, irritation on his face.
The Inkling landed on a familiar, yet mostly barren hillscape. He groaned, standing up and rubbing his back.
"Still can't get the Super Jump down." He complained to no one in particular.
Phish looked ahead. On top of the hill, he looked over to a house. This house was rather small, with a flat rooftop, railings installed around it. Phish walked up to the house, and opened the door. The house wasn't anything too special inside, there was a stairway leading up to a trapdoor which in turn led to the roof above. There was a small kitchen to the right, a television to the left, and a strange barren spot to the upper left, minus a dresser and alarm clock. Smack dab in the middle of the house was a small mattress.
Well don't this seem familiar?
"Agh, voices in my head." Phish groaned, lightly gripping the side of his head. "Cod, I'm going insane."
Insane? You seem perfectly alright to me.
Phish rolled his eyes, leaning on the wall of the house with one hand, an eye closed. "Yeah, well, the voice in my head doesn't seem like the most credible source."
Take my word for it, Phish, you aren't insane. If you were you would be locked up.
Phish shook his head, walking to the center of the house. Plopping down on the mattress, he sighed, looking straight up to the ceiling, then down to his chest. His tie was messily undone as always. Phish slowly closed his eyes, letting the irritation of today's chance encounter fade like it was nothing, drifting off into unconsciousness.
Phish woke up groggily. Lifting his head, he attempted to move off of the mattress. For some reason, he couldn't budge, no matter how hard he tried to get off. Phish's eyes shot open. That was because the girl from earlier was sitting on his legs.
"WHAT THE SHELL?!" He exclaimed, shifting into squid form and hopping back.
"W-Wait, hold on a minute!" She implored, reaching out.
Phish, too freaked out to listen, shifted back into Inkling form and did what most people would do if someone invaded their house. He dashed to his left into the kitchen, and grabbed a random utensil, hoping that it would be a knife. Instead, it was a frying pan.
"Oh come on!" He exclaimed, raising the frying pan in anger.
You'd be surprised at how well those things actually work.
Ignoring that, Phish turned to Pirah Bate, brandishing the pan as if it were a sword. "How'd you get in?! I was sure I left the door locked!"
"You, um, did leave it unlocked, but that's not how I got in…" She said, twiddling her fingers.
Phish lowered his "weapon". "...Huh?"
Pirah Bate looked straight up. In the ceiling, there was now a female Inkling shaped hole, shattered pieces of ceiling on the floor below. Pirah Bate giggled nervously. Phish wasn't too pleased.
"W-Well, it doesn't matter. You're trying to rob me again, aren't you?! My last name wasn't enough?!" Phish shouted.
"No, no, no! Please, hear me out! I just wanted to return something!" She said, reaching for her tentacles.
Taking the object from her tentacles, it was the name, "Bate". Pirah carefully set Phish's last name down carefully on the floor, then backed off. Phish blinked, then, sheathing his frying pan, cautiously made his way to his last name. Once he got there, he kept a careful eye on Pirah as he crouched down, then took his last name back. The name vanished out of thin air, causing Phish to recoil slightly.
"Wha- What was the point of touching it if it disappears?" He wondered aloud, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter, you-" He said, pointing to Pirah, who flinched. "Get out."
"R-Right, I'm sorry." She murmured, walking away. "I just- I'm sorry. I just wanted someone to have fun with, that's all."
Phish watched her begin to leave the house. He watched her for a moment, closing his eyes. As soon as she was about to leave the door, Phish reached a hand out.
"Hold on!"
Pirah turned back, one foot out the door. Phish sighed, gesturing for her to come back in.
"...Look, I don't know what your deal is. Blocking my way, stealing my name, and now breaking and entering." Phish said, glaring at her.
Pirah shifted slightly, crossing her legs in shame, looking away.
"So, with that being said, I can't just let you go." Phish said, crossing his arms.
Pirah blinked, looking towards Phish hopefully.
"...What are you waiting for? Get in, it's getting cold." Phish told her.
Phish wasn't prepared for getting completely tackled by Pirah, then being hugged tightly enough he was sure his tentacles would pop.
"Thank you so much! I promise to make it up to you in whatever way I can!" Pirah yelled.
Phish sighed, patting Pirah on the back. "...Thanks, Pirah."
Pirah squeezed him tighter. "You remember my name, too! That's so sweet!"
"O-Okay, please let go of me now." Phish said, gasping for breath.
Pirah didn't let up, so Phish remained in her iron grip for at least five more hours before she finally calmed down, gave him another, less lengthy hug, and hopped around for joy. Until her stomach began to rumble.
"Uh...happen to have any food?" She asked, grinning.
Phish sighed. "It's going to be one interesting day…"
Splin sighed, then stared at the ceiling of his house. "Hey, Sharq?"
"Yeah?"
"You...uh, ever wonder how our parents met?"
"No, not really, but now that you mention it, that sounds pretty cool."
Splin chuckled. "You think everything is pretty cool."
Sharq grinned. "It's what I do!"
The two brothers smiled, then stared at the ceiling.
"Alright, I'm still bothered by the strength of our ceiling."
"Yeah, me too."
AN: Uh, totally real writing fact, Phish and Pirah were originally going to be in The Bate Brothers Adventures, but I figured that the two brothers by themselves would be a little more interesting without having the parents kinda oversee them all the time. So instead, they're mysteriously missing from the universe. ...Yep.
Reviews now, questions later, thanks to Ultrapyre and Lean for reviewing! Ultrapyre, I apologize again, I'll keep the Inkanese at a minimum. Lean, that's the positive thinking we need more of in Nintendo, if I were an executive or something, you'd be hired!
Thanks for reading everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to doodle video game things! I'm off, let's roll.