Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others
Maria the Martial Arts Master
Maria watched the television screen intently. She was still somewhat annoyed with Splin and Sharq not returning home, but stopping a dinosaur and jellyfish robot from wrecking the town was for the better. But something was eating at her recently. She couldn't quite place her tentacle on it…
For those unfamiliar with the female, Maria is an Inkling woman with lime-green tentacles, garbed in a Golf Visor, White Basic Tee, and a pair of Cream Hi-Tops. She also happened to be a bit of an other dimensional squid mom with kids that have phenomenal powers. But that's a whole different story altogether. Basically, to shorten things up, in this dimension, I suppose she's technically Splin and Sharq's guardian.
However, getting that informational article out of the way, Maria continued watching the television on her luxurious feeling bed, humming a tune to herself as she surfed through the channels. Maria yawned, getting out of bed quickly, stretching. She raised the television remote, clicked the power button, and turned the television off. She laid on the bed, tiredly letting her tentacles lay by her side. Suddenly, she heard a grunting sound. She slowly rose from her comfortable bed awkwardly stuck in the middle of the house, then turned to her left. In the kitchen, Splin, was struggling, a jar clenched between his hands, the younger brother struggling with opening it.
"Splin? Do you need help?" Maria asked, tilting her head somewhat.
Splin grunted, then turned to Maria, taking his headphones off his ears, smiling gently. "No, it's fine Maria, thank you for asking though."
Maria watched Splin toil with the jar for a while.
"You...don't seem to be getting too far." Maria said, smiling in spite of what she saw.
Splin sighed. "Guess that's why Sharq asked me to open this. I don't understand why it's so difficult to open, it's just a jar!"
Splin turned into a squid, then began to slide his tentacle underneath the jar lid, pushing up with most of his might, trying to pop the lid off. Maria sighed, taking a step off her bed, into the kitchen. Walking over to the counter, she took the lid from Splin gently, and began unscrewing it, then tossed the lid off onto the counter, taking the lid off with literally no hassle whatsoever. Splin's squid eyes expanded, the blue squid falling on the ground, staring up at Maria.
"What?! How, that was-" He shouted, Maria frowning at Splin.
"Splin, that was way too easy…" Maria said with a sigh. "You need to start lifting weights or something. That was just...wow."
Splin switched to Inkling form, sitting down on the floor with his legs crossed neatly, his face glowing in embarrassment. "Hey! I'm not that weak, Maria, come on! Ask Sharq, he'll vouch for me!"
Sharq sitting on his bed raised his head. "Honestly Splin, I gotta side with Maria on this one, we aren't exactly Splat X material. We do run away. A lot."
"Tactical retreating?" Splin suggested.
"Nah, more like cowardice." Sharq said, with a grin and a shrug.
"Oh come on, Tele-Cube, Salty, you guys?" Splin asked, turning to the kitchen counter.
Tele-Cube shook itself in a head shaking motion, and Salty retreated back into his crystalline shell.
"Ann-Gel, what about you?" Splin asked out loud.
A trophy pedestal could be heard shaking. A small female figurine of an Inkling with orange tentacles with orange eyes, wearing a White Tee and a pair of Pink Trainers. This was Ann-Gel, an amiibo figure. She broke her traditional amiibo pose, clearing her throat.
"Well, to be fair Splin, the only time I ever saw you fight was in those amiibo challenges, remember? You were caught off guard a couple of times, I've noticed. Other than that, I can't really say because you really haven't...brought me anywhere to see."
"Oh, right. Sorry Ann-Gel." Splin asid.
The small figurine smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry Splin, it's pretty fun hanging out with Maria, Salty, or Tele-Cube, but do me a favor later and place me on the roof so I can get a look of the place I'm in."
"Right, I'll be sure to do that." Splin said, Ann-Gel grinning as a result.
"There you have it Splin. Even the trophy is telling you to get stronger." Maria said, crossing her arms. "I think for the sake of both of you, we start training as soon as possible."
"Whoa, wait, training?" Splin asked.
"Ooh, training?" Sharq asked.
Maria smiled. "Yep, training. Used to do this with Rem and Ix around the time they were growing into Inklings. Sure, they used to wonder and question it at first, but look at them now."
"You mean they gained the ability to shoot lasers and stuff out of their hands from your training?!" Sharq asked.
Maria looked elsewhere. "I can't exactly take the credit for that, but hey, hard work and determination goes a long way!"
Splin leaned on a wall with one hand. "You do have a point...Sharq, what do you think?"
"Let's do it! Hey, if we finally get the ability to shoot stuff out of my hands or eyes, that'll be awesome!" Sharq said, hopping off his bed.
Splin sighed, taking his hand from the wall, stuffing it into his pockets, along with his other one. "Guess it's for the best. Where do we start, Maria?"
The three Inklings stood outside the house on the hills, overlooking Inkopolis. Maria stood proudly, inspecting each of the two younger Inklings carefully.
"Alright, let's get started." She told them, stooping down to the ground, picking up a rock.
"What's the rock for?" Sharq asked, tilting his head.
Maria smiled warmly. "It's for dodging, if you run into a particular scumbag who wants to pick a fight, sometimes you're going to have to dodge bullets in case he has a weapon. Like this!"
Maria lightly tossed the rock up and down, then hurled it towards the two brothers, who instantly scattered at the sight of a blunt object flying towards their faces.
"Whoa!" Splin yelped, hitting the dirt.
"Eep!" Sharq said, transforming into a squid, rolling away.
"Nice work so far! But, say that the scumbag has an automatic weapon…" Maria began, reaching down again, scooping up a bunch of pebbles.
Splin and Sharq yelped, each running down the hills from the tiny but painful rocks Maria chucked at them, Maria shaking her head each time the rocks found their mark.
"Sorry! You two okay?" Maria finally asked after an hour of rock tossing.
Splin and Sharq sighed, both of them covered in various scratches. Sharq lifted up his cap, pushing off pebbles that somehow made their way inside.
"It...could've been worse!" Sharq said positively.
"Ngh...you used to pelt your children with rocks, Maria?!" Splin asked, crossing his arms.
Maria blushed, looking away. "Not...exactly. Mostly it was pillows we'd find around the house. Sorry."
Splin laid on the ground, hissing somewhat when he realized he bumped into a rock on the ground. "I-It's fine, at least you didn't nail us in the eyes or something."
Maria stared at the two, then smiled hopefully. "So...are you two ready for the next segment?"
Splin flinched. "There are segments?!"
Sharq blinked. "What's next?"
Splin bolted up to his feet, staring at Sharq incredulously. "Dude, are you serious?! Maria, no disrespect intended, but I don't think we'd survive any more of your training!"
Maria huffed. "Splin, I'm just trying to help. Please, trust me on this, this will make you stronger."
Splin frowned. "How does chucking rocks at us make us stronger?"
"That was just the first exercise. Trust me, it seems pretty unorthodox at first, but it'll help you in the long run." Maria stated.
"...Well, then what's the next exercise?" Splin asked.
"There are times when you might feel like you're facing an opponent you feel you cannot defeat, like all your blows are hardly scratching them. That's why you might have to find weaknesses you may have to exploit!" Maria told them.
"Sounds simple." Splin said.
"Yeah, most of the Great Octoweapons we faced had these huge weak spot! That doesn't seem too bad." Sharq said.
"That may work for hulking behemoths, but we're going to be doing something a little different." Maria said, opening her arms. "Hit me!"
Splin and Sharq stared at Maria for a while. Splin stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared elsewhere, and Sharq looked straight down at the ground.
"What's the matter?" Maria asked.
"I...don't want to hit you." Sharq answered plainly.
"Maria, we're not going to hurt you." Splin said.
Maria cooed at the two. "That's really sweet…" Then she shifted her voice to something more dramatic. "But you can't go walking around like that, Splin and Sharq! You're going to get your tentacles kicked unless you man up and fight back!"
Splin and Sharq flinched at her drastic change in tone. Splin gulped, went over to Maria, then feinted a punch, weakly tapping Maria in her abdomen. Maria sighed, pushing him to the side, gesturing for Sharq to attempt. Sharq more or less did the same, changing into a squid, then lightly headbutting her, trying not to cause any damage.
"...This isn't working." Maria said. "You two realize that if I were attacking you, you two would be dead, right?"
"It's just- It's not like Turf Wars or anything where we know they'll respawn…" Splin said, twiddling his fingers.
"What you're saying is, as long as there aren't any consequences, you'd gladly splat someone?" Maria asked.
"Kinda...but also the fact that you'd whoop our tentacles in a fight." Sharq pointed out, Maria sighing.
"I'm not going to fight back, you two. Go on, give it your all, I won't mind!" Maria declared, staring each of the two down.
"...You're sure?" Splin said.
"Positive." Maria said with a smile.
"...Okay, wait here one second." Splin said, running inside of the house.
Sounds of rustling came from within the home. A while later, Splin burst out from the door, dragging behind an N-ZAP '85 ink gun and a Krak-On Roller with an odometer attached to the side, numbers on the odometer signifying achievements. Splin handed the Krak-On Roller to Sharq, who gripped it uneasily. The two looked up to Maria with semi-pleading eyes, to which Maria simply smiled and nodded at. Reluctantly, the two squid brothers raised their weapons, Splin's finger resting on the trigger, Sharq raising his Krak-On Roller above his head. Just as the two were about to attack, Maria became a blur, her tentacles becoming a light-green flash as she sprinted behind the two, lightly bonking the two brothers heads together. The Bate Brothers fell backwards on the ground, not much from pain, but from sheer fear that their hearts had stopped functioning.
"That concludes part two of our training: Always expect the unexpected!" Maria announced, patting the two on their heads.
Splin wheezed, sinking lower into the soft dirt and Sharq remained frozen like an Inkling statue that was toppled over, his eyes staring straight at the sky, a hint of a whimper on his lips.
At this point, Splin and Sharq took it upon themselves to go straight to Octo Valley, ask Cap'n Cuttlefish with protective gear, (which he fished out of a pile of smoking debris) and made their way back to the hills, the two brothers now wearing Hero Armor Helmets upon their noggins, shivering in anticipation of what Maria had planned for them next.
"Ah, welcome back you two! Ready for more?" Maria asked, sitting on the grass.
"S-Sure." Splin said, rubbing his arm.
"Really? You...um, don't look too hot." Maria told him, glancing over at Sharq next.
"Nah, nah, we're...raring to go! Right Splin?" Sharq said, looking over at his brother.
Splin simply nodded, shivering. Sharq blinked, walking behind Splin, hugging him as to stop the shaking. It didn't work, only causing the vibrations to carry over to Sharq, the two of them shaking in sync. Sharq let go, shrugging.
"Maria, please tell me this next trial of yours isn't difficult." Splin said.
"Actually, it isn't. I have in mind a simple workout planned." Maria told them, standing up.
"...What is it?" Splin asked.
Maria cleared her throat, her face shifting to something more serious. "One hundred push-ups. One hundred sit-ups. One hundred squats! Then a ten kilometer run, every single day! Think you two can handle it?"
The two brothers hit the dirt face down.
"...You two know what those are, right?" Maria asked hopefully.
"I...I-" Splin sighed, getting up from the ground. "I'm sorry... I just can't. Maria, thank you for all your hard work training us, but we can't do this anymore. We're being run ragged, I can't keep up with your training regimen."
Maria frowned. "Splin?"
Splin took off his helmet and set it on the ground carefully, smoothing down his tentacles, looking away from Maria. "I don't think we're fit out to be able to fight as well as you. I appreciate your attempts to teach us, but I don't think we're fit for intense fighting...or at least not yet."
Maria looked at Splin sadly, then turned to Sharq. "Sharq?"
Sharq frowned, taking off his helmet. "Maria, I have to agree with Splin. I'm getting pretty tired already...and I just don't want to get beaten up again, you know? Hope you'll understand."
Maria stared at the two for a while. Her eyes began filling up with a lime green liquid, Maria instinctively staring down at the ground, letting a few light green tears drop from her eyes and hit the ground. The brothers gasped, both reaching out for her, Maria stopping them by raising the palm of her hands, wiping her eyes with her tentacles.
"I-I'm sorry… I just miss the times when Rem and Ix used to always go up to me...they'd ask me if I could play with them...and this was usually what we'd do. Train hard, have fun doing it...I'm sorry Splin, Sharq, I just miss those days." Maria confessed, closing her eyes.
Splin blinked. "Oh…you just miss your family. Maria, why didn't you just tell us earlier? We could've helped you visit them."
"I know, but they're older now...they have their own families in their dimension. I just wish that I could've spent one more day with them before they grew older." Maria sighed. "Again, sorry about wasting your time you two…"
Maria began trudging back inside the house, absolutely gloomy. Splin and Sharq glanced at each other, then nodded simultaneously.
"Maria, wait up!" Sharq yelled, running in front of her.
Maria looked up at the younger Inkling standing in front of her.
"Look, we might not be able to survive your really intense training, or anything, I doubt we would be able to learn to fight as well as you, Rem, or Ix does." Sharq began.
Maria looked away guiltily.
"But hey, we can sure as shell try, right?" Sharq said with a grin.
Maria glanced back at Sharq, Splin running up to join him.
"Maria, we respect you a lot. We'll give our all at anything you wish, you have our promises." Splin said. "It sounds, really cheesy when I say it out loud, but it's true."
Maria smiled lightly at the two, who were eagerly awaiting her response. The response being another hug, Maria smothering the two.
"Thank you." Maria said.
Yep, Splin and Sharq have your back, Mrs. Altezio. Trust me.
"Even the disembodied voice is backing us up, so you'd know we mean it." Splin said.
Maria giggled somewhat, breaking the hug, looking at the two. "I hope you two don't mind, but I do have a favor to ask of you…"
"What's that?" Sharq asked.
"Promise me that even without special powers or anything…" Maria stared them straight in the eye. "That you'll stay safe. I don't want to lose anymore people in my life."
Splin and Sharq turned to each other, nodded, then looked back at Maria.
"We promise." The two said.
Maria smiled warmly. "...There's...one more request I have. Could you...um...bring me to visit Rem and Ix later, if you can, of course?"
Splin and Sharq thought it over. They stared back into the house. Tele-Cube laid dormant on top of the kitchen counter. The two then looked at the roof of the house. On top of the roof laid a destroyed beacon of sorts. The brothers then looked back at Maria.
"Now that'll be a longshot, I won't lie." Splin told her. "Another thing to add to the list of to-dos, I suppose."
Maria nodded, then yawned. "Alright...well, I'm a little tired, guys. Maybe we should take a break for today."
"You're tired already?" Sharq asked. "Oh well, guess it's high time we hit the hay anyways!"
The three then walked inside the house, already deciding on spending the rest of the day off, lounging comfortably down. They stayed that way until nightfall, when they turned in for the night, uttering "good nights" to each other as they drifted off into dreamland.
AN: It's not family fluff, as Maria isn't related by blood. So then I suppose it would be really weird dimensional friend fluff? I dunno, never got a degree at the writing school in terms of "fluffiness".
Moving on, reviewing the reviews of last quarter. Thanks Ultrapyre and Lean for reviewing again! I suppose my cooking skills aren't exactly the greatest, Ultrapyre. Makes sense why I tend to eat out more then. Lean, thanks again for the compliment!
Anyways, that's that, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to later buy Bayonetta and Corrin in that new Super Smash Bros. DLC! Later!