Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others
A Huge Culture Shock
Sitting on top of a derelict, desolate, dirty, and other words that begin with "d" shack was a lone Octoling, dangling her legs off the top of the sheet metal the shack was constructed out of. The light-blue sky beamed overhead, and the rocks surrounding Octo Valley surrounded the platforms hovering in the air like a dome.
Said Octoling constantly banged her feet on the back of the shack, whistling lazily. Up until the point where a biscuit was tossed at her face.
"Ow! Hey!" Tai yelled, rubbing her cheek where the edible missile had landed.
Out from under the shack, an irritated old squid in a captain's uniform shook his fist at the Octoling, the shake reverberating to the equally rickety cane he supported himself with in his other palm. Crumbs from the biscuit dropped down from his fist.
"Dagnabbit! Can't you Octo-Jerks bother some other geezer?! I'm trying to sleep!" Cap'n Cuttlefish yelled.
Tai ceased whistling and blew a gust of air out her mouth, yawning. "No can do, oldie. DJ Octavio kicked me out for the day, said something about 'guests' and 'me not being able to scare them'."
"I'd think you'd annoy them to the end of their wits before scaring them." Cap'n frowned, "Get off my shack, you!"
"Naaaah. It's actually pretty comfy up here. Also it's nice getting free food." Tai stretched her arm, a biscuit in one of the palms of her hands.
She tossed the biscuit up to her face, eating it and swallowing it within seconds, a satisfied belch coming after. She smirked down at Cap'n deviously, the elder shaking his head. He began walking back under the shade of the shack back to lounging on his raggedy blue couch, when the rattling began again. Cap'n groaned, tilting down his captain's cap and shutting his eyes as he slouched down on the couch. Tai stared up at the sky from the top of the shack, watching the clouds roll by. She enjoyed the clouds. Provided a comfy shelter from the overbearing rays of sun, lazily rolling past without a care in the world, like she aspired.
Unfortunately that proved to be extremely boring lounging about on an old man's roof, so Tai huffed, getting up off the top of the shack, glancing about. There were not any Inkling agents around she could mess with, and the rest of the Octolings were hard at work with… Something. Octavio had ordered Tai out of the base while they said they needed something done without her.
"Better not be having fun without me." Tai thought to herself, frowning.
The Octoling began walking, no clear destination in mind. She could leave and mess about Inkopolis, discreetly of course, but that ran the awkward chance of meeting Ari after shooing him off, and, well…
Tai sighed. Ari seemed to be smitten with her. There was nothing inherently bad about that either, she liked the guy, he had a sense of justice and pride about him that was admirable. At least from her standpoint. Still, being tied down by relationships sounded boring, and Tai wanted either an exciting or relaxing lifestyle.
But personally, I prefer the air.
Tai blinked, glancing up at the sky with a curious grin. "Oh, hey voice. You can… Do things, right?"
Depends.
"Cool," Tai started with a grin, "Find me something to do!"
Do I look like a miracle worker?
Tai stared at the transparent sky.
"Uh… Yes?" Tai blinked, narrowing her eyes, "Look, I just need to do something. I'm booooored, and Octavio and Cuttlefish are being boring old men."
Cap'n Cuttlefish snored loudly in his sleep across from her. With a pout on her face, Tai gestured to the side towards the old sea captain.
You could always read a book.
"...Nah." Tai muttered, raising her finger up into the sky, "Hmm, well, hang on one minute. Maybe those two could have something fun to do."
With a mind made up, Tai nodded, walking towards a manhole planted firmly in the ground of the platform Tai and the Cap'n were suspended on. Looking over towards the entrance in the earth, Tai switched into a violet octopus, hopped up into the air, and spiraled downwards into the manhole.
Much later, Cap'n would discover a handful of birds sticking to his roof like glue, crumbs serving as a buffet for the unwanted avian guests, only causing his mistrust of octopuses to grow.
As par the course, Tai entered the brothers' house through the top, the hole in the house providing a suitable entrance for the Octoling. She looked around curiously. The wooden home seemed deserted. She looked to the side. Maria's bed had a few pillows haphazardly left on the bed with soft indentations, signaling her lounging habits. Tai blinked, then glanced elsewhere to another bed, the brothers'. The set of beds were left somewhat messy, only the one closer to the stairs than the left wall had a few crumbs on it.
So far, it seemed like Tai would just have to come back later if she wanted entertainment or grub. She shrugged, turning for the door to leave, but when she stepped back, she heard a slight crinkling noise. Spinning around, she spotted a flat box with a picture on it on the floor, next to the television. She stared at it curiously.
"The shell is that?" She muttered, stooping down.
Picking it up, she looked over the box. She felt around it, her fingers finding a slight indentation that must serve as a lid or something. Pushing upwards, the box opened, revealing a disc, with another picture on it.
"What are these? Just colorful discs?" Tai frowned, looking around.
Eventually, Tai noticed a black box on the ground, thin wires connecting from the back up towards the television screen set by the wall. She hummed, glancing to and fro, then crouched down. There was an opening, thin enough for a disc. A red light on the front of the machine glowed over a button labeled, "Power".
"...What is this, some sort of extra television… Thing?" Tai fumbled, reaching for a word.
The little box felt familiar in a way. Tai shook her head, glancing around again. The house was still oddly empty. Grinning, Tai reached down, taking the disc out of the case, clicking the power button with her free right hand. The red light switched to blue. She hummed, staring up at the television screen. For a moment, it did not activate, prompting Tai to impatiently tap her foot.
"...Oh." She muttered, noticing another power button on the side of the television, "That seems sort of inconvenient. And dumb."
Nevertheless, the boredom void eating away at Tai prompted her to start the screen up. Walking over, minding the box on the ground, she clicked the button on the television, staring at the blank, black screen.
Then felt her eyes expand as color filled the screen.
Elsewhere, the brothers walked out of Inkopolis Tower under the gaze of the Great Zapfish out into the plaza, small finches collecting around railings and building roofs. Sharq seemed rather pleased, cradling a roller with an odometer counting at least a hundred of splats while Splin hoisted around bags of coins with grunts.
"Thanks for coming with me to watch me play Turf Wars!" Sharq piped up, "Though that one time you joined was kinda awkward."
"I was rusty." Splin muttered.
Sharq smirked at his brother. "How do you get splatted twenty-times? That can't just be rust."
Splin rolled his eyes. "Some people aren't built for Turf Wars, thank you."
"Didn't you help me beat Ari that one time?" Sharq asked, "You know, with that teamwork technique where I-"
"Yeah, yeah. That was probably just luck, how do two Inklings win against four?" Splin asked, walking ahead.
"Strategy!" Sharq grinned.
"...Sure." Splin shook his head, "Can we go home now? I'm getting a bit tired of lugging your rewards around and... uh…"
Splin fumbled with a small batch of coins in one of his hands.
"Mine as well." He muttered in embarrassment.
"Alright!" Sharq nodded, sheathing his roller behind his back, the roller inexplicably sticking to the ink tank strapped to his back because video games.
"Hold on, how are we supposed to get this-" Splin set down the bags of coins, a few scattering about the floor, "Over there?" He pointed over to the hills they called home.
"Hmm…" Sharq hummed, then beamed, an imaginary light bulb bursting over his head, "I've got an idea!"
Sharq leaned over to Splin and whispered into his ear. Splin frowned, staring at his older brother, who just leaned back with a smirk, glancing to and from the bags of gold. Splin sighed, switching into a squid immediately. Sharq followed his example, and the two squids ducked under the bags.
"Okay, on the count of three, we jump!" Sharq announced.
"Sure." Splin said in a non-reassured tone of voice.
"One… Two… Three!"
They launched into the air. The initial reaction was the two and the bags making a small hop off of the ground, but other than that, the asphalt was the closest to sky they would get.
"..." Splin murmured something under the bags.
"What?" Sharq asked.
Splin's squid head poked out from underneath the bags. "We're going to have to invent a new approach."
Sharq nodded, the two retreating back underneath the bags, switching to their humanoid forms, walking off around the plaza in hopes of something hitting them, figuratively.
Tai stared at the video game's title screen, blinking. "...If this is a movie, it's super lame."
The bewildered Octoling just stared. It was truly a sight to behold in her opinion. She just did not know quite how to respond. A message labeled "Press Any Button" was laid flat on the title screen. So, the Octoling shrugged, standing up, walking over to the television. She clicked the power button. When the television shut off, she scowled.
Tai groaned. "What the f-"
"Fire!" Sharq shouted, pointing forward.
Splin lifted an Inkzooka over his head, the money bags sticking out of the barrel, wrapped neatly. A handful of Inklings had gathered to witness the spectacle that was the brother's money mishaps. Splin reached back, feeling the trigger, then pulled it, the money launching forwards through the sky, the bags lifted in a tornado of ink, spirited away.
Splin lowered the gun, sighing. "That's that."
All of a sudden, the Inklings gathered behind them cheered. The two spun around surprised, glancing at one another, then waved awkwardly.
"This just in! Two squids have just launched bags of money off into the horizon!"
"And there's the news." Splin muttered, staring up.
True to Splin's observation, behind them all, Callie and Marie were up in the studio, the bubbly, black-tentacled Squid Sister had her hand on a microphone, excitably commentating while her less enthusiastic cousin just sat to the side, staring at her.
"You know, we didn't need to come into work today." Marie muttered, her baggy eyes a telltale sign of her fatigue.
As the crowd cheered on, Splin switched into a squid, and began hopping off towards the hills. A distracted Sharq behind him continually bowed and waved despite not entirely understanding what happened. A blue tentacle reached for his arm, pulling him away from the crowd as he waved.
Tai had finally figured it out. Do not press any of the buttons actually on the console or television. Aside from that confusing information, she had finally managed to start playing. Already she was having a blast.
"You can beat people up?! That's amazing! I had no idea Inklings had such great taste in home entertainment!" She grinned, "Man, the guys back home really need to try something like this! It'll be a hit!"
Bags of money dropped from the roof, landing by Tai. She blinked, setting the controller down, glancing at the money bags which had stains of blue.
"Well that was quick." Tai grinned proudly.
Turning back to the television screen, she stared down at the controller, experimentally pressing a button. It was not as satisfying as actual combat, but it was certainly better than having to spark a whole new war just to mess someone's face up in her opinion. She continued her little escapade of digital fighting blissfully.
"Whatcha playin'?" Sharq asked behind her.
Tai blinked, turning around. She was beaming, her eyes glistening with an almost untapped joy that was bizarre for the normally collected octopus.
"I have no clue," She admitted, "But it's amazing! These things- They're called video games or something, right?"
"Yeah! You've never played one before? It's like a passage of life! It's like required!" Sharq oozed.
"Dude, we need to get these down to Octo Valley." Tai stated simply, staring at Sharq seriously, "I cannot let my people go without these."
"Why do you two keep gushing about video games? They're pretty good," Splin said for a moment, standing at the side with a broom, sweeping money away, "But they're not the epitome of our culture."
"Speak for yourself man, this is better than anything." Tai smirked.
"Oh please. It's not like our lives depend on them-"
Splin paused quickly, looking around nervously. He blinked time and time again, almost as if he did not want to finish that sentence for fear of something greater.
"Hold that thought." Splin muttered.
Splin started walking out of the house, the two other cephalopods watching him walk, the door shutting behind him, reverberating throughout the small house. The two stared at each other.
"What's up with Splin?" Tai asked.
"I think he's going through puberty." Sharq frowned.
"...Harsh." Tai muttered, standing up, "So, wanna get moving?"
"Huh?" Sharq blinked.
"Aren't we going out to get a bunch of video games and dump it on Aussie or something?" Tai asked.
"Really?" Sharq stood up, beaming.
"As long as we can pay for it man." Tai shrugged, standing up, stretching, "We can use the dough you guys earned."
Sharq "oohed", glancing over to the pile of coins. The gleam and glitter was enough to convince Sharq that they had what it took to do something, that would probably do nothing in the long run except provide mild entertainment. Still, the two were filled with a drive, Tai wanted the other octopi to stop being so work orientated and actually have fun for once. Sharq just liked the prospect of adventure.
"Well, what are we waiting for?! Quick, help me grab a few bags!" Sharq called out, running towards the set of cash.
Tai grinned. "This is gonna be good."
Splin attempted to whistle, but it came out weakly, and had only a hint of a melody. He sighed, leaning back on a thin tree, a few apples strewn above, ripe for the picking. Though the whole dimensional mishaps were cleared up for the most part, he was still skeptical of the apples that grew on the hills he and Sharq called home. Maria, Salty, and the Tele-Cube were missing, and the last thing he wanted was another portal adventure. He did not want to risk decimating the very fabrics of existence that were already unraveling at the seams.
"That could not have been worded worse." Splin sighed, shaking his head.
Well, Splin, you happen to have bigger fish to fry at the moment, so I don't think interrupting the author is worth it.
"Wait, what do you mean?" Splin asked, getting to his feet.
He was answered immediately. A crash sounded out, mixed with a violet splattering out into the air. He stared ahead. An unknown object shot out of the house, flying off towards Inkopolis. Splin's pupils shrank. Breaking into a run immediately, minding his headphones, he sprinted towards the house, slamming open the door. There was a purple crater underneath the hole in the ceiling, and the alarm clock was beeping wildly, covered in violet. But it was the absence of something that made Splin nearly keel over.
The coin bags were gone, save for a few golden trinkets strewn about the floor, and a piece of paper. Splin's eye twitched as he made his way over to the paper, reading it as he walked.
WE.O.U A bunch of money.
-Tai and Sharq :3
Splin stared at the note, his brain still processing the basics of what had happened. Then, he spoke up:
"I'm too tired to deal with this." Splin muttered, walking off to his bed.
With all of the excitement that had transpired, Splin's tired mind simply opted for the most basic of solutions: sleep it off and ignore it. Crashing on his bed, he groaned into the sheets. Crashing on the floor, the extra pieces of the roof that made noise only irritated Splin further, as he could barely hear Tai's laugh echoing through the air.
"...Octopuses." Splin muttered.
AN: This chapter originally had something to do with a lot of video game references, but right now I'm saving them for later, next chapter could be something about Phish and Pirah, or maybe Xarius, but I'm saving the continuation for later. Also because I'm saving up a lot of chapters and stories right now for later. Also because I'm saving a bunch of KitKat candies for later. I think I lost track of what I was saying, but that might also be because I'm saving stuff up.
Ignoring that redundant tangent, let's move on. Thanks Darkstar248 and write n wrong for reviewing! Thanks for that observation Darkstar248, that was pretty much the thought I had after "The Bate Brothers' Adventures" was finished, expand on the story I had already built, so… You win a digital, text-flavored KitKat I suppose! Thanks write n wrong, I try to keep things charming.
Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to sketch some squids, see you.