Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others
"Yar, Xar."
A gentle breeze blew past on the great expanse of the sea. Seagulls glided in the sky, shoving off towards land. A lone ship rolled across the waves. At the helm, the self-proclaimed pirate, Xarius, his tentacle blowing out of his hat in the wind, steered the ship. The sky was already growing dim as the sun dropped below the waves in the distance.
The bags under his eyes were a clear call that Xarius was suffering from sleep deprivation, the captain attempting to steer the vessel while simultaneously keeping his eyes open. The only thing keeping him awake was his drive to find his sister, lost somewhere in the world.
Well, that and the incessant squawking of a parrot.
"Ay, Xarius! Wake up!" Hueli squawked, flapping his crimson wings.
"Whuh?!" Xarius accidentally spun the ship's wheel to the right.
A sound akin to that of a horrible traffic accident occurred. Xarius cringed at the noise, closing one eye. On the open sea, devoid of any modern technology, a siren wailed, almost reverberating through the water.
"Oy." Xarius groaned, "That's the…"
Xarius groggily counted with his free hand. He could vaguely make out a four. Turning to Hueli for affirmation, the macaw shook his head solemnly.
"Nope. Double." Hueli frowned.
Xarius blinked. He took both of his hands and displayed all ten digits.
"Xarius, that's the eighth time you've crashed into something this week!" Hueli squawked, "Look, your sister's important and all, and we all respect that, but you gotta get some rest."
Xarius frowned, turning back to the wheel. As he reached for the wooden spokes, the scarlet macaw flapped over and pecked his hands. Reeling back in surprise, Xarius scowled, making shooing movements with his hands. Hueli frowned, or at least made the impression of a frown with his beak, staring back at Xarius.
"Hueli's right Xarius." Someone called from over across the deck.
Xarius blinked, glancing ahead. On the deck, an Inkling, her orange tentacles covered by her bandana cap, stared across at Xarius worriedly, hands by her hips over her pirate uniform.
"Rosili." Xarius greeted her.
"Look, you're our captain," Rosili spoke up, "But that doesn't make you any less susceptible to fatigue than us. Take a break, I'll take the wheel."
Xarius stubbornly stuck to the wheel like glue, looking ahead out to the water past his crewmate.
"Xarius, if you don't move from that spot, I'll have to take drastic measures." Rosili threatened, pulling up the sleeves on her arms.
Xarius grunted, ignoring her, spinning the wheel around as the ship glided across the waves. Rosili shook her head, ascending a staircase up to the wheel built into the ship. Rosili seemed to easily sneak up behind him. Then, with a simple slip, she leaned on Xarius' back.
"...What are you doing?" He asked with a frown, not taking his eyes off the sea.
Rosili snuggled into his back as if he were a bed. "I'm waiting for you to give in so I can take the wheel from you."
"...It's not gonna work, leave now while ye can Rosili." Xarius groaned.
Rosili yawned, moving her back and hips so that they felt comfortable on Xarius' back with a devious smirk, only bothering Xarius as time went on. After a few minutes of Rosili pretending to try and fall asleep on him, Xarius finally cracked.
"A'right! I'll get some rest, geez!" Xarius frowned, taking a step away from the wheel, Rosili grinning proudly as she stepped away from him and took the wheel, "Don't have to make things so-"
Xarius had attempted to end that sentence with "awkward" or "uncomfortable", but ended up saying "snore" instead, falling on the wooden side of the ship encompassing the wheel and its staircases like a railing. He immediately took up sleep on the wooden walls.
"Oh, goodness." Rosili frowned, turning to the deck, "Lower the anchor, captain down!"
The Inkling was not always so keen on finding his sister. Before Xarius wished to sail the seven seas tirelessly, he was just a kid.
He was a squid far before that, let's not go into that overdone meme already, it's already been cooked medium rare, no need to char it further.
Far before Xarius had the odd Inkbrush, or gone on this adventure to find his sister through a confusing mechanic of using maps stolen by and from old hermits, he was just a boy living life with his older sister.
"Xarius?"
Xarius muttered, waving away at the air with his tiny tentacles.
"Oh, Xarius?"
Again, the squid murmured something unintelligible, rolling about in the comforts of his soft bed with his eyes closed.
"Oh boy. You're really knocked out, huh? I didn't want to do this…"
Xarius felt fingers running up his squishy belly playfully and quickly. Xarius attempting to protest, but his initial irritation was switched with laughter, the tickling being too much for him to handle. Another playful laugh joined in. Xarius opened his eyes, now wide awake and better spirited, staring up into the hazel eyes of his sister through her glasses, Pirah cooing at his awakening.
"Aww… Good morning little brother!" Pirah called out, lifting Xarius up.
At the sound of that greeting, Xarius blushed. "Oy! I ain't little anymore!"
"Ten years old is still little in my world. And you're still younger than me, so I win." Pirah told him in a matter-of-factly way.
Xarius frowned, he was carried away from his bed, which sat in a small room of his own. Pirah took him out from the room and waltzed into a spacious apartment living room, with a kitchen complete with counters over at the side, (still drenched with water) and a couch overlooking the wondrous views of Inkopolis' buildings. Which at worst were… Tall and glamorous. Meaning that they were practically on a cloud of comfort on how they were living. Clean floors, comfortable furniture, and a view that could rival that of the top of Inkopolis Tower's.
Meanwhile, Phish sits at home in his lonely wooden shack.
Phish glanced up at the broken ceiling with a frown. "Screw you."
Now back to a nicer Inkling.
Pirah set down her brother on the stainless counter, the sun beaming down on his squishy, red head. Pirah hummed carefully, leaving her little brother to himself as she made her way into the kitchen, carefully taking stock of all of the things that were remotely edible.
"Alright, let's see…" Pirah hummed.
Xarius sat still on the counter, glancing around the apartment room. It was comfortable and large enough for Xarius to prevent himself from getting too uninterested after a while, and his sister practically glomped him every minute of the day, which was a bit of a double-edged sword if he wanted to spend some time alone lounging on his bed. Speaking of his sister:
All of a sudden, Xarius was snatched off the counter by Pirah, who began sprinting out wildly. Just behind them, Xarius could make out the glow of an oven. Which was not too hard, considering the fact that the oven was open and flames sprouted from the mouth of the cooking device. Xarius quickly decided that perhaps his sister was far from a master chef.
Outside the apartment building, Pirah leaned on the side of the wall, sighing with little Xarius still in her arms. The younger, dyed red squid stared up at the floor he and his sister had just fled from, moments before. An explosion rocked the building to its core, and a column of fire erupted from the building.
"Well, I guess you shouldn't heat milk up that way then." Pirah hummed.
Xarius deadpanned. Despite being carried by her right this instant, he could hardly believe that she was any older than him. Pirah and Xarius gawked at the apartment spewing flames as if it were a dragon that woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
"I guess that means we'll have to go to Phish's!" Pirah decided, standing up, walking off into the sidewalks of Inkopolis with a whistle.
As she tread the gray pavement, a collection of emergency vehicles, from the crimson-red of the fire trucks to the sleek black design of the police cruisers, marine inhabitants in the cars that caught glimpses of the billowing, burning building would shrink in their seats at the sight. Meanwhile, Pirah hummed, skipping away as if the fire had not happened, carelessly letting the flames dance around.
"Darn it Pirah." Xarius thought to himself, watching the fight against the fire escalate in the background.
The pair of Inklings landed on the grassy hills Phish called home swimmingly. Though the crater caused in the dirt from where Pirah had slammed into the hill was somewhat contradictory to that, she and Xarius were unharmed. Spitting out chunks of grass and dirt, Pirah began ascending the hill with Xarius in her arms, the younger squid staring up ahead. Soon after the arduous climb up the grassy mound, she approached the front door of the house, and knocked.
On the other side of said door, Phish was crouching, frowning. He had heard the crash at first. Now he knew exactly was at his house and had a decent indication of what they wanted. The newsflash repeating the events of her initial effects was a dead giveaway as well. So Phish was crouched behind the door, somewhat dreading Pirah's visit, though held somewhat of an embarrassment. It was hardly his fault Pirah destroyed things, but he felt somewhat responsible for the young woman's actions. Sighing, Phish got up to his feet, braced himself, and opened the door.
"HiPhishI'mgonnagetsomefoodreallyquickwatchoverXariusokay?" Pirah asked in a speed that could rival hedgehogs.
With all of… "That" said, Pirah dashed off away from the hills, switching into a blue squid, taking aim for the skies. She blasted off, becoming nothing more than a glint in the sky as she traveled. Phish nearly had no clue what she meant, until he realized there was something squishy cradled in his arms. Glancing downwards, he spied Xarius, who was just as equally confused as to what had just happened, staring at Phish with a reasonable curiosity.
"...Make yourself at home." Phish mumbled, walking in the house with a quick push of the door using his foot, closing it.
Phish placed Xarius down on the floor, putting his hands on his hips, debating what to do with the little squid. Said squid continually glanced around the house with an awed hum. The house, in comparison to the apartment building both he and Pirah called home was hardly spacious. Just a lonely bed in the corner, a few pieces of furniture, a kitchen that accounted for a fourth of the entire building, and a television. Stairs led up to the roof, but Xarius simply counted that as a flat top, and the hole in the ceiling was less than safe or appealing.
Phish had made this place his home, Xarius concluded, despite its objectively shabby composition and structure due to some accident or lack of funds. How this place managed to stay up on this hill in one piece was bewildering. But, curiosity took over regardless, and the squid began to slide off, Phish too lost in thoughts to actually observe him.
"What should I do with him?" Phish frowned, one hand placed under his chin, "He might get himself hurt… I can't put him somewhere high, can I? How old is he?"
As Phish thought to himself, Xarius happened to make his way over to Phish's bed, attempting to climb up, but to no avail, which he felt was a shame considering his sister's rude awakening. Instead, he decided to go adventuring nearby the wooden dresser right nearby the bed. One of the drawers stuck out the bottom of the dresser, piquing Xarius' curiosity.
Too little too late did Phish notice Xarius climbing up into the drawer. "Hey, hey, hold on!"
Xarius dropped into the drawer, looking around. A glint caught his eye. In the corner of the drawer, barely exposed to light, was the handle of something. Xarius blinked. The mystery clearly was too overbearing, as he had already caught hold of it when Phish pulled the little squid out of the drawer.
Phish frowned, tugging the struggling Xarius out of the drawer. "Careful! That's where I keep all of the Great Turf War spoils I salvaged! You could really- Er."
In the tiny stubs Xarius used as hands, he held a large Inkbrush.
"...Why did I keep that." Phish wondered aloud.
Somewhere in Inkopolis, Pirah strolled through a small supermarket, which had a fresh, "New" on the front of the store, obviously having just been constructed. She hummed as she pushed along a shopping cart past other Inkling and aquatic citizens of the city of squids. She walked through each aisle, inspecting each shelf slowly.
Slowly.
And slowly.
Bags seemed to grow around her eyes. "...This is too slow."
A laugh track played outside in a dumpster, than was crushed underneath the weight of a few trash bags. Pirah hummed, attempting to think of a solution. She stared at her shopping cart. She grinned, hatching a plan in nearly a second.
Phish on the other hand had a bigger issue. A young squid flailing an Inkbrush around under the arguably normal situations would be at worst a mess and at best a great assist to one's Turf War team. That being said, ink of a different color than blue being flung about was less than pleasant for Phish. He dodged, switching into a squid periodically, ducking behind the kitchen counters as Xarius continued his miniature rampage.
A young Inkling with a grocery list in hand stared down at said list, glancing from each shelf and bottle label in sight. She sighed, shaking her head as she trudged along slowly. The sound of rattling wheels caught her attention. Turning around, she noticed a much older woman that stood on the back of a grocery cart, laughing as she apparently strolled along without much complications. The younger Inkling blinked. Quickly taking a pen out of her pockets, she added something along the lines of, "Get glasses", and shoved off, blinking multiple times.
Back at the Bate household, Phish was attempting to block each and every single one of Xarius' attacks with his trusty frying pan, taking advantage of its handy, pan-like nature to block the ink. All of a sudden, Xarius raised the Inkbrush high above his head like a sword. Xarius could not really understand why he was doing that, and was desperately attempting to slow down. Phish's eyes grew wide as he felt the Inkbrush slice through him, the ink falling on the ground.
"OH NO! How could I… Why did this happen?!" Xarius thought rapidly, dropping the Inkbrush. "I'm sorry!" Xarius squeaked.
Phish blinked, staring right at Xarius. Looking down at his body, he realized the red ink being tossed at him was just dyed. Bits of blue dripped out underneath the red.
"...Well then." Phish blinked, lowering the frying pan, which had the colored substance drip off, "That could have been worse."
The younger squid squatting on the floor sighed in relief. His minuscule, generally impossible grip on the Inkbrush faltered, and he let it go to the floor where it scattered the red and blue mix. Xarius was breathing in heavily, or as heavily as the underdeveloped lungs of a squid could take. It was almost as if something took hold of him, causing him to flail the Inkbrush like a maniac.
Of course, in Phish's perspective it looked like a kid just tried to assassinate him. With a glare, he turned to Xarius, who, with one glance, gulped at Phish's menacing face. Attempting a smile to pacify Phish, who stood there, tapping his foot on the floor of the house, Xarius realized that there might be no salvaging this. Phish took one step forward, the resulting footstep feeling like a shock-wave to poor little Xarius. Had it not been for the door-
"Hey guys!" Pirah announced, slamming the poor door into the side, "I'm back with food!"
And Pirah's fortunate entrance, Xarius might not have lived to adulthood. With a nervous squeak, Xarius hopped off towards Pirah, leaping up into her full arms, hiding in with the grocery bags she carried. Xarius purred contently, knowing that his sister would be the safest option. Then his eyes widened once he realized the glaring contradictions with that thought. Nevertheless, he would live another set of years, the worst of Phish's reactions being a simple "huff" and comment:
"I can safely say that you and your brother are related." Phish sighed as ink dripped off the walls and ceilings.
"Aw, did you two hang out together? That's nice of you Phish!" Pirah smiled.
Phish simply adjusted his tie with a frown, crouching down to pick up the Inkbrush that had somehow compelled Xarius to redecorate Phish's interior. As Xarius was placed down on the counter, he snuck another stare at Phish, somewhat paranoid of the larger Inkling male. When Phish turned back, Xarius assumed it would be another glare directed towards him.
Strangely enough, Phish could only smile and shake his head, as if Xarius had done no wrong. The younger squid was bewildered. If the ink was not blue, he could have easily decapitated the older squid in his attack. Yet there he was, picking the Inkbrush off the ground, doing his best to wipe off any excess ink around him, and placing the brush, of all places, by the counter where Xarius was.
"You know, I knew the guy who used the Inkbrush before you did." Phish frowned, glancing up at the ceiling, "Thought it was cursed or something ever since he bit the dust."
Xarius frowned, tilting his head. Whoever Phish was talking about, he sure was not being too happy about it.
"...Though I suppose if someone as old as you can swing it like it's nothing…" Phish shrugged, "Heck, you could put it to better use than me someday."
Again, Xarius did not quite understand.
"...Assuming you don't beat someone else up with it."
Now the little squid realized that for sure, he certainly was not a child psychopath bred for killing. Yet a person he hardly knew, he nearly splatted, was gifting him with a weapon. At this point, the logic had Xarius' mind spinning. Perhaps Phish was unwell.
"Alright, so, I think I got it this time, we heat up the milk in a pan." Pirah nodded, "Gotcha."
The two others behind Pirah froze, and glanced at each other. Their eyes connected, and both of them knew that for the sake of everything, Pirah must not be allowed to put the milk anywhere that did not resemble a cup. Hopping and sprinting over to her, they left the Inkbrush behind, which laid on the counter. Behind the glint of the brush's bristles, the drawer it was once concealed in still had a stream of light flowing into it. Inside there was a few ink-stained memorabilia, including a picture frame. Phish sat down in the photo, younger, a few figures impossible to make out thanks to the dim lighting of the drawers sat besides him, with weapons and grins, all of them stained with ink of various colors.
Xarius awoke himself, without any tickling or sisterly coos to serve as his alarm. The feeling of rocking back and forth on a thin veil must have meant he was in his room, rocking back and forth on his hammock. The windows behind him relayed the waves' messages, telling him that he was still onboard the ship. Almost instinctively, he reached to his side, feeling the handle of his weapon.
The brush he was given years ago was still in its sheath. A gift from his brother-in-law, missing with his sister, which was obtained through him through the Great Turf War. He clutched the brush handle, sighing.
"This family is probably one of the most dysfunctional of all time." Xarius smirked to himself as he rocked in his bed. "At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if I had a few nephews or nieces running around…"
Xarius closed his eyes again with a sigh. Despite his responsibilities as a captain, he wished to dwell in his slumber once more, yearning for his sister's laugh, her soul mate's ever present sigh, and relished the idea of his ridiculous youth antics and the curiosity behind the Inkbrush and drawers of that house on the hills…
Then Xarius blinked. The two Inkling boys that lived up in a house on the hills. Splin and Sharq. The enthusiasm from Sharq. The practically deadpan expression on the younger one's face, Splin was it?
"...Ah." Xarius blinked, staring up at the wooden ship interior.
"...Ship, I'm slow."
AN: Don't you hate it when you realize that you actually had nephews and couldn't realize it because you were too busy searching for your older, more immature sister? And you all happen to be squids?
Oh well, it's a very exclusive issue, thanks once more for reviewing, Darkstar248, write n wrong, and, goodness me it's been a while, sebastian G!
Well, what can I say Darkstar248, I aim to please, and if I miss I'll just turn the idea gun on myself. :) write n wrong, they'll certainly be in for a shock, or… Something. I really need to finish that Star Fox crossover story. Finally, sebastian G. Thanks for your Heavy quote, good to see you again ein Freund von mir!
Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, goodness GRACIOUS I need to finish that Star Fox crossover. I'm sorry write n wrong, I really need to work on that, I've been procrastinating on two other stories as it is. See you later.