Suggested by Ultrapyre
Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others
Super Sea Snail Shortage
Within probably the darkest corner of Inkopolis, there were chairs stacked neatly in a circle, in an equally dark room. With the flick of a light, the room was illuminated. The light revealed dozens of restless Super Sea Snails of a various variety of colors sitting on folding chairs, rattling to themselves, which I guess was there snail language. A box at the back of the room contained a few more snails, the wooden side ripped off the hinges, revealing their presence to the others. The rattling ceased when the banging of a gavel suddenly drew all of the little snails' attentions to the front.
On top of a wooden desk, a Super Sea Snail with a red shell and a top hat stared at those seated, with two yellow snails sitting by, guarding the spokesperson. Against all odds, they had managed to carry N-ZAP guns on the tips of their shells, sunglasses covering their eyes, looking like the most intimidating escargot you would ever see.
Now, while the only discernible noises were chirps and rattles, if the snails had vocal chords, the one sitting on the table might have said, "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming to Snail Con 2016."
Shaking in their shells, the snails applauded, the noise echoing throughout the small room as their shells rattled. Against all odds, the snail spokesperson bowed respectfully to the crowd despite its lack of… Anything, really.
"Thank you, thank you. Of course, by 2016, this happens to be the anniversary eons after the first Snail Con meeting our ancestors attended so long ago. Now, we have had some issues organizing this event. Our supervisors and those in charge were… Stuck in traffic." The head snail coughed out, looking at the ceiling.
For a moment, every snail in the room just stared down at the ground, a few silently weeping. Their small, cartoonish black pupils closed in solemn respect. Elsewhere, an Inkling or two groaned as their clothing stat rolls came out imperfect.
As soon as the miserable air died down, the Super Sea Snail with a top hat cleared its… mouth, and continued, "We have yet to discuss much about the future of us snails, but before we can do that, we must wait for the esteemed guests of the high snail order to arrive."
An uproar of excited shivering and chattering erupted from the snails, who hopped up and down in their seats, eliciting a smile out of the snail spokesperson. The wealthier snails- Or at least the snails sitting in the comfy box, rattled their shells together respectfully, equally as excited at the prospect of an appearance of this so called "high snail order". As the head snail beamed at his brethren happily celebrating, one of the guard snails dropped its N-ZAP and hopped over on a nearby box, jumping to where the head snail was seated.
"...Er, sir, I have a bit of bad news." The guard snail spoke up nervously.
"Well, what is it Roland? This is an imperative moment for all of snail-kind, this better not derail our plans." The head snail frowned.
The other Super Sea Snail bodyguard hopped up onto the table, lowering its sunglasses. "Dude, I knew we should have told him earlier."
"Ron, c'mon." Rolan whispered, beads of sweat dripping down the blue flesh of the snail.
"What? What is it you two?!" The head snail whispered frantically.
The two bodyguards looked around absentmindedly, eliciting a worried glare from the head snail. After a few moments, the chatter and hype of the crowd still serving as a noisy distraction, both guards sighed, staring at the head snail.
"Mr. Inteo…" The guards gulped, speaking simultaneously, "The high snail order… Let's just say that they were 'stuck in traffic' as well."
Inteo's eyes went as wide as snail eyes could possibly go. For a minute, he sat on the table in shock. As he sat, eventually the mood of the room began dropping, the audience of escargot staring at the head snail suspiciously. Inteo blinked, giving them all the most reassuring face he could muster, and turned back to his bodyguards.
"Then all of this has gone to waste! Without the supervision of them, our plans are shot! Shot I tell you! Our spirits... Our morale... All shot." Inteo shook himself, sighing a snail sigh.
"Sir, might we suggest finding a replacement?" Ron suggested, placing the sunglasses back on his face.
Adjusting his top hat, Inteo would have arched an eyebrow had snails have the capacity to grow them. "Who? The council was full of bright minds, dedicated to bettering the world for snails. Who in all of Inkopolis could possibly replace them?"
Flying high above, in the skies of Inkopolis, a seagull swung to and fro, attempting to stay with the breeze. In the bird's talons, there was a familiar snail, one named after sodium chloride, with a blue snail and a light face. Salty stared at the city below, air whistling past the snail as both he and the seagull flew through the sky.
If Salty spoke, he might have sighed. "This is like the third time this has happened." He glanced up at the seagull, tapping it with the top of his snail, attracting the seabird's attention, "Don't you have anything better to do?"
Now, if the seagull could talk, it might have said, "Meh, it's a living."
Rolling his eyes, Salty continued staring at the city below the two. All of a sudden, the bird began squawking, swerving about clouds erratically, dangling the poor snail by a thread.
"What's going on?!" Salty asked frantically.
The seagull struggled to stay in the air straight. "Turbulence!"
"What? But you're a bird, aren't you supposed to 'ride the winds' or something safely?" Salty asked, worriedly glancing to the ground.
Squawking again, the seagull began losing altitude. "Well, maybe if I didn't have something weighing me down-"
In his tirade, the seagull neglected to keep his hold on the snail shell, dropping it towards the awaiting Earth below, the gull blinking as it flapped in the air, watching as the Super Sea Snail chittered and shivered as it fell towards the ground into an industrial complex. Hovering above the steel roofs below, the bird gawked for a while, then shook itself, diving back for it with a sigh.
Back in the conference room, the snails were getting restless, hopping in their seats, asking multiple questions that almost no one could answer, losing patience quickly. Those sitting in their lofty wood box seats, while reserved, would give Inteo irritated looks, only unnerving the top hat wearing snail more. Waving their N-ZAPs at any snails that approached, the bodyguards shot hopeless stares towards Inteo, who simply sighed, lowering his hat off his head by tilting it down, staring at the table solemnly. Eyes closed, when he heard a distinct crashing noise, he had assumed that his brethren's anger had spiked, and was ready to accept his fate. He tensed up as he felt something tap on his shell.
"Hey."
This was truly his darkest days.
"Uh, excuse me?"
He- He was still alive. Blinking, he noticed that the noise and activity in the room had ceased, and all of the snails were staring towards the front yet again. Blinking, Inteo glanced around, thoroughly confused as to why the commotion had died down. Eventually, he realized that they were not staring directly at him, rather next to him. Glancing to the side, there laid another snail on top of the cardboard box by the table he sat on, light streaming through. Salty laid on the box, light streaming through the broken ceiling, resembling some sort of deity. The snails were silent, staring in awe at this being.
Salty's eyes opened slowly, colors flooding in as he blinked. Now, he was sure that the afterlife would look wonderful. In comparison, he did not expect that it would look like a dirty old room filled with snails. Either way, it was certainly a sight to behold, both for him and the snails in the room.
"...Hello." Salty spoke, all of the snails staring straight at him.
Suddenly, a plan hatched in Inteo's mind; the plan was a stretch, but it could solve his problems if he tried; Inteo hopped over to the side of the table and tapped Salty on the side. "It's great to finally have you here…?"
"...Salty." The snail put simply.
"Salty, of the high snail order! Perfect timing, you will lead the Super Sea Snail race to prosperity!" Inteo cheered, sneaking glances at the crowd.
They did not respond immediately, still comprehending the absurdities of the situation. Soon, applause grew slowly with the rattling of a single snail's shell, then the excitement returned, with hoots and hollers from the snails in their own respective language. Feeling as though he had dodged a bullet, Inteo tapped the side of the table, drawing all of the attention back to him, with a bewildered Salty turning his attention to the snail in the hat.
Satisfied with the excitement rekindled, Inteo continued. "It has been a rocky road organizing all of you since the end of Splatfests had ended, with the tremendous outpour of snails managing to survive, but sadly, the added effect of our race steadily declining over the course of a decade ever since we were used for gear upgrades by the Inklings… But we shall suffer no more."
Next to the spokesperson, Salty blinked, unsure of how to react to this. It was a strange turn of events, and he had certainly seen stranger, but this may just be something he could advocate for. It seemed all fine and good.
"For, with the aid of our good friend Salty," Inteo turned towards the snail, "We shall take back our lands by beating back those Inkling fiends, starting with destroying their city!"
Oh. Maybe not.
But before Salty could object, he was showered with praise and shell shakes from the excited snails. They were going absolutely bonkers, and our shelled protagonist could see that quite clearly, and was rather uncomfortable about the proceedings.
"...I'd like another go at the seagull." Salty gulped, hopping off the cardboard box.
Inteo only seemed to worsen the situation for the snail. "There goes our hero now! The revolution begins now my friends!"
The entire room burst into fanfare, the snails leaving their seats to catch up with their "hero". In reality, Salty was attempting to escape from this strange room full of even stranger snails, when the doors to the room swung open. Halting in front of it, the snails stared up at a confused Inkling, who wore a janitor's uniform, mop and bucket at his side.
He blinked for a moment, then shrugged, crouching down. "Alright. Least the kids will like these."
Approaching Salty, the snail backed away reluctantly. Before the janitor could grab a snail, the noise of a gun cocking startled him, and he froze. He was promptly smacked with a projectile, falling to the floor in a daze. The N-ZAP flung at him clattered on the floor, one of the bodyguard snails silently congratulating himself. Without any further reluctance, Salty began charging out, circling around the unconscious Inkling, attempting to escape.
"Score one for the snails. Follow the leader!" Inteo called out, rallying each and every snail, every single one of them hopping or rolling out of the room, pursuing Salty as he began to make his way out of the odd industrial complex.
Leaping out of an alleyway, Salty panted, leaning his shell on the wall of a metallic building, sighing. Glancing behind him, he groaned, an armada of snails still straight behind him. Hopping out of the pile, Inteo, his top hat still firmly stuck to his head reached Salty with a nonexistent grin.
"You're doing great!" He spoke up, Salty frowning at him as he spoke, "Morale is extremely high, we'll show those Inklings a thing or two!"
Salty sighed. "Look, uh, top hat guy, you gotta tell these guys I want no part of this. I just wanna get home."
"And we'll get it back, with YOUR guidance." Inteo reassured Salty, only irritating the other snail, "Plus, you're our only hope."
"Why don't you lead them, then?" He frowned.
Inteo shook itself with a cheery demeanor. "Sorry, but I can't get the top hat dirty."
As Salty rolled his eyes, Inteo and several other snails stared ahead, a fire rising in their eyes. Several Inklings stood ahead, speaking to one another, walking across the sidewalk. A few carried around Turf War gear among the many other busybodies of the city, sending chills up the snails' shells.
Inteo's expression hardened. "This is what we'll be remembered for, ladies and gentlemen."
"Wait, what?" Salty blinked, glancing at the others, "What are you-"
"Charge! This will be for all of our fallen!" Inteo yelled, the snails already banding together.
Salty hardly said a word as the snails began piling out of the alleyway, crowding the sidewalk. As they collectively piled up on the sidewalk, they slid forward, or at least tried to, looking like an avalanche of shiny shells. He simply glanced out of the corner.
The Inklings on the sidewalk stared at the pile of snails advancing towards them. Now, while they stared in silence, anyone in an automobile certainly did not, passing by on their merry way without a second thought. A few of the younger Inklings garbed in their shirts and shorts with advertisements plastered on them stared at the tidal wave of snails. As they snails approached, one Inkling walked towards the wall of snails and stared at the many pupils glaring at her. Not noticing the hostility, she simply grabbed one snail, skipping away happily. Immediately, the foundation began to crumble, leaving them all in the dust..
Groaning, Inteo hopped out of the pile, dizzily looking around, only for his heart to sink into the bottom of his tiny body. "Oh… NO!"
One by one, each snail was taken, and at that moment, it seemed as if the world was crumbling around Inteo. He gasped for breath, rolling on his side as the sidewalk was cleansed of snails, being taken away into the distance. He shut his eyes as he felt hands wrap around his shell.
Meanwhile, Salty just frowned; while they were practically writing their wills, he was safe behind the wall. He watched as they were taken, one by one, until the streets were finally clean. Salty sighed, shaking his head.
"Well good riddance." Salty sighed, hopping off, "That was tiring."
A gust of wind blew past Salty. Blinking, he found that the ground was slowly disappearing and that the clouds were getting close. Struggling, he attempted to break free, but found that it was useless. Glancing up, he met the beak of a seagull, who stared down at him.
"Hello, lunch." It squawked.
Salty groaned. "Hello, bird."
Once again, the endless cycle of predator and prey seemed to have caught up with Salty, who was stuck with his seagull once more.
"...This is the end of the Super Sea Snails." Inteo frowned.
As he was carried away with the rest of his brethren, the Inklings that had scavenged them on the street began attracting attention from other squids. They walked about, getting looks of envy and delight from others. The closer they got to Inkopolis Plaza, the more Inklings crowded around. Soon, a whole crowd of Inklings seemed to outnumber the snails, who just whimpered and shook, as the center of the plaza seemed to be chock full of them. Over at the side, the snails closest to an alleyway by the Squid Sisters' Studio would shiver the most, green irises and spikes glinting from the back as more and more Inklings flooded in.
"Hey, where'd you get all the snails?"
"They're so adorable!"
"Can I have one?"
Each and every question felt like a nail piercing Inteo's shell. Before he had more time to mope about his fate, one of the Inklings just smiled and handed him off to another one.
"Sure!" She spoke up, "I can always just get some more from Judd."
Inteo's eyes opened up. "Wait, what?"
Another Inkling cocked an eyebrow. "Whoa, what?"
"Yeah, didn't you hear?" She spoke up, glancing over at Inkopolis Tower, where a certain cat remained stationary and sleeping by the front entrance, "You win enough battles, and Judd will give you a free snail!"
Suddenly, Inteo and his brethren were stowed away, a few kept by Inklings sides, safely ported away from the alley, much to a sea urchin's disappointment. Interested murmurs and whispers followed. All of the snails were still quite shocked. For a moment, no one knew what their fate would be.
"Well if that's the case… I'm keeping this one. It has a nice hat." The female carrying Inteo smiled, rubbing its shell.
At that moment, Inteo could not believe his luck. All of a sudden, the Inklings did not seem too bad. Still, if he wanted justice, he would get it, he swore it.
If Inteo could speak, he might have called out to his companions, "Praise the snails of above! We live to fight another day!"
Luckily for them, Inklings could not understand them, and the cheers of the snails were taken as happiness that they were being spirited away to a different home. In reality, they conspired for yet another comeback, but that is a story for another day. As each satisfied Inkling in the plaza shuffled off with their snail haul, the crowd dispersed until there were a select few left. Out of the plaza, a trio of Inklings glanced at the crowd carrying the rebellious snails away. One of them adjust their Takoroka Mesh, blinking at the group.
"Aw." Sharq sighed, shaking his head, "Everyone but us got so many snails."
Behind him, Ari flaunted his Jungle Hat, shaking his head as well. "Yeah. Perhaps if SOMEONE actually joined our team, we might have stood a chance."
Contrary to the two of them wearing t-shirts that had Callie displayed proudly on them, Splin stood to the side, adjusting his headphones, wiping off his Marie shirt.
"We've been over this. It hardly matters who won or who lost. Jeez, Sharq, you chose a great name for our snail." Splin frowned.
"Don't be a spoilsport, rival." The orange squid teenager spoke up with a frown.
Splin gave him a glare. "You two were the ones who kept complaining about teammates being salty and-"
"Now Splin, Ari's right. Besides, you're right as well!" Sharq nodded, "There really is only one snail for us."
The younger brother deadpanned. "That isn't the- Oh never mind."
Shaking his head, Splin waved his farewell to Ari, who simply chuckled and returned the goodbye. As the group dispersed, they hardly noticed the seagull circling overhead, toting an impressive haul: One very bored Super Sea Snail.
AN: I feel as though I should give more ambiguous characters chances to shine.
But aside from that, there isn't much to talk about... Except for our lovely reviews.
The first review I'm going to address is dillxox123's. Dude, like, I get that you were hyped for Splatfest and all, but I would've appreciated it if you had posted the review on a chapter pertaining to that and not just spam your message all across other stories. I'm sorry Team Callie lost as well, if you're reading this, just please leave a review that's more substantial or related next time, because it just really came across as a little annoying that you would think little of my story as something you could just flaunt your team pick on. Sorry, but it just kinda bugged me. If you do think little of my story, please just tell me and don't just say that you are on Team Callie in the reviews... But I guess I can't moderate you, so... Sorry.
Glad I got that off my chest. With that said and done, thanks write n wrong and Ultrapyre for reviewing.
Everyone seems to be talking about a sequel, write n wrong. That's pretty great for the community, but I have a sinking feeling Ultrapyre may be a little irritated by all this sequel talk…
Cough, uh, Ultrapyre, thanks for giving me quite the suggestion, hope it was a nice read. Looking forward to your story with bated breath.
Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to read or something. See you.