This chapter of the Brothers and the Others is sponsored by our sponsors. Procrastination: Good for making people drop their reading without any of the embarrassing consequences of writing explicit eroticism.
Want to play? Splatoon One is here for all your ink slinging needs! So long as it the Switch's Internet is free the Wii U is still mildly alive.
...Then again Mario Kart 8 Deluxe just released so...
Special thanks to the single-player campaign of Splatoon for detailing that those orbs of ink that connect to each other with lines of ink are called Ink Rails. I'm so embarrassed for missing that detail you don't even know man.
Now back to your regularly scheduled "Splatter's Shell: The Revenge of Octopus Girl" fanfic.
Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others
Chi's Rebellion
"My dear…." Winst crooned as she brushed her fingers through Chi's tentacle hair. "Have I told you how much I believe in you?"
"I know Winst." Chi nodded grimly.
"I truly do. You loyal rebel you." Winst smiled softly.
Chi turned her face away. Though she attempted to gaze anywhere else, Winst reached under her head and pulled her head back towards her and tapped her on the nose much to her annoyance.
"In all honesty however, I do not believe you should waltz out into your mission with such a...cluster upon your crown." Winst muttered as she examined her coconut.
Chi huffed as Winst ruffled through her tentacles. "Sorry. I'd hate to look like a mess in front of you."
Winst pouted and rested her chin on Chi's tentacles. "Oh please don't be like that. I hate to see you gloomy. Makes you look like a bloated pufferfish."
"Thanks." Chi muttered with a flustered expression.
"Oh do lighten up Chi. They may get the wrong idea." Winst hummed and rubbed down her tentacles with a gesture outwards.
The duo of Octolings sat crouched in the tent. Unlike before, the tent's flaps were wide open and revealed a crowd of Octarian rebels that gazed back at the pair. An uproar of cheers bounced all about the caverns. Through the dim lighting Chi bore witness to an impressive mass of red rebellious clothes and anticipation written on squishy yet hardened faces.
"...Winst, I have a question." Chi muttered at her.
"Mmh?" She hummed all while she brushed Chi's tentacles.
Chi pushed her hand away and stared up at her. "Why the faith? What happens if I fail?"
"You'll die of course." Winst stretched out with one leg stretched over the other.
"Oh." Chi blinked and stared at her superior as she waved at the crowd. "...That's it huh?"
"Aside from that it's a piece of cake, isn't it?" Winst shrugged positively down at her. "You're their savior Chi." She "reassured" her as she spoke into Chi's ears underneath her tentacles.
Chi shivered in a very nauseous sense, much to Winst's amusement. "Really?"
"You still don't believe me." Winst sighed and rubbed her temples. "What type of an attitude is that to have with your supporters?"
Chi hesitated for a moment. "Supporters?"
Winst smiled again and stood up. "Walk with me."
"...No thank you." Chi switched into an octopus and suctioned herself to the ground.
"Oh Chi." Winst crooned down at the round cephalopod. "Feeling a little ridden with stage fright?"
"Yes." Chi admitted haplessly.
Winst quickly swiveled her head back towards the crowd, gave them a dainty smile, and then crouched down to Chi. "There are much worse things to be afraid of my dear. I will show you what you mean to us."
"I know." Chi shivered as she stared up at her.
With a laugh Winst bent down and gripped her by her round head. Despite Chi's best efforts to remain fastened to the earth she found herself scooped up in Winst's grasp. Chi gazed back down at her from her new uplifted perch with a gloomy pair of eyes.
"Chi, I don't understand," Winst admitted as she stepped ahead outside of the tent, "If you return you will be a hero. You already have several admiring fans too."
Chi stared down at the crowd and could not help but sigh. The whole mob of them continued to praise her as flattering as the ragtag audience could. Chi's tentacles sagged from Winst's palm as she gazed down at the crowd. For one sudden moment the cheering paused as she was hefted up into the air towards the ceiling. Although the red-clothed audience had calmed Chi could not help but shrink as their eyes trained on the small octopus in the crazy lady's palm.
Speaking of crazy Winst then let Chi fall to the floor as she shouted, "Rebels of Amphio!"
"Ow!" The other Octoling complained, as she dropped, and quickly shifted back into her humanoid form.
"As you all know, Octavio has been planning a scheme for months now." Winst kept a careful eye on the crowd as she spoke. "A plan that would plunge Octo Valley into battle and turmoil most likely."
The other Octarians present shuffled throughout the crowd. A few shouted out in an agreeing aggravation. Chi watched quietly as as Winst's hands rose up in a pacifying stance. The onlookers fell into another silence.
"Now, as easy as it may sound to sit back and watch, will we really just let the flames of war broil over while we simply sit back safe and sound?" Winst inquired and arched her eyebrow at the crowd.
There was a long pause in the gathering until someone piped up, "Yes? That sounds good."
Although Chi would not admit it, she gazed in the direction of that someone, with a silent sense of agreement that hung on her lips. Unfortunately it appeared that Winst did not particularly agree. She glowered in the same direction, reached into her raggedy dress, and pulled out a rinky-dink Octoshot that appeared weathered with age. Within the Octoshot's clear ammo chamber was a suspicious bubbling fluid. Without a moment of hesitation she aimed towards the audience and fired.
"Ack!" Sputtered an octopus somewhere in the front row. Then came the sound of something sizzling as if someone in the audience were now cooking.
"Let me rephrase that." Winst muttered and stuffed the Octoshot back into her dress much to Chi's bewilderment. At the spot where an Octarian once stood in the crowd was now a sizzling puddle. "It is our responsibility as the Amphio Alliance to prevent another full scale war. Even with the safe chance that we can hide away from the Inkling menace, who's to say that Octavio won't rat us out?"
A much more discernible clamor rang out from the crowd. Chi sat still rather uncomfortable atop the rocky surface of the ground. Though the floor was about as comfortable as a rock could be to a young octopus the only thing more uncomfortable than the solid surface was the audience. They continued to gaze upon Winst with a fierce loyalty.
"Of course, I think I may be too harsh. I'm sure his legion of well-trained soldiers can handle a few kids with paint guns." She shrugged, and as if a switch was flicked, prompted a raucous bout of chuckles. "And if he can't handle it, then you know, that only means the Octarian race's extinction."
The caverns stopped their laughter almost as quickly as she had mentioned the word extinction. With an offended countenance Chi cleared her throat.
"Ah! But of course Chi." Winst clasped her hands together and pulled her comfortless companion up by her arm and held her arm high. "Luckily for us we have this little miracle to aid us in our most dire situation."
All of the octopuses present in the room barely managed a blink at her.
"...What?!" Chi glared at the assemblage. "Seriously?"
"Oh heavens, ladies, gentlemen, please. I'm sure being stunned into silence must be flattering but I fully expect that you receive our champion with the wonderful respect she deserves. After all she is our ticket to revelation." She announced as she slapped said ticket on the back.
Chi blinked back at the crowd. The crowd blinked back at her. Needless to say it was a riveting exchange that would go down as a momentous decision in Octarian history.
"That settles that then!" Winst announced with an increased fervor. "Using this device," Winst pulled out a shifty device from her dress again much to Chi's befuddlement, "Little Miss Chi here has the ability to use one of their greatest strengths to our advantage."
Again there was a pause and a lapse of nothing happening.
"...She will take advantage of a small weakness in the enemy's judgement." Winst explained.
It was at this point where Chi attempted to scoot back inside of the tent. The audience and Winst stared at her as she attempted to scale the rocks in the most mundane method possible for an Octoling. Winst retrieved the device and forced it into Chi's hands impatiently then redirected her attention towards the crowd.
"She's going to take a hostage." Winst explained dryly. "Or die trying."
The world seemed to freeze around Chi. For one terrible moment her hearts must have stopped. Then, as if an alarm were sounded, a round of applause cluttered the room. Chi continued to revel in horror at Winst's speech while Winst beamed as brightly as if the sun itself floated about the rocky room.
"I- I-" Chi stuttered breathlessly.
"That's the spirit." Winst hummed along with the crowd's roar. "You all are such a lovely audience. Please stay tuned for the results. I promise they'll be..."
The crowd continued to cheer their unlikely hero on.
"A blast." Winst grinned.
All of a sudden the crowd went silent and the sound of crickets permeated the caverns. The only sound left was the sound of Chi shaking in place. It was not unlike a pebble clacking among the floor.
"..." Winst glared back at them.
Someone in the crowd began to clap and cheer again albeit much less enthused than before. The others joined in until the applause was revived. Still paralyzed wordless Chi stared back at the crowd fearfully. They gazed back and laughed with friendly faces and began to cheer again as the Octoling sat and stared. Dragged across the ground, she let herself be pulled, Winst with a bright big smile as she did so. Eventually as the shade of the tent fell upon the pair her terrified gaze out was blocked off by the closed flaps of the tent.
Winst let Chi's hand go then dusted off her own hips. "Well, I feel excited, don't you?"
Chi shuddered in place for quite some time. After inspecting her from head to toe, Winst reached over Chi's head, and cupped her face in her hands. Chi stopped immediately.
"Better?" Winst inquired soothingly.
"No." Chi answered back as she shook her head in between Winst's palms.
"Too bad! You're going." Winst announced and released her cheeks with a hearty laugh. She retrieved the device from her dress and plopped it down on the floor in front of her. "It's life and death Chi. Either you go or I will."
"Then you go!" Chi complained in exasperation.
"Very well." Winst spoke up and cocked her Octoshot down at her face. "I'll go and you'll die."
"Then I'll go!" Chi rose to her feet swiftly.
"Perfect!" Winst beamed and holstered her weapon. "I expect the enemy party to arrive soon after your success." She leaned down and patted her on the shoulder. "We're all counting on you Chi."
"..." Chi stared out at the crowd as they shouted and laughed in the mosh pit of a cave. "...No you aren't. You're counting on this." She rested her hand on the device coldly.
Chi stood up on her tired beaten boots and walked out of the tent. She stowed it away and walked through the crowd of strangers.
"...We could've stolen from them." Winst frowned down at Chi from the top of the Octostriker. "We could've shown them their mistakes. What they did to us...we could have shown them tenfold what we faced." She shut her eyes and a single tear dripped down her cheek. "But you...YOU-"
Winst's eyes opened slightly. To her right Chi sneaked past on the tips of her boots for a few seconds before she caught the eye of her adversary. Thoroughly alerted, Chi started to tiptoe past faster. With a hiss Winst hopped down from Barro's tentacle and slammed down feet-first in front of the cautious Chi.
"Are you IGNORING me?!" Winst demanded with an irritated flaunt of her dress.
Chi switched into octopus form and attempted to leap past. Winst walked to the left. Chi slammed into Winst's abdomen and fluttered to the ground as if she were nothing more than a snowball. Rubbing her head, she lifted her Octoling head back up, and immediately regretted her decision to stare.
Winst's pupils were a mix of pure anger with a lovely tinge of depressing gray. "My dear Chi...there's no running from this. You have to accept it."
"No." Chi shook her head and tried to leap past her again.
She found herself face down on the floor with her legs hopelessly dangling in the air. "You made a mistake. A big mistake." Winst shook her head. "You went back to them. Even after we gave you everything. We were so worried when you climbed into the Inkling world...those fiends." Winst gripped Chi by her Octoling Boots. "You even returned to those...warmongers."
"You sent me out to kill someone!" Chi complained and attempted to claw away as she grasped for a faint light at back of the caverns.
Winst blinked boredly and took note of a slight illumination her hapless victim continued to try and crawl towards. "...You both survived." Winst shrugged and tugged at her boot. "A minor setback."
Chi scratched at the stone floor. She frowned at the stone for a moment. All of a sudden, a surge of frustration coursed through her. Chi shoved her foot back towards her captor and felt her boot collide with soft flesh with the added yelp to affirm she had hit her target.
"Urgh!" Winst gritted her teeth. "Nice try darling, but it's going to take more than one kick to -"
Chi kicked back again, then thrice, four times more. Each time she kicked Winst in the abdomen it only seemed to irritate the rebel leader more and more. It was not until the fifth kick when Winst's body finally seemed to react to the abuse and she spat up a glob of dark fuchsia glob of ink.
"Enough!" Winst retaliated by kneeling Chi below her Octoling Armor.
"Blegh!" Chi grunted and fell slack to the ground.
With a sinister smile, Winst shook her head dotingly at her foe, circling around her fallen body. "Tsk tsk. Octavio certainly had you best interest in mind when designing armor that only covers your chest."
"Thanks for noticing." Chi muttered weakly.
"Come on." Winst reassured her as she dragged her across the stone hard floor ungracefully. "We'll take you back to the camp and your destiny. It isn't too late."
"No." Chi thought and scratched at the pavement. "No, no, no."
Winst smiled back down at her menacingly. "We'll set you up. We'll send you back up. And the best part, oh, do you want to know the best part?"
"No, no, no!" Chi crawled as best she could with only two arms.
"Too bad I'm telling you anyways!" Winst asserted gleefully. "After you and Miss Mai pass on, we'll get that pretty little pair of Octolings that you seem to love so much. Octavio won't take our threats lightly!"
"You're crazy!" Chi cried out in horror.
"I'm very flamboyant Chi. But I'm far from insane!" Winst grinned back at her.
Chi grunted and weakly attempted to switch into an octopus. Before she had the chance to slip away, Winst kneed her in the gut, eliciting another painful yowl. Sweat dripped from Chi's forehead as her face hung over the floor strenuously.
Chi blinked sorely. "Bleeegh…"
"Look Barro!" Winst announced gleefully. "I caught her! Oh how embarrassing this must be for you, Chi!"
The Octostriker glared down at her in the dark and grunted at her.
"Oh of course." She nodded back up at him. Winst began to walk up her companion's tentacles as they sat on the floor. "It isn't fair to tease her. After all, it is thanks to her we got so far."
Chi's eyes rolled in a daze as she was dragged along. She mustered all the strength she could to lift her head up off of the rough cave floor and for another kick. She feebly raised her leg up and pushed her boot towards Winst shakily. Winst scowled as the boot rubbed against the arm she dragged Chi with.
"Ick." Winst muttered as she dusted herself off and quickly delivered a swift kick to Chi's side. The feeble Octoling beneath her made no other attempts at fighting back as she laid sprawled out in pain and shock. "We need to get her out of those horrid clothes and back into our colors. They're leaving a terrible taste in my mouth."
Barro grunted again with more severity.
"Oh please." Winst waved him off. "I'm refined. Not a pervert. I'll look away when-"
At this point the Octostriker devolved into a series of panicked grunts that made it far more difficult to be deciphered. With a scowl Winst snapped her fingers in front of his face repeatedly with one foot planted on Chi's abdomen.
"What is it now?" Winst crossed her arms.
"Octavio!" The Octostriker bellowed in clear speech and raised one of his tentacles out from the dark alcove of rocks he sat in.
Winst furrowed her brow and turned back inwards towards the caverns behind them. She squinted, and yet all she could see was darkness and patches of debris. She surveyed the area with a sharp eye for a moment then laughed heartily.
"Oh Barro, you're just being paranoid!" Winst shrugged her shoulders. "You must be seeing things. Octavio wouldn't spare a visit himself-"
"How about an Octocopter then?!" A voice called out from behind her.
Winst gasped and spun around at the speed of sound with nowhere to go. She eyed the ceiling and air of the cavern suspiciously and trained her hearing. She squinted again and reached into her raggedy dress and retrieved a familiar Octoshot which caused Chi's eyes to widen. The Octoling on the floor squirmed back and forth but could not wrench herself free of her enemy's grip. All the while, Winst aimed to and fro out towards the caverns, thoroughly alert.
"...What did you see Barro?" Winst demanded as she cocked one eye.
Barro grunted in a panic again and pointed towards a set of rocks. Winst narrowed her eyes and aimed towards the debris suspiciously. Her eyes trained on the stationary pile of boulders and pebbles. Chi could not help but lie helplessly and watch. At the sound of a pebble being scattered Winst fired, blasted, and shot the rocks into oblivion. A surge of murky ink fired from the Octoshot and blasted through the boulders.
"Aaagblrbb…" Came a faint cry from the rocks.
"No!" Chi cried out.
Winst smiled as the rocks began to dissolve on the spot. "Ooh…" She began to holster the weapon. "Oh Chi. I'm sorry."
Chi glared up at Winst. "I hate you."
"You're just saying that." Winst glowered down at her. "When we return to our camp, I'll-"
"You missed me!" The voice called back again.
Without looking, Winst retrieved her Octoshot, and rapidly fired back into the cave. The sound of sizzling among silence and the remnants of rock clattering against the floor was all she could hear.
"Show yourself." Winst commanded the darkness as she cocked her weapon for another show of force.
The immediate response back was a rock. The stone smacked Winst in the chest and caused her to fall to the floor with a shocked yelp. Chi made a noise similar to that of a laugh and a cry as she stared hopefully into the dark.
Winst stood back up and brushed herself off instantly. "Very, very funny! No, that's hilarious!"
Another rock came by for a fly by and was not shy about crashing into Winst's face.
She spat towards the caverns hatefully. "Even funnier the second time!"
Winst fired again, and again, and a third time into the cave. Her shots became a blur and her arm and weapon a mirage as they spun. Chi watched as Winst's arm appeared to split into three as they picked up speed. Eventually the trigger made a funny click noise and the acidic fluid that burst from the gun was completely empty. Sweat beading her forehead and her arm thoroughly sore, Winst stood gasping for breath as she stared ahead. After her assault on the caverns it appeared as though the cave was now several times larger than before her tantrum.
She listened very intently and did not dare turn from the scene of carnage as she huffed repeatedly. The only discernible sound left was the sound of melting and dripping in tandem. The other octopuses stared at her in terror. Barro and Chi exchanged the same uneasy glance for a second then turned back.
"Well Chi." Winst sighed and holstered her gun as she desperately attempted to maintain her own composure. "I hope you learned a valuable lesson today."
"..." Chi stared at her blankly.
"Is there something on my face?" Winst inquired and dusted herself off yet again.
"No, but there's something hovering above you." Chi pointed out.
All too quickly Winst fell for the bait hook, line, and sinker. Turning towards the ceiling again she aimed her weapon and was subsequently tackled. Chi launched her octopus form at her back. She felt good about the blow, but instantaneously did not as she felt her noggin trade blows with a dome of metal.
Chi bounced backwards into her Octoling form and rubbed her head. "Ow!"
"Sorry! Guess we had the same idea?" A voice came from in front of her.
Chi pushed Winst away and beamed. "Jerry!"
The Octocopter butted Winst off of him as well and smiled back. "Hi!"
"Oh," Chi cried out and wrapped her arms around the smaller octopus, "Thank you…"
"Ahem." They heard a voice clear its throat behind them.
The two Octarians perked up and instantly ruined their own moment. They gazed up and were immediately reminded of the ginormous Octostriker which towered over both of them. Chi and Jerry frowned up at their humongous adversary.
"...Ha!" They heard Winst sputter behind them. "You may have momentarily crippled me, but what do you expect a pair of tiny Octavio drones to do to my very dear Barro?"
Barro grunted and raised his giant violet arms. Thinking fast, Chi reached down and hoisted Jerry up to her chest and ran away from the caverns. Barro's tentacle rippled shockwaves throughout the cave as Chi zipped away from the blow as fast as her two legs could carry her. She stumbled and tripped occasionally but continued to stand upright as the cave shook around the pair.
"Chi!" Jerry glanced up at the ceiling.
Chi glanced up for a brief second, took the time to yelp, then careened forward as a stalactite came precariously close to making an octo-kabob out of the both of them. Before she could catch her breath she spied with her little eye another rocky spear as it shook itself free. She leaned to the left but still felt the stalactite graze her shoulder, and cringed as she felt the sharp pain run down her arm.
Jerry pivoted towards the ceiling. "Don't let go of me!"
"Why would I?!" Chi asked frantically as a hail of detritus rained from the ceiling like arrows.
"Just don't!" Jerry yelped and trained his forehead weapon on the rocks. "It'd be embarrassing for both of us if you dropped me!"
Chi simply sighed and held the Octocopter tighter. Jerry's cannon attached to his head began to fire slow spheres of fuchsia towards the top. As the stalactites fell, they were caught by the spheres, and subsequently deflected away from the two of them. The ones that were blasted away shattered on the walls and the floor. The several others that did not continued to hound Chi as if they were heat-seeking, the rocks falling to and fro to attempt to destroy the both of them.
"Oh Cod, oh Cod, oh Cod." Jerry panicked as he shot.
A stray bullet bounced up and splashed into Chi's face. "Bleh!"
"Chi!" Jerry yelped out in shock.
The disconcerted Chi held onto Jerry uncomfortably tight as she rubbed her face clean with her free arm. Convenient to both of them, one lucky stalactite won the obstacle lottery, and impaled itself directly in front of them. As Chi ran blindly towards the exit her boot happened to smack into the stalactite base.
"Whoa!" Chi yelped as she sprinted faster in an effort to stay balanced.
"Tighter, hold tighter!" Jerry panicked as his face came dangerously close to scraping across the floor, and neither Octarian seemed enthused with the idea of the poor Octotrooper being used as a broom.
The both of them squinted and Chi let herself fall as they fell towards the outside light. The blinding light of day pierced their vision and temporarily blinded the both of them as they rushed out of the cave and into the sunlight. They spent five whole seconds marveling in the wonder of light and the refreshing breeze blowing past them.
As soon as the five seconds expired Chi finally tripped and fell flat on the floor. A duet of "Ouch!" resonated from the ground they flopped face down upon.
"I need a bandage…" Chi remarked as she rubbed her nose.
"I need a new face." Jerry muttered as his expression stung.
The sounds of boulders crumbling behind them continued. Turning around quickly, the two of them watched as the caverns collapsed behind them, rubble piling up into a sizable barricade which had completely obstructed the cave. As the dust settled, the two Octarians glanced at each other. Both broke into a smile.
"Take that you rebel scum!" Chi laughed back at the cave.
"...Uh, yeah!" Jerry cheered halfheartedly. "...Doesn't that make us the bad guys?"
"..." Chi's shoulders sagged.
"Uh, sorry!" Jerry shrunk under her gaze. "I just thought-"
He was interrupted by Chi hugging him tighter. "It doesn't matter! We're alive!"
Jerry sighed and simply let himself be embraced. Not that there was much that could stop Chi in the first place. It was a quick embrace, and even then, Chi continued to hold on even after the "hug" was over. The both of them turned back around and gazed forward.
The cliffs of Octo Valley were certainly intimidating and that was a fact. A ginormous rocky line enclosed the valley and bridged a path ahead of the Octarians. The gigantic rocky octopus continued to sit plainly. Chi could not help but smile at the giant octopus as if it were a long lost friend.
"Alright…" Chi sighed and rubbed at her abdomen where a bruise laid. "C'mon Jerry. The worst is behind us."
"You can say that again." Jerry sighed alongside her.
They began to walk forward. Within seconds however, the rocky terrain in front of them exploded. Chi fell back on her side as debris scattered everywhere and shielded Jerry from the pebbles as they rained down. Without a word Chi managed to stand up and limp away from the looming shadow above as the dust fell.
Barro's humongous tentacles slammed and swiveled about in the earth as he attempted to wrench himself free of the rocks. "OCTAVIO!"
Several birds flapped out of their hiding spots within the trees and their perches upon the rocks all throughout the valley. Beads of fuchsia sweat dripped down Jerry's forehead as he whispered encouragement up to the tired Octoling carrying him. Despite the fact it felt as though her torso would split in half, she continued forward, her gear coated with dust.
"Have to get across." She thought frantically as she stumbled across. In the distance, a speck among the rocks, though blurry, stood out poignantly to her. "I have to tell her."
"There!" A triumphant voice called. The sound of a gun cocking only made Chi's hearts sink. "Barro my dear! Chi's getting away! Quickly!"
"No." Chi gritted her teeth. "Not like this."
"Chi?" Jerry asked by her chest.
Chi managed to glance at him.
"I need you to throw me." Jerry nudged towards the speck in the distance.
"Throw…?" Chi blinked tiredly ahead.
"It's the only way." Jerry told her impatiently. "I can get help."
Chi did not dare stop. However, she found her legs began to buckle, and Jerry himself felt like the greatest weight she ever had to bear. Her boots scratches against the ground sluggishly and she felt as though she were melting.
"I'll be fine. I used to play college ball." Jerry reassured her with a smile. "Literally as the ball."
"...What college did you go to? Chi asked out of fatigued curiosity.
Jerry tried to hide his smile.
The sound of the Octostriker's heavy tentacles and the sound of rock shattering left Chi with little choice left. Raising her arm weakly with Jerry's back on the palm of her hand, she hurled the Octocopter as best as she could. Jerry spiralled forward through the air off into the distance and blurred as he travelled farther and farther off. Chi smiled.
Then she collapsed breathless on the floor. The last thing she heard before she lost consciousness was the sound of cackling.
AN: The Switch really is addictive though. It reminds me of my first impressions of the PSP: Powerful and portable.
Switch doesn't have Patapon 2 though so it's automatically a flop Nintendo.
(I'm not actually sponsored I swear)
Aside from the fact that I will never be able to play another Patapon game ever again rendering this entire universe pointless let's take a look at the review. Thanks TrickyJebus for sympathizing with the fact none of us can write without motivation!
Thanks for reading. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, maybe I'll see you in another story?