Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others

Staycation Migration Ignoration and Lengthy Explanations

"Screwdriver please," Splin muttered as he extended his right arm to the side.

Splin wiped blue drops of sweat off his brow with his left hand for the hundredth time. Unfortunately, whereas the grass continued to sprout with the sun shining overhead, all Splin grew was fatigued. Not to mention sweaty. His headphones were nearly waterlogged with nothing but the color blue as they laid strewn around his neck.

As he sighed and wiped away a deluge of blue droplets from his brow, Splin cocked one eye open and glanced to the left. "Uh, screwdriver?"

A bulky, colorful toolbox laid by his side. The box suddenly twitched as Splin spoke, then the box's top lid flung open revealed a small array of tools. Among the several wrenches, drills, and mechanical saws, a single metal screwdriver laid tightly between the rest of the various instruments. Splin reached down to the toolbox with his left hand while his body struggled to stay upright.

Before he could touch the screwdriver, the toolbox suddenly clamped down on his hand like a clam and flashed rapidly. The box beamed with light like a disco ball as it munched to its own content. Splin's hand also shifted in color, only his case blemished into a purplish-blue.

"Aah!" Splin bashed the toolbox with his right hand. "Down cube, down!"

Splin swung his left hand up, which carried the toolbox and shook it back and forth wildly. The toolbox stuck stubbornly to his hand while the surface of the box flashed with the entire color spectrum. Though his hand felt as though it were melting, Splin gawked around the roof and eventually spied a large metal rod lying upon the other side. Without hesitation, he switched into a blue squid, slid towards the other side of the roof, and gripped the rod with his left tentacle.

"Huh." Splin lifted his arm up off the floor and shook it back and forth.

Splin rose back up as an Inkling and wriggled his left fingers hesitantly. He dropped the rod and let it fall down to the floor with an audible clang. His fingers felt sore as he gawked at the toolbox as it laid face-down and upside-down on the ground. Several tools laid sprawled out on the roof next to the toolbox. With a scowl and while he caressed his swollen hand, Splin walked tentatively towards the box and nudged it with the tip of his shoe.

A silent moment passed until Splin spoke up, "Tele?"

The metal instruments, as well as the toolbox itself, flashed, sparked, and rattled violently. All of a sudden, the utensils began to move. Every tool except for the screwdriver began to slide back and underneath the box's lid. As the tools returned to the container, sparks flew from the toolbox, which fizzled out as they fell upon the roof. Splin could only watch as the object swiftly erupted in flames.

Exasperation plagued Splin as he gazed at the new metal box. "Okay. Sure."

The new toaster oven opened its glass door and responded back with a tray stacked with toasted bagels, all flipped over with the flat side pointing skywards. Several of the bagels had been coated with different colored spreads, some of which resembled jam, and others that wore soot and cinders for dressing.

Splin could only stare at the device and its treats with his arms crossed. "...Can't we just build the flipping Beakon?"

Splin squinted at the bagels. He reached over again carefully with his right hand with one eye cocked at the toaster oven. Ever cautious, he held his hand over the baked goods. Despite the charred crusts, Splin felt only a subtle warmth as his hand hovered above the bagels. Splin stuffed one hand in his pockets, blew on the bagels, then picked one up and took a nibble.

Splin immediately spat the bite out, as well as several blue globs. "Eugh!" He lowered the bagel to the floor and eyed the blue substance. "Blech! Ink jam?"

Splin raised his arm and rapidly wiped his tongue with his tee's sleeve. Splin sputtered and shook his head, only to freeze in place as he glanced towards the appliance. The toaster oven beeped sadly as the bagels slid away with the wind.

"Sorry." Splin reeled his tongue in reluctantly and shivered uncomfortably at the taste. "This is just… Weird. You know. It's not every day your toolbox disintegrates into a-"

He paused. Splin sniffed the air again and blew at the cloud of smoke that puffed up.

"Let me rephrase that," Splin admitted, "It's startling, y'know? Falling apart like that then suddenly—out of the blue—Rematerializing like nothing happen."

Splin frowned suddenly. He glanced at both his arms in disdain, down at two scars wrapped in a circle around both of his appendages, both adorned with small bandages that displayed portraits of cutesy squid mascots. Splin and the toaster shared a stare at the bandage bracelets.

"I mean… Well..." Splin groaned, "Screw it, it's weird, that's what it is. Are you okay?"

The toaster oven rustled back at him. As it stopped, the toaster's tray snapped off and several bagels fled from the chamber. Each one rolled in a different direction: a few quickly toppled over and fell flat on the floor, other bagels rolled over the side of the roof and fell, and a few disintegrated. Several bagels literally burned to minuscule crisps and floated away in the summer breeze. Finally, the toaster shivered and wheezed out a plume of smoke, which drifted off into the sky. In a matter of seconds, the toaster gave a final hiss, then promptly crumbled into pieces.

"Oh ship," Splin cried out wide-eyed, "No, nevermind!"

Alarmed, Splin dropped to his knees and reached for the pieces. As soon as his hand brushed through the debris, they glowed brightly and suddenly reassembled. Unfortunately, they happened to reassemble back into a toolbox, and clamped back onto Splin's hand.

"Agh!" Splin's entire body shot up as the box tightened. "C'mon, you're really making helping you harder than it needs to beeaaagh!"

The box gnawed on his palm and continued to climb up his arm, happy to snack away on his seafood. Splin cried out with each bite and began to push the box repeatedly with his free hand as it climbed up towards his arm's scar. After a series of bashes to the metal object, the toolbox's grip on him loosened and slid down and off his hand back onto the roof. Splin groaned as he held his left hand in his now bruised right hand. He nudged the box with his shoe, only to step away as the box tried to chew into his shoe's sole.

"I don't know what's your malfunction, but until we get you fixed," Splin grumbled while he shuffled away, "We're not fixing this Beakon!"

Splin peeped across the roof as he flailed his arm about. On the opposite corner of the roof stood a single Squid Beakon. However, the main dish of the Beakon sagged and leaned crooked on its side, and stood up on three legs: one leg stood perfectly straight and shined with polish, another leg stood short, and the third leg was split in half with one piece still attached and the other rolling around the roof in a circle.

Splin wiped another wave of sweat off his brow, recoiled as his sore hand throbbed at the touch, and shook his head. "Or at least making sure that this doesn't kill someone when they jump."

Splin reached into his pocket with his good hand and retrieved a small, folded sheet of paper. He began to unfold the paper, keeping a close eye on the toolbox, until it expanded above his head into a tall set of blueprints. Inscribed in the blueprints were several lines of directions, each one more extensive and complicated than the last. The middle of the blueprints displayed the Squid Beakon like it was on the roof, except this diagram was slightly well-crafted.

"Just when I thought I had you out of my head." Splin ruffled the sheet and frowned at the sky.

Aside from the text printed in the blueprints, the paper had plenty of notes written down in pen ink, with calligraphy befitting that of a toddler.

"Oh joy. I missed you Mr. Critic." Splin rolled his eyes. "My world was just falling apart without you."

While Splin remained blissfully ignorant of the fragile nature of his universe, with a shake of his head, he folded the blueprints back into a compact square of paper and slipped it back inside of his shorts' pocket.

"Alright, I'm done," He sighed as he glanced down to the roof, "This part is going to be fun."

He bent over and pressed his hand sideways to the floor a handful of steps away from the toolbox, which stared at him as he moved. As he reached for the handle, he hesitated again, but reached for the box again regardless. It growled viciously, then chomped at Splin, who quickly stuffed his hand back down his pocket.

"Tele, go downstairs!" Splin scolded as he waggled his free finger at the toolbox.

The toolbox began to bark at Splin repeatedly. It chomped towards him, hungrily pining for Splin's hand.

"...Well, it was worth a try." Splin sighed.

Splin yelped in alarm. Stuffing both hands safely down his pockets, he began to sprint around the roof with the ravenous toolbox nipping at his heels.

Splin leaped up, spun in the air, and flipped with startling acrobatics on top of the roof, all while he screamed, "Yaaaaagh!"

As its prey hollered out into the air, the toolbox answered back with a boisterous, "Arf!"

The chase continued for several minutes, with neither one of them showing signs of stopping. As the two of them ran marathons on top of the house, the Beakon in the corner began to shiver, except neither cared to stop and stare. After several laps, the box stopped in the middle of the roof and waited eagerly. Splin skidded to a halt but was ultimately chomped.

"Gah!" Splin bounded up into the sky.

He gawked down at his heel as he flew above the roof. His left calf stung as the Tele-Box nibbled on his leg. Still airborne, he reached for his leg and began to swat the box, only to yelp again when the box chewed back harder. The two of them began to fall and smacked the floor.

Hysterically, Splin started to tug on the box as it snacked on his leg, "Stop, stop, I'm not lunch! Tele-"

The floor trembled for a moment. At the very same moment, both Splin and the toolbox paused. Then the moment passed, and the toolbox bit back into Splin's thigh.

"Hiya Splin!"

Splin screamed again, except his face now flushed blue. Splin glared while his brother smiled back down on him without a care in the world. Another Inkling laid sprawled across the roof, with fogged Splash Goggles strapped over his face.

Dosio slid them off his face and rested his head on the floor. "That was… That was fun!"

Sharq laughed. "I told you! Super Jumping's the way to travel!"

"Hi, Sharq." Splin's gaze softened.

"Oh, right. Are you having trouble?" Sharq leaned in close to his brother. "Because you look like-"

"I'm fine," Splin asserted.

The toolbox chomped down again. A tear welled up in Splin's eye and a scream clogged his throat.

Splin, as he and his brother stared at one another, uttered a dignified whimper. "Tele, I will take you and throw you in the fireplace if you don't-"

"Tele?" Sharq tilted his head. "What are you talking about?"

"Um," Dosio piped up, "So…"

Splin huffed as he jabbed the box with his elbow. "Sharq, how many inanimate objects do we have are known for being able to do almost anything to inflict pain, and is known for being able to do- or be anything- Do we have in this house?"

"Two maybe," Sharq answered back.

Splin narrowed his eyes at his brother. "...What?"

Sharq rested his cheek on his knuckle. "Well, I don't know if Ann-Gel can shapeshift, but-"

"Sharq! Tele-Cube is literally eating me alive right nOw!" Splin jolted as if electrocuted, then bashed the box. "Stoooooop!"

"Oh!" Sharq perked up. "Sorry!"

Sharq kneeled down and began to pet the toolbox soothingly. His brother's mouth gaped open, yet not a sound was uttered.

Splin's elbow then nearly opened another hole in the roof. "Sharq, what the-"

As he rubbed the box, it sighed contently and promptly released Splin's leg and fell on the ground. The box shuddered as snores emerged from the box. Splin's eyes were wide, whereas Sharq simply dusted his hands off and stood proudly over the object.

"You okay?" Sharq offered a hand down to his brother.

Splin stared down at his hands. He sighed and took Sharq's hand with his own, but winced at the touch.

"I'm buying gloves," Splin stated deadpan, "And a pair of iron boots."

"Hey!"

The two brothers turned to the side. Wedged in between the roof's railings laid Dosio, whose head had managed to stick out the other side between the poles.

"So yeah, cool house and all Sharq, I especially liked the way we jumped through the heavens to get here." Dosio shook the bars. "Not a fan of these."

Splin frowned and turned back around. "Sharq?"

"Whoops! I forgot to introduce you two." Sharq smiled and walked across the roof. "Splin, meet Dosio. Dosio, Splin."

"...Hi." Splin waved unsurely down at the Inkling.

"Pleased to—" He craned his neck. "Hang on."

Dosio pulled on the railing again. The roof's bars rattled ever so slightly as he struggled to escape. He hummed, then switched into a squid, and wriggled.

"What the shell are these things made of?" The squid rustled restlessly.

"Um, hold on," Sharq piped up as he ran to the edge of the roof and switched into squid form, "So Splin, I wanna ask you something."

Splin reached down and picked up the toolbox while it snored. "Yeah?"

Sharq shifted into a squid and began to tug on his friend's tentacle. Each time he yanked Dosio's tentacle, the railing twitched.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Sharq leaned back.

Splin frowned. "Huh?"

Dosio yelped, "Ow, ow!"

"Sorry," Sharq apologized then turned back to Splin, "You know, the pink girl." Sharq flicked his tentacle as if to snap his fingers, which somehow clicked as if he had. "Lolly? Leslie?"

"...Lalai?" Splin frowned.

"That's it! That's her!" Sharq snapped his tentacle again.

Splin narrowed his eyes and cleared his throat. "Acquaintance"

"Yeah, yeah, you two are friends, you know where she is? We kinda need her help," Sharq asked while he pulled.

"Not exactly. How should I know?" Splin scowled.

"What?!" Dosio whipped his head around.

As he turned, a portion of the railing split off and fell apart. Sharq and Dosio rocketed across the roof. They slammed into the other side and succeeded in evening out the railing, with two long segments of the railing now effectively removed. Now thoroughly dazed, the two of them shook their heads and glanced back up at Splin.

Splin, for lack of a better word, was empty as he stared at the scene. "Okay."

"What- What do you mean you don't know?!" Dosio clamped his hands to his head frustratedly

"...I only talked to her… Four times." Splin's shoulders slumped.

Dosio had ice in his eyes as he turned to Sharq. Sweat began to drip down his forehead and a sheepish smile grew upon his face.

"Well I mean," Sharq chuckled nervously, "From what I've heard from her sister, I assumed-"

Sharq wheezed as Dosio gripped the collar of his shirt and began to rock him back and forth at a breakneck pace. As his brother was shaken to and fro, Splin stood rigid as if he were a statue with the toolbox snoozing by his side.

"I jumped a mile and a half! A mile and a half! Just to get stuck in a Cod forsaken-" Dosio slowed down for a second.

"Railing," Sharq slurred as his eyes lolled about in his head.

"Whatever!" Dosio dropped him on the floor. "I can't believe this."

As Sharq's eyes righted themselves, he shook his head and raised his hand. "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute!"

Sharq scurried after his acquaintance as he stormed off towards the other side of the roof. Slowly, Splin walked across the roof and reached for the shattered railing. His fingers brushed past the splintered ends and recoiled at the sharp fragments.

If it's any consolation, it was bound to happen eventually.

"Uh huh, Splin muttered.

Splin gawked at the other side of the roof and watched the other two Inklings as they stood up slowly. With his shoe, Dosio pushed a few pieces of the railing away and hung his head at the corner of the roof. While he sulked in the corner, Sharq walked up to him with his hands wrapped behind his back.

"Hey," Sharq murmured, "I'm sorry about this."

Dosio huffed and shook his head. "No need to be sorry, it's just like I thought. We aren't going to change anything, are we?"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Sharq crossed his arms. "I made one mistake so far. The plan is still intact and we're still standing."

Dosio sighed and turned around. "Can I ask you a question? A serious question?"

Sharq's face lit up. "Sure!"

"Not you." Dosio pointed away from Sharq. "Him."

Sharq's face practically spelled confusion. He and Dosio spun around to see Splin sitting just beside the trap-door of the roof. Headphones strewed across his lap as he sat, Splin stared back with mixed indignance and curiosity.

"Hmm?" Splin hummed tiredly.

"Yeah, you." Dosio stuffed his hand down into his pocket. "It has to do with him."

With his right hand, he pointed his thumb towards Sharq. Splin glanced towards his brother, who waved back jollily with a broad smile stretched across his face.

Splin arched an eyebrow. "What about him?"

Dosio crossed his arms. "Is he reliable?"

"What?!" Sharq's eyes widened. "Yes I-"

"Shush, you," Dosio hissed with disapproval, "You've done enough for now!"

Sharq's shoulders slumped. "Okay…"

Dosio angrily swiveled to Splin. "You're his brother, right? Is he reliable?"

Splin blinked slowly and turned towards his brother. Sharq looked up towards him with large, sad eyes and his arms wrapped behind his back. Splin frowned at him and Sharq's head drooped under his gaze.

"So that's a 'no', then. Alright." Dosio switched into a squid.

"Yeah."

With his head pointed upwards to the sky, Dosio tightened his tentacles and prepared to launch. A few seconds later, he jumped five feet into the air, then instantly switched back into an Inkling and fell back onto the roof. Dosio stood up straight and glared at Splin as he continued to sit on the other side of the roof.

"...Really?" Dosio tilted his head and reluctantly glanced at Sharq who waved back and smiled. "You're serious?"

"Look, I know my brother may look…" Splin bit his lip and glanced to the side. "Like my brother, but-"

"Come on!" Sharq's cap nearly fell off his head.

"But," Splin shouted back and Sharq quieted immediately, "He is reliable."

"Give an example," Dosio demanded.

Splin blinked in surprise. "Wow. You really don't trust him."

Sharq's upright posture deflated. "Oh…"

"No, hold on." Dosio shook his head at Sharq. "I just want to know."

"Alright, Dosio, right?" Splin arched an eyebrow to which Dosio nodded back at him. "Let me make this clear right here and right now: I trust Sharq with my life."

Dosio stared long and hard at him. A grin curled up on Dosio's face as he stared. However, after a full five seconds passed, Dosio's smile disappeared.

"Wait, really?" Dosio's shoulders drooped.

"Hey." Splin glared at him. "I'm dead serious. In fact, I'd be dead right now if he hadn't saved my skin before."

Dosio stood silently with a blank face as Splin's glare remained cold as ice. Sharq watched their stand-off from the sidelines with a peculiar look on his face and slowly shuffled towards his acquaintance.

"Soo…" Sharq smiled hopefully.

Dosio frowned at him, only to sigh in defeat moments later. "Okay, we're really doing this."

"Yeah, you JUST said that like a few minutes ago!" Sharq's lips curled into a pout. "Judd and Splin have just told you I'm trustable. You have double the proof now!"

"I do, don't I?" Dosio shut his eyes and rubbed underneath their bottom lids. "Okay, fine. Right now, officially, I'm going with you."

"Hooray!" Sharq hopped up into the air and hovered above the roof with an ecstatic expression.

The two other Inklings stared at the Inkling flying saucer floating above the roof. Splin's arm vibrated slightly as the Tele-Toolbox snored and rattled in its slumber.

"Follow up question," Dosio pointed upwards, "Does he do that often?"

"Eh." Splin shrugged and waved at the others. "Well, have fun doing… Whatever."

"Wait." Sharq dropped from the air and landed on the roof with a thud. "You aren't coming with us?"

"For what?" Splin asked as he crouched and lifted the trapdoor.

Sharq grinned and spun with a flair. "We're going to save Inkopolis!"

Splin yawned. "From what?"

"A flood of jellyfish!" Sharq announced as he thrusted his hands up into the air.

Splin smirked. "Really? Huh."

"We could use all the help we could get." Sharq beamed as he offered his hand to his brother.

"Hah!" Splin smiled back and descended down the stairs. "Screw that."

"...Wait, huh?" Sharq's hand fell and dangled above the ground weakly. "B-But-"

"Sharq, I trust you." Splin's smile faded. "But I think I'd like a full day off from our crazy life."

Sharq blinked back at him. "Oh. Um… Okay."

"...But maybe I'll tag along for the next adventure." A small smile returned to Splin as he reached down and pulled the headphones up and onto his ears. "Good luck." He turned to the side and nodded at Dosio as well.

"Wait!" Sharq protested.

Splin stopped and glanced to the side. "What is it? Ooh, might wanna make it quick, Tele's waking up again."

Sure enough, the toolbox Splin carried began to gnaw slowly on his arm. Splin simply continued to stare at Sharq curiously.

"You don't know where Lalai is?" Sharq asked with a frown.

"Why not ask her sister?" Splin arched an eyebrow.

Sharq's eyes lit up. "Her sister?"

"Y'know, she runs Oahu." Splin spoke up.

"...Pela's Lalai's sister?" Sharq blinked in confusion.

A tinge of annoyance struck Splin's face as he threw his arms up into the air. "I forgot to tell you."

"Maybe if we'd hang out more with our friends I'd know," Sharq hummed matter-of-factly.

"Maybe if we'd been given more opportunities to do so I would have," Splin stated back.

Both of the brothers stared at one another then eventually turned their attentions skyward. Although personally, I don't understand why they're pinning this on me. I blame the education system.

Dosio scrunched his face and glanced upwards. "...There a bird or something up there?"

"Alrighty!" Sharq grinned. "Well, thanks! See ya later Splin!"

"Uh…" Dosio waved once as Splin stared back at the two with what Dosio could only gauge as mixed amusement and irritation. "Nice meeting you."

Splin waved back at the two and ducked into the house. The trap-door creaked as Splin shut it closed behind him, leaving the other two the company of themselves and the summer day.

"...That was your brother." Dosio bit his lip at the sound of his own voice. "Uh, sorry, I meant to say THAT was your brother?"

"Yeah." Sharq smiled back.

"Should we tell him the city's flooded or something?" Dosio frowned.

Sharq pursed his lips and glanced skywards. "I think he's already got enough things to worry about."

"Hmm." Dosio leaned in and examined Sharq's face. "He looks like you."

"Really?" Sharq planted his hands on his hips.

Dosio sighed and shook his head. "I mean, just less… Weird."

"You just haven't gotten to know him yet." Sharq waved him off. "We're both pretty weird."

"Yeah, well," Dosio nodded back, "I've noticed."

Sharq shook his head and switched into his squid form close beside Dosio. "Follow me!"

"Great," Dosio remarked dryly as he shrunk down into a squid.

The two pointed skywards and began to vibrate in place. Inside of the house, Splin sat underneath the hole in the ceiling and gazed upwards. Like a pair of rockets, Sharq and Dosio launched into the air, turning into tiny specks in the sky as Splin watched them leap away with a blast of ink.

"You sure you don't wanna go?"

Splin glanced down at Ann-Gel as she sat cross-legged by his side. She gazed up out of the hole in the roof and watched the dots in the distance eventually vanish into the clouds and rested her hands underneath her head as they disappeared.

"Well…" Splin hummed as he folded his arms. "I could have… But I don't really feel like it."

"I know, but it's just-" Ann-Gel bit her lip and hummed.

"It'll be fine. Sharq's got this," Splin spoke up and smiled, "Have faith in him."

Ann-Gel stared up at him with bewildered eyes. "...Who the heck are you?"

Splin simply smiled again. "I must be tired."

Suddenly, he laughed, much to Ann-Gel's surprise. The laugh was brief and Splin yawned almost immediately afterwards.

"Mm," Splin sighed and placed his hands on his temples. "Yep. I think I should take a nap."

"Really?" Ann-Gel mused, tapping her lips. "It's only…"

She turned and glanced up at the dresser at the back of the house. Atop the dresser, the alarm clock stood and watched them. Ann-Gel shot a dirty look at the alarm clock, which suddenly blared and flashed the time with an annoying beep.

"Noon." Ann-Gel peered back up at Splin.

She blinked at the air. Ann-Gel heard a content grunt and wood creaking behind her suddenly. Behind her, she noticed Splin as he relaxed on top of his bedsheets and sighed again.

Ann-Gel turned towards the kitchen and began to hop. "This day is getting weird."

AN: I could probably extend this arc for longer, but I already have Chi's arc, Xarius', Phish's, and… Well, everyone else's stories on the hold. I haven't even gotten to Aussie's personal story yet. Oh well.

Thanks TAWOGfan2000 for reviewing. Honestly, when you say it like that it's a little weird, but I suppose it was obvious.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you.