Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others
Lil' Auss's Game
"Take that! Hah! And some of this! Yah!" The little warrior cried as she charged into the fray.
The enemy was ferocious, yet silent and still as a wallflower. They stood tall, ferocious, and geared with weapons that could easily do her in with but a few lucky shots. Regardless of the one to one-hundred odds, she leaped in bravely towards her foe, who was armed to the teeth.
That being said, the foe she faced hardly had any arms to speak of. The "foe" was but a sad sack filled with stuffed grass strapped to a wooden post. A face complete with two angry eyebrows was drawn on the sack, and it was clear by its painted scowl it was meant to be intimidating to the little warrior.
At least, the little octopus armed with a slingshot certainly thought so. Biting her lip, she reached down for her weapon and squeezed it tightly. She paused, pulled back the pocket of the slingshot, and cocked her eye at her foe. Her foe continued to glare back at her.
"Die!" The octopus screamed and released the pocket, lobbing a ball of ink.
Off it went into the air, hurtling toward the foe. She watched and waited, biting her lip with a barely grown fang as she hoped for it to hit its mark.
The violet blot of ink launched through the air at a snail's pace. For the reader's sake, let's say it took about one whole minute to fly through the air, all while the tiny octopus gazed at the blot anticipatingly. After five million eons the globe finally splattered on the cheek of the mannequin and left a violet splotch.
"Bullseye!" The octopus cheered with small hops up in the air. "...Least, the closest to one yet!"
She gazed past the mannequin. A couple dozen-hundred lazily scattered dots of fuchsia to violet were left on the trunks of trees and utility poles in the background. As a matter of fact, the entire landscape behind the target was splashed with circles of color. The octopus shook her head and smiled. One dead Inkling was better than none, right?
The rest of the landscape had seemed to have been spared from any further paint degradation, but it was still far from well-kept. The octopus' stout island hovered almost mystically above a vast void surrounded by several rocks. From above, a ginormous light bulb beamed down and shined upon the rocky landscape. The sky buzzed and reeked of artificiality, as several jumbo flat screens arranged in a dome downwards displayed the illusion of clouds passing across a blue sky. One of the screens buzzed and flashed to a cloud, this one showing off to the other clouds by appearing upside-down.
The island lacked much flora and fauna. Aside from several training dummies and a few racks of Octarian weaponry, the only things around to accompany the little octopus were weeds, pebbles, and dirt.
Regardless of the state of the artificial weather today or the lack of anything else, that did nothing to deter the small octopus who stood as proudly as she could on two stubby legs. Her blobby form was melty and unfinished, yet developed enough to contain two juvenile scarlet irises beaming with energy.
"HOOOCK!" With the mightiest of efforts, she spit up another glob of ink and aimed the gross pellet it in her slingshot again.
"Keep an eye on your left." A voice called out from behind her.
All of a sudden, the little octopus spun around, her slingshot ready to take down the intruder. "Who's there?"
Sinister laughter filled the air. "Don't recognize me? It's been a while, you disgusting Octoling spawn."
The small octopus gasped in fright, but the huge smile she wore betrayed any sense of dramatics. "I thought I eliminated you the first time!"
The small octopus whirled around and shot pellets upon pellets of ink from her slingshot. Her mouth was getting dry, but that wasn't stopping her. Her assailant ducked and dived under each of the shots. She thought she could catch a glimpse of him smirking.
A long tentacle whipped around and whipped at Aussie's slingshot. Clutching her weapon, she loosed one close-range bullet of ink and nailed her enemy in the head.
He fell on his back and let his tentacle fall slack. "Nngh! I've but moments to live…"
Aussie smirked and hopped towards her fallen opponent. Hopping upon his chest, she asked, "Any last words?"
The Octosniper feigned a cough. "Yes. You left your sides open!"
The little octopus gasped in mock surprise as the tentacle on the Octosniper's head snaked over across her belly and began to tickle her mercilessly. The action proved too much for her, and the small octopus fell on the floor, giggling hysterically. The Octosniper laughed heartily, picking up the little one in his tentacle and holding her high up above his head.
"I've won, 4U55-13. Any last words?" The Octosniper inquired.
"Dad! That's my line!" 4U55-13 protested through giggles much to his amusement.
"Oh, is that right?" The Octosniper cocked his eye at her curiously, eyeing her from head to tentacle. "Is it Aussie, my little Aussie?"
Aussie screamed a laugh as her father tickled her again. In one of the lapses between tickling and laughter, Aussie loosed another small ink blob from her slingshot and got him again.
"Oh, hey!" The Octosniper shouted, wiping his face with his tentacle, "That's a dirty trick, Aussie-wossie."
"I learned it from you, Talt-walt!" Aussie stated, smirking devilishly.
"That's 'dad' to you, cadet," Talt added sternly but with a smile, picking her up in his large tentacle.
"Didya tag any Inklings today?" Aussie asked, squirming slightly in his grip.
Talt smirked proudly, "I may have."
"How many didja get?"
"One."
Aussie stopped squirming and gave him a look, eyebrow cocked and a coy smile that told him she did not believe him in the slightest.
"Hey, I got 'em," Talt affirmed, feigning a pout. "Burst like a balloon."
"Pow!" Aussie mimicked, forming a crude finger gun with her barely developed fuchsia fingers. "'Darn, I missed and now I gotta get home early. What will Aussie think?'"
"Oh, shush!" Talt pet Aussie's head.
He made a small snort, his tentacle playfully curling and unraveling around Aussie over and over again, dropping and pulling the girl as if she was attached to a bungee cord. Talt hobbled away from the makeshift firing range quickly on his short legs but stopped when he felt tapping on his scalp. Aussie pointed to the ground, prompting him to lower her daughter down to the dirt. Aussie reached for her slingshot lying on the ground and snatched it up just in time for her to get slung back atop her father's head.
Grinning like a loon, Talt began to run, much to Aussie's excitement. The pair made their way across the floating concrete island to a small shack on the other side, a building arranged with sheet metal covering the shack like a poor man's coat.
A very poorly constructed mailbox stood on the grassless lawn with The Melby's written on the sides in black chalk, sitting empty of any mail. A small, + Aussie was painted underneath in crude, fuchsia handwriting. In spite of its appearance, the shack itself was tall. The roof had a humongous umbrella covering it, acting like a makeshift roof, slightly tilted to the side to let the artificial light sneak in.
"Kwol!" Talt called, tentacle curling on his head, "I've got a gift for you from the front!"
Talt's tentacle curled around Aussie in a spiral shape. Giddy with excitement, Aussie pointed herself at the top of the shack, cheering him on. The umbrella suddenly retracted, canopy shifting into a convenient package around a large steel pole.
Sitting on top of the shack in a beach chair was a pale Octoling woman, safety glasses around her face worn like sunglasses. Carefully taking the glasses off, she stood up and bent down over the metal railing of the roof. She had a bright smile and a simple beachy attire, being a white sundress.
"Then don't keep me in suspense! Hand it up here," Kwol requested politely.
"Ready?" Talt asked Aussie.
"Launch!" Aussie commanded.
Talt's tentacle unfurled, spinning Aussie in a whirlpool-like fashion. The spinning lasted for a few seconds, then ended as Talt pitched his daughter into the air. Aussie the fastball sped towards the top of the building, Kwol casually leaning over the side. Without moving from her spot, Kwol casually took a fishing rod, slung it over her shoulder, and swung it at her daughter-
"Aussie!"
"Wh? Huh? I'm here," Aussie spoke, failing to stifle a yawn.
"Geez, how long have you been up playing video games?"
Aussie looked around. She found herself sitting in the meeting room. The giant ceiling shard still embedded in the table had been decorated with, "See you l8r!" written with pink paint.
Instead of Octavio and a group of reserved veterans, the seats were filled with several people Aussie recognized. Tai, hairdo reverted to her original violet with tinges of dark spots at the edges looked the most unfit to be here, especially since she was sitting across from Aussie. There was where Octavio normally sits. Jerry, happy that his propeller cap was restored, hovered above a tired Chi, who currently had her head nestled in her arms.
Aussie noticed that practically all the Octarians looked tired. She emphasized; Aussie was exhausted too.
"Dunno, it's been how many years now?" Aussie replied absentmindedly.
"I meant last night, Auss," Tai said, "Your eyes are all red, bloodshot, and you're slouching. And there's only one thing that does THAT to you-."
Lee, sitting up a few spaces away from Aussie, spoke up. "Aren't they always red Tai?"
Sitting in another chair right by Lee, Ova was in the middle of rolling her eyes when she stopped and stared at Aussie. Aussie's eyes, true to Lee's observation, were plenty red, but Ova found herself mystified by the fact that her ex-commander was sitting like Tai would, complete with her goggles strapped around her neck.
Tai gave her a glare, prompting Lee to start whispering to Ova. Ova reacted by slamming her head on the table and waving her off, much to Lee's annoyance.
"Point is," Tai interrupted, "Auss, you need to stay awake here, we're talkin' about important junk."
"I'm still technically fired. Whaddya want me to do?" Aussie asked, hand on her cheek.
Tai scowled. "Sure, says the girl who declared war on Octavio. What happened to 'co-commander'?"
"That's the beauty of it. You get to deal with 'my' consequences for 'my' stupid actions now. What, are you going to fire me again and tell all those rebels that are here to screw off?" Aussie asked, sneering.
"Cod, it's like the two switched bodies," Chi commented, side-eying the two of them incredulously.
Everyone but Tai and Aussie nodded in agreement, much to Tai's annoyance and Aussie's delight.
Aussie yawned loudly. "Oh hey, another nap's coming on. You guys talk about how you're going to get back to Octavio while I enjoy this."
Tai glared at Aussie as she drifted back to slumber. She really wanted to tell Aussie off using all those curse words she learned from those foreign Octarians, but that would only make her more Aussiefied. That, and she got the feeling from the slack posture and droopy eyelids of every other Octarian in the room that everyone else would follow Aussie's lead pretty soon, voluntarily or not.
So, Tai decided to do what commanders do best. She stood up, took a deep breath, and thrust her hands on the table, getting the attention of everyone still awake, and asked in the loudest, most stirring voice she could:
"Well, since we're all tired and we've got nothing else to do but hate Octavo, I guess we should get started right away, eh?"
"Inklings? So close?"
Aussie sat on her mother's lap, half-asleep. The little Octoling was purring like a cat, taking in the lightbulb rays while Kwol stroked behind the tentacles on her head. This was all the reward she needed: lounging after a hard day's work of training. Talt stood by their side, almost standing taller than the umbrella Kwol lounged under.
Of course, Aussie had perked up at the mention of Inklings, turning to her father with a bemused expression. "Mmm?"
Talt glanced down at his daughter, giving her a weary smile. "Scouts have been reporting sightings of Inklings around some of the kettles. Most have been unconfirmed, but all the same, everyone's talking about it and going ham."
Kwol arched an eyebrow. "That why you returned from your post so early?"
Talt shook his head. "Short break actually, I have to return in a couple minutes."
Aussie frowned and got to her feet. "But you just got home!"
Talt's smile softened. "Sorry cadet. Security reasons."
Kwol sighed, patting her daughter on the head. She took Aussie, placed her on the beach chair and headed toward the edge of the roof. Kwol vaulted over the side gracefully, her sundress discarded as she fell, revealing her natural…
Delicate and smooth…
Octoling Armor, shorts, and boots, all polished to an astoundingly prestigious degree. Aussie marveled at them.
Talt sighed almost on cue as Kwol turned around and shouted, "If you're fighting the Inklings, I'm not gonna miss that!"
Talt bent down and whispered, "That's why your mother and I are together Aussie."
Aussie's face soured. "...Hey, I've been meaning to ask, but I'm not an Octosniper like you. How does that work?"
Talt frowned, looking up at the sky screens for a moment as if his answer was somewhere on TV. "Little miss, I'm afraid you're too young to have the privilege of knowing that classified information."
Aussie stuck her tongue out at him. Talt laughed nervously, giving her a pat as he stretching his long tentacle over to the edge of the roof. He started to climb over the side and was about to hop off when suddenly he heard his daughter.
"I guess I'll just wait here. Again." Aussie blew a raspberry, visibly deflating in the chair.
Talt frowned, looking over the side of the building. He turned to Kwol, giving her a short wave with one of his stubby legs, then climbed back on top and made his way back over to the chair.
"Hey, Aussie…"
"You're taking me with you! I knew it!" Aussie perked up, her tiny blobby baby Octoling features shining bright.
"Well, no-"
Talt swore he could hear air hissing as Aussie deflated again. Maybe he was the one who didn't understand how Octarian biology worked. Or maybe Aussie was just like that.
"But I brought you something that I found while out, maybe it'll keep you busy," Talt suggested, curling his tentacle behind his back to grab it.
Aussie rolled her eyes. "Unless it's a draft for the army, nothing's gonna- WHOA."
Talt's tentacle unraveled in front of him to reveal a...thing!
...And what a thing it was. There were two black shiny screens attached to each other encased in a rectangle shell, and there were dots speckled on the top one by the sides, sort of like what Aussie learned intercoms looked like. There was a set of four buttons arranged in a symmetrical cross-formation on the bottom-right side of the device and an actual cross button sticking on the opposite side. Aussie leaned in to marvel at the peculiar device, utterly transfixed.
"What IS that?" Aussie walked around the device in a circle, taking in its shape. Not one, but two rectangles, with more buttons on top of the bottom rectangle. The thing was shaped like an open book.
Not unlike a book, Talt closed it and set it on the floor. Aussie hopped over to it like a seabird finding someone's snack.
Talt smiled. "I don't know, but I found it on the way over here. I figured that if it helped tide you over while we were gone-"
Aussie snatched the device away, furiously tapping away at anything she could get her pudgy tentacles at. She kept fidgeting with the device, trying to find a way to power it on. Aussie spun it around, tapped, clicked, bopped, pulled, and twisted anything she could get her stubby paws on.
Talt smiled warmly down at her. "You going to be okay here alone?"
Aussie then stopped her frantic inspection and looked up from the device. She pouted and muttered, "Mmyeah, I guess…"
Talt laughed, gripping the roof. "We'll be back soon, Aussie."
Talt vaulted over the side of the house and landed on the dirt below with a distinct "bump". Aussie crawled after him, rectangle device in hand. She saw her parents off quietly as they went, Kwol giving her a smile while Talt waved as he walked. Soon, Aussie watched as they reached the end of the island, crossing a small bridge made of stainless steel and disappearing down a grated kettle structure.
Aussie listened as they left. Steam hissed, then everything was silent. "'Back soon', you're always 'back soon'. Then hours go by."
She began to sulk again, then remembered the strange device in her hand. Curiously, Aussie inspected the buttons again. Turning the thing over, she noticed a button she hadn't pressed yet. Aussie pushed it.
Then, a blue light flashed on.
"FORMER COMMANDER AND STRIKE WORKER CO-COMMANDER AUSSIE, AWAKEN."
"Gwaaaah!" Aussie yelled, almost falling back in her mother's chair.
At least she thought she was in her mother's chair. Before long, Aussie figured out there was no chair behind her. Or roof. Or ground. Aussie's mind began to put the pieces together: the night sky and the moon were staring down at her, wind was rushing past her ears, she was falling longer than what was acceptable, and-
SHE WAS GOING TO DIE.
"Whoa!"
Someone called out. Before Aussie could drop to the bottom of Octo Valley like a rock, a hand shot out and grabbed her arm.
Aussie looked up, her face already souring. "Great. What have you done, Tai?"
Pulling her up onto the Skell's right shoulder, Tai grinned. "We're taking the fight to Octavio. Ain't that the plan, co-commander."
Aussie nearly fell off again. "Already! We're doing- Already? Hold on-"
"Ah!" Tai shoved a finger up to Aussie's lips. "YOU hold on. You wanted to fall asleep at the meeting, so I get to lead everybody. Only seems fair."
Aussie couldn't help but agree. At least in her head. "How long was I out?"
"Fifteen minutes."
Aussie sighed. "Oh, good, there's still time to change the plans."
"Oh, no, we've all started already. In fact, we're making good time."
Aussie pushed past Tai and scrambled to the edge of the Skell's shoulder. Behind the Skell was the Valley's giant chasm while in front of them was-
"EVERYONE'S here! How did you get everyone here already?" Aussie exclaimed.
Oh my- Sometimes it feels like this story doesn't even need me as a narrator.
But yeah, assembled on the valley's rocky cliffs were the Octarians, both Octavio and rebels alike. Many metal chassis filled with supplies were being hoisted up by Octoballs and rolled around like makeshift wagons. Octolings helped pull the other Octarians up when it was difficult to climb on their own. Aussie noticed Lee and Ova among some of the Octolings leading the charge, helping Octarians that lacked legs up the craggy footholds.
"Go go! Don't feel flushed! Make like a Bomb Rush and push!" Farther up on flatter ground, Callie was cheering on the Octarians from one of the makeshift wagons, dancing back and forth.
"Why does she get to sing and dance while we're stuck with this?" A rebel Octoling complained for everybody to hear when hoisting up an Octotrooper.
One of the Octolings from Aussie's troop nudged her. Removing her Octogoggles, it turned out to be Chi, who was talking to the rebel Octoling in a voice that was hard to hear from where Aussie was sitting. She turned, stared at Callie as she danced for a while, and huffed.
"Fine, I'll admit that she's charismatic, but…"
The rest of the conversation quieted down. Aussie looked back at Tai. "You mean to tell me that in the fifteen minutes I've been asleep you've rallied everybody, got them all there, and been heading toward Octo Canyon? FIFTEEN minutes?"
"We're all tired, but we've still got some energy left," Tai explained, giving Aussie a toothy grin.
"In FIFTEEN minutes?" Aussie repeated.
Tai shrugged, to which Aussie just scowled at. "Did you at least leave people to defend in case we got attacked by someone else?"
"Yeah! We left behind some good men to take care of the base while we were gone!"
Jerry looked down at the list left for him on the table. Several items were scrawled out on paper for him to do, foremost among them being "DEFEND BASE AT ALL COSTS" written in large Octarian letters at the top. Below them were several other commands, and first of all was simply "sweep around".
Jerry looked up from the list and stared at the broom and dustpan arranged by the wall nearby. He hovered over and attempted to pick it up with his ski-shaped feet. His feet knocked the broom and dustpan over, the sound of wood hitting metal floor echoing throughout the empty base.
Jerry nodded to himself, then stated simply, "This sucks."
Aussie turned away from Tai, laid down on the Skell's shoulder, and began to shut her eyes.
"Commander Aussie? :|" The Skell blared in confusion.
Aussie huffed. "Wake me up when all of this is real."
With that, Aussie's light snoring began again, much to Tai and the Skell's surprise.
"Welp, guess I'm still leading. Clariss?" Tai shouted.
"YEEEEES?" Clariss screamed from the other shoulder, peeking around the Skell's head.
"How long do you think this'll take? I got a hot date tomorrow with a doofus, and I don't wanna be late!" Tai shouted back.
"By the pace we're going?" Clariss looked down at a screen in her hands. "Honestly, we're pretty much almost there it's only an hour away."
"Huh!" Tai yelled, "We ARE making good progress!"
Clariss rubbed the back of her head. "I thought so too, but I wouldn't give us all the credit. Turns out that the new base was basically built a bus ride away."
"...A bus ride away?"
"Yep."
"They built a new stronghold...abandoned the Octo Valley HQ...for one just a bus ride away?"
"That's what the limited info I have says, yes."
Tai and Clariss sat on the Skell in silence for a while, mulling it over.
"Why?"
Clariss sighed and shrugged. "Because he's the boss Tai, that's why. Why does he put Octotroopers in front of a cannon leading up to the Baby Zapfish that one time? Why did he and the rest of us get beaten by one Inkling? He's the boss, the DJ, the strategist, that's why everything."
"Well in less than an hour, he's about to be beaten into the ground for leaving us to make our own decisions! Let's go!" Tai shouted for everybody to hear.
All the Octarians cheered. Callie ramped up her dancing and rallying while everyone made haste to climb the Valley's passes as efficiently as they could. The Skell dashed through the sky, Clariss and Tai holding on while Aussie drifted back into sleep.
Aussie was enthralled. Such beauty was unfathomable. Whatever this device was, it was capable of so much more than what Aussie thought capable. Aussie needed only press a button, and her enemies would be executed.
"GAME!"
Aussie grinned as she watched the Inkling on-screen wail in agony as they were launched by her Inkling's own sword. Oh, how great it was! To see Inklings war against one another and launch them to their deaths, only for them to be reincarnated to clap for her victory against them.
She was convinced. This system was a gift from Cod.
For what felt like the rest of the day, Aussie played with the thing. There were a lot of other simulations available on the device. There was one where Aussie started training creatures to humiliate other Inklings in battle("Inklings can become allies with practically any beast?"), one where she recruited an army of Inklings to fight other armies of Inklings,("Apparently Inklings who marry each other fight better?") and one where Inklings went back in time to stop the moon from crashing into the world and killing everyone("This one's probably propaganda. Inklings wouldn't save the world.")
Realistically, Aussie should've felt terrified. All these were dark secrets that were just dropped in her tiny almost-hands. Did Talt know about these? Was this meant to teach Aussie the true meaning of fear and war? Or did he not know the depth of the Inklings' rich and deadly history that not even her Octarian-mandatory literature dropped off in the mail taught her?
Aussie considered all that and more for a moment, but then immediately went back to playing "Monster Splatter", awestruck by the oversized Roller weapons the characters used to crush leviathans' jaws with a mere swing.
Aussie frowned, suddenly closing the device like a book by pressing its rectangle screens together. The discovery of Inkling culture was enthralling, but Aussie knew that just sitting there and destroying simulation Inklings wouldn't be enough. She descended the stairs of her home, hopping down one step at a time, then exited out on the bottom floor out to the makeshift training grounds in front of the house.
She opened up the system and tapped a few buttons, examining the Inkling's fantastic movements and spins as they leapt from the ground to slam their weapon down. "Amazing…"
Aussie set the system down in the dirt, then turned to face the target. The sack of grass glowered at her from across the way, just begging to be pounded into the dirt. Running back into the shack, up the stairs, and onto the roof, she picked up her slingshot and sped back down. She then leaped into the air, doing twirls and grunting like she saw the Inklings did.
"If I learn the enemies' moves, I'll know how to fight them!" Aussie thought, leaping off the ground and performing a 360° vertical spin.
After some trial and error, Aussie figured out that Inklings must have some sort of special balance-correction organ in their bodies because the only landings she was sticking were on her face. Still, Aussie wasn't giving up. Every failed attempt would get her closer to taking down an Inkling.
The pattern went as follows: jump, spin, faceplant, consult the device.
After much more trial and error, Aussie decided now was a good time for a break. She wasn't quitting, but she imagined that she'd have a better chance at sticking the landing once the world stopped going in circles.
The tiny octopus kept at her research as she recovered, finding a new simulation featuring an extremely happy Inkling hopping around, whooping as he did.
Aussie scowled. "Inklings enjoy things way too much."
Strangely, Aussie noticed that every simulation she ran, there was hardly any Octarian showing up in them. She'd expect some kind of horribly inaccurate Octotrooper soldier running toward her, probably demonized beyond recognition, but for whatever reason, the simulators were all Octarian-free. There were jellyfish to squish, crustaceans throwing hammers, but not a single octopus.
"Maybe they're scared of us," Aussie thought, "They must hate Octarians so much that they don't include any in their history."
Aussie pondered Inkling society while she instructed her Inkling character to jump over a lake of lava and into a volcano. If nothing else, at least she was learning; Inklings could get in practically anywhere.
"Uh, hey, could I have my 3DS back?"
Even her home kettle.
AN: It's been a minute, huh.
A long minute, WAAAAY too long. Let's be real, everyone who read this story's moved on to bigger and better things by now. It's 2020, things have changed. EVERYONE should've moved on, right?
Well, I haven't. Unfortunately.
I want to do a couple of other things for this story. A couple of small stories to tell before I "end it". Because I'm gonna be honest, Splatoon's lost its luster for me, but that's a rant for another chapter.
Point is, I'm going to be updating this story a little more, and then after that? Who knows? This entire story started without a big plan and it's probably going to end with only a few bare outlines. Wouldn't be the Bate Brothers without barely any structure at all, right?
Thanks to Guest and write n wrong for reviewing.
You stay safe too, write n wrong. Gotta applaud you still being around in the Splatoon archives reviewing stories after so long.
What indeed, Guest? What indeed.
Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle. Play No More Heroes and other Kill the Past games if you can, they're great.