Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others

Ask Questions, Get Bagged

Aussie hit the dirt. Rolling into a ball, she spun away and sped around her training area, smashing her head into her straw dummy. Slingshot in hand, she scurried up into the fake Inkling and hid among its rags.

Aussie's chest was beating like a drum. How in the name of Octavio did he find her? Did the device have a tracking device installed she wasn't aware of?

"Sheesh…" She could hear the Inkling mutter.

Aussie peered through the Inkling target's head. There, standing above the device was an honest-to-Cod Inkling soldier. Shorter than her father, but still towering above her. Dressed strangely, with weird black shoes and tinted sunglasses adorning his feet and head. Even had a shirt and tie on of all things, why a shirt and tie? All this had Aussie's mind racing.

Was this an Inkling agent, well-dressed like some sort of dapper spy with hidden weapons? Has Octo Valley been compromised and this cruel Inkling businessman come to bulldoze her home and build a row of commercial buildings on top of it? Or perhaps Inklings wore whatever trashy attire they found lying around into battle? Horrifying.

Aussie's mind and instincts were at war with themselves; should she stay hidden or should she run? Maybe she should fight the Inkling? Could she fight the Inkling?

"Well…" The Inkling looked around, giving the target Aussie was taking shelter in a dangerously, "almost certain he knew he was in there" scrupulous look. "I'll just be...taking my 3DS back now."

Aussie panicked as she watched him bend down to pick up the device. Slinging a backpack over his shoulder, he opened up the pocket and tossed the "3DS" in. As he began to pull the zipper up, Aussie had a split-second epiphany.

"If that device leaves, then so does all that knowledge of Inkling kind…!"

The Inkling checked his surroundings again before turning around to leave. Aussie bit her lip. If he was just leaving, maybe he was just scouting her house and ready to report back to his headquarters.

...Which would still be bad, since now they'd probably call down ink missiles on top of them, but at least he was leaving?

Aussie shook her head, glaring straight at the Inkling. This was no time to think things through. Her mind was made up. Smacking herself once in the face and breathing in and out rapidly, the psyched-up Aussie made a beeline down the Inkling target, dropping onto the ground, and dashed straight toward the Inkling. With his back turned, it was a cinch for Aussie to leap up into the air and aim her slingshot square in the back of the Inkling's head.

"Take this!" Aussie screamed in her head as she released the slingshot pouch.

The blot of ink started its flight, slowly making its way to the Inkling's head. Unfortunately for Aussie, her descent ended up being much faster than her slingshot's projectile and she landed through the small hole and ended up inside of the backpack's compartment.

"What the-" She could hear the Inkling say.

As Aussie rummaged through the bag, both trying to find the 3DS and reorient herself, she could feel the Inkling take the bag off his back and attempt to open it. She also heard the "splat" of her projectile as it lamely smacked against either the ground or a wall, but she'd chastise her aim later.

Aussie braced herself, holding her slingshot close and rubbing against the 3DS inside the bag. Her breathing slowed down; this was do or die. Mysteriously though, the Inkling didn't attack her. She heard running footsteps and was jostled within the bag as he began to run. Then Aussie heard a bang, like someone struck metal.

Through the opening in the backpack, Aussie watched in horror as the TV screens above her disappeared as the Inkling started running through the exit of her kettle. The screens were replaced with dark pipes, trees and architecture zipping by, and a big, blue sky. She heard voices unfamiliar to her, orders being barked, and the frantic, hushed breathing of the Inkling who had kidnapped her all mixing together into one huge, terrifying blur. Somewhere within the running, the Inkling remembered to close the zipper on his backpack, almost completely putting her in the dark.

Aussie was stunned, too stunned to recognize what was happening or where she was going. What was going to happen to her?

With nothing but sounds to clue her in now, Aussie could do nothing but listen. Chatter had died down, and now there was nothing much else to listen to except the Inkling's shoes beat against the ground(rocks maybe?) and his breathing as he ran. After a long while of sitting still in the backpack, suddenly small rays of light peeked through.

"Great. Now I can see in slightly-less-than-total darkness." Aussie thought to herself.

Aussie tuned in with her ears again, trying to figure out what was going on. She couldn't hear much now, but she could definitely hear water dripping. Strangely enough, she couldn't hear the Inkling anymore.

Vrrrrrrrr!

She realized as to why that was the case as the backpack zipper was pulled down. Cover blown with nowhere to go, she sat in the bag, wide-eyed and staring up at the Inkling. Aussie clutched her slingshot and the 3DS close as the Inkling glared straight down at her, scanning past him for an exit opportunity.

The two of them were in the backend of a mouth of a cave, sunlight trickling in from the outside. If it weren't for the circumstances, Aussie would have been enjoying taking in the warmth of a real sun's rays. Stalactites formed on the roof dripped periodically, Aussie noting them as what she must've heard earlier. The air within the cave was cold, making Aussie appreciate the sun all the more. It was serene.

That's what Aussie figured out anyway from a glance, but then there was the glaring issue in front of her. Even as she clutched her slingshot, she knew for a fact that spitting into it and launching the gunk at the Inkling was just asking for trouble. Running away was another option, and while Aussie figured that even if she might be able to outrun him, she still had no idea where she was.

That, and if the strange device were any indication, Inklings could practically walk way faster than she could.

Aussie came to a conclusion quickly, opting for the best approach possible: "Hi."

"Hi," The Inkling replied, his scowl not leaving his face, "What are you doing in my backpack?"

"I wanted to see what it looked like on the inside." Nice.

"Uh-huh. And my 3DS?"

Aussie glanced down at her other hand, holding the system close to her side. "I also wanted to see what it looked like."

"...Looked like you had it for a while. I heard it playing when I got close to the kettle."

How the heck? "Well, that's...none of your business."

"It kinda is. I dropped it. That's mine."

Aussie pouted at the man, and the man scowled down at her. The two stood in a silent standoff for a while.

"...So, are you going to kill me now?" Aussie asked, still clutching her slingshot.

"Wh- No?" The Inkling stated, clearly confused, much to Aussie's own confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You kidnapped me and took me out to a cave."

"YOU were the one who jumped in my backpack!"

"Sure," Aussie murmured, pacing around in the bag, "Ferrying me away to torture me for Octo-info?"

"I was running from Octarians trying to kill me!"

"Ha! But you coulda just dropped me out then and there, and they would've helped me out, but you didn't!"

The Inkling stared down at this tiny octopus. Her face was beaming proudly as though she had solved the case of the century.

"Is this kid for real?"

"Well, I can see that the wits of the Inklings are just as described!" Aussie proclaimed, placing a nub to where her chest might be in a few years, "You really have kidnapped me! And now I'm being brought to your Inkling superiors to...be destroyed or...tortured."

Aussie paused, mouth agape. She looked down at the floor. The Inkling couldn't see her face, but he got the feeling she completely soured her own mood.

"H-Hey…" Aussie started, fear practically dripping off of her voice. "You aren't going to slice me open or anything, right?"

"Oh my Cod…" The Inkling shook his head. "Fine, I'll bring you home."

"Huuuuuuuh?" Aussie screeched, mouth agape.

"I mean…" The Inkling started, hands over his ears, "Guess this is my fault in the first place? If I hadn't dropped my 3DS, you wouldn't have found it and you wouldn't have jumped into my pack…"

Aussie crawled out of the backpack giving the Inkling a wary stare. Still ever cautious, she sat on the stone floors of the cave, measuring her options. She glanced over at the cave mouth, then to the backpack, then back to the Inkling.

"I-"

"I heard something over here!"

"Crab," The Inkling slung his backpack back on his back and backed up.

Aussie jumped. "Wait!"

As the Inkling prepared to run, Aussie hopped back in his pack, much to both of their surprise. He turned his head and was about to say something to her until he noticed the light shining on the cave wall behind him. Grumbling something under his breath, he shrugged his shoulders and zipped up the backpack, running farther into the cave. In the pack, Aussie stared hard through the fabric, watching the beams of light coming from what she assumed were other Octarian troops.

"Hey! The Octarians are THAT way!" Aussie pointed out.

"No ship!" The Inkling barked, much to Aussie's annoyance, "I'll send you home after I lose these guys."

"That's not part of the deal!"

"Well, if YOU think that Inklings are so keen on torture, then I don't wanna learn what Octarians views on that subject are!"

Aussie felt the backpack be tossed to the side and hit the side of the cave. She began to curse in the few ways she knew how, only for the backpack to open and the Inkling's hands to cover her mouth. Squinting her eyes, she realized that the Inkling had taken refuge in a small crevice within the cave, the two of them wedged deep into the ground. Aussie glared at the Inkling, wondering whether she should just bite his hand and convince the Octarian troops to bring her home.

Then she saw the Octarians walk by. In this dim cave, it was difficult to make out, but one look and Aussie knew for sure.

"Those aren't Octarian soldiers."

A pack of disheveled Octolings with dirty metal armor shambled by, each of them holding a weapon and a flashlight. Most of them looked like they had been in a fight, dirt and healing scars covering their faces. She thought they looked hungry. Desperately hungry, and a little too menacing for her taste.

Aussie and the Inkling watched them go by, light in the cave fading as they walked away. "Rebels…"

"Rebels? Of Octarians? ...They trust Inklings more than you do?"

Aussie scowled. "Says the kidnapper."

The Inkling frowned. "Again, not intentional."

Aussie shook her head. "The difference between rebels and regular, steadfast Octarians is that they hate both Inklings and Octarians. They turn their back on the glory that is service to our fantastic, ever-awe-inspiring Octavio and the also ever vigilant Octarian forces."

"Sheesh, I could do without the Octavio sales pitch," The Inkling muttered, switching to squid form. "You'd be great as one of those newscasters back in Inkopolis."

Aussie recoiled in horror at the thought of being like a talking head for some horrible Inkling agency. Taking his backpack with him, the Inkling squeezed himself through the crevice and popped back out on the other side, dropping one of his tentacles through for Aussie to grab. Reluctantly, Aussie let the Inkling fish her out of the crevice and drop her on the ground.

"Alright...hmm…" The Inkling mused.

Aussie watched as the Inkling paced in circles, looking around at the cave. "Bring me back," she demanded.

"Sure, sure. As soon as...I...hmmmmmm."

"...Are you lost?" Aussie asked incredulously.

The Inkling scratched the back of his head. "No, it's just...the directions I got aren't too clear, and these caverns look very similar-"

Aussie groaned. "Nice work, you Inklidiot!"

"Hey!" The Inkling snapped, only to pause to process what she said. "...That insult's still so weak, why do all of our race insults sound like that?"

"How am I supposed to get home if my kidnapper doesn't even know where he is? You suck at this!" Aussie barked.

"Yeah you're right, I do suck at accidentally kidnapping annoying children, I'll definitely try harder not doing that in the future."

Aussie scowled. The Inkling just rolled his eyes and offered his hand to the small octopus. She reluctantly, gingerly took his hand, letting him pick her up. Opening the zipper on his backpack, he started to place her inside.

"What are you doing?"

The Inkling arched an eyebrow. "How else am I supposed to carry you around?"

"I'm not riding in your backpack all day." Aussie glared at him.

The Inkling shook his head and sighed, looking around the cave. "Fine."

He quickly raised Aussie up and dropped her on his blue tentacle hair. Aussie made a very confused noise as she plopped down on his head.

"...Why?"

The Inkling rolled up his sleeves. "Just in case I need to use my arms for something."

Aussie's face lit up. "Whoa." Five seconds later, her face darkened. "Inklings really are savages, you'll use just your fists, huh?"

"Alright," The Inkling muttered, pointing to Aussie, "You gotta relax with this whole 'Inklings' talk. I don't like being 'the example' of my species."

"Oh, you will be and you'll wear that badge around your neck until the day I die, Inkling scumbag." Aussie sneered, secretly hoping that day wasn't today.

"My name isn't 'Inkling', it's Phish," Phish sighed.

"...Your name is Fish?"

Phish's jaw slackened. "You aren't the first one to make that mistake," He then muttered under his breath, "And won't be the last."

"It's Phish. P-H-I-S-H." He explained.

"...Your parents misspelled your name?"

Phish rolled his eyes. "Hoo boy. Here's a thing you might not know: Inklings and everybody else who lives over in Inkopolis or even relatively close to where it is LOVE puns. And by puns, I mean making words sound like fish names. They do it constantly."

Aussie made a face. "...You're serious?"

"It's charming at first, but then a bunch of kids start dropping slang on you that sounds like they're reading from a marine biology textbook and then you start hating having the ability to hear." Phish shook his head.

Aussie held onto his tentacles as he shook. "Slang?"

"Uh, yeah like uh…" Phish snapped his fingers. "'You're eely scary-looking mister' or 'haliBOUT you get out of the way' or something equally stupid."

Aussie blinked. "...THAT'S what Inklings sound like?"

"Well, I don't talk like that, and there aren't TOO many that do, but-"

"There's no one that goes 'HERE WE GO!' or 'HYAAA' or 'For my friends, I will defeat you' or...?"

"...No," Phish said, "What? What are you talking about?"

"Okay, but what about princes and kingdoms?"

"Outdated by SEVERAL years. Not sure if Inkling history even stretches back that long for that."

"No giant monsters?"

"None."

"...No awesome fighting tournaments?"

"We don't shoot fire out of our hands or can spontaneously punch up like twelve feet into the air if that's what you're asking."

"...You're lying," Aussie sputtered out, visibly deflating. "That's...unbelievably disappointing."

Phish shook his head, stepping over an outcrop in the cave floor. "Sorry Aussie. Practically everything in the 3DS is fiction, plain and simple."

Aussie pounded the top of Phish's head. "I refuse to believe that! Many findings in the Octarian officially approved literature support the evidence in the 3DS almost nearly to a T! ...Open your mouth!"

"Wha- Why? GAK!"

Aussie pulled the corners of Phish's mouth open and peered inside. "AHA! Fangs!"

Brushing Aussie's tiny nubs off his face, Phish grunted and asked, "Yeah, and what's the inside of your mouth look like, genius?"

"I-" Aussie frowned, running her tongue over her fangs. "Um…"

Phish sighed. "I guess I can't really blame you; it's not like I can say much for our education system back home either. Most people now don't really know what an Octoling IS anymore," Phish shook his head, "...At least, no one really talks about it."

Aussie's frown got bigger. "Really? Octarians and Inklings have been at war with each other for over a hundred years. LONG before the Great Turf War. We would know this material!"

"They teach you that but not basic shared biology between Inklings and Octolings?" Phish shook his head. "That's true at least. ...They won't teach the kids about how these insane shapeshifting bodies of ours work, but they'll gladly talk about the time we fought each other with bamboo sticks and giant robots."

"You say that like you were there," Aussie said, lounging on Phish's head.

Phish scratched the back of his neck. "...I studied."

"Mmm," Aussie hummed.

Phish walked in silence for a while through the caves. Come to think of it, despite living in what was functionally a cave for her entire life, Aussie's never been to many other places let alone caves. Even then, this place was dimmer and eerily quiet compared to any kettle she's ever been in. Just Phish and herself.

Yet at the same time, it felt oddly exhilarating.

Aussie frowned. She wondered whether to believe his words or not. If she was honest, all the Octarian briefings and young Octoling pamphlets that made it to her kettle hyped up Inklings to be...well…

Not like whatever Phish is.

"What are other Inklings like?"

"Hm? Told you, bad puns and slang," Phish stated shrugging.

"Not just that."

"I don't know how else to describe them."

Aussie frowned. "You must have friends. Inkling cohorts, partners-in-crime."

Phish slowed down. "...used to."

"What was that?"

"I used to," Phish spoke up, louder than Aussie was expecting.

"...Uh-huh."

Phish crossed his arms. "Anyway, Inklings act like Inklings, that's...that."

"What were they like?"

"..."

Aussie could feel the man tense up. She wondered if she had struck a nerve. She decided to find out. "What's the matter? Inklings not so keen on camaraderie? Do you even have friends?"

"Feh!" Phish fumed, beginning to walk faster.

"Hey! You don't even know where you're going!"

"Yeah, well, standing around talking to you isn't gonna help," Phish grumbled.

The two of them didn't speak again for a while. Phish continued searching through the cave, squinting through the darkness every now and then. They bumped into the cave walls every now and again, much to both of their annoyance.

Aussie was the first one to break the silence. "Hey, Phish…"

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to talk about your friends if you don't want to," Aussie muttered.

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Sorry, Aussie."

"It's...okay," Aussie said.

"My friends, they're uh...they're no longer with us."

"...Oh."

"Yeah. They were good people though. Uh...don't know how much the spiel I went on earlier applies to them."

"...Is that why you're here in Octo Valley?" Aussie asked. "Is this a revenge thing?"

Phish shook his head. "No, not at all. My friends passed from natural causes. I do still have a friend of sorts that lives around here, and I'm visiting."

Aussie frowned. "So then wait, that's why you were looking through the kettles?"

"Not exactly. Dropped this on my way there," Phish explained, lifting the 3DS out of his bag before dropping it back inside, "Lost it when running from the Octarian troops you seem to idolize."

"Hm. It must be important, then."

"'Expensive', but yeah." Phish shook his head.

"Are you a rich Inkling then?" Aussie wondered aloud.

Phish grinned. "Not in the slightest. I just happened to save up."

Aussie looked down. "So then what's with the tie?"

"What about it?"

"I just wanna know," Aussie said, "I might not get a chance to ask an Inkling anything again until I become an Octoling soldier."

Phish frowned. "Become a soldier?"

"Most Octarians just stay in kettles until they're old enough to serve. Even then, there aren't a lot of Octarian soldiers who go out and actually fight the enemy. They usually make sure our kettles are protected."

"So you don't ever get to leave your home?" Phish asked.

"My parents did when they served, and they do occasionally if they get called. My dad's a sniper, and he got to see Inklings out in the field. My mom's also an Octoling soldier, and she gets to leave every now and again."

"What about you though? Don't you ever get to...I dunno, go outside somewhere and play with the other kids?"

Aussie scoffed. "Only once in a while for group training exercises to be a true Octoling troop."

"What's that like?" Phish asked.

"Oh, I line up with others and we take turns leading, giving orders, staying in formation- I remember we used to throw bombs at each other once and take cover! That was a fun day."

"Huh…" Phish frowned. "Fake bombs?"

"No, ink bombs. How else would you train if not with the real things? I mean, no one got hurt, so it's fine!" Aussie chimed in.

Phish rubbed the back of his head. "Y'know, I'd say I'd be surprised, but Inklings basically do the same thing anyway."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's like a sport or something. People shoot and throw bombs at each other and play to cover the most turf with their ink. Not really my thing anymore."

Aussie scowled. "So Inklings train too."

Phish sighed. "I mean, that's definitely one way of looking at it…"

"Uh, you never explained the tie."

"Oh." Phish glanced down at his chest, then back up at Aussie. "I just like wearing it."

Aussie felt incredibly let down by that explanation but didn't say a word.

Phish stopped suddenly, looking around the cave. He squints his eyes, running his hand along the cave wall as he walks, much to Aussie's curiosity.

"We've been talking a while…" Phish explains, "But I think we're just about out of here." He looks up to Aussie. "Once I meet with my friend, we'll get you back home."

"How do you know we're close?"

Phish glanced at the wall. "The pattern here on this wall...it's what was described in the note."

Aussie squinted. "All I see is mostly black."

Phish sighed. "Yeah..."

"You're not sure, are you?" Aussie sighed.

Phish frowned. "No, but I figure it can't be any worse than-"

"Did you hear that? I think they're over here!"

"Waiting. I was going to say waiting for them to catch up."

Phish and Aussie glanced around the dark cavern. Shuffling, footsteps and all kinds of hubbub came rolling in from behind them. Muttering something under his breath Aussie couldn't hear, Phish picked up his pace and ran forward, only to run into an unexpected roadblock.

"Your days are numbered, Inkling. Hand over the girl," the rebel Octoling ordered.

AN: Dude, Splatoon 3 literally was announced in between chapters, lmao.

I am never finishing this story in time, man.

Thanks to Guest for reviewing. I don't think I'm ending this story on 100 chapters, unfortunately, but that would've been pretty cool.

Thanks for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle. Uh, see ya next time maybe.