Splatoon: The Brothers and the Others
This Journey's In the Bag
"Hand over the girl."
Aussie gulped. She looked down at Phish, wondering what his next move was. Two tired, angry, and armed rebel Octarian battalions surrounded them and were getting suffocatingly close.
Aussie went over her options. She could try running, but she already thought of trying that against Phish, and the number of actual legs spotted in the angry mob shut it down for sure. Surrender was an option, but-
"No," Phish replied, kicking the rebel Octoling in her shins.
"GAAAAH!" She screamed, holding her leg.
Wha-
Huh? WHAT?
To say that Aussie was completely taken off guard? Calling it the understatement of the century would be an understatement in of itself. Phish began kicking then jumping off of the Octarians' heads, all while he had one hand on his own, making sure Aussie didn't fall off.
Luckily for them, the rebel Octarians were just as surprised as Aussie was. The rebel Octoling Phish had just sucker-kicked barked orders while still clutching her shins, but Phish was WAAAY too fast. He was dipping and diving through the crowd of rebels, sometimes switching to a squid and juggling Aussie like a ball while weaving through the crowd.
Chaos broke out. The term "friendly fire" couldn't quite describe the scene, but perhaps just "fire" could. Octolings tried aiming whatever gun they had, but more often than not they'd find themselves pointing it straight ahead at some poor Octotrooper just trying to figure out where the Inkling was. A few tried shooting in spite of this, but all the bodies congested into the cavern just meant more painted octopuses.
As soon as Phish got on the other side of the crowd, the rebels started firing again. ("Guys in the front ONLY!" screamed one of the Octolings.) Aussie, despite what little floor space she had on Phish's head, began dodging and weaving ink bullets like nobody's business while Phish took off through the caves running, leaving the rebels in the dust.
"What the actual flipping heck was THAT?" Aussie exclaimed, ducking under an ink salvo, "You were lying about the 3DS being fiction! That was like 'Super Street Splatter 4'!"
"Cod, these game titles sound so much better on paper!" Phish shook his head(much to Aussie's annoyance), "No, I just have experience running!"
"And kicking?"
Phish rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I forgot to mention, I'm a celebrated kickboxer who went on to hone my craft by beating random people in unsanctioned fights around the globe."
"Aha!"
"Sarcasm! That was sarcasm!" Phish explained exasperatedly.
"Uh, yeah!" Aussie said, looking back, "Uh-huh! I know!"
"Never mind that! Uh…hm…" Phish hummed, running his hand against the wall as he ran.
Aussie yelped. "Duck!"
Almost instinctively, Phish followed Aussie's lead and lowered his head, watching a bomb sail over him and land in front of them. He leaped over the bomb as it exploded, droplets of ink catching the back of his leg. Phish grit his teeth; whatever was in that ink stung! Nevertheless, his legs still worked, so he kept running.
"Aussie," Phish said, running around a corner, "If worst comes to worst-"
"What?"
Phish scowled. "I know for a fact that I can't fight them. I've got no weapons and my legs are already starting to burn."
Aussie frowned. "So what, you want me to run away while you die?"
"Uh-"
"You're not going to die, Phish! What kind of self-respecting Inkling would die to a bunch of rag-tag rebel scum, huh? Taking the coward's way out? Eh?" Aussie accused him, practically snarling.
"...Huh? I-"
"You're the only way I can get home! Plus, you have a friend you want to meet, right? What is he gonna think if you just up and die?" Aussie scolded, hopping off his head and facing him, "You're getting us out of here!"
Phish blinked. "You know, for a six-year-old, you sure are spirited."
"Six? I'm not si-"
Phish clamped a hand over Aussie's mouth, shushing her. Placing her back on top of his head, he got up and began to slowly walk through the caves, doing his best to stick to the wall, staying in the dark. Light from a rebel's flashlight or lantern poked around from the corner with a whole squadron filing past soon after.
The two shared a silent look and both seemed to agree. They would continue together.
The rest of the trek through the caverns was slow, each step taken with caution. Every time light would pop up behind them, Aussie would tap Phish on the head and they'd take shelter in the recesses of the caverns until a squad marched by or the light faded away. Afterward, Phish continued to walk, all while checking the walls from time to time. Apparently, there was something on the walls that Aussie couldn't see, but if she ran her tiny nubs for hands across them, Aussie would feel slight grooves made in the walls.
"We're close…" Phish would muse while walking, making sure to look over his shoulder. "I hope."
They walked, walked, walked, and walked some more. The caverns became a near featureless labyrinth that made it feel like hours upon hours were spent backtracking the same paths, passing what felt like the same rocks and stalactites. As if the threat of Octarian rebels wasn't enough, the complete lack of conversation was really beginning to throttle Aussie's mind. It felt like she was just being ferried through the darkness, with only a few occasional short mutters from Phish to reassure her that they were getting closer.
But eventually, after what felt like the entire day, the two found light. Natural light, with no rebel in sight. Lo and behold, a path upwards and out of the cave.
Phish glanced around. Left, right. Still no rebels. There was nothing else to do but run to the exit. Backpack on his back and Aussie on his head, he made a mad dash, kicking off from the rocks beneath his feet up to the outside.
It was late in the afternoon. The sky above was starkly blue, dazzling Aussie as much as it was a relief. Phish, not being one for nature so much as he was for surviving, trudged on, climbing rocks.
Aussie's "dazzle" invoked awe wore off with the realization that the rebels could probably just flag them down easily after they leave the cave.
"Phish!" Aussie whispered.
"Are they here already?" Phish asked, turning his head.
"No, but-" Aussie began, keeping a grip on said head, "-what are we gonna do when they get here?"
"We're doing it right now," Phish replied, picking up the pace.
Phish trudged on, vaulting over rock after rock. His face was stoic with determination, knowing more or less what would happen if they caught up. His chest thumped, mind attempting to come up with ideas that would help if they got too close.
Or when.
Sadly, between the empty backpack and the whole lot of nothing the mountains had in way of help, there wasn't much Phish could think to do but keep moving.
"Phish!"
Or hide. Phish ducked behind a larger rock jutting out of the ground. This time, he just looked up silently. Aussie's alert posture and nervous eyes were all he needed to know.
"Come on out, Inkling, we know you're here."
Aussie's alert posture and nervous eyes and the rebel yelling were all he needed to know.
"Aussie, earlier you mentioned throwing bombs…"
"You have bombs?" Aussie asked hopefully.
Phish shook his head, picking up a small rock by his feet. "Not exactly. Here's the plan. Stay low and keep moving."
Aussie blinked in confusion. Without another word, Phish cocked his arm and hurled the rock to the left. As it clattered with the ground, Aussie made a mad dash for another large rock to hide behind. Once she found one, she peeked over the side, watching.
Phish, now in squid form, had squeezed himself under another outcropping, rebel Octoling just on the other side. Aussie recognized her as the rebel that had her shin kicked in, and judging by the way her fingers were digging into the very rock he was hiding behind, not very happy about getting kicked. Phish tensed up, trying to figure out how he'd get out of this.
The solution that came just made things worse.
Aussie picked up a pebble and flung it at the Octoling. All it did was bounce off the side of the outcropping. Her head spun toward Aussie. Dread didn't just creep in for Aussie; dread had clutched her. Suddenly, the rebel cracked a grin. It was greedy, like she had just hit the jackpot. In spite of everything drilled into Aussie, she felt nervous, then scared as she came closer, one hand reaching out to her and another on her beaten up Octoshot.
"Let me save you from that Inkling, girl. Come here," she said, almost cooing.
Phish sprung into action, switching to his humanoid form elbow first, knocking the rebel down. Taking off in a sprint, he swooped in and picked Aussie up, only to trip and fall to the ground.
Phish shouted in pain, his leg stained with ink. The rebel didn't hesitate, firing upon him. With little else to do, Phish held Aussie close to his chest, shielding her with his back. Aussie could only watch, petrified, as he took the fire.
"Die, you Inkling scum!" The rebel shouted, pushing the gun up to Phish's back.
Aussie's red eyes shrunk in terror. Phish was about to die, and there wasn't a thing in the world she could do.
Clunk.
Then the rebel dropped to the ground. Aussie's eyes drifted to the side, and standing over Phish was another Octoling, clad in a worn black shirt and pants. Aussie's tiny chest was pounding. Another rebel?
The "other rebel" took a bamboo staff and bashed the rebel in the head, watching her fall to the ground in distaste. With her knocked out, she picked her up and tossed her away from the two.
Turning to Aussie, she crouched down, visibly worried. Aussie just stared back, uncertain of what to do or even what to say.
"...Phish. What did she do to you…" Her voice was heavy, almost as though she were chastising him with a mourning tone.
Phish just groaned, cracking open one eye. "Hey…"
The Octoling just shook her head, looking over at Aussie. "You poor girl. Got stuck with this bleeding heart. Are you hurt?"
"N-No."
Her shoulders sagged in relief. "Come on." She took Aussie's small hand in her own. "Before her friends find us."
Aussie was lifted up into the Octoling's arm. She wanted to feel reassured, but something about this woman bothered her. She was definitely less threatening than the rebel who just had her head bonked by a stick of bamboo, but Aussie's mind was too preoccupied running wild trying to answer all her own questions.
Then she looked down at Phish. A flood of emotions ran through Aussie, washing away her questions. He was gritting his teeth, doing his best to try and stand.
"Need any help?" The Octoling asked.
Aussie was blown away by how casual she was being.
Phish grunted, reaching a hand out. "Yes. Please."
"..."
She let Phish hang his arm over her shoulder. Together they began trudging across the mountain. Just like the trip out of the cavern, it was quiet, aside from the labored breathing of Phish and the occasional grunt or annoyed musing of the Octoling as she carried Aussie and Phish.
Eventually, they all came to a stop. There was a shack resting in a more level plot of land, surrounded by outcroppings and boulders. Even for Octarian standards, Aussie couldn't help but think it was dinky.
The Octoling just walked up to the door and swung it open with a loud, "We're home."
Aussie blinked. It was as dinky as the outside, only furnished with a few counters to the left, a couch to the right, and a cot or two in the back, straight past where they entered.
The Octoling pulled on a string and lights in the shack flickered on. With that, she unceremoniously slung Phish onto the couch.
"Hey!" Aussie protested.
"Oh, don't worry. He's a lot tougher than he looks."
Phish blinked, being face up on the couch. He glanced around, the shut his eyes and sighed contently. "This is a soft couch."
"Why don't you keep ol' meat shield over here company while I get some medical supplies, huh?" The Octoling asked, placing Aussie by Phish's chest.
She just nodded. The older Octoling went off to the counter. Phish groaned, alerting Aussie to his wounds. While there were no large openings, neither of them knew what might be in the rebel ink. Toxins, maybe?
Aussie glared at Phish. "What were you thinking?"
Phish frowned, rolling his arm off the side of the couch. "Not the reaction I was expecting…"
"You were about to die!"
"You heard her. I'm tougher than I- YOW!"
Aussie slapped his leg, stained with ink. "You could've let me go! You didn't need to go and get yourself shot, and end up dying, and-"
"I'm not DYING Aussie. You're blowing all of this way out of proportion!" Phish countered.
"How were you supposed to go and meet your friend if you did? Were you just going to die and leave them and me all alone?"
Phish's face flushed. "Hey-"
"Inklings are so stupid! I can't believe-! What kind of a plan-!" Aussie constantly interrupted herself, visibly frustrated.
After all that, all Phish could muster was letting his head fall back on the couch armrest. He stared up at the ceiling, feeling guilty and genuinely, just slightly embarrassed.
"Criticized by a six-year-old." Phish wanted to put his hands under his head and stretch his arms, but the way the ink stung made it hard.
"I TOLD you already, I'm not- Huh?"
Both Phish and Aussie shut up. A pair of violet eyes stared back at them, and they stared back at it. Phish rubbed his eyes, looking back between Aussie and the new addition.
"Mai?" Phish called, "Who is this?"
The Octoling came back with a sponge, some bandages, and a first aid kit. She glanced up at the top of the couch, smiled softly, then went back to Phish.
"Tai, you remember Phish."
The small Octoling child waved at Phish shyly. Phish turned to Mai, eyes wide in astonishment.
"WHU-"
"Oh come on Phish, you remember my daughter? You've seen her before."
"No? Never!" Phish shouted, "Ow!"
Mai pressed the sponge up against Phish's wounds. The ink seeped from Phish's skin and into the sponge, coloring it a dark violet. Phish hissed at the feeling, but laid back on the couch nonetheless, letting Mai tend to him.
Mai frowned. "Really? She was always here, all those times you visited in the past."
Phish looked up at the little Tai and frowned. "I would've remembered!"
Tai grinned sheepishly, looking down to the side. "I am kinda...small."
"She TALKS already too?"
Mai punched his arm.
"Agh! Quit it! I thought you were helping me!" Phish complained.
"First of all, she's not an infant, she's a full-blown girl." Mai corrected, pushing the sponge against a spot on his arm.
Behind Phish, Tai was beaming.
"Second, I have no idea how you managed to never see her anytime you visited. Thirdly-"
Aussie was startled as Mai pointed to her. "Who's this worried little girl you brought along with you?"
"That's Aussie! And I didn't bring her along! I mean, not intentionally-"
"What, did she just FALL into your backpack?" Mai asked.
"Yes," Aussie answered.
"..."
"So, you just stay in a kettle all day?"
"Yeah, but isn't living on a mountain also kinda boring?"
Tai shook her head. "Mom takes me out on trips sometimes."
Aussie sighed. "Must be nice."
"Yeah, it's great, but it's mostly just dust and rocks out here."
"They seem to be getting along," Phish mused, watching from the couch.
Tai and Aussie were both sitting on the floor not far from them. Upon noticing Phish staring, Aussie looked away, whereas Tai just grinned back at him. He waved, and the two quickly got back to talking once Phish turned away.
"I really wish these sorts of things didn't happen every time I came around to say 'hi'," Phish grumbled.
Mai laughed, lounging back on the couch with him. "That's part of the fun, isn't it? I don't know what the shell to expect when you come by to say 'hi'."
Phish sighed, facepalming. "I need to get you a phone or something."
Mai sighed too, but heavier and way more facetiously. "Then we'd just be two people sitting on hills just talking to each other about the weather."
Phish frowned. "Guess there isn't really much to talk about."
Mai arched an eyebrow. "Sure there is. Uh, you ran into a rebel army? You almost got shot to death?"
Phish looked down. "That...sucked. And it definitely- Tch! Stings…hey, that doesn't help your argument!"
Mai applied the sponge to Phish's arm and shook her head. "Death's gotta hate you for things like this."
"Can we not talk about the angry rebel problem? That's not a big part of why I came here."
Mai raised an eyebrow, leaning back. "Oh?"
He turned to look at Aussie and Tai again. "Are you just raising her by yourself?"
Mai sighed, leaning back. "Yeah. I'm sending her to the big guy and his boys soon though. She's not happy about it, but I figure there's not much here for Tai to look forward to either."
"You sure that's okay? Sending a kid to fight battles?"
"Of course not. But I'm in luck, because Octarian 'battles' nowadays consist of sitting in giant tea kettles and waiting for things to happen." Mai grinned. "That said, it means she has more people to talk to and more things to happen to her than just sitting around with me."
Phish crossed his arms. "Hm."
"'Hm'?"
"Nothing. If that's the truth, then that's fine."
The two sat and watched the kids. Tai had a ball that she and Aussie were now just throwing back and forth to each other. It was obvious they didn't really know what else to do, both of them just staring across the room at each other between throws. Suddenly, Tai grinned, hurling it at Aussie hard. Aussie caught at, and almost like some contagious disease, she grinned too, throwing it back harder.
Phish whistled. "They've got good throwing arms."
"Yeah."
Phish looked over at Mai. "Do you love her?"
"Hmm?"
"Your daughter," Phish responded, "You love her?"
"Phish, that's one of the dumbest things you've ever said." Mai laughed, looking back over at her.
"Yeah…?" Phish said, shaking his head.
The two watched again. The game had intensified, with Aussie growing more annoyed with Tai as she kept breaking unspoken rules, like using furniture to prop her up and score whatever points she could, hitting the back of the house's walls while Aussie furiously attempted to retaliate with her own throws.
"So, say you had a choice between your daughter or the opportunity of a lifetime."
Mai frowned. "What?"
Phish turned to Mai. "Would you-"
"Dude, what are you talking about?"
Mai blinked. Suddenly, Phish had this look on his face. It was a hard, incredibly conflicted stare.
"Phish…"
He turned to Mai, frowning. "It's…"
"Are you okay?"
"It's…" Phish shook his head. "I've come this far, and I'm getting cold feet, but...it's so hard to explain. I don't really think I've even really thought it out as much as I should, but..."
"...You're losing me."
Phish looked up at the ceiling. "Pirah and I might have found something. Something incredibly important. It's also something...incredibly hard to explain. But it might solve all our problems."
Phish looked over at Mai. "But it also might just make too many for us to solve. That's why I want your advice, Mai."
Mai frowned. "You haven't even explained anything, man."
"I can't." Phish sighed, holding his head. "I know it's frustrating, but-"
"No."
Phish looked back at Mai, who had a stern look on her face. "What?"
"Your earlier question. No. Even if you explain this 'ultimatum' you set up? No. I don't think I'd give up Tai for anything." Mai told him. "You found something, huh? Well...if it's important enough to mean giving up a kid for, I wouldn't go for it. Not unless I could change the way I'm going about it."
"Mai…"
"We've lost things, people, and time, Phish, and I do have a lot of regrets," Mai explained, putting her hands in her lap, "I had a lot of fun and have a lot of things that still bother me to this day. Would it be nice to go back in time and fix all the mistakes? Sure."
Mai then got closer, staring Phish dead in the eyes. "But right now, all I've got is Tai. She's my baby, man. She's everything that all of my life was worth doing for, and I wouldn't trade her for anything."
Phish looked back at Mai, awestruck. He glanced over at the kids and was subsequently surprised to find the two of them staring up at the adults, the ball rolling carelessly to the side. Tai was wide-eyed.
Mai blushed but smiled. "Ha. How much of that did you hear?"
"Mom…"
Mai grinned, looking back at Phish. "W-Well, that answer your question?"
Phish closed his eyes. "Yeah. It did. When did you get so mature?"
"Pfffff. Now the moment's gone. And so is all the ink on you. Get out."
Phish managed to smile. "Shoot, guess I'm going. C'mon Aussie, I'll take you home."
"Er...okay." She turned to Tai. "Guess this is goodbye."
Tai smiled. "It was fun playing with you. I bet we'll see each other again."
Aussie smiled back. This girl may have started cheating in the game, but she was pretty nice and fun to be around. "Yeah, I hope so. Bye."
Tai and Mai waved them off as Phish took Aussie in his arms, putting her on his head. Both of them thought the act was a tad strange, but continued waving them off regardless as Phish limped away into the mountains.
"Home sweet home, huh?"
Aussie walked up to her house. The training dummy and her slingshot were still right where she left them, and there was no sign of her parents. She walked on top of the dirt absentmindedly, as if she didn't just have a run-in with vicious rebels just a few hours prior.
Funnily enough, the trek back to the kettles was a lot less eventful than the adventure away from it. Maybe the rebels realized that the Inkling wasn't worth the headache or the kick in the shins. Nonetheless, it made the journey back make the whole day feel all that more surreal, going back through empty tunnels with ink being the only indication anything might have happened.
"So...this is goodbye." Aussie looked up at Phish.
Phish nodded. "Yep."
"...Could I keep your-"
"Nope," Phish shook his head.
"Come on, I'll give it back!" Aussie protested.
Phish gave her a look. Unzipping his backpack, he pulled out the 3DS, looking down at it. He then looked at Aussie, who was doing her best "puppy-dog-eyes" performance.
Phish rolled his eyes. "Unless you have a stash of valuables you're willing to trade, I'm not giving you this."
Aussie sighed. "Dang it."
"But I will give you this."
Aussie gasped in surprise as he tossed a cartridge at her. Aussie fumbled with it, making sure dirt didn't get inside. She held the square game in her hands, staring up at Phish in amazement.
"Listen," Phish said, rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't know if we'll see each other again."
"What?" Aussie asked.
Phish held his hand up. Aussie shut herself up and sat on the ground. "I already beat the game, so I don't really mind giving it away, but this handheld's too pricy to just give away. So, I figure, if we ever DO meet again or if you decide to swing by Inkopolis…"
Aussie stood up. "Shell yeah! I will dedicate myself to getting promoted enough to get sent on a mission to reconnaissance in Inkopolis so that one day I can play those games again!"
"...That's...one motivation, sure…" Phish muttered.
"And I'll definitely see you again!" Aussie declared.
"Aussie…" Phish shook his head.
"Definitely," she repeated, dead-seriously.
Phish sighed. "Fine. Goodbye, Aussie."
"Goodbye Phish!" Aussie waved, "I WILL see you again, and I WILL play your video games!"
Phish just shrugged his shoulders in defeat, waving as he left. He walked away, slightly recovered from the punishment he'd endured earlier. Aussie listened intently, with the distant whistle of the kettle signaling his disappearance.
The Inkling was gone. Aussie turned her attention back to the Inkling mannequin set up for target practice.
"...This doesn't change anything between us," Aussie growled, pointing to it with determination coursing through her right up to her fingertips(which weren't quite as developed as fingertips just yet), "We're still enemies."
Aussie froze, looking down at the game cartridge. "Though...it's nice to know that not every Inkling is a monster."
She held it gently in her hands. Today, and even tomorrow, Aussie wouldn't become a fully-fledged Octoling. Not yet.
Though, for whatever reason, she was more excited than ever before for when that day would eventually come.
"FORMER COMMANDER AND STRIKE WORKER-"
"Oh my Cod! Skell!" Aussie complained, jolting up, more awake than ever.
"Sorry! :p We're here!"
"What?"
Aussie looked around. They were in a large, bowl-shaped canyon, with a large octopus-shaped rock formation sitting in the bottom of a vast, violet lake, stretching its tentacles up out into the sky. In the distance was a city.
"...This looks really similar to Octo Valley." Aussie commented.
"YES. THE ROCK COMPOSITION IS SIMILAR, AND SUCH IS THE ATMOSPHERE," the Skell replied.
"We're not on another planet, you don't have to brief me like that!" Aussie chided the giant robot, "But it IS weird."
"Yeah…" Tai chimed in suddenly.
"WHOA!"
"Easy, Aussie! Don't fall off again!" Tai commanded, holding Aussie by her arm.
"Jeez, how long did I sleep for this time?"
"About 171 days," Tai told her.
Aussie frowned, looking up at Tai.
"Kidding, you were just asleep for an hour or so. Sheesh." Tai rolled her eyes.
"Why did you say '171 days' so certainly, like that was the truth?" Aussie asked suspiciously. "Also, why such a specific number?"
"I dunno," Tai shrugged, "Just thought a specific number would be more convincing."
"...Uh HUH." Aussie decided that pressing her would be a waste of time. "Anyway, how much longer until-"
"We're here," Tai told her simply.
Aussie blinked. She looked over the side of the Skell's shoulder, looking down at the mountain range, the giant rock octopus, and the floating islands made of metal and...more rock.
"This...is not…" Aussie frowned, looking around. "There's no way this is-"
"No, this is definitely Octo Canyon!" Clariss stated (loudly) from the other side of the Skell. "The two-hour-ish ride over here and the slight but definite differences prove it."
"She didn't believe me? :(" The Skell shook its head, Clariss patting it on the side of its face.
"No way! Like what? ...Two hours?" Aussie fired off question after question.
"Well, as you can see down there, the kettles are placed differently," Clariss explained, "And the rock octopus is below us instead of on top of the canyon walls."
"...And?"
"...And it's...an hour's bus ride away from Octo Valley?" Clariss said, frowning.
"I thought you said it was two-"
Clariss pat the Skell's shoulder. "Giant robot, commander."
Aussie bit her lip. "But...hey, then we took two hours? We took longer to get here with the giant robot."
"You can blame 'Bomb Rush' for that," Tai said, looking down from the Skell.
Aussie looked down as well. Surrounded by several burnt-out Octarians was Callie, still standing and dancing on top of one of the metal chassis used as a wagon.
"C'mon guys! The day's still young!" Callie cheered them on.
"UUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHH."
One of the Octolings, stubbornly resting in octopus form, cried out, "If I have to use my actual legs to walk again, I'm jumping off the side!"
"Somebody PLEASE take the hypnoshades away from her," another whined.
Tai grinned. "Man, I'm so glad we took the Skell. It's been like- What, half an hour and everybody's still out of it?"
"Half an- What!" Aussie croaked.
"Aussie, PLEASE!"
Aussie looked down off the Skell and squinted. With a sigh, Aussie just tapped the Skell's head, whispering a command. Its eye glowed blue, and it hovered low to the island so that all the Octolings on-board its shoulders could step off. They were greeted by tired Octolings, some familiar and others not.
Ova, one of the familiars, stepped up. Well, crawled up technically. "Can we go home now? This whole operation's just been a bust."
"What are you talking about?" Aussie asked, amazed at the state of the troops.
"Hey! I'm the commander now, remember?" Tai interjected, putting herself between them.
Ova glared at Tai. "Raise your hand if you want Tai to still lead us after this."
Tai frowned. "That's not fair! Everyone's arms are too tired from pushing things all day!"
"You still got my vote, Tai."
"Thanks Lee. Lee?" Tai wondered aloud, looking around.
She spotted Lee, sitting on an overcrowded blue couch on the side of the floating island. She and about four other Octolings waved from the comfort of their seats.
"Traitor," Ova grumbled.
"Hey! Focus!" Aussie scolded them. "I thought we were here because of the whole 'Octavio' thing."
"Oh, yeah. Hey Octavio!" Tai shouted to the giant snowglobe behind Aussie.
"?"
Aussie spun around. There, sat a giant snowglobe with several stickers plastered on top, and inside? None other than the man of the hour, Octavio, wearing a new hat and a fresh pair of ladder shades over his head. Even with all the swirling snow inside, it was easy to tell Octavio wasn't happy.
"...Hey," Octavio greeted her begrudgingly.
"Please tell me that was us," Aussie asked, almost beggingly.
"I'm afraid not."
Aussie turned around. Sitting under the roof of a small wood shack was none other than Marie of the Squid Sisters, garbed in a black kimono that had a bit of grey-
"So ALL of this was for nothing then?" Aussie cried out.
"YES!" The Octarians yelled back at her.
"...Ah, sorry, you all did the heavy lifting, huh?" Aussie pointed out.
She was answered with a series of groans and a few obscene gestures.
Marie cleared her throat. "Uh, hi? You're the one in charge, right? Since you're awake, can I finally explain what's up so you guys can leave?"
"Hey!" Aussie blushed. "...I don't normally sleep this long."
"Mm, okay," Marie just nodded, "Here's the situation. Your boss, Octavio, set up shop here. He stole the Great Zapfish again, set up a bunch of different obstacle courses our Agent 4 had to traverse- Not here today, by the way, off doing something in Inkopolis, and was set on doing some nefarious shenanigans kinda like what happened two years ago."
"...Two years ago?" Tai interrupted.
Marie nodded. "Yeah. Like the whole 'Octo Valley' thing again. He came over here-"
Tai shook her head. "No way. That wasn't 'two years ago'."
Everyone looked over at Tai. A few of the Octotroopers raised their brows. Some of the Octolings looked at each other, mixed expressions of confusion and agreement between themselves.
"Huh?" Aussie murmured.
"Right. Sorry, my sense of time has been kinda 'out' lately. It was actually…a couple of years back."
Aussie frowned. A couple of years? Regardless, it was important she got the full story for both her sake and the exhausted Octarians' sake. She motioned for Marie to continue, but her suspicion wouldn't subside anytime soon.
Marie cleared her throat. "Agent 4 blew through the kettles. Much faster than Agent 3, but we did get reports that there weren't as many Octarians this time around." She looked at all the troops sprawled out on the dirt. "And today we found out why."
"That ain't my fault, YOU two were supposed to bring the troops and Callie here!" Octavio shouted.
"Yeah, well, we were busy trying to solve FIGHTING A REBEL FACTION!" Tai huffed.
"Can we push him off the edge?" One of the Octarians asked, raising a tentacle.
"By all means," Marie told them, crossing her arms, "He tricked me. I kept getting calls from who I thought was Callie, but it turned out it was just a bunch of edited recordings. Turns out she was just-"
"Wooo!" Callie cheered.
"Hey, Cal, come here for a sec." Marie waved her over.
Callie stopped, walked off the makeshift wagon, and sat by Marie on the shack's shabby porch. "Yeah?"
Marie immediately slapped the shades off of Callie's face. Callie blinked, then scowled, pouting and crossing her arms indignantly.
"I was having fun!" Callie protested.
"WHAT?" The crowd of Octarians shouted, everyone rising up from the ground. This wasn't a great idea, as many of them slumped back down once the fatigue set in again.
"Hey! That's my spot- Agh!" Lee complained before she was booted off the couch to make more room, landing on the floor.
"...Agent 1 was immune to hypnosis this entire time?" Aussie asked.
"Nope," Callie admitted, picking up the Octoshades and dusting them off, "It kinda just stopped working at some point."
"When?"
'IDK' flashed across the shades' LEDs. Callie just smiled, sticking her tongue out playfully. The crowd sat and stared in silence.
"'It stopped working'...?"
Marie pinched Callie's cheek. "You were on vacation with the Octarians?"
"Ow! Marie, I thought we were taking a break!"
"From what? Being cousins? Working on our careers? Callie, you've been gone for so long, I half-considered making Lalai an honorary Squid Sister." Marie shook her head. "Of course, she had her mission with Gramps and is helping her sister with her restaurant…"
"Haha, you make it sound like you were actually gonna replace me!" Callie joked.
"..."
"...Okay, I'll come back," Callie decided, "But I'm keeping the shades!"
Marie smiled, and to Callie's surprise, brought her in for a quick hug. "Fine. ...I missed you, you know?"
"Ahem."
"Oh!" Callie nodded to Aussie. "Right! They wanted to rebel against Octavio for treating them all poorly!"
"WHAT?" Octavio's voice boomed from the snowglobe.
"Yeah! Again, you just left us to fend for the rebels by ourselves!" Chi suddenly chimed in.
"And look where it got us!" One of the previous rebel Octolings joined in, walking up to Chi. "Now we're all standing together, all gathered in one place, with nothing to do!"
"Yeah!" Everyone present agreed. Octavio stirred in his snowglobe, unable to do much except nervously accept whatever was coming next.
"...Wait, hold on, doesn't this mean most of our problems are pretty much solved?" Tai wondered aloud.
Aussie blinked. "Solved?"
"Uh, Octavio's stuck in that big ol' sphere, for one. We could baaaaasically do whatever we wanted now unless the squid babes over here-"
Marie waved Tai off. "All yours."
"So, yeah, we could basically do whatever we want now. All the rebels are chilling, and the ones who aren't are on 'time-out', so…" Tai shrugged her shoulders. "We could all just…do whatever. Who's gonna stop us?"
Octavio blinked. "I mean…"
Everybody turned to the octopus stuck in the snowglobe. "I'mma be real with y'all, this was all I had planned too. For now, anyway. The whole 'energy-crisis' thing? …Kinda resolved?"
"Exactly! …What are you talking about?" Tai asked.
"Turns out for whatever reason, we've got a bunch of Zapfish plushies that just…generate electricity. So, even if ol' Shockwhisk doesn't feel like getting up and prancin' around for energy-"
"Wait wait wait…" Tai frowned, tapping her chin. "So…we're good then?"
"As if!" Ova piped up angrily, stepping forward. "What did we do all this work for?"
"It would be kinda weird not getting ANYTHING out of this…" Lee admitted, stepping up behind her.
"We could go on a road trip-" Callie tried to suggest.
The Skell's voice shook the island, "I CONCUR, THIS SEQUENCE OF EVENTS HAS NOT RESULTED IN MUCH, ASIDE FROM THE TEMPORARY ALLIANCE OF REBELS, THE ESTABLISHMENT OF A NEW BASE IN A NEW CANYON SETTING, AND THE RESOLUTION OF YET ANOTHER OCTAVIO SCHEME. We REALLY didn't get much out of this, huh? :P"
Tai scowled. "You know what? As commander- Strike worker- Whatever, who gives a ship? Like, I give up! In fact, I order that everybody give up! I've literally led us basically nowhere and everything important seems to have just…happened, so you know what?"
Tai jumped up on the porch of the shack near Callie and Marie and declared, "I'm just gonna go up to Inkopolis and check things out before my date!"
This actually elicited a few surprise reactions from the crowd. Chi and Aussie had exasperated looks on their faces while there were some murmurs and whispers among the Octarians that knew Tai. Rebels looked at each other, bewildered yet invested.
Marie shrugged. "Okay."
"Yeah! Yeah. …Wait, really? You're okay with this?" Tai spun her head down at the Squid Sister.
She had a cheeky grin. "It's been a while…so I don't this secret will hurt anybody. There have been Octolings living it up in Inkopolis."
"...Secretly?"
"In public, hanging out with Inklings," Marie explained, leaning on the shack, "It's funny, there are people who have no idea that there are Octolings casually living-"
"For how long?"
Marie looked up at Tai and shrugged. "Oh, I dunno…a few years? Months? Like I said, time's been acting funny…"
Marie looked up at the crowd, then gulped. A bunch of astonished Octarians just stood or sat on the dirt in dumbfounded silence.
Tai, upon hearing this, just turned around, faced her Octarian brethren, and cleared her throat. "Alright. Uh, so…after we move our stuff-"
Groans ensued, with most of the crowd starting to sink back to the ground.
"OR just have the Skell carry it back while you guys hang out here…"
"Hey!" The Skell protested. "Nah, I'm just kidding, this stuff's child's play for me."
"We could just…go. And see Inkopolis. Y'know, just in case you haven't been. Or if you have…"
Tai looked over at Chi, who just looked down at the ground. Aussie sighed, shaking her head.
"There was a time where I'd get sick to my stomach just going up to Inkopolis…"
"Yeah, you told me about that, that's weird."
"But NOW," Aussie snapped, Tai shooting back a grin, "I think we all might as well…take a 'break' from anything that has to do with fighting Inklings or each other. We'll talk about the power as well and installing those 'plushies' later… As for now…"
Aussie sighed. "...Who wants to go to Inkopolis?"
"Well, I thought you gave a great speech, Aussie," Tai smiled sweetly, patting her on the back.
"Bleh."
"Are they gonna be okay? Without a commander, I mean," Chi asked.
Tai shook her head. "Man, that ain't my problem anymore! And good riddance!" She then picked at the tentacles on her head, frowning, "Although I really wish the black dye up here could hurry up and get lost."
Aussie sighed, shaking her head. "It is what it is. Everyone was too tired to do anything remotely productive, and with everything that happened-"
"Or DIDN'T happen," Tai interrupted, leaning back in her chair.
Aussie pushed her out of the way. "We'll just check back on them after our visit."
Chi just nodded apprehensively. "I don't know…if anything, I hope the rebels keep their good relations even with Octavio back."
Aussie just hummed, tiredly resting the left side of her face on the table. "...You know what's strange? Agent 1 and 2 said that there were Octolings living among Inklings on the surface now…but we haven't seen a single other person here yet."
The trio of Octolings looked around Inkopolis Plaza. Booyah Base shops on the left, from the Shrimp Kicks shoe store to the Ammo Knights were shut down, shutters blocking off the entrance. To the right, the Squid Sisters' Studio and its giant television screen was shut off, screen pitch black. Inkopolis Tower right between Booyah Base and the studio still stood tall and…green, minus one Great Zapfish.
"Maybe it's a slow day." Chi wondered aloud.
"Or MAYBE all the scrubs moved on to the hot, fresh new thing and left this place in the dust."
The Octolings flinched, hearing the sound of a chair scraping across the asphalt. Joining the table, much to everyone's surprise, was Ari, as he unceremoniously flopped down on the chair and set his arms down on the table, staring at each of them like they were holding a business meeting and he was the boss.
"Okay," Ari sighed, tilting his Jungle Hat up to expose his eyes and pointing directly at Tai, "So THIS is how we're doing this?"
"Doing…what?" Tai blinked.
Ari blushed, holding his face in his hands while dramatically striking a pose with one foot on the chair and the other on the floor, swooning. "Oh, Tai! If I had known this was how we were going to meet for our little rendezvous, I would've prepared only the greatest-"
"Come off it dude, we're not having the date yet," Tai explained.
"Oh, we're not?" Ari blinked, falling back on the chair. "Oof! Then uh…what's uh…what's goin' on?"
Aussie waved. "Yes, hello to you too Agent C. Long story short, our boss got captured and we found out that Octolings have been hanging out on the surface so we decided to take our vacation."
Ari frowned, running the story through his mind a few times. "...On the surface?"
Chi turned to the other Octolings with a pout. "Maybe the Squid Sisters lied to us."
"I mean…it's been a long few years…" Ari admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.
"What?"
"I think so? I don't really have a watch or a calendar on me…"
"Wait, so it HAS been a few years? What?" Aussie interrupted. "That's not right! What's going on with you guys? WHAT?"
"Enough with the 'whats?'! It actually was a few years?" Tai wondered aloud.
Aussie frowned. "You know what? You two can go on your date right now. Chi and I will get to the bottom of this."
"We will? But I…" Chi was twiddling her fingers. "I kinda wanted to go with them."
"Sure, why not," Ari replied.
Tai gave Ari a look. He stared back at her, a tad confused, then tensed up when he realized his folly.
Tai just laughed. "We could count this as the 'pre-date' if anything. Unless you think you can handle two of us."
Chi's face lit up. "Huh?"
"Knock it off. Clearly there's something going around, and I don't fully trust that we won't get shot on sight by some Inklidiot, so I'm taking Chi." Aussie stood up and grabbed the back of Chi's vest.
"But- But-" Chi stammered, before sighing in defeat. "Tai?"
Tai gave her a sad smile. "Sorry Chi. I'll uh…see you later. We can go around the city together later?"
Chi sighed. "I'm holding you to that…ow! Aussie, slow down!"
Tai waved her off, then turned back to Ari. "So, where we going?"
Ari grinned. "Oh, I have an idea…"
"RIVALS, CHECK IT OUT! I AM DATING-"
Ari blinked. The Bates' household on the hill was awfully quiet. Standing on the grass, just in front of the doors, he wondered whether or not they were even home. He turned around, looking at Tai, who just shrugged.
She pointed to the broken window to the right. "We could check."
Ari hummed in agreement. He walked up to the broken space, peered in-
"Holy ship."
Ari immediately sprinted back to the door and kicked it. The door's hinges gave way, and they fell on the wood floor with a loud clatter. Tai walked up to Ari, still stuck in the kick, and gave him another look.
"I thought it might be locked," he explained, before pointing ahead, "But you'll have to agree that my urgency…"
In the center of the house, there was a giant, glowing portal, shimmering blue. Standing there was Ann-Gel and the alarm clock, the former spinning around to face the others.
"Tai! Ari! You gotta help them!" She cried out.
"Ann-Gel? What's happening?" Tai asked.
"...Hey, do I know you?" Ari wondered aloud.
Ann-Gel ignored Ari and shouted, "Splin and Sharq! They're gone! They've been gone for…forever!"
AN: I'm a little frustrated with myself. I want to say that the main reason I've been avoiding writing was because I was too busy with work, but I spent most of my free time just…relaxing, mostly.
I think I should make my New Year's resolution to make art and stories more, just for the sake of my enjoyment. …Although, it is pretty selfish…
Huh? Oh shoot, uh, hey everybody! I forgot people still read this story!
Thanks Guest and RealCoolDude (wow, you still read?) for reviewing!
I appreciate that there's still stuff you enjoyed, Guest.
RealCoolDude, thanks for the compliment. I'm glad that someone found some real stuff out of this…frankly ludicrous series of events and I will say I'm surprised that anyone connected with this story, but reviews like this are always appreciated.
And, well, I can't really argue with the bitterness lmao. The fandom and hype around Splatoon isn't what it once was, but I do have a small soft spot somewhere still for these characters and world. Oh, and the official one sometimes.
Thanks for reading. This is ThePizza-LovingTurtle, maybe I'll see you next year? Maybe not.
Happy winter season, stay safe, and enjoy yourselves.