In those days, Princess Mara-El was made regional governor over five countries: Italy, Spain, Southern France, Northern France, Eastern Europe, and Turkey. The countries given to Mara roughly corresponded to the Old Roman Empire. Kara had given Mara this post in preparation for her to rise to become Empress of Earth and eventually the Supreme Leader of the Galactic Federation. Pope Barney was always present to assist her spiritual and political development. Mara generally held court in Rome but would occasionally rotate her court among the capitals of all five countries. In this case, she was present in Madrid during a meeting with Christian clergy.
Pope Barney, Mara, and several cardinals came together to discuss a distressing issue. A painter by the name of Frank Goya was talking mad shit about the Christian clergy through his artwork which was being distributed freely in book shops and street corners. Frank was a talented artist, a favorite of Kara, and had risen to the rank of Major General in the art department. He was generally polite and non-political in speech but would often paint and draw incendiary criticisms of society.
"These drawings are being distributed all over Spain, in Rome, and even as far as Mexico. This is how the world is seeing us. It's fucked up, Holy Father," Cardinal Lucio said displeased.
The drawings in question showed various clergy ranks looking demonic and acting like assholes to suffering civilians. "What's the name of the artist?" Cardinal Marco asked.
"General Frank Goya," Pope Barney answered. "He is the man you commissioned to paint your portrait?" he asked Mara accusingly.
"He is, Your Holiness," Mara replied nonchalantly.
"Why did you choose him?" Pope Barney tested.
"I chose him for the same reason the queen chose him to be her court painter. She considers him the greatest painter in the world," Mara replied calmly.
"Do you find these drawings disturbing?" Pope Barney asked.
"Disturbing? Yes, of course, but they show us the true face of our world," Mara said simply.
"I'm sorry, Princess, what the fuck? How can you say these images represent the face of your world?" Cardinal Lucio asked distressed.
"There is but one world, Your Excellency, and it's neither yours nor mine but God's," Mara replied.
"This man is selling filth and degradation. He must be stopped! He is an agent of the darkest powers. He decorates chapels with angels, but those angels are harlot-models. So, when your mother, the queen, raises her eyes to God, she sees only harlots on the ceiling. Those are whores smiling down upon us from the ceiling!" Cardinal Lucio shouted passionately.
"I assert that General Goya is not selling evil but revealing it to us. One cannot treat the sick unless the symptoms reveal themselves to us. If we destroy these drawings, the evil depicted in them will still not be destroyed. What have we been doing for the last several years? How many heretics have we burned at the stake? Only eight," Mara said.
"Are you suggesting greater severity?" Pope Barney asked.
"Yes, Your Holiness, we must return to the old ways, the God-fearing ways of the past. We must return to the Council of Trent, to the Counter-Reformation, to the Inquisition, to the Discovery Doctrine, to the Conquistadors, and to the Crusades," Mara said passionately.
"You seek to join this new inquisition?" Pope Barney asked.
"Join? No, Your Holiness," Mara shook her head. "I will lead it."
Soon thereafter, Mara got her portrait done by General Goya. Mara was dressed in black robes, her preferred style of dress. Goya painted the Insane princess quickly and slightly nervously. "Am I allowed to say something?" Mara asked rhetorically as there was an intense awkward silence between them.
"Please," Goya choked.
"I know this face," Mara said of one of the paintings of a girl. "I assume she will not be one of your angels in the chapel in Florida."
"Why do you say that?" Goya asked.
"She does not appear to be a harlot," Mara replied.
"Your Majesty is dangerously perceptive," Goya confirmed.
"Do you painters become intimate with your models?" Mara questioned. "It must be very...tempting."
Goya merely chuckled nervously neither confirming nor denying. "Would you like your hands shown in the portrait?" he asked changing the subject.
"I leave that up to you," Mara allowed.
"Hands are more difficult to paint and require more time and resources," Goya warned.
"You will have all you require," Mara replied. Her rank was O-15, the third highest pay grade in the Galactic Federation and she held command over the resource allocations of her nations. "Why did you agree to paint my portrait?"
"Why not?" Goya shrugged.
"You have a reputation for mocking religious people such as myself in your work," Mara pointed out. "Rather harshly, I would say."
"Do I? Didn't notice," Goya said unconcernedly.
"Are you aware of how many powerful enemies you've made?" Mara asked.
"Fortunately, I have a few powerful friends of my own," Goya smiled.
"If you're referring to my parents, let me warn you of this. They're very fickle when it comes to their friends," Mara warned.
Mara went to work to start her new inquisition. "Look at this? One would assume it belongs to a pious man," Mara said holding up a Bible. "But upon further inspection, you see a comic book from the 21st century inside. The doctrines of the darkest principles are these. You must be vigilant. Use your ears, people talk. I want the names of heretics, people spreading diabolical ideas to poison the souls of God-fearing people. Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, thieves, extortioners, drunkards, slanderers, swindlers—none of these will inherit the kingdom of God."
"Identify them, find them, bring their names...to me," Mara ordered. "Your eyes, ears, and minds are the servants of God."
At a popular restaurant, Dona Julia, Alex and Kelly happened to be together. Inquisition officials gave them an odd look as they appeared to be more than just friends. A waiter came over to them to get their order. "The special is Jamón ibérico de bellota," the waiter suggested.
"Just bring out fried chicken," Alex ordered for both of them since she had the higher rank.
The waiter gave them both a WTF look but then walked off. Kelly smiled adoringly. "You know me so well."
The Inquisition officials cocked an eyebrow and wrote their names down. In those days, Kelly Olsen was merely a cadet and her connection to Alex was not public knowledge for obvious reasons which caused a number of confusing mishaps with bureaucrats. Immediately, Kelly was summoned to the inquisition office for questioning. She humored the request and showed up the next day.
Cardinal Lucio was present for the interrogation completely oblivious to Kelly's connection to Kara. He motioned for her to begin the questioning with a prayer. Kelly remained standing and silent as he did. There was an awkward silence between them. "I'm sorry. I pray my way alone," Kelly told him.
"Please, take a seat," Cardinal Lucio offered.
Kelly humored him and sat down. "What did you have for dinner?" Cardinal Lucio demanded.
"Why?" Kelly wondered.
"Please," Cardinal Lucio pressed.
"Fried chicken," Kelly answered.
"And were you offered pork at any point during that evening?" Cardinal Lucio asked.
"Yeah, but I didn't order it. Not my thing," Kelly shook her head.
"Oh, really?" Cardinal Lucio said skeptically.
"It was actually Alex, my wife, who ordered for the both of us," Kelly clarified.
"Well...shit," Cardinal Lucio frowned.
Kelly was immediately "put to the question" with supposedly non-torture methods like loud heavy metal, lights flickering all night, temperature shifts back and forth in her cell, and good old-fashioned waterboarding.
At this time, Mara was not aware Kelly had been arrested. She went to see Goya as she had been notified her portrait was complete. "Your Majesty, come in, this way," Goya invited her into his studio.
Goya then showed her the portrait of a fairly stern-looking Mara. "If I saw this woman on the street, I don't think I would recognize myself in her," Mara critiqued.
"Oh," Goya said nervously.
"One often has a different idea of oneself," Mara allowed.
"You think you might like her?" Goya asked.
"I do like the painting of her," Mara nodded. "Yes, I'm very pleased with it, Frank," she said sincerely. She then noticed an unfinished portrait of Kelly in the studio.
"Who is that woman?" Mara demanded.
"Oh, that's some cadet in the field of psychiatry," Goya said vaguely.
"I wasn't aware a mere cadet could afford your personal attention," Mara pressed.
"Well, apparently, a princess is commissioning it. Has the same pay grade as you," Goya said.
Mara froze at that. "These women are in Madrid?"
That night, Mara tracked down where Alex and Kelly were staying in Madrid and invited herself into the house. "Welcome, Mara. Please come in," Alex invited her in. "I'm sorry Kelly can't dine with us tonight."
"It's better this way," Mara said coldly.
Servants attended to them both as they sat down at the table. A servant then poured Mara a glass of wine while Alex had none. "Most excellent," Mara said of the wine.
"Supposedly, it's aged one thousand years," Alex said.
"So, I assume all of this has something to do with Kelly?" Mara asked obviously.
"Where is she, Mara?" Alex said seriously.
"She's currently detained. She's in fine spirits and sends her love to us all," Mara replied.
"When can I expect her to be released?" Alex asked impatiently.
"Couldn't say. She must stand trial," Mara shrugged.
"For what?" Alex asked.
"She has confessed to being a practicing homosexual, committing incest with her brother's sperm, unmarried fornication, extortion of numerous clients at Obsidian Platinum, drinking alcohol to excess and partaking in illicit substances, and slandering you with the vicious lie that you are undergoing rehabilitation under false pretenses," Mara listed off.
"Some of those charges took place before we came to this time. That's Post Hoc," Alex said going into lawyer mode.
"And those charges may end up dropped at the first hearing," Mara said unconcernedly.
"Did you put her to the question?" Alex demanded.
"Yeah," Mara said nonchalantly.
"That's torture," Alex accused.
"It's being put to the question," Mara downplayed.
"You'd think that kind of treatment would have been abandoned in the 31st century," Alex glared.
"Yes, well, in these troubled times, I'm bringing it back," Mara replied without emotion.
"Those confessions are not reliable," Alex argued.
"But if the confession collaborates with other evidence, they're still valuable, as you well know in your previous profession," Mara said knowingly.
"I never tortured anyone," Alex denied.
"Most certainly J'onn J'onzz did with you as a witness. Did you not stand by while my great-aunt was tortured? Or what of the White Martians that were tortured by J'onn and my mother?" Mara pointed out.
"You think someone can bear torture simply because they have faith?" Alex asked incredulously.
"That is the faith," Mara confirmed.
"If I was tortured, I would confess to anything. I would confess that I'm straight," Alex said.
Mara looked away uncomfortably. "If you have faith, you will not confess. As the scriptures say, there hath no temptation taken hold of you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful; He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond that which ye are able to bear, but with the temptation will also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."
"I see," Alex nodded and then used a remote to lock the doors.
Mara eyed the locking of the doors unconcernedly. "Aunt Alexandra, I have assessed the situation and I'm leaving."
"No, you're not," Alex said as Mara tried to leave. Suddenly, Mara fell to the floor sickened and poisoned by Kryptonite in the wine. "You're going to confess that you're a bastard. That you're actually a monkey pretending to be a princess," she said placing a datapad next to her.
Mara winced in pain as the Kryptonite in her stomach was infecting her insides. She went to her watch to call for help. "I jammed the signal. We're alone. Now, sign it," Alex ordered.
Mara refused. Alex took hold of Mara and slammed her against the table. "Sign it," she pressed. Again, Mara refused. Alex then placed a cable around Mara's chest and under her arms. She threw the cable over a ledge on the ceiling and then pulled. Mara was pulled off the floor by the cable, immediately dislocating her shoulders. She screamed in pain until Alex put a gag in her mouth.
Alex waited patiently until Mara finally nodded. She brought Mara down and pressed her to sign the document which was then emailed away. "Alright, you're free to go," Alex said to her.
London
The next day, Kara was made aware of Mara's confession. "What the fuck?" she chuckled.
"I want Kelly released...now," Alex demanded via hologram.
"If I pardon her, it's a matter of public record. Just let it go through the system. I'll have the judge dismiss all charges," Kara assured her. "The signature is legit. How did you get Mara to confess to something this ridiculous?"
"I tortured her...in the old style," Alex replied.
Kara stopped smiling and then took Alex seriously. "Where is she now?"
"I don't know," Alex said honestly.
Kara touched her badge. "Barney, where is Mara? I want to see her now."
"She's left the country and I am unable to track her movements," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Shit," Kara realized. "Barney, I want her found immediately."
Madrid
With Mara gone, Kara took direct control over the region. "The inquisition is over and all prisoners are to be freed," she ordered. Kelly was immediately reunited with Alex. Kara then addressed the Spanish government personally. "I have come to serve the ideas of the American Revolution," Kara said to the cheering crowds.
"My eyes are open to your plight. Your rights under the Constitution are logical, just, and universal. All men are born free. All men possess the same rights. You have the freedom of speech, the freedom of assembly, the freedom to petition grievances against the government, and religious freedom to believe or not believe in any God you choose," Kara declared.
In response, Pope Barney in consultation with global cardinals made his declaration on the subject. "This shameful font of indifferentism gives rise to that absurd and erroneous proposition which claims that liberty of conscience must be maintained for everyone. It spreads ruin in sacred and civil affairs, though some repeat over and over again with the greatest impudence that some advantage accrues to religion from it. But the death of the soul is worse than freedom of error," he declared.
"From what has been said it follows that it is quite unlawful to demand, to defend, or to grant unconditional freedom of thought, of speech, or writing, or of worship as if these were so many rights given by nature to man. For, if nature had really granted them, it would be lawful to refuse obedience to God, and there would be no restraint on human liberty. It likewise follows that freedom in these things may be tolerated wherever there is just cause, but only with such moderation as will prevent its degenerating into license and excess. And, where such liberties are in use, men should employ them in doing good, and should estimate them as the Church does; for liberty is to be regarded as legitimate in so far only as it affords greater facility for doing good, but no farther," Pope Barney concluded.
The world was in an uproar with these two competing philosophies between queen and pope.
As the debate raged and civil war seemed imminent, Alex and Kelly had a chat about it. "For what she did, I can't ever forgive her," Alex shook her head.
"But you must," Kelly insisted.
"Kelly, she threw you into jail for eating fried chicken," Alex pointed out.
"I know it was wrong and that she's misguided, but she is your niece," Kelly reminded her.
"I'm so tired of this bullshit. None of Kara's family members are related to either of us by blood," Alex said.
"Since when does blood matter?" Kelly asked incredulously.
"What's the difference between us and random people on the street then?" Alex asked.
"If I can forgive her, you can, too," Kelly said condescendingly.
"Kelly, I don't think we can survive in this time with that kind of attitude," Alex said worriedly.
South Pacific Ocean
On an uninhabited island, Mara was on her knees in silent prayer. The rocks and pebbles around her shook and rose into the air from her focus. Mon suddenly teleported near her position. "I'm ending all of this. I'm going to burn the church down," she said tearfully.
Mon rolled his eyes but kept his composure. "Time for you to look past a bunch of old books?"
"I was weak, unwise," Mara admitted.
"Yeah, you're a real fuck-up," Mon mocked.
"I can't be what you all want me to be," Mara said.
"Do you even listen to what I say to you?" Mon asked disappointedly. "Strength, mastery, but weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. Failure is the greatest teacher."
"I cannot fail," Mara replied with a haunted look.
"You've been pushing yourself real hard with this religious crap," Mon allowed.
"That may be true. I've pushed myself to the edge of my limits and beyond, but no amount of effort is enough to close the gap. It became painfully obvious to me when I started this inquisition, all the people I was able to net within such a short amount of time. Imagine my shock that no matter how much I tried, I could never save them all," Mara said somberly.
"A little pricey, don't you think?" Mon asked her.
"The ends more than justify the means," Mara insisted. "But over the years, I became more like you. I had settled with moral mediocrity. For a moment there, I forgot that Earth was a hellhole. It felt good for a while. But then I realized how important Barney was to me."
"What can he do that I can't?" Mon asked offended.
"He can return me to the way I was before!" Mara shouted as her hair flashed to blond, her eyes went blue, and a roaring golden flame appeared around her. The island shook, and the sky lit up in a rapid lightning storm. Mara tensed up as she flared her rage to a new level of power. Lightning from the sky connected with her continuously. Mon stood his ground as dust debris hit him in waves.
Static electricity flashed around Mara's frame as she reached Super Insane 2 for the first time. She turned to Mon with a crazed expression on her face. In her rage, she felt an intense desire to kill him for his heresy. She raised her hand at him, and a sphere of energy appeared on her palm. Mon merely stared her down still in his base form.
"Mara, I was a warrior elite. In my fingertips, I controlled the power to destroy entire worlds. I am an Insane with royal blood and on my shoulders was my entire race. Whole civilizations tremble at the sound of my name. Yet, your mother, with her common hands, defeated me repeatedly. She humiliated me and destroyed my pride. I hated everything and everyone around me for a long time. But hate, envy, and misery are not the way," Mon told her.
Mara powered down and embraced him as she sobbed. "I feel so sad, so lonely, so miserable. I'm in pain."
Mon couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "Come with me."
Madrid
Mara sat across from Kelly in an awkward therapy session between them. "So...how is this supposed to work?" Mara asked.
"We sit, we talk," Kelly said obviously.
"About what?" Mara asked impatiently.
"Whatever you want," Kelly allowed.
"You want me to whine about my mother?" Mara mocked.
"Do you want to whine about your mother?" Kelly questioned.
"There was a time when my goldfish died when I was five," Mara recalled.
"Sounds traumatic," Kelly allowed.
"Due to my accelerated growth, I had the development of a thirteen-year-old at the time," Mara clarified.
"Appearances can be deceptive," Kelly downplayed.
"I've had a thousand things happen to me in my life. How am I supposed to know what's relevant?" Mara asked annoyed.
"As far as I am concerned, they're all relevant," Kelly told her.
"We could be here for a while," Mara said dryly.
"Yes, you are the sum of all of your experiences and some events are more relevant than others but the only way to know which events are most important is to talk," Kelly said. "So, what's on your mind?"
"I'm miserable," Mara admitted. "I want to be happy."
"An excellent goal," Kelly nodded. "Why are you miserable?"
"In my life, I have experienced visions, flashes, and voices of the divine. These experiences are consistent with my already existing faith. I have millions of subjects under me and every day thousands of them die, generally to natural causes, some to unnatural causes. Many of these people die unsaved. They lacked the faith or committed mortal sins. Their destination is an eternity in hell," Mara said. "Can you imagine an eternity in pain?"
"No," Kelly said sympathetically.
"The reality of hell, the fact that my subjects are continually falling into the lake of fire, and my own salvation continually at risk haunt me. And I know all of this is true, not just some convenient belief," Mara said freaked out.
"Because of your visions," Kelly said delicately.
"How can anyone be happy under such knowledge? How can any ruler stand it?" Mara asked dumbfounded.
"Your mother seems to get along just fine with it," Kelly pointed out.
"My mother has a way of compartmentalizing her thoughts. It was a skill I never learned. Paradoxically, my pain, my anxiety, and my misery are what fuel my power. It is through trauma and rage that the Insane reach higher levels of power," Mara explained.
"When you had me arrested...were you concerned for my soul?" Kelly asked.
"Not particularly," Mara admitted.
"So...why the fuss?" Kelly asked incredulously.
"You and Aunt Alex represent a threat to my sense of order. Your actions, and your lifestyle, could lead others astray. More than that, you've created a contradiction in my mind that I cannot process completely," Mara said.
"What contradiction?" Kelly asked.
"You are living in sin, mortal sin, and yet, you're capable of firm sincere belief in God, in the Christian faith. You do good works, and you generally follow all other areas of the law. You are even considered a hero to some. You're capable of honest love toward others and you appear to be generally happy with your existence. How is this possible?" Mara wondered.
"Perhaps, the sin you think Alex and I are committing is not as serious as you think it is," Kelly suggested. "Above all, maintain the fervor of your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins."
"One Peter chapter four verse eight," Mara recalled.
"There you go," Kelly said brightly.
"Yeah, maybe," Mara doubted.
"You know, in my faith tradition, once you give yourself to Christ, you're saved for all eternity. Your mother believes the same thing," Kelly suggested.
"I wish that were the case, but I believe you're wrong," Mara replied.
"Many people in my field would try to convert you away from what you believe. I'm not like those others. I just want to help you manage your life with your current beliefs. How can we make Mara, the inquisitor, happy?" Kelly asked.
"So long as one of my citizens is damned or in danger of damnation, I can never be happy," Mara replied.
"You have to let go, Mara. You have to let God handle it," Kelly said gently. "These feelings of needing to be in control of all of your people all the time will destroy you. I mean, what about your own salvation?"
"What about it?" Mara stared her down.
"What good is saving the world if you can't save your own soul?" Kelly asked. "I've had sessions with a lot of corrupt cops that end up in prison with the same people they arrested."
"My mother doesn't care about a great many things. My father cares even less. My brother...," Mara trailed off. "I can't be like them."
"What if the very fact that they don't give a shit gets better results than you?" Kelly challenged.
"How?" Mara wondered.
"Because they delegate to someone else. But they're not delegating this heavy task to you. They're delegating it to Barney," Kelly pointed out.
"The Holy Father needs my help," Mara insisted.
"Does he?" Kelly challenged.
Mara looked flustered at that. "I feel a sense of satisfaction when I break a prisoner and get them to confess their sins and reconcile themselves to God. The violence and the suffering attract me. It's the same attraction the Insane have when it comes to battle. In my mind, I have reconciled my Kryptonian desire for intellectual purity with my Insane desire for death and destruction."
"There could be a middle way here," Kelly said delicately.
"What way would that be?" Mara asked.
"The human way," Kelly replied.
Mara came before Pope Barney alone in a large cathedral. She knelt before him and kissed his ring. "Why do you come to me at this hour, child?" Pope Barney asked.
"I can no longer continue the inquisition. I am no longer...nor was I ever...a cheerful giver of justice," Mara admitted.
"I see," Pope Barney replied.
"I must take a leave of absence to find my cheerfulness," Mara explained.
"To everything, there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to count as lost, a time to keep and a time to discard, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace," Pope Barney replied.
"Amen," Mara agreed.
"When you are ready to come back, the Church and the Inquisition will be here waiting for you," Pope Barney assured her.