Title: Phone Calls Among Billionaire Superheroes III

Summary: Because sometimes you need to talk to your Gothamite buddy about the bat-thing roaming the gloomy streets of his city, or ask why in god's name is your friend flying around California's sunny sky in a red and gold tin can. Or, a collection of short phone calls/scenes set somewhere in the movies.

Warnings: None.

Notes: Iron Man Part 1.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Dark Knight Trilogy, Iron Man, any of its characters. Sadly.

OoOoO

"Hey, Bats! Long time no speak." The floor was hard and cold, but Tony didn't care. He closed his eyes and leaned against the couch, the phone held to his ear and a bottle of scotch and tumbler by his side. "I hope Gotham's underground is treating you better than it did the last time we spoke."

"I'm fine, Tony," Bruce said, answering the unspoken question as he rested a hand over his still tender ribs. He wasn't going to let Tony distract him with that. "Pepper told me they finally let you go home."

"Yeah. Seems like escaping from some god-forsaken cave in the middle of nowhere after three months of captivity it's a pretty damn big deal. Who would have thought, right?" Tony asked dryly. He paused to take a sip of his drink. "You wouldn't believe how many times I've had to tell them what happened. Hell, I don't even know where the hell they got so many people for me to talk to."

Bruce stared at the stack of papers on the glossy wooden table before him. The sheets on top held Tony's official statement, which he had gotten from the government's servers hours ago. It wasn't the full statement, it was too early for the full transcription to have been fully uploaded. The full recordings had been there, but Bruce refused to touch them. It didn't matter what was in them, he knew it wasn't the whole story.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of Tony's voice in his ear.

"You know, I'm thinking about recording a tape or something like that so I can hand them out like candies wherever I go. It might be handy. That way I wouldn't have to tell the same damn story over and over again, or keep hearing the same fucking questions." Behind the annoyance, Tony sounded tired, his voice slightly hoarse. "So, if that's why you called, Brucie-bear, I'll be sure to send you one as soon as I get them ready."

Bruce remained silent for a moment. "I saw your press conference," he finally commented, his tone neutral.

Tony snorted, fingers wrapped tightly around his tumbler. "I bet you did. There is not a single businessman or government lackey who hasn't seen it by now. I heard there's even a pretty damn good parody on YouTube already. Haven't seen it yet, though."

"You mean it." It wasn't a question.

"It's funny, isn't it? Seems good ol' Daddy Wayne had the right idea all along, after all."

Bruce scrubbed a hand across his face and said nothing. There was nothing to say. All he had ever done was follow his father's ideals and example, just like Tony had. It wasn't Tony's fault the path his father took wasn't the right one.

"So. Is this the part where you tell me I should have done that years ago instead of waiting until I was almost killed by my own damn weapons, Brucie-bear?"

Bruce held back a sigh. "You'll have to look elsewhere if you're waiting for someone to tell you how this was all your fault, Tony. I can tell you right now I have no plans to do that."

Tony squeezed his eyes shut, downing the last of his scotch in one swig.

"When I spoke with Pepper she told me you're holed up at home and wouldn't let her or anyone else in." Bruce waited to see if Tony said anything, but the line stayed silent. "You know if I want to I can find a way to get in, so I hope you'll save us both the trouble and don't even try to keep me out."

Tony blinked, pausing in his attempt to refill his tumbler. "You're here?"

"Not yet, but I will be soon enough. Twenty minutes tops," Bruce added as he looked through the jet's window. "And don't worry, Pepper already made arrangements so Happy will be picking me up," he added, trying for a lighter tone.

"Really Wayne? You couldn't even get your own driver instead of blatantly stealing my own?"

"I didn't steal him," Bruce countered. "Miss Potts kindly offered his services since you obviously aren't using them at the moment, and I said yes."

Of course she had, Tony thought, rolling his eyes. For some reason he couldn't understand Pepper liked Bruce. He was almost sure she saw him as a good influence for him or something equally ridiculous. He would have laughed if it wasn't so damn annoying. Really, who could think that the guy that dressed up as a bat to go out at night to beat the bad guys was a good influence? Yeah, no. Brucie was not a very sane person for a role model.

"Did she, really? I-"

"Sorry, Tony. We're about to land, so I need to hang up now," Bruce cut him off, not sounding apologetic at all. "You can tell me whatever you want once I arrive. See you then."

Tony was left with the phone held to his ear for a couple of minutes as the dial tone sounded. Then, he put it down and reached for the bottle again, pouring more scotch into his tumbler.

"JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir?" The AI answered promptly.

"Brucie is going to be here in a bit. Be a dear and let him in, would you? But only if he's alone," He added after a pause. There was only so much he could deal with at the moment.

"Of course, Mr. Stark."

Tony sighed before bringing the tumbler to his lips again. He was going to need it.

OoOoO

a/n: Thank you to anyone still reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy this collection!