Title: Phone Calls Among Billionaire Superheroes IV.

Summary: Because sometimes you need to talk to your Gothamite buddy about the bat-thing roaming the gloomy streets of his city, or ask why in god's name is your friend flying around California's sunny sky in a red and gold tin can. Or, a collection of short phone calls/scenes set somewhere in the movies.

Warnings: None.

Notes: Iron Man Part 2.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Dark Knight Trilogy, Iron Man, any of its characters. Sadly.

OoOoO

"What the hell were you thinking, Tony?" Bruce asked as soon as the call connected. He was pacing around his office because of course, he was stuck at Wayne Enterprises when it happened.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down a bit Brucie-bear. No 'hello, Tony, buddy, how are you?' Poor Alfie would be appealed by your lack of manners. I'm very disappointed too, Mr. Wayne." Tony added as he leaned against the leather seat of his Audi, the only safe place he could use to hid and get away from everything. Or almost everything.

Bruce stood in the middle of the office and covered his eyes with a hand. "What the hell was that, Tony?"

Tony decided to play oblivious. "You're going to have to be more specific than that. I get that question a lot and about a bunch of different things."

"I don't know, Tony," Bruce said, exasperation clear in his tone. "Have you done anything more idiotic than reveal to the world you're Iron Man in the last thirty minutes since your little press conference ended?"

"Ooh, you want to talk about the press conference. Great! Let's talk about that."

"Tony..." Bruce trailed off. He tilted back his head and stared heaven-wise, mentally counting to ten before continuing. "I thought you said you had a plan."

"Oh, and I did. I had a very nice cover story and an airtight alibi with dozens of sworn statements. All of it courtesy of the guy from that agency, secret organization, or whatever-the-fuck-it's-supposed-to-be group with the too-long-name I don't care to remember. I did tell you about him, didn't I?" Tony added as an afterthought.

"Agent Coulson from the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division."

"Huh. You remember all that, do you?"

"I looked him up after you mentioned him. That's not important right now. What happened, Tony?"

"Oh, nothing. It was all a spur of the moment thing, really." Tony waved his hand dismissively, even though he knew Bruce couldn't see him. "There I was, about to say my bodyguard was the guy in the flying suit and then I thought; If I'm going be flying all over the world putting my life on the line to save random people and stop the bad guys, I should damn well get the credit for it.

"Really, people aren't stupid- most of them anyway, so why not save myself the trouble of waiting for the truth to come out and just say it? Besides, being recognized as a real-life superhero will make my stocks rebound like whoa. It's a win-win."

"Do you seriously think I'm going to believe all that crap?" Bruce dropped into his chair, spinning it around so he could look through the window. "Okay, fine. I know why you did it, I shouldn't have asked. But do you have any idea what kind of consequences what you just did could bring?"

Tony slid down in his comfy seat, reaching up to loosen the knot of his tie. "Relax, Brucie. This isn't like you and Batsy."

"No, it's not. For one thing, I doubt the government is going to let you keep using what basically equals a jet fighter. They're going to act fast and wouldn't stop until they get their hands on your suit, or find a way to create their own little army. With or without your consent."

"I've thought about that already. Don't you worry your pretty little head about that, Brucie-bear. I know how to handle our oh-so-wonderful and democratic government."

"And what about the people you're going after, Tony? They're dangerous, and now they know who you are."

Tony held back a sight. He was already regretting answering the call. "I'm fucking Iron Man, I can take care of myself."

"So do I, but I don't hide behind a mask because I'm afraid every thug or criminal organization I've targeted is going to come after me. I do it to protect the people I care about." Bruce made a pause. Shouting at Tony wasn't going to help anything. "You say you can defend yourself against them? Fine. But what about Pepper? What about Rhodey and Happy? Do you really think the people you will be dealing with are going to be above using them to get to you?"

Tony opened his mouth to speak but had to close it again when no words came out. That was a part he hadn't considered before- but like hell was he going to admit that.

"Well, Pepper is Pepper. You know how badass she is. No one is going to be stupid enough to mess with her so, there's that. Rhodey is a fucking Air Force officer, so no problem there either. He's a big boy. And Happy is just my driver, no reason to target him. See? Everything is alright. You're just too paranoid, Bats."

"I hope you're right, Tony."

"I am. You'll see," Tony dismissed easily. "Also, I noticed you didn't add your name to the list, Brucie."

Bruce snorted, the corner of his lips curling upward despite himself. "Having a target on my back is nothing new for me, and I can take care of myself with or without the suit- something you should consider after your announcement. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to take some self-defense classes since you can't carry your suit around everywhere you go."

Tony actually grinned at that. "I just knew you were going to bring up that little inconvenience. But the classes are unnecessary because I'm already working on a solution for that. Then again, no way I'm gonna say no if Gotham's very own Dark Knight is offering to train me."

"And how do you think that would work, exactly? With you in Malibu and me in Gotham. Real training doesn't work with you imitating a few 'cool' moves I teach you via Skype, Tony."

"Really? Because that sounds exactly like the kind of training I would like to try. Let's do that," Tony said enthusiastically. "We can compare notes when I visit you in Gotham or when some crazy Arab guy with a messiah complex isn't trying to wipe your city off the map and you deign to grace me with your presence over here."

Bruce hummed noncommittal. "I'm sure you will be happy to know the press has been calling the Manor and the company's PR department since your press conference ended."

"They have, haven't they?"

"Apparently they want to know Bruce Wayne's reaction to having a 'superhero' friend."

"Oh. Oh! Isn't that something? Please don't tell me you don't find the irony of this hilarious because that would be oh-so sad." Tony didn't give him time to answer. He was going to milk this for all it was worth. "So. Are you planning to give a moving, heartfelt speech about how brave and noble I am, and how I'm your hero and all that jazz?"

"In your dreams, Stark."

"Oh, in my dream you do more than just give me a flattering speech, Brucie-dearest," Tony replied in a sultry whisper.

Bruce rolled his eyes and ignored that. He was too used to Tony's antics by now.

"You know, I'm totally telling Pepper she doesn't need to waste her breath berating me for outing myself because you already took care of that."

"If Miss Potts is still working for you after this mess, that is," Bruce pointed out. Honestly, the fact she hadn't quit long before now surprised sometimes. "You just made her job a hundred times harder with all this."

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, Brucie-bear. I made her job a bit more interesting, that's all. But I guess it would be a good idea to give her something to show I appreciate all her hard work," He added after a moment's thought. "What do you think? Should I buy her a new car or a house?"

"The last thing she needs right now are rumors that you two are dating, believe me," Bruce hurried to point out. "I think at least a week of vacations or a few weeks of you on your best behavior once things calm down a little will be the best gift you can give her.

"Hold on a second," Bruce added before Tony could reply. "What is it, Susan?"

His secretary offered him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne, but Mr. Fox is here for your meeting."

"Right. Thank you, Susan. Please send him in." Bruce waited until the woman left the office to turn back to his call. "I need to go. Just- take care of yourself, okay?"

Tony pointedly ignored that. "Say hi to Lucius for me, and tell him my offer still stands. I bet he wouldn't be able to resist working for a superhero."

"I will, if you tell Miss Potts my offer still stands too."

"Please," Tony scoffed after a moment of silence. "As if she would leave the excitement of Malibu to go to Gotham of all places."

Bruce hummed. "Right. Bye, Tony.

Only time would tell if this decision was going to come back to haunt Tony later. Bruce sighed, hoping against hope that it wouldn't.

OoOoO

a/n: This one actually ended up quite a bit longer than the rest. Let's just say Bruce had a lot to say about Tony's secret identity fail. 😜

Thank you to anyone still reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy this collection!