The Loud House: A Band of Campers (Rewrite)

by Yaakov Lubin

Out in the woods, Luna Loud, her band members, and her cousin Shane are camping for an entire weekend by themselves. Not to worry, they have prepared themselves for everything that the wild would throw out at them. But they didn't account for one factor though... overprotective parents.

The Loud House:

A Band of Campers

A Fanfiction Story by Yaakov Lubin

Disclaimer: I am not the writer for The Loud House. All rights belong to Nickelodeon.

On a camping ground next door to Camp Mastodon located on Michigan's western coast. Luna Loud and her band, the Moon-Goats, are setting up camp for their very first weekend getaway together. With Shane Loud, Luna's cousin joining along for the ride.

Sully (Hammering in a stake): "Are you sure that your cuz doesn't snore, Lunes? We'll be bunking in the same tent together after all."

Luna (With a smile): "I'm sure…Knowing old Shaney, he'll probably just whistle a little tune in his sleep."

As Luna is setting a box down on the ground, Sam sneaks up behind her, right before playfully covering her girlfriend's eyes with her hands.

Sam (In a sing-song-voice): "Guess who…"

Luna: "Hey! No Fair! You caught me off guard that time."

Speaking of Shane, here he comes now, driven by his Dad, Lance Loud in his pick-up truck. After parking a few feet from the campsite, the two get out to say their goodbyes. Well…

Lance (With worry): "Now, are you sure you have everything? Bug spray, bear repellent, your memory foam sleeping bag…"

Shane: "Dad! You have already asked me on the way here. And before we left the house…twice!"

After taking a deep breath, Lane puts a hand on his son's shoulder with a little smile on his face.

Lance: "Sorry son…I just want to make sure you have everything you need."

Shane (With concern): "Are you sure Dad? Ever since you and Uncle Lynn reconnected back at Christmas time, you have been more...emotionally attached to us kids. You were literally crying your eyes out when Shelby and Shiloh told you and Mom that they wanted to join an after-school program."

Lance: "What?! Can't a dad just be proud of his kids for wanting to spend more time with their friends...and not with their old man..."

As Lance goes on, tears start to form in his eyes.

Lance: "And before I know it, my little Shelby will be off to middle school. Or when my little daredevil Shiloh, will be joining the football team in high school."

With a comforting smile, Shane wraps his arms around his father, giving him a hug.

Shane: "Dad...no matter how old we get…Or where we'll end up in the future… you are always going to be our dad. And we are never going to abandon you. Just like you'll never abandon us…"

Lance hugs his son back while giving a shaky smile.

Lance: "Because you'll always be my kids."

They soon break up the hug. Allowing Shane to gather his stuff from the back of the truck. This also gives Lance the chance to take a deep breath and wipe the tears from his eyes with his sweatshirt sleeve.

Lance: "Okay…It's time for you to gain some independence."

Shane: "And it's not like I'm camping alone. I'll be with Luna and her band. And Gramps is stationed up the hill at Camp Mastodon. So, we can just give him a call, if we need anything."

Just then, Luna is calling from the campsite, singling with her hands for her cousin to come over. Without any hesitation, Shane makes his way down. All while waving goodbye to his father.

Shane: "Well, I guess that's my cue. See you on Monday when you pick me up, Dad."

Lance: "Yeah…" (Slowly waves): "Bye son, have fun…" (With a frown, while whispering): "And be safe."

However, after getting back into the truck and starting to drive off, an idea pops into Lance's mind. With one hand on the wheel, he turns the truck in the direction towards Camp Mastodon, while using his other hand to scratch his chin with a smirk on his face.

After parking the car, Lance is looking around the camp. But before he can call out for his father, a rustling sound can be heard. Lance soon finds where the sound is coming from, as he is now approaching a bush right beside one of the cabins.

Lance: "Dad? Dad! I came to see you before heading home. How'd you been old timer?"

However, it's not Leonard Loud, Lance's father, who is crawling around in the bush. But a cute, medium-sized, gray dog, probably only a year or two old, bearing a purple collar. Who jumps out of the bush and runs up to a very surprised Lance, trying to give him kisses, all while her tail is wagging happily.

Lance: "Hey there girl!"

He says with a smile, as he bends down on one knee to give the dog head pets.

Lance: "Did my dad adopt you? Make sense, it can get pretty lonely for someone to live in a big empty camp like this one just by themselves. Well…"

Much to the dog's sadness, Lance gets up from the ground and makes his way into one of the cabins.

Lance: "I guess I'll just have to see Dad later. I have a mission to start."

But as soon as the word mission reached the pup's ears. She put her nose near the ground and started to track. Back with Lance in the cabin, we see him guiding his hands across the wall looking for something.

Lance: "It should still be …" (Finds a teeny hole in the wall): "It is!"

After inserting his pinky figure in the hole, Lance raises it up. And with the sound of a click, the way starts to open. Showing that part of the wall is a secret door and once it's fully open a secret room is revealed.

Lance (Shocked): "Lynn?!"

Lynn Sr. (Turns away from an open window and telescope): "Lance?!"

Lance and Lynn Sr.: "What are you doing here?!"

The two brothers said in sync as they collided with each other for a hug. Meanwhile, down the hill, Luna is going over a checklist with her group.

Luna: "Tents set up."

Shane and Sully (Standing by the tents): "Check."

Luna: "All the food tied up high on a branch."

Sam (Sitting high on top of a tree branch): "Check!"

She tugs on the rope that is holding up all the food that is being stored in a cooler high off the ground.

Sam: "Not even an adorable little bear cub can cut through this knot."

Luna: "Fire pit built along with the seats set around it."

Mazzy (Setting up the last fold-up chair): "Check and double-check!"

While they're doing this, Lance and Lynn Sr. are watching them from their secret hideout via the telescope that the latter has brought with him.

Lance: "Geeze Lynn, this not a very good telescope you brought. I can barely see what the kids are doing through it."

Lynn Sr.: "It's only one I could find on such short notice."

Lynn Sr. starts to look around the room for either another telescope or a pair of binoculars. Much to his brother's annoyance.

Lance: "Lynn…no one knew that our secret summer hideout was even here for years. Not even Dad knew about it. And he spent hours looking for us whenever Mr. Rinsler wanted each camper to go through his homemade dirt maze."

Lynn Sr. (Shivers in response): "I'm so glad he stopped doing that before retiring. Each maze got dustier year after year."

Back at the campsite, after putting the checklist away. Our band of campers put on their hiking bags, each grabbing their water bottles, or canines for Luna and Sam's case. And off they go on a hike through the forest. With Sully leading the way, Sam and Mazzy behind him, and Luna and Shane are in the back, giving the cousins a chance to catch up.

Shane: "So, your dad almost burst out into tears when he dropped you off like mine did?"

Luna (Annoyed): "More like almost started a new river as soon as I set foot out of Vanzilla. I'm telling you Cuz, ever since Lori left for college, Popstar has been attached to me and my sibs more than ever. Not even poor little Lily can go to the park without Officer Coddle and Smother making sure she is wearing double knee and elbow pads."

Shane (With a raised brow): "Double..."

Luna: "She fell and got a scrape on her elbow a few weeks ago."

After taking a deep breath, a smile develops on Shane's face.

Shane: "Well, at least our Dads are giving us a chance to do something on our own. That shows a new level of trust when I think of it."

Luna (Develops a smile of her own): "At least it's better than Dad pacing back and forth worrying about every single thing I do."

Lynn Sr. was actually doing that, worrying what horrible things could pop out of the trees and bushes to attack his little rocker, if she's not careful. Right before his foot got caught in a hole in the floorboard, causing him to trip and fall flat on his face.

Lynn Sr. (Lifts his head): "We need to get these floorboards replaced."

Lance: "Wait Lynn…"

He gets down on one knee next to an opening left behind by the floorboard that Lynn Sr. tripped on lifting it up.

Lance: "I think you opened a secret compartment."

And how right Lance is, as he takes out a metal case from the open floor, with a title plate on top that says in big capital letters: THE ALL-SEEING EYE.

Lance and Lynn Sr.: "Gasp!"

The two Loud Brothers couldn't believe their eyes, inside the metal case was an orange Irise glass snake eye with purple lines around the pupil. But what is most shocking of all is what the two can see inside the pupil: Shane, Luna, and the Moon-Goats going on their hike. How is this possible? Well, let's leave the explanation to Lynn Sr. and Lance, who start to read the description plate on the inner top of the case.

Lynn Sr.: "The All-Seeing-Eye…this little marble can show its users any event. Past, present, future, and anywhere in the universe."

Lance: "However...it can only show you glimpses of these events. It's up to YOU to decide what to do with the information you are given."

Lynn (With a big smile): "This is the answer to our problem, Lance. With the All-Seeing-Eye we can keep a close…" (Winks): "…eye…on our kids, no matter where in the woods they'll go."

Lance is not sure of this though. But before he could say anything, another image appeared in the eye: Sam was about to eat a berry from a wild berry bush while the rest of the Moon-Goats and Shane watched. This causes the brothers to panickedly run out of their secret summer hide-out to secretly save the kids from being food poisoned. Speaking of which, the kids soon reached the wild berry bush and Mazzy is immediately intrigued by them.

Mazzy (About to pick one): "Ooo…These berries are a nice shade of red."

Sully: "Hold on Mazzy."

He takes out and starts to look through a book.

Sully: "My old wilderness survival guide should tell us what kind of berries these are. And if they are safe to eat or not."

However, something crashed into a nearby bush getting the attention of the group. When they turn back to the berries, they are surprised to see that they have changed color from red to blue.

Sam: "They look like Blueberries…Smells like a blueberry"

Sam says as she picks a berry and gives it a sniff right before she plops it in her mouth.

Luna: "Sam, no!"

Sam (Swallows): "Gulp! They are blueberries."

Sully (With a raised brow): "But my guide says there supposed to be poisonous throne berries on this bush." (Turns the page): "And blueberries don't grow in this part of the woods."

But Mazzy doesn't seem to care as she grabs her friend's hand and guides him further into the woods with Sam, Luna, and Shane slowly following. Inside the bush, Lance and Lynn Sr. are wiping the throne berries away from them before clumsily climbing out with an empty blueberry container and a roll of tape. The next stop on the hike is the river that leads up to the lake at Camp Mastodon.

Luna (Dips her foot in the water): "Looks like we're going to have to barefoot it across dudes. Unless some of you brought your galoshes with you, I sure didn't."

However, as Sam and Sully take off and start to look through their backpacks, a tree from behind falls down, creating a bridge between the two sides of the river. Allowing the group with their arms to stretch out for balance to slowly walk across.

Shane: "Wait…isn't that a beehive?!"

He points to said beehive that is halfway submerged in the water, while barely still attached to the tree via a branch.

Sam (With a smile): "Don't worry, most of the bees should have evacuated from the hive before the tree hit the water."

Mazzy (With a frown): "Poor little dudes…they must be pretty upset to lose their home."

More like furious Mazzy…very furious actually, as the tree was cut down by Lance with an axe that he had in the back of his truck. Now he and Lynn Sr. are being chased by an angry unforgiving swarm of bees.

Lynn Sr.: "Next…huff…time if you cut a tree… PLEASE…make sure nothing lives in it."

Lance: "What I was supposed to do? The kids were about to cross a river without protection."

The bees don't seem to care though, as they direct their stringers toward the two, ready to give them the stinging of a lifetime, with the leader of the swarm getting closer and closer with each wing flap. Lucky for the brothers, they were able to give the bees the slip as they jumped into the river.

Lynn Sr.: "Okay…what's next?"

After spewing out some water, Lynn Sr. takes out the All-Seeing-Eye from his wet pants pocket with Lance back-stroking next to him to see what they have to do next. And the brothers couldn't believe their eyes.

Lance and Lynn: "Gasp!"

In the middle of the woods surrounded by many bushes and very tall trees with their backs against one another shivering in fear. The group of teens are scared, while something is rustling through the bushes and trees around them. The two brothers quickly swam out of the river. Then start making their way to the nearest wilderness supplies store. Unfortunately for them, the leader of the bee swarm spots the two and singles to her fellow bees to continue their vengeful pursuit.

Lynn Sr. and Lance (Running as fast as they can): "Ahhh…"

After finally escaping the bees a second time, and a quick trip to the store. Lynn Sr. and Lance split up to set up different kinds of traps from snares to pop-up cages around the area, where their kids and friends would be up against each other scared for their lives.

Lynn Sr.: "There they are!"

Lynn Sr. whispers as he spots the group through a pair of binoculars while sitting on a branch high up the tree. He then takes out his phone to give his brother a call.

Lynn Sr.: "Lance, are all your traps set up?"

Lance (Chilling against a tree): "They sure are good-buddy. With these bad boys, we'll get whatever nasty thing is out there before they get our ki…"

However, Lance is interrupted by a very loud clanking sound with a long sad howling shortly after.

Lance and Lynn Sr.: "We got 'em!"

After hanging up the call, the two brothers meet up at the trap where they figure the animal is trapped. Unfortunately, it's not a coyote or wolf they were expecting but…

Lynn Sr. and Lance: "Dad's new dog!?"

That's right. And to make matters worse one of the poor pup's paws is pinned between two bars that are supposed to be clamped down to make a corner of the cage she is in. With each tug the dog made, attempting to free her paw, she whines with pain.

? " I knew it!"

Turning around, Lynn Sr. and Lance are speechless to see that Shane, Luna, and her bandmates have found them. With Luna looking at the two furiously, Shane couldn't believe it, while Sam, Mazzy, and Sully went over to the trapped dog.

Sam (Gets on one knee with worry): "Aww! You poor thing."

Lynn Sr. (Wipes his hands nervously): "Luna…Shane…" (Looks away): "Funny running into you here."

Shane (With disappointment): "Dad…How could you?"

Lance (Nervously rubs the back of his neck): "You see son…we didn't know…"

Luna: "Not just trapping that pup uncle…for spying and overprotecting us!"

Shane: "Luna…"

Lynn Sr.: "How could you say that?"

Luna: "Pop…those blueberries you brought we're taped onto the branches of that bush."

Shane: "And… we started to hear you guys scream a mile away after we crossed the river."

At first, Lynn Sr. wanted to take out the All-Seeing-Eye from his pocket. But stopped halfway, deciding not to make the situation worse for him and his brother.

Lynn Sr. (With a raised brow): "Wait…" (Gives a glace to each teen): "Weren't you kids scared of what was rustling in the bushes and trees around you."

Sam (Not too happy): "We were at first!"

Mazzy: "It didn't help that Sully kept extracting that it could've been a coyote or wolf stalking around."

Mazzy says as she points to her friend, who is looking through the pages of his guidebook for a way to get the dog safely out of the trap.

Sully (Looks up): "Can't you blame though, the wilderness survival guide is never wrong." (Looks away): "Until now."

Shane seems to be unable to take this anymore, as he slowly walks away. He won't even look at his dad in the eye, as Lance runs up to him.

Shane: "I thought you trusted me Dad…what happened to me gaining some independence?"

Luna (Giving her dad a hard time): "I know it's hard for you to let me grow up…but…what you and Uncle Lance did was BEYOND EXTREME! It wouldn't kill you to let me figure things out for myself. You totally went into Daddy-Mode and baby-proofed this whole camping trip."

Lynn Sr. "But Luna, honey…"

Lance: "No Lynn…" (Looks over at his brother): "She's right. We gave our kids the chance to be on their own away from us. But we went completely 180 and took that chance back right behind them."

Lance, puts a hand on his son's shoulder while trying not to shed tears of sadness and guilt.

Lance: "Shane, what I did today was both immature …and unacceptable. I should've had more faith in you than a stupid glass…than letting my worries get the better of me."

Mazzy: "Can you guys maybe save the big family talk for later."

Sam: "We need your help getting this poor dog out."

Lynn Sr.: "Oh…right. Coming!"

But while everyone gathers around to undo the cage, the pup notices the All-Seeing-Eye sticking out of Lynn's pocket.

Dog (Whispers): "The eye!"

Wait…what?!

Sam: "Luckily her paw isn't broken or sprained. It was just caught tightly between the bars of the cage."

Sam says as the pup is happily running around the group. It took a bit of time, but the dog was set free into the world once more.

Lynn Sr. (Feels guilty): "Gee girl, I'm really sorry we trapped you."

Lance: "We had no idea it was you."

But the dog doesn't seem to care. As she, much to everyone's surprise jumps onto Lynn Sr., knocking him down, and starts to give him doggy kisses all over his face.

Mazzy (With a smile): "Aww! She likes you, Mr. Loud."

?: "Ahoy there!"

Coming out of a nearby bush, dressed in all army camo, and holding a leash, is Leonard Loud, Father of Lynn Sr, and Lance Loud. Well as the grandfather of the loud children and cousins.

Leonard: "How are my litt…awesome rocking campers doing?"

Luna (Not sure what to say): "We're doing fine Gramps."

Shane (With a raised brow): "What's with the outfit?"

Leonard: "Oh! This is my new camouflage suit. I bought it, so I can catch the dog, who wandered into Camp Mastodon this morning without her seeing me."

In surprise and confusion, Sully points to the dog, who is still rapidly licking Lynn Sr's face.

Sully: "Wait! This dog isn't yours?"

Lance: "Lynn and I thought you adopted her."

Leonard: "Eh…maybe a little later down the stream. I don't think I'm ready to take care of a pup just yet." (With a raised brow): "And Lance…what are you and Lynnie doing here? I thought you and the wives were letting the kids camp on their own."

Lynn Sr. (Kicking his legs in the air): "Hahaha! Can someone…Haha…please, get this dog…Hahahaha! Off me!"

With the consistent leg kicking and squirming under the dog's loving affection. The All-Seeing-Eye falls out of Lynn Sr.'s pocket and onto the ground. Before any of the teenagers or camp leader can see what it is, the pup immediately stops what she's doing, grabs the eye with her teeth, and runs deep into the woods.

Lynn Sr. (Gets up from the ground): "Hey! Come back here! That's the …uh…"

Lance: "My stress ball. Don't worry yourself Lynnie, I have more at home."

Lance says as he wraps his arm around his brother's shoulder and gives him a wink. To let Lynn Sr. know that it's okay for the pup to run away with the All-Seeing-Eye.

?: "Amy! Where are you, girl?!"

Says a mysterious voice in the distance of the woods. The voice was then answered by a few happy barks and rustling bushes.

?: "Come to me!"

Sam: "I guess that's her owner…" (With a smile): "Amy is a good name for that cutie."

Luna: "Look…We better get back to camp." (Turns to the adults): "Why don't three head back to Camp Mastodon? It would be better for Dad and Uncle Lance to hit the road early before the evening traffic starts."

Lynn Sr. "Yeah…I guess your right honey…Look, I just want to…"

However, Luna doesn't give her father a chance to apologize as she leads her band members and cousin back to their campsite.

Leanord (Confused): "What was that all about?"

With the campers going in one direction, and the three Loud Dads going in the other direction, Lynn Sr. and Lance decided to tell their father everything that they did today.

Leanord (Slaps his forehead in frustration): "Rrrgh…I knew I should've gotten ridden that eye! But NO! I went and hid it."

Now, saying that the Loud brothers were surprised to hear this information is a huge understatement.

Lynn Sr.: "Dad… did you use the All-Seeing-Eye?"

Lance: "And hid it in our secret summer hideout? When did you even find out about that?!"

Leonard (Takes a deep breath): "Sigh…After I bought old Camp Mastodon and inspected the cabins. I didn't know you two would go back there and spy on the kids."

Lynn Sr. (Really ashamed): "Don't remind us…Wait…" (With a raised brow): "How did you get the eye, Dad?"

Lance: "And who were you spying on?"

To tell the truth, Leonard is extremely nervous right now, as he twiddles his thumbs, about to reveal one of his biggest secrets ever to his sons. It turns out that after Lynn Sr. and Lance moved out of the house for college, and like his sons, Leonard was worried about how they'd handle themselves in the real world. But one day while fishing on his fishing boat, the man fished out an old rotten wooden chest that was down deep in the sea. Inside that chest was a metal case, and inside the case was the All-Seeing-Eye. Throughout the years Leanord used the eye's power to keep watch over his boys, even if they were apart from each other. At least until Leanord realized that his sons were more than capable of taking care of themselves, their families, and their families taking care of them. So, he retired from using the All-Seeing-Eye and hid it away just in case he might need it again in the future.

Lance: "Wow…I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, huh?"

Lynn Sr.: "We really let our worries get the better of us."

Leanord: "Part of this is my fault. I should've had more faith in you boys back then."

Lance: "We were no better Dad. At least you watch us from afar. Lynn and I went into full-on Daddy-Mode and baby-fide the kid's camping experience."

Lynn Sr.: "Well, the weekend has just begun." (With a little smile and hope): "We're about to head home… maybe by Monday, Luna and Shane will see that we turned on a new leaf and gave them the chance that they deserve."

Lance: "Sigh…I sure hope so Lynn. I sure hope so…"

Outside the woods, and by the road, Amy the Dog stops in front of an old tree with weird twisty branches. She drops the All-Seeing-Eye onto the ground and starts to wage her tail happily.

Amy: "I did it master! I did it! I got us the All-Seeing-Eye."

?: "Very good Amy! I'm so proud of you. We'll make a good team you and I. But how many times do I have to tell you…"

Says a little white bat, hanging upside down on a branch high in the tree…

White Bat "Please don't call me master."

The end…?