Phantom Traveler:

Same gave up on sleeping at around 5 and made his way across the street for coffee. Jessica haunted his dreams every night, and he was becoming more and more aware that he had gotten soft in his years away. Every monster was making their way into his nightmares too and he was exhausted.

There was a time he was numb to this life. Even when he hated it, he knew how to let it go. Now he couldn't. He had no idea how the older Winchester's did this every day and slept soundly.

"Your dad said you were off at college right?" Jerry asked.

"Yeah I was... I'm taking some time off."

"Well he was real proud of you I could tell, he talked about you all the time."

"He did"

"Yeah you bet he did."

Sam felt Dean's eyes on him. Discussions about what had happened when Sam was gone were still mostly off limits by unspoken agreement. Sam knew if he had asked Dean would have told him, but hearing it from a stranger that John had praised him, was proud of him surprised him. He tuned back in in time to hear Jerry say that that he was an even reade for John.

"Not by a long shot." Sam replied.

John Winchester was the best, and Sam knew he could never replace him.

"This is John Winchester I cant be reached. If this is an emergency call my son Dean 785 555 0179, he can help."

Sam turned away. Is it possible John didn't know Sam was with Dean? He highly doubted it, he was sure he would have heard by now. It only justified what Sam already thought he knew. He was a shit replacement.

Dean watched Sam try to conceal his rage in the passenger seat. He lasted until the next rest stop and took off to the bathroom. It wasn't until he got back in the car that he noticed his brother's knuckles were bleeding. Sam was pissed that their dad was hiding didn't mean the little shit got to be self-destructive.

"You are gonna be useless to me with a broken hand you know."

"Fuck you."

Dean said nothing, simply popped open the glove compartment and reached for some antiseptic wipes. He pushed them into Sam's hand and made his way back to the road. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as the younger Winchester wiped the blood off his hands. His hands were shaking as he did it and it only took about 5 miles for him to break.

"Dean pullover... please"

Dean got over to the side of the road just as Sam was opening his door. He walked into the field beside the road and his shoulders heaved. Dean made it to him before he hit the ground, and lowered him slowly keeping a hand on his back.

"Hey...You're okay."

Sam sobbed.

"I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to be sorry, It's okay. It's been a tough day."

Sam choked out a laugh hiding his tears behind his bangs.

"I'm sorry you got stuck with me and not him."

Dean paused for a moment before crouching down in front of his brother.

"It's not like that Sammy..."

"I'm a shit replacement."

"Damn it... listen to me. I would rather you were both here... but... I can't choose between the two of you okay? I want you here. But if it meant you were safe with Jessica, I would have left you there in a heartbeat. Doesn't mean I don't want you riding shot gun."

Sam nodded and wiped his face.

"Think we can forget about this little roadside freak out?"

Dean smirked.

"It's forgotten little brother."

He reached down and gave Sam help up. They made their way back to the Impala, leaving the town behind them.