Bloody Mary:

Dean looked up from the paper as Sam began to twitch in the passenger seat. His nightmares had left them both on edge and if Dean was honest, he knew he had let them go on for much too long. But they were just starting to come to some kind of understanding in their relationship and Dean didn't want to push his brother too hard. But something was going on with the kid and it was beyond grief, and it was Dean's job to make sure the kid was okay.

When the ghost of Jess' name made its way across his lips Dean reached out and grabbed Sam's shoulder.

"Sam! Wake up."

"I take it i was having a nightmare."

"Yeah, another one"

"Hey at least i got some sleep."

"You know sooner or later we are going to have to talk about this."

Sam made quick work of changing the subject, and Dean allowed it, for now. They could deal with it after the case was over.

"Why'd you let me fall asleep?"

"Cause I'm an awesome brother. What'd you dream about?"

"Lollipops and candy canes."

"Yeah Sure"

Once again Dean let it go.

"She'll come after me."

"Alright that's it."

Dean swerved the car to the side of the road and put it in park looking over at his brother.

"This is about Jessica isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret? That you killed her somehow?"

"Sam his has gotta stop man. I mean the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night its gonna kill you. Now listen to me, it wasn't your fault. If you wanna blame something blame the thing that killed her. Or hell why don't you take a swing at me I'm the one who dragged you away from her in the first place."

Sam looked over at him, puppy dog eyes in full force.

"I don't blame you."

"Well, you shouldn't blame yourself cause there is nothing you could have done."

"I could have warned her."

"About what? You didn't know it was going to happen! And besides all of this isn't a secret I know all about it it isn't gonna work with Mary anyway."

"No, you don't."

"I don't what?"

"You don't know all about it, I haven't told you everything."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well it wouldn't really be a secret if I told you would it?"

Dean didn't believe he should let Sam do this, but his little brother was actually asking his permission. So, he said yes.

Sam looked away from the woman in the white dress and tried to blink away his headache.

"Hey Dean?"

Dean grunted obviously annoyed that Sam wouldn't talk to him.

"Why did your eyes bleed?"

Dean peered over at Sam momentarily.

"For the same reason yours did smartass. You think I don't blame myself for what happened in Palo Alto? For bringing that to your doorstep?"

"Dean, that's stupid. I already told you it wasn't your fault. It would have came for me eventually."

Dean said nothing, but he did pull into the next available motel and book a room for the night. He waited until Sam returned from the bathroom and sat down on the bed across from him.

"That's not what you said two years ago." Dean croaked. "I believe that was a key reason you told me to piss off."

Sam sighed as he remembered that fight.

The two brothers had kept in pretty consistent contact for the first two years Sam had been away. Mostly in the form of awkward holiday phone calls. But Dean had visited Sam a couple times a year. Each time had been more awkward. Dean had nothing to talk about except hunting and their Dad, and Sam's world had shifted into exams, papers and friends.

The last time, neither brother could remember what had started the fight exactly. But it had ended with Sam telling Dean not to bother contacting him again. Dean, who had been known to pull punches for his little brother couldn't find it in him to do it for the preppy asshole that had replaced him. And it had led to two years of radio silence.

"In fact, I believe 'you are going to bring death to my doorstep' is nearly an exact quote."

"Dean.. Look, I was angry and with every passing day I felt further removed from the situation. But that wasn't a fair thing to say to you. Even then I would rather you show up at my doorstep then find out something had happened to you I could have prevented."

Dean thought back to his injuries over the past 2 years, especially the more serious ones. Maybe Sam's presence would have prevented them from happening. But that wasn't a certainty and he wasn't going to lay that at Sam's feet.

"So... you're saying you would have picked up if I called?"

"Yes..."

"Huh."

Dean laid back on the bed to stare at the ceiling.

"I don't want you to feel guilty about Jess. The only thing that would have happened without you there is it probably would have gotten me too. You are the hero in this story Dean."

Dean flinched at the thought of getting the call that Sam was gone, and the selfish part of him was glad it has been Jess instead of Sam. Which also made him feel guilty.

"Tell you what Sammy, you let me know when you don't feel guilty anymore, and I will follow your lead."

"Dean..."

"Big brother prerogative kiddo. If you are going to stew, I'm gonna be right there with you."

Sam laughed and stretched out on his own bed.

"Get some sleep Sammy."

He closed his eyes and drifted off. For the first time in a long time, he slept without dreaming.