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Sam had been terrified of telling his brother about his dreams, but in hindsight it probably would have been better to ease into this.

"I mean, first you tell me you got The Shining? And then you tell me that I've gotta go back home. Especially when..."

"When what?"

"When I swore to myself that I would never go back there."

"Look... Dean, we have to check this out, just to make sure."

Dean turned to Sam with determination in his eyes.

"I know we do."

They had packed up quickly and began to drive to Lawrence Kansas. As they got closer and pulled of the highway Sam pulled the map from the glove compartment, Dean pulled it out of his hands and placed it on the seat between them.

"I don't need directions Sammy."

Sam nodded and looked out the window. Dean had only been four when Mary had died, but as he watched his brother turn carefully onto each side road, Sam realized this place was permanently imprinted on him.

Sam couldn't relate, he had no memories of this town and as they pulled up to the house he realized Dean was shaking.

"You gonna be alright man?"

"Let me get back to you on that."

The last thing Dean wanted was to answer Sam's questions. To be a "witness", but he knew he didn't have much choice.

"...I remember the fire. The heat. Then I carried you out the front door."

"You did?"

"Yeah. Why, you never knew that?"

"No."

It was such a minute detail, but for some reason... it meant everything to Sam. Dean had carried him out the front door away from the fire... The same way he had done in Palo Alto.

Dean walked away from his brother and hid by the bathroom. He quickly dialed his father's number. As expected, he didn't answer.

"Dad... I know I've left you messages before. I don't even know if you get them. But I'm with Sam and we're in Lawrence... and there's something in our old house. I don't know if it's the thing that killed Mom or not but..."

Dean's voice trembled.

"I don't know what to do. So, whatever you're doing if you could get here, please. I need your help, Dad."

Dean stood for a moment trying to rein his emotions back under control, before he walked back to his brother.

"Dad used to own a garage not far from here. Let's roll."

John Winchester sat in Missouri's front room staring at his wedding ring. He wanted to go to them, give Dean a hug and make sure that the break in his son's voice he had heard on his answering machine was gone. He wanted to make sure that Sam was okay. But he couldn't.

John Winchester had many regrets. But he had two boys who would do anything for each other. It may have been the one thing he had gotten right.

Dean had driven well into the night. His only goal was to get as far from the Kansas border as possible. A little after midnight he pulled off into a clearing, with no motels around for miles Baby was going to have to be home for the night.

He reached over the back seat and into the green beat up cooler, pulled out two beers and exited the car hopping up on the hood, he waited until he heard the squeak of the passenger door and smirked as he held the other beer out to his right. He knew that Sam would follow him.

"Thanks." Sam whispered.

Dean grunted and got himself comfortable staring up at the clear sky. Sitting here with Sam was so reminiscent of their younger years. He had often driven Sam out to a random clearing and give the younger boy time to clear his head of whatever had angered him.

Sam squirmed against the hood of the Impala and Dean recognised the motion from their childhood. He obviously wanted to ask Dean something and was worried it would piss him off. Growing up these would be the moments he would slink away from whatever motel they were currently staying at until Sam's curiosity had died down. Maybe Dean had finally matured.

"It's okay Sammy. You can ask."

He felt Sam's eyes on him, but he kept looking up at the sky.

"Is that what she looked like? When she was alive?"

Dean shrugged.

"You've seen pictures."

"I know... but those are just moments frozen in time... that was her, walking and talking. Is that how you remember her?"

Dean finally looked over at Sam, the kid looked a little distraught. This was important to him.

"She was exactly how I remember her... exactly how I picture her in my dreams."

Sam nodded. He was hanging on to every word, and for once Dean didn't want to keep Mary to himself.

"Stay here for a sec."

Dean slid off the hood of the car and made his way to the back seat pulling the metal chest over to him. His chest contracted painfully, He didn't want to have this conversation, but he would do anything for his brother, and he knew how much it had cost Sam not to have a mother. He grabbed a blanket from the floor and reached through the driver's side window to turn the car on so the lights would illuminate the forest in front of them. He then spread the blanket out on the cold ground and sat down back against the grill. Sam slid down next to him. Dean flipped open the lid and reached into the box, first pulling out a worn baseball.

Dean smirked.

"Dad used to play baseball with the guys from the garage on Friday nights. Mom used to take me to every game. She used to help me make stupid signs for him to cheer him on."

"Dad played baseball?"

"Yeah, he sucked." Dean said.

Sam laughed and reached into the box, pulling out a picture of the two of them, sitting in an old armchair.

"Hard to believe I was ever that small."

"Damn right. I remember when Mom took that. You had only been home for a few weeks; I was terrified I was gonna hurt you. She knew how nervous I was, but she calmed me down by telling me that I was your big brother and that she trusted me to look after you."

Sam swallowed and reached for the next picture. It was their mom and Dean, and he was smiling up from a red bike.

"Tell me about this one." Sam asked.

Dean looked at the picture for a moment, willing the memory to come back.

"Mom was trying to teach me how to ride a bike. That was the first time she took the training wheels off. I might be smiling there, but I fell off that damn thing so many times. My knees were covered with band aids under those ridiculous overalls."

Dean took out a picture of their parents, it appeared they were standing on a beach somewhere.

"I'm not sure where this one was taken." Dean said handing his brother the picture.

Sam stared down at it, at the parents he had never gotten the chance to know.

"They look happy." Sam whispered.

Dean looked over at his brother with a frown.

"Sammy, I'm sorry."

Sam looked up from the photo he was holding.

"For what?"

"That you didn't know her."

"Dean... that's not your fault."

"I know... I'm just sorry you didn't get to know Mom and that you have no memories of when Dad wasn't a drill sergeant. They should have been there to teach you to ride your bike and fix your scraped knees. They should have gone to your school plays and helped you with your homework. I know you got the shit end of the stick."

Sam was silent for a few moments.

"Dean... I didn't miss out on those things. You did all those things for me."

Dean shrugged.

"Someone had to."

It was the closest he had ever come to admitting his father had made mistakes, but that wasn't what Sam was aiming for tonight.

"Yeah well... I wish I could have done some of those things for you too. You grew up too fast, having to take care of me. I'm sorry you lost her."

Dean stared down at his own knees.

"Listen Sammy, I wasn't always fair to you. I know growing up I didn't talk about Mom much. I guess as a kid it was just too painful to talk about. But I should have told you more about her. I wanted to keep those memories to myself and now I realize that wasn't fair. If you ever want to know something about her, I'll do my best to answer."

"I appreciate that." Sam said.

Sam stared down at the photo of the four of them standing outside the house. An identical copy had brought them to Lawrence in the first place.

Sam whispered under his breath, too quietly for Dean to hear.

"What was that, Sammy?"

Sam turned to his brother with a funny smirk on his face.

"A quote that Jess used to say from the poet Hafiz. 'Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth 'you owe me'. Look what happens with a love like that, it lights up the whole sky."

"Okay... you want to translate for me college boy?"

"Nothing it's just... if a love like that lights up the whole sky... Dad must have been living in complete darkness for a long time. No wonder he ran from Lawrence and started hunting monsters."

Dean frowned, that made sense.

"What about you Sam? You living in darkness?"

Sam chuckled.

"Maybe it all seems a little dimmer right now, but no. Dad was alone. I'm not."

"Damn right."

Dean sat quietly as Sam went through the rest of box, sometimes answering questions if Sam asked and he could remember and as they packed up and the two brothers stretched out on the seats of the car.

Dean may not know much about love; he had been too busy travelling to find anything long lasting. But as he looked at his little brother dozing in the back seat, he knew that one thing was true. If love was how he felt about his father and his brother, Jessica's poet had been right.

A love like that lit up the whole sky.