Having dealt with the other two temples after murdering even more Chilli Churros, normality returned to Mondstadt.
People returned to their jobs, the winds cleared, and the Knights got to Knighting again.
But there were a few differences from before.
Xxxxxxx
Inside a large mansion inside of the city, Lisa and Blitzo were laying in a bed naked, having spent a few hours of passion together after the ordeal of the three temples.
Blitzo lightened a cigarette on Lisa' bed and folded his arms behind his head, while Lisa sighed in contentment.
«I'm sorry for having to move our little fun early. The issue with Stormterror has caught the Knights by surprise. » Lisa apologized; her hands tied to the bed. She was wearing a gag and a harness.
« Heh. A shame really. Got to say, that was fun! We gotta do this more often! Nothing official, that is. I'm not one for everlasting relations. » Blitzo commented, before burning the ropes with his cigarette, with Lisa chuckling at the proposal. « Come to think about it, the fuck is wrong with Stormass? Doesn't he have better things to do? Like…I dunno…. fucking eating and shitting in the woods so that no one hears him? »
« He is one of the Four Winds of Mondstadt, the Dragon of the East. He is affiliated with Barbatos, the god of Anemo. » Lisa explained.
« "God of Anemo," huh? Lemme guess, fucker thought he had a bigger dick than the big guy upstairs, and Barbados just fukken yeeted him from heaven to teach him a fucking lesson. » Blitzo guessed.
« That's…an interesting theory, darling. » Lisa chuckled.
« Meh. Wouldn't be that surprising. Apparently emergency food is a thirsty owl daddy from where I come from. Probably would make for a better father, but, eh…. who am I to judge? » Blitzo shrugged.
« None the less, his real name is Dvalin, but I fear that you itty bitty impy are going to continue calling him Stormterror…or at least try to. » Lisa teased her companion.
« No shit, that crap sounds even more complicated! The hell is he, a Skyrim knockoff? »
« And it doesn't really matter. This whole "Stormterror" business is making the people of Mondstadt forget. Not that I entirely blame them. »
« Weeeell, what do ya know! Apparently when ya start wreaking shit for no Satan damned reason, people get upset! Then again, he probably doesn't give a shit. Angels sure as hell don't when the purge comes around every god damned year. »
« I'm starting to think that perhaps we had it easier compared to you people. »
« It's…complicated. It's just how things are in hell. You get used to it after a while. » Blitzo commented, in a serious tone for once.
« However, I do have to disagree with your theory once more. He cares. For all the wrong reasons. »
Blitzo raised an eyebrow confused at Lisa. « Does he have a hate boner for you folks? »
«…. That is correct, I'm afraid. Hatred has driven him to become something more powerful than the wind itself. To become Stormterror. »
«…. Shit….. And I thought I had a rough relation with my ex… » Blitzo commented. « So what the hell did you guys do? Granted, I ain't no saint, but at least that bitch Veronica doesn't invade my turf every five seconds to wreak my shit and neither do I…. »
«… As a child of Mondstadt, it's something that's really hard to say out loud. »
« Ah…I think I get it. Easy there sugar, I ain't going to pressure it. We all have our secrets under the closet. » Blitzo replied as he dressed himself.
« Thank you. »
« Don't sweat it. Besides, I ain't one to judge. Can't be worse than what I do on an average afternoon for cash. »
« Well…it still didn't result in someone trying to destroy your home. »
« It's hell, no one gives a shit. Stormpussy is just being a big baby throwing tantrum. He'll calm down eventually. Either that or die a slow painful death by a thousand cuts by spears and swords. »
« You can be extremely wistful at times, you know? In your own way. » Lisa chucked.
« Yeah, but it gets boring. It's more fun to be the irresponsible asshole that blows shit up and doesn't look back. » Blitzo smirked.
« Ah, to have no responsibilities. I miss those times. » Lisa commented.
« Interested in joining IMP? Pay is decent now that we live in a functional society. » Blitzo proposed.
« Tempting….but as the librarian of the Knights of Flavonius, I have a lot of responsibilities. » Lisa replied. « Speaking of which, where are your employees? »
« In the new base. Jean pay was big enough we could afford a new place. For now, that is. » Blitzo replied.
« It must be traumatic being in such a different place from where you used to live. » Lisa pondered.
« More like friggin' weird. I've been stabbing and shooting fuckers for god knows how long TRYING to hide from humans, and here we are, having bought a propriety, talkin' to folks, hell, banging you! All done without any contract shit or secrecy! The big guy upstairs would have sent his boys down the moment we tried to be this un-subtle! »
« You keep talking of a "big guy upstairs." Is he your god? » Lisa asked.
« First, no. Second, we don't talk about the big guy upstairs unless we call it the big guy upstairs or we curse. »
« Apologies. »
« Meh. Yer new to this whole "demons n' angels" bullshit, wouldn't blame ya. Ye sure didn't when talking about Stormfuck. »
« To be frank, people outside of Mondstadt do share a similar problem. » Lisa shrugged.
« Oh, by the way, before I forget….my sweet Loona is interested in learning a few of your magic tricks. Said that your lightning was "sick as fuck." Trust me, it's a compliment. »
« Oh, she wants to learn the ways of Electro magic, huh? She might not learn considerably without the aid of a vision, however. »
Blitzo paused a good 10 seconds after hearing that. « Da fuck is a "vision"? »
« A Vision is an item bestowed by the gods to people who meet requirements of certain kind. It grants the user elemental abilities based on the element of their given Vision. » Lisa explained, as she also got dressed up.
« Your gods being better than our. Got it. come to think about it, how the hell am I throwing random anime attacks without this "Vision" crap? » Blitzo asked genuinely confused.
« Are you sure that you do not possess a Vision? Maybe hidden in your clothes? » Lisa asked.
As she asked that, Blitzo begun to casually check his pockets and jacket in search of anything unusual. Suddenly, he pulled out a blue crystal out of his jacket.
«Good Satan! No wonder I felt something stabbing my friggin' kidney stones! »
« A Vision allows its user to harness its respective element. It is the only way for humans to harness the elements, but how it does this, what is exchanged for this power, and how a person's element is determined are all mysteries. Two factors determine how people are chosen for a Vision, the first of which is the strength of a person's desire or ambition. The second is unknown; believe me we've tried to uncover it. »
« Holy crap, and yer guys just hand these like candies? Man, I freaking love this place! » Blitzo commented, tossing the crystal around casually, before being blocked by Lisa, a shocked and terrified look on her face.
« Are you out of your mind!? Be careful! A Vision is a physical embodiment of its owner's ambitions! Being deprived of it is the same as losing that ambition! Losing it can turn you into a completely different person! »
Blitzo looked at her with wide eyes. « Great powers great responsibilities, got it. Christ on a stick I dodged a bullet there…. » he said, as he placed the Vision in a safer place.
« Obtaining a Vision does not grant instant mastery over elemental energy, and using elemental energy in combat takes practice. You'll need to train yours to better use it, and so will Loona if she gains one. »
« So what does this babe do? » Blitzo asked curious.
« You have a Vision of the Anemo element. The element of the wind. It gives you the power to control the winds, either to defeat your foes or to defend yourself. »
« Urgh, and I thought I could create a freaking hurricane with this thing. Better than nothing, I guess…. » Blitzo replied.
« Well…perhaps your kind can do that. Who knows what Imps infused with the powers of the Seven can do. »
« Well that was interesting n'shit. Anyway, gotta go. Now that I think about it, I think I did send my guys to do some shit. » Blitzo massaged his chin in thought.
« New problems with the Hilichurls? » Lisa asked.
« Nah. I think it was advertising. And if they didn't fuck this up…. »
Xxxxxxx
Outside, Moxxie, Millie and, technically, Loona, were extremely busy. They had to hang several pieces of white paper all over town for advertisement. Something about selling the brand better, as Blitzo put it.
« This is never going to work… » Moxxie complained.
« Yeah, but its fun to see you losers slaving away. » Loona smirked as she took a selfie.
« Well, I think that's the last of them. And if that other guy did his job…. »
Suddenly, on the entire town, large pieces of white paper emerged, before a large camera popped out from the statue of the Anemo temple. Most specifically, from her boobs.
Then, all of a sudden, speakers emerged all around town, playing the French national anthem, but with horse whines rather than actual worlds.
Then, suddenly, on the various pieces of paper, Blitzo appeared.
« Hi, there! I'm Blitzo! The "o" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.! Are you a piece of shit that got yourself penetrated in the ass because you thought that skinning Chilli Churros was a fun idea, or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by some idiotic Chilli Churro migrant escaping from Stormcartel?! »
The commercial then cut to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitzo held a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!"
«After lovingly ripping the intestines from a Chilli Churros after I shoved my fist inside their ass because they FUCKING TRIED TO STAB ME BECAUSE I WAS BORROWING HIS FUCKING TENT, you can imagine my surprise when the rest of his group tried to beat me to death with their clubs, giving me real police brutality vibes! I really wish that there were some NON-FUCKING DISGRACES TO THE FUCKING UNIVERSE BUSY WITH A FUCKING LIZARD that could deal with the problem! »
The commercial then turned back to Blitzo.
« Well, luckily for you. Thanks to our company's alliance with the Fabulous knights, we can help you take care of those Chilli Churros while the big boys and girls in armour deal with Stormbitch! »
Then he begun to sing
When you want a Churro gone,
and you don't want to wait too long
call the Immediate Murder Professionals!
Hand grenade or cyanide,
We'll make it look like genocide
The Immediate Murder Professionals!
We do our job so well,
Because, we come straight out from Hell!
We'll kill their husbands or their wifes
We'll even let you keep the knifes
We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... ProfessionAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!
The speakers then begun to play the music louder, until Overtune started to play, with several explosions occurring in the area.
« Wait, was that part of the commercial? » Moxxie asked concerned.
Answering his question was the maddening laugh of a nearby Imp in a white dress. «ALL HAIL INSANITY! AAAAAAALLLLLLLL HHHHHAAAAAAIIIIILLLL IIINNNNSSSSAAANNNIIITTTYYYY! »
« Oh, curbs…» Moxxie cursed.
Fortunately, after many more explosions, Mondstadt turned unharmed by the most extreme commercial of all time.
Silence ruled over the city as people tried to understand what just happened.
« AAAAnd we just wasted our salary. » Moxxie said defeated, before a person arrived.
« Sooo…does that mean that you'll kill all the Hilichurls? »
« W-well, not ALL the Chili Churros, because…well…then we'd be out of jobs, buuuutttt….a limited number? » was Moxxie response.
« So like, if a group of Hilichurls attacks my propriety…I can just hire you, pay a good sum of money, and you get rid of the problem? »
« Well yeah. That's what assassins do. » Loona replied bored.
« You guys never had mercenaries in this town? » Millie asked curious.
« Not really…the knights dealt with most of the problems. » was a citizen response.
« What if they were busy? » Moxxie asked incredulous.
« Then…I guess nobody dealt with the issue…. »
« Oh, for fuck-You mean to tell me that you had the knights deal with every single problem!? » Moxxie exclaimed.
The people around just shrugged at the question.
« Good grief, no wonder the place is a desolate wasteland! » Moxxie commented.
« Easy there Mox, we can make a difference now, right? » Millie said.
« Yeah, and get paid. And having a functioning facility for once. » Loona added.
« Unless our boss fucks it up with horses. Not that I've seen them anywhere in this Satan forgotten place. » Moxxie commented.
« You better not talk shit about horses, ya baby dicked fuck! » a voice yelled out.
« And speaking of the devil…. » Moxxie sighed defeated.
« There you are, fellas! I see our commercial stunt was a success! » it was Blitzo, who hugged the trio with a puppy face.
« Ignoring the fact that I almost went deaf because of the explosions….yeah, I guess it could go worse…. » Moxxie replied.
« Look, Mox. We could only afford that fuckface with the looney brain. Now let's just get some contracts for Chili Churros genocide and move on with our lives. » was Blitzo response.
But before the trio could move to their base, a guard halted them. « Pardon me. I came to escort you the Favonius headquarters. Acting grandmaster Jean wants to speak with you. »
The four looked worried at the guard. « Oh curbs…. was it the explosions? »
« Well it should be, people could have died! »
« Cope and seethe, fuckface. » Blitzo flipped the guard off.
«….Just follow me. »
Xxxxxxx
Once again, the four went inside the Favonius headquarters, slightly worried, but ready for anything.
Jean looked at the four with disappointed eyes. But none the less, she sighed.
« You've pulled quite an unwanted show back there. »
« You mean that white suit fuckface that made the special effects for our commercial pulled a shitshow to ruin us! » Blitzo shot back.
« None the less, your efforts in the temple were notable, and with your actions, we should be able to focus our energies on Stormterror. » Jean continued. « But alas, this is not the reason why I summoned you here. »
« Sooo…..why are we here, ma'am? » Moxxie asked worried.
« Simply put, I do wish to give you an extra reward for your efforts. »
« Oh! Is Lisa gonna teach me how to shoot lightning n'shit? » Loona exclaimed excited.
« Musical instruments? » Moxxie asked.
« One kickass rodeo!? » Millie exclaimed excited.
« A threesome with the librarian? » Blitzo exclaimed.
«What? »
« What? »
« A-anyway, I fear that it is none of them. Rather, it's this. » Jean replied, before pulling out four wing like capes, all light blue in colour.
The four just looked at the capes with a deadpan expression on their faces.
« Da fuck are those?! »
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you to the next update!