Darkness spanned for what could've been miles around. Nothing was distinguishable past the glow of orange permeating from the large, liquid filled glass tube. And that tube stood alone, tucked far away in some unknown place.

He didn't know much about the outside world. He had seen glimpses, been let out on occasions, but for the most part, this was where he lived: floating in this glowing tube that burned a shade of green into the backs of his eyelids. He placed a hand on the inside of the smooth glass, watching the way the LCL bubbled up around it. At one point in his past, he'd been scared of the dark. He disliked all the hours he spent stuck here, fearing some unseen danger. Though he'd let go of that for the most part, as unfounded fear like that was a thoroughly human thing, and as it'd been ingrained into his head by the old men, he knew he wasn't bound to those human qualities. He understood that he wasn't a human, nor an animal, nor anything in-between. He was a child of Adam, not Lilith.

No, he wasn't afraid now. Though he still disliked the darkness. It was only that his dislike spurred from something other than fear. These days, it was because of how he yearned to go back outside. He'd been anticipating it for a while now. The old men had made it clear that his time was coming, and soon; it wouldn't be long now before he could leave. And of course, he knew what the purpose was. He knew what would soon become of him, and although he was sad to think of that moment, he couldn't help feeling excited anyway. Even if it was for a short time, he'd be able to experience the world - the place where lilin walked and talked and felt. For the first time, he would be able to experience what it was like to be one of them.

And above all, he'd finally meet that boy who he knew he was destined to.

He'd meet the Fifth Child.

Shinji smiled softly, loosening the press of his hand against the glass, allowing it instead to float as freely as the rest of him. He closed his eyes.

'Soon...Very soon.'

...

The sound of the ocean was always calming, so he found himself going there rather often, and even more so these days when it felt like his entire life was caving in around him. It was the occasional moments like these where he actually felt secure, where he didn't have to think about Evas or piloting, or wonder why it was that he was the one chosen for this position, and not millions of other people. Those questions never seemed to get him anywhere anyway.

So, it was here he sat, upon uncomfortable juts of rock just barely higher than the shoreline. The air was cleaner here than it was back in the city, so he breathed deeply, his eyes closed. He felt his strawberry blonde hair whipping up lightly around him. It was a pleasantly breezy evening.

Softly, he began humming. He'd had a recent bout of love for classical music, and the classics cassette he'd been listening to was thoroughly lodged in his mind. It felt nice to hum it out, as if it was a comfort to himself. And it wasn't as if he needed to be embarrassed or quiet; he was alone there, after all.

"You have a beautiful voice."

Kaworu started and looked around. There was a person sitting on top of a crumbled, headless statue only a few feet away. The statue had always been so unassuming, so Kaworu never took the time to look at it, but that person must've been sat there for a few minutes at least. Kaworu flushed in light embarrassment.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there...'

Getting a better look at them, Kaworu realized how odd the sight was. Aside from sitting elegantly and still - like a figure in a Renaissance painting - they were pale, fair-haired, and red-eyed. It took Kaworu a moment to consider whether they were a boy or a girl as he looked over their androgynous features, their feminine voice doing little to help him evaluate. Though he realized a moment later that he was simply a delicate looking boy. He was wearing the same uniform as him.

He looked strange, yet the longer Kaworu observed him, the less odd he seemed. He almost felt like he'd seen that boy's face before, but not exactly as it was now. He looked so familiar, as if he was a long-lost friend whose features had been barely tweaked and altered until he was made into something entirely new. What was that feeling?

The boy narrowed his eyes a little, smiling softly. "I wonder if you find music as beautiful as I do. You strike me as an artful sort of lilin."

Kaworu shook his head lightly, trying to focus on the boy's words. His appearance was so eerily enchanting that he found it hard to focus. "Artful... I guess you could call me that, yeah..." He was usually so good at talking to people. Why was he at such a loss for words?

Chuckling softly, the boy continued to pierce Kaworu with those big, red eyes. "I imagined you would be, Nagisa Kaworu-kun."

Even the sound of his name on the boy's lips sounded familiar. How very strange... "You know my name?"

He tilted his head, gazing down at Kaworu. "There are many things I know about you, Nagisa-kun. You're quite popular, aren't you?"

Kaworu sighed, looking down at the rock. "I suppose I am, but that's only because of my position." Curiously, he looked back up at the boy. "Who are you, though?"

His smile seemed to grow wider at the question. "Ayanami. Ayanami Shinji. I'm the Third Child."

"Ah, the Third Child?" As Shinji nodded, Kaworu felt oddly satisfied. There were a number of things the people at Nerv had never explained to him, and the lack of a Third Child in the lineup had been one of them. Though, it made him wonder: had this boy, Shinji, been with Nerv longer than he had? He knew he'd never seen him before.

"You said your name was Ayanami-kun, yes? Are you related to the First? You look a lot like her."

"We're... relatives, yes." He smiled more amusedly in Kaworu's direction. "And there's no need to be so formal. Just Shinji is fine."

Kaworu felt himself flush lightly. "So is Kaworu, then."

He'd never seen a person smile so beautifully, but Shinji was different.

...

Kaworu waited outside the training rooms, passively tapping his foot to nonexistent music. The two of them hadn't necessarily organized to meet up with each other, but Kaworu couldn't help wanting to see Shinji again. It was such a curious effect he had on him. Shinji was so unusual yet captivating. Kaworu felt as if he couldn't function normally whenever he was around, and though that sounded alarming, it was more intriguing than anything. How was it that Shinji was the first person he'd ever met who could reduce him - the confident, relaxed, ever-charming Kaworu - into a blushing, smiling mess? He wanted to spend more time with him, to truly understand what it was about him that could affect him so easily.

The door slid open; Kaworu looked up.

"Kaworu-kun, were you waiting for me?"

Attempting his usual, graceful smile, Kaworu spoke. "Yes, actually." Why did he feel so nervous? It wasn't like him to blush... "I was just heading to the showers. I wondered if you'd like to accompany me?"

Shinji smiled warmly. Kaworu couldn't help but notice that the boy's cheeks were almost always barely dusted a light pink. It was cute.

"I'd be honored. Let's go, then."

Quickly, Kaworu stood and fell into step beside Shinji, glancing at him. He was quite short, which was saying something given that he himself wasn't tall by any means. It was like everything about him was inherently adorable.

Kaworu made a little noise in the back of his throat when he felt Shinji take his hand. Perfectly at his ease, he tilted his head at Kaworu, still grasping it lightly. "Is this uncomfortable? This is what you do to express affection for another being, yes?"

Hesitantly, Kaworu squeezed his hand back. "N-No, it's alright. You can do whatever you'd like..."

Shinji hummed lightly as they entered the locker room. Slowly, he slipped his hand from Kaworu's grip, looking regretful that he couldn't continue to hold it while they undressed.

"It's strange," Shinji murmured, his voice echoing around the room as Kaworu finished taking off his pants, looking firmly in the opposite direction.

"What is?"

Kaworu glanced over his shoulder as Shinji finished too. He attempted not to look any further than his face. "It's only... I don't know, I've never felt nervous exposing myself to anyone before. Yet my stomach feels strange and tight with you here."

How funny. That's exactly how he felt too. "I'm sorry, Shinji-kun. I promise I'm not judging you. You don't need to be scared of me."

Shinji shook his head, walking nearer. Kaworu turned, alarmed. "I'm not scared of you. It's a fluttery kind of nervous. Something nice."

He let out a breath as Shinji brushed past him, entering a shower stall, and he watched as his pale expanse of smooth skin disappeared behind the door.

Shinji also seemed to be the one to finish first, as Kaworu heard the shower next to him stop a few minutes after he got into a stall of his own.

He sighed, wishing he could've been more composed. It felt like a rather childish thing to think, but Kaworu wanted to seem cool and impressive. So many girls at school had always thought of him that way, so he would've thought that keeping up that appearance for someone he's interested in would've been easy. But it wasn't, not at all. Shinji made him feel so different. It wasn't like how he interacted with the girls at school, nor with any of his other male friends. The way he made him feel... Kaworu couldn't compare it to anything he had known before.

He supposed that's what it felt like to fall in love with someone.

The thought made his heart feel strange and stuttery, but he didn't think it was wrong. He'd always considered himself a romantic, hoping that one day he'd be able to find the perfect person to spend his life with. And although he knew it was probably unrealistic, he still held onto that hope. It was only that, in all his time on this Earth, he'd never once met someone who caught his attention. It was hard not to become disillusioned after a while. But this boy...this boy renewed that excitement within him.

And it wasn't like he'd never considered it before. He had always been aware of how little he seemed to care for girls. It made him wonder if maybe his orientation fell in the opposite direction instead. And although many other boys his age seemed to find the concept gross, Kaworu didn't think he'd mind if he fell in love with another boy, just as long as he could be happy with him, he didn't think their sex mattered much at all.

Now, as he walked out into the bathing room and flicked his eyes to the grey-haired boy submerged in the bath, Kaworu couldn't help but think that his suspicions had been right. Shinji really was attractive, after all...

Kaworu entered, the water distilling as he sank lower, testing how close to Shinji he could get. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest; he felt so nervous.

"...I've been so excited to meet you, you know?"

Kaworu watched Shinji as he kept his eyes closed, smiling softly, and looking forward. "Have you?"

"Mm," he nodded. "I've been waiting for this for so long... but even after all this time, I worry that I've grown to fear first contact with another. I thought it would be so easy, but..."

Shinji turned to Kaworu slowly. He was blushing, smiling softly with such a lightly nervous look on his face. Why did he have to be so cute? "It's so difficult to touch you, even though I yearn to be closer." He continued in a thoughtful whisper, "Is there something wrong with me, Kaworu-kun?"

Kaworu shook his head, blue eyes locked with Shinji's red. "There's nothing wrong with you... It's normal to be nervous when you meet someone new."

Tilting his head, Shinji watched Kaworu, and he felt as if those deep, red eyes were penetrating him, analyzing him beyond his physical being. "It's so odd, though...I feel as if I've met you before, like this isn't the first time we've done this... But either way, I can't bring myself to come to you..." He blinked, then looked up at Kaworu through pale lashes. "I wonder if it's selfish of me to ask you to come to me first?"

Slowly, still gazing into his face, Kaworu laid his hand over top of Shinji's. He felt it twitch. He wondered if Shinji knew how hard his heart was beating.

"Kaworu-kun..." Shinji shook his head lightly. "You're even more beautiful than I imagined you to be. I've never seen someone so pretty..."

Kaworu breathed shakily, pink spreading further across his face. "Neither have I, Shinji-kun. Everything about you is so perfect..."

His eyes fluttered, and he looked down. Hand shaking, Kaworu cupped Shinji's cheek, urging him to look back up at him. Shinji sighed, leaning into the weight. His skin was so warm...

He jolted slightly as the lights turned off. Kaworu felt his heart sink a little, slipping his hand away. "They're closing."

"Time to go?"

"Yeah... I really should go to bed."

"...With me?" Shinji asked innocently.

Kaworu's entire stomach seemed to backflip. "I-If that's what you'd like, then..."

His smile widening, Shinji stood. Kaworu looked up at him. "I'd grown to understand that the heart endures pain - that man concedes to suffering because of how painful it is to live. That they fear connection because of the possibility of hurting one another." He looked down at Kaworu. "Yet you have the ability to overcome that fear, to reach out to those whose hearts are delicate like glass. You've earned my admiration."

"Admiration?"

"I'm saying I love you."

...

Kaworu didn't know how it'd happened like this, but he knew he wouldn't have done it over again, because it was so perfect just how it was.

They had come back to rest in Shinji's cramped little bedroom, and Shinji had invited Kaworu to sleep in bed with him. Shinji was lying in his arms, his grey head resting on the other boy's chest, his hands curled up under his chin. He was so light that holding him like this didn't make it difficult to breathe. If anything, it seemed to make it easier.

Kaworu had never held anyone before, not like this. He was lightly tracing his hand up and down Shinji's back, basking in his warmth. He felt like everything Kaworu had ever wanted.

"Kaworu-kun..."

"Shinji-kun?"

He shifted slightly. "Should it really feel this good to be with another person? Is living meant to be so pleasant?"

Kaworu hummed. He moved his hand to stroke Shinji's hair. It was so silky. "Life isn't always supposed to feel good, but those are the parts that make it all worth it."

Shinji flexed his hands. "Right now, I'm so happy. I can barely understand it; I've never felt so good before. I feel as if all I've ever experienced until now has just been pain and loneliness, but I never realized how much it hurt because I didn't know there was more to being alive. But now I..." Shinji gasped, his tone suddenly watery. Kaworu felt like his heart broke. "I realize how lonely I've been. How much I've been yearning for this... for you."

Shinji's head rose shakily from Kaworu's chest. Once again, Kaworu cupped his cheek and gazed into his tear-filled, fragile eyes. "Shinji-kun..."

The boy was smiling despite everything. "I realize now that I was born to meet you..."

And Kaworu only hesitated for a moment when Shinji moved forward and kissed him, his lips as gentle and soft as the rest of him. Kaworu closed his eyes as a few tears slipped down Shinji's pale, flushed cheeks.

...

The old men had lied to him. It wasn't Adam who awaited him in the abyss that was Terminal Dogma. It was Lilith who stood before him, motionless, held captive by her own creations. They had deceived him.

"Shinji-kun, stop, please!"

With a pang of longing, Shinji turned around. He watched as Unit-02 approached, finally having beaten Unit-01. Kaworu captured him in the Eva's fist, and he winced, but kept gazing upward.

"Kaworu-kun, I'm so sorry for everything I've done..."

"I don't understand... Shinji-kun, why? I thought you were finally happy."

He smiled. Even now, Shinji's happiness was what Kaworu worried himself about. That wonderful, selfless boy...

"I've been so selfish. I thought that I, a being of Adam, could truly live as a lilin. But I'm not worthy of that. I lied to you, and I only ever took from you."

Kaworu's voice sounded imploring. "You never took from me, Shinji-kun... it isn't taking if I wanted to give myself to you. Please... whatever this is, don't go through with it. I need you to come back to me. I need to keep making you happy. There's so much I need to show you..."

The urge to cry once again forced itself into Shinji's heart. He wanted to be cowardly, to return to Kaworu and the comfort of his arms, but for once, he needed to make this decision for himself. As much as it hurt, this is what needed to be done.

"If I stay, I risk all of humanity. I could never do that, especially when it would mean killing you. And anyway, you deserve a lilin... someone like you who could reciprocate all of the love you have in your heart. I'm not the one who deserves it."

"But you are! I don't care if you're an Angel, you're the only one I've ever loved, Shinji-kun!"

This time, Shinji couldn't stop the tears from forming in the corners of his eyes. He continued to smile even though it hurt. "As are you, Kaworu-kun. And that's why I need you to fulfill one, last selfish request of mine." He continued as Kaworu waited, "Our time runs short. My instincts are telling me to return to Lilith, to become one with her, but I can't let that happen. I need you to kill me, Kaworu-kun."

Kaworu's voice was panicked, disbelieving. "K-Kill you? Shinji-kun, please, I can't-"

"I was destined to destroy humanity, but this is the only choice I have. I can allow myself to die... But you don't need to worry about my happiness anymore." Hotly, his tears ran down his face as he gazed upwards, still smiling. "If I get to feel your hands around me one last time, happiness will be the last thing I ever feel."

He urged him. "Please, Kaworu-kun... make me happy one last time."

Unit-02 remained still for an eternity. Shinji feared that Kaworu had frozen, but then, "...I love you, Shinji-kun."

Shinji stared into the Eva's face, and he could picture Kaworu's sweet, adoring expression. He wished he had kissed him more than once.

"I love you too, Kaworu-kun."

He closed his eyes, his lover's face the last thing he thought of before he couldn't think any longer.

What a miracle it was to be alive.