KOTODAMA
"The soul that resides within words."
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Chapter XII
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Bibliographic register
Scroll Nº 08
Discovery 8828, Sengoku
It's been a rough day. Kagome has suffered intense pain, and despite the healing she has done to herself with her energy, the herbs she keeps to deal with what ails her, and of how much she tries to hide her suffering from me, she forgets I can hear her heartbeat when it becomes agitated, one of the responses one's body has to pain.
Even now, as the night covers the sky and her rest, she still groans in her sleep.
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"Hi?" He recognized her voice immediately, a hint of doubt mixed in, something he didn't found strange, since in her screen, the number calling must appear as unknown.
"Hi, Kagome. It's InuYasha." He clarified.
His own heart was restless, he noted, and also knew it was clearly because of his own nerves. Many days had passed since he last spoke to her, back when he left her at the train station after her unexpected appearance in the Kyomu. He wished he had been able to call earlier, or even see her, yet his own matters were far too pressing to allow him such a luxury.
"Oh." Was the first reaction he received, and couldn't help smiling as he imagined her expression. "Hi. I didn't think you'd call."
"I said I would, although it took me longer than I expected." He heard her emit a negative sound, sensible and much like her.
"Doesn't matter. You've called in the end." She sounded like she was smiling. "How have you been? How is Shippo?"
InuYasha became keenly aware of how his body shook out of an emotion he couldn't quite define, his mind once again conjuring her figure with surprising easy as she spoke; he seemed to be absorbing, in haste and detail, everything that she was and did.
"He is doing well. On the mend. He still needs to wear the plaster for a couple weeks, so he's been stuck in a foul mood. "Through the phone came her clear laugh.
"I guess he won't be up to any mischief for a while." She said between laughs.
InuYasha was enjoying that feeling of being with Kagome; it seemed he could talk about anything with her without being morally judged, a fact that became a warmth sensation filling his chest.
"I'm trying to keep him from going down that path." He didn't want, however, to describe his life in too much detail. He just wasn't proud of it.
"I'm kidding, you know that right?" She clarified.
"I imagine." He said, as the tip of his foot drew figures on the ground, thanks to the shoes he had yet to change.
"You'll have to tell me how he ended up like that in the first place." She seemed to be curious, which made sense.
"Next time I see you." The implicit promise between lines left them both in silence.
And it reminded them of that last long silence they shared in that horrendous, albeit interesting, hotel room. Kagome smiled before the memory, and felt encouraged to be the first one to speak again.
"You've told me about Shippo, but you have yet to tell me about you. How are you?" She insisted. InuYasha smiled.
"I could tell you tomorrow." He said, feeling his heart becoming restless again.
"Will you call again?" The question came up, and he noted in Kagome's voice that she seemed to think it a strange possibility.
"Actually, I'm thinking on going to see you. You offered me a job, remember?" He hoped she did.
Kagome felt her stomach fighting against her feelings, as she bit her lips out of the anxiety she was now trying to hold back. They had just talked about seeing each other again, but she didn't expect it to be the very next day. Her silence, however, went on a bit too long, for he asked again, "and? It's the offer still good?" It almost seemed to her that InuYasha sighed, anxiously.
Then, in the background, she heard her name, only for her door to be opened by Hojō the next second.
"Your turn, Kagome." Said the young-man. She nodded.
"I'm bothering you." It wasn't a question, more like a fact InuYasha seemed to comprehend, which made her feel as if he were walking away. How delicate human emotions could be, she pondered, and how easy are they influenced by external events, whether big or small.
"It's ok, it's not a problem." She tried to explain. She looked back at Hojō, then turned her back on him as a way to make him see his lack of prudence. "Tomorrow, then?"
The immediate answer was silence; it lasted for an instant, long enough to make her wonder if she had been heard.
"Are you still there?" She sought to know.
"Yes… and yes." Two answers for two questions. "Where do you want to meet?"
"I could go to your house, if you want." She offered.
"Don't."
His reply was so stern it felt even strange.
"Then…" She didn't feel comfortable with the idea of Ayumi spying on them, or maybe, she simply wanted to keep him as hers for a little bit longer. She wasn't sure. "… we could meet at my place, although my roommate will be here, and I don't know if we'll be at ease."
"I have an alternative… as long as you are ok with some noise." He began to say, and Kagome could almost picture him smiling.
"What alternative?" She wondered; her curiosity picked on.
"Kagome." Ayumi was at the door now. She made a gesture, so that they would continue the game without her, to which her friend let out a huff, then went away; it seemed she'd need to explain herself later.
"Miroku." He mentioned.
"Oh." She reacted, recalling the pink room… and the lack of artificial light. She did think, however, it wasn't a bad idea.
"Too improper?" The question was almost cautious.
"No, it's alright. We'll go to Miroku's." She smiled, an adventure before her, as her mind was now filled with the pictures she wanted to draw.
InuYasha, on his side, perceived her cheerful tone, and so his hand tightened its grip around the belt of the purse he wore crossed as if it were a satchel. That object reminded him that Kagome seemed to be different from the people he was used to meeting.
"Alright, I'll wait for you outside your workplace tomorrow." He told her, and found himself liking how those words sounded.
"See you tomorrow." He heard her say, as if trying to make each and every word last.
After that, he waited for a moment before hanging up. There, he stared at the phone for a second longer, before leaving the cabin and start towards the house he was sharing with Shippo. He would take him something for dinner, then he would go sleep in order to be at the market first thing tomorrow. He sighed then, slightly tired, and wondered when would his place in life ever change. Could it happen? Did anyone have any expectations of him?
Beyond Shippo, there was no one who he shared a bond with, no one who may miss him for being who he was. Maybe it had been precisely such a thought, together with what he felt coming from Kagome, what pushed him to get in that phone cabin and call her, her number coming all too easily to him as he walked through the Tokyo's dark alleys.
It took him some long minutes to reach his young friend that night, his steps guiding him as his mind was immersed in the reverie of the words he exchanged with Kagome during that call. He went in through one side of the house, avoiding all the mess in the way, knocking once before entering… only to find a dark and solitary place.
"Shippo?" He asked, but received only silence. There weren't many rooms where he could be, for they only used the main room, where they also usually slept in, and the bathroom, that lucky for them still had running water, as did the little kitchen which they didn't bother much with. That had been a crucial detail which made them stay there. "Crap."
He didn't want to have to go out looking for him, much less to the place he thought he could be at. He dropped the bag with the instant soups by the camp stove they usually boiled water on, then laid on the mattress they had on the floor. He would wait a little, only a little, while resting, and if Shippo wasn't here in that time, he would go after him. He sighed before the idea.
Fucking horny teenager. He thought.
Then, he closed his eyes. He didn't expect to sleep, yet he did, and when he realized it, he jumped. His first thought was of the boy, as he sat straight bolt on the mattress, his eyes noticing there was a light on, coming from one of the lamps they often used. Then, he found Shippo, slurping the soup noodles he had brought.
"Oh, you are awake." He said with his mouth full." I thought you'd sleep until morning."
"Where were you at this hour?" Was the answer he received. "And I've told you to not talk while you eat."
The room was filled with silence.
"Shippo?" He insisted, yet the boy gestured him with a hand to wait, since he was still chewing. "Right, of course." Excuses, he thought, then smiled.
He took the opportunity to stretch, then stepped closer to the camp stove they usually boiled water on, to pour some inside his own instant soup cup.
"So, what have you done today?" He asked once he took a seat by Shippo's side, as he waited for his noodles to be ready.
"Not much." The boy accepted, a growing guilt in his gaze. "I studied, and studied all that you left me, finished some math exercises, although I think they must be wrong."
"I'll check them later." He said, moving the instant soup cup a bit, as if such an action could add haste to the process; his stomach was grumbling.
"And you?" Came the boy's question, made out of politeness, albeit he could feel a certain genuine worry mixed in.
"Same as you, not much. Just a couple of hours in the agency for family and friends." He explained.
"So, who did you have to escort today?" Shippo was particularly curious.
"You know I can't talk about that kind of work. It's confidential." He said, and it was the true… albeit he also preferred not to talk about Kikyo.
One glance was enough to catch Shippo's eye gesture, as if mocking him, which resulted in a funny expression given his mouth was still full of noodles.
"I can tell you that it was a woman, and that we went shopping." Indeed, it was all he could say.
"Was she pretty?" He asked, after rather swallowing the rest of what he was still chewing in order to avoid breaking the rule again.
"She was." It was true as well.
"Did you like her?" That seemed especially important to him.
"Not in the same way you like Soten." He took the chance to turn the topic on him. "You went to see her, didn't you?"
Suddenly, the soup in his hands was much more interesting to Shippo than what InuYasha may had done in the day, something the latter found quite funny, and thought that indeed, his guess had been right.
"So?" He insisted.
"Just for a bit." Shippo muttered, albeit high enough to be heard.
"How did you see a person just a bit? You see them or not, you cannot do so half-way." InuYasha couldn't hold back the mockery.
"Oh, shut up." Was the boy's response, trying to appear annoyed.
InuYasha took his instant soup cup, then began to stir the noodles with the sticks.
"I meant I went there only for a short while." He clarified. "Besides, I knew her brothers weren't home."
"And, how did you know that?" He couldn't have known any other way than by going near the place.
The boy remained silent for a while, and sighed a couple of times before InuYasha insisted, "Shippo?"
He had to receive another sigh before an answer came, "Soten gave me this." He brought a phone out of his pocket.
InuYasha observed the device in the boy's hands, who gestured him to take it, which he did as he wondered what he should do. A part of him didn't want anything to do with such things, because of how expensive they were for his pocket, and because of that sensation of being tied to something that could take control of his life if he wasn't careful, aside from other matters that had more to do with his job than with the boy. However, should he impose his own views on Shippo?
More times that he would want, he felt like a father.
"Do you have to pay for it?" Was the first thing he thought to ask, not wanting the boy to have to steal in order to keep it.
"I don't. She said it's under her name, so I can use it." He explained, cautious.
InuYasha remained silent for a while, as he stirred the soup with one hand, and held the phone with the other.
"You know that Hiten and Manten are dangerous." He pointed with a gesture to his broken arm.
"I know." Shippo accepted, his tone now stern.
Another pause appeared between them.
InuYasha's gaze fell on the phone again, tightening his hold on it as if it could help him decide, something he was having a hard time to do, since… who was he to know how to deal with a teenager?
He looked at the boy by his side, and into those green eyes that couldn't have been better colored by shyness and hope.
"Here." He handed the device back. "You must promise me you'll be prudent, and that you won't go to Soten's house again."
The boy nodded. He wouldn't be able to keep his word for long, InuYasha knew, but he still believed it was a good thing for him to try.
His thoughts, however, were interrupted by the same boy.
"So, did you like her?"
InuYasha blinked, twice, startled by the simplicity with which the boy turned the topic back on him, or maybe, just returned to the context of the moment. For an instant, he wondered if the years he had lived longer, or his experiences, had influenced the flexibility of his thoughts.
"The truth is, there is another girl I like." He felt like confessing.
Shippo's green eyes seemed to flash, wide open with curiosity, underneath the lamp's light.
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Kagome had the feeling each minute was long like an hour, as she waited for her shift to end. She was fifteen minutes away, but those were the longest fifteen minutes her perception had ever made her experience.
She was currently working on the final pages for that month's release, which even if it may sound common, was full of tension. Once her coworker Koutatsu, who would only speak to her when it was a must, and she were finished with their work, Izumo sensei would review them one last time before closing the portfolio for the chapter, which then would not undergo any changes, even if she were to be haunted by nightmares for months, about how she could have done a better job.
And despite how professionally important the moment was, Kagome couldn't stop thinking that InuYasha would be waiting for her at the end of her work hours; the way how he found out that information notwithstanding, for the answer, albeit not hard to imagine, was not as easy to assimilate.
"I think we can consider this session finished." She heard Izumo sensei´s voice, who was still staring at his own computer.
Kagome nodded, and proceeded to save her work for the day before closing her desk, in order to step outside as soon as possible.
Once she made sure everything was in its place, ready to be used next Monday, she went to the bathroom and looked herself in the mirror, taking advantage of the privacy such a place granted her. There, she saw the image of an anxious woman, whose dark hair was messy, and whose curls were nevertheless giving some cheerfulness to her appearance.
All of her insecurities suddenly sprouted then, as if she had never been in a situation like it before.
So, she closed her eyes, trying to find some manner of peace, breathing deeply, filling her lungs until they could hold no more, to then gently let it all out, completing a sort of therapy to calm herself down that should had required more time, time her anxiety wasn't giving her. Her gaze returned to the mirror then, her fingers quickly shaping her hair into something she felt more comfortable with, to then apply to her lips a thin layer of shine with a lipstick, which helped her feel more confident.
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To be continued.
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A/N
It is my custom to write chapters ahead of schedule, so that I can continue with the story and still have some room to go back and correct something if necessary. Today, I reviewed this chapter, which I had written a while ago, and had a very good time doing it; I hope that you did too.
A kiss,
Anyara.
This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart