KOTODAMA

"The soul that resides within words."

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Chapter XVII

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"I yearned for that kiss, the same way I asked, greedily, for eternity to remain inside you."

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Kagome's gaze was fixed on the lines she had traced a few moments ago. The apartment was immersed in silence now, one newly born, but that made her assume her friend Ayumi was asleep. It was in that moment when she realized the silence extended beyond her apartment, onto the streets outside… and InuYasha, sitting on her bed. She looked at one side, and found him laying there instead, sideways, and her first reaction was to be surprised; When did he fall asleep?

She turned on her chair, and observed him there, a short distance away; he seemed relaxed, lost in his sleep, and she couldn't help having the feeling such a picture was one of the ones she had yet to draw, but that resided in her mind. She wondered then, if she wasn't seeing future moments, yet such an idea was soon discarded; the story in her head was set in a different era, and with a supernatural being… not that InuYasha's beauty wasn't as supernatural, she considered then; there was an emotive heart beneath his outer layers of reserve and disinterest, and maybe… the soul of an idealist. She thought about taking her sketchbook out, and trace some lines with his sleeping figure as reference, yet she held back, afraid of waking him up.

She stood up then, as silently as she could, to reach for the blanket and cover him. Then, she observed him for a moment longer before turning off the lights and step out of the room.

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InuYasha was used to sleeping little, given his working hours; maybe that was why, when he had the chance, and his mind wasn't programmed to waking him up early, he would naturally drift off to sleep, resting for all that owed time. That particular night seemed to be one of them, so much that even his dreams remained nitid and shaped when he woke up. It took him a moment to realize the place around him was silent, and as he gently opened his eyes, the penumbra-veiled surroundings felt familiar. He allowed himself a deep breath then, taking in and holding that scent, that memory-arousing scent; it was hers, Kagome's, one he could recognize hundreds of meters away, even if she had to still cross the well.

The well?

He opened his eyes wide then, sitting bolt upright on where he was laying before, something he soon recognized as a bed. It took a moment for his thoughts to become clearer, reminding him of Kagome, her friend Ayumi and the room he was in. His hand reached out to his left then, recalling there should be a lamp there, and when the dim light flooded the room, he realized that strange thought must have been part of the dream he had; it made him shake his head, thinking he must still be tired. That awareness of himself, however, led his thoughts towards Kagome, and to observe the room he was in, quickly realizing she wasn't in. It made sense, he considered, since he fell asleep on her bed… yet that very notion felt foreign to him, given how rarely he would ever lower his guard like this.

He was in trouble, he told himself, albeit it wasn't the kind of trouble he was used to.

He stood up then, fast, thinking on leaving, yet his steps were halted by the traces Kagome drew on her sketchbook… and he felt drawn in, seeing himself there, his figure part of a scene filled with an emotion so overwhelming it took his breath away; it was simple, emotional, and InuYasha knew immediately it had to do with the story Kagome was weaving… yet to see himself there, being embraced by her, it filled his chest fully. Somehow, at some point, both real and fictional thoughts became one, inside him, yet he knew, quite certainly, just how beautiful it was to remember the moment he had fallen in love with her.

Before that notion, he smiled, then became scared, taking a step back, his breathing now ragged. The best would be to leave, he told himself, to leave and go back to reality.

He stepped out and went through the short corridor connecting to the living room, the darkness around him broken by a dim light coming from the genkan, and that same light allowed him to recognize Kagome's figure, curl in on herself on a futon placed in the middle of the room. InuYasha stood there, pondering if he should wake her up so she could sleep on her bed, yet a selfish desire made him just stay there, contemplating her sleep. He crouched and remained silent, even controlling his own breathing in order to emit the slightest of sounds, as to listen to hers, emotion swelling his chest again. He reached out with a hand then, and let it hover over Kagome's mouth, nothing the warmth of her breath. It was hard to know if that so towering yearning was due to his dream, to the drawing, or due to the solitude he was always in.

"Are you leaving?" He heard behind him, and turned to see Ayumi, standing by the corridor.

InuYasha stood back up, and nodded in response, trying to dissimulate how he had just been discovered in the middle of a moment her felt far too intimate.

"I've got work to do," he whispered as his hands set his satchel in place before starting towards the door. Ayumi remained silent, and then InuYasha turned around, "tell her I'll see her in a couple of days."

She parted her lips, as if about to say something, yet she just closed her mouth and nodded.

Ayumi stayed like that, in silence after that man left, her gaze now on her sleeping friend. She had the feeling of being witness to an event that would change Kagome's life, only to then wonder if she should wake her up and tell her to go to bed. She opted not to, however, since knowing her, Kagome would most probably have a hard time falling asleep again and would instead spend the night drawing, or something like that.

She returned to her room next, and checked the hour on her phone; it was two minutes to five in the morning. Who works at five in the morning?

She wasn't naïve, she knew there were all kinds of jobs, yet given InuYasha's appearance, without a jacket for the cold, and worn-down sport shoes that were screaming to be replaced, she could only think he may be a buraku, and for Kagome's sake, she hoped that wasn't the case. If her own parents were to find out they would ban her from seeing her friend.

She knew there was a fair bit of unfairness in said discrimination, and one could even say it had no place in the times they were living… yet reality said otherwise.

She would ask Kagome in the morning, and hoped her friend wouldn't get mad at her.

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Kagome didn't consider herself a complex person, and in fact she believed her life to be as complex as the life of eighty percent of the people in her country; that didn't deter her from wondering, however, if her existence was complex, or it was she herself, her mind and thoughts what made some days unbearable. This very same day, without much to do than tidying up her room, doing one week worth of laundry and then decide between drawing during the afternoon or laying on the couch to watch one of the shows she followed, she felt as if the world was encroaching on her. It wasn't new to her to have days like these, and albeit they weren't too numerous, they were still more than she would like; everything around her was impossible to bear because nothing quite fit what she considered to be perfect, or acceptable, not even her last drawing of InuYasha, which was probably what she found the most jarring. Maybe it was that maelstrom in her mind what made her accept Sango's invitation, without complaints. Her childhood friend had sent her a few messages after meeting her by chance one afternoon, a chance whose circumstances Kagome preferred not to think about, and had told her she'd give her a heads up, to meet for lunch, once her shifts were more agreeable one day.

Today was that day.

Kagome began with the chores still-to-do inside the apartment she shared with Ayumi, while thinking about what she should wear to meet Sango. She had a skirt that hugged her form beautifully, and that would go quite well with the pantyhose with a flower pattern that she got that same week. Her thoughts, however, would take her almost inevitably to the one in a hundred possibility of finding him, a notion she had to shake her head to get rid of. She knew, however, that the only reason she told Sango to meet her in the Kabukicho district, was for that one shred of a hidden hope.

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To InuYasha, the world seemed too small a space to live for him, and experience what many define as happiness; every time he felt close to reaching that emotion, something would get in the way, reminding him of the small fishbowl he lived in, a place where only the bigger fish got to eat, and to swim wherever they wanted. He could become one of those fishes, so Naraku's offer implied, an offer he would repeat every time they were close. However, InuYasha knew that to give in to that possibility was like allowing a dark deity to take hold of his soul through that deceptive wish.

Such were his reflections as he remained hidden amidst shadows, for the umpteenth day, in search of Muso, and so complete the task Naraku had given him. Throughout those days, he had to spare time for other minor jobs, which were what was putting food on the table for Shippo and him; the boy was learning from his lessons faster every day, which brought him as much joy as worry… for the boy would soon need a more consistent teacher than him. The thought made him sigh, as his mind attempted to trace a plan to procure the boy a better path than his own. On top of that, also, there was the fact that he hadn't been able to even entertain the idea of reaching out to Kagome; the very notion of her name would place in his mind the picture of a girl who seemed far too sweet for the real, and darker world he knew.

Most probably, it was best for them both if he were to never see her again.

He focused once again on his task, even more so now that he was able to see some activity in front of the establishment ran by Yura. At the beginning he saw only two apprentices, the same ones who had been with the woman a few mornings ago, which made him to reminisce the time Jakotsu and he would only sleep during the hours the Kyomu would close, which would barely reach four… but even so, back then everything seemed easier to deal with, despite such circumstances. It was then when he caught sight of Muso Zanyo, speaking to one of the younger boys. InuYasha felt his body tensing, as if he were about to face a great battle, a reasoning he found strange however; he never made allegories of that kind in his mind. He furrowed his brow a moment, thinking that maybe it was Kagome's influence that was making him weird. It was annoying, he felt, how hard it as for him to remember the soothing warmth of the place she lived in, and how much she would seem out of place if he were to take her to the place he usually slept in. Nothing in his possession, he realized, could give her the bare minimum of care.

There, he observed how Muso gave the boy two taps on his back, a gesture InuYasha recognized immediately as one of command, an order that must be followed and that now Muse expected to see completed. When the man stood alone, and started to light up a cig, InuYasha thought it was his chance to deliver the envelop he kept on his pocket; he fingered it, then lowered his hood before coming out of his hiding spot to shorten the distance between him and his objective. A few steps later, however, he noted Muso becoming distracted with something, or someone, who was approaching him through the alley, a somehow mocking smile on his face that forced him to look in the same direction. The vision, there, made him stumble and stop for an instant, stunned and confused.

What was she doing here? Was she imagining her? InuYasha refused the latter; Kagome was walking by another woman's side, one he remembered from the other day when they went out for dinner.

Muso stepped towards them, his gaze shamelessly looking Kagome up and down; she was especially beautiful today, with that outfit she was wearing; an autumn-orange dress, and black tights decorating her legs with a flower pattern. The man spoke to them, and InuYasha noted he believed he could convince them of stepping into his establishment. His gut turned inside him, the same way it turned when he had seen Kagome entering the Kyomu, taken by Renkotsu. He approached them before he could think, stepping between them and Muso with a hand on his chest, looking into his eyes before speaking.

"I think you have enough material for one night," he said, his tone stern and to the point, with a hum like the one of a sword right before cutting.

Muso looked at the hand resting on his chest, and realized there was something in it. He returned InuYasha's gaze and answered, "I do, I think."

"That's what I thought." InuYasha closed the deal both men had just agreed to.

After that he pulled his hand back, carefully slipping the envelope he had to deliver inside the pocket of Muso's jacket.

Then, he turned around; Kagome was blushing furiously, something he could only consider one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen.

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To be continued.

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A/N

Concept

Buraku: Person whose job is of a kind that is considered impure, or that is descendant of someone who dedicated themselves to that kind of work (people working at slaughterhouses, mortuaries, tanneries, etc.)

I hope you've enjoyed the chapter, and that you tell me in the comments.

Kisses,

Anyara

This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart