KOTODAMA
"The soul that resides within words"
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Chapter XX
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"Magic is what happens when two hearts resonate harmonically, and with the same intensity"
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InuYasha's gaze followed Kagome as she made her way to her room, and contrary to what anyone would think, coming from her, he felt it like the most natural thing in the world. Kagome had that ability, something he had noted since first meeting her, after she followed him through that street showering him with questions that shouldn't happen between two perfect strangers, yet that felt, much like everything, fitting.
He stood up, and started down the corridor leading to her room, his steps immersed in a well-received silence that seemed to be there just to soothe their nerves. He stopped at the door's frame, in the same way as the last time he was here.
"Come in, don't be shy," Kagome encouraged him, as she looked for something inside a drawer of her desk, "I'm sorry about the mess, I went out and forgot to clean up a bit."
InuYasha only saw a few pieces of clothing on the bed, and some sheets of paper on the desk; everything else seemed in order.
"You call this a mess?" He wondered out loud.
Kagome looked at the clothes on the bed, and shrugged.
"Well, a bit," She conceded, and dropped the topic right after, extending a white envelope to him which had his name written; InuYasha. "Here, this is yours."
InuYasha observed the envelope, and knew what it was almost immediately.
"Why? Are you terminating our deal?" He smiled softly, trying to appear amused. For some reason, he considered that his time by Kagome's side had been paid already, only by being with her.
"No. But I don't want to leave debts unpaid." She made a delicate gesture, tilting her head slightly to one of her shoulders, as she shook the envelope in the air.
"You owe me no debts." InuYasha felt that phrase held a truth that went beyond the business deal they had from the start. He knew it absurd, yet emotions did not necessarily agree with reason sometimes.
"C'mon, take it. It'll set me at ease," she insisted, "buy Shippo something," she added, her voice curling up cheerfully.
In that moment, InuYasha had an idea.
"I think I know what I'll do with the money, as long as you come with me," he expressed, not making an attempt to reach for the envelope yet.
Kagome smiled with a certain mischievous joy; to think about being with InuYasha again made her happy, she could not deny.
"When?" She inquired. It didn't matter, however, she was going to say yes anyway.
InuYasha became surprised when he noted how Kagome did not wonder about where he would take her. Her gestures of trust, overwhelmed him almost as much as they filled him with a certain uncharted glee.
"Tomorrow morning, sounds good?" InuYasha tried to hide the anxiety he was starting to feel, and did so by approaching Kagome's desk, his gaze falling on some of her drawings.
"Hmm… let me think." Kagome softly tapped her chin with a corner of the envelope, something InuYasha observed sideways, partially losing himself in how pleasant that gesture was. He waited, silently, for her answer, until he caught her smiling with that light that she seemed to give out naturally, and of which he felt himself an absolute follower. "Tomorrow sounds good." She extended him the envelope again.
"Give it to me tomorrow," was the only reply InuYasha gave her.
Kagome pondered it for a second, then nodded, slipping the envelope inside the drawer it came from once again. Like that, she came to stand close to InuYasha, while he observed her last drawings she had been working on.
"Tell me about this story," he requested, as his hands gently moved aside the sheets on top to get access to those lying underneath.
Kagome fell silent for a moment. It wasn't easy for her to talk about everything living in her mind since she had use of memory, and even harder to describe how the story she was creating, was composed from hints and slivers that would appear in her head, like epiphanies that she would simply recognize as truths, from somewhere. She had told InuYasha some of it, just enough for him to understand why the drawings looked so much like him; even so, she was still afraid of what someone else, anyone really, would think of this particular feature of hers.
"You'll think I'm crazy." the simplicity with which she strung the phrase was a stark contrast to its underlying meaning.
InuYasha looked at her, there, by his side. Kagome, barefoot, could barely stand above his shoulder.
"It would surprise you what I'm able to understand." That phrase, much like Kagome's, was voiced free of care, yet its contents were far stronger, heavier.
"I weave ideas. I draw scenes I see in my mind, out of order, like a movie you watch fragment by fragment," she began to say, her hands drawn to her own work, caressing the traces of one in particular, where InuYasha was the protagonist, "then I try to put them in order, so that they follow each other, even if right now they lack a solid logic."
"When did you start to shape it?" InuYasha inquired further.
The questions seemed completely coherent in the conversation, yet Kagome knew what it came now was actually the most complex part; to answer it. She shrugged in a slow gesture, which seemed destined to protect herself from what he may say next.
"In truth, I did not shape it in the way one creates something from their imagination," she replied with sincerity, "it's more of something that came with me, as if it were a story I already knew of."
Her fingers remained there, caressing the dry ink on the paper, as she consciously avoided looking at him.
"Like a dream?" InuYasha sought to know, recalling his own dreams.
Kagome's gaze found him then, and he saw right there, how his words seemed to lit a light in her eyes.
"Yes; like day-dreaming." She smiled at him, and InuYasha saw then how a thought brightened her gaze even further. "By the way!" She voiced, her right finger pointing to her temple in a gesture that seemed to try to keep an idea from slipping away.
InuYasha's attention was pulled to how she brought forth a sketchbook, a pen, and began to trace a few lines. He remained silent, for he was already used to that part of Kagome, his eyes following her movements closely as she drew on the desk, until she spoke to him.
"Look at me," she said, almost like an order. InuYasha smiled with a certain complaining air.
"Ordering me around so soon?" An amusing comment, it was, given the friendship that was forming between them.
"Oh, I'm sorry. But don't smile." The apology seemed to cancel itself out.
InuYasha feigned being annoyed, yet Kagome appeared far from caring, or being able to pay attention to his reaction; so immersed she was in the task she had imposed herself. Hence, InuYasha, seeing himself defeated by a sheet of paper and a pen, just leaned towards her slightly, to see what she was drawing.
"Those are some big fangs," he voiced, a bit surprised.
"I know; they are magnificent." Kagome seemed to be enjoying herself.
"So, this was in your head now?" InuYasha observed how she was tracing a rough sketch of him, but with features that brought a beast, rather, to mind.
"Not exactly," Kagome replied, then made a brief pause as she worked on some details around the cheeks of the drawing. "I saw you, or it, when you mentioned out there that thing about being a demon. It appeared in my mind, and I thought I had to capture it on paper."
InuYasha observed a bit further, and noted how Kagome's drawing pace slowed down. He decided that it would be best to leave her to finish weaving her idea, so he sought distraction in the drawings she had on her desk, rummaging through them a bit more, until he found the same picture he had seen back when he had fallen asleep in that same room; Kagome, embracing him in what seemed to be a gesture that caught him by surprise. InuYasha found himself thinking then, that he would probably feel just as surprised if she were to approach him in that manner. He held back a sigh then, trying to keep his ideas a secret.
He looked through the paper some more, until he found a picture of a well in the middle of a forest. He noticed immediately how that drawing tugged at him. He had seen it, he knew it. And then, he recalled he had dreamed it. InuYasha wasn't one to look for enigmatic answers; his life had been far too grounded, and had forced him to face reality far too much to have the luxury of entertaining questions he couldn't see clearly. However, since Kagome entered his life, he was now able to perceive something one could call magic.
"And this?" His inquire was out of instinct, uttered low. InuYasha seemed to want to keep his own uncertainty as a hermetic secret that went beyond their current state of being left alone, together. He seemed to want to communicate only through his thoughts.
Kagome took in the drawing he was showing her.
"To be honest, I'm not sure," she began to say, "It appears in my mind like that; a well amidst the forest, and I know that my protagonist…"
"That is to say, you," InuYasha corrected her, showing her the drawing where they both appeared, together in a hug.
"Well, yes," Kagome preferred to ignore the emotional connotations that picture brought with it, "The fact is that in the temple I grew up in, there is a pagoda with a well just like it." she tapped the drawing with her fingers, which came to lay just a few centimeters from InuYasha's.
However, none of them shortened that distance as a silence filled the room. Kagome had the feeling of losing something, as if the space between them were to split open, and them, apart, until they were unable to recognize each other.
"And you, where did you grow up?" Kagome's question was meant to end that sensation of emptiness, her hand leaving the drawing as she voiced it out, and her body turning to InuYasha, a gesture showing how he had her full attention.
He remained silent for a moment. Kagome even came to think the question had made him uncomfortable; InuYasha seemed to have gone far away, deep inside his memories. The words, explaining she didn't really need an answer, came to lay at the tip of her tongue; yes, she was curious, but it wasn't as important as the trust she wished to transmit him. In the end, however, he spoke before she could voice such a thought.
"My mother and I lived at a small house, in a district I really liked," he began, still immersed in the traces Kagome had left on that sheet of paper, "every day, when coming out of the nursery, she would take me to a nearby park, and help me climb a wall that was designed for it," he continued, "and at night, she would read me a book, full of tales and with some illustrations."
"It's a nice memory," Kagome mentioned, yet she did note how InuYasha never spoke about his father.
"It is," he agreed. He felt like he could share every and any detail of his life to this strange girl, that somehow landed in his life. However, it wasn't his intention to say anything else.
"Have you ever gone back, to that district?" Kagome inquired further.
InuYasha furrowed his brow, almost imperceptibly.
"I can't recall where it is," he lied.
Kagome had the feeling she was approaching a barrier of sorts, and did not want to continue that way. She did continue, however, weaving the conversation, but from another angle, one that may allow them to ease the tension of the moment.
"I'm still waiting for you to tell me why Kaede calls you 'dog-boy'" she attempted.
InuYasha looked at her, and took an instant to understand the way Kagome was leading him to a safe place, safer than his current memories. A soft curl appeared on his lips, feeling grateful for such subtlety she wielded. His heartbeat sped up then, as he realized how everything that he could see in her was becoming larger, more important; like opening a door to a new world that he was dying to explore, and that even so, his feet grounded him at the frame.
"I'm sorry; another time," InuYasha tried to refuse as kindly as he could, trying to answer the kindness she had just showed him.
He saw her pout, and couldn't help noting how that gesture brought relief to his chest.
"It's never 'that' time," she complained.
"I'll tell you, some day," his words were not meant to comfort her, but rather, spur the warrior spirit he could see in her.
"I'll have grandchildren and I'll be old and wrinkled before that happens," she mocked, and InuYasha thought he wished to be able to remain by her side long enough, to see that, to see her as a grandmother. He adverted his eyes then, for a moment, as to not become lost in that wish.
"It's late. I should go," he voiced.
Silence flooded the room once again, between them. Nor Kagome, nor InuYasha, knew exactly what they were waiting for, amidst that silence.
"Of course," she accepted, finally, her voice thin as if not wanting her words to be at an audible level.
InuYasha nodded, casting one last look at the drawing of the well. Next, he started towards the corridor, in search of the door. Kagome observed him in silence; he was tall, something she already knew. His hair, long and silver-hued, which she knew too. However, it was the first time she noted how his steps were soft, yet confident, and that the way he had of leaning forward slightly was meant to not impose with his presence. He was beautiful.
They stopped when they reached the table where their two cups of coffee laid, half-full. They were cold now, something Kagome could not help regretting.
"You have not finished your coffee," she commented.
InuYasha observed the cup, then picked it up before taking a large sip of the dark liquid, that was somewhat lukewarm.
"There," he claimed, noting the strong flavor of the coffee in his mouth. It would grant him the energy he needed to get back to the place where he lived with Shippo.
"You are crazy," Kagome seemed surprised, and amused in equal shares.
"Maybe," he shrugged.
After that, he left the cup on the table, and started towards the genkan to put his shoes on. Kagome remained standing, by his side, and when InuYasha reached for the door and opened it, she followed him closely.
"You shouldn't go out, it's cold," he warned her as soon as he felt the air outside the apartment.
"I'll just accompany you until here." Kagome traced an imaginary line in front of her feet, half-meter away from the door.
InuYasha observed her, as she kept her gaze on her feet, then followed the gesture she made as she lifted her gaze, until meeting his eyes.
"I'll come for you tomorrow," he voiced then, and Kagome nodded, "I'll be here around eleven," he continued, and she nodded again.
InuYasha smiled, almost like a last gesture of goodbye. He couldn't stop looking at her. He didn't want to leave her. And maybe, because of that emotion that found nest inside him, with such force his reason was unable to bear it, was that he leaned forward, to Kagome, and rested his lips on hers in a such a subtle caress, that could have been a sigh. He looked into her eyes, and saw the surprise in them. He leaned back, then, a smile on his features that Kagome thought enigmatic, and stepped out of the apartment.
He closed the door as he left.
Kagome remained there, standing, muted, with her heartbeat resonating in her ears.
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To be continued.
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A/N
I really enjoyed writing this chapter; it flowed without issues, I think, with some subtle hints left here and there, that should take a more defined shape at some point. I also loved that unexpected, brief, and sweet, touch of their lips.
Thank you for reading, and leaving comments.
Anyara
This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart