"Which one of you muppets did it?" Tony Gates asked his team as DC Kate Fleming watched the AC-12 officer walk off. She felt sorry for him. He was only doing what he had been told to do and by the sounds of it, someone had put some dog shit in his car.
"I'm Spartacus," DS Dot Cotton, the tall lanky northerner said.
"No, I'm Spartacus," DC Nigel Morton bantered, much to the amusement of TO-20.
Kate rolled her eyes at their immaturity. She was beginning to wish she'd never been moved from CID. Whilst she had thought it a great opportunity at the time to work with one of the best officers in the force, she was disappointed at this team's boyish behaviour.
Unable to be in the same room as her colleagues, Kate left and ran after the anti-corruption officer via a detour to the cleaners cupboard. Steve Arnott he'd told her his name was. There had been a spark of attraction between them when they'd first met but she had ignored it, conscious of what her team would say as Arnott was investigating their SIO.
"I thought you might like some help," Steve heard a female voice say. He looked up to see Kate, the attractive DC that had caught his eye and who happened to work on TO-20. She was carrying several bottles of spray, cloths and bin bags.
He smiled at the Good Samaritan who had appeared just at the right moment. "Cheers," he said.
Kate came round to the drivers seat of the car where Steve was standing. "Oh my god," she said, horrified at what she saw. "Is that-,".
"Human?" Interrupted Steve. "Think so,".
"That's disgusting," Kate muttered, appalled at her colleagues.
"Any idea who did it?".
"No," replied Kate. "And I don't want to know either,".
"Can I have a bin bag?" Steve asked. He would use it to pick up the turd that now adorned his car seat in the way dog walkers picked up their own dog's shit.
"Sure," replied Kate as she tore a bag off the roll.
"At least it's not warm," Steve joked as he picked the poo up. There was no way he would make Kate do that bit of the task.
Kate cringed but at least she smiled at his joke. "Put it in one of those big bins over there," she suggested as Steve knotted the bag. He saw the dumpster that Kate was indicating and quickly disposed of the excrement.
Kate meanwhile gave the car seat a good spray and wiped it clean.
"Thanks," said Steve appreciatively when he saw her helping out. "Can I borrow another bin bag to sit on?".
Kate tore off another bag and placed it on the driver's seat. "That's about as good as we can get it I think," she said.
"It's fine," Steve replied. "I'm heading straight to put it through a valet service," he explained as he got ready to leave.
"Good idea," Kate agreed as she picked up the bottles and other stuff, ready to return them to the cleaner.
"Thanks again," Steve said as he prepared to leave. The sooner he got away from this police station the better. There was just one thing he wanted to try though before he departed. "Kate?".
She turned back to face him.
"Are you free for that pizza and Rioja you mentioned the other day?" he asked. He'd already asked her out once and she had rebuffed him rather sharply. But he fancied his luck again, hoping she might have changed her mind about him. "Seems the least I can do after you helped clean the shit up!".
"I actually prefer Indian," Kate admitted.
"Me too," Steve agreed.
Kate looked at Steve. She didn't usually date coppers because most of them were like Dot and Nige. Complete twats. But this one in front of her seemed a bit different. And worth a try.
"The Pink Elephant in the middle of town," Kate instructed. It was her favourite place to eat.
"7:30?" Steve asked hopefully.
"See you later," Kate said before walking off.
Although he was getting into a car that had just had human excrement removed from it, Steve had a huge smile on his face. He'd succeeded in getting a date from the woman he really rather liked.