Just go
Xaden's POVThey left two days ago.
Damn... two days.
I'm stuck in this useless meeting with the other leaders, and I can't seem to concentrate.
You know it's not my fault, don't you, Shadowed One?
I know I can't blame Sgayle for my current predicament. It's all on me.
I keep thinking of her. Away. With Dain Fucking Aetos. His lips on hers, like it had happened at Threshing.
Damn.
"Riorson? Are you with us?" Nyla says, annoyed.
"Yes, sorry, I got distracted," I reply absentmindedly.
Nyla raises an eyebrow. "Strange," she mumbles softly.
I see Garrick studying me intently.
The meeting drags on forever about useless things like War Games, lessons, and booking training mats for each squad.
After what feels like wasted hours, we are finally free.
Garrick joins me, and Bodhi follows as we head toward the fly field.
They exchange sideways glances, thinking I won't notice.
"What's up?" I ask abruptly.
"Are you really asking us?" Bodhi grins.
"You've been out of it since yesterday. Care to share?" Garrick presses.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Really? Everyone can feel your discomfort, Wingleader, not just me. Is Sgayle siding with them too?
I keep moving toward the deserted fly field, leaving them behind.
"See if you can talk to him," I hear Bodhi whisper to Garrick.
I've almost reached Sgayle when Garrick catches up with me.
"You know we're on your side, right? And I'm not just talking about our 'activities'." He's watching me intently, a shadow of concern crossing his face for an instant. But I saw it.
"Sorrengale." He adds, knowing me too well.
"What about her?" I maintain my facade.
"There's something between you two, and I'm not just talking about you wanting to fuck her senseless."
"I don't..." I start.
"Stop! Let me finish first. As if it is not clear that you want her. You never looked at someone like you do at her. You never showed anyone how to hurt you like you do every time on that sparring mat with her. The way she talks to you—there's something more. And she's clearly trying to push you toward that. So why are you fighting it?" Garrick rarely uses such a harsh and serious tone with me.
"I..."
He waits for me to finish.
"She is a Sorrengale. The General's daughter," I begin reluctantly. Not caring to deny what he said.
"And Brennan's sister, too," he adds immediately.
"That's probably even worse," I say with a tight, one-sided smile.
"I know that's not what's stopping you. Even if I want to be present when he finds out. Am I wrong?" He presses with a gentle smile.
"I..." I am at a loss for words. Garrick is my closest friend, my sidekick, my real shadow. He knows me better than anyone else here. Better than Liam, better than Bodhi. To them, I'm an older brother; to him... we are equals.
"You're scared for her."
In a moment, I grab him by the collar. "Leave me," I hiss.
The asshole bursts into laughter.
"That's even better, you're scared of HER," he repeats.
I'm lost.
You know he's right, don't you? Sgayle insists with a strangely soft tone she never uses with me.
"She's not ready. We're already tethered because of our dragons; that may risk everything. Everything." It's like words go out like a flood. "And I don't want her in danger. Aetos is a much safer choice for her. You know it. And then? What if she's like her mother?" The thought itself is so far from who she really is. A glitch of her unmatched boots on that parapet flashes in my mind.
"She is Brennan's sister, and he always said she's the best of them. You know she'll choose the right side. And I saw the look you gave Aetos on this field when he kissed her. Gods, I thought you would have killed him right there, in his father's and the General's presence. You need someone too, Xaden. And she might be the one." He keeps going gently.
"Don't push her away; let her choose where to stand."
I release his jacket and turn, looking into the distance.
"I miss her," I admit.
You know I'm ready when you are, don't you, Shadowed One? We could be there by evening if we leave now. I sense her excitement.
"I've got your back, brother." Garrick puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Always," I smile at him.
"Always," he repeats seriously.
"But you need to get laid," he adds, laughing heartily. "And I won't do it for you."
"Oh, fuck you!" I laugh.
"I'm leaving. You..." but Garrick interrupts with the efficiency I'm so fond of, "I know, I know. You don't have to worry. I'll say Sgayle was responsible for your leave."
Hey! It's not my fault you can't get the little Sorrengale out of your head!
Okay, we go. I send the thought to Sgayle through our bond. You will have dinner with your monstrous mate.
Oh, I wouldn't call him that if I were you, even if the little Silver One might plead for him to let you live.
As if you wouldn't yourself... I add, not so confidently.
Would I? She teases.