AN. It's been a long time since I updated this story. A little more than a year, to be exact, but I'm finally back! Last year was full of unexpected twists and I was a bit scatterbrained, but I'm determined to finish this fic and I want to do it right, so I'll be focusing on it from now on.
Thank you for hanging on and for being so patient. You'll notice this chapter is longer than the previous ones. Don't get used to it. I'll be going to the usual format from now on.
Alright, I've kept you enough. Hope you enjoy.
CHAPTER 11. Trust.
"Are you still going to Penny's after school tomorrow?" Katniss asked as she stepped into the kitchen.
Prim looked up from the small, round cheese she was wrapping. "Yeah, we're doing our homework together."
Katniss smiled. She knew "doing our homework" was just a code for "listening to the Capitol entertainment broadcast on the radio" but she didn't mind. The school in District 12 wasn't very demanding, and Prim and Penny were both doing fine.
"Ok, I'll pick you up after my rounds." Katniss walked over to the kitchen counter and dropped her hunting bag on top of it. "I might get there a little later than usual, but I'll be there, alright?"
"Are you taking Rory out tomorrow?" Prim asked focusing back on her work.
"No." Katniss opened her hunting bag and began rummaging through its contents. "I'm adding a new stop."
Prim's bright blue eyes lit up with excitement. "You have a new customer?"
"Yeah."
"That's great!" Prim exclaimed. "Is it one of the schoolteachers? Is it Mr. Harris?"
Katniss chuckled at her sister's enthusiasm. "No, it's not Mr. Harris," she said pulling a few vegetables out of her bag.
"Oh." Prim tried not to sound disappointed. Mr. Harris, her history teacher, was a single man with a government salary. He sounded like the perfect candidate for her sister's trading route. Reaching out for a second cheese, she asked, "So, where are you going then?"
Looking over her shoulder to face Prim, Katniss said, "Victors' Village."
Prim's mouth dropped. Her eyes, curious and bright, found her sister's. "You're trading with Peeta," she stated.
Katniss nodded. "Yeah."
"Since when?"
"Since yesterday," Katniss explained. Letting go of her bag she turned fully towards Prim. "I ran into him at the bakery a couple days ago, and he asked if I could trade with him."
Prim's brows came together in a frown. "And you're delivering to his house?"
"Yeah. It's easier that way," she stated matter-of-factly. Her first visit to the Village had been a success, but she didn't want Prim to know about her original misgivings. "It's closer to the woods, and there are no peacekeepers to keep tabs on us. It's perfect, really."
Prim nodded, seemingly satisfied with her sister's explanation.
Turning her attention back to the vegetables on the counter, Katniss busied herself with their dinner, quietly peeling and slicing the potatoes and carrots she had brought home from the Hob. She was almost finished when she said, "He has a greenhouse."
"A greenhouse?" Prim squealed. "Where?"
"In his backyard. He's growing vegetables and a few herbs." Katniss explained. "He's asked me to help him find more."
"More what, herbs?"
Leaving her knife on the cutting board, Katniss turned around again. The excitement in Prim's eyes was contagious.
A sly smile settled on Katniss's lips as she said, "Mm-hmm. He only wanted edible ones, but then I suggested growing some medicinal varieties as well."
Forgetting about her cheeses for a moment, Prim stood up and walked over to her sister's side. Her eyes wide as saucers, "You're going to be planting medicinal herbs in Peeta Mellark's greenhouse?"
Katniss beamed. "Yeah! All I have to do is find them and transplant a sample of each kind. He'll grow them in his backyard, and we'll include them in our trade."
Prim crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen counter. "So, you'll give him fresh game, and he'll give you herbs for it?"
Katniss nodded. After dropping her potatoes into a waiting pot, she added, "Well… yeah. That's part of it."
A hint of worry laced Prim's words. "What's the other part?"
"The herbs will be my payment for helping him around the greenhouse every week. The fresh game is a separate arrangement. We'll trade coin or food for that."
Prim nodded. "Have you told Mom yet?"
"What for?" Katniss bristled. "I've been trading with merchants and Seam folk for a long time, Prim. I've never discussed my trading terms with her. Why would I start now?"
Prim shook her head; a hint of a smile turned her lips. "What are you going to do with those medicinal herbs, Katniss?" she asked.
Katniss bit her lip. Prim was right. Ultimately, most of the herbs would be for her mother. It made sense to include her in the selection process.
"I'll talk to her tonight," she promised with a smile. "I'll ask her to make a list of the things she needs the most."
Without another word, Katniss went back to her cooking.
Prim pushed herself away from the counter, walked back to the table, and sat down to finish packing her cheese. She was almost done when she looked up once more, "So... Gale was right, wasn't he?"
The mention of Gale's name made Katniss's back stiffen. "About what?" she asked trying to keep her anger towards her hunting partner out of her voice.
"When he said you knew Peeta."
Katniss turned so quickly her braid hit her chin. "Of course, I know him, Prim!" she snapped, "We went to school together."
Prim rolled her eyes, evidently unimpressed by her sister's angry tone. "You go to school with a lot of people, Katniss, and I've never seen you show any interest in any of them." Bright blue eyes found anxious grey. "You were worried about Peeta, though," Prim stated.
Katniss huffed, she was about to protest when Prim held her hand up. "I watched his Game with you, remember?"
Katniss pressed her lips together, stubbornly refusing to give voice to what her sister already knew.
Prim let out a deep breath. Looking at the perfectly wrapped cheeses on the table, she said, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Just… don't act like I don't know what I'm talking about, ok?"
Katniss dropped her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. She had spent a long time keeping this secret to herself, carrying the remorse of never thanking Peeta.
But things were different now, she had settled matters with the baker's son, and Prim was no longer a child. What was the harm in telling her sister about her connection to their district's youngest victor? It might even simplify things now that she was going to be dealing with him on a regular basis.
Leaving the vegetables to simmer over a gentle flame, Katniss walked over to the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down.
Tenderly, she reached out for Prim's hand and laced their fingers together. "You're right," she whispered squeezing lightly. "I've known Peeta for a long time."
Prim smiled. With a small nod, she encouraged her sister to go on.
Katniss closed her eyes, took a deep breath and released it, slowly, allowing five years of secrets and worry to seep out of her in one long exhale. In the dark, holding on to Prim's hand, she found the strength to finally say the words out loud. "He's the reason we're still here, Prim. He saved our lives."
XXXXX
"What a nice-looking trout!" Hazelle exclaimed.
"And I caught it all by myself," Rory boasted, proudly displaying the fish on the kitchen table for all the world to see.
"Oh, is that right?" his mother asked -pride and amusement bright in her eyes.
Rory nodded vigorously. "It is!" Turning to Katniss who was still standing by the door, Rory asked, "Tell her, Katniss."
"He did," Katniss gladly confirmed, "He used one of our old nets, but he did all the work on his own."
Vick walked into the room. His eyes almost popped out of his face when he saw the fish lying on the table. "Good job, Rory!" he exclaimed giving his older brother an affectionate pat on the back. "I bet Gale's gonna be real pleased when he sees it."
A sense of unease settled in the pit of Katniss's stomach at the mention of her hunting partner. Their last encounters in the woods hadn't been terrible, but things between them were still tense, and she wasn't in the mood to see him just yet.
Eyeing the kitchen clock, she noticed that it was a little later than usual. He's probably on his way back from work, she fretted.
As if reading her thoughts, Hazelle said, "Gale is working the longer shift today, boys. He'll see it once it's cooked."
"But he'll still see how big it is. Right, mamma?" Vick asked.
"Yes, he will," Hazelle confirmed, "I'll cook it in one piece, and he'll see it before we eat it." Running a hand through her middle son's hair, she said, "You did good, Rory."
The twelve-year-old beamed. "Thanks, mamma."
"Now, put the fish in the sink where I can clean it, and go wash yourselves. It's getting late, and you still have your schoolwork to do," Hazelle instructed.
"Yes, mamma," the children answered in unison before following their mother's command.
Right before leaving the room, Rory turned and waved. "See you tomorrow, Katniss."
"See you tomorrow, Katniss!" Vick echoed mimicking his brother's movements.
Katniss chuckled. "See you tomorrow, boys."
A peaceful silence fell upon the room as soon as the children left.
Katniss relaxed against the wall. Now that she knew Gale wasn't about to walk through the door she could stay and talk to Hazelle for a bit.
After checking up on the fish, Hazelle walked over to a washbasin filled with white clothes and pulled out a shirt. "So, how was your day?" she asked as she began scrubbing the collar clean. "Did you manage to get everything done?"
Katniss shrugged. "It was okay, we did enough."
Hazelle nodded. Looking up from her work, she asked, "Is Rory really helping you or is he just getting in the way?"
"He helps," Katniss assured her. "He still has a lot to learn, and sometimes he slows me down, but he's getting there. He did really well in the stream today."
Hazelle's gray eyes shone proudly in the dimly lit room. With a satisfied smile, she went back to her washing, "So, what are your plans for New Year's Eve?"
A cold chill ran down Katniss's spine, with a shiver, she pushed herself away from the wall and straightened her back.
The Everdeens and the Hawthornes didn't do many things together but bringing in the new year as a group had become something of a tradition for the two families.
They had only been singing winter songs and sharing their food and good wishes with each other for the past three years, but it already felt like they'd been doing it their entire lives.
Up until recently, Katniss had believed they would continue the tradition long into the future although, with the way things were between her and Gale right now, she wasn't sure spending the last night of the year together was such a good idea.
Tightening her hold on her hunting bag's straps, Katniss answered. "Um, I don't know... I haven't really thought about it."
"It's next week," Hazelle pointed out. "We should start planning."
Katniss swallowed thickly, she could feel her heart rate spiking as she anxiously searched her mind for something to say or for some excuse to get out of the plan.
Across from her, Hazelle pulled another shirt out of the washbasin and began the process of scrubbing all over again. "He's an idiot," she stated matter-of-factly, breaking the silence which had already begun to stretch. "A hard-headed fool; but he means well, you know?"
Squishing her eyebrows together, Katniss blurted, "What?"
Looking up from her work, Hazelle clarified, "Gale. He's an idiot who means well. You know that, right?"
Dumbfounded, Katniss nodded. In all her years of knowing Hazelle, she had never heard her speak about her son like that, she wondered what was pushing her to do so now.
Encouraged by Katniss's silence, Hazelle went on. "He's my son, and I love him. But I know he's been an ass lately."
Katniss opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Hazelle was right, Gale had been an ass, there was no point in denying it.
"I'm not trying to make excuses for him. He's a grown man, and he can speak for himself," Hazelle continued, "but I know the last thing he wanted was to hurt you." Looking down at her soapy hands, she shook her head. "It's just... The last few months have been full of changes for him, Katniss, and he's, well… confused, I guess."
"Confused?" Katniss scoffed. "About what?"
"You," Hazelle answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Katniss scowled, Hazelle wasn't making any sense. "Why would he be confused about me?"
Hazelle sighed. Katniss followed the movement of her shoulders, watched them relax as the air left her lungs. With a sympathetic smile, the laundress said, "He thinks he's in love with you."
Like a bucketful of ice-cold water being dropped over her head, Hazelle's words washed over Katniss, shocking her and freezing her to the bone.
"What?" Katniss stuttered. "How can that…" Overwhelmed, she pressed her fingertips to her forehead and closed her eyes, desperately trying to stop her head from spinning.
Hazelle's words spun inside her head, bringing up bits and pieces of conversations and exchanges she'd had with Gale over the months.
Tender smiles and easy jokes danced behind Katniss's eyelids followed by resentful looks of anger and despair.
As these memories flashed through her mind, some of the attitudes she'd found so baffling began to make sense; like Gale's odd behavior after the reaping, his rushed visit to her house after Tessa's death or his comments about Peeta.
Even his stubbornness at trying to figure out what her connection to the baker's son was, became clear in her eyes.
She was still shaking her head in denial when she spoke, "Since when?"
"I don't know exactly; about a year, I guess."
"A year!" Katniss blurted out, opening her eyes only to feel a sharp sense of defeat settling on her chest. "How could I not know this?" she mumbled.
"Because you don't see him that way." Hazelle's soft, gentle voice dripped with sadness when she added, "To you, he's just a friend."
"I thought he knew where I stood," Katniss replied, troubled about the direction the conversation had taken, worried that she might have misled her friend in any way.
"He does. You've been very clear about what you want and what you don't want," Hazelle assured her. "But the heart plays tricks on us, Katniss, and men can be stubborn sometimes -Hawthorne men more than most," she added with a smile. "I guess he was hoping you would change your mind."
"But I won't," Katniss declared adamantly. "Even if I ever cared about anyone that way, I wouldn't pursue it. I would never marry them."
Hazelle nodded her understanding. This wasn't the first time Katniss had spoken against marriage and having a family of her own. Gale's mother knew all about the pain, sorrow, and crippling fear that haunted Katniss's dreams.
Drying her soapy hands on a clean towel, Hazelle said, "I know and, for what it's worth, I think Gale knows it too." Dropping the towel on the table, Hazelle made her way to where Katniss stood. Reaching out, she squeezed the girl's arm. "That's why he's been so angry lately. Because he's beginning to accept that you won't change your mind and that, if you ever do, it won't be for him."
Katniss stared at Hazelle's hand on her arm. The gesture was so comforting and tender it made her heart drop. In spite of everything, she cared about Gale, and she loved his family. Hazelle had been nothing but good to her over the years; she hated the disappointment reflected in her slate-gray eyes and the fact that she was the one who had put it there.
But still, Katniss's resolve to avoid marriage was as firm as ever and encouraging Gale's romantic notions just to keep the peace didn't seem like the right thing to do. It wouldn't have been fair on either one of them.
Besides, Katniss didn't need a family, she already had one. She was still responsible for Prim and for her mother. That was more than enough worry for one person.
"I'm sorry," Katniss apologized.
With a shake of her head, Hazelle eased her worry. "Don't be. None of this is your fault." Letting out a deep sight, she spoke again, "And don't worry too much about him. He'll come around. He's an idiot, but he's no fool. He knows your friendship and your partnership are worth a lot more than a bruised ego. Just, do me a favor, be patient with him. Give him some time, alright?"
Swallowing past the knot in her throat, Katniss nodded. Trying to keep the tremor out of her voice, she said, "Thank you for telling me. I honestly thought I was going crazy these past few months."
Hazelle chuckled. "Yeah. I figured as much." Sobering up, she asked, "Tell me something, though. This new customer of yours, our new victor, you trust him?"
With an emphatic nod, Katniss confirmed, "I do."
Hazelle smiled. "Good. That's all I needed to know." Letting go of Katniss's arm, she turned and walked to the washbasin that was still overflowing with clothes. Pulling a new shirt out of the suds, she asked, "So, New Year's, what are you Everdeens bringing?"
XXXXX
"So, which one do you want?" Peeta asked pointing to the different types of pie on display on his kitchen island.
Katniss bit her lip. She had only been trading with him for a few weeks, but choosing her payment was quickly becoming one of her favorite activities.
Cocking her head to the side, she considered her options. It wasn't an easy choice. "I'll take the mushroom with spinach and bacon if that's ok."
"Alright!" Peeta lifted the pie and placed it on a clean tea towel. Reaching across the island, he grabbed two round buns and carefully dropped them on top.
"What are those?" Katniss asked, pointing at the small rolls.
"Left-over cheese buns," Peeta said with a shrug. "I made far too many last week, and I'm getting sick of them. You might as well take them home."
Katniss frowned. "Are you sure? I could give you something else." She opened her hunting bag and began looking for the handful of chestnuts she had found by the river.
Peeta wrapped the baked goods in the tea towel and tied the corners to keep the buns in place. "That's not necessary, Katniss. You just gave me a fat turkey. I think this is an even trade."
Katniss looked at the bunch of vegetables Peeta had brought in from the greenhouse and then back at the bundle in his hands. He was right, it was a fair trade, the two small rolls wouldn't make a big difference. She could always bring something extra for him next time.
"Okay," she agreed.
"A pleasure doing business with you, Miss Everdeen," Peeta intoned, carefully pushing the parcel in Katniss's direction.
Katniss smiled.
She wasn't much of a people person -she had always been more of an introvert who enjoyed the comfortable silences she shared with her closest friends- but there was something about Peeta's easy smile and kind disposition that had instantly broken through her usual barriers.
She didn't know if the effect Peeta had on her was a residue of all the years she'd spent watching him from afar or a result of following his Game so closely. But she knew that she enjoyed spending time with him.
Even if there were times when the low timbre of his voice and the warmth in his sparkling blue eyes turned her into a quivering mess -a baffling feeling that left her flustered and inexplicably wanting for more.
Fortunately, Peeta never took any notice of her discomfort or, if he did, he was good at hiding it. He was always considerate and gentle, he never failed to greet her with a smile, and he made her feel welcome in his home.
She had only helped him in the greenhouse a couple of times, but she already loved the place. Time seemed to fly by when she was there with him surrounded by life and possibility as she transplanted seedlings by digging her hands into the damp earth.
Leaning over the kitchen island, Katniss took the covered pie from Peeta's hands.
Her outstretched fingers brushed briefly over his in the exchange, and she stilled for an instant, allowing a warm tingle to run up her arms.
In one slow, deliberate motion, Peeta backed away, running his hands over the cold marble surface until they reached the counter's edge.
Dragging the bundle the rest of the way, Katniss answered, "You too, Mr. Mellark," as she tried -and failed- to stifle a laugh.
Arching a golden eyebrow, he teased, "You can't do it, can you?"
"I'm sorry," she apologized with a shake of her head, "I've been trading with your father for a long time."
"Yeah, I get it," he said with knowing nod. "There's only one Mr. Mellark in District 12, and, well, I'm not him." Grabbing Katniss's vegetables, he walked to her side of the island. "Here, don't forget these."
Letting go of the pie, Katniss lifted her hunting bag and held it open for him.
Carefully, Peeta placed the vegetables in the bag.
He was standing so close to her she could hear him breathe. Mesmerized, Katniss watched the movement of his chest as it expanded in front of her; followed the fall of his shoulders as he emptied his lungs.
Feeling self-conscious, she looked away and tried to focus on the heavy bag in her hands, but the warmth radiating off of Peeta's body and the trail of woodsy notes in his cologne overpowered her senses. "Thanks," she whispered feeling suddenly lightheaded.
Taking a small step back, Peeta slipped his hands into his back pockets and cleared his throat. "Well, that's it, our last trade of the year."
Katniss nodded. Placing her hunting bag on the tabletop, she asked, "What are you doing for New Year's?"
Peeta shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. I'll probably spend it with my family. You?"
Too busy trying to figure out a way to place the bundle with the pie inside her bag, she mumbled, "I'm going over to Gale's."
"Oh, right," Peeta said, turning on his heels and walking to the other side of the kitchen island.
Looking up, Katniss followed his movements through narrowed eyes. "What?"
Peeta's hand reached for his neck and began rubbing. A nervous chuckle rumbled in his chest.
Katniss's eyes followed the trail of red, angry marks his anxious fingertips were leaving over the pale skin. She wished she could kiss them better.
Startled by her own thoughts, she focused back on the words coming out of his lips.
"Well, isn't he your..." Peeta trailed off not knowing exactly which word to use, boyfriend, sweetheart, beau, betrothed... he didn't know which one was appropriate or which one was worse. They all left the same bitter taste of defeat in his mouth.
Katniss's eyes narrowed even further. "Hunting partner?" she suggested.
Peeta froze. His eyes, bright and alert locked with hers. "That's not what I was going to say."
Lifting her chin in defiance, she declared, "Well, that's all he is." It wasn't exactly true but, with the current state of affairs, it was all she was willing to admit. Softening her tone a little, she explained, "We've been hunting together for a while, and our families are kind of close. So, we usually bring in the new year together."
Peeta nodded. His heart hammered against his chest as he tried to come to terms with what he had just heard. As sweet as Katniss's revelation was, he couldn't bring himself to believe it.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he said, "I always thought you two were closer than that."
She was about to explain that Gale was also her friend when a sudden question popped into her head. "You thought we were... together?" she asked emphasizing the last word.
"Yeah."
A sudden heaviness settled on her shoulders. Dismayed, she reached for her braid and began twisting it between her fingers. "Why would you think that?"
Peeta shrugged. "I don't know. I just..." Intrigued by Katniss's sudden change in mood, he reached back into his memories.
In an instant, his mind was flooded with hundreds of little snippets featuring the two hunters from the Seam. He saw them haggling with merchants, joking with vendors, laughing.
In his most soothing tone, Peeta said, "I remember when you came to the bakery. He was always there, watching over you, following your every move." Leaning forward to rest his folded arms on the countertop, he added, "Sometimes I'd see you two walking around town or trading at the market or the Hob. You looked comfortable together, happy even. The way a couple does."
Like the wispy winter chill, Peeta's words burrowed deep inside her making her shiver. Desperate for comfort, Katniss wrapped her arms around herself, but it was no use, the weather had nothing to do with the emptiness she felt.
She had spent years thinking Gale was her best friend and believing he was on the same page. She knew her comments about love had been clear. But, if passersby and casual observers were getting the wrong idea... maybe, her actions had been misleading.
For the hundredth time since her talk to Hazelle, she berated herself for not noticing the small changes in Gale's attitude until now.
Eager to change the subject, she latched on to the one bit of information she found most intriguing. "You go to the Hob?"
"Yeah," he confirmed bobbing his head up and down. "I used to go to Taryn's stand. She's the only vendor who sells tinctures and pigments."
Across the kitchen island, Katniss's face lit up. She knew Taryn, she was the goatman's niece and an occasional customer. "I get my ink there too," she said.
"Ink? What for?"
Absentmindedly, Katniss began fiddling with the straps of her bag. This wasn't something she usually talked about, but Peeta seemed genuinely interested, and she didn't see the harm in sharing this bit of her past with him.
"My mother's side of the family ran the apothecary in town," she explained, "They kept a book with illustrations and explanations of all the different varieties of plants and their medicinal uses. As the eldest child, my mother decided the book was hers. So, she took it with her when she married my father. He added a few more entries with edible plants." Her voice faltered as she quietly admitted, "I don't know how to draw, but I've added a couple of entries myself."
Peeta's hoarse whisper made her skin tingle. "I'd love to see it sometime."
Fighting the blush spreading through her cheeks, she said, "I'll bring it by."
XXXXX
Katniss relaxed into her seat. A warm sense of contentment swaddled her as she watched Prim, Rory, and Vick huddled around the kitchen table in the Hawthorne home, their cheeks flushed and their eyes aglow while they ladled second servings of lentil soup into their empty bowls.
On the other side of the room, her mother and Hazelle shared a hushed conversation, their voices drowned out by the soothing sound of the fire crackling in the hearth.
With one last gulp, Katniss emptied the teacup she held in her hands. The hot liquid traveled down her throat warming her chest and making her hum in contentment. She had been dreading the new year's gathering but, much to her relief, it was turning out a lot better than she'd thought.
Gale's soft whisper broke through her thoughts. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Her heart dropped. So much for having a pleasant evening, she thought. Hoping she could get out of having this particular conversation, she turned to him. "Gale, I-,"
"Don't worry," he interrupted. "You don't really need to say anything, but I need you to hear what I have to say, alright?"
She wanted to refuse, to excuse herself by saying that this wasn't the right time or place to have what she feared would only be a yelling match, but the sight of Gale's eyes -sad and dull as two dying stars- stopped her short.
Resigned, Katniss nodded.
Tilting his head, Gale pointed to the door; a silent invitation for them to take their business elsewhere.
Reluctantly, Katniss stood up. After depositing her empty teacup on a nearby table, she grabbed her coat and followed him out the door leaving the warm comfort of his home for the bitter cold of the cloudless winter night.
Gale walked towards the side of the house and leaned against the wall.
Dragging her feet, Katniss followed, stopping to mirror his posture just a few inches away.
A small smile settled on Gale's lips, it spoke more of defeat than it did of joy.
"Listen," he began, voice soft in the winter night. "I know things haven't been easy between us lately, and I know that I'm the one to blame." With a shuddering sigh, he looked up to the sky. "We've been friends for a long time, Katniss. We've been together through thick and thin, and we've always had each other's backs, but things are different now."
The sadness in his voice brought tears to her eyes. Looking out into the night, she blinked them away.
A cold gust of wind wrapped around her, bringing Hazelle's words back to her mind. She shivered, feeling miserable. For the first time in months, she knew what lay at the heart of Gale's speech.
He's suffering from a broken heart, she told herself, and I've been too blind to notice.
Determined to put an end to the unpleasantness between them, Katniss wrapped her arms tightly around her slender frame and braced herself for whatever Gale was about to say next.
His next few words were softer than she'd imagined. "I know how you feel about marriage," he said looking at her. "But, I don't know, I guess… I thought that maybe…" Slumping his shoulders in defeat, he admitted, "I had this crazy notion that I might get you to change your mind."
More out of curiosity than anger, Katniss asked, "Why would you think that?"
Gale shrugged, he never had any difficulty talking about politics or social injustice, but he'd never had to discuss matters of the heart before. It was turning out to be harder than he'd expected.
He's as uncomfortable as I am, Katniss realized as the silence between them stretched. Trying to push matters along, she asked, "Did I ever do anything-,"
"No," he assured her. "You never led me on. You just grew up and sort of crept up on me, I guess." Falling silent, Gale rubbed the back of his neck and searched his mind for the right words to say. "We make such a good team that I just figured it meant we were destined for something more," he finally said. "But we're not. I was wrong, I know that now."
Relieved, Katniss nodded. Apparently, Gale had had enough time to think things through, and he had reached the right conclusions. Maybe Hazelle had pointed him in the right direction.
"I still remember when we first met," he said with a nostalgic chuckle. "You were such a pain back then."
Jerking her head in his direction, she asked, "What?"
His eyes lit up with a kind of playful mischief she hadn't seen in a while. "Yeah! You'd question everything and check every transaction twice. You were convinced I was trying to scam you or something; always determined to put me in my place. It was annoying as hell!"
Pushing herself away from the wall, Katniss snapped, "Well, excuse me for trying to provide for my family and making sure they didn't get the short end of the stick!"
Gale raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, I get it. You were just watching out for your own, doing what needed to be done. You were just a kid doing a man's job. Believe me, I understand." Lowering his hands, he added, "But we were a lot more productive once you started trusting me. Wouldn't you agree?"
Letting her guard down again, Katniss admitted, "Yeah. We were better as a team."
Sobering up, Gale said, "I don't want all this bad blood hanging between us anymore, Katniss. I know I've been an ass. I'm sorry. I can't take back the things I said, but I'm hoping we can move past them. Maybe we could start the new year with a clean slate?"
Holding his gaze for a moment, Katniss considered his words. At the end of the day, this was what she'd wanted all along, for things to go back to the way they were before. She missed her hunting partner -her friend-, and she was willing to sweep the ugliness of the past few months under the rug if it meant getting him back.
"Okay," she said smiling at him for the first time in ages. "I'll allow it."
Gale's face lit up. "Thank you," he said.
For one joyous moment, the two friends held each other's gaze, grinning like children who have found an unexpected treasure.
Slowly, the smile fell from Gale's face.
Katniss's mouth went dry as she saw him letting out a deep breath.
"There's one more thing I need to talk to you about," he said.
Katniss's hands tightened, her small fingers dug into her arms through the fabric of her coat. She didn't like the sound of this, not one bit.
With a level voice, Gale said, "Our new customer."
"What about him?" she groaned.
"I don't want to pick a fight," Gale soothed. "I'm just trying to understand."
"Understand what?" Katniss asked, her eyes narrowing into two gleaming slits.
"Well, to be honest, I'm trying to figure out if he can be trusted."
"Come on, Gale!" she yelled, releasing her pent-up frustration on those three words.
Gale shook his head. "No. I'm serious, Katniss. This is not about me being jealous or overprotective. It used to be," he admitted, "but it's not anymore. I promise." Locking his gray eyes on hers, he asked, "Are we still friends?"
Katniss held his gaze, after a moment, she nodded.
"I don't know how you two are connected and I know it's not my place to ask," he quickly clarified, "believe me, you've made that perfectly clear. But you are the only person I know who actually knows him, and I don't know, I guess... I thought maybe you could tell me something about him."
Unable to mask her annoyance, she replied, "What kind of something?"
Gale shrugged. Suddenly, his eyes widened, Katniss could almost see a new idea forming in his mind. "Do you know what people say about him?" he asked.
Taken aback, Katniss asked, "What people?"
"The people in the mines, my crewmates, my supervisors."
A line of worry settled between Katniss's eyebrows. "Why would the miners talk about him?"
"Well, because he's a victor," Gale explained, "but also because they're all tired of the way things are and they're desperate for a change."
Her pulse quickened sending a cold shiver down her spine. "What has that got to do with Peeta?"
Gale's voice dropped to a whisper. "Do you think we're the only ones who feel this way, Katniss?"
Unable to answer his question, she shrugged.
"Every year the people in this country give everything they have to the Capitol," he said. "We give them our coal, our food, our lumber, our children. We provide. They enjoy. They keep us trapped behind electrified fences, pitting us against each other, making us think we are rivals, but we're not."
"I know that already," she snapped impatiently, "You've been talking about this for years."
Gale nodded. "Yeah, I have." Slipping his hands into his pockets, he continued, "The point is that the districts are not our enemies. At the end of the day, we all want the same things. We want our families to be fed and safe, and the freedom to choose what's best for ourselves. We want to raise our children without the fear of the Games hanging over our heads." Gale's eyes burned with resolve as he finished his hushed speech. "If we all got together, President Snow and his peacekeepers wouldn't be able to stop us."
Katniss's eyes widened in shock. It wasn't unusual for Gale to talk about injustice or oppression. He had always been rebellious, but she'd never seen him like this; calm and collected as he carefully explained his thoughts.
What has he been doing lately, she wondered.
In the quiet night, Gale's hushed words were as terrifying as a clap of thunder. "That's where he comes in. Many believe your victor is our answer. They say he can bring all the districts back together," he finished, grey eyes sparkling with hope under the silvery moonlight.
Ignoring Gale's reference to her victor, Katniss asked, "Back together? What does that even mean?"
"It means breaking our chains, harnessing the power within the districts, getting rid of the Capitol once and for all. Look, Katniss, a lot of people are willing to risk their livelihoods -their lives even- because of what he's done. If he were to lead the way, they would follow."
A cold sweat broke through her body. Trying to keep the panic from her voice, she asked, "Follow him where? What are you talking about? He hasn't done anything!"
Gale shook his head; a disbelieving chuckle accompanied the movement. "You were so busy watching him survive that you didn't even notice how many unspoken rules he broke."
Her stomach dropped. The acrid taste of bile flooded her mouth, and she shook her head in denial. "He didn't break any rules."
With the same soft voice he used to quiz Rory after one of their walks along the snare line, Gale asked, "How many tributes did he kill?"
Knitting her eyebrows, Katniss searched her memories for an answer. "Not many." Using the fingers on her hand to keep track, she began counting, "There was the girl from Two, and the boy from One."
Gale nodded. "Who else?"
"The boy from Two."
"That's just three," Gale pointed out. "It's not many. Do you know what the average kill score for victors is?"
"I'm guessing more than three," Katniss grumbled.
"Yeah, it's five. Of course, there have been some exceptions here and there, but three is one of the smallest kill counts ever."
"Alright, so Peeta isn't a bloodthirsty warrior. What does that matter? He was the last person standing, isn't that what counts?"
"On a basic level, yeah," Gale agreed. "But, what do all his kills have in common?"
"They were all careers," she mumbled after an instant. Unable to see how that was relevant, she asked, "So?"
"Well, it's normal for careers to kill each other," Gale explained, "They're trained, they know when and how to attack. Most of them die at the hands of other careers or are killed by the mutts in the arena. But no one's ever heard of a non-career killing three careers on one Game."
"Peeta's strong, he's a wrestler," she reminded him. "Maybe he didn't train for the Game, but he was better prepared than most tributes. You saw his final training score. It was unusually high for District 12!"
"That's just it," Gale said with a smile. "Most people in his position would have joined the career pack and tried to benefit from their sponsors and protection; at least in the beginning. But he didn't. Instead, he went off by himself. And then, when he finally finds an ally, it's the girl from Eleven." Raising his arms in the air, he asked, "Who takes that chance? She was one of the weakest tributes in the arena."
Katniss opened her mouth to speak but, before she could protest, Gale cut her off, "Yes, I know she wasn´t completely defenseless. She was resourceful, and she treated his wounds, but he didn't have to stay with her the way he did. I know you saw it as a normal thing, but it wasn't, not in an arena." Lowering his voice even further, he confided, "I'm telling you, Catnip, I wasn't the only one who was shocked. And that salute... That sign of respect is what makes people believe he might be the person we've been waiting for."
Katniss swallowed thickly as she tried to process everything she'd just heard. She didn't really know why, but Gale's words terrified her.
Sensing how overwhelmed she was, Gale placed a hand on her shoulder. Gently, he squeezed. When she looked up at him, he whispered, "I know this is a lot to take in. So, I'll simply tell you this, Peeta Mellark showed the world that people in the outlying districts might be poor, but we're also resourceful, smart, strong and loyal. He showed them that we stick by our allies, no matter what. Do you understand how powerful that message is?"
A flurry of ideas tumbled inside Katniss's head as she tried to follow Gale's words. She remembered every moment of Peeta's Game, and she had seen everything Gale had just described, but she hadn't seen any hidden motives behind Peeta's actions.
In her mind, Peeta had done for Rue the same thing he'd done for her all those years before, he had treated her with kindness and respect. To her, his attitude didn't speak of rebellion. All she'd seen was a decent man doing what was necessary to survive.
And that's exactly why people are talking about him, Katniss realized. Her heart began pounding in her ribcage. She pressed her open palm over her chest to try to keep it from jumping out of her chest. Because he's decent. Because he does what no one else does, he uses his strength to help others, not to benefit himself.
In the cold, dark night, Gale's words finally sunk in. As the true meaning behind his explanation shone through she gaped at him, unable to hide her surprise. He doesn't hate Peeta, he's inspired by him.
Overcome with emotion, Katniss blurted out, "He fed me once."
Gale's eyes snapped open. "What?"
Swallowing thickly, Katniss repeated, "He fed me once."
Maybe it was because she'd already found a way to make things right with Peeta, or because she had recently confided in Prim, but the words poured from her lips with surprising ease.
In just a few minutes she'd told him all about the sadness, the despair, the clarity with which she'd known she was doomed.
Gale listened intently as Katniss recalled the entire incident; from Peeta's mother lashing out at her to the burnt loaves which followed, and the gratitude she felt towards the baker's son.
Her eyes filled with tears when she confessed the shame she'd felt for never thanking him for his kind gesture, and the guilt she'd carried knowing the price Peeta had paid for those charred loaves of bread.
When she was done, Gale cleared his throat. "I know I already apologized, Catnip, but I am sorry about the things I said; about you and… about him."
Katniss nodded.
A peaceful feeling of contentment settled over her, she hadn't realized how much keeping her secret had weighed on her shoulders.
Looking back at her friend, she noticed a goofy grin painted on his face. "What?" she asked.
Looking positively giddy, Gale answered, "Well, judging from the story you just told me, Peeta Mellark's been defying authority all his life." Raising a hand in front of him to stop her protests, he added, "I know. Risking a beating to feed a hungry girl is not the same as standing up to President Snow. And don't worry, I won't be sharing your story with anyone, I promise. But his actions that day and inside the arena tell me that's he's not one to stand around and do nothing when others are in trouble."
Gale's gray eyes twinkled under the moonlight as he added, "If we find the right way to approach him, he might be our man."
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AN: I want to thank the lovely AlwaysEverlark for the beautiful banner she made for this story.
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The Hunger Games Trilogy is the property of Suzanne Collins. No money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.