Chapter Twenty-Three

I had taken an entire week off from work. Something I had never done in my entire life. I felt weird doing it, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind to go in. I just needed time to process everything.

I still wasn't sure how I felt about what Rosalie told me. I understood her point and even agreed with her, but this gut-wrenching feeling I just couldn't shake. Deep inside of me, the thought of someone being killed in my honor was almost too much to handle.

Now knowing that I couldn't go home without bringing trouble with me and potentially subjecting my parents to it made me angry. My unstable plan of moving back home had crumbled before I even had a chance to really consider it and weigh the pros and cons myself.

I walked into the jail with my head as high as I could hold it. I would try my best to act as tough as I could before seeing Edward. The emotions in my head and heart were still swirling with confusion about him.

Edward wasn't in the infirmary yet. Neither was Debra. She had left an hour or two ago. The prison hadn't found another doctor to temporarily replace Dr. Snow yet, so it seemed as though I would be in charge of the medical unit. That was fine, I didn't mind working alone.

I watched the time closely, waiting for Edward to arrive. As usual, he did, right on time. I hadn't turned away from the computer screen, but I could feel his presence behind me, staring at the back of my head. I just couldn't muster up the courage to look at him.

"Bella," Edward said softly. "I am so sorry."

I looked down at the keyboard. "I don't really know what to say."

I jumped when his hand gently touched my shoulder. When I jumped, he took his hand away.

"I'm sorry for all of this. It's all my fault. I promise you; I will not allow this to happen again."

I shuddered and let out a soft sob, my head still down. I wrapped my arms around myself as I shook.

Edward must've leaned down and wrapped his arms around me tightly. His tight embrace was comforting and actually welcomed in this moment.

"I can't even go h-home." I said as the tears streamed down my face.

"I know," He whispered in my ear. "I'm so sorry. I'm going to make sure your parents are safe and that you are never ever attacked again."

"A-are you going to k-kill him?" I asked in a very soft voice.

"Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?" He asked after a moment. "Or do you want the truth?"

I thought about it before nodding. "Yes… please t-tell me the truth."

He inhaled softly. "Yes. I'm going to kill him."

I closed my eyes. When I didn't answer, he placed his chin on top of my head.

"I'm sorry this is upsetting to you," he said. "But I will not let him get away with hurting you. He deserves to die."

I nodded in agreement. "I don't want you to kill him for me."

"I know you don't. You're an incredibly sweet, caring, and naïve person. You don't want to believe the worst in people. You don't want anyone to do anything for you. I admire that. I really do, but what he did… what he was going to do, is unforgivable."

"I know." I whispered.

"I don't want this to haunt you. James is a horrible person. He deserves what is coming to him. You're not the only person he's attacked."

"I don't want to be there." I blurted out.

"Of course."

"I don't want to know either." I said. "I don't… I don't need to see him die, like Rosalie did."

"You won't." He said as he squeezed me tighter. "You won't. I promise you this."

I shuddered in his arms. "I don't…" I trailed off in a heavy sigh as more tears fell down my cheeks.

"You don't what, sweetheart?" He asked softly.

"I-I don't know what to do…" I whimpered. "I want to go home, but I want to stay. I don't want to talk to you anymore, but I don't want to stop talking to you. I don't know what I want."

He gently kissed the top of my head. "Whatever you decide, I'm here for you. I will support you. I'm just so sorry this happened to you because of me. I didn't realize that James would stoop so low. I'm sorry you were the brunt of his anger. So, so sorry."

I let out a shaky sigh and nodded. "You need to eat so you can take your medicine."

"Anything for you, nurse Swan." He said softly before letting me go and walking to the table.

For the rest of the time, we sat in silence. Edward didn't try to start a conversation with me, he simply did as he was asked then took his medication and went to sleep. I tried to get some work done, but I was struggling.

I honestly just wanted to leave and go back home. I really wanted to see my dad. And I really, really wanted to talk to my mom.

She had been on my mind a lot lately. I guess the fact that I had almost been killed was a bit of a wake-up call. I loved my mom dearly. She and I had always been so close before our fight. Even though I never lived with her, we talked on the phone every night. And when I did visit her, we always had the best time.

I let out a shaky breath as I pulled my cellphone. My hands were shaking as I dialed the number.

It rung three times before she finally answered. When I heard her voice, my own voice got caught in my throat.

"Hello?" She said, "Hello, is anyone there?"

"H-hey mom." I said in a cracking, soft voice.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Bella," She said in a soft voice of relief. "It's so good to hear from you. How are you doing?"

I smiled a little. "I'm fine. I'm just working. You know."

She chuckled. "Of course. Is New York shaping up to everything you thought it would? Are you ready to go home now?"

"No mom," I said with a bit of an eye roll. "I like it here. I…I'm doing fine."

She let out the softest of sighs that I almost didn't hear. "Okay, I just worry about you. I know you don't want me to worry, but New York is very, very dangerous."

I chuckled. "How would you know? You've never even visited New York."

She was quiet for a moment before she answered. "True, but I watch a lot of news. I see what happens there."

"You know, there's a big art scene here in New York. You might really like it."

"Are you inviting me to New York?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe. I think you'd really like it."

"I wish I could baby but… I'm really busy right now. I'd love to see you though. Why don't you come and see me? I'll pay for your ticket."

I sighed. "I'm pretty busy too, you know, with my internship and everything."

"How's that going?"

"It's going good. I'm learning a lot."

"Any cute inmates in there?"

"Mom," I said.

She giggled. "What? It's okay to look. I bet there are some cute ones there."

"Well, there is one that is cute, but I don't know about him."

"Oh, very cool," She gushed. "What's his name."

"Edward Cullen," I whispered, hoping not to wake him by saying his name.

She didn't answer for so long that I had thought the phone had cut out.

"Mom are you still there?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here baby," She said. "Um, what was his name again? I'm sorry I got distracted."

I laughed. "You're so ditzy," I teased.

"What was his name Bella?"

"Edward Cullen," I repeated. "He's a very, very cute inmate. And pretty charming but I don't know how I feel about him."

"Bella, he's an inmate. There shouldn't be any feelings there, understood? He cannot be trusted."

I made a face, recognizing my own voice from the many times I told Edward almost the exact same thing. I could see why he would get annoyed with it.

"He's been really nice to me."

"Bella please listen to me. Don't trust him."

"Why? Do you know him?" I teased.

"No, I don't know him. But he's an inmate. That's all you need to know, okay? I don't want you getting hurt."

"Yeah, okay. I'm not going to do anything." I lied. Well… not really lied… I don't know what I'm doing right now.

"Bella, my love, I am so happy that you called me, but I know something's wrong." She said. "I can hear it in your voice baby. What's wrong?"

"Nothing mom."

"Bella…" She said in her typical, warning voice.

"Mom, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to call you. What? Did you not want to hear from me?"

"I loved that you called me, I've been dying to talk to you, but I know when something is wrong with you and—,"

"Mom, how would you know anything about me? I've never lived with you for more than two weeks every six months growing up!" I snapped, knowing I had made a low blow.

I heard her gasp. "Bella, there was a reason you lived with your dad—,"

"Yeah because you didn't want to deal with me all the time. It's cool. I don't care."

"That's not it!" She finally snapped back. "You are just… you are still just as stubborn and bratty! Why are you acting like this?"

"Maybe because I had a mother who was constantly moving every month to a new fucking state, and I never knew where she was! Maybe I didn't get to see my mom enough growing up! You ever think of that?"

"I can't talk to you." She snapped. "When you're done acting like a brat—,"

"Fuck you!" I snapped before hanging up on her. I slammed my phone down onto the desk and hissed. Damn her.

"Are you okay?" Edward's soft voice asked, causing me to jump because I didn't know he was awake.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm good."

I heard Edward sigh gently. "It's okay to be angry."

"I'm not angry." I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I just want to be left alone. Are you ready to go back to your cell?"

"You're not angry at her," He said, placing his hands on my shoulders. "You're angry at me. At James. At a lot of things, but not at your mother."

I jumped out of my seat. "You're right!" I snapped as I started punching his hard chest. "I am angry at you! You're the reason I had to move out of my apartment!"

"I know. I'm an asshole."

"You are a stupid asshole!" I snapped as I continued to hit him.

"I know I am. This is all my fault."

I growled and laid on last hard punch onto his chest before sobbing. "I hate you."

"I know," He said as he pulled me to him, his hand on the back of my head. "I know you do. I hate me to right now for all of this."

"Why did you have to pick me?" I sobbed into his chest.

"For so many reasons."

"You could pick anyone else."

"I could. But I don't want anyone else. You're perfect." He said as his hand started rubbing my back.

"You're making me go through all of this because you just want to fuck me." I sobbed with a little shudder. "If that was all you wanted I would've done it back in Seattle. Then I wouldn't be going through any of this."

"Hey, that is not what I want from you," He said firmly. "I want more than just to fuck you. Don't say that shit because it's not true. You are more than just a fuck. I want so much more from you then a night in bed."

"What do you want from me then?" I sniffled. "Give more a reason to stay here in New York because I am just two seconds from disappearing. And I can't even go to my home…"

"You're a special, incredible woman. I want everything you could possibly give me. Your brain, your heart, your soul. That night in Seattle was the best night of my life, but these past few weeks, every interaction we've had has just affirmed my theory that you and I were meant to be together. You're the most perfect woman in the world. I know you don't feel it yet, but I swear, when God was making soulmates, he connected ours."

I let out a breathless chuckle. "You're so cheesy."

He chuckled. "It's true though. God made the two of us together. I always wondered where he put my heart, and when I met you, I realized he had put several pieces of my heart inside of you."

"Shut up," I snorted, shaking my head as I pulled away from him. "You're so corny."

He smiled and stroked my cheek. "You are the most beautiful, stubborn, enticing, incredible, smart, woman I have ever met in my entire life, and I will spend this life doing whatever I can to get you on my arm."

I giggled and looked down. "You feel that way about me, but I don't feel that way about you."

"You're a liar," he smiled. "If you really didn't like me, you wouldn't waste your time doing all the stuff you do for me. You would've told me to fuck off a long time ago."

"I did tell you to fuck off. You ignored me."

He grinned. "I did leave you alone, I left a note with the doctor, remember? You saw it but still came into the yard to tell me to leave you alone. I may not be good at reading women, but that was a clear sign that you didn't want me to leave you alone."

The corners of my lip lifted. "I didn't see your note."

"You're such a liar." He chuckled as he kissed my cheek. "I need to go back to my cell now. I'm getting out of here in two weeks. The day I get out, you and I are going on the best date ever. You'll be able to see me in a new light, which I think will help your stubbornness."

"We can't do anything the day you get out." I said.

"Why is that?"

"Just because," I shrugged, not wanting to give away the surprise party Esme was planning.

He narrowed his eyes. "Tell me. Why can we not go out on a date then?"

I shrugged again and shook my head. "I don't know. I'm busy."

"You don't know, you're busy? Mm, sounds very suspicious to me."

I wiped the tears off my cheeks. "I am busy. Go back to your cell."

"No one better be throwing me a party or I will lose my shit. I don't like surprise parties."

"No one is."

He sighed, shaking his head. "You're a terrible liar. It's okay though, as long as you're feeling better." He kissed my forehead gently. "Are you feeling better?"

I nodded. "I actually am. You make a really good punching bag."

He chuckled. "I don't usually allow anyone to make me their punching bag, but for you, I'd be a punching bag any day of the week."

I smiled bashfully before ducking away from his gaze. It was weird, I did feel a hell of a lot better.