Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! My eyes couldn't tear themselves away from the bloodied remains, my entire body trembling. On the floor, frozen and gagging, my body trembled at the sight before me. My mind couldn't even think. Panic took over. Fuck, oh fuck, get out of here. Get out of here before someone found this, found me. Get off the station, back to the STG. Would they protect me? Back on my feet, they stumbled on the slippery remains and injured leg. My eyes stayed up until they looked down to my clothes. Blood covered me. How was I to escape like thi- my spare clothes... these clothes could save me! B-But how would that help? What would to do with the blood covered ones? Take them off and dump them or- Fuck it! My hand dug inside my bag, throwing a long sleeved top over the blooded pale blue top. The dark trousers hid the blood well enough, they would have to. My legs hobbled to the stairs, slipping on part of a liver and snatched up my omni-tool bracelet off the ground. My hands fumbled with the ring to snap it open and it took even longer to snap the ring around my wrist.
I had murdered someone in cold blood. It didn't even matter that Nyryntha did it, that she stole my control. No one would believe me! No one cared, not even me, about what he was about to do. do whatever was going through his crazy mind. What to do, what to do, what to do!? What could save me, not the military. That meant someone couldn't just wander around and shoot people who looked at me funny! And he would have been my superior officer! And I was a prime suspect even if my ass got off the station! His fallen had started because of me! My body quivered in place, unable to move my legs. They would send me to prison... maybe the death sentence? The laws were unknown, was capital punishment a thing? Ok, ok. Calm down Dell. You need to think. You need to get off the Citadel, you need to leave before anyone finds you. Now, to get out of he- My body froze when the door opened.
"The screaming came from in... here," a small voice said. My expression collapsed, jaw widening with every second. A young human child blinked, only 6, peeked through a gap in the door. His eyes locked onto the gore strewn along all four corners of the room. Seconds later, the boy's father came around the door. He froze as he took in the sight. Our eyes locked as he looked up. His parental instincts kicked in. he yanked his son back behind the door, wheeling around. His whitened face haunted me. My voice froze in my throat.
"O-Officers!" The man screamed, running from the door. "Police! Help! Murder!"
"Wait! Please!" I cried out, my voice releasing itself. My eyes widened, gaping at the door. My thought processes shut down. Even the cybernetic knitting of my muscles in my thigh went unheard.
I sprinted for the back door, adrenaline killing any pain along with Nyryntha getting to work. My legs ran circles around the back corridors of the place, looking for an exit. There were no windows. Down a set of stairs, my mind thought the basement might have access to some tunnels or something. Nothing. Not a single door. My legs wheeled around to run for the main exit, ignoring the shimmering metal walls of the back corridors. My feet fumbled on the gore when the main room opened to me again, eyes only for the exit. A dull ache poured from my shoulder after it bashed through the door. My feet slammed the anchors on to a stop an instant later. 3 C-Sec officers raised rifles, lasers trained on me as the turian and two asari fanned out.
"Put your hands in the air!" one yelled.
I didn't heard him. My eyes saw guns, powerful guns, aiming at me. Police ready to gun me down. My life was over. They would kill me here. Either I would die or Nyryntha would kill them instead! Instinct overruled me. The officer's words were unheard as blood thumped in my ears, legs sprinting for freedom. My eyes locked onto a street nearby. Get away, had to get out of here! Gunfire pierced my thundering heartbeat, skimming past me. A bullet slammed into my shoulder, twisting me. My balance straightened me, gasping for air as the streets and the packed wards surrounded me. My muscles drowned in adrenaline.
I had no shields, my guns were in my bag over my shoulders but it wouldn't be enough to take out an entire station of guards. My thoughts turned to running to the salarian embassy, ask for amnesty as an STG informant. A bullet passing my face derailed the train of thought. The screams of the people around never reached me, the sirens silent to my thundering heart. My flailing limbs drove everyone out of my way. The city burst alive with red and blue lights. It drove me down an alley, leaping up a pile of crates and ran on the roofs. Run! Just run! Yet every step away seemed to bring me closer to the police, not farther. My legs leapt over a gap only to have 3 officers drop from a shuttle. Rolling onto another roof, they pursued me. More joined them. My breath snagged in my throat, shadows threatened to cover my vision. Air never reached my lungs. The screams, the yells, the demands to stop. A light blinded me, forcing a scream free. My bloodied hands raised to shield my eyes, skidding to a top.
"You are under arrest! Put your hands in the air, you are surrounded!" a voice rang from over the loudspeaker. The light vanished as the shuttle turned, revealing a shuttle with armed C-Sec officers. My mind refused to think. I wheeled around to run, but officers covered the entire roof. Dozens of them. More shuttles hovered overhead, each with armed officers. Snipers took aim. Lasers danced over my body. The guns clicked. The voices screamed. My head spun in circles, eyes rolling into the back of my head. It was... it was…
"Get on the-"
"-in the air, now!"
The sirens deafened. The lights disorientated. Voices blended into a screeching roar of a monster impossible to flee from. A migraine tore my mind apart, my vision coated in shadow. The flashes of red and blue, the dancing lasers. Hyperventilation settled. My head spun. My legs ran, ran away from the men with guns, away from everything. I wanted away from the madness, away from the sound! Just, away, away! Something hit me, my thigh collapsed mid jump. I fell. My head crashed into the building wall as my body cartwheeled, fissuring my already fragile skull. Wooden boxes broke my fall. I lost consciousness on impact.
"...ou... sco... hy d... gua... er?" a blurred voice mumbled.
"Our... ob you mo... ow stop yappi... nd do you... bloody job!" a second snapped.
My hearing cleared as the seconds ticked by. My muddled mind pounded as a headache throbbed my thoughts away. the cold floor chilled my side, my heart echoed through my body, a constant reminder that my life continued. Well, that and the headache. What... what happened? I... ran. Ran from something. But why? Running to or away from something? A moan escaped, turning my head. My eyes pried open, showing a blurred sight, a hazy view through frosted glass. A song radiated from my body, a song of aches to assess my condition. It took 10 minutes for me to desensitise my hearing. The thundering heart eased to let me hear, allowing me to notice more of my surroundings. My vision cleared up enough to make out details. A tiny box surrounded me, clear glass covering the only exit. My eyes snapped open. The memories flooded back.
It wasn't dissimilar to the one that had held Raisha on Virmire. My throat seized. Where was here? What was going on? Three solid walls with a clear wall before me. Two guards' shadows betrayed their presence. My mouth dried. My memories after leaving the religious grounds was hazy, a confused jumble of nonsensical sound and light. I pushed myself onto my knees to raise into a sitting position. My vision swelled and spun. My hand held my head as a moan crept out, nerves raw from pain. What hit me? My eyes squeezed shut, covering them with my hands. Everything hurt. When my hand pulled away, my bloodied clothes no longer coated me. A quick glance to my chest showed a blue and orange jumpsuit of some sort. A prison outfit?
"Ah fuck, she's awake," the first voice groaned. Despite every instinct to, my head stayed lowered. Moving my head now would cause me to throw up. Just breathe, just catch your breath. My hand released its grasp on my head. One guard leaned on the glass, the other radioed command. Both humans donned in Alliance colours. Why… why in an Alliance prison rather than C-Sec?
"So, awake, eh?" the guard snorted. "So, proud of yourself? A fine man dead because of you," My back shivered at the acid in his voice.
"H-He threatened me, s-smashed my head to the floor. He shot me!" I said. My hands smacked over my ears when he banged his fist on the glass. Was this what a hangover felt like? The guard snarled at me, sending quivers down my back. My legs kicked me deeper into my tiny container.
"Dammit, Shaik, shut your fucking mouth! He was a damn good man! Would've given the shirt of his back for anyone who needed it!" he roared.
"Apart from me," I muttered under my breath.
"What was that?" the human snarled.
"Oi, calm down," the other sighed as he pulled his partner away. He strode back over to the cell. His expression was flat. My eyes large and quivering eyes found him. "Listen, Shaik, you've done good in the past what with helping C-Sec during the geth attack. We've even had the STG jumping on our backs to get custody of you. But I don't see how the hell you will crawl out of this. Bloody scientists shouldn't get bloody guns," he said. A swallowed forced its way down my tight throat. decided the best course was to shut the hell up. They can't hate me if I don't speak, right? Couldn't punish me if I remained quiet? …Who the hell was I kidding? My gaze averted. They wanted to shoot me in the head. The guard snorted.
"You're on transit to Earth, if you're curious. You'll stand trial there. Waste of bloody money if you ask me," the first human grumbled.
"Not our choice. Now just watch her for God sake," the second warned.
They refused to communicate to me after that point. The first too filled with rage to speak, the second too busy controlling his friend. The hours ticked by, my body mended itself with the aid of Nyryntha. Tiny nips around the bullet wounds were hard to ignore. A new guard came down with a tray of food. She slipped it through a gap in the floor, shutting the glass tight. My eyes scanned the military rations on the metal tray. It didn't look very pleasant, it twisted my stomach. No, avoid food for the next while. The remains of Keplar were still fresh in my mind. My hand covered my face, shivering. I curled up into a ball in the corner of the room, ignoring the tiny bunk pinned to the wall. My head buried into my knees. Right back at square one. Terrified, defenceless, trapped and returning to Earth with nothing to go to. Apart from prison. They were taking me to prison. My entire future had died. Emotion crawled up my throat, splotching my eyes. They squeezed shut, letting the scratchy jumpsuit absorb the moisture. Would they give me life imprisonment or the death penalty? Where would they trial me; in the States or my home in the United Kingdom? I never asked, the thought of more raised voices against me was too much.
That was how the next 3 days passed. Not a word left my mouth, curled up in my corner as I waited for end to come. In my corner, the guard patrolled and changed when they had to stretch their legs. Only the smallest mouthfuls of water were drunk, food refused. The thought of food rolled my stomach. Along with the guards judging looks, they thought I was a caged animal in a zoo. It was humiliating, demoralising. My nights ended with me crying to sleep. But there was no peace there either. Nyryntha's dreams, memories, whatever they were, had returned. They haunted me, a thousand times worse than before she had taken control of me at any point. The Reapers destroyed entire families in a single footfall. The sight of blood turning water pink, green, purple. It varied from species to species. But my nightmares were no longer silent torments. More than once, a guard had to kick me awake to stop my screams. One in particular, in which an entire building filled with children and babes... the screams... I hugged the guard in thanks, sobbing my pathetic eyes out. Poor girl didn't know what to do with me.
Then on the fourth day, it was safe to say these wild flips in my life could stop. My scream ripped out in surprise when an explosion rocked the entire ship. The guards tumbled, yelling in surprise. They demanded to know what was going on, calling out on the radio for orders. My eyes flew around the tiny box. Hell was breaking loose while they had me trapped in this tiny box! If they evacuated, they would leave me behind! …would they evacuate me? My heart fluttered. The lights died, making me scream again, the vibrations of the ship ceased. Seconds later, a red haze showered the room. Gunfire streamed through the vents, screams and yells from beyond the room. A light tink bounced across the floor between the guards. A small flashing device caught my attention. Grenade. My scream alerted the guards as my body hurling myself into a far corner, curling up as the guards screamed. The explosion ripped another shriek from me, shards of glass and metal scattering all around me. My gaze peeked out between my fingers at the sight. The glass door lay shattered, dangling in broken pieces above the gaping hole. My body unfurled, awestruck. On hands and knees, I crawled towards the exit. Glass cut the skin, but my hand reached out to the nearest guard.
Dead.
Fuck! They'd blame this on me as well! I ignored the broken glass as my hands reached the other. She was breathing, but the entire lower half of her body was on the other side of the room. There was nothing to do to help her. Maybe someone el- Another explosion snapped the ground out from under me. The whole ship rocked as it threw me against the floor, listening to my ribs creak in complaint. My lungs wheezed as my body rolled onto my hands and knees. Smoke filtered into the room, making me cough.
"Evacuate the ship! All personnel, evacuate imm-" the intercom cut short by a gunshot. My eyes popped open. Why did this stuff always happen to me?!
I hauled myself to my feet, grabbing onto a fixed table to stay upright in the heaving ship. Moving towards the door was impossible, my grip refused to loosen. My teeth grit. Escape pod, get to an escape pod! Or... maybe staying put was a better idea. It would get rid of me and the Reaper in one fell swoop. My hands gripped the table, staring at my bloodied hands. I had spilled a lot of blood, hadn't I? Blue Suns, Keplar… no one would believe me if they heard my story, wouldn't believe someone else killed the guards. Dammit, this was all messed up! All I wanted was to tell that bloody empty box of Shepard to burn in hell and grab a shuttle to Mat'al's!
"I hate this!" I screamed, my fist pounding on a wall in the containment room as an explosion drowned out my words. "I hate all of this! Why can't anything go right for once!?"
"Enter the cavalry, as they say, Advocacy," a voice said. My legs leapt from the desk, stumbling on the billowing deck. An asari stalked towards me, donned in C-Sec gear. The light blue toned asari ignored the heaving floor. Her short, dark blue markings around her eyes and tentacles highlighted her sapphire eyes. She had a bag in her hand. My bag.
"W-What did you call me?" I asked. The asari grinned.
"You do not recognise one of your own, Advocacy?" she asked. My blood ran cold. Only the Reapers called me Advocacy. There was something... off about the asari, staring at her. Her eyes, vivid as they were, held no light, no life despite the tone of voice. My vision swayed as she approached. My back hit a wall, trembling as the asari leant down a few inches to meet me in the eyes. Her eyes were a lovely sapphire, although lines danced and shimmered across them. Almost like circuitry-
"Y-You... you're a Saboteur!" I gasped. My hands pressed against the wall, praying it would swallow me whole. The asari smiled. My knees buckled.
"Advocacy, you are proving to be most troublesome. I am surprised with you, Nyryntha. You are much quicker in taming your Shell than this," the asari remarked.
My head erupted, white spots blinding my sight. Nyryntha's thoughts ran through me. There was only one way to fight her, to resist her. My own thoughts turned to other things, random things like dinner with my family, geological phenomenon that required depth of thought. The more complex the matter, the more parts of the brain required, the better. Anything that didn't relate to what Nyryntha thought, what she wanted to say, reduced the migraine and stopped my sight leaving me. It seemed to bog up the brain transmissions. Only one of us could use parts of the brain at a time. I seemed to get priority.
"The Shell is... determined." She managed. My breath rushed out, heaving through the pain. The asari snorted.
"As I can see," she said. She grabbed me by the jump suit, hauling me across the floor. My cry was unheeded as my hand grabbed her arm to stop myself from falling. She put a finger to her ear. "Kill everyone on board, I have the Advocacy. Prepare the pod. I want this ship in the sun within the hour!"
My struggle was useless, with the ship rocking this much there was no way for me to escape her grip. Outside of the containment room, fire danced along the empty corridors. Bullets traced lines along the walls and floor. Some still bounced as the last few survivors fell. Corpses littered the floor, blood pooling around them. The screams in the distanced faded one by one. How could anyone be so cruel as to slaughter an entire ship of people? For me? I was a Saboteur, that was my answer but why? Was I that valuable? The asari shoved me into a cupboard, tossing my bag in after me.
"W-Wh-" I stuttered.
"Change. Now, Shell!" the Saboteur snapped. My body shied away as she slammed the door.
My body wobbled there for a few seconds, waiting for the rocking to ease. Like a wild animal in the dark, the cupboard brought a sense of calm. Blood and corpses didn't gouge my eyes out, for one. She gave me a few minutes to myself, but my knowledge of Saboteurs was so limited that even if we fought, I wouldn't stand a chance. With little else to do, my hand pulled out the clothes. If she was going to kill me – or worse – I would rather be in the comfort of my own clothes than this scratchy piece of crap. That and she might strip me herself. My guns were not in the bag. My eyes squeezed shut. They would be difficult to replace. The jumpsuit peeled off. My skin crawled as the jumpsuit found itself in the far corner. My hands yanked the jeans. Why was another Saboteur here, how did they find me, what was their plan? The t-shirt soothed my skin, leaning on the wall and praying they ship didn't move. The Saboteurs were in C-Sec? How far up the rank were the Saboteurs? Dammit, I had to do something! I had to fight! But unarmed against a Reaper controlled Shell would not going to end well for me. The trainers were last. Was she going to 'reprogram' me? A tremble ran down me as a plain black jumper pulled over me. I'd rather be taken to Earth. At least there I had a vague idea of what was going on!
The door burst open before that train of thought got much further. The asari grabbed my collar, dragged me from the cupboard. My mind considered struggling but the sight before me stopped any thought of that. Two lines of a dozen C-Sec officers each lined the corridor to the escape pods. They saluted the asari. What was wrong with them? Why would they commit this- They were indoctrinated, weren't they? Ah fuck! Ah shit! A scream ripped free as she threw me in front of her, laying her hands on her hips. my eyes stared up at the asari, gaping through a narrow hole. A hatch?
"A message, Advocacy, from the Architect," she said, tossing in my bag. "Don't fuck up," the hatch slammed shut, the clanking of metal followed as it sealed.
"W-Wait! Who are you?" I cried. Her muffled laughter crept through.
"Saria T'Spia. Or Commando Xanthe, either one. Have fun, Advocacy Nyryntha," she grinned at me.
My scream deafened me when pod split from the ship. The g-forces threw me against the hatch door, pinning me to the metal. A croaked slipped, fighting free myself. My eyes glimpsed the chairs behind me. Get a seat, had to get to a seat! This thing will toss me be tossed around like a goddam rag doll! My hands dragged itself towards a groove. It took ages, my muscles straining to reach past the g-forces. My arm forced itself forward, grabbing a groove in the floor. My arms dragged towards the nearest seat. It took 5 minutes, at which point the temperature rose and the turbulence only increased. My limbs yanked myself onto a chair, reach up and slam the harness over my head. My voice screamed the entire way down from there.
The pod crashed, hard. Reaching the seat saved my life. the crashing metal drowned out my screeching as the pod cartwheeled through the air. The harness kept me secured, but my body still rattled around in my harness. And then my bag smashed into my thigh. My scream killed my voice. Something hard inside it cracked the leg. But there was nothing hard in it when I changed! The only hard thing I kept in that bag was my guns- another scream bounced again when the pod slammed into a solid wall. It hurled me in the harness, creaking as it strained to stay attached to the wall. The bag smashed against a wall, breaking something. Another thud and all fell still.
I sat in the pod, brain swirling, dazed and confused. My knuckles were white, gripping the handles on the front of the bulky harness. My breaths were shallow, vision swimming. A sweat covered my entire body. A Saboteur had saved me from returning to Earth but was controlled by a Reaper. They didn't want me to help the organics. Why save me? Was the Shell still there, still trying to save their species? Or did they die once they Reaper was in full control? I didn't want to find out. The harness released me, a yelp escaping as my body crashed on the ceiling. The pod had landed upside down. Tears threatened to fall, eyes swelled. I couldn't... take much more of this! My hands snatched my bag, hauling it over my bruised shoulders. A bar showed how to open the hatch. My hands grabbed it, twisting the hatch door open. I shoved my weight against it to open it. My exhausted body tumbled out of the hole and into the rain.
Rain. Actual weather. My gaze locked to the grey clouds, water splattering on my face. It was cold, stinging my face. It was real. As my sore muscles sat in a puddle, the heavy downpour soaked through me. My body shivered. A sob burst through. A shiver, I was alive, alive and this was all real. My upper body collapsed. This was an actual planet with real air and real rain. My arms had enough energy to cup my hands before me, watching them tremble from the adrenaline rush. Once some water had collected in my hands, my hands slapped it to my face, crying as the water gushed out my hands, soaking my face. After the disaster my life had become since Noveria... this moment was my only sense of reality. Nothing else seemed real any more.
The faint sound of rumbling engines echoed from the distance. My hands pulled away, now streaked with black soot and blood. In the distance, angular vehicles approached with a vague similarity to the Mako. However the armour layered the flanks and had 2 turrets on top of it. My eyes squeezed shut. They would arrest me again. I was just so... so sick of this! A hand ran down my face. When would this nightmare end? When would this nightmare let me wake up? My head hung, clutching the drenched mud in my hands. The tanks stopped a short distance away. Hatches clanged open, a stream of people poured free. The people surrounded me in seconds.
"Are you alright, ma'am?" was the first voice, a male. It sounded strange, foreign. Robotic? My body shuddered, the rain chilling my sweated body. One look at my face and they would-
"Check for a concussion, make sure she's aware of her surroundings before moving her," a second voice sounded, again male. A tremble overtook my body. The rain had soaked me, the cold settled in my core.
"Sir, I think she's injured, there's blood. I'll apply medi-gel," a third voice, female.
"She does not move until we are sure she is safe to be moved," the second growled.
"Spirits be damned," a fourth snapped. My entire body shook, it was so cold... "If she's got internal injuries," Footfalls approach, sloshing in the mud. "She needs medical attention now-" the footfalls stopped short. My eyes blinked at the ripples the rain created in the pools of water. That voice... a knee appeared in my sight, someone crouching. "...Dell?" My head flopped up.
Kneeling before me, hands hovering in the air around my body, my eyes stared at the stunned expression of Valérien Autillin.
The Saboteur Sheet and Galaxy Map have been updated for this chapter. Please see profile for link to Archive.