"I warned you! I nagged for two hours yesterday about what could happen!" Mat'al snapped, pacing before as the anger broke the salarian's delicate control. The stress of the past month, every worry of the past few hours crashed upon me. The tsunami threatened to drown me. Inside my quarters, the salarian's words pacified me, the once safe sanctum now a prison. Mat'al's displeasure with me stung like a bullet wound, my eyes diverted to the floor. Shame stained me like a burnt cigarettes. The last time this happened, my mother screamed at me, wept as she stared at my grades for accounting. For weeks after, my life dedicated itself to pulling those marks up to the brink of insanity, even my social life tip toed on the edge of collapse. "I warned you not to sign anything, I told you not to wander off, I told you how dangerous this place was, why don't you listen anymore?" he demanded, whirling to face me. My teeth gnawed at my cheek. My saving grace was that he left his guns in his room. His fists would still hurt if he used them instead.
"I didn't-" I said, eyes catching a vein throbbing at his temple. Ok, bad start. "Mat'al. Do you... do you remember Feros?" The salarian snorted, taken aback by the question. To catch Mat'al Delern off guard was a rare occurrence. It betrayed his disturbed emotions.
"I remember Feros. Why?" he asked, pacing once more.
"Did I learn anything by you telling me to?" I asked, my voice quivering despite my best attempts to settle it.
A tremor broke out over my body. Dealing with Mat'al under normal circumstances felt like balancing a bucket of lava on your head. One wrong move and you get your ass burned. This new, more stressed Mat'al Delern remained an unknown force. Mat'al spun to face me, a finger pointed and his mouth open. My breath froze in my throat. Nothing escaped his lips.
That breath staggered out, tension easing from my shoulders. Mat'al smouldered before me, brain cranking away to find one example of when his words did more than drive me into danger, one example where he didn't need to use his usual 'encouragement'. With reluctance, his hand lowered to his side, brows drawn down as an agitated breath filled his lungs. A growl ruptured the air as he tore up my floor with his pacing once more. Cautious words danced on my tongue, legs pushing me onto my feet.
"Mat'al, sorry does not even cover what happened," I said. Mat'al paused long enough to glare at me, confirming my words. "But you have to understand that this world, this galaxy is all still so new. It hasn't even been here a year yet since I found myself here. I will be oblivious to the dangers, the sights will awe me and distract me. That's why I need people like you watching my back, guiding me. How can you do that if you keep yourself locked up in a lab for hours upon end? When was the last time we had a proper talk since we left the STG base? I've only got Raisha and Val to back me up with this. Shayan is too skittish and Indira is... Indira. I need you here, not in the lab,"
"Dell, until those computer banks are up and running, there isn't a damn thing we can do. All of the STG protocols are on those hunks of metal down there and if we want to even stand a chance of finding out what is inside you, we need those systems!" Mat'al snapped, although my words had stolen some heat from his voice.
"And I appreciate everything you have done and are doing. But I need you more than you think in these early days. For God's sake, I don't even want to be captain! You threw me into this role!" I said. Mat'al ceased pacing, staring down at me with cold eyes. Despite my quivering body, my eyes remained steady, staring up at him, pleading for his guidance. The calm, cool and collected Mat'al had to come back, without him, everything he had taught me could fly out the window. Mat'al clucked his tongue, turning my words over, a lid eased over his frayed emotions. He released a breath through his nose.
"Once the computers are up and running, I'll stop," he rubbed his eyes, breathing. My shoulders sagged, strain gone, at least for now.
"Good. I need you in the CIC once you have sorted everything. Are we clear, commander?" I asked. Mat'al spared me a cold gaze before sighing.
"Aye, aye," he submitted. "If you'll excuse me, I have machines to tend to,"
"Dismissed. Oh and Mat'al?" I called as the salarian. "Don't work too hard," The salarian scowled. A smile grew as he left my quarters, leaving me in the peace of my room. At least he didn't' shoot me!
The silence gave me time to contemplate my first mission as a captain, or, lack of if being technical. If Liara hadn't shown up... My hands scrubbed my face, a groan escaping. Stupid, stupid Dell. My body fell back against the sofa, grabbing a cushion to bury my chin in. It wasn't the best start to my captain career. At least it didn't turn into the Titanic, everyone made it back and we got our scientists. This temper and desperate attempt to escape the captain responsibilities had to be dealt with though, it would kill me sooner rather than later. A sigh slid free, face flopping into the cushion. Liara's words still rumbled inside me; too brash, too tunnelled on escape rather than everything around me. There was a crew to worry about now, my new extended family. My eyelids dropped, eager to forget the responsibility upon my shoulders. What was I going to do?
After the last month on the ship, the day's excitement wore me down, before including Nyryntha's attack on me, draining of even simple comprehension. My gaze drifted to the clock, blinking as if drugged. Every time the eyelids lifted, the time had passed by an hour. Sleep overwhelmed me, unlocking the nightmares to rock my mind. Failures, deaths, stupidity, betrayal, indoctrination. My entire crew died at least three times in different, horrific ways and those close to me at least seven. Alarms pounding in my ears, fires raged before my eyes, space all around me. My lungs froze, unable to breathe, my mind overloading from the sensations of desperation and terror. Had to stop the Reapers, had to stop them before this happened. Had to- A robotic squeal sent my eyes flaring open. My body jolted, air rushing out in swelling pants as my eyes studied the room. Desperation may have murmured Mar, it was the only reason the drone swung into view, beeping and awaiting orders. My throat felt patched, swallowing proved difficult
"W-What time is it?" I asked. The dial flashed before me. My brow furrowed, studying the numbers. "10:13 what?" I asked. The small blinking 'AM' in the corner enlarged. "Ah fuck," My eyes snapped to the alarm clock, silent. Had it gone off, was that where some of the alarms from my nightmare stemmed from? My limbs trembled, the images of the nightmare vivid even now, my legs refused to respond beyond a twitch here and there. My hands threw the duvet off. Hang on... how did I get on my bed? "Mar, go get someone, Val, Mat'al, Raisha, anyone," the drone beeped before soaring out the door.
My hands rubbed my eyes as the effects of the nightmare eased, remembering what had happened earlier before sleep called me. My first mission near-miss along with Mat'al's scolding and Nyryntha's mind torture proved to be a disastrous combination when trying to get a good night's sleep. Despite sleeping for 14 hours, my mind didn't feel rested, the opposite in fact. My hands held my head.
"Dell?" a voice stirred me. My gazed lifted, hands ready to catch me should it drop again. Saere Loras, the mucky bronze female turian that had tended to me during the Geth attack on the Citadel, stepped inside the room. Her orange markings glared off her skin, even in the low light. "It is a relief to see you awake," My eyes narrowed, a small frown growing.
"What do you mean?" I asked. Saere approached, seating herself on the edge of the bed. She brushed the heel of her hand over my forehead.
"You've warmed up," Saere smiled. "I came to check on you when I saw Marshal fly past. I assumed you had woken up," Her words made little sense. Why would she feel the need to check on me if I had only been out for most of the night? Unless…
"I've been out for more than a night, haven't I?" I asked. Saere nodded.
"Two days now," She answered. A breath escaped from my nose, turning to the clock once more. "From what Valérien told me, I can only assume that the Reaper had caused some severe damage, I've never seen such high levels of myosatellite cells in human blood before. My best estimate would be that your body had shut down to heal the trauma caused by the Reaper. It was... remarkable. Your bullet wounds healed within a few hours and then... Well, I'll spare you the details but the crew are a little on edge. With you on your feet, the crew can relax," My gaze returned to Saere, fingers twitching as a small smile flicked my lips.
"I didn't mean to cause worry," I said. My numb legs dropped over the side of the bed, trying to get some blood into them. It could take me an hour to get walking again. Saere was one of the few people on the ship who won't tell a soul of my soon to be face plants to the floor.
"Ah... Captain?" a voice called. My gaze snapped to the door at the voice, seeing Shayan poke his head around the door frame. Mar hovered by his shoulder. "May I come in?"
"Of course!" I said, waving a hand. Good, a distraction! It might hold Saere off from trying to get me on my feet again. Shayan smiled before shuffling in, Mar bolting to my side like a clingy boyfriend. "Everything alright?"
"Ah, yes," Shayan coughed. "I-I have the reports for the engines, if you want it," he said, shuffling under Saere's scowl as her omni-tool scanned me. That squared my shoulders a little.
"Walk me through it," I said as the quarian relaxed and parked his rear-end on a chair.
"Captain, there is an asari named Liara T'Soni by the airlock," a salarian summoned. My eyes blinked, snapping out of my daze, datapad in hand as the noise of the CIC reached me. My gaze swept up to the salarian, my mind too muddled to remember a name. White skinned, green eyes, albino salarian... oh!
"Thank you, Sherin. I'll see to it," I said, slipping the datapad into my large pockets on my legs, tearing myself away from the engine reports. It had been two days since my legs worked again and about and 5 days since we docked, stuck due to the severe engine overhaul the engineers requested. They got all the time in the galaxy for it. After the last month, we needed those things running with no further flaws. My feet tapped down hall to reach the airlock, leaving the noise of the CIC behind. The silvery grey corridors needed colour or it would drive me insane. The airlock popped open once. Liara turned to face me, waiting by the banister staring over the vast array of ships docked here. She smiled when she caught sight of me.
"Dell, it is good to see you again. Apologies for the lack of contact the past few days. The... information I got from the Shadow Broker's guards was too valuable to ignore," Liara said. My hand waved, dismissing her words with a smile.
"Liara, its fine. Just as well you didn't come. The Starquake has been a mess the past few days," I said.
"I had heard you had been out of action for a few days. I suppose living with a Reaper is not the easiest problem to deal with," Liara said.
"It's the first time she's knocked me out like that. I hope it doesn't become too commonplace," I shrugged, a shudder running down my spine.
"Then I would recommend that you do not annoy this Reaper, at least until you can understand how it works. You are leaving today, yes?" Liara added. I nodded, making a soft sound of agreement in my throat while her words turned in my head. Dammit, she made too much sense.
"Yeah, we've completed the repairs and we need to get moving. We're almost out of money," I grumbled. "I hope the bloody STG pay up," Liara furrowed her brow. "Long story. Anyway, want a tour?" My thumb pointed over my shoulder to the Starquake. Liara strained a laugh.
"Another time, perhaps. I'm afraid I cannot stay long. I have business I need to attend to soon, meetings and such like. I came to see how you were doing and to see if I could gain some new contact details. I doubt your Normandy mail address works," Liara replied.
"No, no. They deleted it after the um... Keplar issue," I said with a cough. My omni-tool lit, fingers flicking through the menus. "But here, don't be a stranger now," Liara laughed.
"Indeed. The same goes for you, Dell. Where are you heading to next on your wild adventures?" she asked.
"The Citadel. I need to get as close to Sovereign as I can. I need to learn about indoctrination, maybe any ties with the Saboteurs if I can pin down Saria T'Spia. Fucking Saboteur," I snarled at the name. Liara frowned.
"That... may be difficult," she began. It was my turn to frown, "First, Saria T'Spia is a very prominent figure in C-Sec. She will head to top ranks in a few months at her rate. I doubt you could 'pin her down' and expect answers. More likely she will have indoctrinated officers by her side. She'll pin you down and question you," My expression blanked. That wasn't... what I wanted to hear. She was the only other Saboteur we knew of other than myself. There was nothing else to go on! Liara continued onwards.
"And regarding the remnants of Sovereign, they are under intense guard. Not just anyone can get access to them. I also doubt the Council would forget your name, so you may have an even more challenging time getting permission with Saria in hand. Although, she may lay a trap for you. I would not recommend going the Citadel, Dell, not if you can avoid it," My lip nipped as my teeth chewed it, taking her words in. "I will keep an ear out for any information that may be useful to you. Reapers, Saboteurs, Indoctrination... I have a few reports that you may or may not already have if you are interested."
"Anything at this point would be a God-sent, Liara. Thank you," I said. Liara smiled.
"Anything for a friend. Please be careful, Dell. After Shepard's death... I do not wish to lose anyone else," she sighed. My arms wrapped around the taller asari to comfort her. Shepard had been an asshole, but Liara and he were close. With luck, she could move on soon.
"I'll be careful, I have to," I said with a snort. "I have a crew of just under 50 to look after," Liara grinned.
"And all will look to you for help and guidance while you try to make it look like you know what you are doing," Liara added. The groan escaped before it could be reined in.
"Pretty much," I sighed. "Take care, Liara. I'll be in contact soon," the asari nodded just as her omni-tool flared on her arm. An incoming call. We shared a knowing look as she turned and walked down the dock, disappearing from view with a finger pressed to her ear. My feet stepped back into the Starquake, awaiting take-off.
About four hours, and a mass relay jump, later, I settled back into my quarters. Back to the gentle hum, now sounding much healthier than they had a week ago. It gave me the encouragement to re-read the engine reports for the hundredth time, glancing over the papers that Liara had mailed me. A finger tapped a nervous rhythm, my tongue clucking. My eyes skimmed the screen before me, awaiting the important call. If they did not call within the next 10 minutes, they would get a call from me! Damn, dealing with the bloody STG was like having your teeth pulled out. Why were they being so stingy? First they gave us a ship they never maintained, then they refused to give us the money we needed to survive. What were they going to do next? Make me dance like a goddam monkey-
The screen flashed, making me jump as a blinking icon and gentle dinging showing the long awaited call had arrived. My shoulders squared, crossing my arms and a leg, checking my composure before hitting the answer button. The mucky scarlet salarian stared at me, large amber eyes emotionless. A slow breath pulled into my lungs to calm myself as my back relaxed against the chair behind me. I couldn't screw this up!
"Captain Rolidin, good afternoon," I greeted.
"Captain Shaik," he answered. My breathing evened to calm my composure.
"We have picked up the scientists from Illium and we are now on course for Ilos," I said. "Will the funding be much longer? We will need it to refuel," the salarian cocked a brow. My hope sank.
"Captain Shaik, your server banks are still not operational and you are asking for money?" he questioned. My shoulders rattled.
"You said nothing about our servers having to be operational, captain. You informed me the STG would pay up when we picked up the new scientists. The new scientists have joined us," I answered, although my voice was catching on some words. The salarian shrugged.
"I have my orders and you have yours. See to them," was his response.
"Wait a min-" I started. My jaw floundered at a blank screen. The bastard hung up on me! That absolute asshat! My scream rang around the room as loud as my lungs could muster, frustration and stress climaxing. Those bastards! Anyone who said the STG did a good damn job would get their necks wrung!
My arms threw the chair back, feet pushing me up to storm out of my quarters. Rolidin had soiled my mood and sent my blood boiling. This needed a strangling to cure. My fist slammed down on the elevator button, pacing before the door. Why where they so desperate to hang onto their money? Didn't Mat'al have sorted out with the STG?! Once the elevator arrived, the whole thing quaked as my feet paced with ever growing agitation, waiting for it to cough me out on my floor. The engineers had sped it up, but it still didn't feel fast enough. The pacing eased by the time the doors parted in the CIC. Raisha stood within the Command Ring, datapad in hand. The honey-crested krogan raised a brow at my thunderous expression.
"I take it the STG call did not go well then," Raisha stated. My tongue ran over my teeth in agitation.
"I want to strangle a salarian," I hissed. Several salarian crew members glanced over, wary at the venom in my tone. My temper was more than a little infamous. "They are still refusing to send us the money! Now they want to wait until the servers are up!" My feet thundered as they tore up the ground, my pace quickening. Anthon cleared his throat. The dark green salarian had a backbone, I'd give him that. He was one of only two salarians who will tell me what they thought despite my mood. Mat'al was the other without saying.
"The science team has done an isolated test run of the server systems," he flicked his fingers over his datapad. A notification blinked on my datapad. "Everything seems to be alright. A few bugs in the system to work out, though,"
"That would be the same with any damn computer though." I said with a grumble as my eyes scanned the report. "Do they know what's in these programs?"
"There's a few they aren't too sure about, but they are intelligent. They'll figure it out," Anthon shrugged. A growl rumbled in my throat.
"Dammit, everything is on time! They know that! Why is the STG being so crab-arse tight about this?" I snapped.
"They are looking after their own interests, Endellion," Raisha responded, eyes locked onto an orange hologram. "We are an expensive and risky investment," My pacing continued, her words ignored.
"You'd think they'd want us to fail at this rate-" My words cut short, pace stopped mid-step. The halt of my anger grabbed everyone's attention in the room. My rage vented to its fullest. My words stopping was worrying. The silence was heavy. My brain had frozen, small snippets of information crawling through my head like insects. The datapad rose to eye level, re-reading the computer report. Every word stood out, analysing the various reports; the engine report, the server report. Dread, fear, realisation. All hammered me at the same time. Shit! The datapad vanished from my hand, clattering to the ground as my legs sprung me towards the Control Ring. My hand slammed on the intercom as Raisha moved away from the computer banks, slipping out of my path. Her brow furrowed.
"Science team, drop whatever you are doing. Right. Now!" I ordered. They were just next door but this was quicker than yelling over a dozen voices and sounds. "I don't care if you are screwing something in, lifting something or whatever, drop everything! I want those servers off my ship and into the nearest sun, ASAP! That's an order!" My gaze spun to the crew around me. "Get me the fucking STG on the line!" Not a breath breezed through the room. "Now!" The CIC erupted into a clamour of activity as people scrambled, some to look busy, some to get the STG on a large, holographic screen. My whole body quaked, fists trembling at my sides. The doors behind me opened, my eyes trained towards the cockpit.
"What the fuck, Endellion?" Mat'al snap. My gaze skimmed over him. "I've spent weeks on these things. Absolute weeks. And you want to throw them out the airlock? Have you gone insane?!" he demanded. My gaze hardened, jaw too tight to speak, watching the salarian rattle and fume, growing more agitated with each passing heartbeat.
"STG on the line now, Captain," Lanster's voice informed me, voice tight. My eye swung away from Mat'al to the holographic screen appearing on the bow upper floor screens.
"Oh no you don't! I want answers-" Mat'al began.
"Captain Shaik. So soon?" the red salarian raised a brow.
"Do you think I'm an idiot?" I asked. "Did you think I wouldn't figure it out in time? Do I look that retarded?" my voice rose to full thunder.
"Do not speak to me so, Shaik! I am Captain-" Rolidin began, rage beginning in his eyes. My harsh laughter cut him short.
"Are you? Or are you like Xanthe?" I asked. Rolidin paused. "Commando, I presume, I don't know what other classes you bastards have. You ain't getting your goddam servers up and running. They are going in the goddam sun-bin!" my voice thundered.
"Dell!" Mat'al snapped. "My apologies, Rolidin, she isn't like this-" Mat'al stopped, staring, while the salarian captain broke into laughter. My nerve trembled, but eyes remained firm. The entire room around me was silent.
"Ah, Advocacy. You surprise us yet again," the salarian smiled. My lips lifted into a snarl. "But not well enough," he said, hands raised as he typed at his computer, face emptying of all emotion. "The engine issues you have been having to date? I am afraid you have not seen the worst of it yet," he intertwined his fingers under his chin. My eyes stayed locked to the salarian on the screen, muscles tense as the seconds ticked by. "I wonder how you will fare when all your engines malfunction in the darkness of space, far from help," Rage blurred my vision red. All fell silent around us. Rolidin's expression scrunched, scanning the screens around him with confusion.
"Oh, so that's what those little boxes were," Shayan laughed. My head snapped to face him. He flushed under my incredulous gaze. "Oh, w-we found these little black boxes while taking apart the number two engine. I-it was odd so we checked the other engines and found them there too. Since they didn't seem to do anything weren't we... removed them," he shrugged, "T-To save weight you see. We threw them into the incinerator on Illium," Joy burst through me like a bomb.
"Shayan, I could kiss you right now," I said. Shayan blushed. Rolidin received a smirk from me as my arms folded, raising my chin. "Well then, Saboteur. Looks like your little plan failed," the salarian's expression emptied.
"You are most... resourceful, Advocacy," he began. "Perhaps keeping the engines functioning would have fared better... we had hoped to re-create..."
"What the hell are you mumbling about?" I demanded.
"Very well, Advocacy Shell. You have won this battle. Nyryntha, you have until our arrival to bring this Shell to heel," Rolidin said. The screen died, a blank hologram hovering before us.
The sense of dread escaped from me, my eyes closing as my head flopped backwards. My relief died in a heartbeat. Nyryntha roared in my head, a robotic screech of utter contempt. When my eyes opened, they saw the ceiling, white spots blotting my vision as pain ricocheted around me, every muscle twitching. Mat'al and Raisha hovered above me, hands holding my twisting body.
The Fact Sheet and Saboteur Sheet have been updated for this chapter. Please see profile for link to Archive.