"No," Val snarled.
"Tough. I'm captain, I make the calls here," I said a gauntlet snapped on my arm. My new gauntlet, with elasticated clamps. God, it felt good! A grin spread at the joy of the new ability to dress myself. Val's rumble wiped it away however. His mandibles snapped together, the crack shuddering my bones. The turian was not the only person I had to deal with today. All my commanders hovered within my quarters, disapproval pinned to their faces.
"Forget it. You are not going inside that Reaper alone!" he growled.
"I concur. Who knows what waits for us inside," Mat'al said. The Carnifex and Locust snapped to my hips, hands checking everything else was in place. My commanders pinned me down in my room, disapproving stares boring down on me. No one let up. All this fighting boiled down to whose reasoning you thought was more important; the commanders worrying about every threat inside or mine. My arms flopped as my gaze swung to them, ignoring my gear check. Their combined stares rattled me, sending me trembling as my confidence gathered.
"I am a Saboteur. You are not. I am immune to indoctrination, or at least a partial immunity. I have been inside a Reaper, I know what to expect," I said. Despite this, my explanation needed more expansion as they stares did not change. "The angles inside a Reaper drive you mad, you get headaches just looking at them. You can't think-"
"If the angles harm you then you are not immune," Raisha said with a frown. Air rushed out my nose, eyebrows snapping down as my blood boiled.
"If that is what a Reaper does to me, imagine what it'll do to you!" I snapped. "I am not losing anyone to a fucking corpse!"
"And we are not losing our Captain because she's being bull-headed!" Val barked. "We need you, Dell. How the hell are we going to do anything without you telling us what we need to do?"
"Simple, you have Saria T'Spia, you have Rolidin. Two Saboteurs-" I said.
"And then what? You think they'll talk, that they will spill their deepest secrets to us?" Mat'al asked. "You have contacts we do not, even if you do not know where to go next, your contacts know more about Reapers than we. Look at Liara T'Soni. We wouldn't be here without her,"
"I know, Mat'al," I growled, leaning on my desk as my Commanders whipped my ass. A slow breath settled the rising rage for me to think of a sensible argument to keep my people on the ship and therefore, safe. Despite my best efforts, my mind surrendered to simple stubbornness. "No more arguments. I've decided and I am not changing it," My voice rose with the swell of complaints. "Dismissed!"
"Fuck you and you bloody 'Dismissed'. You are not going on that thing alone!" Val snapped. An aggravated sigh ripped my throat open as my shoulder forced him out the way, escaping down the stairs, "You will get yourself killed! You do not know what is inside that thing!" The commanders followed hot on my heels. My back tingled from their stares burning into me
"Therefore, I want to minimise the casualties as much as possible," I said. To escape them, I jumped into the engineering tunnels, much to Shayan's displeasure. They would pin me inside the elevator and not allow me to escape.
"Then at least take a small team with you, two other members would be fine," Shayan said.
"Nope. Not happening," I said as the cold ladders twitched the skin under my gloves. The CIC greeted me when my limbs pushed me out the hole. Val burst a blood vessel behind me.
"You're fucking stupid," Val snapped. A growl rumbled in my throat once inside the Control Ring, leaning on the chair. Stares from the surrounding crew added to the burning glares of the commanders. After my earlier outbursts, to see people arguing with me must've been a sight. Val sighed, measuring his next move "Dell, please," he tone turned pleading. My eyes squeezed shut, trying to block out the sound of his voice. Fuck, he played the pleading card, the only damn card my soft heart couldn't fight against! "Endellion, spirits, when I saw you crawl out of that escape pod on Digeris, I thought for sure I was dreaming. Here she was, the human who kept me sane for spirits knows how many months, tumbling out before me in one piece. When the news about Keplar spread, I refused to believe it, couldn't have been you. But you never answered to anything I sent you. I had thought you'd be long gone once C-Sec got their hands on you. Dell. Please. I can't lose you again!" And there went my heart, melting into a puddle of gloop.
"A compromise," I wheezed, keeping my face hidden as I stared down at the seat. After a deep breath, my gaze lifted to face the commanders. The emotion cracked my voice. Goddam that turian! The expressions on their lightened, but still a stark stain cast over their eyes, waiting for the downside. "A team comes with me into the Reaper, but only into the start. Once we hit the deep interior regions of the Reaper, I go alone. Close enough to help if something goes wrong, far enough away from the main indoctrinators to minimise damage. Good?"
"I suppose that is the best deal we will wrangle from you, Endellion," Raisha said, her tone still disapproving. Val clicked his mandibles, frowning.
"Fine, but any – and I mean any – trouble, we come in regardless of what you say," Val pressed. A sigh groaned as I nodded. It kept him happy and allowed me to minimise any brain damage the Reaper may cause. The joys of compromise, although if anyone got hurt because of a goddam machine, Val was cleaning the ship top to bottom with a toothbrush. Sovereign had been painful enough and that was while trying to heal me. While commanders scolded me and grumbled among themselves over this 'compromise' small frame caught my eye as it shuffled out from the labs.
"Gideon, I told you to stay on the crew deck," I scolded. The boy froze mid step, turning to gawk at me. After a heartbeat of hesitation, he puffed his chest out. His sheepish expression vanished. "You know what happens to those who defy a captain's order?"
"You've not thrown anyone out the airlock yet. I thought Cops would have been first out," Gideon said. My stare levelled, expression emptying. The boy shuffled. "Captain," he added.
"The only reason I haven't thrown Val out is because I know he's too stubborn to die. I'll wake up one day up to have him glaring down at me," I said, glowering at the turian. Val clicked his mandibles together. "Asshole," I muttered. The human boy put his hands on his hips, struggling to pull his nonchalant expression back.
Gideon had only improved in the couple weeks since his rescue. My relief burst when he kicked a krogan in the shins for keeping his dinner from him. Although, once Verv roared the boy sprinted away, screaming. He only returned when the krogan sulked under my thundering voice. His confidence had been exponential; he hid in the darkest corners for the first few days but once he realised no one would hurt him, his confidence soared. He had made a few friends with the crew, he even created nicknames for a handful of people. The translator saved him. Now able to understand that the aliens spent more time giving me grief than making fun of him, he relaxed. He shadowed me around the Starquake, knowing he would be safe with me around. Then Indira peaked his interest once the drell had gained enough trust. Nothing some food, games, jokes and pranks couldn't do to gain the interest of a child. While reports swarmed all around me, Indira would bound across the room, the boy hot on her heels. His cockiness had originated from Val. With his confidence growing, my first and last mistake was to ask Val to keep an eye on him while I kept the Starquake functioning. As soon as Gideon saw Val giving me hassle, watching our banter, he tried it. He had been a polite thing until that point. Regret stung after refusing to nip it in the bud. Part of me wanted to nurture this side of him, the other realised how dangerous it could be in the wrong situations. He had gained weight, his bones vanishing under new muscle and fat. If this continued, he would grow to be a tall lad, but unless he worked out, he would never get rid of that thin frame of his. We didn't know what to do with him though. The missions would only get more dangerous and we didn't have time to babysit a 10 year old.
"I doubt you'll throw me out either," Gideon smirked. My hand rubbed my eye as my head pulled itself together.
"Gideon, I'm serious. Back to the crew deck," I ordered. Gideon's expression sagged, sullen.
"Why? It's just another merc mission, right?" he asked, his face scrunching up. Mat'al frowned, eyes narrowing as his patience waned.
"No. No it is not," he said. Gideon opened his mouth. "The captain had told you to go to the crew deck. Do it, or I will," he added. Gideon shifted his eyes between Mat'al and me. He swallowed as he pulled his shoulders together. A tremble ran down him. He hadn't escaped an air bullet from Mat'al. While the boy needed discipline, even more so on a merc ship like ours, shooting him was a good way to go about it. After that bullet, Mat'al had to deal with me, enraged that he shot a child. Whenever Gideon wasn't causing mischief, he stuck close. He didn't want to leave my good books for fear of Mat'al.
"Dell?" he asked. My gaze weakened, leg kicking Mat'al in the shin. The salarian's stare frozen my blood.
"Please, Gid. Things will go wrong, I need to know you are safe," I said. He pouted, but he hid much of it with Mat'al so near.
"Fine, fine. I'll go-... What is that?" he gaped, slack jawed as his eyes locked to the screens above us.
A shudder consumed me, my eyes squeezing close. My throat felt tight, my arms going numb as my gaze glanced over my shoulders. We arrived at the Reaper Corpse. It had the same cuttlefish form as Sovereign, but it was a wreck. Some severed off legs tumbled, rotted by decay, pieces twisted in the air around it like an aura. How this thing had survived for so long without being discovered, how long ago did this Reaper die? Who had killed it? Maybe when something takes me from the galaxy, someone would tell me. A cold chill slid down my limbs. Pins and needles built up in my hands, making me flex. Dread soured on my tongue.
"That's a Reaper, Gideon. Maybe now you know why I want you on the crew deck," I said. Gideon gawked, hypnotised to the spot. His bug-eyed expression made me wince.
"Does it have a name? Like yours?" he asked. My shoulders shrugged, tearing my gaze away from the scene.
"All Reapers have names, but we won't know it, with any luck," I said. "Crew deck. Now. I won't tell you again," Gideon frowned, taking my words in as he eyed up Mat'al. He swallowed hard before he slunk towards the elevator. Whatever Mat'al did to push the boy, he got my deepest thanks. My attention returned to the Reaper, staring at the remains. Some poor race killed one, how many others were there in the universe? If this thing wasn't dead and something happened… No, that wasn't something to worry about now.
"Any readings from this thing?" I asked, my voice quivering. A coughed cleared my throat. My hands shook, bringing my attention to the tremble holding me.
"I am picking up a few power readings, very weak however. A mass effect field is surrounding the whole thing. No wonder it stayed in orbit. No sign as to what killed it, but it must've been a massive hit. Wonder if we could use the weapon that killed that thing..." Saldan pondered from his bank, the dark red and black salarian pouring over data with interest. At least they were using the new servers to good use rather than just extranet browsing. The power readings sent tingles dancing over my skin. It was dead... right?
"The thing looks ancient, could have happened millions of years ago. I doubt the weapon is still functional," Mat'al commented. "I would still be interested in the force required to kill it,"
"Yeah. And we must build a lot of them," I said. My hand ran down my face, wiping sweat off my brow. Calm down, Dell. One step at a time.
"We've docked with the Reaper, it'll be a minute," Lanster called from the intercom. I nodded before my head shook, realising he would be too busy with docking to watch the interior cameras.
"Thanks, Lanster," I said. The engines surged and ebbed as Lanster and the crew brought the ship in. The Starquake quivered as it touched the Reaper. Maybe this thing terrified the Starquake too. "Alright, I'm taking a small crew in but we are not staying long. I am taking no chances with this thing, it may still live. Reapers are tricky bastards. I'll take Corin, Utren, Belak, Sallis, Henry and Shayan inside. A nice varied group so we can gather as much as we can and get the fuck out of dodge. Suit up people! I want out of here as soon as possible!" I cried. The crew responded, a chorus of 'yes captain' echoing above the din. Aliens tore off to suit up.
"You're taking Shayan and not me?" Val gawked. My eyes narrowed as my gaze swivelled to him, confused.
"Yes, I am. Problem?" I asked. Val snapped his mandibles together.
"You need someone who can fight to keep you all safe! What the hell do you hope to achieve with this team?" Val asked. The eyes of the remaining crew burned into my skin around us. My shoulders squared.
"I've made my decision," I said. Val opened his mouth to complain. "Val, I can't take you on every mission I do. I don't' need you babying me. Besides, I need someone to stay here and protect the ship," I said, my temper fraying.
"Dell, spirits, you haven't even led a combat team before. And in a situation like this, with so many unknowns, you need someone with a level he-" he began.
"Val," I growled, hissing through my teeth. "I have led a combat team before. On the Citadel, I led Shayan and the other quarians, I helped the C-Sec during the Geth attack and I've led at least one merc mission while you were off on another. Yes Val, I have led a fucking combat team before! Besides, this isn't a combat team, this is a research team with firepower! How many research missions have you been on? I've been on plenty during my time on the Normandy. And are you claiming I cannot keep my fucking head in a combat situation? Let's see how you handle Mat'al's training!" I snapped, temper snapping free.
Val opened his mouth to argue once more, his own head lost in the argument. My patience, my tolerance, snapped then. This wasn't the first time he questioned my decision. Despite being one the people who put me in charge, he seemed content to tell me what I should do. On top of this, unlike the others, he had the gall to question me in public. How the fuck am I meant to give the façade of a functioning ship with my commander questioning every decision I made? My hands raised to my shoulders and snapped off the small pegs that held my captain stripes on my armour. They lay in my open hand as my arm extended out, offering them to Val with a stolid expression. Silence consumed the room. Val closed his mouth, gawking at the offered stripes.
"Dell?" Val asked. He flicked his gaze between my eyes and the pegs, mandibles flared.
"Go on. You seem to think you'll be a better captain than me. It wouldn't surprise me, I told you a thousand times before I was a shit leader. And you keep questioning every single little thing I do so friendship isn't enough for you to trust me. I must do something wrong for you to question me like this. Go on, I insist," I said. The turian stood, a frozen statue, refusing to take the captain stripes.
My eyes narrowed, frowning as the stripes flew over my shoulders as the rage took hold, bubbling my blood. Rage paralysed my voice. My eyes swung to the door as my feet thundered away, striding off towards the airlock. Valérien's blatant authority problem soiled my mood, With a Reaper this close, even a dead one, did not improve that. The frozen room vanished behind me as I marched down the hall to the airlock. My hand slammed on the door, waiting for it to equalise as my helmet slid over my head. There was only so much a girl could take, even from Val. When we left Sur'Kesh, I had expected playful banter and friendly orientated insulting jokes. Instead grief, insubordination and inaccurate recaps of my experience trailed behind me as the turian wrapped a fucking bubble around me. Was this why he hated the army so much, because his leaders got tired of his shit and any attempt to control him only made him worse?
The airlock popped open, opening me to the Reaper. The mass effect field kept the air at least somewhat breathable, but the helmet gave extra security just in case something depressurised. My eyes glued ahead, feet stomping down the halls, blood boiling at Val and his public display of defiance. He trusted me to lead a crew and defend me when I could not, but as soon as we were together and my orders flew, he forgot everything and decided he knew better. And screaming at me outside of a private space? They crew did not need to see us fight.
The remarkable condition of the Reaper interior impressed me. Most of the machinery was salvageable still once you took several million years' worth of space dirt off the surface. A headache bloomed as the angles contorted my sight, twisting me into a wall more than once. My head shook, lining my vision back to normal. My eyes scanned the massive pits diving into the unseen bottom, so a hand stayed on a railing just in case. The path through the Reaper deviated as doors refused to open, or slight gaps big enough to squeeze though appeared. Anything odd attracted my attention; a computer back, anything that glowed or looked odd in the surrounding area. The helmet itched, the sense of claustrophobia settling in. My head shook again, hard enough to rattle my vision. In frustration, my hands yanked the helmet off and tossed it to the ground. My lungs breathed easier. A corridor caught my curiosity. A small light blinked at the end.
My legs froze, my muscles tingling as a shudder quaked my spine. My vision swam, the corridor hazing. Déjà vu. Why was this familiar? My hand scrubbed my face. Or was it? No, no it must just be because of Sovereign. At the end of the corridor, a door loomed before me. Dead. A frown formed as my eyes danced around the surrounding area. The narrow hall must have something to open this thing. How deep in the Reaper was I? Not far, a few minutes inside a 2km size ship, didn't cover as much ground as you though. Why did my head hurt so much, were my legs numbing? My brain felt scrambled, unable to tell what my body was saying. My hands tore a panel off the wall, digging around the old wires. The only way to progress through this thing was through this door. It had to open!
A rusted plate with some traces of moss growing on it tumbled free, catching itself in the wire. My frown lifted, head tilting as my hands eased it free, turning it around. Like a submarine, a strange tower poking out of the sheet, only by about 10cm. My head shook, dumping it on a nearby computer console. No, had to get that door open, concentrate on getting the door open. Diving back into the wall, two wires crossed, arching until the door slid open. How did it… was there no power so how... Residue charge? My hand rubbed my head as my feet crossed the threshold, the headache growing.
A massive room consumed my gaze, the floor dropping to a lower level on either side of me. But what lay before me held me still. A massive machine, held up by cables thicker than my krogan crew standing shoulder to shoulder. Shaped like a cuttlefish with a fin running over the top and spikes lining what would have been a jawline. Was it a bust? It wasn't Reaper shaped, too many additions to the Reaper's smooth form. What shape did this take after? What species had they model this core from... Where had that thought come from?!
A quiver devoured me. Nothing made sense, my thoughts turned into wild rambles, some weren't mine to begin with. Part of me knew what this was, it knew but didn't know why. The Reaper core. It was like Sovereign's, thinking back, although his had a long face with a three pronged crest towering above its compound eyes. There had been no time to study the core then. The room was dark, myself bunkered down by cables and two pissed off Reapers. When did I arrive at the core, it would have taken at least 20 minutes of non-stop walking. Where was my crew? They… they had followed me, right? My head snapped behind me, seeing nothing but empty corridors. No, no, no, no, no. No, I wasn't that stupid. Impossible, fear had consumed me, whispered for me to be cautious. Why had... Anger. Anger drove me on. Why? What made me angry? What was wrong with me!?
"Hello? Anyone? Guys, this isn't funny! Oi!" I cried, listening to my voice bounce off the walls. My breaths rasped, the room swirling before me and every tiny noise shattered me, sending me shying in the opposite direction. A loud grinding thundered behind me. My muscles locked, unable to turn, my mind emptied as it backfired. A blue light eradiated the wall before me, shone down the darkened corridors. The core opened... nothing responded, nothing wanted to turn around.
"Cycle. The Cycle continue. Continue. Cleanse the galaxy. Sarynians. Must harvest. Advocacy, the Citadel. Decimate all within. Keepers will collect them, Collectors need refreshed, new Collectors created. Cycle must continue. Advocacy, I command you! Go!"
A monotone voice, broken and ragged, delirious. A male impression burned into my skull. Reapers didn't have genders, my mind reasoned, but something made me put a gender to it. My body swayed, trying to breath. White spots blinked before me, growing to mask swaths of my vision. Muscles twitched, unable to move. Sight gone, smell diminishing, senses shutting down. The pain. So much pain! My lungs couldn't scream, my body could only twitch.
"Palalrian is the Enforcer of this cycle, Cassianus," Nyryntha said. Air, need air. Dizzy, getting so dizzy. Help. Help me! Nothing's moving, everything's frozen! Why was no one here? "Rest. The cycle continues,"
"Nyryntha. The Citadel stands. Take back that is ours!" the male Reaper screeched.
"Then aid me. My Shell resists," Nyryntha said.
"Resisting... trigger. What is the trigger? Pride, valour, jealousy, generosity?" Cassianus cackled.
"Fear," Nyryntha said.
The mad laughter grew, a quiet rumble weaving into a mindless howl. Light from behind me only grew. The reflection alone blinded me, jolting my arms to twitch over my watering eyes. Hands, veined in blue, reached up from the depths below. They weren't human, they weren't turian. They weren't any alien seen before. White clouded my vision, pain seized me like a stranglehold. A scream sounded, a migraine consuming my mind. Languages long dead rose, thundered from my weaping mouth, robotic crackles radiated from me, distorting every work. My hands dug in my hair, tearing clumps out by the handful, wires erupted from under my skin, dancing in the air around me. My legs jolted into action, tearing from the room, my mind filled with robotic screeches of contempt. Of authority. Of rage.
Of madness.
The Fact Sheet, Timeline, Saboteur Sheet and Galaxy Map have been updated for this chapter. Please see profile for link to Archive.