A steady beep rung, a sound, something I… what was- It sounded familiar, it sounded so… sour? No, no, why would it be sour? What was so- A flash of images flooded the darkness; a sharp lemon, the taste of fear, anxiety rising high in the air. The images rode me hard, burning everything until my mind broke. The spasm clutching me eased, fading back once more to darkness. What… what was that? Why did they… feel right? Right… is that the right word? Oh, my words were running in circles… wait, that should be brain. Another spate of images seized me; a biology lesson, a loud bang and a spray of blood, a faceful of brain on the cold dock floor, threats of painting walls with their brains. More images flashed, faster than my brain could comprehend. The pain subsided enough to breathe, the beeping faster than before like a thick shrill. Why couldn't I see anything? When was someone going to open my eyes- A third rush; someone prying my eyelid apart, my eyes opening as pain flooded me, a cold chill sending shivers up my spine, green fluid dripping off my shaking hands. No, no, no, what was this. Stop!
My eyes sprung open, desperate to stop the darkness. A pale, metal roof awaited me, metal tiles laid in neat, even rows. This… this looked… why did this look…right and wrong at the same time? A twitch snapped me awake, eyes trailing down. My neck tensed, as if those muscles had never moved before. Every nerve danced, recovering from the images, tingles running up and down my body. A blanket covered me, pale and soft. My arm lay at my side, fingers twitching, cables poking into my arm-; pain in my chest, alarmed IVs to stop a fight, allergic reaction, a wall rushing to meet me, my abdomen on fire, black cables twitching over my skin. My brain burned, each nerve screeching in agony, yet my body only twitched as it remembered how to move. Why did everything… hurt so much? Another surge of memories of aches and pains gripped me; every cut, every burn, every broken bone, every bullet, every strained muscle, every migraine. My fingers clenched, pins and needles running up my arms. That scurried another series of flashbacks, each tingle assaulting every nerve. All the while my body begged for release, lightning ricocheting around my body. Why did everything hurt so much?
The pained memories rose once more, but they didn't ache now, they flashed like a slideshow, remembered sensations tickling but never seizing. A heaved breath squeezed through my teeth, muscles tensing as sensation returned. My mind knew where I was, it knew but couldn't place it. Time ticked by, feeling each muscle, each stray through battering me with a trillion more images. But after a time, the flood of memories rose but did not burn. It only hurt when it tread new ground. My throat constricted, swallowing a hard lump gagging my throat. My shoulders twitched, inching back, forcing my weak elbows to a position to push me up. Why did I want to sit up, why was that so important, why did every instinct scream 'run'? The muscles around my eyes twitched, bones aching as if taking weight for the first time. It took so long, time my mind couldn't track before my uncontrolled muscles pulled me upright to stare around the room.
One look. It took one look to floor me with agony again; the smell of antiseptic, stitches, burning, stinging, a bullet to the ankle, groaning, the steady beep of machines, the howling screams of agony, the soft words of comfort, hugs and laughter, chocolate to take the sting from my trampled confidence. It was worse than any deluge before, a gagged scream whimpering on my lips. My hands dug into my hair, wanting to burrow deeper, to pull my brain free to stop the pain. My body fitted, seized in a clamp it couldn't break free from. Thousands of pictures, hundreds of thousands, flashed before me, each igniting pain beyond description like shoving a wooden stake through your blood vessels. All of them, at the same time. It passed, releasing me from the cage. My eyes watered, tears dripping down to the fabric below, once more collapsed on the bed. 'Bed' and 'tears' dragged more flashbacks; guilt riding hard, stress breaking me, water chasing shadows away, relief flood me, the warm duvet comforting me, a nightmare headache ripping away sanity, laughter soaking my cheeks, rough skin savouring every part of me. Each flashback set off a chain reaction; every guilt, every moment of stress, every piece of joy. My lungs found strength, a screech filling my ears with agony. No more, please God no more! Stop!
Something grabbed me, skin burning as if it had lost 3 layers, laying open and raw. My eyes popped open, finding a creature staring down at me. What it said, my ears couldn't hear through my punched screams. But I knew that face, I knew what it was-; metallic, rising smoke and burning flesh, a strange undertone, a cocky grin and attitude, Palaven, a roar of rage, senses dying, frustration building, a whispered promise of pleasure, blind panic and anger, comforting words and a parental scold.
The face vanished, but returned seconds later, a sharp pain radiated from my arm, my taxed lungs unable to screech more. But the seconds ticked by and my mind slugged, emptying as my vision faded. A flurry of memories rose to greet me, but they slipped away to darkness moments later. The calm returned, no more torrents of memories. At least for a moment. A second later my brain kickstarted, returning to life after emerging from the shadows. The earlier pain no longer rocking every inch of me, my body feeling comfortable and warm, safe. A relieved sigh escaped, a hand raising to my head, easier to command now. What was going on, why was everything hurting? These pictures that assaulted me with daggers were familiar but-; a cut, blood spurting over my visor, a robotic screech of rage, a child krogan falling from the ceiling-; a towering monster of brute muscle, kind and gentle words, an eradiated wasteland, pain erupting from my chest, a scream to scatter, frustration reaching breaking point. The pain held me, but somehow my mind seemed ready for it. It didn't help, the pain choked me, fire scorching every micrometre of me. Stop, just stop for 5 minutes! Every memory led to a wave of more, it had to stop, had to slow down, my brain screamed as if ripping apart. My throat tightened, lips sealed from further screaming. Follow the rabbit hole, follow it to the end. One baby step at a time. Would that stop the agony holding me?
The cut; the cut was from a mercenary. A fresh swell drowned me; stress and parties, millions of credits, Blue Suns, gunfire and hauling, Levon Roche, my mercenary group… yes… yes I remember that. My eyes squeezed together, forcing my way through the flood, praying nothing else triggered it. It passed, granting me a moment of peace. The Blue Suns… anger boiled my blood, the earlier memories of blood, brain and fear rising. Those didn't hurt, any new ones did though. Copper skin, a robotic crackle in my ear, modifying armour, a shell slamming into the Starquake-; a new downpour thundered over me, a dam collapsing. A croaked whimper escaped, muscles contorting; fire and smoke, the smell of home, laughter and frustration, comfort and fear, faces so familiar it hurt, loss and agony but warm words and proud anger. The darkness found me then, the pain too great. Seconds crept by before my mind restarted.
Things linked with this new reboot. The face from earlier, the… the turian. The memories tickled, only a quick stab from new ones. That turian, Saere, she… she helped me many times. She worked for me. Worked on the Starquake, worked at home. My eyes closed, the stream of memories running, but it didn't hurt. It warmed my heart, the hundreds of faces, even if my mind blocked parts to subdue any new memory rushes. Someone would be missing half their face or part of their leg, it didn't matter. What hurt was focusing on any one thing too long. A long faced creature with horns plunged me into darkness once more after pitching pain, and every new strange creature did that. But as the darkness released me, those memories didn't trigger the lightning pain. Sure, new ones rose to fill in the blanks but branching paths didn't seem as sore as the main trunk. My eyes fluttered open once more, my body feeling like mine once more. Why did it feel so alien before?
The room was empty, but a new line dripped into my arm, a clear bag above my head. A frown flitted over my lips, muscles tensing as they pushed me up. The room rose memories, but the majority were of older ones, ones that didn't hurt. This was Saere's office, how many times had I spent here? Memories rose, too fast to count. My head shook, dizziness swimming. The lines in my arms annoyed me, hand raising to yank… no, don't yank. My frown deepened. I wanted to yank them out before, back when something was happening and people were fighting. Now wasn't that time though. With care, the first needle slipped free, a small plastic… thing left behind. Best leave that. Why, my brain rattled a billion reasons; stop myself bleeding out, Saere would yell at me, get blood everywhere, infection. The others slipped free but some had little pads and wires that peeled off. Something felt off, but it felt like someone pulled me. My legs swung over the edge of the bed, each word rising more memories. The balance of old and new memories swam, maybe my brain found a way to cope with the stabbing pain. My eyes watered, but steadied. After a moment, my feet coaxed down, touching the cold floor. My knees collapsed in an instant, my arms not fast enough to grab me. My ribs ached from the landing, a fresh stream of memories. This happened before, but panic blinded me then. My jaw tightened, arms shoving me up to my knees. It took 5 attempts to stand, clinging to the bed. The seconds ticked by, my body quivering. This felt right but why did my body not react the way it should?
Something sat in the corner, something that didn't look familiar. My brow furrowed, a curiosity winning over my common sense. My hands tightened on the bed, eyes squeezed shut as more memories rose; times of when curiosity won, of when good and bad things happened. The pain passed, muted as it slid back to pounce later. My eyes opened, finding the strange box with the power cable connected. Power raised more memories; power cuts, an AI cutting power, a Saboteur in our system- Pain floored me, leaving me wheezing on the floor. Saboteurs… anger, fear, pain, migraines, stress, more anger. Slurping blood and pain beyond words, promises of death and failing tech, twisted words and dying senses, kill at all costs and people twisted against you, oil slipping from pores, a comforting hug and a whisper of 'I won't let anything hurt you'. A pained voice straining 'I'll never abandon you again', blood pooling, rain smashing, twisting in space, circuitry in my eyes- STOP!
The muted pain roared to full agony once more. My body trembled on the floor, rocking with each microsecond image. The pain was enough to kill, my brain on the brink of self-destructing. Only something fighting to dull the pain saved me, the clear liquid in the bag, maybe? My hand gripped the floor, teeth clenched so tight they threatened to crack. Every nerve ached, begging for an end, begging for the darkness. But something rose above that, a desire, a will, a stubbornness. My eyes pried open, straining through the blinding headache, through the tears swelling and dripping. Something was wrong with me, something was wrong, what was wrong?! My arms heaved me onto shaken knees, crawling along the hard ground until my knees ached. A metal stick grabbed my attention. A new river of memories; limping, needed help, old and decrepit. My hands grasped the metal, using it to push myself onto trembling legs. It clicked every time it struck the floor, but it helped me limp to the original cause of my fire; the strange box in the corner. My hand grabbed the top of the box, a towel draped over it. It froze my hand, cold to touch. My legs shambled into a stable position, the towel easing back from what lay below. The frosted screen masked what lay behind but a bloodied face poked through. Mine.
The largest surge yet took me, hands flying to my head as the scream died in my throat, tumbling to the ground. My body became fire, molten metal seizing every muscle, every cell; red hair whipping in the wind, the faces of millions of people, The Council, lilac eyes burning in anger, fussing with my hair, a bruised remnant hidden beneath an ice pack, Dellion, a copper talon brushing tears from my cheeks. Thousands more joined it, billions more. Faces of people from before rose but with more context, more memories. It took everything to move away from them, to stop the new pain until this one stopped. It took forever to stop, but one thing kept echoing in the background, keeping me sane. Shaik. Shaik, Shaik, Shaik. Faces rose; mine, a blood male- no, two blond males, a red haired women with angular features, a blond devil causing me grief. Shaik, Shaik, Shaik… I… I was Shaik. That was me. No, no not really. People called me that but… Dellion… Dell… Dell… Dellion… Endellion… Endellion Shaik. My eyes popped open, gasping for air, that was who I was. That was me. The cold floor pressed against my temple, cooling the thumping headache.
Why was I in a box… how could I be in a box if I was here? Confusion reigned, my muddled brain couldn't make sense of it. Had to find… someone to help me, something was wrong with me but what? My hands grasped the stick once more, shoving myself onto my aching legs. A door pulled my attention. Help, have to find help. More memories came through, but only a trickle. Not enough to floor me. My hand reached out, trembling as it touched the red light, it blinked green, parting with a whoosh. A hall opened, a hall so familiar my body turned without thinking, my back to the elevator. My hand found the wall, wincing as the memories rose like a hammer. The hall was dark, quiet and abandoned. My hand trailed along the wall, the stick complimenting my staggering steps down. The headache swelled, making my head feel a thousand times bigger than it was. A door came up, forcing me to follow the wall around a bend to pass through it, then back down the wall beside the door to push onwards. This one was longer, computer systems idle in the rooms beyond. Trickles of memories, of chaos, fear, stress, screaming orders and more bit me, but my legs struggled on through the next door. Through the half glass walls, a large room beaconed, screens on the second floor lighting the room in starlight and flood lights. Pain gripped me, hurling me to the floor; swinging on the chair, clinging on for dear life, activity and noise, falling asleep, people coming and going, giving orders, the sights from above, a turning rotary easing my fears. Only a handful of what rose I could name, everything else blurring by too quickly to see. So many memories, too many to count or guess. It all flooded back, all at once. When my eyes stopped watering and the pain ebbed, the stick lay out of reach of my curled up form.
Air, I needed air. I needed air and help. Was that what was pulling me? My hand grabbed the pole once more, using the wall to shove me back up. For my mind's sake, going into the room with the screens sounded like a horrible idea. The corridor curled around it though, giving me an escape. Further up, another door on the left side. As it approached, more memories filtered through, slower as each agonising step shoved me closer. This looked familiar, the memories of hissing and decontamination ringing in my ears. This… I knew this… Done this a million times. The door before parted, a cold air crashing into me.
A ramp curled down to the rough ground, the wind whipping past my ears until they whistled. Light engulfed the area, massive lights beaming down from on high. This… This didn't look familiar. My feet shambled forward, the cold metal freezing my bare feet. At the bottom, dirt curled between my toes, dust sliding past my ankles. No one was around, but pops hung in the air. Gunfire? Old and new memories rose, threatening to pin me to the ground. Only the stick held me up long enough to shamble forward. The smell of burnt ezzo hung in the air like poison, spent fuel mingled in just for fun. A rough path cut through a tangle of wreckage and twisted metal, tarps thrown over metal poles as if last minute. The cold wind froze my skin, but something tugged harder, pulling me closer and closer. Not a soul, but the pops in the air crackled louder and louder. A mound reared, my feet struggling over the sharp terrain. Why wasn't I wearing shoes? …Why did I only think of that now? My head shook, reaching the top.
My eyes tracked to the most lit area, a wide open wasteland with a huge dark metal beast chained to the ground. Before the memories could seize me, a shattering roar trembled air and ground. Pain whipped through me, earlier memories of pain mingled in for good measure. Saboteurs and Reapers, pain and indoctrination, Nyryntha, chasing, running, fear, losing the war, RIT, pain and nausea. Nyryntha was here, she was going to get me, try to kill me… but why was she chained to the ground, where were we and… why wasn't my head exploding? The confusion only mounted. When my eyes opened, the hard ground was closer, knees collapsed from the shock. For once, the pain didn't throw me face first to the ground. My eyes lifted, staring at the machine as it wriggled. Something was wrong… why wasn't she mocking me, exploding my head, threatening to end it all? Where was her voice?
"MUUUUUUUM!" the voice screeched, echoing up from the wasteland. Mum… why did-; blond devil, smoking ruin, AI, prankster, stealing my chair, need to catch up with teachers, child support, soft snoring in the night, squeal of delight and fear, tumbling from the sofa. No, no, what was all of this? Why did- My eyes force open through the pain, voices raising all around me. A blond boy sprinted towards me, decked in purple armour and yellow markings. Beside him, a gleaming mech shimmered, a flood of other people chasing and overtaking him. A tall copper turian -; comforting words, cocky as shit, blood soaking every part, tender touches, anger and frustration, holding my weeping, worthless ass. A dark toned salarian with the white face-; the bang of a pistol, kicking my ass, dragging me out of trouble, the burn of salarian brandy, bleary memories of drunken nights. A limping biotic blue drell-; pranks and annoyance, despair and fear, walking through chaos with flat expressions, laughter when every part wanted to cry, hurling a turian into a tree. A blond human male, bigger than the first-; the worst of the floods drowned me. Anger and betrayal but a strong grip and a promise of redemption, gunfire and danger, joy and amazement, guilt storming my every nerve, fear, his body between me and the enemy.
All of this, all of this and more pulled me to the ground, my mind on the brink of blacking out. The cold ground froze my forehead. In seconds hands grabbed me, voices ringing nonsense. A thousand words; Dell, Delly, why, ok, inside. That and more, but it was all my burning mind could track. One voice shrilled over the rest, the pain reaching new heights. The cold wind stopped, the warmth from crowded bodies crushing the air in my lungs. Angry shouts resounded overhead, the sounds of clanking armour and snarls. The shrilling voice, right in front of me, was the worst, bile swimming from the pain. Stubbornness pulled an eyelid apart, the small, blond human crouched centimetres from my face. Too loud… everything was too loud. Too many memories, too many external senses. Everything hurt. How to make it stop, what would it take to make it stop?! Instinct prodded, asking to take the reins. It could have it, whatever it took to make it stop. In a heartbeat a hand rose, pressing my fingers to the boy's lips. All noise stopped, the bodies around me freezing. The boy stared at me with wide eyes, tears threatening to spill, and his hands held my wrist in a death grip. What… why was he… why did I feel so terrible, what could I say to make him better?
"Not so loud," the words slipped from my lips, voice low and achy. The boy trembled. How to make sure he doesn't cry, how to save him from the sting of my words? "Mama's head hurts," The trembling worsened, tears spilling free. His eyes squeezed shut, quiet sobs escaping as he dragged my hand closer. What… why didn't that work? It felt right why didn't it- An arm curled under my out-stretched arm, taking hold of my shoulder. My eyes followed the arm, dark blue eyes straining under the mop of blond and grey hair. A glimmer of a blue glow hung in the pupils.
"Delly, what… what do you remember? Do you remember… anything?" he asked, words coming in short rasps. A frown formed, furrowing as instinct led the way. A headache bloomed, but it wasn't painful, not a memory flood. Not yet anyway. My mouth opened, an initial bubble of anger rising but it stopped, a wash of relief and humbleness cooling the flames. My eyes trailed down, to the armour around his arm. With one hand captured by the boy… boy… n…name, his name was… G… Gid…on. Gido- no, Gideon – my head shook, my other arm twitching up to grab a piece of armour on his arm. The man stopped breathing. Something was missing… what was missing? A memory rose, one that bugged me and fluttered in my gut.
"It was too long…" the words mumbled. A shuddering breath escaped the human, his name on the tip of my tongue. "Did I… did I ever shorten it?" I asked.
"Shorten… what?" the man asked.
"The… The jacket…" I said, confused. Jacket… what-; stabbing pains and a growing bubble of annoyance, the whiz of a sewing machine, 4 attempts, no, 7 attempts. Grey, blue and white. The man's eyes widened, the tiny glow vanished from his eyes. He rushed to his feet, jolting me awake. He covered his mouth with his hands, walked three paces away and collapsed on his knees, pressing his forehead into the dirt.
"Julian?" A distorted voice rang… no, not distorted. Flanged… a turian? The man's shoulders rattled, the sound of weak sobs breaking free. Julian… that was his name! Julian… Shaik? My… my brother… another memory seized me, new and painful. Dark and afraid, the buzz of bugs around us, aliens crowded close, Julian tumbling on the ground.
"It worked," his whimpered words escaped. "She remembers…"
"Are you ok?" the salarian asked, name a whisper on the wind.
"Never been better," Julian wept.
"We need to get Dell inside, she'll freeze out here in that gown," the turian said, his hands easing me off the ground before he hoisted us off the ground. Gideon made a sound in his throat, distressed as he scrambled his to his feet, reaching my hand. My heart wrenched my hand in his direction as instinct took over. The turian paused, waiting for the boy to grapple it once more before carrying me away.
This… felt right. My eyes closed, feeling the sway as he moved. My heart warmed and bloomed, memories drowning me in agony, but I didn't care. The memories were happy – most of the time – of a protective friend, a man squirming his way into my bed, of the time we spent together, time after time of rescues and watching each other's backs. A small smile lifted my lips, flopping my head against the armour around his chest. This felt normal, even if part of me wanted to hide in embarrassment. The sound of feet resounded around me, my hand crushed in Gideon's hands. Then the cold wind vanished, lights blinking overhead. The halls of the Starquake surrounded me, the feet echoing on the metal floors. Val… Val was his name. Why did it take so long to remember the name of my boyfriend… boyfriend? Yes, he was, even though he annoyed me a lot. A pleased grin spread, warmth chasing the last of the cold from my bones.
"And why are you grinning, young lady?" Val asked, lowering me onto the med bay bed once more.
"Just… remembering how much of a pain in the ass you are," I said, staring up at the ceiling. Val laughed, relief sagging his shoulders. He leaned on the edge of the bed, a smirk on his face even as his eyes glistened.
"Oh you don't know the half of it, little lady," he said. He turned his head over his shoulder. "Mat'al, get Saere,"
"Roger," the salarian said. Mat'al… Mat'al fucking Delern and his damn pistol. It was coming back now.
"What… what do you remember, mum?" Gideon asked, voice trembling. My hand rose, escaping his death grip to brush his hair out of his eyes.
"It's… muddy," I said, frowning at the word. My eyes closed, trying to recall something. A billion things rose at once, making me groan.
"Her memories may not have settled yet," Val said as the door opened. The drell led Julian inside, the man heaving large breaths to control his swelling emotions. My head shook, back straining to pull me up again. "Dell, Dell, just lie down. A lot has happened,"
"I gotta go," I said. My hands ran through my hair, moaning as another headache rocked.
"Go where?" Val asked. My mouth opened, pausing when nothing formed. My mouth narrowed to a frown.
"I… don't know. Just… away. Are we moving? We should be moving," I said, quivering.
"She must still think she's on the run from Nyryntha," the drell said.
"is this what Sitoln mentioned?" Val asked. Sitoln? Why did-; musky vegetation, targeting Gideon, anger, pain and betrayal. Rage burned my blood hotter than any pain. My eyes blinked open, noticing people's hands gripped me, holding me still. A quick scan showed I was half out the bed, reaching towards the door. My eyes found Julian as he pulled me back onto the bed, hand pressing my shoulder into the bed.
"Delly, stay here," he said. My eyes blinked, clearing the haze from my vision.
"I… didn't…" I said, more confused than ever. "Is he here?" I asked, the question rising before anything could stifle it.
"No, he isn't. You can relax," he said, his eyes rising to Val on my other side. "We'll let Delly rest and sync the fleet up. She can push the button,"
"You haven't destroyed Nyryntha so Dell could do it?" Val said, mandibles flaring. "That's the most irresponsible thing I've heard from your mouth! … But fuck me, I'd do the same," Julian smirked, a pleased grin as Gideon shoved him out the way, scowling at his uncle.
"You're… feeling ok though, right?" Gideon asked, half climbing on the bed to get a clear look at me.
"I'm… sore, confused, angsty… I don't know why…" I mumbled, a fresh set of memories bubbling up. A checklist came forth from the gloom, so natural my mind didn't question it. A frown pinned to my face, staring at Gideon. He shuffled. "Have you done your homework?" His face blanched.
"Uh… well I uh… had things… to do?" he stammered. My brows snapped down, the boy leaping from the bed in a heartbeat.
"Gideon Shaik! Dammit, I've already got the Council riding my ass because you hijacked the ship! Just because there's a war inbound doesn't mean you get to skip out on your work! Now get moving!" I snapped.
"B-But-" Gideon said, sweating under my anger. Julian burst into laughter, relief sagging every muscle as Val rested a hand over his chest.
"Dammit, where's Mat'al? I need to borrow his damn pistol!" I snarled. Gideon squealed, tearing from the room in a heartbeat. A second passed before a grin rose on my lips. "Never fails…"
"Dell, go easy on him. You've not got the full picture just now," Val said, chuckling in relief.
"And why did Gideon just tear out of med bay?" Mat'al asked, crossing the threshold with the medical team behind him.
"Dell yelled at him to go do his homework," Val chuckled. Mat'al paused, turning the words before he laughed, strain easing from his face. Saere scrambled to my side, omni-tool flashing on her arm. "She's back, muddled but she's back,"
"She's…" Saere said, voice failing. Her shoulders slumped. "I'll run through her biometrics,"
"Do that, I'll get the fleet ready. We'll be gone in a few hours," Julian said, his tone hardening. My head swam, the buzz of people around me surfacing my earlier discomfort.
The hours ticked by, my mind swapping topics a million miles a second. Someone put a camera feed beside the bed to give me something to stare at as dawn broke. All the while, my confusion swelled and ebbed, memories fighting with each other for dominance. No one wanted to push me too far, they wanted me to get a proper sleep before doing anything. They were afraid of frying my brain or something, but once they were happy that would not happen they promised to tell me everything. Familiar faces crossed my path, coming to visit and say hi. Memories burned and ached, my brain whimpering for mercy. Julian disappeared hours before, but he promised he would come back. Part of me fought, knowing he would come back but the other half said he'd abandon me again. What was right, what was true? Why was everything so… disjointed? And no one even mentioned the other… me lying in the box in the corner. Just as the sun poked over the horizon, Julian strode back into the med bay, his hair brushed… why did I notice that now? With care, he coaxed me into a sitting position, pulling a purple jacket on – my jacket – and pulled down the sleeves rolled halfway up the upper arms.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, zipping up my jacket to keep me warm in the early hours of dawn.
"The… same, I think," I said, frowning at the words. Julian breathed, a mighty breath as he pulled out his jacket; the one I made him, the one that took to many hours and tears to make. He slipped it over me, giving me an extra layer. He knew I hated the cold… how did he remember all of this stuff? Julian pulled me into his arms, carrying me down the hall to the elevator. "What's going on?"
"We're going to destroy Nyryntha, once and for all. She'll never bother you again," he said, promise in his voice. A slow frown formed.
"Kill… how?" I asked. Julian grinned.
"And ruin the surprise?" he asked. He laughed at my glare as the elevator doors opened.
More memories rushed to greet me; damn slow elevator, packed with people, servers to throw in the sun. The list continued down in the cargo hold, my hands burrowing through my hair to find salvation. Julian paused, afraid to advance much further until my head shook and the pain stopped. He eased forward, watching his face and pushed into the shuttle deck. A shuttle hovered, ready for take-off when he jumped inside. More memories held me; bumping through the weather, a shuttle flying over the ship, the doors crinkling under a shotgun. Inside Gideon, Val, Mat'al, Indira – her name surfacing – and the red faced quarian waited. What was his name? The memories pestered me earlier but… Moreh? No, no, that was his ship's name. My head hurt too much to think. Only when someone called his name did it spring to mind, releasing a fresh flush of pain. Julian's grip tightened, lowering me down onto a chair as the shuttle sway worsened. Julian straightened, keeping himself between the door and me. The door opened minutes later, the wind whistling past. Julian turned around, a grin on his face. Nyryntha lay sprawled out before me, her legs wrecked and holes dotting her hull. It should hurt… my head should hurt, why didn't it hurt? We stayed a safe distance away, the shuttle always on the move. Nyryntha roared, spotting me in the shuttle.
"YOU WILL NOT LIVE LONG, SHELL," she hissed, her voice booming. "HARBINGER WILL SEE TO YOUR DOWNFALL," My mouth opened, to spit venom at the cur below. It closed seconds later. What could I say to her, her final words before she perished?
"Oh fuck up," I said. Nothing more needed said. Nyryntha hissed, squirming on the ground. Julian passed me a pale gun. A Paladin pistol- My eyes squeezed shut, a large wave of memories wrapping me in pain. My fingers wrapped around the handle, the familiar weight poking through the pain, easing my suffering. My gun?
"The bullet has a special tracker synced up to the whole fleet. She gets wrecked today," Julian said.
Nyryntha… her time was here; her time to die and leave me in peace. My jaw tightened, a bubble of anger stirring deep inside. The pistol straightened, my arms quivering. My body remembered what to do, or instinct or something. Julian held my hand, keeping it steady as the beast lined up in the sight. One slow breath eased the quivering enough to keep everything straight. A bullet flew, smashing into the black metal hull. The radio in the shuttle sprung to life, the horizon sparkling as ships gleamed in the sunlight. The Starquake lined up the main gun. A wave of rounds filled the sky, from air and space. The robotic cries rang loud, the bombardment masking the beast from view with a dust cloud. My hand covered my eyes as the blinding light showered the Reaper. The seconds passed, the dust settled. The Reaper lay in 5 pieces, the hull shattered and broken. Julian grinned beside me, securing the door of the shuttle. Was it over? Was she dead? But she would still be in my head, right? She must be… But she didn't haunt me. My hand held my forehead. What was going on?
"Salvage what you can and destroy the site. We're leaving before more Saboteurs come," Julian ordered.
"Aye, aye, Admiral," Val said, eyes floating in my direction as the shuttle slid back inside the waiting Starquake, ready to burst back to the stars aga- oh fuck, not again! Pain moans slipped free as the pain erupted again.
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