Friendly Neighborhood Nine-Tails
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto.
Matsukaze Tenma- Thanks! To you as well.
matthewrister- Right now
booklover41- Thanks.
Guest- Probably at some point, assuming he has them pre-timeskip.
The Sith'ari- Yo amke a very good point. XP
Guest- No, only one, but thanks forpointing that out.
Mangahero18-True, not surewhy more don't try them.
Neo Kage Bunshin- Very true.
detrametal- Very good question.
dpdj1- Thanks. Though, its moreof aconversion than a fusion.
retreaver- You'd think there'd be more of these.
jonalefm- Good to hear.
wjohncraig07- Thank you for the link!
Althalus57- Yep, Kakashi is a bit of a troll here, as he should be. As for the rest of the village and the elders, you'll have to wait another day for that.
Guest- Not really. Him notbeing able totransform is half the humor.
JAIMOL- More has arrived!
UnsanMusho- We'll see. XP
Regular speak
Thoughts and Flashbacks
Demonic or Animalistic Speak
Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts
Beta: Dragon_Wizard91
AN Naruto is the size of Split-Kurama, aka the size of the other bijuu.
They were ninja; rank and overall experience regardless, they still understood the fact that their lives were filled with strangeness. From bending the elements to warping the mind to altering the body in the most bizarre ways, they were not easily stunned into silence. They were adaptable, they were reactive, they were ninja!
Yet, seeing one Kakashi Hatake riding on the head of a golden version of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, eye smiling down at them and asking if they need a lift?
That was a bit too much for anyone.
"...Kakashi-Sensei?" Rock Lee called out in surprise, seeing his sensei's rival riding on top of the Bijuu.
"Yo," Kakashi greeted with a peace sign and an eye smile.
"...Gai-Sensei is going to be most impressed if your Flames of Youth tamed such a beast!" Lee announced, still too shocked to say much else.
Gaara remained silent, eyes wide and wondering why Shukaku had suddenly gone so quiet.
The behemoth Kitsune glared with a tick mark, making Konoha's Miniature Green Beast gulp, "He didn't tame anything, Bushy Brow!" Naruto barked in annoyance.
Said bark made Lee struggle to remain standing as the wind whipped by him. Kakashi just looked a bit sheepish at the scene.
"...Naruto Uzumaki?" Gaara asked slowly.
"HUUUUUUH?" Lee gaped in shock, his jaw dropping with comically wide eyes.
"Gaara," Naruto greeted, eyeing the red head for a moment, "Nice new look, it suits you," He commented idly.
Gaara legitimately didn't know how to respond to that. What do you say to a Bijuu complimenting your wardrobe? "Umm...Thank you?" He tried, looking to Kakashi with a raised eyebrow, who just eye-smiled back.
Gaara was sure the cyclops had planned this on some level.
Lee shook himself out of shock as he looked to Naruto in confusion, "Naruto, you...you have been a giant fox of chakra this entire time?!" He yelled in disbelief.
Naruto deadpanned at that, "Yes, Lee, I was like this the whole time. I was tempted to release a few tails when you sent me spinning during our first meeting," He answered sarcastically.
"Now now, play nice with us fragile Ningen, Kyuubi-Sama," Kakashi requested jokingly.
"YOSH!" Lee cheered, to even Naruto's confusion, "Your Flames of Youth must truly burn brightly! To bind your enormous power, in a quest to find a worthy rival and to live among the mortals, all the while retraining your power! Truly inspiring!" He yelled with fire in his eyes, as if inspired.
Absolute silence followed.
"...Bushy Brow, that was a joke," Naruto informed as Lee blinked in confusion, "I got...all of this just now. Yesterday, taxonomy would have said I was human."
"Ohhh, apologies, Naruto! I must have misread your tone," Lee said with a grin, letting loose a loud but good natured laugh as everyone sweat-dropped.
"Am I really THAT bad at sarcasm or is it just not coming out right with this mouth?" Naruto muttered, scrunching his eyebrows.
"No, it's just Lee," Kakashi informed with a whisper, "So, you two need a lift?" Kakashi asked, pointing his thumb towards Naruto's back, "We could use a couple of extra hands in case Sasuke wakes up and tries to bolt again."
"That and I might crush him next time if I'm not careful," Naruto added in, tapping one of his fingers to the ground for effect and causing a minor tremor.
"...Lee already exerted himself more than he probably should have and I would wager you might outpace my sand with little issue," Gaara answered as he composed himself, using a sand cloud to levitate them up onto the fox's back. There they found Sasuke Uchiha, bound in chakra suppressing tags, ropes and plastic handcuffs for good measure.
"You better not get sand in my ears...," Naruto grumbled halfheartedly as he raised his head back up, eyeing the nearby area of the bone forest, "Geeze, Gaara, did you let Shukaku out to eat a summon boss?"
"Hmmm?" Gaara asked, looking back at the battlefield, realizing it looked like a boneyard to the uninformed, "Our enemy could grow and manipulate his own bones," Gaara informed, not sure if Naruto was already aware of this or not.
"Did he summon or create a giant skeleton?" Naruto asked bluntly.
"No, just a bone forest," Gaara answered, not fazed by the question.
"What a waste," Naruto grumbled as he started walking again, towering over the trees that he leveled with every footstep, "I'm just going to assume that Shikamaru is, or was at the very least, where those leveled trees are," He stated, seeing the anomaly in the distance, 'Damn. One perk of this body, I got one hell of a view whenever I stand up,' He mentally mused, enjoying his far seeing gaze, enhanced by his size and sharper senses.
"That'd be a safe bet," Kakashi agreed, 'Well, that went well. If what Naruto told me is right, Choji and Neji were probably taken back to the village already, since they broke off first. Shikamaru and Kiba might still be there, with or without the medics being there, but they might already be running from the giant Nine-Tailed Fox,' Kakashi mused to himself.
Meanwhile
"Holyshit holyshit holyshit!" Temari whispered in terror as she and Shikamaru ran and slid through an opening under a pile of trees, "No one said anything about Bijuu!" She snapped to the Nara, feeling the vibrations in the ground get louder. She had seen what the One Tailed Tanuki could do; she had no desire to see what the Nine-Tailed Fox could do!
"News to me too! I thought the Kyuubi was dead!" Shikamaru retorted, sweat gathering on his forehead.
"What!? You can't kill a-" Temari started, only for Shikamaru to cover her mouth quickly and point ahead of them, above from their laying position.
There, bottom half pinned under the trees and smirking back at them, was Tayuya of the North Gate, "Hello, Motherfuckers," She greeted, a small trail of blood leaking from her mouth, as they stared at her in horror, "I'm going to fucking die here, shitheads…there's damn near next to no chance of avoiding that. Still, I think I'd rather enjoy taking you cunts to hell with me," She said as they went wide eyed, too far away to grab her and with too little room to attack her, not to mention the shaking getting worse and worse, "HEY FURBALL! COME HERE, I GOT A SNACK FOR YOU! A LEAF-SAND BANANA SPLIT! DON'T WORRY; YOU CAN HAVE ME AS THE FUCKING CHERRY ON TOP!" She yelled up to the sky with a vicious grin.
"...Wow, the ladies really do go for the cute and fluffy stuff- one is already offering their virginity to you," A voice said from right above the tree logs.
"Wait...I know that voice," Shikamaru mused, Temari nodding in confusion.
"What the- Oh you got to be shitting me!" Tayuya growled in frustration, "Good news, Shitbrains- it's your friends. Now get out of here so I can gag on my own tongue in peace," She informed with a scowl.
The two blinked, looking to each other before slowly crawling back out.
They nearly shat their pants as they peeked out and saw the giant nose and teeth hovering just a dozen feet above them.
"Oh gods..." One, or both, of them squeaked.
"You two have fun in there?" Kakashi asked with an eye smile, appearing behind them as they jumped in alarm, Temari about to strike with her fan.
"K-Kakashi!?" Shikamaru shouted in surprise.
"According to my birth certificate, yes," Kakashi answered with a chuckle.
"Don't sneak up-Euh!?" Temari yelled, jumping as the titanic Kitsune snorted and blew hot air on her. She shivered as she stared up into those blue eyes, that held some kind of evil intent in them as her brother sat on its forehead- wait what?! "Gaara?" She called up in surprise, seeing the red head standing up there with a curious expression on his face. Than he did the strangest thing ever…of all time.
"...Shikamaru and Temari, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G," He sang off in a monotone, leaving Temari gaping as her mind shut down, "...I fail to see what this has to do with being a younger sibling, Naruto," Gaara commented in confusion.
"Gaara, Gaara, Gaara. While I may not have a family, I have observed many in envy. And siblings, older and younger, always take time out of their days to embarrass their siblings every now and again," Naruto said sagely with an amused yet tired smirk.
"Wait..." Temari said slowly.
"...Did he just say...?" Shikamaru continued.
"...Naruto?" They both finished as they looked at the golden mountain before looking back down to an imaginary outline of Naruto. They looked back and forth several times before they came to the same conclusion, "WHAAAAA-?!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Naruto bellowed, covering his ears as he jerked upwards.
"Yeah, his ears are a bit sensitive at the moment," Kakashi informed, wiggling a finger in his own while Temari and Shikamaru swayed from the onslaught their ears just endured.
"Naruto, please do not jerk around so much! You almost sent Sasuke flying into the horizon!" Lee requested, one arm grabbing the thick fur and the other holding onto one of the Uchiha's bonds.
"...Hey, Cyclops?" Tayuya called with a blank expression, eyebrow raised, and still trapped beneath the logs, "Am I hallucinating here? Is the blood loss getting to me?" She asked curiously.
"No, no. This is real," Kakashi assured with an eye smile.
"Then all you leaf ninjas are batshit crazy," Tayuya said bluntly.
"Says the woman working as a lapdog for the mad scientist born and raised in the Leaf," Naruto countered with a smirk.
"Wasn't on his damn resume," Tayuya muttered with an eye roll.
"...What rock did Orochimaru find you under that you didn't know that?" Kakashi asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't you mean what LOG he found her under?" Naruto corrected with a smirk.
"Screw you, furball!" Tayuya yelled with a growl.
"With what?" Naruto retorted with a head tilt, "No, seriously, with WHAT?"
"Your fucking over fluffed tails you piss-stained fox!" Tayuya rebutted.
"That's just some weird version of masturbation," Naruto countered with a raised eyebrow, suppressing a smirk.
"No need to insult someone on their deathbeds, Naruto. That's just cruel," Kakashi mock scolded.
"This is getting weird," Temari noted with a sweat-drop.
"...So that's how it is, huh?" Shikamaru asked calmly after a moment, getting everyone's attention. Naruto looked at him with a scowl, knowing that Shikamaru was, while a friend, too smart at times, "I knew you were something special, Naruto. Troublesome, extra troublesome, but special. Just wasn't expecting it to be this big," He continued, scratching his head with a sigh.
"...Just get your pineapple head on my back before I leave you two behind," Naruto grumbled with a glare, holding out a palm for them as Kakashi shunshined back unto his head, "Kakashi, get back down there," Naruto said bluntly as he lifted the two intellectuals up far enough to jump the rest on their own.
"Huh? How come?" Kakashi asked curiously.
"Cause we're not leaving her," Naruto answered bluntly.
"What? Why the hell would we save her?" Temari asked with a scowl, Shikamaru raising an eyebrow.
"Eh? What about me?" Tayuya called up, straining her ears to hear anyone besides the overgrown fox.
"Naruto, she's an enemy ninja," Shikamaru pointed out.
Naruto let out a long and annoyed sigh, one of his tails snapping in aggravation, "Okay, the nice answer is because I don't want to leave a fellow ninja in a state where she's likely going to be either eaten alive by wild animals or captured by anyone else that might have been drawn by all the commotion, BUT if you want a "Pragmatic" answer, it's because she fucking works for Orochimaru and Can Give Us Info After We Save Her!" Naruto answered, his voice getting louder with his frustration, "Or did I dream up that class lesson that Shinobi use capture and interrogation!?"
There was a long, long silence after that before Kakashi looked over his shoulder, eye smiling at the passengers, "Anyone else want to argue with my adorable and fluffy student?" He asked cheerfully.
"You're his sensei! Control him!" Temari whispered with a glare.
"A, he can hear you. B, I'm not stupid enough to try. C, even if I was, the answer is still hell no. And D, he's right," Kakashi listed off effortlessly.
"Any more stupid comments or questions from the supposed geniuses?" Naruto asked dryly, Temari gulping a bit but remaining silent, "No? Good. Sensei, hurry up so I can go home."
"I believe Naruto's Flames of Youth are being replaced with Flames of Annoyance," Lee commented to himself.
"You know, if you fuckers are just going to freaking torture me, feel free to just eat my ass," Tayuya said flatly.
"Sensei, one more sex joke and I'll never let you read Icha Icha in peace. Ever," Naruto warned, making the man pause, looking up at the blond as if debating if the Bijuu could actually succeed in such an endeavor.
"...Think you can lend a paw here?" Kakashi requested, motioning to the logs.
Naruto gave an enormous eye roll at that, "Lazy pervert," He muttered, starting to move aside the, to him, tiny bits of wood while trying not to further crush the red head.
"...This is one of the weirdest days I've ever had," Temari commented with a sigh as she sank down onto the soft, golden fur.
"Temari?" Gaara said, causing her to look up at him curiously, "What did Naruto mean by a 'weird version' of masturbation?" He asked with a head tilt.
There was an awkward silence…which was quickly and violently broken by the new bijuu.
"Oh HELL no! Gaara, you are NOT getting an advanced Birds and Bees lesson on my back!" Naruto snapped, glaring over his shoulder at his passengers, making them all shiver under the gaze of the giant blue orbs.
"It's bad enough you're using a goddamn Bijuu as a taxi service, leave the fucker some dignity," Tayuya commented, a clone of Kakashi holding her bridal style as the original jumped back on Naruto's head.
"Now you're on his side?" Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow.
The crippled Sound Kunoichi shrugged, "I'm fucked royally and screwed just as epically no matter what I do. I figure I might as well as enjoy...whatever is going on here," Tayuya said with a shrug as Kakashi's clone brought her up onto Naruto's back, staying around to keep an eye on her.
"...So, what was that about you and Gaara's sister doing the split, Shikamaru?" Naruto asked with a dry smirk as they both face palmed.
"...I feel like I'm not getting a reference," Gaara commented blankly.
Kakashi and his clone just chuckled to themselves, "Well, this just keeps getting more interesting, eh, Naruto?" He asked as the fox trotted.
"Interesting...right, exactly the word for it," Naruto muttered with a small smile.
Meanwhile
Konoha wasn't the only one reacting to the birth of the New Kyuubi. No, most of the continent knew something was up by now. Perhaps few more so than a single red headed kunoichi in the Grass Village. Being a sensor, Karin had sensed something going on in the east, something powerful but distant. But the moment the full power of the Kyuubi had been unleashed, the instant that pillar of vile chakra formed...
She collapsed to her knees, retching as her stomach emptied its continents onto the ground. It was too powerful, too sinister and overwhelming for her to even cope with. As if it was going to burn away her soul. Her entire body went numb as she mentally stared at it, unable to look away...She didn't even realize her nose started to bleed from the stress it caused her, or that her arms clawed into her side...
Then, all at once, there was a light in the darkness, a gentle warmth amongst the burning hatred. It was small at first, but quickly grew as the hatred weakened, as if cleansing or feasting on the hatred of that chakra to add to its own. With time, the flicker of light became a beacon, then an fire, until it was like she was staring into the sun itself. Comforting and life-giving, but completely overwhelming all the same.
"...Where am I?" She asked, blinking herself back to consciousness, finding herself in a hospital bed.
"You gave us quite a scare there, Karin," A female voice noted.
Karin's head shot up and stared at the woman next to the door, "Kasukabe!" She greeted in surprise. While Karin wasn't exactly happy with the situation she inherited from her mother, she did have some allies among the Grass, if not outright friends. This petit, short haired brunette with brown eyes was certainly one of them.
"The Kusa-Gensui was a bit worried when one of our most gifted sensors fainted in the middle of the street," The Chunin commented idly as she sat on the bed, a white cat with two different colored ears- one brown and the other grey- sitting on her lap.
Karin rolled her eye at that title. Since they weren't one of the major villages, their leader wasn't officially recognized as a 'kage' by the rest of the world. So, the person running a lesser village either gave the middle finger and took the title anyway or, more normally, took up a different title. The Kusa-Gensui, or Grass General, was theirs.
"Karin. What happened?" Yu Kasukabe asked with a serious expression as she petted her cat.
"...I don't know," Karin answered absently, mostly honest, "I felt this...chakra isn't even the word for it. It was like looking into the heart of hatred itself. But the raw power it excluded nearly crushed my mind," She answered softly, clenching the bed sheet.
"Calico sensed it too," Yu answered, her cat meowing his agreement, "He said it was like being the mouse for once, only against a sabertooth," She quipped lightly, her feline friend glaring at her jab.
"...Kasukabe, what DID happen?" Karin asked curiously, cautiously.
The Chunin shook her head, "We're still verifying it, with scouts heading to the border, but-" She paused, looking at Karin with a steely glance, "-we think the Kyuubi returned, at the border of the Land of Fire no less," She answered with a scowl.
Karin gapped openly at that, her eyes dilated as she processed that, "...How far?" She asked numbly.
"The Valley of the End, by the looks of it," Yu answered solemnly.
It hit Karin like a ton of bricks, 'That's...That's still two whole countries away from here, nearly three! All that distance and it was still that intense?!' She thought in disbelief. She had known about the Bijuu, everyone did, but she never imagined just how outclassed the average ninja was to one of them, let alone the strongest of them.
"Karin," Kasukabe spoke strongly, putting a hand on Karin's shoulder, snapping her out of her trance, "I know you've been through a lot already, but can you tell me where the Kyuubi is now?" She asked, leaving the unspoken question in the air: Is it getting farther away or closer?
Karin would normally be a bit annoyed at that moment, but swallowed her tongue as she cautiously leaked her sensor ability back out. She was very glad she couldn't go "blind" with her sensing ability or she would have already. She blinked as she found what she was looking for, "I have good news and..." Karin trialed off unsurely.
"Bad news?" Kasukabe asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No...I don't know what to call it, but it's news," Karin answered in confusion, "It is getting further away. I'd say it's a half way to the center of Fire Country, but don't quote me on that," She answered, having trouble locking onto that mass of chakra's precise center.
"That is good. I can tell the Gensui we're not about to die," Kasukabe said with a small smirk, "And the other news?"
"...I thought I was imagining it or just feeling relief after my sensor ability shut off, but..." Karin paused, scrunching her eyebrows, "It's...different."
"What is? The Kyuubi?" Kasukabe asked with a frown.
"Yeah. It's...the hatred is gone. All the malevolence, everything is gone. Now it just feels...warm. Still massively powerful, but not burning your mind with hatred," Karin rambled a bit, "I...have no way to describe it adequately. Am I making sense at all?"
"You? Yes. What you're saying? Not really," Kasukabe answered, not sure what could make a Bijuu change the nature of its chakra.
"That thing must really not like Konoha, if its heading ba-," Karin muttered, freezing in shock.
"Karin?" Yu questioned in concern, seeing the red head sitting there with a pale expression.
"I...I think it saw me," Karin whispered fearfully, "It...looked right at me, I swear..."
Meanwhile
"Naruto? Everything okay?" Kakashi called up from the rocky river, seeing Naruto looking off to the North-West with a suspicious glare on his face, giving him a very angry look.
"Hmm, I think someone is watching me," Naruto noted idly, everyone sweat-dropping.
'Yeah, probably everyone in the elemental nation is one way or another looking in your direction,' Was the general thought shared amongst everyone.
"Anyway, Kiba and Kankuro aren't here," Kakashi said as he looked around the area again, "They must have killed their opponents and high tailed it out of here when they saw us coming," He deduced.
"Can't imagine why," Temari muttered sarcastically.
Naruto ignored that, focusing on his Sensei's words, "Opponents? Kiba was only fighting one guy," Naruto noted with a head tilt.
"Well, this other guy is either a twin or a clone, so he might have been hiding somewhere," Kakashi answered with a shrug.
"Eh, we'll get the story from them when we get back," Naruto decided with a shrug as his sensei jumped back on, "Any more stops?"
"Unless you want to go site seeing?" Kakashi suggested, holding his hands up in a shrug.
"Maybe tomorrow," Naruto answered, yawning a bit, coming off as a loud roar, "You sure Neji and Choji are back in the village?" Naruto questioned even as he continued his walking, Kakashi having leaped up back onto his back.
"With you walking around? Definitely," Kakashi answered evenly, "The medics probably rushed them back the moment they thought the old Kyuubi was back."
Naruto grunted at that, choosing to not make a comment to that but instead occupying himself with some eavesdropping.
"So...any chance in hell of you bastards letting me squeal and skip the whole torture part?" Tayuya asked in a grumble.
"Maybe, but depends on Anko's mood- she has a personal desire to squeeze every ounce of info on Orochimaru out of you," Kakashi informed idly.
"Fucking great," Tayuya muttered.
"Still, assuming you don't try to lie or leave anything else, they might be lenient since none of ours died on this mission- so far at least," Kakashi added on thoughtfully.
"Now who's being cruel?" Shikamaru muttered under his breath with a sweat-drop.
"...Naruto," Gaara called out absently, getting everyone's attention and receiving a loud hum, "The Kyuubi, the old one? Is it-?"
"He's dead," Naruto answered bluntly, no obvious show of sadness or happiness over that fact.
Gaara's eyes went wide at that statement...
"Gaara? Are you okay?" Temari asked, leaning over to place a hand on his shoulder in concern.
Gaara slowly looked to her with shocked eyes, "He's wailing," He answered numbly as Temari looked confused, "Shukaku is sobbing."
Temari looked shocked at that herself, the rest as well, openly gaping at her little brother while Kakashi narrowed his eye at that. But unseen to the others, Naruto scowled as he marched on towards home.
End of Chapter
There we go, Chapter 2. Here we have Kakashi and Naruto pranking everyone by beingcompletely and utterly casual about the "Naruto is a Kyuubi no Kitsune now" thing. Naruto, while understandably drained, is enjoying it all the same. And someone needs to teach Gaara a few things, apparently.
Anyway, Tayuya got saved, but her ultimate fate is up for debate. Who knows, maybe Naruto will eat her, lol. As for Karin, I did some research andfoundthat she was in Kusa for a while, so I had her still there when this went down- and boy did she get overloaded!
Also, Yu Kasukabe is a character from "Problem Children Are Coming From Another World, Aren't They?" He personality and ability seemed like a good thing to put in the Grass Village, a place known for its diplomacy.
Moving on, yes, the world at large is already start to catch on that something strange is going on. Some already gather that the/a Kyuubi is back, but only a few have got an idea of what happened.
Final not, I came up with the title Kusa-Gensui because the five major villages are the only ones with recognized Kages. In the filler with the Star Village, Sakura even found it surprising that the village called its leader a Kage, hinting that anything like an Amekage or Kusakage would equally be seen as odd.
Not much else to say. Hope you all enjoyed this.