I have returned, after updating several other fics. Well, it hasn't been that long, considering I updated 3 things between this chapter and last chapter. BTW, spoilers on the chapter end notes about… stuff not everybody may have read.
The grind never ends. Hope y'all are doing good.
-SpiritOfErebus.
"...I can't decide whether or not you're clinically insane, or actually serious about your fourth wall breaking hypothesis."
"I think being insane doesn't exclude being serious about a topic." Hans smirked, "But yeah. What I said is basically true. Determinism is real, and free will is a myth."
"...Again, how do you know this?"
"I think I'll just prove it to you." Hans said, smiling like a shark. "Today, there will be an event that requires our current class president to stand up and act like a class president, or else the election will be meaningless in the overall narrative."
"I somehow doubt that." Jiro said. "Maybe it's because I am aware that there are no such things as extras in real life. I think you and Bakugo could get along. He does call people extras, but not with the same reasoning as you."
"I feel insulted by the very insinuation that Bakugo and I are even remotely similar." Hans grumbled. "But you'll see."
"Is this how Yaomomo feels whenever she tries to argue with you?" Jiro sighed. "And more importantly, how did she lose to your crappy arguments about budget?"
"You'll find that ninety percent of my statements are correct." Hans said, "And the passing of time will be my ultimate vindication. Now, we should move along before other people catch wind of this rather suspicious future prediction."
Jiro acquiesced, and together, they walked back into the classroom. Momo looked at the pair suspiciously, but didn't say anything. Ojiro looked especially pumped as he took out his English notebook and prepared to study even harder than he had been.
Hans, however, just pulled out his tablet and began to tap soundlessly. His money wouldn't earn itself.
…
"Would you like some free shaved ice?" a guy wearing a heavy, blue jacket said to a crowd of journalists.
"Sure, man. You don't know how much time we've been standing outside UA. Why are you giving out this stuff for free, anyways?"
"Just… making a statement." the hooded figure said, shuffling back to the stand.
Before the journalist's eyes, a pillar of ice rose out of the sidewalk from nothing. Civilians screamed as the man in the blue hood used his quirk in public without permission.
Then, a man holding a sledgehammer stepped in, heteromorphic muscles bulging. A chunk of ice was shaved from the pillar as civilians ducked behind objects and trash cans, peeking out cautiously. News crews panicked and either started banging on UA's wall harder, or retreated further down the street. One suspicious man in a black hoodie was a little late to back away with the rest of the crowd.
"He's going to throw the ice!"
"Hide!"
The heteromorphic man raised the ice high above his head, breathed in, breathed out, with fog condensing in the air… and placed it in an ice shredder. The machine hummed to life, the plug held by a woman standing next to the stall with bright yellow hair. Sparks flickered to life and died above the woman's frazzled hair as she charged the machine.
Eventually, the ice was shredded, and a man with a small scrap of paper held out his hand. The scrap of paper, however, wriggled and writhed as it grew into a full-sized cup. The ice was dumped into the cup, along with a bit of flavoring, and held high up into the noon air by the man in the blue jacket.
"Does anybody else want some shaved ice?"
Observing from a cafe in the distance, the businessman with a sharp nose grinned.
"Let's see what you do now, heroes. What will you do against innocent shaved ice vendors with no previous criminal history that are giving out their goods for free?"
"This is Re-Destro." He muttered into his ear piece. "Send in the telekinetic street sweepers."
Doing community service with your army was a lot less stressful than planning to overthrow the government. Re-Destro sipped on his coffee and sighed, feeling some of the stress wave off of him.
If this went well, he would never need to use his quirk (which accumulated stress) to fight. How… ironic, considering the objectives of his army.
…
Hans looked out at the tower of ice outside of the building.
"Aha. My predicted catastrophe arrives." he said smugly. Jiro looked at the tower of ice as well, though with a very different expression.
Yaoyorozu looked out at the front of the school as well, before sighing.
"Aren't the teachers doing anything about this? Can we not even control villains outside of the most prestigious hero school in Japan?"
"Whatever." Hans said, shrugging and dropping his pencil, before heading to the cafeteria. "As long as they don't get in the building or whatever, UA's expensive security systems should be able to protect us."
"How could journalists possibly-"
Hans squinted his eyes, and tapped Yaoyorozu on the shoulder. "Can you pass me a pair of binoculars?"
"I don't have a pair."
"Just use your quirk. That's why I asked you." Hans said, looking at the person in the black hoodie surge back into the clearing with the journalists and camera crews.
"But if I do…" Yaoyorozu said, conflicted, "Then how are we any different from them?"
"We're hero students. We're in the gray area between civilians and heroes in that if we do something with our quirks that stops supposed evil from taking advantage of corrupt businessmen with our quirks, then it's fine. Now, I think I see somebody suspicious approaching the gate."
"But my family does run a business! WE already declared a truce, but are you insinuating that my family is-"
"Oh, sorry." Hans said, looking at Yaoyorozu's irate face. "I guess I'll just zoom in with my phone."
The person in the black hoodie suddenly looked down, as if looking at a phone or watch themselves, before disappearing back into the crowd.
"Nevermind. I guess it was too late to gather information on the suspicious hooded man pacing around UA."
"...Was there actually something suspicious?"
"Probably. I'll just go get food." Hans said, "I look malnourished enough as it is."
Turning, Hans left for the hallway. Yaoyorozu stood, looking at the crowd of people herself, before realizing that Hans was gone.
"If you are malnourished, I can recommend that lunch rush set you up with a high calorie…" her voice trailed off as she ran out into the hallway behind the diminutive student.
There was silence in the classroom.
"Like, dude, what is their relationship?" Kaminari muttered to Kirishima. "Did Andersen of all people bag one of the hottest girls in the class?"
"I don't know…" Kirishima muttered. "Andersen-san doesn't seem like the type…"
"Truly, the line between a rivalry, a friendship, and a romance is blurred and dark indeed." Tokoyami said convolutedly. "However, the next great trial in their lives may prove to be a turning point in their interactions, and where will that leave our class?"
"...I don't understand what you're saying either." Kaminari muttered.
Bakugo slapped Kaminari in the back of the head. "Shut up, you extras, and stop blocking the way to the cafeteria. Some of us have better things to do than speculate about midgets and their shitty love lifes."
…
"...What is your book about?" Yaoyorozu said, unpacking her own rather extravagant lunchbox. Hans looked at the sinfully crispy shrimp and the supplement that Lunch Rush provided for the afternoon's quirk exercises that Yaoyorozu was currently daintily enjoying, and suppressed the urge to go and buy extra food for himself.
Some tried-and-true eggcake with bacon bits in a tupperware container would have to do. It was one of the things that Hans could cook himself, and it was… very cheap and convenient... The high calorie content should be able to stave off the temptation of-
The sirens began to ring. His container was knocked over.
"What the hell?" Hans said, pissed that his food was ruined, standing on the bench and looking at… the crowd running around like headless insects.
"It appears that the emergency sirens are sounding." Yaoyorozu shouted calmly, trying to project her voice across the crowd to Hans.
"And why are they running?" Hans said, sitting back down and looking at his spilt eggs with a forlorn expression on his face.
"Because… we should evacuate?"
"We are literally in the heart of UA." Hans said, crossing his arms stubbornly. "There are concrete and steel walls around this building with several pro heroes in the building. The obscene amount of money spent on that aside, Japan's number one hero is also in this building. If anything, we should be safer here than outside. Also, I'd rather not get trampled and die, thank you very much."
Yaoyorozu nodded and sat down.
"Then… should we do anything about this?"
"Hand me a megaphone."
This time, Yaoyorozu didn't protest the order. A megaphone was created and placed in Hans's hands.
"Calm down, you headless sheep!" he shouted, standing up on his chair. "Yes, I'm talking to you all!"
The cafeteria's movements decreased in entropy as more and more people formed rings around the table Hans was standing on, angrily staring at him.
"What the fuck are you all doing? Where are you even evacuating to?"
"The parking lot!"
"Weren't you paying attention during orientation, first year?"
"That's not the point! All Might is in this building!" Hans said. "And there is no fire. There is no announcement saying that there is a fire in the building. Now… where are we supposed to go in case of a villain attack?"
"...The auditorium or the Cafeteria, so our teachers can gather us and protect us?"
"And where are we right now?" Hans shouted at the sheepish students. "Why don't we just sit down where we are… and enjoy our food? By the way, one of you idiots knocked over my eggs, you know? That's literally all of my food! I know who did it! You better pay me back! With interest!"
Somewhere far, far away, down several hallways, Iida slammed himself into a wall above an exit sign.
He stood there, hanging from the ceiling, and he was just about to shout at the students before hearing the megaphone.
"As expected of the vice president of class 1-A." he muttered. "His intellect was even faster than mine!"
…
Shigaraki stepped back from the crumbling UA gate, his dark hoodie making him seem even more obvious than wearing a severed hand would. At least then, people could just assume heteromorphic quirk and move on.
"Get him!" the ice shaving crew said. The man in the blue hoodie slapped the ground,an array of ice crystals sprouting from the ground and trapping Shigaraki. With one touch, however, the ice disintegrated, and Shigaraki ran for the shadows.
"Damn it.." Shigaraki hissed. "This isn't going to plan! Kurogiri, come and get me!"
He…wasn't wearing an earpiece. Ducking below the swing of a sledgehammer and dodging some electricity, he grabbed his phone and dialed Kurogiri.
"Get me out! Get me out of here!"
"...Young master, where are you?"
Shigaraki cursed. Which NPC messed up this tutorial stage?
The blue-hooded man sent a glacier arching over the reporter's heads, forcing Shigaraki to dodge again, waiting for Kurogiri to finally find him.
...
"Boss, what do we do?" the ice user muttered.
"This interloper cannot tarnish our reputation, Geten." Re-Destro whispered, his voice slightly tinny through the earpiece. "Let the telekinetics restrain him, and present him to the authorities."
"What about us? Should we retreat? We've violated vigilante charges, and-"
"No, no." Re-Destro said. "Let them arrest you. This is all for the greater good. Now, focus on capture."
"Yes, sir!"
Stomping on the ground, the blue-hooded man sank his feet into his ice constructs and began to surf after the saboteur.
…
That night, the teachers sat in a very serious circle. All Might, however, was supposedly at his agency right now and thus on the phone.
"Today… we've confirmed that there is a villian group targeting UA." Nezu said seriously. "They have access to a teleporter, and a villian with a powerful destruction quirk. We can expect an attack on UA to happen anytime, and our defense has been proven to be useless."
"...Are you sure they're targeting us, or the protest group?" Vlad King said, leaning forwards on the small, red couch he was sitting on.
"What are the hero commission doing about the protest group, anyways?" Cementoss said, rubbing the top of his blocky head.
"We…don't know." Nezu said. "They could technically be put down as villains, but after the ice melted, they caused two thousand yen' worth of property damage."
"...Two thousand yen?" Vlad King said, raising an eyebrow.
"They chipped four bricks."
"...And they're villains?"
"They did act out against a person who may or may not be affiliated with them, the person with the vaporizing touch. So either that was staged, or they were trying to perform vigilantism."
"What's the problem with charging them with vigilantism, then?"
"Public backlash."
"What?"
"They did start handing out shaved ice, and it could reasonably be interpreted as malicious interference or whatever. It's like a shopkeeper using a quirk to stop a shoplifter, except the quirk involved is pro-hero level."
"So, do we just have to let them go?" Aizawa muttered. "They're clearly breaking the law, no matter what they're doing. Using a quirk in public is illegal, even if you're a shopkeeper or somebody handing out free stuff."
"They are in custody now, but they still have to go to court, and juries are… notoriously fickle, especially since nobody was actually hurt here, and there isn't a moral dilemma. They're just handing out shaved ice when some area around them was attacked." Nezu analysed. "This is either a rash act… or a planned beginning to a grander statement. Did you all see the people sweeping the streets with telekinesis quirks, by the way?"
"Yep."
"Somebody is trying to make a statement, then, to as many people as possible. Some group that isn't trying to attack us."
"So…" All Might's voice said, "Things are getting complicated. Should I focus more of my efforts around UA?"
"That… would be helpful." Nezu said, "But keep in mind, All Might, that there are still situations in which you are required to act."
"Hahaha!" All Might's iconic laugh resounded around the room. "Don't worry, Nezu-san. I know how I should spend my time. And nothing is more important than teaching the new, rising generation of Heroes!"
"Speaking of the newer generation…" Aizawa said, finally starting a conversation. "There are some problem children in my class that are extremely ambivalent about the hero course."
"I already know about Andersen, and he's…an interesting case." Nezu said.
"This isn't just about him burning your health insurance forms, right?" Midnight said, giggling.
"No, it's not about that." Aizawa said. "But I know for a fact that there are people that actually want to be in the hero course, and he's…"
"Constantly complaining?" Cementoss said.
"Doesn't pay attention during my English class?" Present Mic groaned.
"Extremely sassy?" Midnight said.
"He just… hates the hero industry. And I somehow understand why. Even if he could be a hero, would he really be a good influence after he graduates?"
"Your job, Aizawa sensei," Nezu said, "Is to influence his influence."
"That brat is as stubborn as that woman trying to make me laugh with jokes." Aizawa said.
"Then just let his classmates take care of it. I'm sure they're already doing something about that attitude."
…
"Okay, I acknowledge that two days ago, I had the good idea of shouting at a bunch of idiots, but why are you giving me the paperwork to sign?"
"With your impressive display on Monday, I have made the decision of giving you the opportunity to learn from your past mistakes?"
"What mistakes?" Hans said, slightly irritated.
"You did burn Aizawa-sensei's medical insurance." Iida said. "But with sufficient practice, we can make you into a great-"
"But I refuse." Hans said, turning his head dramatically, the fluorescent lights casting a bizarre shadow on his face. It seemed more… angular. Almost defiant, instead of being a petty tantrum.
"How could you possibly shy away from the responsibilities of that sacred office?" Iida said, "As a hero student, you should face your fears! All of us will encourage you to-"
"Yaoyorozu, can you fill this stuff out for me?" Hans said, holding out an unburnt copy of Aizawa's health forms. "I don't think I can control my matches when my teacher's personal paperwork is involved."
"No, Yaoyorozu, don't!" Iida shouted. "This is a moment of growth for Andersen-san, and-"
"Of course I would." Yaoyorozu said, smiling. "You'll have to fill out these forms, though. I won't do everything for you."
"I-I suppose you're fine, if you're taking steps towards recovery." Iida said. "Doing paperwork is a great honor, and I myself relish a task such as this."
"You-you actually like paperwork?" Hans said, scooting back in his seat.
At that moment, Aoyama stood up and strolled past the bunch of non-disclosure agreements.
"Where are you going, Aoyama-kun?" Iida said. "Class is about to start."
Aoyama froze. "Even if it is shameful to admit, even somebody as sparkly as I has to-"
"Okay, okay. I get it." Hans said, "You can go to the bathroom, but you don't have to be so weird about it."
Aoyama winced at the words, but nodded and strolled out of the room flamboyantly. Hans looked at Aoyama's hands, one of which was stuck in a pocket, and raised an eyebrow.
Seriously, some people needed to stop being so intense about their only defining character trait.
I wonder what next chapter is…
Well, Aoyama is still (spoiler alert) still going the spy route. I wonder what would happen with Hans and his Human Observation skill… Hmm…
Hopefully, you all enjoyed the peaceful protests courtesy of Re-Destro. That won't be the last we see of these guys.
Quick thing: my m key is broke, and I'm too broke to replace it. If there are typos, please tolerate me.
Discord link: Stop me from making typos: discord . gg / 9t9MK3jHmV
-SpiritOfErebus