And you stood there in front of me
Just close enough to touch
Close enough to hope you couldn't see
What I was thinking of
Greenery rushed past me, lush fingers of ferns urging me forward. I was losing, and I hated it, but I didn't care. Chasing Edward was beyond exhilarating by itself.
I felt more like a predator than I ever had before, pursuing my prey. I was determined to get my pound of flesh.
Unsure of where he was going, but arcing after him like lightning regardless, I could finally start to understand why he had followed me so doggedly before. Perhaps he had felt the same, flush with adrenaline, and possessed by the thrill of the hunt.
He slowed at some unseeable sign, allowing me to finally catch him. I hadn't been more than a two feet behind him the whole time, and that was beginning to irk me now that he wasn't a prize for me to claim.
As I came up behind him, I tugged at the hair on the back of his head. "Are you actually that fast or am I just slow?"
The forest was starting to thin now, sunless light breaking through the gloom of the undergrowth. He turned his 1,000-megawatt smile at me, and I knew that if I was human I'd have fallen in an inelegant heap against the forest floor.
"That wasn't fair of me. I am unusually quick for a vampire. It was just too easy to goad you." The unabashed ego of him made me roll my eyes.
"Where are we? Isn't this..?" I recognized where we were now that we were almost to the edge of the trees. It was the meadow.
"Yes. Hopefully that's alright. The last time we were here resulted in some pretty poor memories - I was hoping we could make some happier ones." Again with the crooked-ass grin. Paired with his words, Edward was going to give my unbeating heart palpitations.
I remembered love from what little remained of my human memories, and I had never felt lust as a vampire. In the span of approximately 24 hours, however, I was acutely feeling both. The sensation of lust was the worst - it crashed into me like a thundering tsunami, making the apex of my thighs itch entirely too uncomfortably.
I tried to ignore it, but it rubbed with each step, stoking the burn. It was unlike anything I had ever felt, needy and consuming. Alarm ran through me when I considered how the hell I was to get through this day.
I swallowed, again trying to ignore the heated ache, and followed him into the meadow. He walked about languidly for a moment before stopping to sit, pulling a knee up with one hand and holding the other out to me.
A shiver ran up my spine as I tried again to shake the persistent ardor creeping up my navel. It was meant to be a light flop, but as if by magnetic attraction I found myself aiming for Edward, jostling him slightly. His eyes narrowed for a moment in mock upset, and that caused me to let out a ring of chime-like laughter.
"I've been meaning to ask you," He started, a smile gracing his lips, "Who were the ones who came to visit you during winter break?"
My smile was fond, glad to talk about something other than myself. "Clint, Georgette, and Francine. They're the closest thing I have to family, although we only see each other about once a decade."
He turned to look at me, and I wondered what he saw. Clearly not the broken girl I really was, or he wouldn't have that look in his eye that spoke to awe and amazement.
"Tell me about them. I want to know what your life has been like," he said, still not looking away.
Wariness colored my features as I took his expression in, full with genuine interest. I took a deep breath - it was time to fish or cut bait.
"To tell you about them, the way they deserve, I need to start from the start. It's.. a lot for me to unpack." I didn't say it or think it, but he heard the unspoken question: Can I trust you? Can you handle it?
Edward nodded his understanding. I still hesitated, not knowing how to start, and he said, "I didn't realize what I was asking. We can talk about something else."
The fact that he didn't try to cajole me, dig his fingers in and pry, resonated with me in that moment. I tried to give him a face that said 'You asked for it' before I cleared my throat.
"Well, you know start, and the broad strokes. Something in my mind told me I was a vampire, so I just ran until I got to the mountains. I didn't know my name, where I had come from, and I didn't have any money or a wallet or a car. I had no idea how to even think.. everything was just so overwhelming.
There was no one to tell me, 'This is what you do, here's how you live again,' so I just didn't. Live, I mean. I just wandered the mountains. The only clothes I owned were same bloody clothes I was changed in."
My breath shuddered as I drew it in, and I unconvincingly tried to tell myself it didn't sound as bad as I thought. I didn't look at Edward as I continued.
"It's embarrassing to say but I was like a feral beast. I didn't think, I just fed when I was hungry and tried not to drown in the freaking ocean of feelings left over from my human life. That's all I had. I lived that like for two years until I met Clint and his coven."
I smiled, remembering both that first meeting with Clint's family and the first time I had met Edward's.
"Actually, the first time I met them was a lot like the first time I met your family. I lost my mind, but I told them I didn't know my name or who had changed me or why. Clint told me about your family when I explained I only drank animal blood, now that I think about it again. Talk about serendipity. Anyway.
Georgette gave me stuff to clean up with and new clothes, and then they left. I still lived in the wild until I saw them again, five years later. They more or less forced me into human society since I refused to drink human blood - they paid for my first degree, got me IDs, made sure I even knew how to buy a house."
I laughed at that, still finding it ironic since I was pretty sure none of them owned their own home. Only one part of my tale felt sour - I didn't tell him how I had remembered my name, particularly my last. It had seemed to stir something in him before, and I instinctively shied away from it now, terrified of walking that track again.
"Like I said, they visit every ten years or so, but Georgette is terribly fond of England. She grew up in the South during the the Civil War period, so I think aristocrats remind her of that. Clint was a soldier in the Spanish-American War but he doesn't like to talk about it. I know he was changed just after the Siege of Santiago. Francine is mute - she's French-Canadian, and Clint and Georgette found her being abused by her father."
It felt like I had been prattling on for ages, so I took another breath and tried to wait for his verdict. While I waited, I tried to objectively look at how I had 'grown up' as a vampire. Alone, savage, undomesticated had been I, the greatest source of shame and embarrassment.
The things omitted were so much more than a name, and I knew it. I left out the years I spent adrift, fluttering aimlessly in the wind like a discarded plastic bag. Concealed the months spent in stillness so deep I would come to covered in moss and foliage and rock, the very Earth itself winding it's greedy roots around me to pull me to its core. Pretenses of humanity so feeble I had to move on after mere weeks at worst, unable to integrate due to the festering wounds I keep inside. How my fingers should have been bloody, raw nubs from desperately clawing and groping in my mangled psyche.
I was so much more pathetic than he realized. And I couldn't stomach the pity that would be evident on every feature of his absurdly handsome face.
The silence stretch on, making me progressively more worried the longer it ticked by. Finally I turned to look at him.
He wasn't looking at me either. His gaze was into the trees and beyond, his emotions indecipherable. He was still searching some far off place when he finally spoke.
"You're so mature, Elle. You're educated, humorous, considerate. To think you are still so good after being forced to endure all of that alone." He turned to look at me, genuine admiration in his eyes. "It's amazing. You are amazing."
The pang was back between my legs, loud and adamant. It was a force of nature, commanding. Making my body twist. I saw Edward turn to face me, surprise etched on his face. But I was already up and moving.