Chapter 13 - They Pick Up Their Hearts

Author's Note: Heh heh I wonder how many of you expected THIS? ;)

~ Amina Gila

Of all the things the Empire has done, Anakin would say this is the worst. He can't guarantee it, but it certainly feels like it. They destroyed an entire planet and took out everyone who could be left to talk about it. No doubt, they're intending to keep this quiet.

The others are talking in the background, but now, all Anakin can focus on is the whispering warning in the Force.

The black holes.

Right.

"We need to leave, now," Anakin says firmly.

"We have to find evidence of this," Padme interjects, stepping forwards, "This could be the chance we've been waiting for. If we could find the evidence that the Empire did something like this, it could be enough to take them down. If the Senate understands exactly what they've become, they wouldn't stand for it."

She's right.

She's always right.

"Then we have to make it fast," Anakin replies, "We'll have to infiltrate the Star Destroyer, get it's recordings, and get off."

"Which means getting captured," Fives says, crossing his arms.

"Captured?" AZI yelps as the others board the ship. "I do not believe this to be a good idea!"

Artoo beeps at him.

"We'll be fine," Ahsoka supplies. "Let's get going."

It's with a renewed level of fierce determination that Anakin fires up the ship's engines. There will be risks involved, and he knows instinctively that not everyone who goes in will make it out. Actually he – he's afraid of that, but Padme is right. If they want to topple the Empire, or if they want to change it, this is the answer.

The Senate wouldn't stand for it, or at least it wouldn't in Anakin's time. It was often so hard to get information – it's hidden so well – but if they could get a recording and play it on the Senate floor, there'd be no denying it. There would be no way to hide it. Getting someone to play it might be hard, but obtaining the information itself will be even harder.

"To infiltrate, we'll have to be captured," Anakin warns, "Or at least fake capture."

"I'm ready to do my part, sir," Fives tells him. He says it with the same tone, the same... everything which Fives once had. It still hurts. Anakin remembers him dead. He will never forget, never stop dreaming of that day.

"I know you are, Fives." He could say many things to that, but the cautions are something everyone already understands. There isn't anything more to add.

This is reckless, and Anakin knows that. He's worried about the results, the loss, but it's like so many of the missions they went on in the war. They have to take this risk, and if it's... he's just worried, and they need to hurry. The Force is tense around them, like it's warning, trying to protect. They have to go, soon. Anakin doesn't know how he knows, but they just... don't have long.

"I still have some clearances," Ahsoka volunteers, "I'm still an ex-commander and an Inquisitor. I doubt things have changed much."

"Good," Anakin says, focusing on flying towards the Star Destroyer. This feels insane. They should be fighting it, not – oh, whatever. It wasn't as bad as the Malevolence.

This won't be easy, though.

"We'll have to stay out of sight," Padme warns, "This is a Star Destroyer. We'll be way outmatched."

"I know Star Destroyers," Anakin points out, "I've been on them enough times to know how to sneak on. We'll have to get this done before they make the hyperspace jump." He's running over it in his mind, strategizing, trying to find the best entrance point, but they don't have long.

Time is always the biggest issue.

"If they make it to hyperspace, there will be no fast escapes," Asajj agrees, "Plan?"

"We need three teams," Anakin says, "One to get to the bridge and get the recordings. Another will have to deactivate the hyperdrive, and everyone else will have to create a diversion."

"We don't really have the forces for that," Fives points out.

"We'll have to make do."

"I can go to the hyperdrive," Ahsoka volunteers.

"That should be me," Asajj argues, "You stay with your boys."

Ahsoka huffs. "Fine. Have it your way." Anakin senses her glancing at Fives almost warily. She's scared. She probably hasn't led anyone since Umbara. It can't be easy to start again, especially after what happened before.

"I will stay with Ahsoka," Qui-Gon decides.

"I'll go with Anakin to the bridge," Padme says.

"I'm landing on an air vent," Anakin informs, "It'll be tight, but I'll make it. We have to be fast."

The Destroyer is sending in fighters again, which is the last thing they need.

"Are you sure this is gonna work?" Ahsoka asks worriedly, scrambling into the guns to start firing back. Hardcase is already on one of the others. He's still fast, like Anakin remembers. Seeing him still feels like seeing a ghost, someone who's supposed to be long gone.

"No, but I do not know what other choice we have!"

"He's right," Qui-Gon agrees, "There will be risks, and we may not all make it back, but if we want justice, or victory, the path is the same."

It hurts more to hear so bluntly, but he's right.

May the Force be with them.

"Ahsoka, one more thing," Anakin tells her, "Your lightsabers. They're in our room. Under my bunk."

"I know," she says, "I sensed them a long time ago."

Yeah, he knew, but still. "And you didn't take them?"

"Why would I?"

"Go get them," Anakin tells her, "If you're going to lead, you'll need them."

There's a brief pause of silence. "You trust me with that?"

"I've always trusted you, Snips, but it's time. Go on. I know you can do this."

She doesn't speak, but she doesn't need to – Anakin can feel her gratitude, her fear, but he knows her. Believes in her. She'll do what she has to, as she always has. She will be fine. They will be fine.

**w**

Artoo goes with Anakin and Padme as they sneak up to the bridge together. He's done things like this before but being inside a Star Destroyer is – it feels different. This isn't his own like the one they snuck into not long ago. Plus, they're being searched for. Anakin loathes having to leave the others to do... anything alone, especially considering the risks, but he focuses on the mission instead of his fear. He's good at that.

It still hurts, though.

Taking the bridge when it's full of people – especially clones – is hard. Between Anakin and Padme stunning them, and his attempts to cover for her, they do it. Somehow.

The tenseness in the air is only growing, and a shiver snakes down his spine as he looks outside. They don't have long to get out of here, and what will happen then, Anakin has no idea. He isn't going to stick around to find out, either, if there's something he can do about it.

The vents are always a good way to get around. That's still true, and it's certainly useful in trying to get back to the others fast enough. Ahsoka comms them mid-way with the report of having successfully gotten the hyperdrive offline – it won't hold very long, but it'll hopefully last long enough that they can make it off.

They have the information. Hopefully, it'll be enough, but now, Anakin can't shake the sudden, strange sense of urgency gripping him. It's not... normal. Something's wrong. About to happen. About to go very badly wrong.

Anakin can hear the fighting even a good distance away, and hearing it makes him tense up anxiously even more.

Action isn't supposed to have this kind of reaction. That only happens when – when –

It happened on the Citadel, before Echo –

"There's too many!" Fives yells over their comm. "We need a diversion! Something – something more."

"We can go soon!" Ahsoka calls back.

"We can't even make it to the ship right now, Commander."

"I'll be there," Anakin calls, "I – I'll be there –"

He has to make this faster, to – they don't have time –

He kicks the grate off the vent and drops to the floor. Padme climbs after, and Artoo flies down. Anakin sprints around the corner, skidding to a stop and backing up at the number of people there.

This wasn't the best calculated attempt, to be sure.

They need to –

"I've got it!" Hardcase calls, "Get out of here!"

"Hardcase, no!" Fives yells back.

"Don't!" Ahsoka shouts, and Anakin feels her panic. Her terror. And he knows – knows what's about to happen.

"Trust me," he calls back, "I've got a plan! This is for the 501st. Don't wait for me."

No. No.

"Hardcase, no!" Ahsoka yells.

Anakin presses forwards, and they make it into the hangar area where the others are waiting. It's too wide open, with too little cover aside from the crates and – and explosives that are what Hardcase is moving towards. There's too many. Too – Force.

They need an explosion to mask their escape. Hardcase is right – a fast thinker, as always, but he's pinned down where he is, and there's no way back –

If he sets them off, he definitely won't have time, even if it would be enough to give them the cover they need.

"I haven't been following your orders for quite a while now," he replies dryly, "Get out of here. Live to fight another day."

Anakin can only watch in numb horror as he makes it, but he has to stay focused enough on the battle, on covering for the others to make it to the ship that it – he –

The explosion rings out, deafening loud and enough that the floor vibrates from it.

Ahsoka screams.

She tries to run, and Fives grabs her arm, hauling her back.

Survival instincts kick in, enough to push him to the ship. Ahsoka fights Fives the whole way back before Anakin reaches them, and she finally gives in, stumbling aboard.

Anakin pauses at the base of the ramp, looking back. It's too smoky to see, but he still has a very clear view of Hardcase's helmet, still painted white and blue. Anakin remembers him. Remembers it – he always loved explosions. Doesn't seem fair he died from them.

It's the danger rippling in the Force that spurs Anakin into finally boarding, and Asajj takes off instantly. He feels numb. Can't feel anything else.

Ahsoka has a burn mark across one of her arms. It's the first time he's spotted it. She's crying now, and Fives shoves her at Anakin, his own grief pouring freely into the Force. The ship shudders again, and Anakin catches her, squeezing her tightly.

Gregor's already moving for the guns. They – yeah. Have to be fast.

They need to go.

"Master?" Anakin asks instinctively, turning to Qui-Gon, "Can you take care of her?"

He steps forwards, touching her shoulder, and Anakin disentangles them. It's so strange to see them interacting. To see Ahsoka crying in Qui-Gon's arms. He would have held her, cared for her in the war. He would've helped her, like he helped Anakin, when Anakin himself could do nothing.

Qui-Gon died before Anakin ever knew Ahsoka, and all throughout the war, Anakin thought she'd never get to meet him, never see the person who brought Anakin to the Order in the first place. He thought she'd grow up with whispers and memories of someone long gone, someone she deserved to know and never would see.

She does know him now, though.

Because of him.

Anakin brushes that off, running up to the cockpit.

**w**

It's almost a miracle they make it to hyperspace. Anakin's heart is still hammering by the time the blue and white swirls finally surround them. He – he thought... Something was wrong. He knew something would go downhill if they stayed a second longer, and he can't even say what. It was just a feeling.

Asajj is eyeing him, but Anakin pushes himself up and heads for the back the moment they're safe. Ahsoka is sitting on the bench in the hold, staring ahead of herself. Her eyes are red, but she's not crying anymore. Qui-Gon is still hovering nearby, and Fives is sitting next to her, holding her hand.

Clearly, they've made up from whatever happened, or Fives is just willing to put that behind him in favor of taking care of her. That's so much like the person Anakin used to know that it almost hurts even more.

"Ahsoka?" Anakin asks, stepping up to her, squeezing her shoulder. Ahsoka sighs, turning her head away.

"I thought I could help," she whispers, "I thought I could... I thought I was strong enough."

"You are," Anakin tells her, though everything he could say sounds lame. It always has, but he said it anyway, because it was all they had. They could only keep moving, no matter how hard it was. "We finished the mission. We were successful. We knew the risks, and so did he. There's always a price to be paid."

"Then what's it worth fighting for?!" Ahsoka yells, jumping up, fists clenched, "If people will always die?!"

He feels cold. "Because there are still people who live, who are worth fighting for."

"You said it would be fine!" Ahsoka shouts.

He can't say anything to that. It's true. He did. He should have known what could happen, that this...

"My brothers died for the Empire because we believed in it," Fives says, "And I still believe in it. I won't let his death be in vain."

"How?" Ahsoka demands, whirling on him, "By dying, too?"

"If that's what I have to do," Fives says fiercely, and Anakin winces.

Ahsoka scoffs. "You only say that because you don't have anyone you're responsible for. You never have."

"I'm fighting because I have people I'm responsible for," Fives throws back fiercely, "I have my brothers. I have Omega. She deserves someone willing to die for her."

"Nobody deserves that."

"She can live without me. Hunter wants a world without war, and that's what Omega deserves. If I have to die to give it to them, I will."

"No one else is dying," Anakin interjects firmly, ignoring the uncomfortableness twisting in his gut. This is so familiar. Fives being willing to die, passionate enough to destroy himself without any regard of what would happen. Ahsoka's loathing for fighting enough that she wants to walk out entirely, her inability to take responsibility for the deaths under her watch driving her to breaking point. Anakin struggles with it, too, but he – it's different. Death doesn't faze him like it did her. "But we need to deliver this to the Senate."

Ahsoka crosses her arms, glaring. "I am not losing anyone else."

He should have seen this coming. Should have predicted all of it – Anakin is their leader, and that's his role. He's always tried. Always failed. The result is always the same, no matter what he does. It's... he's so... tired. He wants to live. To know what that means.

(He wishes there was someone who would change the galaxy for him, who was willing to – like Fives is his own siblings. He might have that person already, though. Someone he walked away from.)

Qui-Gon's hand touches his shoulder, warm and firm and grounding. Anakin leans into it instinctively. "Anakin is right," he says finally, "We must disclose the truth to the Senate."

"That's what Hardcase died for," Fives agrees.

"Then where do we come into this?" Ahsoka demands, throwing her hands up. "What about us? What about him?"

"We can't always make the choices for others," Anakin says quietly, "We may have our duty, and our beliefs, but we cannot control them. We could not have stopped him, even if we tried."

"That's what we get for fighting the Empire," Ahsoka snips back, "I told you it's not something we'd ever win."

That's not fully true, but it's still...

"We do not chose the Light because we will someday win some sort of cosmic game," Qui-Gon tells her, "We choose it because it's the Light."

"It's a stupid choice," Ahsoka mutters, sinking back onto the bench.

"You don't have to come," Anakin says – he's had enough breaking up families over the past couple days. Might as well keep with it. Maybe this way, he'll be able to give Ahsoka a break. "After what happened, you could all use some time to recover."

"And you're, what, gonna just run off and do it, anyway?"

"Ahsoka," Anakin says gently, sitting next to her. She turns away, glaring at the table in front of them, arms crossed. "I know this is hard. I struggled with leading as well. It is not easy. I knew you grew up alone, and they were the first people you ever had, but you are not fully responsible for everything they do. We still make our own choices. You may have made mistakes, but what happened here was not."

"Why?" Ahsoka asks, looking up at him, hands twisting together in her lap now. "Why did he have to die?"

"I don't know," Anakin sighs. He wishes he did. "I really don't... know." He doesn't understand why his mother had to die, either. He wakes up every day and asks himself that. Has to remember that she's not there, that she's gone, that he failed her. It will always hurt, but the one thing he does know is that their lives still... live in him. "What I do know is that they still live on inside us."

"But how does that help if they're gone?" she asks, miserably.

He doesn't know what to say to that. It's not like he has an answer either – he's always wondering that about Shmi, and even about Qui-Gon from his reality. Though there were times he was certain he at least sensed Qui-Gon, even if that didn't really make sense.

But Hardcase is still gone, and there's nothing he can do to change that. Maybe if he could've... something,then things could be different, but he doesn't know how. He can accept that death happens, but that doesn't mean letting go of those who died is easy for him.

"I'll handle our contact in the Senate," Padme speaks up, "He'll send a shuttle to pick us up at specific coordinates. It's probably better if fewer of us go. It will create less of a scene."

The guilt is twisting inside of him, even if it's mingled with a determination to make Hardcase's death have made a difference. "I'm coming," Anakin decides.

"I'm coming, too," Fives concurs, firmly, "I'm going to see this through to the end."

"We'll come to pick you up once it's over," Qui-Gon decides, "Anakin, if I may have a word before you leave?"

He nods, the lingering depression and guilt too much to feel much of anything else, as he steps aside to the cockpit.

"I can sense you're upset," Qui-Gon explains.

That he's stopping to even ask about it... means a lot. "So many have been lost. Ahsoka isn't wrong about that," Anakin replies, gaze flicking back to where the Togruta is still sitting miserably. "Maybe there was something I could have done to help Hardcase." He knows this is the cost of leadership, constantly wondering if there was something he could've done differently, but there's times it's... hard.

"There are things none of us can help," he answers, "We may help whoever we can, but we cannot control the fate of all those around us. Only the Force can do that."

And he's supposed to be balancing the Force. He can't afford to make mistakes, to fail. He doesn't like talking about the Chosen One prophecy at all, for all that it entails, but right now, he can't shake that desperate feeling that he's supposed to be doing something more. He wasn't strong enough to save his mother, and he can't make that mistake again. "In my reality, they say I'm the – I'm supposed to balance the Force."

"That doesn't mean you can control everyone's fates either." he says firmly, touching Anakin's shoulder, "That burden is not all yours. In the end, the Force will guide us all on the paths it deems necessary."

It reminds him sharply of Mill Alibeth, the youngling he went on his first major mission with after his Knighting. "You don't always have to be the sun dragon," she'd told him. She was the first one to ever tell him that, and he... can't really believe that, because it's always what he's tried to be. But hearing someone else acknowledging that too... helps. A little.

"I know," he murmurs.

"May the Force be with you," Qui-Gon says, smiling faintly.

"Take care of Ahsoka," Anakin requests, as he turns back to the others. He shouldn't be gone long, but she's... struggling. Maybe a short break from the fighting really is what she needs. And maybe by the time he's back, if something actually changes by them giving this information to the Senate, it'll make her feel better, too.

All he can do is hope.

**w**

The first thing Anakin notices when he, Padme, and Fives get to Coruscant, on the ship that Palpatine sent to pick them up with, is that the sky looks different than when he was first here. There are definitely less stars. The pit of dread inside of him only grows, but he doesn't have time to think about it right now.

They were directed to land in the Works, at a location Anakin's not familiar with, but the area is mostly abandoned.

Palpatine is already waiting for them when they arrive. He might be dressed differently than the one Anakin always knew, but it's still jarring to see him again, knowing what he was in Anakin's reality. That he spent so many years looking up to him, leaning on him for support, and all that time he was a Sith, and it – it was never real from Palpatine's end. (Probably. Obi-Wan's a Sith, too, and he cares about him. Even if it's... twisted.)

But something about this Palpatine is different. He doesn't have that same lingering darkness to him that Anakin always sensed around his own – he'd just never thought anything of it, because some people just do feel like that, and definitely aren't Sith. But this one seems so much lighter; he never realized Palpatine could feel this light until right now.

He's not a Sith then, secretly double playing the rebellion the way he was in Anakin's reality. He'd been... cautious about that, because he didn't have a guaranteed reason to think otherwise, until now. Whoever the Sith master is here, they have no leads at all. Obi-Wan knows, though.

"Senator," Padme greets, approaching him, "It's good to see you again."

Anakin lingers back, just watching. This isn't his Palpatine. His Palpatine is gone, and he's one person Anakin's never going to get back. Maybe it shouldn't hurt so much because he was a Sith, but that does little to make Anakin stop missing him when he actually thinks about it. That he has no idea how real their relationship even was in the first place somehow makes it even worse.

"And you, Padme," he replies. "It has been a long time."

"We have the recordings of what happened on Kamino," Padme tells him bluntly, "We need a way to present it to the Senate. I think this could be the time we're waiting for."

"Perhaps you are right," Palpatine agrees. It's so hard to see him again. To hear him. Anakin hasn't really taken the time to think about how he – he killed him, or at least he thought he did – but seeing him again is bringing back every single memory he doesn't want to think about. He should have seen what was happening in his own reality. If he failed so far there, how does he know he isn't making all the same mistakes here?

What if they can't trust Palpatine? Padme said they could, that he was working with the Rebellion, but how can they know it was sincere? There was so much double play going on that Anakin has no idea who he can or can't trust anymore.

He thought he could, and he hopes they can now, but he's thought and hoped a lot of things. He hoped they'd all make it off the Star Destroyer alive, too. Maybe they won but – but Ahsoka is right. They didn't all win.

"My only concern is if you should really be the one to do it," Padme goes on, "Whoever gives this information to the Senate is going to attract a lot of attention. We need you as a contact. I don't think having you under that much scrutiny would be wise."

Palpatine sighs, something troubled in his gaze. "I don't know how much longer I will be able to remain in the Senate, regardless."

She frowns, and Anakin can feel her anxiety spike. "Why not?"

"Have you not heard?" he inquires, "About Naboo?"

Padme stiffens, and Anakin feels her fear. He feels it himself. He's freezing, and he – already knows the answer. "What happened?"

"There have been rumors," Palpatine begins, "Since the war ended. Whispers of something changing. I never considered it until I saw it myself."

"What happened?" Anakin asks quietly. He almost doesn't want to know, but he – he needs to know what threat this is.

"They call it the Galactic Shrink. Stars and planets across the Outer Rim have been disappearing without a trace, their stars burning out. We, of course, cannot see the worst of it from here."

No. No. This can't be happening. It can't – this can't be supposed to happen, right? The galaxy can't literally start dying right now, can it?

"Why have we heard nothing of it?" Padme asks. "If that were true, surely everyone would be talking about it."

Palpatine sighs heavily. For maybe the first time, Anakin realizes the darkness he senses from him is loss. Grief. And he knows what Palpatine is saying, even if neither of them can say it outright. "If the public realized how imminent death was, there would be widespread panic. The intentions of the Rebellion command are not all pure, as I'm sure you well know." He talks the same way. Hearing him makes it hurt even worse, but Anakin is caught up enough on the enormity of what he's saying that he isn't ready to process that yet. "Many care more for victory than the price it costs. If their followers knew, the Empire would immediately become the last of anyone's concerns."

It makes a horrifying amount of sense, and Anakin imagines the Empire is keeping it under close wrap too, to prevent panic. Unless they're the ones responsible for it, though he doesn't really know how that would be possible or what they would have to gain from that. But the galaxy is dying. That's not supposed to happen in his reality too, is it?

But if it isn't the Empire's doing, whose fault is it? He can't imagine it, but... he doesn't know. He needs to talk to Qui-Gon immediately. They're here on Coruscant right now, so this is probably more... important, but that's definitely the next highest level of priority.

"Naboo is really... gone?" Padme asks faintly. Anakin instinctively reaches to take her hand. It doesn't help anything, but the most he can do is try to be here with her for this, like she was for him. He lost his reality, but that's because he went elsewhere. Padme lost her home, and there is no way for her to get it back. There is no going back.

Naboo is gone. With her parents, her sisters, everyone she ever knew.

Jar Jar was probably there, Anakin realizes faintly, and it hurts even worse. He's probably dead, too.

"I'm afraid so," Palpatine replies, "I attempted to go back to Naboo myself when no communications I was sending through were reaching. The ship encountered too much interference before it could reach anywhere close. We had to drop out of hyperspace before we were pulled into a black hole."

Black hole. Just like Kamino. That's the real reason Anakin sensed so much urgency that they leave, isn't it? Because the planet was about to... disappear, too?

"I'm guessing they're going to blame Kamino's disappearance on the Galactic Shrink," Anakin says dryly at last, "Who named it?" It's a fair name, but it sounds ridiculous.

"I couldn't say," Palpatine replies, "But it's a fitting label for the severity of the situation. But for now, the Senate will be in session soon, and I must be ready with the information. Perhaps it will make a difference."

They can hope. "Will we be able to attend?" Anakin inquires. He'd like to actually see what's happening, and he doesn't know if it's safe for Palpatine to be alone, either.

"Only those with Imperial security clearance can get into the Senate."

"... That won't be a problem." Tech should be able to generate something... even if he's not here.

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