A/N: Hi there! Last chapter was a bit of a cliffhanger, maybe this one is too, but I hope you still enjoy! I actually had a lot of fun with it, so have fun :)

By the time Trudy was knocking on her door, Hailey still had the towel around herself.

She hadn't been able to focus on one task longer than ten seconds at a time before she was hit with the overwhelming reminder that Jay was currently in surgery in Maryland. For months, she'd been wishing he was at least back in the country. Now he was. He was also in Maryland in a hospital getting treated for being caught in a car explosion.

Her mind spun each time she remembered that little detail about Jay being stateside again. It took her five minutes to even attempt to brush her teeth, and even then she wasn't quite sure she did a great job at it. Putting on clothes, leaving the bathroom, drying her hair, that all felt impossible.

She had sat dripping wet on the closed toilet for a while before she texted Trudy. She wasn't really sure what she'd managed to get out, but, whatever it was, it managed to get Trudy at her apartment in under ten minutes.

"Hailey, open up."

She blinked through her haze and looked toward the open bathroom door. Her head felt too heavy for her body while her limbs felt like they were floating. It was all an out of body experience that she wished would end.

She also wished this was a nightmare. She'd had enough of them, especially over the last few weeks, that this felt like it could easily be one. However, she'd never felt this physically ill upon waking up after experiencing one.

"Hailey, it's Trudy. I will go back to my car and get a pry bar. Open the door."

Slowly standing up, she wavered then made her way out of the bathroom. Her bare feet slapped quietly against the floor. It was a softer sound than her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

Trudy knocked harder against the door. "Hailey."

Her hand was shaking as she reached out to the doorknob. It looked rather white.

"Hailey," Trudy said when the door finally opened. She let out a breath then rushed inside, gently pushing Hailey back from any possible view. "Why aren't you dressed?"

Hailey shook her head and stared blankly at Trudy.

The first guest she and Jay had had at their apartment was Trudy a year and a half before. They'd made lasagna and a pineapple upside down cake. Trudy had been shocked, but appreciated the gesture. She'd ended up staying for an hour after they'd finished dinner just talking with the two of them about any plans they had going forward. It'd been nice. Hailey almost thought it'd be like having a mom come visit you after moving into an apartment for the first time, but she would never tell Trudy that.

Now, perhaps like a mom, Trudy was standing in front of her looking shocked at what she was seeing. Perhaps unlike a mom, though, she crossed her arms, sighed, and said, "What are we doing?"

She didn't try fixing anything right now or cleaning up the mail and keys Hailey had dropped upon getting home the night before. Jay's letter was still on the floor by the couch and her coat was forgotten right where she'd slept. Plus, she was still fresh out of the shower just standing there in shock.

"Have you bought a plane ticket yet?" Trudy asked.

Hailey shook her head. She didn't know she was going to need one. She hadn't planned for Jay to be brought to the hospital.

He'd been in an explosion, though, he had needed to be brought to the hospital. He needed to be saved.

"Let's start with that," Trudy said, "I'll see if I can get you out today."

Today.

If.

She shook her head again and blinked quickly. "I need to," she breathed, "I-I need to be with him. I need to go today."

Trudy softened at her first sign of life and nodded. "I know," she said gently, "But I also don't own a plane or a jet and can't get you there myself. We need to buy you a ticket. I'll work on that while you go get dressed."

Nodding, she stood still and said, "Thank you."

Trudy nodded back and walked around her toward the couch to sit down. When Hailey remained standing in the entryway of the apartment, she turned around and said, "Clothes, Hailey. You need to get clothes on."

"Right," she breathed. She shook the haze from her mind and made her way back to the bedroom.

As she shakily pulled out a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, she tried focusing on the task at hand and not the one that was going to happen in Maryland. Right now, all she needed to do was get dressed. That's all that Trudy asked her to do. She could get dressed.

Could Jay get dressed? What exactly happened to him in the explosion? The lady on the phone…Melissa… Melissa Adler, she said that Jay had lost a lot of blood and mentioned shrapnel. She guessed that made sense. That was probably what the surgery was for. They needed to get that shrapnel out of him.

The last time he'd had a surgery to get something out of him, they weren't even dating. She'd been a wreck in the waiting room that day. Everyone was supportive of her, especially Vanessa.

She looked around in search of her phone. She needed to find her phone to tell Vanessa that Jay was hurt.

Walking around looking for it dressed only in her t-shirt and a pair of underwear, she tried retracing her steps. She'd been in the bathroom when she got the phone call about Jay and that's where she got stuck. Nodding to herself, she entered the bathroom and spotted her phone on the counter.

She picked it up, unlocked it, then froze again.

~ Someone called me named Melissa and said Jay is in the hospital. That military one. Do you know where it is? I need to go there. I need to bring him home. Can you help me? ~

~ I'll be right there. ~

She barely remembered sending that text and felt slightly embarrassed over it, but it was true: she really did need to go there and get Jay. He hated hospitals and needles and had a weird thing against doctors. He needed her.

In hand, that's what she needed to focus on. She couldn't focus on little tasks like texting Vanessa who she hadn't even talked to in longer than she cared to admit. She needed to focus on Jay.

Jay was going to need clothes, so, taking a deep breath, she glanced at herself in the mirror then nodded. She needed to pull herself together. She could not lose herself to her fears or worries. She needed to be okay for Jay.

Forcing herself to take a breath, she returned to the bedroom and pulled her leggings on before taking out other clothes for the next week. She had no idea how long she was going to be at Walter Reed or even where she was going to stay, but she figured there would be a place to wash anything if needed. It made her wonder what clothes Jay was going to need too. Last time he'd been in the hospital from getting shot, she could remember Will bringing Jay a couple outfits to wear for the few days he was there. She couldn't remember, though, if Jay had packed anything like that for his time in Bolivia. As he'd been packing months before, she'd sat on their bed crying as she watched him, so she had no idea what exactly he packed in his bag; she'd just been focused on the fact that he was leaving her.

His drawers weren't completely empty with a few pairs of sweatpants and some t-shirts sitting there, so she grabbed them and tossed them on the bed as well. If anything, she could wear them for herself. It wouldn't be a horrible thing.

Stepping out to the living room, she smiled slightly at Trudy still on her phone on the couch. She stopped from grabbing her keys to go down to the basement storage and said quietly, "Trudy?"

She looked up and took her glasses off. "It's good to see you dressed."

Hailey smiled slightly and nodded. "Thank you for coming," she said, "I appreciate your help. I needed it."

Trudy softened and stood up. Walking over, she raised an eyebrow and said, "There really is nowhere else I'd be right now."

Hailey nodded again and rubbed her arm. "I, uh, I'm gonna go grab my suitcase. Were you able to get a flight?"

"Yes," Trudy said, holding up her phone, "Your flight leaves at 12:45, so you have some time to pack and get everything in order. You also have a place reserved at one of the houses nearby the hospital."

Hailey shook her head and asked, "What?"

"There are houses for military families if they have someone in the hospital; I called and got you a room," Trudy explained.

Hailey stared at her in disbelief. She hadn't known or considered that was a thing, and she hadn't expected Trudy to take care of it for her. She opened her mouth to reply then swallowed and bit her lip.

"Thank you," she whispered finally.

Trudy smiled and nodded. "And don't worry about work," she added, "I'm working on calling Voight and sending emails to get your leave approved, though I'm going to approve it no matter what the others say."

Nodding, Hailey wiped her eyes and repeated, "Thank you. Can you tell the others and Will? Will needs to know."

"Of course," Trudy said.

Hailey nodded again then stepped backwards. Sniffling, she said, "I'll grab my suitcase, but I'll be right back. Thank you. Thanks."

"I'm not going anywhere," Trudy said.

Hailey smiled in understanding before going over to grab her keys and leave the apartment. She took a deep breath as the door closed and rubbed a hand over her face.

Her walls started to crumble again, but instead of being in shock, she started crying. Jay was in the hospital getting some sort of surgery because of a car explosion, and she didn't know what any of that meant. She was scared and worried and wanted him back safe in their home. He could be dying or have possibly flat-lined already on the table – how was she to know? It sucked the air from her lungs and made it hard to stand. Everything from her fingers to her legs were shaking, so she lowered herself to the floor.

Crying into her knees, she couldn't believe this was her life. It was worse than any of those nightmares because at least when Jay died there, he was with her. She could see it with her own two eyes. If he died now, she wasn't going to be there for hours. She wouldn't be with him during his last moments, and that gutted her.

She also knew he was scared if he was even aware of what was happening. Perhaps it would be for the best if he was unconscious his entire flight there and then again once he'd landed. That meant, though, that he was going to wake up confused and disoriented, and the chances that she could be there when that happened felt slim to none. She would do anything, pay any amount of money, to be there when he opened his eyes.

It just couldn't happen.

She gasped for breath and gripped her hair, trying to ground herself and calm down so she could continue packing, but there was no end. Jay was at Walter Reed because he'd gotten severely hurt in Bolivia, and she was at their apartment in Chicago. They weren't together when they needed each other most.

Their argument the other day didn't do anything to calm her anxiety about what was happening. They'd snapped at each other over the phone with vague promises to call again. She couldn't even remember if she'd told him she loved him. He could be dying and he didn't even know that she loved him.

Sobbing harder, she tightened her arms around herself as if to disappear. She'd screwed up. She hadn't told her husband how much he meant to her and now he was possibly dying on a hospital table. It was cruel.

The door next to her opened up, but she didn't have the strength to lift her head to see the person stepping out in the hallway. A second later, though, she felt the person sitting next to her and hugging her to their side, and she knew.

Leaning into Trudy, she didn't even try to hold her tears back anymore. Jay was hurt – badly – and she wasn't there to support him through it.

She had every right to cry, and she wasn't ashamed to do so.

The next six hours of her life were a complete blur.

Trudy managed to take her down to the storage room in the basement for the suitcases only for her to start crying again when she remembered going down there with Jay months before for his military pack. It was like a tap had been turned on that was impossible to shut off. Every time her brain remotely thought of Jay, tears flooded her system and made it hard to breathe. It left her gasping for breath and wishing she had Jay's hand to hold while she calmed down.

Upon returning to the apartment, Trudy helped her pack everything away and started making all the necessary phone calls. She seemed to struggle most with calling Will, but Hailey didn't know much of the information he was asking for, so Trudy tried as best she could and told him to contact the hospital himself. Hailey felt exhausted for her as she sat at the island staring at a cup of coffee she somehow had in front of her. She definitely didn't want that job. It'd been bad enough letting everyone know that Jay's texts were real and that he really had gone to be a squad leader in Bolivia. It wasn't something she ever wanted to do again, and this sounded ten times worse.

Trudy then got her to eat a peanut butter sandwich. The food sat funny in her stomach, and she wanted to throw it up. She hadn't been hungry at all and saw no point in eating anything, but then Trudy told her she wouldn't put her on the plane unless she had something in her system, so she gave in and reluctantly ate the sandwich.

Soon enough, they were at the airport together and Trudy was coaching her on what to do. She tried her hardest to pay attention to everything she was being told, but her head was pounding with a migraine, and she knew the information wasn't sticking like it should. It distracted her enough, though, that it took her mind off of Jay until she was actually sitting on the plane in her seat.

For the next two hours, she silently cried while staring out the window. She was fixated on Jay being alone in a hospital somewhere. He was by himself having surgery – it sounded miserable even if you didn't mind seeing a doctor. She kept questioning whether he'd woken up yet, what exactly his injuries consisted of, and what he even remembered.

She also had to work on reminding herself to stay calm upon seeing him. She didn't want her own fears and anxieties to increase his. She was going to need to be supportive and start actually listening to what people told her about him. When they got married, she signed up for being the backbone if he were to get hurt. He needed to focus on getting better, and she needed to focus on how exactly he was going to do that. They were a team, but this was her chance to step up.

Months before, she'd gotten a slight concussion from being caught in a car bomb herself. No matter what drama and disagreements that had happened at work surrounding Anna's death, Jay still made sure she was comfortable by making her meals and holding her in bed at night. He'd comforted her when she felt nauseous and whispered that he loved her while she'd been scared in the ambulance. If only she could have done the same thing for him.

The driver Trudy arranged for her was right on time and already knew exactly where to take her. She appreciated the man's quiet support as he smiled at her, asked her how the flight was, then loaded her suitcase in the back of his van before getting in the car to silently drive her away.

Her heart rate seemed to increase once she sat in the backseat and the car ride began. While she was still nervous and scared for what she was going to see in the hospital room, she was starting to get even more nervous over the fact that she was going to see Jay for the first time since October 8th.

She'd wondered many times what this moment would be like. Sometimes she imagined meeting him at the airport and him spinning her around like she saw on the news. Others, she thought he might just surprise her at work since he knew that's where she spent a lot of her time. In those scenarios, it was a surprise because he was coming home earlier than originally planned.

Unfortunately, the real situation was also a surprise and was much earlier than originally planned. In all her practice scenarios, Jay's eyes were open, he looked like how he'd been the year before, and he was smiling. In real life, she wasn't quite sure any of that would happen. If he'd been in surgery all morning, the chances he was awake when she walked in the room were probably very slim. That also meant no smiling. Then there was what he was going to look like, but she tried not to imagine what the truth of that was going to be. Picturing him post surgery was not exactly the most comforting thought.

The car dropped her off at the hospital, and her driver told her he'd be bringing her suitcase to the Fisher House she'd be staying in, so it'd be there when she needed her sleep. She thanked him, tried offering him a tip that he gracefully refused, then made her way into the hospital.

It smelled, and her heart sank.

One of the things Jay hated most about hospitals, besides all the needles, was the smell. When he told her about hating them, it'd actually been Adam who brought it up. They'd all been at Molly's about three months after she joined the unit and were talking about silly things they were scared of. Jay had said he was terrified to get attacked by a bear and Adam automatically said that wasn't nearly as silly as his hatred for hospitals. She remembered how Jay had tensed next to her and nearly finished his whiskey in one sip at that before heading to the bar for a refill. She'd followed him and he spent the next half hour quietly explaining why he hated hospitals and doctors to her. It'd been one of the first times she felt he was truly honest with her, and yet she always attributed it to the bit of alcohol in his system. All the same, she appreciated it and felt like she was finally getting somewhere in her partnership with him.

Looking around the reception area, she tried not to focus on the medical smell wafting through the air. Jay had said the smell was what reminded him of death and sitting next to his mom as she'd taken her last breaths. That fact had always stuck with her because when she thought of death, she thought of all the houses and businesses she'd walked in that smelt of decay signaling someone had died long before she got there. To her, hospitals just had a clean, stark smell. She didn't enjoy it, but it also didn't bother her. It bothered Jay, and she knew it was bothering him right now.

"Can I help you?"

Hailey turned toward a nurse standing near her as he sanitized his hands and nodded slightly. "Um, my husband, I got a call from…" She trailed off to take her phone from her pocket. All the caller ID from that morning said was Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. "Oh," she breathed, "I-I didn't write it down. Shoot. Um, I think it started with an M. It was a girl name. She called me to say my husband was brought here last night."

The nurse nodded and put a hand out. "Let's go take a look. We'll figure it out."

She followed him to a desk and said, "Jay Halstead. He was in Bolivia. That's my husband. She said he was in surgery."

"All right." The nurse sat at the computer and said, "My name's Val, by the way. You are?"

"Hailey Upton," she answered, leaning against the desk, "I'm Hailey and my husband is Jay."

Like in the car, her heart started racing again. She was close. Jay was here in this building somewhere, and they were moments away from seeing each other again – or, at least, she was moments away from seeing him again; she didn't know if he was going to be awake or not when she stepped in his room.

"He was in Bolivia," she repeated, "I'm really worried. That girl – Allison? no, that wasn't it – she said-she said he was in a car explosion. He…he's been through that before during his last tour. Was he brought here then too?"

Val looked up at her with a gentle expression on his face. "Perhaps. Can I see your license?"

She nodded quickly and pulled her wallet from her coat pocket. Her fingers shook as she pulled out her ID and passed it over. "The correct address is on the back," she explained, "I-I haven't had to renew it yet. Jay lives with me. We're from Chicago. Can you make sure that back address is the one that's in the system for him? He-he probably wasn't able to verbally tell you. We moved in together last year before we got married."

Val glanced at her license and the computer screen then stood up to pass her card back over to her. "Would you like a water?" he asked.

Her eyes widened and she felt fear seep through her as she struggled to get her license back in her wallet. "No, I want to see my husband," she said, "I want to see Jay. Is he here? I was told he was here. It was…it was Mal-no…"

"Mrs. Upton," Val interrupted, "I'll take you to your husband, but I'm worried about you. You've been rambling, and I just want to give you a second to take a breath. Would you like to sit down?"

It took her aback.

She wasn't one for rambling much and she certainly wasn't one for being told to sit down. She always felt like she could be a collected person in emergencies, but then again, this was Jay and she figured her judgment always wavered when it came to him. She'd crossed lines and lost sight of who she was all for the people she loved - Jay included.

And, in this case, she was not a detective. She was not the person delivering any of the bad news, she was the victim – or perhaps the better phrase would be the victim's spouse. After eleven years on the job, she'd yet to be the one on the receiving end of one of the conversations she hated having with family members and friends. She was now the one who was being told her husband was hurt, and she wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

So she nodded and took a breath. Whenever she gave bad news, she always wanted the people listening to her to stay calm and trust her. She needed to trust Val in this situation. It's what she would have wanted.

She followed Val through the lobby toward a water cooler with a stack of cups next to it where he then filled two cups before bringing her to a small blue couch. Once they were seated, he passed a cup to her and said, "I'm guessing you don't know what to expect."

She blushed and shook her head. "Sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize," Val replied, "I get it. This isn't exactly the happiest place. You haven't seen him, Jay, since he left for Bolivia?"

Sipping her water, she felt a sense of peace wash over her. That simple action was something she needed and hadn't had in hours. She hadn't considered how thirsty she was. It was all she focused on instead of answering Val's question until she'd emptied the cup. With her mouth now cooled down, she nodded and said, "I haven't seen him since October. We've FaceTimed a few times and he sent me a handful of pictures, but it's been a few months." She looked around the hospital then blushed again. "I guess that's not nearly as bad as some other people."

"No point in comparing your pain to anyone else's," Val said easily. He passed her over the other cup of water then said, "You said he was in another tour?"

"Two," she corrected after taking a sip of water, "Before we met, he did two tours in Afghanistan. He was medically discharged from the second because of a car accident. I never thought he'd go back…but he did." She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. "Um, so he was a squad leader trying to get rid of some drug cartels. It kept him busy. I…I always worried he'd get hurt, of course, but I never thought…are you able to tell me if he's alive?"

Val smiled slightly and nodded. "He's alive. I'll take you up there once you're done with that water. According to his chart, he got out of surgery about half an hour ago, so he's probably still asleep."

She paused on the way to bring her cup back to her lips. "Half an hour ago?" she whispered, "He…he was in surgery this morning when I first got the call. He…what happened to him?"

"I don't know all the details, so I'll let his team explain everything to you, okay?" Val said.

"Oh my god," she breathed, sitting back against the cushions, "He…oh my god."

"Hailey," Val said gently, "Take a second."

Her chest tightened again. Looking around the entrance to the hospital, she was in disbelief that she was even there. Jay had a lengthy surgery on his own and she knew absolutely nothing about it besides the fact that a car was involved. She didn't know if he'd been in the car or a witness or if anyone else had also gotten hurt. She wanted the information, but also dreaded hearing it. The idea of Jay experiencing any of that on his own was too hard of a pill to swallow. She hated everything.

With her hand shaking, she returned the water cup to her lips and tried finishing it. Some of the water dripped down her chin that she didn't bother wiping away at first. The cool water was no longer comforting, but became a challenge she needed to overcome. Drinking the water meant she could go see Jay. Tears formed in her eyes as she forced herself to take the last sip; she then set the cup next to her and rubbed her hands over her face.

She let out a quiet whimper. She was scared. There was no other way to put it. She didn't know what exactly alive meant and what his surgery could have been. She didn't know how he was going to react upon waking up or even upon seeing her. Was he going to be mad at her or mad at himself? Had he been gone long enough to actually achieve what he'd wanted to? She didn't know anything and hated it.

She blushed when she looked at Val again and wiped at her eyes. "Sorry," she whispered.

He shook his head and said, "I'm the one who's sorry I don't have any tissues right here."

Hailey laughed slightly and nodded. Taking a deep breath, she admitted, "I just don't know what to expect. I hate that. Not knowing what's going to happen kind of comes with my job, but when it comes to my family, I'd like to know what's happening."

"That's fair," Val said, "I'd say I feel the same way. I was a wreck when my daughter broke her wrist last summer. I've seen plenty of people, kids even, that have broken bones – even bones that are sticking out of people – but the second my daughter fell off her bunk bed and needed to be brought here, I couldn't function. It's always worse when we're on the opposite end of our jobs. It's hard seeing the people we love in pain."

Hailey nodded again and tried taking a deep breath. She studied Val through bleary eyes for a moment then hesitantly asked, "He is in pain, isn't he?"

Val held her gaze for a moment before saying, "From what I read, he's not the most comfortable. Hopefully, though, he's not feeling anything right now while he's sleeping. I'm sure his team has given him a good amount of medication as well. They're experienced doctors, they know how to best help your husband."

Wiping her fingers under her eyes, she again nodded and said softly, "Thank you."

It all made sense. She wouldn't have expected anything else, but hearing the words helped ease some of her nerves – definitely not all of them, but enough that she could at least breathe without her chest hurting. She'd still yet to see Jay or hear what was happening with him. Once she knew all the details, she hoped that would help all the anxiety she was feeling upon being here.

"Would you like me to take you upstairs?" Val asked.

All Hailey could do was nod in response. She picked up her second empty cup so she could throw it out on their way to the elevator.

Inside, she remained quiet. Her racing thoughts seemed to have come to a halt. She was about to see Jay for the first time in months, so she needed to take a second to herself to calm down. She wished she had more water to help settle her stomach.

Val led her through one of the hallways until he stopped just outside a door marked 518. "I'll let his nurses know you're here," he said, "And I'll leave them my contact information if you need anything, and I mean that. Anything at all, Hailey, I'm here to help just like everyone else."

She nodded and set her hand on the door handle. Her hand slipped slightly on it, so she quickly wiped it on her pants.

"Thank you," she said, "I appreciate it."

Val nodded back then squeezed her elbow before stepping aside.

Hailey took one last breath, glanced over at him, and then finally pushed open the door.

A/N: I know not exactly what you may have wanted, but I'll make it up to you next week with over 11,000 words. Fair? :) Talk soon!