A/N: Hello! I cannot believe this is Chapter 30. Thank you to everyone who's stuck around for so long; it really makes me happy to know that you trusted me that there really is a happy ending to be had. Unfortunately, some others don't agree and have written a sadder version of Upstead, but just know that Season 11 has no place here ;) I hope you enjoy today's celebration chapter. We've come a long way and deserve a smile. Can't wait to hear what you think!
Hailey felt like she needed to put her all in at work to best help Adam and Kim. She needed to ensure that everything regarding the Becks was clean. It helped that Richard had tried kidnapping Callum and was then shot by Kevin, but that still left the messy situation surrounding Callum and Sam.
She spent each day at work with Kevin and Dante pouring over all their paperwork, double-checking each fact they'd written down. The days were boring and blended together. She took to spending extra hours in the district, only leaving when Trudy reminded her that she had Jay at home and once when Dante reached around her to turn off her computer screen.
She still went to her therapy appointment on Thursday, but felt so distracted that she wasn't quite sure attending had made any difference in her mental health. Jay was glad she went, though, saying he was worried she was going to forgo her previous commitments.
It also gave her a reason to get home before she normally would have if she'd spent the day in the bullpen.
"Hey! There's my wife!"
Hailey laughed softly at Jay's teasing words the second she walked into their apartment. "Hi," she said quietly, slipping off her jacket and hanging it next to his.
"I'm making burgers, then we're going out," Jay said.
Hailey kicked off her boots and raised an eyebrow. Walking over to him in the kitchen, she asked, "To where?"
Jay looked up from forming a chunk of ground beef into a patty and said, "It's a surprise."
Hailey shot him a small smile and stepped over to hug him tightly. He was still dressed in his uniform from work, so she supposed he hadn't been home for long. She'd gotten used to coming home late to see him in sweats or jeans, but this felt nice to be so close to him knowing their schedules had lined up for once. It was comforting in a different way.
"Oh, hey," he breathed, setting the patty down on a plate and trying to hug her the best he could without placing his sticky hands on her, "You okay?"
She nodded and stepped back. "Yeah, I…seeing you after you'd just gotten home kinda hit me that I may have been spending too much time at work this week. I'm sorry."
Jay frowned, but shook his head. "I get it," he said, "And I've been busy too, anyways. I was with Mak on Tuesday and saw Adam yesterday after work, so it's not like I've just been sitting around doing nothing all week."
"I know, I know," Hailey said quickly, "But I've been distracted and that's not fair. Honestly, I was kind of distracted at my appointment too – probably not the best thing."
Jay shrugged. "I was distracted at mine too."
"But that was Monday," Hailey weakly argued, "That makes sense – Adam had just gotten hurt."
"Hailey, he still got shot by a kid and could have died. No one's expecting you to just bounce back and be cool with it," Jay said.
She sighed and ran a hand over her hair. "I…"
"Don't argue with me over this," Jay said, turning back to the food. He checked the pan on the stove then set the two burgers on it. "How about you go get changed into something a little more comfortable?"
"I thought you said we were going out," Hailey countered.
"We are," Jay said, "But you might enjoy yourself more if you're not wearing work clothes. Just throw on, like, I don't know, those pants you bought the other day and a t-shirt."
Hailey laughed in disbelief. "I bought joggers. Those are for when I'm going for a run or just laying around."
"They'll be perfect," Jay said, "I'll put on something similar. Now, come on, go change before the food's done."
Hailey stared at him without moving. He continued cooking as if nothing had happened, and she had a gut feeling he was planning something a lot bigger than joggers and a t-shirt were warranted for. It wasn't often that he'd plan a date night for the two of them, but it would usually include a meal, so the fact that food wasn't included in where they were going felt off.
Jay glanced over his shoulder and said, "Hailey, get dressed. You're acting like Makayla when I was trying to get her to do her homework the other day. Stop avoiding it."
"What are we doing?" she countered, "Why can't you tell me?"
"Because we're going to have fun and try to relax for once," Jay said. He stopped cutting up an onion and pointed his knife at their bedroom. "So…"
She laughed in disbelief and shook her head. "Jay Halstead."
He smirked and said, "Please."
"Oh my gosh," she breathed before nodding and going into their bedroom.
She could hear Jay laughing quietly to himself back in the kitchen as she sorted through her dresser. Upon moving in with Jay, they agreed to just wash their clothes together and take turns doing it. It seemed more practical than having two separate laundry baskets and waiting for each other to finish with the washing machine. From having gone through his drawers and knowing how he kept his closet, Hailey always felt confident while putting any of Jay's clothes away. He, on the other hand, took weeks to figure out where she kept stuff. There were a few times where she couldn't find her pajama shorts or the shirts she'd wear to the gym because Jay had been confused and put them somewhere else. It'd been frustrating at first, yet she never got mad at him until she ended up being late for her kickboxing class. That night, she'd then spent a good twenty minutes with Jay showing him where exactly she wanted everything put away when he was the one folding laundry.
After that, he'd gotten better at it. There were times when he would be sorting clothes in their bedroom and she thought he was taking too long, but she figured he was just making sure to get it right and didn't say anything. Tonight, though, as she looked in her drawers, she could tell that he'd just been in there. He had a way of folding pants that was different than what she'd do, but he'd also seemed to have pushed things around in search of something. Sure enough, the same pants he'd mentioned her having were situated right at the top next to a t-shirt that didn't belong in that drawer.
Laughing to herself, she shook her head and grabbed out the outfit he'd picked out for her. It was nothing special – navy pants with a white t-shirt – but she was going to trust that it was perfect for whatever he had planned.
Just as she went to pull her hair out of its ponytail on the way into the bathroom, Jay yelled out, "Keep the ponytail too! And you don't need makeup! Just you!"
Hailey couldn't help it and dropped her clothes on their bed before hurrying over to the door. "What the hell are we doing?" she asked.
Jay waved her off and flipped one of the burgers. "Do you want cheese on yours?"
Hailey laughed and lightly hit the door. "Jay!"
"I'm gonna take that as a yes," he replied with a wink in her direction.
Hailey jokingly groaned and turned on her heel to grab her clothes.
She didn't mind surprises. It was fun to be caught off guard and immediately thrust into whatever was going on. Her uncle threw her a surprise party for her thirteenth birthday, and even if it was only their family and some friends from her neighborhood there, it was still a lot of fun and felt special. Even as she grew up and started dating, there were unplanned date nights that she absolutely loved. When Jay took her out the other month because he finally got his sling off, she'd been ecstatic to finally leave the house.
But then there were surprises like today where something was happening, and she was completely kept in the dark. If she was going to be given time to prepare for something, she wanted to know what that something was. There was a balance that Jay was currently throwing off.
"I'd really like to know what we're doing," she said as she returned to the kitchen, dressed in the approved outfit.
Jay instantly smiled at her and said, "You look good. Okay, burgers are done. Do you mind taking the fries out of the oven in a minute while I go change?"
"Yes, but-"
"Beautiful."
Jay kissed the top of her head on his way to their bedroom, closing the door behind him and leaving her to her exasperated thoughts.
"You suck," she whispered while walking over to the oven. Putting mitts on her hands, she leaned against the counter to wait until the timer beeped. As she pulled out the tray of fries, she wracked her mind for where Jay possibly could be taking her.
Based on her outfit, if this was just an elaborate way to take her to the gym, she'd be real pissed that he made her eat a burger before doing so. There weren't any movies out that they'd been talking about, and she would have preferred to wear jeans to a bar if they were just meeting their friends. Once he surprised her with a drive around Chicago to look at all the Christmas lights, but that was definitely not happening tonight.
By the time he stepped out of their bedroom, she was completely out of ideas and was left to the realization that she was just going to have to trust her husband. While it might be easy to do at work or when they were here at home, she needed to swallow her need to know everything and believe that whatever they were going to do was fun and worth her time. As Jay kissed her cheek while sitting next to her and murmured in her ear that he loved her, she decided it wasn't going to be that hard at all.
Jay insisted she wear a tie around her eyes while they were in the car. She thought it was ridiculous and said people were going to think he kidnapped her. He ignored her and simply tied the knot at the back of her head.
To her surprise, the truck stopped after about fifteen minutes and Jay undid his seatbelt. "We're there?" she asked.
"Yup," Jay replied. He reached over to first click her seatbelt then pulled at the knot in the tie.
As it dropped from her face, Hailey blinked to get her surroundings. She laughed softly when she saw where they were and said, "The West Loop? Are we going to the Willis Tower?"
"No, no, tourist trap," Jay said as he slipped from the car.
Hailey laughed and jumped out of the truck. "Then where-"
"You'll see, you'll see," Jay chuckled, grabbing her hand so he could lead her to their destination, "So impatient, Hailey Anne."
Laughing again, she shook her head and leaned into him. "I'm just curious. We never do random things, and we really don't do random things here. You hate all the people."
"If I hated the people, I would have moved out of Chicago years ago," Jay countered, "I'm just not into the places that are packed with people because they saw it online and think it'll be something cool to post on Instagram."
Hailey hummed and looked around. From where they were, she could see three groups of people posing with the city in the background for pictures just like Jay had described. Whether or not they were tourists, she didn't know, but it was the exact kind of thing Jay liked to avoid.
They took a turn down a street, and the amount of people instantly lessened. Hailey raised an eyebrow and glanced around. "Is there anything down here?"
"Trust me," Jay said.
"Where did you even hear about whatever we're doing?" Hailey asked.
"You know Avery that I work with?" Jay said.
Hailey hummed and nodded. "You've mentioned him. He's a little older than us, right? Has a toddler but not married?"
"Yeah, that's him," Jay answered, "Anyways, his girlfriend surprised him for his birthday, and he said it was a lot of fun. I figured we'd gone through enough the past week that we deserved a break."
"Okay, that's cool, but you still haven't told me what we're doing," Hailey replied.
Jay laughed and stopped in front of a building to gesture up at a sign. "This."
Hailey raised an eyebrow and followed his arm. Her eyes widened, and she read off, "Ax throwing?"
"Yup," Jay chuckled, "I thought-"
"Let's go."
Grabbing Jay's hand, she pulled him inside, his laughter filling her ears. She'd heard about ax throwing, but never found the time to go. It'd been something in the back of her mind that she thought would be fun for a night out with Jay, and now she was getting her chance to see if that was true.
"You're interested?" he asked once he'd checked the two of them in.
She hummed and smiled up at him. "Of course. It's always seemed fun, and, more importantly, I think I'll be better at it than you."
"Oh," Jay laughed, "You really think you'll be better at throwing an ax than me?"
"I do," she replied with a smile, "I think since I'm smaller, I'll be more accurate."
"You do realize my job, right?" Jay asked.
Hailey hesitated for a brief moment. There had been a light in Jay's eyes lately in addition to all their conversations about his new job that told her he'd put his past behind him. It wasn't that he'd forgotten what he used to do, but that he'd accepted that it was no longer what he did do. She had a chance to make light of the situation, and now felt like the perfect opportunity to ease into it.
"A teacher?" she asked, a smirk playing at her lips, "I would love for you to teach me a thing or two, but I'm prepared to ace this subject without any study time or extra help."
Jay laughed loudly and pulled her against his chest. "Shut up," he murmured.
She laughed into his shirt and shook her head. As he gave her another squeeze, she knew this was what they needed to continue doing: making good, fun memories as they moved forward, leaving the past where it was, and learning that they really could live a happy life without Jay in Intelligence or the army.
"Your lane's ready," a worker said as she approached, "I can lead you there then get your drink order if you're interested."
"Very interested," Jay chuckled, wrapping an arm around Hailey's shoulders while following the girl.
Hailey glanced around the area at the other people throwing axes and drinking beer. Once she asked for whatever Jay ordered without even hearing what he'd said, she tapped his back and said, "Babe."
He leaned against the table and nodded at her.
"No one else is dressed like they're going to the gym," she stated, "Why did you have me put this on?"
Jay's eyes dragged down her outfit before he glanced around them. Shrugging, he said, "I thought it'd be easier, and maybe I like the way you look in those pants."
"They're new," she laughed, "You've never seen me wear these before."
"Married instinct," Jay quipped back with a smirk.
Hailey laughed harder and stepped around the table to approach the crate filled with a few axes in front of the lane. She toyed with the handle of a smaller one before picking up the one with a blue handle. "Are we putting money on this?"
"I wasn't planning on placing bets, but if that's what you'd like to do," Jay said, "Then I'm in."
"Maybe a practice round first?" Hailey asked, swinging the ax at her side.
"Whoa, hey, hi, sorry," a man said as he walked over to them, "Sorry, just gotta wait till I'm here and go over some basic rules before we get started."
"Not a problem," Jay said, "She was just trash talking anyways."
The worker chuckled and said, "I see. Well, I'm Devon, and I'll be your coach for the night. Either of you done this before?"
"No, but I'm pretty confident," Hailey said.
"Some might call it cocky, but I'm probably the same," Jay admitted.
Devon laughed and nodded. "Solid. All right, it's pretty straight forward."
Hailey half-listened to the directions. It wasn't anything she didn't expect to hear, but she was mostly trying to keep track of everything so she'd know if Jay cheated during the competition. She didn't often beat him whenever they'd go to the shooting range and see who could have a higher accuracy or be quicker, which meant this was her chance to show him up – even if it was a completely new skill neither of them had any experience in.
"Ladies first," Devon said once he'd said what he needed to and stepped back.
Jay sipped his beer then held it up to her. "Good luck."
Hailey laughed softly and situated herself behind the designated line. Taking a deep breath, she raised her arms and threw the ax in the direction of the target. It hit the side with some force then fell to the ground.
"Not too bad," Devon said as she went to retrieve the ax, "Try not throwing as hard and take a step to your right. Maybe do one arm too, you don't need both."
Hailey hummed under her breath and adjusted where she stood. Lifting her left arm with the ax in hand, she quickly threw the ax and gasped when it hit about two inches to the left of the bullseye.
"I did it!" she cheered.
"There you go!" Devon said, "Nice job!"
"That's my girl," Jay chuckled.
Hailey smiled at him and said, "I told you I'd be good."
"Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Jay said. He set his beer down and walked over to pick up his own ax. "You threw twice and missed the first time. That's a 50/50 odds that you'll hit it, which is like nothing."
"You're just jealous," Hailey replied. She dodged his outstretched hand with a laugh and sat at their high-top table. She took a sip of her beer and said, "Let's see what you can do then."
"Let's," Jay replied. He picked up a couple of the axes to test the weight, then settled on one and set himself up in front of the target.
Hailey smiled against her beer when he threw the ax and it bounced off the target like hers had.
"Same thing I told Hailey," Devon said, "Don't throw it as hard."
"Yup," Jay replied.
Hailey laughed softly as he picked up his ax and went back to try again. This time, he seemed to let go too soon because while the ax stuck in the target, it was barely hanging on at the very top.
"Not bad," Hailey said, "You got it to stick this time."
"Yeah, yeah," Jay replied, "It'll just take some practice."
Devon laughed as he walked over to grab Jay's ax. Passing it back to him, he asked, "You two want to play some games with it or are you just into throwing it at the wall? I'm good with either."
Hailey's eyes lit up, and she met Jay's gaze to realize he felt the same way. "Hundred percent we want to play games," she said.
"Any way that I can have a definitive answer to say I beat my wife at something," Jay added.
"Oh, please, let's never going to happen," Hailey scoffed, jumping down from her bar stool.
"It will," Jay said easily. Dropping his ax back in the crate, he crossed his arms and looked to Devon. "Lay it on us."
Jay was smart, quick, and one of the most athletic people Hailey knew, but when it came to throwing an ax at a target, he just couldn't get the hang of it. As their hour pushed on, he did get better, but she had a knack for it that he was lacking. When Hailey would get two points, he'd get one. If she hit the bullseye, it was almost a guarantee that he'd either hit her ax or miss it by inches, earning a few points less than she.
"I've gotta say, I'm impressed," Devon said while sticking both their axes in the crate for the last time, "I don't know if I've seen two people quite as good as you two."
Hailey smiled wide and shot a wink at Jay. "But one of them was just a smidge better than the other, wasn't she?"
Devon laughed and said, "Yeah, I'll hand it to you."
"Okay, okay," Jay chuckled. He finished his beer before fishing out his wallet. Passing some money to Devon for a tip, he said, "Thank you for tonight. It was a lot of fun."
"Not a problem," Devon said, reaching over to shake both their hands, "If you two ever want to come back, feel free to stop in."
"We will," Hailey replied. She accepted Jay's hand in hers and began walking them back to the door. She could easily see the two of them coming back for another date night or even with their friends. It had been a fun way to forget everything that was happening and just relax for once – just like Jay had planned.
"You did good," she said softly as they stepped out into the cool air, "This was a lot of fun. Thank you."
Jay smiled at her and tugged her hand so she was better tucked into his side. "You're welcome," he said, "You've been working pretty hard lately; you needed a night off."
She hummed and nodded. Glancing around at the city beginning to wind down as they walked to the parking lot, she remembered where they were and decided to make the already fun night last a little longer. They approached the truck, and, before Jay could even unlock it, she grabbed the keys from his hand.
"I'm driving," she said quickly, "I want to do something."
Jay raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but just tell me where it is; I can drive there."
Hailey shook her head. "You drove here and picked ax throwing. My turn for something fun. I won the games anyways."
"Oh, so that's how we're playing this?" Jay laughed.
"Yes," Hailey replied with a wide smile. She held the keys above her head where Jay could easily reach out and grab them and said, "Get in the car."
Jay's eyes slid up to the keys dangling from her fingers. He opened his mouth as if he'd refuse, but settled on chuckling and shaking his head. "You're crazy," he said before walking around the truck and getting in the passenger seat.
Hailey's smile spread at her victory, and she quickly jumped into the truck. Adjusting her seat, she said, "This might be a fail, so if we have to just go home, I'm sorry."
"Who cares?" Jay said, "We'll figure out a back-up plan if we have to."
Hailey smiled at him and put the truck in drive, heading off to their destination.
All too soon, she was parking the car and Jay was saying, "Isn't this the lot for the Willis Tower?"
"It is," Hailey replied. She hurried out of the car before Jay could ask any more questions and went to wait for him at his door.
"Are we getting food or something?" he asked as he stepped out.
"No, we already ate."
Hailey grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the building. It'd been years since she'd done what she was hoping they could do tonight, and she'd never even experienced it with Jay, so this could be a night of firsts together.
"Then what are we doing?" he chuckled, "What kind of- Oh."
They paused in front of the sign upon entering that advertised the Skydeck.
Hailey smiled and said, "Let's just see if there are extra spots available for tonight. I know you're not a huge fan, but we've never done it together, and the sun's setting, so it could be really pretty."
She half-expected Jay to deny her and repeat that he didn't like doing any of the touristy things Chicago had to offer, but once he took a deep breath and glanced around at the lobby that wasn't too full, he smiled and said, "Why not? We were just throwing axes, so we can go stand out on a piece of glass too."
Hailey laughed and said, "We don't have to stand on the actual deck part. We can just look around at the city. It'll be nice."
Jay hummed and squeezed her fingers. Together, they made their way downstairs and to the line for the Skydeck. Standing there, Hailey tried figuring out who was actually a tourist nearby and who was just going for a night out. There were a couple families with kids who either looked terrified or excited, a few groups of friends, and one couple two ahead of them that almost seemed more nervous of each other than of what they were signing up for.
The girl kept playing with the ends of her hair, and the boy was shooting her small, hesitant smiles even when she wasn't looking at him. They were standing close enough to touch, but nothing more than a few brief brushes of their arms was happening. If Hailey had to guess, they were probably on a first date or it was one of their first.
She probably would have counted drinks at the bar before they slept together her first date with Jay, but after a week of going home together after work and getting take-out, he'd stepped up and asked her on an official date.
"Are you doing anything on Friday?" he'd asked her.
She'd stopped walking out of the district to jokingly think before saying, "Honestly, I was just hoping you could come over."
Jay had laughed and shook his head. "That sounds great, but I was hoping we could go out and do something. Maybe dinner and a movie if that isn't too lame."
Hailey remembered feeling slightly shocked by the statement, especially because it'd seemed so normal compared to everything else in their lives. "Dinner and a movie?" she'd repeated, "How come? Is there something you want to see that's not on Netflix or anything?"
"Not necessarily," Jay had replied, "I just thought it could be something we do together. There are actually a few Christmas movies that were just put out as a re-release. We could maybe get into the holidays a little early because who knows when we're actually going to celebrate them."
It hadn't cleared up any of the confusion floating around in Hailey's mind. She'd honestly felt like they didn't really even need to go on dates. They'd spent so much time together over the past few years that wasting money by going on dates or little adventures to try and win each other over felt silly. She knew who Jay was as a person; he didn't need to impress her anymore than he already had.
"Are you sure?" she'd asked quietly, "Because you really don't have to take me out. I'm sure we could find something on our TVs to watch if we really want to do that."
But Jay had shook his head and glanced around before reaching over to brush his cold fingers against hers. "I want to take you out," he'd said, "This last week has been a lot of fun, but I don't want to just ignore the whole idea of dating. Yeah, I know how you take your coffee and what your pizza order is, and, okay, maybe I have seen you now in the morning and in the shower, but…Hailey, I'd really like to take you out on a date. Let's go do something so I can show you that we can be more than just the us we've always been."
It'd been more than enough to convince her to say yes to his idea of a date night.
The idea behind the night had been lowkey, but Hailey had still wanted it to be special, and she was certain Jay felt the same way. He picked her up at her apartment with a small bouquet of a variety of dark colored flowers before taking her out to a nicer Thai restaurant she'd never been to before where he insisted on paying for her meal. It continued at the movie theater, and he again paid for their tickets to see a re-run of Elf, but she was able to sneak past him in the line for concessions and bought them a large popcorn and a box of M&Ms to split along with two drinks. Perhaps they had been too full from dinner to really enjoy the snacks, but she still showed him how she liked dropping the M&Ms in the popcorn and mixed it up with salt and butter that admittedly gave them both stomachaches later that night.
Back at her apartment, she had expected for them to fall into bed together, but, instead, they sat on the couch for a couple hours, eating the last of their half-touched popcorn in the glow of her TV playing something she couldn't even remember. She'd jokingly made a comment about being too tired to walk to bed, so Jay had carried her there. Instead of sleeping together, they made their way beneath the blankets to talk even longer about what the holidays had been like while growing up until Hailey couldn't even keep her eyes open anymore. The last thing she remembered from the night was Jay kissing her forehead and whispering to her how beautiful she was.
It'd been the best first date she'd ever been on.
"Do you remember our first date?" Hailey asked softly, keeping her eyes trained on the nervous couple in front of her.
Jay glanced down at her and smiled. "I do," he said, "You didn't want to go out with me."
"No," she laughed, "That's not at all what happened. I just didn't see why you wanted to, but then I got it. You were right, we needed to be a couple; we couldn't just be Jay and Hailey forever – we became us because of that night, I'm convinced of that."
Jay softened as he leaned down to drop a kiss to the top of her head. "I agree," he said softly, "We did become us, but I think we also became us that New Year's Eve. That was a favorite night of mine during those first few months."
Hailey raised an eyebrow. "New Year's Eve?" she repeated, "Didn't we work until like ten that night? We barely got a celebration."
"Yeah, but that's what we were, right?" Jay said, "We were two cops who had crazy schedules that kind of sucked most days, but we found ways to put that to the side and just be together at home. I took you back to my place since you were worried your apartment would be too noisy-"
Hailey sighed and said, "It was a nice place, but the amount of college kids that were living there was insane."
Jay laughed and shrugged. "You were just being cautious that night; my place was fine anyways. We had pizza and champagne and watched the countdown, and it was a lot of fun. It was just us – no expectations or crazy interruptions; we just hung out, and that's what I like best about us."
Hailey smiled slightly as she took another step closer to him. "Says the guy who planned a surprise date night for us about three hours ago."
Chuckling, Jay said, "It's not like it was something romantic. We were throwing axes at a wall and drinking beer."
"But it was perfect," Hailey said, "I loved it so much. Thank you."
"And thank you for this," Jay said with a gesture toward the front of the line.
"Please, we haven't even gotten up there yet and don't even know if we can. We might get the chance to buy tickets and just be told that we need to go home because it's all sold out," Hailey replied.
"Hey, that's not the girl I married," Jay said, "Be positive. It'll work out."
"When have I ever been the positive one?" Hailey countered.
"You just are," Jay said without missing a beat, "You are…Hailey, you're this little bit of happiness in my life. That doesn't mean you're crazy optimistic or anything like that, it just means that you make everything a little bit better. Even if we have to turn around and go back to the truck because there aren't any tickets for us, it's going to be fine. I'm sure we can come back another day."
"Okay," she said softly.
Wrapping her arms around him for a quick hug, she breathed in the scent of his cologne and their laundry detergent and realized he was right. Whatever happened in approximately five minutes as they reached the front of the line was going to happen. They couldn't avoid being told 'no' even if they begged to go up top. It just meant that it wasn't supposed to happen that night, and that was okay. As long as she had Jay, that was really all she needed.
However, when they did reach the front of the line and were asked to show their tickets, the cashier didn't turn them away that second when they replied that they didn't have any. Instead, she made a reservation for them and asked that they wait half an hour before going up. Hailey was more excited than she anticipated to hear that they could go through with her last minute addition to date night, and happily led the way to a bench to sit at with Jay while they waited for their turn.
There on the bench, Jay placed his hand on her thigh and asked her about the last time she'd gone up on the Sky Deck. She had to think harder than she should have, but she still found it within her to tell him about going up with a group of friends right before she graduated college. Even she was surprised to realize that it'd been that long since she'd taken in Chicago from that distance.
In hand, Jay replied that he hadn't gone up since before his mom had passed away. She had wanted one last look at the city before being confined to her bed, and her boys wouldn't dare refuse her that. He talked her through what that entire day had been, and Hailey wished more than anything that she had known exactly what this place meant for him.
She wasn't quite sure this was something Jay would want to follow through with and briefly worried that going up to the Skydeck would be too emotionally charged for him, but he seemed to catch on to her hesitation and simply kissed her temple, whispering in her ear that he was excited to experience it with her.
Their time came soon enough, so they made their way to the elevator to go up all one hundred and three floors. Hailey leaned against Jay in the elevator and laughed softly when he played with her ponytail. Closing her eyes against the speed of rushing through the building, she focused on her breathing and what tonight was about. She was alive with Jay, and they were together after what seemed like an impossible handful of months on top of an already difficult year. Their friends were also healing from their own trauma that had occurred, most of which had been over this past week. Everything really was going to be okay, just like Jay had said it would be.
The sky was a dark, burnt orange with light pinks and purples weaving in and out of the clouds. The barely there sun set a beautiful haze over the city that challenged the one they'd seen over Lake Michigan weeks before. It was everything Hailey had wished it would be.
"It's beautiful," she whispered.
This time, when Jay replied, he wasn't staring down at her, but following her gaze out at the sky. "It is," he breathed.
Placing her hands on the glass, Hailey took a deep breath and said, "This is home."
Jay nodded next to her and said, "This is what I'd think about when I was gone. Obviously, I'd think about you and Will and the others, but when I was missing the wind or the lake, this was what was on my mind. Home is anywhere with you, but if I absolutely have to pick a place, then this is it."
Hailey smiled and tore her gaze away from the city to look up at him. Pushing up on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek and whispered, "I completely agree. The lake and the small town were nice, but this…this is everything I always wanted. Right here, with the amazing sky and the buildings just starting to light up, this is what it's all about."
Jay hummed and held her close to his side. "I can see why my mom wanted to see this one last time before…before it happened."
Hailey nodded and brushed her hand over the back of his neck. "It's an amazing view to take in. Everyone needs to experience it at least once." She glanced around at the people surrounding them and decided to take that back. Shaking her head, she said, "Actually, everyone needs to come up here multiple times in their life."
"Oh, yeah?" Jay asked with a smile on his face, "What's that mean exactly?"
"Well," Hailey said, turning to nod toward one of the families she'd seen in the line downstairs, "You need to come when you're a kid – maybe do the ledge thing, maybe not. You just have to see what this place is. Then you have to come when you're a bit older – high school or college, early twenties at the latest. That's when you come with friends and maybe you're a little buzzed, but you're having fun and taking the pictures and just living in the moment because you live in Chicago and it's stressful but it's way better than living anywhere else."
Jay laughed and set his hands on her waist. "I think that's a fair assessment."
"I'm not done," she said with a soft laugh of her own, "There's when you come as an adult, like we're doing right now – maybe you have kids like those people or maybe you're in a relationship or maybe you're just older. Whatever it is, though, that's when you do what we're doing right now: being grateful. This is our home, and we've learned to appreciate it."
Jay nodded along with her, softening and understanding exactly what she was saying.
"And then you go when you're old," she finished gently, brushing her hands down his arms until they were resting over his wrists, "Or at least, when you know you don't have much time left. That's when you come up here and reflect on everything you've done in the city. You remember all the good and the bad and the boring and realize how great it was to live somewhere so full of life. That's…that's what I'd like to do someday. Life has been the opposite of easy, but I'd love to come up here in twenty, thirty, even forty or fifty years and look down at everything and realize I'd survived."
Jay stared at her for a moment then wrapped her tightly in his arms. Resting his chin on her head, he whispered, "I love that; it's perfect."
Hailey smiled and rested her head on his chest to look out at the city. She has shed many tears throughout the city, but she's also had so much happiness and joy from living here. It wasn't just the city itself, but the people that made it so special to her. As much as she wanted to eventually retire and live out the rest of her life somewhere peaceful with Jay, she didn't think she could ever truly live anywhere else. Chicago was her home, it's what made her who she was, and she knew that it was where she belonged – New York wasn't the place for her and neither was Michigan, really. It was here, in this city, in Jay's arms.
This was her home.