CHAPTER 12: I'll Never Leave You

For the past two weeks, Naruto had been busy again with his numerous obligations, and Gaara felt left out. Even if he understood that Naruto couldn't be there for him daily, he couldn't help but feel abandoned.

In the middle of his emptiness, memories of Kiba had emerged, and the weight of how things were left in the open, was tormenting him. Even if Kankuro and Kiba were now together — an idea that still made Gaara feel angry and betrayed — Kiba never visited their house. It was always Kankuro who sneaked into the younger man's place, leaving Gaara alone at home.

With a sigh, Gaara wondered if people really hated him in secret. If even Kankuro hated him, too, at least on some level, since he seemed to prefer Kiba's company over Gaara's.

In the darkness of his mind, these ideas grew and grew, and his anger and hurt blossomed in poisonous flowers.

Until one evening, when Kankuro was in the shower, Gaara decided to get Kiba's number from his phone. Before his brother would be any wiser of what was up, Gaara took a pack of cigs and put them in his bag and headed out of the door.

On his way, he called Kiba's number. He didn't pick up. Hurt, Gaara called him repeatedly.

Eleven unanswered calls.

Angry because he was being ignored like this, Gaara wrote him a message. And another one.

Please Kiba, I just want to talk.
Please pick up the call.
Kiba, we need to talk. I hate how things were left open. I need closure.
Please.
Answer me.
Why are you not answering me?!
Do you HATE me?
Please, Kiba!

He tried calling him again, and again, to no avail. That was Kiba's house over there, and one window was lit.

Determinedly, he rang the doorbell. Waited. Rang it again. And again. Faster this time. Like a rhythm.

He was losing patience, and what was this, his fifth cigarette already? His nerves were killing him, and that damned smoke couldn't calm him down.

"Kiba, it's me! Open the door!" he shouted and banged it with his fist. "I know you're in there!"

His patience was wearing thin. Why couldn't Kiba just meet him, and hear what he had to say? Instead, the coward was hiding, pretending Gaara didn't exist.

Angrily, Gaara picked up a small stone, and threw it on Kiba's window. The glass trembled, and again, when another small stone hit it.

"Kiba!" Gaara called. "I just wanna talk."

Something like a shadow moved behind the glass, and Gaara perked up. He waited, and waited, but nothing happened.

In frustration, he banged at the door with his fist, and called out his name again. "Jesus Christ, Kiba, just let me in!"

Trembling, Kiba peeked from behind the curtains to his yard, where one angry redhead was shouting his name. His phone was ringing again, the screen glowing eerily in the darkened house. When it ended, he peeked again, and saw Gaara digging around the yard, holding a bigger stone this time.

In panic, Kiba gritted his teeth and rushed to the door.

Gaara was about to launch the stone at the window but halted when the door opened.

"Kiba!" Gaara dropped the stone and strode towards the door.

Wind was messing his red hair, making it wild like a forest fire. The darkness around his piercing eyes was even more prominent than Kiba remembered. And the unmistakable scent of tobacco was bringing back memories Kiba thought he had forgotten.

"Hi," the brunet said weakly, still trembling, as he remembered the bloodied letter again, the accusations in it, and the fervor Gaara had bombed him with messages and stones.

"Can I come in?" Gaara asked softly.

Backing away, Kiba let him enter the house. The lock clicked behind Gaara, and the darkness of the house entwined them. Kiba backed away, until his back hit the wall.

A streak of light slashed through the curtains, cutting Gaara's face in half, making his other eye look colorless and dead.

"W-What do you wanna talk about?" Kiba stammered, leaning on the wall weakly.

"Why did you run from me?" Gaara demanded, stepping closer.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," Kiba sighed. "And no, I don't hate you, Gaara. I never did, and I never will."

Gaara frowned, not understanding. "Then… why? Did my brother threaten you, or something?"

Kiba bit his lips, and it looked like he was about to say something but decided against it at the last minute. An old pain glistened in his eyes, and he shook his head.

"Gaara, I'm sorry that I hurt you. It was never my intention, but I did just that," Kiba apologized. "You have no idea how I've regretted it."

The expression on Gaara's face softened, and he looked less threatening. An old pain rose to Kiba's throat, he swallowed, but it stayed.

"So… You and Naruto, huh?" There was a bittersweet look on his face.

Gaara looked apologetic, ashamed.

"You said a guy like you wouldn't be his type, anyway," Kiba reminded bitterly.

The redhead let out a sad sigh. "I know. And I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings as well. You have no reason to feel insecure, Kiba. You're an honest, sweet guy… and great in bed as well."

Now there was a smirk on Gaara's face, and Kiba blushed, like he had seen something forbidden.

"You were always a cute one," the redhead murmured, with a small smile. But then, he turned serious. "I guess Kankuro saw it, too."

Kiba startled, his eyes wide, like he was caught. "It just… happened. I swear, I never… when you and I were together, I never—"

"I believe you," Gaara cut him off, his voice sad. "I found out, by accident. I wish you two would've told me."

"Is that why you called me a thousand times?" Kiba wondered, sounding tired.

Now Gaara looked ashamed, and his cheeks turned red. "Sorry about that… I might've gone overboard with it."

"And the letter…" Kiba reminded him, with a sadder than sad look.

Gaara sighed, and it felt like the old wounds of that time began aching again.

"Come here," Kiba murmured, and pulled him into a hug. "You'll always be precious to me, even if we aren't together like that anymore. I know you, Gaara. You're a good, loyal man."

Shyly, Gaara put his arms around the brunet. "K-Kiba… I've missed you. But Naruto and I…"

"I know," Kiba understood, and pulled off the hug. Gently, he looked at the redhead. "I get it. Don't worry."

"Thanks for letting me in. And sorry for the chaos," Gaara murmured, shaking his head.

"Well, you really gave me a spook today," Kiba admitted, fidgeting with his sleeves. "But all is well now, and I'm glad we could talk things through."

"Me, too," Gaara smiled shortly.

"You wanna watch a movie, or play some games?" Kiba suggested.

"I'd love to," Gaara agreed with a genuine smile.

Back at home, Kankuro was lounging on the couch when Gaara came back.

"Oh, I thought you'd gone to Naruto's," Kankuro said, and turned down the volume of the TV.

"Nah, I was just out… for a walk," Gaara responded, and sat down next to him.

Kankuro put his arm around his little brother, and chuckled. "You? On a walk?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes threateningly, but it wasn't without humor. "Is it so hard to imagine?"

Kankuro chuckled some more and ruffled his hair. "Well, you seem a lot more relaxed. Maybe you should go on walks more often."

"Yeah, I know," Gaara smiled shortly.

A week after, Naruto's busy schedule had finally eased out, and now the blond was spending the upcoming weekend with Gaara.

"Well, I'll be going… to you know who," Kankuro stammered, a faint blush on his cheeks. "I'll be back tomorrow. Don't burn down the house while I'm gone, kids."

"Have fun," Gaara retorted, and through narrowed eyes, watched as his brother stumbled out of the house with his duffel bag.

Naruto smiled at the sight, unaware.

Back in Gaara's room, Naruto still grinned happily. "I hadn't realized your brother had a sweetheart, too."

"Yeah, my ex," Gaara said scornfully.

"W-What?" Naruto stuttered, caught off guard. "You mean the one who you just broke up with?"

Without words, Gaara nodded, digging up a cigarette from the drawer. He lit it and let the heavenly poison slither into his system.

"How did it happen?" Naruto wondered, squinting.

"It's a long story," Gaara told, his steady gaze searching for Naruto's micro-expressions. "But the main reason is, because he's a spineless coward."

"Uh huh?" Naruto gasped.

"He's a backstabber, a worm. Don't mind about him, let him slither into his hiding place. We don't miss him. Karma will take care of him, trust me," Gaara murmured, and blew smoke on Naruto's face.

Naruto coughed, trying to move away, but Gaara gripped his face.

"Here," Gaara offered him the cig.

"No, thanks," Naruto shook his head.

"Sissy," Gaara mocked, with a challenging glint in his eyes.

"I hate smoking, sorry," Naruto explained calmly. But Gaara didn't seem impressed.

"Let's play a fun game," he suggested.

"What game?" Naruto wondered.

"I'll burn you with the cigarette end, and you'll squirm. Like a little worm," Gaara proposed, still holding Naruto's face in a grip.

"Nah, I'll pass. It sounds lame," Naruto refused, pouting.

"If you'll live through eleven burns, I'll make you experience something unforgettable," Gaara lured.

"The cigarette burns alone sound unforgettable as such, so I'll have to pass, sorry," Naruto declined politely.

Gaara narrowed his eyes and blew some more smoke on Naruto's face. The blond closed his eyes, and let it happen, but his mouth was nothing but a grim line.

"You're no fun," Gaara whispered coldly, and let go of Naruto. "You're vanilla."

"Hey, I have a dark side, too," Naruto defended, trying to keep his cool.

"Oh, you do? I don't think so," Gaara said. "You're squeaky clean, a goody two-shoes. With your Christian, straight friends." Now, Gaara's gaze turned cruel. "They'll soon ask why you don't have a fiancée already, and wonder what's wrong with you. What are you gonna do then?"

Naruto hung his head and balled up his fists. "Look, I don't like the way you're trying to find my sensitive spots and start a fight. You know me through and through, Gaara. There's nothing I'm hiding from you. I trust my deepest secrets to you. Is this how you treat people who trust you?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes and took a long smoke. Angrily, he blew the smoke, but not towards Naruto this time. "Damned goody two-shoes…"

Naruto had that sadness in his eyes again, and frustratedly, Gaara tossed his cig in a flowerpot.

"If you trust me, why won't you let me burn you with a cig?" Gaara challenged, once again closing in on his friend and gripping his chin.

But Naruto only smiled sorrowfully. "I trust you with my life, Gaara, and I trust that you won't hurt me."

Angrily, Gaara pushed Naruto against the mattress, and towered over him like a predator. He had a violent aura around him, and the sight reminded Naruto of a beast.

"Look, it sucks if your brother ran away with your ex, if he did it behind your back," Naruto started, with a melancholic voice. "It wasn't your fault. But if you were still with your ex, then you and I might've never happened."

"Tshc," Gaara hissed, backing away. With arms crossed, he sat on the mattress, leaning his back on the wall, staring into the distance. Naruto sat up, and inched closer.

"I've been dreaming of us for a long time, Gaara. You have no idea. There's no one else I want, but you," Naruto murmured, and his eyes started to look watery.

"Ugh, come on," Gaara sighed, trying not to look him in the eyes.

"I know," Naruto chuckled melancholically. "You have no idea how my heart ripped in two when you told me you were dating someone else."

"Yeah, yeah," Gaara waved it off, glancing darkly at his friend. Naruto looked innocent and honest with his watery, blue eyes. "You're just talking."

"No, I'm not. And you know it, I know you do," Naruto murmured, sneaking his hands around Gaara's waist, and whispering in his ear. "I was so scared to make a move because I was frightened that I might lose you."

"Hmmh," Gaara sighed, letting his friend stay so close. It didn't feel horrible to have Naruto breathe in his ear, to have his hair tickle his skin. And it wasn't most awful to sense the warmth radiating from him. It wasn't horrible, and he didn't hate it.

"You always were a cool kid, Gaara. You were witty and unapologetic, but you were never unfair," Naruto reminded. "You knew right from wrong, and I always admired your morale."

"You weren't bad yourself either," Gaara gave in. "People seemed to like you from the very beginning. You had your charm."

"You're flattering me," Naruto murmured softly, and kissed Gaara's cheek. "I like it."

"You're greedy," Gaara chuckled darkly, letting Naruto cling to him and place small kisses on his face.

"You know me," Naruto whispered velvetly, and slid his hand under Gaara's shirt. His fingers touched something odd, and quickly he glanced at the skin, and saw small, round burn-marks in there.

"Don't touch my belly," Gaara pouted, and pulled his shirt down. "Get off me."

"Gaara…" Naruto started worriedly.

"Let's play," Gaara said, and slid down to the floor to dig a box from under the bed.

"You wanna play… a memory game?" Naruto frowned, looking at the children's game.

"It's fun. I'll beat you," Gaara announced, and spread the cards face-side down on the floor. "I'll start, then it's your turn."

"Gaara…" Naruto whispered, perplexed. Quietly, he played along, finding himself to be too distracted to correctly fare in the game.

"You're bad at this," Gaara soon noticed, and stared at him searchingly. Naruto flashed a quick, sad smile, and scratched his head.

"It's been a long time since I've played anything like this. I know I'm a bit rusty, sorry," Naruto explained.

Gaara smiled quickly back. "It's alright. You'll get better."

"I sure hope so," Naruto chuckled, but couldn't let go of the anxiety swelling inside his stomach. "Hey, um… can you tell me why you have a boo boo in your belly?"

But Gaara didn't seem to regard his question at all. Patiently, Naruto tried again.

"Who made a boo boo on your belly?"

"Who made a boo boo," Gaara repeated like a parrot. "You did."

"I did?" Naruto wondered, taken aback.

"I did," Gaara repeated, and when Naruto's eyebrow twitched, a mischievous smile came to Gaara's face.

"I get it, very funny. But for real, I'm just worried," Naruto said with sadness.

"You're a worrier," Gaara understood, and got the blond to smile a bit.

"Yeah, maybe I am," Naruto admitted. "I care about you. You're the most important person in my life, Gaara. Did you know that?"

"I didn't," Gaara confessed in a small voice, and fiddled with the cards.

Naruto smiled warmly at him. "You've been my special person for a long time already, and it's never going to change."

"You promise?" Gaara asked with round eyes. Naruto gazed at him lovingly.

"I promise."

But something changed behind Gaara's eyes, and he hissed snidely. "I don't trust you!"

"H-Hey, it's alright. I'll always stay by your side, I will never leave you, Gaara," Naruto assured.

"No. You will leave just like everybody else. I know you, Naruto, you're no different. By the time I've marred your skin with burns and cuts, you'll cry and want to go home. Not even you will stay, Naruto, so why don't you leave right now," Gaara growled.

But Naruto met his defiance with an empathetic smile. "Come here."

Naruto embraced Gaara, and held him tenderly, protectively. "I will always stay by your side, Gaara. I won't be going anywhere. I love you, and you're precious to me. It will never change."

"How do you know?" Gaara hissed.

"I just know it in my heart. I know it will be like that for the rest of my life," Naruto explained, and caressed Gaara's hair.

"How do you know that your heart won't change its mind?" Gaara murmured.

"It never does. I can trust that whatever it eventually decides, it stays," Naruto explained calmly.

To Gaara, such a concept of stability felt surreal. Naruto was no doubt a strange man, with a strange heart. How had such a luminous person decided to entwine someone like Gaara into his dreams? After all the threats and cruelty along their journey, Naruto was even now engaging him into the sweetest embrace, and locking him up into his heart chamber, throwing away the key.

Such stable devotion was a difficult concept for Gaara to understand.

"Please stay forever," Gaara murmured softly, and Naruto pulled him even closer.