Toronto, Canada-
I awoke to the sensation of something tiny touching, or rather tapping, my hand. Groaning lightly, my eyes fluttered open. My vision was hazing briefly, but soon returned back to normal, and I could see… I could see everything.
"Mom? Mom! Mom, wake up! Wake up!" This adorable little voice repeated as the tapping continued. I'm dreaming…. I must be dreaming. That's the only explanation my mind could think of. Right here, standing at the side of my bed, was the cutest boy I'd ever seen in my life. He was small, like tiny- no older than four or five, I'd say. His skin was brown but lighter than mine. His hair was dark and curly. And those eyes….. So wide and absorbing. He had the sweetest little smile and gave off this immediate charming aura. His hand kept on tapping my hand, as if trying to awake me. My eyes opened, and our gazes met, and he beamed like he was the happiest boy there ever was, practically bouncing in place with excitement.
"Mom! Mom, it's me! It's Sasha!" Sasha? I thought that was a girl's name. Still totally convinced this was nothing but a dream, I could only stare at the young boy listlessly. My lips parted a sliver after a long second. "My alarm's going to go off soon…."
I can't believe those were the first words to my only son.
Course I didn't know that at the time; I had no clue who this boy was, or my brain manifested his presence there with me. Sasha blinked at me perplexed, tilting his head a tad to the side. "Mom, don't you know me? I came all the way here to see you." There he goes, calling me "Mom" again. My mouth opened a tiny bit in response to this. "To see me…..?" His head nodded eagerly as his cute eyes momentarily shut. "Yeah! I just got here! Aren't you happy?! Didn't you want to see me too?!" See you? I don't even know you. "Uh, who are you again? And….. what are you doing in my room?" And why am I talking to this imaginary phantasm?
The boy blinked wildly. "Don't you know me? I'm Sasha, your son!" He announced with pride. This… THIS caught my attention. Sitting up like a shot, I forgot I was dreaming for a second as I just ogled him dumbfounded. While he wore a great big smile, my jaw was dangling all the way to the covers. "M-My son?" "Uh huh!" His small head gave a second nodded. I think my brain- and mouth- literally stopped functioning in that instant. Too bad that didn't stop the words from spewing out of me.
"N-No….. No, that's impossible. I DON'T have any kids," I've never even had a boyfriend, for crying out loud! Sasha's little forefinger pointed inward at his chest. "Yes, you do- me." "No, no; you don't understand. I don't have kids! Women just don't "have" kids like that; that's not how it works!" Course he'd be too young to know how it actually works. Unsurprisingly he didn't get it, cocking his head yet again confused. "B-But… you're my mom. You're MY mom. I know you are!" "I can't be! I've never been pregnant before!" "What's "pregnant" mean?" He inquired innocently and I tossed my arms up in defeat. Why am I arguing with a literal child? That's when the frantic slapping and pinching started.
"Nugh, wake up! Wake up! Come on, wake up, you idiot! Wake up!" Cried over and over again from my lips. Sasha suddenly looked concerned, and so was I when he unexpectedly hopped up onto the bed and shimmied over to my side. My eyes got so large when both his hands took hold of my assaulting arm, trying his very best to hold it in place. "Don't do that! You'll hurt yourself," he pleaded- again, in the most adorable voice ever. This act of protection on his part made me gawk down at the child in stunned astonishment. He seemed to really care about me…..
Sasha took this opportunity to shift his hands up, cradling mine in them. As he squeezed my hand, he smiled so lovingly, so proudly….. "It's me, Mom; it's your son. I'm here; I'm here now," he said before a long pause slipped in between us. To my shock he looked like he was on the verge of crying. He brought my hand forward to press up against his cheek, closing his tender eyes for a second as he did so. "I've waited my whole life to meet you….." He then whispered more to himself than to me.
It also didn't register in my mind at the time the implication behind these words.
That's also when something struck me; this brand-new sensation somewhere deep inside my heart. It was like a maternal flip had been switched on, and I inherently wanted to help him, keep him from harm…. I'd never felt this way about anyone before, but it was immediate- and it was strong. Still thinking this was a dream somehow, I didn't want to continue rejecting the boy's claims that I was his "mother". When I really studied the features of his face, I had to admit that there was a faint resemblance….. But honestly, I had no experience with kids and had no idea what I was doing. I just decided to wing it but delicately so.
"Are….. Are you absolutely sure that I'm your mother, Sasha?" This seemed to please him, as I failed to notice that I said his name for the first time. He nodded, still keeping hold of my hand in both his. "Yep! You're my mom, alright! Kate Bridgerton!" "Uh, no….. I'm Kate Sharma," I tried to be as gentle as possible in my correction. He was confused for a moment, cocking his head as per usual. "That's not your name! Dad always called you "Kate Bridgerton"." Dad? Uh oh… L-Let's not touch that right now. In fact, let's keep away from that with a ten-foot pole. I still wasn't convinced that this boy was mine even. That's when my mind started to point out other details I've neglected to miss so far as well….
My head shot around, as if searching for something I'd missed. "Wait! How did you get in here?!" "I didn't! Or well, I guess I did….. The last thing I remember was blowing out my birthday candles and making a wish. I wanted to come and see you!" He proclaimed like it ought to make sense somehow. "You wanted….. to come see me? Your mother….?" "That's right! I guess I've gone back in time somehow. None of this looks familiar to me," he glanced around like he expected to find me back in his old house, or the house he was living in…. In the future… Wait, what?!
"You travelled back in time?!" I didn't mean to raise my voice so loud, catching Sasha off-guard. His grin began to fade as if worried that he did something wrong. "Y-Yeah…. I-I guess so." "W-Wha-….? What….? No! No, that's not possible! This is a dream! A really confusing, emotionally charged dream!" Both my hands sprang away from him so to grab my head in a panic. Naturally this alarmed poor Sasha, who could only stare up at me distressed.
"I-I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to make you mad." "I'm not mad! I'm experiencing a mental episode! Time-travel ISN'T real! You can't be here! This can't be happening!" "Mom, please don't be angry! I…. I-I thought you might be happy to see me too. I don't want you to be mad at me," the quake in his tone made me freeze. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears again and my maternal instinct took over without my brain's consent. Doing everything in my power to regain control of my emotions, I forced out a breath and looked at the young boy compassionately. Come on, Kate; even if he is just a character in a dream, he's still a child. He doesn't understand logic or reality like you do; you need to be the adult here. Just do something before it gets any worse! If such a thing were possible…..
"Uh, n-no. No, I'm not mad; I'm not mad at you, Sasha. I'm just…. confused, that's all. You didn't do anything wrong; it's not your fault, ok?" I'm not sure if I'm any good at comforting kids. Sasha's chin tilted up cautiously but hopefully, and his eyes blinked at me with the cutest expression. "Y-You're not mad…..?" "Of course not! Er, well…. Um, y-you…. You just said you're celebrating your birthday?" That question made him bounce back to his happy, jittery self. He held up five fingers with pride. "Mmhmm! I just turned five!" "Wow! That's…. great! And uh…. Y-You blew out your candles and wished to see me?" He nodded again with finality. "And then…. you came here? That's the last thing you remember?" "Uh huh! I found you sleeping in this room!" "I see….." Oh no, this must be some sort of severe mental episode I'm having.
While I tried to grasp the situation, the blissful Sasha began peering about the room, curiously inspecting his surroundings. "This is a small room," was the first thing he noted. Heh, I guess I haven't taught him good manners yet, if this whole scenario was real and he was my son from the future. But that thought gave me an idea….
"Where do you live, Sasha?" "London," he replied so casually. I felt my heart skip another beat as my lips sputtered. "L-London? As in London, the capital of the United Kingdom?" "Uh huh. Where's this?" He pointed out of the window. I looked from outside it back to his pondering face. "Toronto." "Like in Canada?" He questioned and I nodded. He was taken aback by this slightly.
"Why are you in Canada?" "I live here." "No, you don't. You lived in London with us." "Uh, well…. Um, I suppose I moved over there….. eventually?" I had no plans on moving to London. Though now that he mentioned it, isn't that where Edwina was staying with her new fiancé now? I've never met the man and haven't seen my sister since before starting PhD.
Sasha overlooked the room again absentmindedly before turning back to face me. "How old are you?" "Uh, twenty-seven." "Really?! That's old!" Heh, kids… I had to suppress an amused grin. "Not really. I'm not even thirty yet." "That's how old you are when you have me!" Oh, well at least there's that to know now. But he wasn't the only one who was becoming more curious about the situation.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" "No, just me," he replied, looking about the place again. Huh, that's strange. I always imagined that if I ever did have kids, I'd have a whole whack of them. It felt weird thinking that I wouldn't, or perhaps couldn't, give Sasha any siblings- not that he seemed to mind. I wasn't prepared for him to suddenly clap his hands together and beam back at me all excited once more.
"I can't believe it's really you! It really worked! My wish came true! Now we can do everything together!" "W-Wait a minute…." I started but his ramblings interrupted me. "We can go to the zoo, and the pool, and play football and tennis together! And you can take me to football matches!" "Wait, Sasha….." "We should get Dad too! The three of us can do stuff together!" "Sasha, hold on a minute!" "What is it?" He blinked and my hand reached over to rest overtop of his tiny forearm. "L-Let's take a moment and figure things out here. You might know me, but I have no idea who you are…. I-I mean I'm not used to being a mom- yet! I've never had a kid before," that's for sure. His puzzled eyebrow cocked. "So? You're my mom; you'll know what to do. All moms know what to do!" Where'd he learn that? That's profoundly not true, but I wasn't in the mood to quash his delusions. Instead, I calmly shook my head; how I was able to maintain a calm front under such circumstances, I'll never know.
"I-I'm just saying we should take this slow…. Assuming it's not a dream," I didn't mean to say the last part out loud. He rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. "You don't need to worry about me, Mom. I'm five! I'm not a kid anymore!" "You are literally a kid, and a quite young one at that." "So?! Why should our spending time together be such a big deal?" "Because there are child-protective laws and CPS and legal documents- all of which pose a serious problem to a child-less woman walking around with an undocumented minor." "But I'm YOUR kid!" "We may know that, but the rest of the world doesn't! Look, let's assume for argument's sake that this is all real and you're really my son from the future. W-What do we do now? What am I supposed to do now? How do I…..? Where do I…..? I'm living in a building which doesn't allow any children, for Christ's sake!" My hand rose up to my panicked forehead yet again. Sasha's couldn't comprehend this, appearing slightly offended. "Why are you living somewhere that doesn't allow kids? What about me?!" "YOU are not a thought in my brain yet! Er… W-What I mean is you're not born yet. This is my life BEFORE becoming a mother! I didn't even know that "you" would happen!" Little Sasha stared up at me with such big eyes. "Yeah but…. aren't you glad that I did happen?"
This voice was so pure and innocent just then that it caught me by surprise. I could only stare at my…. my "son" while my head reeled trying to think of a solution. Maybe this is a dream, or maybe this isn't real and this is someone else's kid. Theoretically that makes more logical sense; some random kid just wandered into my room off the street. It would explain why he didn't know my name. Still, I wanted, I had to be sure. If this was true….. If by some miracle this boy was my son, and apparently my only child….. then my life just got a hell of a lot more complicated. Sasha watched me reach over to grab my phone. "Who're you calling?" He asked with interest. I kept my eyes partly on him as I dialled.
"I'm calling the doctor."